#ive been watching this show for basically a decade now n this one bit still remains one of my favourite jokes ever

[chippacket]

LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SIMPSONS CLIPS EVER ITLL NEVER NOT BE HILARIOUS TO ME

an absolute travesty this Simpsons clip isn't on YouTube in full by itself because I would fight for the honor of it being one of the best jokes in the entire show

[komoreangel]

𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐚

pairing: scaramouche x fem!reader

scenario: you met when you were both very young, and since the day he left you behind he still feels an undying fear for what sight would await him if he dared to return home.

or…

thantophobia - the fear of losing a loved one. but he had made it perfectly clear that you did not fall under that category when he left you and all of your promises behind.

request: okok my first idea was: scaramouche childhood friends to enemies to lovers. take with that what you will <3

a/n: hi anon ty so very much for the request we all know i love scara <33 but i did tweak it a bit basically its childhood friends to enemies to scara loves reader but reader isnt convinced (with a hint of 'ive always loved you' thrown in)

side note: this is a rewrite of an excerpt i wrote for a scara x oc, in which the oc was female (the same is said here but i will avoid using pronouns) and adopted into the kamisato clan as a princess (minor inazuma spoilers). the same situation is stated here. also i am 1000% willing to write more of this (includes my personal headcanons for scaramouche’s backstory, not canon!!)

growing up, you had always had poor health

your mother worried for you a lot when you were younger

she didn’t like to let you go outside much either

you spent most of your time in the palace walls while she worked, frequently being taken to see the royal physician

you would sit outside the door while your parents talked with the doctors about your “condition”

you weren’t even that sick

just weak for your age

that was when you first met him

he was training to be a soldier along his father

you were like a ghost in his eyes

sitting in the hall in the middle of the night

knees pushed to your chest, snoozing in the soft light of the moon

he was naturally a curious boy, so he kneeled in front of you and poked your shoulder

“hello?”

you startled awake

“wah-!” he fell back at your sudden movement

“who are you?” you asked

your voice was soft, and gentle, like a midnight breeze

“i’m [redacted].”

you remember what he told you, but some part of that memory had been erased from your mind…you wonder to this day what he could have said.

“my name is y/n.”

he thought it was a pretty name, although he wasn’t going to say anything

the two of you sat in the moonlight, talking quietly amongst yourselves

“why are you sitting outside the physician’s office?” he asked you

“my mama says i’m sick, and that going outside will make it worse.”

“oh. are you going to get better soon?”

you smile at him, a gesture that makes his chest tighten, although he can’t fathom why.

“yeah! she says that if we can afford to get some medicine from liyue, i’ll be all better! then i can start making friends!”

he slightly smiles

“can i be your friend, [redacted]?”

you had even said the name yourself once. why couldn’t you remember it?

his expression shifts to a slightly surprised look

“you…want to be my friend?”

he was quiet even then, and his silent expression would grow to an angry one over time

“yeah! you’re interesting, and you’re one of the few people who bothers to talk to me.”

he doesn’t speak for a while.

“you can say no if you want to.” you say to him.

“okay. i’ll be your friend.”

it’s a short response, but the bright grin that lights up your face makes it worth the wait

“yay! i can’t wait till i’m better so we can hang out more!”

you two talked in that hallway a lot

meeting after dark, talking about anything in the world

when you were about six, the worst of your illness hit you

the doctors didn’t even know what was wrong, and there were nights when he would sit outside the physician’s office alone at night, hoping, praying that the sun would shine on a world that still had you in it

you would collapse from exhaustion at the slightest overexertion

his father always told him he had to be careful with you, not only were you shorter than him, but you were also very fragile

those hours spent sitting in the hallway alone, he got to do a lot of thinking

he wanted to help you, but he didn’t know how

then, there was a sudden burst of hope

you were going to liyue with your parents

you would get the help you needed

he was happy for you, even if it meant you would have to spend time away from him

and then there was the terrible news

the ship had gone missing

you had too

he couldn’t sleep for days on end

his father was worried too

when he saw you again, you found yourself shuddering on the shores of inazuma

he wrapped his arms around you as tight as he could, as if his strength alone could undo everything that had happened

it was one of the few times he showed affection in public

he rushed you to the healer again

and this time there was no hoping

there was no praying

there was just the pit in his stomach, the fear that coursed through his veins and fueled his blood

every second felt like a decade, it was a moment in which you weren’t perfectly healthy and safe

the townspeople began to spread rumors, as people do

the guard’s son who was lovesick with worry for the sickly orphan girl

what a pity, no?

