#ive never rlly talked abt WHY this is a hill i'll die on and im not even super cohrent rn but.

[erthshaker]

ik i never shut up about terra being gay but i almost never talk about why it's such an important part of his character that i never intend to infringe on, and that's because, growing up as a deeply closeted lesbian, i resonate with terra's thinking, that there's something wrong with him, that he's the problem because he doesn't conform to what people expect from him. i'll admit, a decent part of this headcanon is me projecting, as a kid who grew up in the homophobic trenches of a red state in the early 2000s, where people didn't even say the word gay until i was like, 12.

but the other part of this headcanon is that the conclusion of terra's character arc is self-acceptance, and that acceptance of himself and of who and what he is is ultimately what saves him, and i think that rings true for a lot of lgbt folks like myself. both myself and terra have spent large portions of our lives overcompensating for things we believe others will perceive as flaws or problems. much like riku, i perceive and thus write terra as a semi-closeted gay man because it's not always a part of his life that he's comfortable sharing, just as i'm not always comfortable sharing it with the people around me.

ultimately, terra's story is one of self-acceptance, of loving yourself first, just as you are, perceived flaws and all, of healing and learning to love the parts of you that were rejected by others, and honestly ?? that reads more lgbt to me than anything else, because just as much as that's terra's story, it's mine, too.

this is kind of disjointed and emotional bc i'm a little zooted off my pain meds but. tldr; your favorite traumatized boykisser is written by ur favorite traumatized girlkisser