#ive been sleeping so much better since i set them up too

[homestylehughes]

reading interruptions

pairing(s): quinn hughes x fem!reader

summary: when yn gets interrupted by quinn and his dirty mouth, while reading on the boat.

warning(s): plot with porn, smut 18+, oral fem!receiving, dirty talk, cussing. quinn has a dirty mouth in this. fluff, cute reader and quinn.

wc: 2.8k

an: hiiiii!!! new quinn ficcccc. i will never leave my quinn era. ever. recently ive been in a summer mood, first with sundresses and now with boats idk whats going on LOL. i honestly dont know where this idea came from, and for some reason i think it's bad? idk maybe ive just been looking at it too long i couldnt tell you LOL. so let me know if you guys like it or not. anyways!! i'll stop yapping now. i hope you guys enjoyyyy, like and reblog if you do! as always much love <3

happy reading <3

The morning sun comes through the window, peeking through everglow slightly illuminating the room, casting a light glow over the walls and a sleeping quinn. Quinns body lays partially over mine, our legs intertwined together. his face nuzzled into my neck, soft snores leave his mouth as he sleeps soundly against me.

There weren't many days where I'd wake up before Quinn, his schedule keeping and waking him up at the early hours of the day. Ever since the hockey season ended in a heartbreaking loss in the playoffs, he'd been sleeping more, getting the much deserved rest he’s needed. Quinn wanted away from hockey, from Vancouver, so he decided heading to the lake house earlier than usual to get away from everyone would be the fix. 

Which leads us to the position we're in now, my hands moving slowly up and down his back as he still sleeps soundly against me. Quinn always looks the most peaceful when he’s sleeping, so at peace and calm.

I feel quinns body shift slightly besides me, feeling him roll away from me, my body already feeling cold without his warmth beside me. I sit up in the bed, watching Quinn stretch and yawn himself awake, rubbing his eyes like a little kid before he turns to me with a soft smile on his face.

“Good morning” he says, his voice thick with sleep. 

“Good morning handsome” I smile back “sleep well?” 

“Mhm” he mumbles out as he makes his way to me from across the bed, grabbing my thighs pulling me on top of him. 

“Hi” i giggle from above him 

“Hi baby” he grins at me, his hands finding my neck pulling me down into a sweet kiss. My hands lay flat against his chest as I melt into the kiss. After a few moments I pull away to catch my breath, and to get a better look at him. The glow of the sun now being at its brightest, covering most of the room. Highlighting Quinn's body, his golden brown locks and blue eyes shining brightly in the glow. 

“You look so pretty” I say, as I bring my hands to his cheeks, running my fingers over his jaw, over every scar. Tracing and taking in everything part of him, memorizing every line like I've never seen them before. Quinn blushes at my complement, nuzzling his face into my hand, a smile breaking through on his features as he does so.

“Thank you baby” he says, bringing his head back to lay against the pillow looking back at me. “What do you want to do today?” his hands running across my bare thighs, his touch spreading warmth throughout my body. 

“Could we go on the boat?” i ask

“Is that what you want to do?” he asks me again.

“Mhm, yes. I even brought a new book to read to you, just for this, " I say with a smile.

 Quinn loves when i read to him, the peaceful feeling of being on the boat, the waves flowing beneath would be the perfect setting. 

“Alright you've convinced me, maybe we could even have lunch on the boat too? If you're up for that?” 

“That's fine with me, just want to be around you” I say before dropping my head into his neck, breathing in his scent, his arms circling around my waist pulling my body flush against his. 

“Okay baby” he says into my hair

 “Okay come on, let's get up. '' I said, lifting myself from him, patting his chest before swinging my legs off of him getting out of bed.

“I'm cominggggg” Quinn says from the bed, as I make my way to the bathroom, turning back around to see him lying face down in the middle of the bed, his arms and legs fanning out across the bed. 

Giggles rip through my body as I look at his childlike state, shaking my head as I take another glance at him before turning around heading to the bathroom to start getting ready for my day.

Taking a quick shower, throwing on a random swimsuit, before heading down stairs to start making lunch for myself and Quinn to take on the boat. 

Deciding on sandwiches and chips, with some fruit would be the best option for lunch. Just as I'm packing everything up I see Quinn coming down the stairs, in a pair of black swim trunks and a Canucks shirt. 

'What did you pack for lunch?’ he asks, pressing a kiss to the side of my head, walking behind me to the fridge to grab bottles of water before turning back the counter, putting the bottles of water in the cooler.

“Sandwiches, chips and fruit, is that okay with you?” I say as I place the food into the cooler along with the water, closing the top before looking up at quinn. 

“Yeah that's fine with me baby, perfect” he says leaning in for a quick kiss

“Do you have everything you need?” he says while grabbing the cooler from the counter walking towards the back door

“Yes I think so, let me go grab my bag from the couch then I'm ready” I say smiling at him, making my way to the living room grabbing my bag that has my book, sunglasses and other things in it, pulling it over my shoulder before following Quinn out the back door.

Following him down the dock towards the boat, reaching the boat, Quinn got on first placing the cooler down before turning around offering me his hand, helping me step on the boat. 

Walking over, placing my things on one of the seats, turning around, taking a look at the lake, the site never fails to take my breath away. I feel Quinn's arms circle my waist, pulling my body against his. 

“Where do you wanna go today?” he asks me, his chin resting on my shoulder as he looks out at the lake. 

“Doesn't matter me” i say turning around wrapping my arms around his neck, “take us where the wind takes you” 

“That was so corny” he laughs 

“Yeah it sounded better in my head..” i say laughing along with him

“It was still cute” he says, giving a kiss to my forehead, turning around making his way to the dock, untying the boat from the dock. 

“Okay ma'am we’re about to take off, all passengers please remain in your seats” he says with a smile spreading along his features. 

“Yes caption” I say, saluting him, taking a seat on the boat.

Making his way to the cockpit sitting down, turning on the boat before taking off along the water, the wind blowing in my hair as we ride across the lake

The boat rocks gently to the calm waves that run through the lake, Quinn docking the boat, now at a standstill in the middle of the lake. The bright summer sun beating on our skin, the warmth casting over my body as I grab my book, before settling back in my seat. Moving a pillow to rest under my neck and part of my upper back, laying down to rest myself against it, pulling my knees up, so i can rest my book on my thighs opening it book, i begin reading,

The romance novel pulls me into an alternate reality so deep that  I forget that I'm even on the boat with Quinn until his voice breaks through the silence. 

“I missed it out here” he says his eyes looking around the lake taking in it like it's his first time seeing it, “i forgot how peaceful it is out here” he continues.

“ It's so peaceful out here, it's nice to see you so relaxed” I say to Quinn, looking at him above the pages of my book.

“I thought you were supposed to read to me baby?” he asks

“Come over here” I say with a smile, opening my legs so he can rest in between them. his footsteps padding across the boat, as he lays himself between my legs, his warm skin laying against mine, his arms circling around my waist as he pulls himself closer to me. 

“Comfortable?” I say looking down at him, his head resting against my stomach, Quinn shaking his head up and down in response. 

“Good. okay, now where was I?” my eyes searched for where I left off on my page, finding my spot again, taking a deep breath before I began reading. My eyes glance down every few minutes to see if Quinn is asleep or not, occasionally feeling his fingers trace down my sides, as I continue to read to him. Just as I'm getting to an interesting part in my chapter, I feel Quinn's body move lower against mine, not thinking anything of his movement. I continue reading. 

Pausing to take a deep breath before reading the next line, I feel a warm kiss being placed right below my belly button, causing me to stop reading, lifting the book up, looking down at Quinn whose face is right in front of my covered core, his eyes locked with mine. 

“What are you doing?” I ask slightly confused at his actions

“Nothing, just wanted to lay down here, keep reading for me baby” 

“Okay” I say before licking my lips, picking up on the unread line. 