he wanted to shut them up. he wished he had the power to shut them up.

when even his father had to drag him away from the pharmacy, he didn’t talk to anyone for a very long time.

this was around the time he grew sour and snappy

his simply quiet demeanor developed into a scowl that constantly graced his face

he only smiled the day you were released from the physicians.

you weren’t fully healed. but you felt better than you ever had in your life.

his father took you in without a second thought, and he was just happy to have you with him.

“i’m better, scara.” you said to him, a happy smile on your face

“i was wondering when you’d hurry up and get well.”

you were a bit troubled by his attitude, but no less, you were happy to see your friend again.

it went like that for a long time.

he was rude, but you didn’t care because you knew what he was like underneath.

some nights he would sneak into your room and talk to you.

he told you he was just bored and felt like annoying you.

but his real reason was to make sure you were still breathing.

he always worried about you

so the day you received your vision, he felt a lot of relief

surely this meant that you could protect yourself. you were safe.

then the worst of all things happened.

his fathers death.

the day he felt like his world was ripped from underneath his feet.

almost immediately, the electro archon, baal, herself, intervened, and declared that you were to be adopted into the kamisato clan.

why you? why couldn’t he keep you with him? he was old enough to be able to take care of both of you

baal didn’t like his questioning. she said she knew what was best for you.

it was strange. because in the days he spent with you after, although not many, you didn’t seem sick at all.

for the first time, you seemed perfectly healthy.

he was glad for that…but he wasn’t happy. you could see that easily.

you knew this wasn’t the right thing for him

he stuck around for a year. you suppose you’re lucky he even stayed that long. you were pretty much his only reason.

sure he found friends in ayaka and kazuha…but he was unhappy.

he knew there was no point in staying, so he thought it was time he took his leave.

he approached you one day, as the sun began to set

you were worried for him, as he had been very angry towards baal and the emperor lately.

“scara, is there something you want to talk about?”

you watch as he stands before you

he blurts out, “run away with me.”

you’re taken aback almost immediately.

“what?”

he repeats his statement

“i’m going to flee from inazuma. come with me.”

“scara..”

his expression, as it does often these days, turns stern and serious.

“i’m not going to ask you again. come with me, y/n.”

you’re tired of him ordering you around.

“you know i can’t. i have duties here. i can’t just betray my country for you.”

“you know baal wants me gone. she’s going to kill me if i stay. she might do the same to you.”

you scoff at his words. “she won’t harm me or you. you’re being dramatic.”

he spits out his next words, laced with venom. “baal killed my father. i hate her and so should you.”

“scara.”

“it’s like you’ve completely forgotten about him just because you’re royalty now.”

“scara.”

“don’t call me scara. come with me if you ever cared at all.”

“scaramouche!”

he goes quiet

“don’t go. please.”

he frowns

“you know i can’t do that.”

you want to try and make him stay

but he won’t. you know nothing you say will convince him. he won’t let himself be convinced by you, even if that’s what he truly wants.

you inhale

“get out of here.”

“what?”

“go. leave. and take this with you.”

you throw the necklace you were wearing at him, and he catches it. baal had exiled him, it was true, but he couldn’t expect you to throw everything away for him.

“wait, what are you-“

as the two of you stare each other down, you hear ayaka’s voice coming from the courtyard, calling for you.

she has a guard with her, as the emperor assigns every royal family member. you managed to ditch yours early on.

