#ive never been an age terence hasn't and im not sure I know how

[treefey]

"Terence crept nervously through the forest, glancing often over his shoulder. He was a slim, agile boy, perhaps fourteen years old-- though he did not know his age exactly-- and he moved easily among the brambles." (The Squire's Tale, page 1)

"Gawain shrugged. 'Is that so rare? Until I began traveling with you-- fifteen, twenty years ago, or whatever it was-- I never had contact with the Other World." (The Squire's Quest, page 4)

"Terence [...] said, 'About fifteen years ago--' 'Sixteen,' corrected Eileen, who had gone back to her embroidery." (The Squire's Quest, page 21)

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I'm having a really hard time this reread of The Squire's Tales, and the quotes above from Squire's Quest hit hard and made me think.

I found The Squire, His Knight, and His Lady in my middle school library. I was 12, younger than Terence at the time.

Let's assume everyone's math is correct about Terence's age (I trust Eileen to be the most accurate). 14+20=34 . Terence is around 34 in Squire's Quest. I'm 34. I just moved into my own house, I've gone back to school, started a new job. It generally feels like I have plenty to do and to give. When Terence died, he was my age (or close enough to), had just been knighted, had just publicly married his love. All that potential was cut short in a violent tragedy, and a happily ever after in the Other World doesn't negate that tragedy.

I will likely (hopefully) outlive Terence. Knowing that I (hopefully) will get to be an age that Terence never did is just heartbreaking. Also wtf i've been reading these books for over two decades no wonder they're so formative to my personality