I don't even make it through half the page before I feel Quinn pressing more kisses across my lower stomach, kissing all along the top of my bottoms. His fingers sliding under the ties on the slides pulling down slightly, rubbing his fingers along the skin under. 

Clearing my throat before starting again, my brain struggling to register the words I'm reading, all of my focus on the man between my legs. My brain goes completely to mush, when I feel quinn pressed kisses against my covered core, my breath immediately hitching at the sudden touch. 

“Quinn, i'm trying to read '' my eyes locking with his, a small smirk dances along his face. 

“No ones stopping you from reading baby” he says, his fingers moving under the sides of my bottoms. 

His hands move to pull on one of the strings that hold the left side of my bottom together, pulling it apart with one tug, repeating the same action on the other side, his eyes still locked with mine. 

“Quinn '' my breath hitching, as he moved his thumbs under the now loosened fabric, peeling it back, exposing my bare cunt, the wind casting a slight breeze causing me to shutter when it hits my exposed center. 

“Quinn” I say again, my voice slightly higher than the previous attempt, trying to get his attention. 

“Yes?” 

“What are you doing? I thought you wanted me to read to you?” 

“I did, but now I want to hear that pretty mouth make some other noises,” he says, before grabbing the loosened bottoms from my body, throwing them somewhere on the boat. Grabbing the book out of my hands, closing it, throwing it in the same direction. 

“Quinn, are you serious, I was reading!” I am slightly annoyed but turned on at the sudden change of Quinn's intentions.

“Shhhhhh, lay back and let me have a taste” his eyes locked with mine as he began tracing random shapes on the insides of my thighs, his hand inching closer and closer to my exposed cunt. 

I couldn't help but comply with his words, his face inching closer and closer to my center, I felt his warm breath against my folds. His tongue darted out, licking a stripe down my center. My head falls back against the pillow, as he begins to lick at my folds. his hands pulling my thighs apart, gaining better access to my cunt. 

His tongue finds my clit as he begins to run his tongue along the bud, my jaw falling slack as my hands grab his hair, needing something to stabilize myself with. As he continues to lap up my clit, like a popsicle on a hot summer day. 

“Quinn, fuck” I moan out from above him, his movements never slowing running his tounge over every part of my cunt. The sound of him sucking up everybit of my wetness, is like music to my ears.

“Taste so good baby” he mutters against my cunt, before diving back in, his hands pulling my thighs further apart as he continues to devour my cunt. 

“Quinn don't stop please” my chest rising and falling quickly as I struggle to catch my breath. My body feels like it's on fire, not just from the heat of the sun on my skin but from the feeling of Quinn’s burning touch.

His tongue continues to thrust in and out of my weeping hole, my moans growing louder and louder as I feel myself getting closer to my peak. 

“Fuck look at you baby” pulling his face away from my cunt, bringing two of his fingers dragging them through my cunt, my wetness coating his fingers. 

“Look at that baby” he says now looking up at me, holding the two fingers in front of him, “do you wanna taste?” he asks me 

Nodding my head in a yes, Quinn brings his fingers to my mouth pushing my lips apart, shoving them into my mouth slowly. My tongue swirls around the digits, the taste of my cunt wrapping around each of my taste buds. 

My eyes are locked with Quinn’s as I continue to suck on his fingers, his eyes hooded with mine, blown with lust and he looks up at me. He slowly pulls the fingers out of my mouth, a string of saliva following them. Tracing his fingers down my stomach down to my core, before running them across my cunt, my body itching around nothing from the action. 

“Quinn” i whine

“What baby?” he says as continues to run his fingers along my cunt. 

“Do you want my fingers? Is that what you want?” 

“Yes fuck please” i whine again, my hands finding his hair again pulling it, hoping that, that will urge him along. 

“So needy baby” he says laughing against my cunt, placing a kiss to my slit before pushing two fingers into my cunt. 

My head dropping back instantly, my body feeling full, as he starts thrusting his fingers in and out. Broken moans are falling from my lips, my eyes closed as my body moves against his. Moving my hips to help meet his thrusts. 

“Right there right there” I moaned, my legs beginning to shake as I felt myself about to come. 

“Quinn” i whine out, as he attaches his mouth to my clit, rolling his tongue over it, as his fingers continue to fuck me. 

“Please dont stop fuck” lifting my head to look at quinn, the sight of him inbetween my legs, mouth wrapped around my clit, as i watch his fingers thrust in and out me, takes my breath away. 

Quinn's eyes looking up, locking them with mine, his movements never stilling. My hips continue to move against his, the burning feeling in the pit of my stomach continues to grow with every touch, thrust, everything setting my body a blaze. 

One last curl of his fingers sends me into a frenzy, my head dropping back against the pillow, my month agape but no words are coming out. My legs shaking as I come, my hands still in Quinn's hair pulling the locks so hard that it probably hurts. My vision clouds over as my orgasm takes over my body. 

I don't even realize Quinn's fingers have left my body, until I feel him pressing kisses along my neck. My eyes opened slowly, my chest still rising and falling, struggling to catch my breath and find my words. 

“Are you with me, pretty girl?” Quinn says, looking down at me, pushing hair that's fallen into my face back. 

“Yeah i think so” bringing my hands to his face, pulling him down into a kiss. 

“Did so good for me” he says once he pulls back, “always so good to me” he says peppering kisses all over my face. 

“I love you” i mumble to him

“I love you more” rubbing small circles on my sides, as he looks at me, a wide smile on his face. 

“Can you go grab my book?” I ask him with a small pout on my lips

“Oh im not done with you yet” quinn says with a smirk playing his face, before flipping us over, my hips now straddling his lap. 

“I think this is next to go” pulling at my top, undoing the strings in the back pulling it from my body tossing it somewhere in the boat, my top now completely bare to him. 

“Now where was i?” he says licking his lips, before crashing ours together. 

[the-s1lly-corner]

Sleepover w/ the digital circus cast

been a while since ive written this style of post for tadc, but im on my computer again so hopefully writing so much wont be too grating! reminder that i do not currently take requests for the entire cast in one post-

notes: reader is gn, not really romantic, written with the idea that everyone is having a sleepover in the main area of the circus

cws: bugs

caine

does not sleep but he wants to feel included, hes the one providing the games and activities for the night, as well as bedding for everyone to use

pretends to sleep, probably totally incapable of sleeping unlike the circus members... fake snores to try to sell it and make it convincing but all it does is it keeps everyone else awake

the games mentioned are usually an exaggerated and insane version of them- truth or dare but if you lie or refuse a dare you were given you get locked in the cellar/j

oh he definitely would try to get some juicy conversation with you or another circus member- god forbid you show some small sign that youre crushing on someone, hes not going to leave you alone

even worse if he finds out you actually do and who it is

his version of spin the bottle might get a little insane, knowing him.. definitely rigs it lands on whoever you like

pomni

not very interested, but if this takes place post episode 2 shes more inclined to join everyone for the night to get to know everyone better

if you two have grown close she sticks with you during the insane games caine has set out

completely opts out of any games that look way too intense but she probably gets roped into it by some of the others- or simply being swept into the chaos

sleeps off to the corner a bit away from everyone else so she can at least try to get a good nights sleep

if SOMEONE (jax, or even caine) gets too overwhelming or annoying she just gets up and goes to her room... you might be able to coax her back out

ragatha

as mentioned in jax's section, she offers to let you lay next to her if jax is bothering you

if you ask her, she does your hair before you go to bed. brushing through it and if its long enough she ties/braids it up for you

if you have a sleep set- unlikely given that they cant take their clothes off but we can pretend caine snapped his fingers and changed everyones clothing or something- she compliments how it looks.. if its cute or if it looks comfortable

if youre still awake and open to it she talks to you quietly when she cant sleep, its actually a nice change of pace against the chaos of when everyone else was awake

you dont talk about much, you just check in on each other and ramble about nothing in specific... keep it down or caine will come on over and try to insert himself

jax

hes the reason the cw is here, hes going to put bugs in your blankets if you guys arent sharing his room. if the two of you are in your room, or if you guys are in the common area hes going to do it.. or put something else thats unpleasant there..