“the guard is gonna get you if you stay, scara. get out of here, now.”

he scoffs

“whatever. i can’t believe i thought you were worth risking my life.”

he pockets the necklace and steps over the wall, and he’s gone.

nine years of friendship and he threw you away like you were nothing

in truth, the minute he was out of sight, he threw down his bag in anger

he turned around and you weren’t there anymore

you gave up on him

so if he hated you, you deserved it

it might be worth a hefty price anyway.

at least that’s what he told himself

(he never stopped missing you. almost as soon as he joined the fatui, he requested an audience with the tsaritsa to ask her how you were doing.)

“a simple agent, asking that much of me? and for a girl? that’s very bold of you.”

upon hearing it was about you, the cryo archon grew very interested. of course she remembered you.

the sickly orphan she gifted a vision to at a very young age.

she told him you were well

what she didn’t tell him was about baal going berserk and massacring thousands of her people.

upon receiving the news, he felt that chill upon him once again

the fear that fell onto his shoulders, weighing him down, too scared to ask for more information. he didn’t want to be told you were gone.

“the royal family was not harmed.”

he felt his muscles relax as he calmed down.

he quickly reassumed an upright stance.

he was the sixth harbinger. he has no weaknesses. he cares for nothing and no one.

but beneath his mask, the fire of his love for you burned brighter than the flame of any pyro vision.

a/n: ok so i really enjoyed this….scara banner when. i did tweak it a bit but i have other things written for this scenario in which scara returns to inazuma and reader is (deservingly) PISSED with him :) lmk if you want me to post those !

[love4hobi]

Okay this is gonna be long but I wanted to respond and put my 2 cents in about ur asks u got yesterday and discussion over bts recent music....okay so I read somehwere (I forget) that PTD was like their end to the trilogy thing of songs they were doing in that type of genre / English thing...Idk if that’s 100% true but it can give hope. Imo I actually liked butter and stuff PTD was just straight up bad but I liked butter and dynamite...is it their best work clearly not close but it wasn’t bad like PTD😭😭 also as I’ve been a fan for so fucking long (2015) I can say that for 2020-2021 bts KEEPS their success bc they’re such great perofmorers and bring it everytime despite the current music they’re releasing...(my opinion...) like I rememebr watching festa room live and being like holy shit they’re so good what the fuck and then realizing they were performing like all old b sides besides 2 songs😭😭 idk. To me they still perform and put on top level stages and that’s what keeps me interested and a fan to this day...also idk if you liked MOTS and persona but I liked both ...and BE was an okay album to me (not their best but come on KDKDKDKDKDKDD) also I think we as fans need to expect that every artist has their peak. Like there’s so many western rock /alt bands that I’m in love with their albums and then they release shit I don’t like after being together for like a decade and I just have to accept they reached their peak musically but am able to look back at their work they have done and still love them for what they did and released. Idk. I think bts can still bring it back musically as the time period of 2020-2021 isn’t that long in my opinion. Yes it’s been their worst year musically but it’s been like a year since dynamite so it hasn’t been THAT long. I think it feels like a long ass time tho so I get it....I’m giving them a lot of room and you obviously can disagree I’m just stating my opinion lol!! Cuz I do agree that PTD sucked and hybe is stupid...I mean take a look at what p dogg said a month ago when he said that it’s sad that bts songs are getting so incredibly short and the rap line can’t show their skills anymore to cater to the market and to check out their other music...(literally say that shit like word for word basically in a YouTube video....) like does this man (their long time producer) expressing these worries seirously have 0 say??? Like it really seemed like he is bummed about their recent shit too and bts are rich so you’d think they’d put their foot down and say no to anything...but I agree with you about how they’ve been grinding nonstop for 8 years and maybe they’re just fucking tired. Like it’s understandable. Anyway, I agree that this years music has been lacking (and honestly I lowkey feel that way about all kpop AT the moment)....like txt is the only group imo that is releasing good music right now...not to drag anyone else but twice disappointed me this year and nct and skz too 😭😭 but you know!! It is what it is!!! Back to bts tho, I personally still love them bc of their body of work that they have done and their stage performances and probably will feel that way for a long time. Idk, I’ve experience this with so many bands so it doesn’t shock me that much. Like for ex the band arctic monkeys had a perfect discography for me then they released an ass album and it sucked and I just accepted that maybe they just reached their peak 😭😭 idk...this was super long but oof