thinks its funny, knowing him he might actually laugh a little off to the side as you thrash your sleeping bag around

snack hoarder, especially if theres candy- good luck trying to get more than a handful from him, hes not much of a sharer

tries to play everything off when someone offers to let you come lay down next to them for the night- likely ragatha

tells the most grotequse and horrifying stories before everyone else goes to sleep

"first person game mcs dont blink" is said as everyone is trying to unwind or something along those lines

kinger

has the softest and comfiest pillows and blankets, from his fort of course! likely sleeps in it rather than out and exposed on the floor with everyone else

makes it a little larger so you can crawl inside with him- its a lot calmer in here than anything thats happening out there

small talk, you both talk about your interests though due to kingers nature the conversation bounces around a lot

he doesnt participate in the games for the most part, especially if its after a high energy adventure... hes a little drained after the day- physically and mentally

sleeps with at least an arms length of space between the two of you unless you tell him youre comfortable with him being closer

dad snores

zooble

not very interested, probably stays in their room for most of the night if not the entire night

if theyre around when jax is telling scary stories they just roll their eyes... theyve heard worse

zooble being a horror/disturbing media fan headcanon my beloved, they probably try to one up him... though theyre not taking it very seriously. theyre not all that interested in winning, but jax is and hes going to get annoying

if they go out and interact with everyone else, theyll go to their room when theyre ready to sleep. they dont want to sleep on the floor in some sleeping bag.. offers to walk you to your room if the horror talk got to you

gangle

sits in her own corner doing her own thing, you can convince her to join in on the more tame games if you promise to stick with her

sticks around with you after that but like... lingering to the side, not really glued to your side because she doesnt want to invade your personal space or make you feel uncomfortable

very quiet if you offer to let her lay down next to her in the night

its a little less awkward if her comedy mask isnt broken but knowing how fragile it is, its unlikely

refuses to participate in any games like 2 truths 1 lie or truth or dare- she just knows jax is going to hang whatever she says over her head even if hes not the one asking her questions

[waynewifey]

aftermath — b.w

part one - ‘dear mr. wayne’

part two - ‘aftermath’

part three. - ‘aporia’

summary: you escaped that warehouse, but part of you died in there. now, your husband helps you grief your own loss while trying to not murder your relationship.

pairing: bruce wayne/battinson x reader

genre: drama & angst romance

warnings: mentions of sex and alcohol; mentions of ptsd, anxiety and it’s symptoms; hospital setting; dubious science; dubious law enforcement

word count: 2.9k

A/N: thank you for all the positive feedback on part 1! there will be a part three because this post would get too long, so let me know if you’ll like to be tagged in that. my biggest challenge writing this was trying to give bruce the start of a redemption arc, please tell me if you think it worked. comments and constructive criticism is appreciated!

gotham, USA.

the continuous beeping sound wakes you up.

your eyes are still closed, blocking the intense light over your head. your senses are taken by the familiar scent: sandalwood, cinnamon and lemongrass soap. it almost feels like you're home.

but your feet are senseless from the cold and the bedsheets faintly smell like chlorine. there's a pinching ache in your arm and the scenario is complete. oh how you hate hospitals.

"how are you feeling?" back at home, bruce had learned the difference in your breathing as you woke up, which made pretending to sleep hard enough for you to give up. you open your eyes, finding yourself in a luxurious room. if it wasn't for the IV on your left side, it could easily be mistaken for a five star hotel.

bruce sat at a large light green armchair, about four feet from your left hand. you couldn't tell by his voice, but he looked exhausted. for once, he's wearing sweatpants. the puffy face and swollen eyes show he hasn't had much sleep. you, on the other hand, feel like you've slept for a thousand years.

"i have no idea. what's up with me?" his sigh has your heart racing and the fear of being a liability falls over you. a comforting hand lays on yours, his warms fingers grounding you to remember the last time you were awake. it felt like a nightmare and you desperately hoped it was. instead, the pain comes in flashes, the image of your husband being shot and the feeling of hitting ice cold water do too. it's all just so horrible you wish it wasn't real.

"they told me you were going to be fine, but i don't know." bruce feels as if a burden has come off his chest finally seeing you move. the last couple of days have been a torture of expectation and blame for him. "the doctor had you in an induced coma. you had a concussion on the river. your stomach was stitched up. he said..." he stops for a moment, this is obviously way too hard for him to go through again. bruce hasn't left the room ever since he was discharged. everyday, for two weeks, he kept overthinking the night before and the day during. if he had stayed up and talked about your relationship, you wouldn't be in that bed. if he looked for you in the morning, if he noticed your absence at work, if he hadn't put his phone on silent mode... there were a million of things that he could've done different so the most important person in his world wouldn't have gone through all of that. "he said the ptsd would worsen your recovery. this morning the nurses told me you were better, so i have to believe them. that's my only hope."

you need a moment to take in the words, finally deciding that you didn't want to discuss your health. there were way better people to pay attention to that in the building and it would only make you anxious. you can't help but stare at his eyes, your mind bringing up the image of your husband choking the man that kept you hostage.

"you almost killed him." the tone is of disapproval, bruce couldn't be any more confused. he frowns. bile arises from his stomach leaving a acid taste to his mouth.

"i would've, of course i would. y/n, you had no idea what i would do for you. i would fight the devil himself if it meant keeping you safe. that's why i do what i do. the batman, the politics, it's all for you. if i can make this world 1% better for you, for our children, to live on, it's worth it." his gulp is loud, adam's apple going up and down, showing how dry his throat was. the following words have his voice shaking, almost disappearing. "but fate keeps telling me that i'm not enough. no matter what i do, you keep getting hurt and i just-" bruce stares the floor. that's something he always did when saying harsh things, avoiding eye contact and not letting tears slip away. however, this time it doesn't work at all. he can hear his heart tearing up with every syllable, the physical pain striking his chest. he wants to beg you to forgive him, but there is a noble thing to do. his words are cut off by the creaking of the door and the doctor's footsteps. he's smiling, like this isn't hell. bruce shrinks into the couch, making himself ignorable.

"so... i have good news!" the blonde says, clipboard in hand. "we need to run some other tests and an x-ray, but you seem to be healing pretty well. we'll hold you in for a couple of days just to make sure there aren't any complications with your body and then you can go home. how are you feeling so far?"

you're surprised by the sudden change in the conversation and your brain needs a moment to think about something helpful. you do a body scan trying to identify any pain, but overall you feel good.

"hungry. like, starving." the doctor smiles, saying he'll get you a meal as soon as possible. he warns you that you may not be able to eat much just yet, something about your stomach shrinking. you nod, already feeling irritated by the recovery process. then he leaves and there's a loud silence until you get back on the previous topic.

"you just what?" you expect bruce to sit correctly again, but he doesn't. he looks so small in the shadows, so comfortable. you really don't want to talk about that anymore, but curiosity takes over. he doesn't respond immediately, so your heart pounds over the anxiety of hearing bad news. suddenly you feel so tired, you want him to take over all the decisions like he usually does. today, though, he seems open to suggestions, like his own ideas weren't suitable. how could you know someone so well but still have no idea what's on his mind?

"i think maybe you shouldn't be associated with me. any part of me." the world stops with your breathing. bruce wishes he could take it back. going over this conversation in his head made it seem easier to say out loud. you've been married for three years. you knew his ambitions for even longer. you chose this life and he has no right to take that from you. still, the ring on your finger weighs you down.

— DENIAL

you've learned to appreciate the winter winds. at the top of the wayne tower there were barely any, but tonight they caress your face with the gift of numbness. breathing in is both refreshing and painful. the scratched teacup warms your fingers, a small memoir from your childhood home, from times that won't ever come back. you used to be down there, frightened by dark alleys and gunshots. now you're on top of the world and nothing, not even that psychopath, can take that from you. you did relearn discomfort. ache. cold. it all made you appreciate life even more. in fact, the month that followed your hospital discharge was pure bliss. something about renewal, about rebirth.

bruce watched you from the living room, the wrinkled glass distorting your silhouette in the balcony. that was a good representation of how he currently saw you, slightly blurred and shaken. his cup would usually hold whiskey, neat, but it holds coffee instead. you keep saying you're fine and waking up screaming in the middle of the night. then he would hold you and you would be actually fine. so now he's staying awake through the night, sleeping three or four hours during the day while alfred takes care of you. of course they don't let you know, because you've denied every explicit help. as you get ready to sleep, bruce gets ready to stay in bed through the night, alone with his thoughts. part of him was scared to sleep. he was sleeping when you were taken, there's no way he would let that happen again.

it has been almost a year since he stopped patrolling the city. the news cover murders and robberies every day. alfred makes sure to come up with something for both bruce and you to do at those hours. he's taken a pause in promoting his candidacy, he couldn't handle the public eye for now. still, the marketing team insists that your kidnapping was good media, even though he never officially spoke on it. they publish notes about being away, about taking care of family. he can't see how that could be good in any way.

you open the glass doors, flashing your husband a sweet smile. you're in a red silk robe and your hair is still perfectly done. perfectionism was one of the side effects, as one may call it, of the trauma. you visited a psychiatrist about a month ago, since bruce insisted on it, and he marked all of the habits that made you happy as unhealthy. you never told bruce what was said in that appointment in hopes that he'll get over it. him treating you like a porcelain doll made you nauseous.

"ready for bed?" you ask, standing behind the couch and hugging his shoulders. you breathe in his scent, remembering the day you met. you were an executive in an overseas wayne enterprises headquarters that had just gotten transferred to gotham. they offered you six figures to take the second in command position, so you obviously got to know the first in command. in the beginning, you honestly thought he was an entitled brat that didn't work at all. overtime, you realised how much he cared about the company and how much he was pining over you. you gave him an opening and he asked you out. six months into the relationship, he told you about batman. he knew, somehow, that you would be forever.

he sets in bed while you're touching up in the bathroom. the night had to be perfect. you've hadn't made love ever since the fight and ovulation week had gotten you a little crazy. you check yourself in the mirror, thanking the hormones making you sexy. you crawl into his side, slower than needed, hair falling over the shoulder. "hi" you whisper, sitting diagonally from him and cuddling a bit. he says hi back, with a chuckle. you give him a little peck, which is all you've been doing for all of this time. he stays still, not pulling back but also not doing anything either. you try to take it as a good sign. your lips then reach his jawline and neck, leaving wet kisses all over his skin. your hands touch his shirt and go underneath it, tracing your fingers along his defined abdomen. a hand holds your arm, pushing you away. your smile fades and you frown your face to him.

"touch me, bruce" you not so much ask, it's more like a plead. he sighs, channelling all his will to stick with his decision. he puts a string of your hair behind your ear and you think he's going to properly kiss you.

"i don't think we should do this. you're not well enough yet." he doesn't sound so certain, but it hits you like a hard brick wall. this is harder for him than he lets it show, he's a man after all. even so, he can't see you like that for the moment. he sees you scattered and feels like it's his responsibility to assemble you again.

"i'm perfectly fine." you state like a grumpy proud child who's just lost a soccer tournament. he sees right through it.

"you're not, you're in denial." that simple word makes your mood swing: denial. it's the same thing the stupid psychiatrist told you. you can even hear his smoker's voice echoing in the office. it isn't true. you got over it, that's all. maybe some people take more time to do so, but you did just like that. you had a life to get back to.

you get off the bed and pull your robe tight again. "i'm sleeping in the guest room. good night." he doesn't follow and lets you be. in all honesty, he didn't know if he would have the strength to turn you down a second time.

bruce tries to fight the tiredness. even with caffeine running high in his blood system, he falls asleep for a while. the guest room is far enough that he doesn't hear the muffled sobbing. he wakes up not so long after with screaming. his heart races as he runs down the stairs, following the sound of your voice. his mind starts thinking the worst, but he finds you only having nightmares. he crawls in bed with you, without being kicked off. he lets you lay on his chest, one arm over your shoulder. his body warms yours up and you finally stop spasming. it doesn't take too long for both to fall asleep.

— ANGER

the penthouse is quiet. the winter is almost at it's end, so the pre-spring rays lighten the living room bringing warmness to your solitude. you sit uncomfortably, unknown to this feeling of absence. you don't feel him in the tower.

bruce said there was a non deniable meeting with his press team, because eventually he would have to go back to promoting his election, which would take place in the fall. you acted unbothered. yet, he's barely been gone for an hour and you can already feel the anxiety crippling. you only left the apartment for doctors appointment, still too scared to walk on the streets. and he was always there, too, holding your hand. so this is different.

alfred is downstairs upgrading the batman suit with a new technology he created. he invited you, but the darkness of the cave was definitely unrequited. that's how you end up lounging, in silence, staring at window. finally, you decide to try to watch something. you shouldn't really do that, because something could trigger a panic attack. but you're fine, you really are. enough with this nonsense.

shuffling through the channels, nothing gets your attention until there's a juridical show on. the judge is talking to the prosecutor, apparently, announcing the next witness to testify. the camera angle changes to the courtroom and expectant eyes turn to the wooden door. it opens slowly to reveal a knight in dark armour. you hold your breath. the jury buzzes and the room gets loud. heavy steps make his cape swing behind him, as he makes his way to the stand.

bruce had to make a tough decision. while you and him had been cleared from the trial, you with the psychiatrist report on PTSD and him with the marriage, the lawyers mentioned that the batman's testimony could be decisive for the accused to be found guilty by the jury. the public respected him. either they loved or feared him. so, even though he's never made such a public appearance, less even speaking, he had to go to that trial. he owed it to you. but you could never know. he didn't want to spark your interest in the case, you shouldn't have to go through it again. he lays his hand on the constitution and swears on it.

it doesn't feel real until you hear the judge.

"members of the jury, i present to you the batman."

it feels like a dagger has gone through your chest. there's a mix of feelings that have you almost throwing up. you feel like screaming and crying and blowing the fucking world up. how could he do that to you? that was your case, your life. you stand up only to find your legs trembling. you want to run there and testify. you want to tell the world the horrors you've been through and show them, including your husband, that you had overcome it. he was calling you weak right in you face and you couldn't bear the feeling of being chained up again. you're stuck in this hell of a tower like some futile damsel.

you stomp your way to the elevator, your mind set on leaving the building. but your heart stops you in your tracks pounding and almost vomiting itself out; you feel your toes numb and your legs can't stop shaking. the baritone voice still sounds in the apartment. you run to it and scream at the TV. you throw a pillow on it. that doesn't cool you down. your body is in motion while all you can see is red. you knock the coffee table down, shattering the glass and scattering like ashes the books that were on it on the floor. the noise still doesn't muffle his voice and you can't find the fucking remote control. you stumble across the room, throwing lamps and vases around. everything is falling down, in every sense. you grab a candle and let out a scream when you hit the TV with it, the screen going black and the noise finally ceasing.

alfred finds the room trashed, with you kneeling on the broken glass. there's blood on the floor. your body trembles with every sob. he cautiously steps towards you. you feel out of breath, tears burning your eyes. he holds you like a mother does.

"i'm sorry- i'm so sorry," he shakes his head, saying it doesn't matter. you wanna say it does, but there's simply nothing leaving your mouth apart from "i'm so sorry"

part three - aporia

[fivewholeminutes]

I apologize if this comes across as rude but im really interested to know what sleep token twitter yall stumbled upon...? because im there as much as i am on here and ive literally seen people openly drop names in the main tag here, while on twitter you can have a private accound and.... ive only seen past projects discussed there? not even pictures or names (at least from the ones i follow) Unless what youre talking about is older st tweets from their account, then yes, some assholes with like 0 followers did drop Vessels name a couple times from what ive seen, but i have yet to see a name drop or something simmilar by someone who has more than a fart for a follower (meaning it doesnt show up on the tl if they post, and if its in someones replies the poster can hide it) I feel like the problem with it is the same as its on here, ocassional name or face drop that cant really be stopped, and its always from someone who, like i said, probably has 0 followers and made that throwaway to fuck with people. As unfortunate as it is. Again, sorry if it came across as rude, but like... no need to ward people off twitter for no reason lol, its pretty welcoming there as somene whos been in the fandom since 2022 🤷‍♀️

Hey anon, you're not rude at all, dw!