oh hmm i havent heard that about the trilogy but that certainly would be nice,, but then the coldplay collab is pretty much basically confirmed at this point and thatll probably be mostly if not all in english 🙄 and omg yes ur so right performing is definitely one of their biggest strong suits especially on tours whenever i go back and rewatch old concerts its just like theres no one else like them like theres lots of great performers in kpop but theres just something special about them altogether as a group!! and the thought and effort they put into end of the year stages always blows me away, but yea also smaller things like the festa room live are so nice,, they just work so well together on every level. but i do see what ur saying about them peaking cus yea i loved black swan and on and i could see how that would feel hard to top, but idk yea like i said in another ask they might just be tired and i think if they dont put out anything that great in the next year or two i feel like they might be able to get back together sometime after enlistement once theyve hopefully been a little ✨rejuvenated✨ and had time to rest n just live their lives for a bit (and bighit has hopefully moved on to txt and the new gg a bit more) and finally be able to to do something thats more them and just fits what they actually want to be doing at that point in their careers. but omg yea exactly what u said abt pdogg it kinda rly sucked to hear him say exactly what i was thinking in that vid and for His opinion to still not even have an effect on anything :( but also yea like you said and ive said in some other asks the pandemic has affected the music quality of a lot of groups/artists and theres always hope that things will get back to normal afterwards or maybe they really have peaked unfortunately theres no way to know we just have to wait n see ig :/

[victoryliononline]

Turning the climate crisis into a TV love child of Jerry Springer and Judge Judy | Planet Oz

As a Trump appointee pushings for televised slanging match, a New York magazine cover story precipitates a different dialogue should we talk about how bad global warming was likely to get?

In the United States, people who refuse to accept even some of the basic tenets of atmosphere discipline are announcing for a scorching debate.

Who better to do that than groupings of scientists getting together and having a robust argument for the whole world to ascertain, the boss of the Environmental Protection Agency, Scott Pruitt, told Reuters.

And, of course, Pruitt thinks it should be on the telly .

You miss this to be on full showing, he articulated. I repute the American people would be very interested in downing that. I think they deserve it.

Thats right. Pruitts respect for climate discipline would see it reduced to a bastard TV love child of Jerry Springer and Judge Judy.

Pruitt has been pushing around new ideas that has been the wet dream of fossil-fuel funded environment science deniers for years now and it is this: there should be a blood-red unit, blue-blooded team process were set out in the key principles of climate change, from its causes to how bad it will be.

In a nature that doesnt have a former world television perform and real estate financier as the US president, this process already exists its called the technical approach. The clearest demonstration of the blood-red crew, blue-blooded squad technique is currently in the process of peer review.

To borrow from Winston Churchills commentary on republic , no one claims that peer review is perfect or all-wise, it precisely happens to be better than all the other ways of ending what the facts are.

What Pruitt and his supporters are envisaging has resonates of the 1925 Scopes monkey contest. Then the government of Tennessee sued a high school teacher, John Scopes, for educating progression( the government has motion-picture cameras for that spectacle, extremely ).

In Pruitts incarnation of the Scopes trial, one squad would have scientists representing the central sentiments of all respected technical conservatories around the world. The other would have a thin shred of contrarians.

To the considering public, the impression would be that there is some sort of even split among scientists about the key principles of climate change. It would be a test of debating techniques and communications abilities , not a test of the evidence.

The reality, of course, is that various analyzes demonstrate that somewhere between 90% and 100% of environment scientists agree on the fundamental points.

If you ask Americans what percentage of scientists agrees that humans are the main cause of climate change, about seven out of eight underestimate the count( more than one in five Americans contemplate most climate scientists do not envision humans are the main cause but its not clear how many of those watch Judge Judy ).

One of those people responsible for disorient the US public on climate change is Marc Morano the head of communications for the so-called thinktank the Committee for a Constructive Tomorrow and hes now touring Australia.

And while Morano wants people to keep making theres a real conversation about the basic causes of climate change( its his position to continue that dispute exiting ), theres a real and profitable conference going on at the more factual objective of the spectrum.