The aversion to sttw is a common thing here on tumblr, trust me. I'm glad to hear you managed to have a good twitter experience, cause damn. That is a gem. I'll tell you my personal experience with twitter. It's all from around spring-summer 2023, more or less.

I wasn't an active member of the st community there, i was only lurking, mostly in the search tab. Looking for words "sleep token" for the very first time made me reluctant to be a part of that community in the first few seconds of my search lmao. That venture into the search tab happened on a day the band was literally a few minutes from starting their set on one of the festivals. Some users were discussing the band being 30 min late, which is a completely normal thing, especially during festivals, when the scene is not free for a whole day for the band to set up their stuff. Those users were complaining that vessel most likely is getting drunk before the set, or is too drunk to get on the stage and this is totally why the band is late. Not accepting any other explanations. Many others were agreeing with them, joking about it and so on. 30 min is really nothing. The starting times for any concert of festival are almost never the actual times the sets begin.

Apart from that, my searches usually had a "true" metal fan revealing their names every 10 posts or straight up showing me cryptocurrency posts, just because they had the word "token" in it. That was tiring. Again, that two aspects are not really sttw community's fault, but they made my experience worse.

And hey, maybe if i started following a few people and kept my sttw experience only to them, it would be better. We'll never know now tho and frankly. I couldn't find anyone who would post there stuff i was interested in enough to follow.

The assholes with 0 followers were commenting on random sttw people's posts too, resulting in no post being safe from seeing their names. The boom after the band became popular bc of the summoning blowing up was luring those bastards in like moths to a lamp fr. Every time i tried to look for some cool st-related stuff i was stumbling upon a dozen of those people.

And then. I remember a drama where more "popular" sttw accounts started to have a war with some other account about god knows what. Don't remember the details, but like. The attacked account dared to comment on something the more "popular" accounts said and then that account and all their friends and minions started a bullying campaign against that one person. That was very distasteful for me. Especially that it wasn't something bad, they just didn't agree with the "popular" account about something.

So, sttw was always kind of a clique that would send hounds after you if you weren't thinking exactly like them. I think that drama ended up with the "popular" account being driven away from twitter, because people started standing up to them and a lot of nasty stuff they were saying about other people was revealed. Man, it was almost 2 years ago, i don't remember the details well. But in general, when fandoms have "popular" accounts/blogs that are worshipped almost as much as the actual thing the fandom is about, nothing good comes from that, ever.

Then there was a drama about one user who was claiming they're iv girlfriend. With some personal photos of iv being sent to that person's friends and stuff. Another red flag for me.

I left twitter shortly after, due to whatever the musk rat was doing with it, not necessarily because of the st community.

Now i only hear about yet another stupid take or drama from there from my mutuals on tumblr who for some reason still have more patience for twitter than me.

The one about "uwu don't draw vessel with his scars, because we don't wanna see them but also bc uwu we care about him" was the latest spectacular fuck up on sttw's part. I won't go into detail about this one, i covered it before and i don't want to go back to that one, cause the "art should be comforting" stuff and treating vessel like he isn't a grown ass man still makes my blood boil.

There was also another drama recently that got talked about here on tumblr, but i forgot what it was about, oops.

So. That'smore or less why twitter community is being frowned upon here, anon. There is just Always Some Stupid Drama there.

[neko-artist-meow]

Well, its been a while, Ive been working on a story lately and I stumbled upon my previous work and decided to rewrite it because its a bit messy. Hope you like it. Thanks for reading.

-------------------------------------------------

Ever since Alice and her two best friends had their fateful encounter in the Forbidden Forest—stumbling upon Dark Wizards smuggling magical creatures to sell in the Dark Market—their lives had never been the same. That night, they had been forced into a life-threatening battle, one that ended with Alice suffering a severe injury. She had barely survived, left unconscious in the Hospital Wing for days.

Ivy and Daniel, weighed down by guilt, swore never to set foot in the Forest again. The memory of Alice fighting for her life while they stood helpless haunted them, a wound that refused to heal. Every day, they visited her, hoping for the moment she would wake, but each visit brought the same painful sight: Alice, still and unmoving.

Yet, despite their grief, there was one small mystery that never failed to catch their attention.

Every morning, without fail, a fresh bouquet of sunflowers sat on Alice’s bedside table, carefully arranged in a vase. They never saw who left them. The flowers appeared before the previous bouquet had the chance to wilt, as though someone had taken great care to ensure Alice was always surrounded by their golden hues. It reminded them of Alice—radiant, warm, and full of life. Yet now, as rain drummed against the castle windows, that light felt distant, obscured by the weight of uncertainty.

Unbeknownst to them, they were not the only ones visiting Alice.

Every evening, after Ivy and Daniel left, a certain someone would step into the Hospital Wing under the effects of an invisibility potion, waiting until the room was quiet. With careful hands, she would replace the flowers before the last ones had the chance to wither, ensuring that when Alice awoke, the first thing she saw would be something she loved.

Tonight was no different.

Cassandra Vole stood silently beside Alice’s bed, watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she sat down, folding her hands in her lap.

"You probably wonder why I always come to visit you," she murmured, knowing Alice couldn’t hear her. The room was quiet save for the pattering rain against the windows.

She had seen Alice sleeping countless times before—they were roommates, after all—but this time, it felt different. The stillness of it unnerved her. It reminded her too much of the moment she had woken up in this very place, only to find Alice at her side, rushing to greet her with a relieved smile.

Back then, Alice had tended to the rose Cassandra kept in the Green Houses, making sure it stayed healthy until she returned. Now, it was Cassandra’s turn.

A dry, humorless chuckle left her lips. "You can also say that I'm being suspicious for caring for your well being, then I'll just laugh at you too, like we did last time."

She laughed softly, but her voice wavered, and to her horror, she felt something sting at the corners of her eyes.

A part of her wanted to blame Ivy and Daniel for what had happened. If it weren’t for them, Alice wouldn’t have gotten hurt. The thought of it made her grip the bedsheets tightly.

"I wanted to hurt them for what they did to you," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I know you’d scold me for that. So, when you wake up, don’t expect me to treat your little friends any better."

Cassandra reached for Alice’s hand, intertwining their fingers. The warmth against her skin sent a shiver through her, and before she could stop herself, she brought Alice’s hand close to her lips, lingering for a moment. It was something Alice often did to her—brushing her knuckles with the softest kisses, always so effortlessly affectionate.

Her gaze drifted toward a small box of Honeydukes chocolates near Alice’s pillow, and her expression darkened.

Ivy.

Cassandra had heard Alice talk endlessly about how much Ivy loved visiting that shop. It had to be from her.

Her jaw tightened as jealousy flared in her chest. Without thinking, she snatched the box, gripping it so tightly that the packaging crumpled under her fingers before she tossed it carelessly into the bedside drawer.

"I still don’t have the slightest idea what you see in Ivy," she muttered bitterly. "I’m obviously better than her in every way."

She crossed her arms, scowling.

Ivy was always by Alice’s side, always dragging her into trouble. And Alice, in her infuriating kindness, always defended her.

If only I had allowed you to sit beside me on the train that day…

"She's clearly manipulating you to drag you into her troubles, yet you always take her side whenever we argue—like she's some kind of good girl."

If only back then she did, then it was her who was always on Alice's side, probably laughing with her on all her ridiculous stories and she would set them up on excursions with just the two of them.

It must've been her who got the chance to make Alice smile everyday, hold her hand and be close to her all the time.

The thought unsettled her and brought a question to herself because it sounded that she actually wanted more than just friendship.

Is there more to what she wanted?

Does she want Alice to treat her like how she treat her friend's or does she want to be more than just her friend?

Cassandra had a puzzled look on her eyes, then a burst of wind entered the room and swept some of Alice's hair on her face.

One slim hand carefully brushed a stray lock of the latter's soft hair away from her face, her fingers lingering a little too long.

A set of warm green emerald eyes focused on Alice's serene-looking face, truly a sight she'll definitely never grow tired of, then her eyes widened as she heard her heart beat loud.

A realization.

All her uncertainty vanished and was instantly replaced with the feeling of longing.

She finally understood.

All this time she was inlove.

"Truth be told... I was jealous."

A quiet truth that had been there all along, lurking beneath her pride and stubbornness.

"Im jealous that you look happier with her and that you have a lot of time to spend with her than with me, maybe its because I always pushed you away that you thought I hated you, but I never really did... You always brighten up my days that I often talk to my plants about you and they seemed to like you too."

Her voice softened.

"I always told you that you're ruining my solitude but in fact I was really happy when you always come to check up on me, I love how fast you rush to my aid whenever one of Hagrid's creatures come to ruin my beautiful garden, I love it when you bring me weird stuff's I dont know I actually needed but you noticed."

She smiled faintly at the thought.

"I love how you noticed all those little things and take care of those precious to me, even my cat."

"Lyncus is a bit grumpy to me lately and probably misses you too. So please get well as soon as possible..I just cant bear to see you here anymore and probably wish you'll never end up here again."

One hand cupping the soft cheeks of Alice, as she leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead—remembering how Alice had done it for her so many times before.

Her heart beated loud seeing the face of Alice closer that she could ever get, it made her cheeks turn red as her eyes wandered towards the latter's lips, her curiosity deepened with every second.

She wanted to taste the lips and be the first one to know how it feels, thinking how sweet it'll probably be.

The lips of Alice that only spouted all good things about her despite her wrong doings and even had the courage to scold her whenever its necessary.

She leaned in thinking nobody is ever going to find out and gently kissed Alice's lips with her own. Her lips trembled along with the warm feeling in her heart and with every move she made, she felt a different sense of fear for the first time.

The fear of being caught and the feeling of being rejected by Alice, nonetheless she was afraid because she knew she was inlove and fear was never her thing not until now.

She now holds something dear to her, more than her pride. As she slowly pulled away she reminisce the feeling and stored it in her precious memories.

She remembered their Tessomancy Project at Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop and the second reading that Alice did for her.

Now the tessomancy was no more a mystery and is finally clear to her, it was Alice she was inloved all along, her exact polar opposite, and someone she never expected to get along with. Although at that moment, it was actually Alice who first appeared on her mind but she was confused at that time.

"You are the one being told at the Tessomancy."

"It was always you..Im inlove with you, Alice Vayne."

Carefully, she climbed onto the bed, curling up beside Alice just as they did in their dorm on cold nights. One arm draped over Alice’s body as she nuzzled against the crook of her neck, closing her eyes.

It was raining hard outside the castle but she never felt so comfortable and warm just being beside Alice.

The feeling that Alice gave her was always enough to remind herself that she was also partly human and not just some part Veela and a Student who needs to meet up expectations and be charming most of the time.

She didn’t need to be flawless with her.

She didn’t need to meet expectations.

If for herself she was perfect, to Alice she was also flawed like the others.

For her flaw was an ugly thing, to Alice it was the most beautiful thing that makes someone human, and she made her see it the same way as she does.

It made her feel wonderful knowing that she can still be beautiful despite being flawed.

She remembered how Alice told her that she remind her of a rose, someone a bit thorny but beautiful.

"I wish I could be your rose, your only rose."

she said as she gently trace Alice's lips.

Fifty minutes have passed, Madam Pomfrey finally stood up from her desk just behind the curtain near Alice's bed. It was the time she routinely check on the students health, and before it was Alice's turn Cassandra had finally left like a thief of the night.

After Madam Pomfrey checked on all Alice' s wounds and applied the necessary treatment.

"Young love - and very unexpected one indeed." she said with a teasing smile.

Unbeknownst to Cassandra who was sneaking to visit Alice using an invisibility potion, Madam Pomfrey is actually immune to the effects of invisibility potion the main reason why she decided to become a nurse to prevent her patient's from escaping treatment.

"I think its probably best not to let your friends know, especially Miss Vole that you are already awake eversince this morning, do you agree Miss Vayne?"

"Yes, I think so too." Alice replied with her cheeks blushing mad and heart beating as loud as it should.

"After all, you still have to get completely healed because that sweet confession of Miss Vole surely does deserve a proper response." she said teasingly.

"It sure does, yeah.." she breathed heavily trying to calm herself "Is it common for students waking up from the Hospital Wing and have a relationship the next day Madam Pomfrey?" her smile was like a sudden beam of sunlight that could light up even the darkest corners of the room.

"Yes very common indeed." she replied smiling genuinely.

Alice gazed upon the fresh set of sunflowers on her bedside table as it was indeed her favorite, because it reminded her of the day she saw Cassandra in the fields of sunflowers, taking her Venomous tentacula for a stroll and talk sweetly to it like it was human.

The same day that she fell inlove with the person bullying her friends and admired her golden hair that shine like sunflower petals.

"I love her too."

[kinki-cami]

Its been like what a solid month or two since we actually went out into space and the first week was just like mini training and "get used to your new environment bucko" so yeah we did fuck all during that first week

However now that we're actually in space nothing much has been really goin on. I'm mainly assigned scout duty, to sorta make sure nothing snuck aboard, which gives me ample time to trace out my path from my room to the nearest escape pods. Theres roughly four sets of two on this ship, no where NEAR enough for everyone, even if we triple up, so its clear that this is a "if you come back empty handed we're leaving you in space" type situation, so I'm glad my plans include "find a neutral party thats not affini faction nor human faction" and i hope they have a like little terraformed area too bc i could NOT last on a ship my whole life

Anyway writing here for no particular reason. I dont understand why people call the plant peoples 'weeds'. First off, arent weeds a good thing? Like theyre a sign of nature growing back, unless they mean the weed that gets you high, in which case, dont most people WANT that? I dont say it tho it at the very least FEELS rude, at least in the way i hear people saying it. Isnt the number one rule treat others how you want to be treated? Actually heres a better one: vine. Vines grow and suffocate trees sometimes, so that would be a better one (shit ok cant say that either to them. Both of those goin on my list of things to not say bc i dont know how rude it is)

Anyway i know i start with anyway a lot but i switch up or go back several catergories in my thoughts a lot so. I really dont like calling anyone mean things, or even violence really, especially unnecessary violence. I can say the word bitch or cunt but i will NEVER call someone a bitch or a cunt, it feels very mean and i really dont like being mean, i mean why burn bridges when you can barely make bridges to begin with? Oh speaking of making bridges, i think ive already started to annoy my crewmates, so i just sorta sort cards in my free time, im barely eating tho bc the food is very very yucky. I eat just enough to keep my blood sugar up, its overall pretty miserable, a bit worse than living at home, so im on the edge near constantly. Some nights, tho i stay up (cashing in my bad luck) and hear a lot of creaking. Its probably just normal ass noises of, yknow wear, but yknow altho i see the best in others i tend to see the worst possible situation, and you never know when youll be needed so some nights i dont sleep. If this ship was ever captured by the affini tho, i wonder if it would be like star trek or star wars or something where its like a tractor beam that pulls us in. That would be cool.

Enough rambling tho i think thats it for this diary entry, lets hope the affini dont even spot us. (Scary if they do) yknow what ill say what ill do if i do get captured next entry, keep myself on my toes, run that imagination

[alienaiver]

Behind the scenes

the lovely @dira333 tagged me in this and its sooo fun!! the questions are so amazing and id like to give it my best with some in depth answers, since learning these facts about one of my favorite writers here was so fun !!!!! behind the scenes of writing is so good to share!!