This is a conversation not about whether human-caused climate change is real or risky( yes and yes is the tremendous consensus on that) but preferably just how bad on the catastrophe-scale stuffs could actually get.

In a much-read New York magazine cover story, the journalist David Wallace-Wells chooses to coat the bleakest of word-paintings. The storys deed The Uninhabitable Earth is like one big-hearted spoiler alarm.

Writes Wallace-Wells:

What follows is not a series of predictions of what will happen that will be determined in massive persona by the much-less-certain discipline of human reaction. Instead, it is a likenes of our best to better understand where the planet is thoughts absent-minded aggressive activity. It is unlikely that all of these warming situations will be fully realized, principally because the upheaval along the way will shake our complacency. But those scenarios, and not the present climate, are the baseline. In happening, they are our schedule.

So in a life that does next to nothing to trimmed greenhouse gas emissions( its significant caveat that you need to constantly remind yourself of as you read through the 7,200 -word segment ), Wallace-Wells glances around for climate analyses that together decorate a indeed dystopian future.

He accompanies us unbreathable aura, heat incompatible with human life, submerged mega-cities, campaigns, dearth and economic collapse.

Hes been getting a little bit of pushback, with scientists including professors Michael Mann and Andrew Dessler alleging Wallace-Wells of some inaccuracies.

Mann and others say this sort of doomsday styling could pass beings to a sense of defeatism and pessimism thats not reflected in whats possible.

The veteran climate scribe Dave Roberts indicates the corrects are very few surely( he only really weighs two among the scores of targets procreated) but suggests if the commodity generates horror then this is in any case a key emotion that people need in order to act.

As others have pointed out, it should not be the job of writers to reject or underplay aspects of climate change time because it might suck the living hope out of books.

In reality, the solid tip of the risk chart from climate change where acts go really bad is genuinely terribly fat undoubtedly.

Take as simply a small sampling the prospective loss of functional shoal plans that feed hundreds of millions of beings, or the trillions of dollars of infrastructure and houses on flood-risk coastlines, or the interruption of food supplies, or the mass diasporas it could set in teach as rising sea level swallow peoples homelands and their collective history. If that leaves you cold, then theres ever coffee, chocolate and mass extinguishings.

No wonder military leaders are so worried about it. Perhaps they suck lots of chocolate?

At Mashable, Andrew Freedman writes that: In more than a decade of reporting on atmosphere scientific and plan, I have yet to meet a bleak climate scientist.

Well, Ive likewise had about a decade in environment the information and my experience is a little different. Countless exhibit abundance of pessimism, and they do it often.

In Australia, weve gone backwards. More than a quarter of a century ago, a “ministers ” missed a target to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 20% by the year 2005.

But those same climate scientists have flakes of hope too. The two things can exist at the same go.

Last night the power and environment priest, Josh Frydenberg, established a chide at the University of Queensland.

Graham Readfearn (@ readfearn)

“ #Climate change is the number one threat to the reef” but India involves our coal, enunciates @JoshFrydenberg pic.twitter.com/ P5Jx5uBGfw

July 12, 2017 blockquote >

His speech stupefied with statistics and pragmatism about answers that were likely to succour his ministrys trilemma of delivering energy insurance, inexpensive superpower and a transition to a lower releases future while still being able to push the country to be “the worlds” biggest seller of coal and gas.

There was a crisis in our exertion markets, Frydenberg alleged. But he mentioned almost nothing about the other crisis the climate crisis.

A questioner from the back asked that, imparted future prospects for the world used to be so horrible, did his bureau have any plans to review potential geoengineering responses to climate change.

The response was that Frydenberg would be interested to hear more, as if it were an issue he hadnt thought often about.

It was an answer that displayed the gulf between what a legislator thinks is a crisis and what actually is one. And, yes, its OK to say happenings could get really bad.

Read more: https :// www.theguardian.com/ environ/ planet-oz/ 2017/ jul/ 13/ turning-the-climate-crisis-into-a-tv-love-child-of-jerry-springer-and-judge-judy

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