Started writing: i think ive always been writing. i remember when we used to have one computer for the entire family in the early 00's and had little screentime, i set alarms to 4-5am (with no concept of what that Would Do To Me emotionally without sleep LMAO) JUST to get some time to write in peace. my first fanfictions i published was on a homemade forum page with a friend when i was 11!

Started blogging: ive had my tumblr since 2009-ish where ive been a rp'er over multiple times and published d gray man and no. 6 fanfictions in 2011-12ish. i was also active on livejournal before i found fanfiction.net !! but this specific blog was made in may 2021!!! the reader inserts came then :3

Followers: i actually JUST hit 300 two days ago!!! which is very exciting. i dont always look at the number, since it doesnt necessarily correlate with engangement, but its fun to see the uptick!!

Communication: i genuinely love love LOVE the social part of social media, and communications so important to me. theres nothing better than reblogs with comments you can bounce off of, asks, dm's and all that! sadly, my disability makes it so hard for me to have continuous contact and im 90% of the time the one to drop the ball when it comes to replying :(( thats why its extra important to me/special with the mutuals who keeps reaching out and dont have the same social expectations about replying. even if im unable to reply the day that i receive the message, it still brings great joy seeing the notif!

Likes: i dont mind them! generally its not that important to me whether or not my followers interact a lot. a like still means the world to me. of course a reblog is much better and engages so much more (+ boosts me!!), but theyre good for my soul, too!

Requests: i get very few requests :( i think i like them, but i havent gotten enough to actually get a feel on whether or not it kills my writing spirit? generally i get very excited to be able to deliver something and it gets me up from the bed to write, but i sometimes fear im not providing what they wanted! its anxiety-inducing in some ways, but i love a good little writing challenge !!

Writing: i loove love love love writing for hours at a time, hyperfixating on it. sadly, my cat snøfle is Very Jealous of both my laptop and pc. giving him a substitution sadly doesnt help</3 so my writing is often limited to specific times of day, and when he gets tired of my keyboard clack-clack-clacking, its time to put on some one piece while he naps on me! i wish i could write more works or just scenes on my phone, but it hurts my hands So Much, so i only write small one shots when im heavily inspired but snøfles in A Mood!!

genre wise im a fluffy type. maybe some hurt/comfort but always leaning towards comfort. id like to write more disability fics to spread both awareness and visibility, but i sometimes struggle with putting in my own disabilities and not make them too personal or too detailed for others to not relate. its an overthinking problem, so i often procrastinate writing them., bcos i fear itll be too niche! but i always get positive feedback (excpet for that one time with inked coffee lmao) so im not sure whats holding me back!!!

i always listen to music when i write, and it differs a lot. when i wrote the star and the earth i listened to a lot of medieval-inspired music, and made a specific playlist for that. but when i write on my modern au's or canon compliant bnha/haikyuu, anything goes!

i love putting in 'boring' every day stuff into my fics, or small scenes that dont necessarily advance the plot but just gives a feel of the characters.

speaking of snøfle ^ i am no longer allowed to write for the evening.... so ill start some apothecary diaries and enjoy a cold soda on this hot and humid evening !!! mwuah mwuah if u read this far thank you, and i love you. i love all of you <3333

no pressure tags as always but would love to hear the answers and get to know u all! @cup-of-fluff @true-deru @mirandabarma @illuminiscentboba @tetsuskei @threadbaresweater @krystalgaia @petriquors @ktsumu @moonbeamwritings @ohtokki

[sweetsea1985]

Honestly i was a little worried if id get approved or not. I often feel very ashamed by my limitations bc i have like this internalized idea that if i *tried* hard enough id be rewarded by my efforts, not punished. So like the fact my body keeps betraying that expectation had made me think in a really backwards way that i didnt deserve help.

I can walk, ive been prescribed wheel chairs before but never got them bc idk how the durable medical device system works, but not only that my apartment nor life is set up to actually use a wheel chair. Plus i can walk fine, just not for a long time. A wheelchair would be nice in public but getting it in and out of the car along with my toddler would be an absolute nightmare and would eat up my spoons. Plus i cant use it for too long or itll cause heart failure.

I cant have removable bathroom aids even tho i.need them like a shower chair or lift seat specifically bc theyd be unsafe for my toddler.

Im barely out of the point where im sleeping 20+ hours a day. On sunday my phone told me im finally awake at least 14 hours a day, which is a huge improvement. I cant wash my dishes, clothes, or body in the same week. I can't vacuum, i can't scrub things, rhe most i can do is pick up stuff off the floor, but not evwn sweep or mop. My bathroom and kitchen are a mess, and the vast amount of my energy goes into keeping my kid tidy, clean, happy and fed.

Im finally making the mature decision to take my cats to the shelter. Im allergic to them, cant keep their area sanitized, i spent at least 3k in the past year and a half trying to set up a living space that works with them, but unfortunately theres two of them, and it just isnt going to work. They broke the enclosure, and the automatic litter box i bought them and i just cant afford to buy 60$ crystal litter for the machine they destroyed. I dont wanna give them up either but because buttercup broke the window, got outside and got worms i just literally cant handle it anymore. I had given them de worming medicine, but i can't clean their litterbox so im not even sure if it worked. They've been quarantined since then but the entire room needs to be sanitized w bleach at this point, and its not even a space I think can be cohabitated with them in there. I just can't take care of them, plus me, plus my kid. I think eventually id like something small like a hamster but honestly im probably not going to get another pet for years. I had got them both when i was in a better state physically and my health has significantly and recurrently gotten worse since.

My apartment is a mess, its super hard to keep clean, im constantly either in the hospital, at the doctor, having a medical emergency, or just physically unable to take care of my basic needs. But like i think why can everyonr else do these things except me? I should be able to stand up and talk without getting winded. I should be able to walk and talk without a migraine. I should be able to eat the same foods as everyone else, in the same room as everyone else, i should be able to play, exercise, enjoy life like everyone else. But i can't which is frustrating.

So i was thinking ah, theyll see that theres so much i can still do, and believe im not applying myself. Chronic fatigue, pain, migraines, hormonal issues, and a heart condition aside, theyll understand i should be like everyone else and judge me accordingly.

I guess im both glad that im not seen as attention seeking or faking it, but disappointed that im so young and my life is so very, very small compared to what i want.

[thetavolution]

20 TAV/OC QUESTIONS

More of these!

Please consider yourself tagged if you want to! Feel free to @ me so I can read them.

This time it's Sebastian (Ingrid's little brother, half-deep gnome and half-forest gnome wizard) and Viktor (tiefling paladin, oath of vengence). If artificer was available, Sebastian would have been that instead though.

This helped me get to know them better.

Sebastian

I. what do they smell like at their freshest? (and/or after a tenday. your choice)

He always smells like a forest and smokepowder, at least a little.

II. what would their blood taste like to vampires?

It'd be coffee. It'd just be straight black coffee with how much he ingests. He'll give a vampire the caffeine jitters.

III. how would they kiss their LI?

He adapts to his LI. He follows their lead on what they want. He's not good at knowing what he wants.

IV. how do they sleep with their LI (what position, does one steal the blankets, is one too hot/cold, etc)?

Dude can sleep anywhere. People joke about the weird positions he falls asleep in. It's no different when another person is added. He'll start the night up against them and then off the side of the bed by morning.

V. what does their tent area look like? where do they prefer to pitch their tent (next to water, covered on three sides, etc)?

He's a tinkerer. He has so many random parts and tools. He has things taken apart to see how they work, or he's trying to build his own. He's also an alchemist so there are a lot of ingredients. Most people fear stepping foot inside because what if something explodes in there?

VI. if they had a set of dnd dice, what would they look like?

It'd be forest green.

Photo from dnddice.com

VII. do they collect anything (gems, bottles, keys, etc)?

Does his artificer supplies count? He has so much of it. He also hordes smokepowder.

VIII. if either, are they part of the astarion/gale book club (magic & literature) or the wyll/shadowheart book club (trashy romance novels)?

Astarion/Gale, but he'd definitely get recommendations from Shadowheart and Wyll to give his sister, Ingrid.

IX. if they had to be put in a “get along shirt” with a companion, who would it be?

Astarion. Astarion's anti-gnome bullshittery would get under his skin. They eventually get along though.

X. do they prefer speak with dead or speak with animals?

Speak with animals. He's half-deep gnome and half-forest gnome, taking after his forest gnome side a bit more.

XI. what are their thoughts on clowns?

He doesn't care for them. They make him uncomfortable ever since the clowning incident of 1476.

XII. their companions are gossiping about them behind their back! who is it and what are they saying?

Back home, Ingrid and their family was gossiped about. Ingrid and Sebastian share a father, but have different mothers. The drama between them is common gossip back home. No matter where he is, his heritage is cause for gossip. There aren't a lot of half-forest half-deep gnomes running around.

The others gossip about how he could be a lawyer with how much he knows legalities of wherever they go. Astarion is impressed and jealous of how good he is at finding loopholes. They'd gossip about how and WHY he's so good at that. What crimes has he committed and justified? (This skill was inspired by Manager to Manager from Central Park.)

XIII. what makes them laugh? what does their laugh sound like?

He stifles his laugh a lot. It's very quiet chuckle as a result. It's hard to get a loud belly laugh out of him. He usually has to be drunk before he lets loose. He does have a good sense of humor though. He particularly loves puns and dad jokes.

XIV. do they have any inside jokes among their companions?

Karlach gets him to put his defenses down and he has a few inside jokes with her. He'd slowly start joking with the whole team eventually.

I am SO BAD at knowing what these jokes would be.

XV. what’s the description of their camp clothes in the inventory menu?

"These clothes smell like they've been rolling around in dirt and explosive powder."

XVI. what’s the description of their underwear in the inventory menu?

"Oh for the Gods' sake, does he have smokepowder on EVERYTHING he owns?"

XVII. how do they celebrate their birthday?

He never liked celebrating his birthday. His narcissistic mother would make the day about herself and what she wanted. Once he moved away, he really had no interest in engaging with it because of his bad memories. He'd only start to celebrate if someone eased him into it and made it about what he wants. He'd want something really low key.

XVIII. what modern day tv show would they binge over a weekend? do they get their LI to watch with them?

His list is more electic than his sister's but equally surprising. They would both watch From, What We Do In The Shadows, and ghost hunting shows together though.

Outside of that, he'd be watching House of the Dragon, Mythbusters, Fallout, and Yellowjackets. He'd also watch Love Island and The Great British Bake Off.

He'd never ask his LI to watch with him, but he'd feel warm and cozy if they offered. It'd make him happy.

XIX. do you have a playlist for your tav? if so, what’s the title + description?

I don't really do titles or descriptions. I just make the title their name and list the songs.

Failsafe — The Choir Practice

This Year — The Mountain Goats

Always Tired — Weathers

Money Issues — Chase Petra

Waving Through A Window — Ben Platt

Hate Myself — dodie

Save Me — Aimee Mann

Safe Travels (Don't Die) — Lisa Hannigan

Little Sister — Trixie Mattel (this song made me think of his relationship with his sister, Ingrid, even though she's older)

Crucify — Tori Amos

A Better Son/Daughter — Rilo Kiley

Narcissist — Avery Anna

feelings are fatal — mxmtoon

all the kids are depressed — Jeremy Zucker

My Ugly — Cloudfodder

Older Than I Am ��� Lennon Stella

Lemon Boy — Cavetown

Passenger Seat — Death Cab for Cutie

High On Life — Rasputina

I'm Still Standing — Elton John

XX. if you were to try pickpocketing them, what would they be carrying?

So much smokepowder. This man is a walking powder keg.

Viktor

I. what do they smell like at their freshest? (and/or after a tenday. your choice)

Rum and leather.

II. what would their blood taste like to vampires?

I'd say a spiced rum.

III. how would they kiss their LI?

He a bit emotionally stunted at the moment. His kisses begin reluctant. After his walls come down more, his kisses tend to be passionate, as if he's afraid his LI will disappear when he lets go.

I have no idea who he'd romance at this point. Barcus was the original goal, but I can also see him with Shadowheart and Wyll.

IV. how do they sleep with their LI (what position, does one steal the blankets, is one too hot/cold, etc)?

He's used to sleeping alone these days. He's always a bit warm so he's not likely to steal blankets. He's more likely to only be half-covered by them. As he grows more comfortable, he does become a cuddle bug.

V. what does their tent area look like? where do they prefer to pitch their tent (next to water, covered on three sides, etc)?

It's lacking as he doesn't carry a lot with him. He'd be a gunslinger if that were available in BG3 so he has paladin weapons or gunslinger weapons about. He has some clothing in there, but not much else. Can a gun paladin be a thing? They just show up to a sword fight with a gun.

VI. if they had a set of dnd dice, what would they look like?

It'd be red and black.

Image from Crystal Maggie.

VII. do they collect anything (gems, bottles, keys, etc)?

Not really. He doesn't like to have a lot of things on him. He hates owning things he doesn't need.

VIII. if either, are they part of the astarion/gale book club (magic & literature) or the wyll/shadowheart book club (trashy romance novels)?

Neither. He reads, but it'd be his own thing.

IX. if they had to be put in a “get along shirt” with a companion, who would it be?

Wyll. They ultimately have the same goals, but they argue so hard about how to reach them. The fact they're not that far off from each other's beliefs is why they have the worst fights.

X. do they prefer speak with dead or speak with animals?

While he does love animals, he'd say speak with the dead. He wants to give the dead a voice one last time.

XI. what are their thoughts on clowns?

He really doesn't care. While he doesn't want them to bother him, he doesn't feel strongly about them. He does avenge Dribbles because, well, he avenges all those wronged.

XII. their companions are gossiping about them behind their back! who is it and what are they saying?

He's the mysterious stranger with a dark past. Everyone would have opinions on what that dark past is and how much they should be worried about it. What has he done? What has he seen? What is the horrible sin that follows him like a shadow?

He won't open up about his past like the rest of the trauma piñatas at camp, so they gossip about it.

They'd gossip about his love life, too, regardless of who he romances.

XIII. what makes them laugh? what does their laugh sound like?

He doesn't laugh often. He might let out a little amused breath most of the time if someone does amuse him. He'll only laugh loudly and heartily once his walls are completely down with someone. He does enjoy light-hearted comedy and dark humor.

XIV. do they have any inside jokes among their companions?

He would be hesitant to try to joke around. He tries to keep people at arm's length, but they'd slowly creep in. He'd end up having the most inside jokes with Jaheira, Gale, and Shadowheart though.

XV. what’s the description of their camp clothes in the inventory menu?

"Well worn but not well loved, they're haphazardly mended after years of use."

XVI. what’s the description of their underwear in the inventory menu?

"At least he believes in getting new underwear regularly, unlike the rest of his clothing."

XVII. how do they celebrate their birthday?

He doesn't.

He'd only celebrate if someone else does something for him.

XVIII. what modern day tv show would they binge over a weekend? do they get their LI to watch with them?

He probably wouldn't watch a lot of TV. He's more of a reader. If you did get him to watch TV, he'd probably enjoy Baby Reindeer, Breaking Bad, and The Wire. If the right person introduced him to it, he'd also like White Lotus.

He'd only want his LI to watch if they were genuinely interested without his input.

XIX. do you have a playlist for your tav? if so, what’s the title + description?

Big Iron — Marty Robbins

Johnny Guitar — Peggy Lee

Glory of Love — Peter Cetera

Wrong Side of Heaven — Five Finger Death Punch

Million Reasons — Lady Gaga

Idfc - Blackbear (for him and his love interest)

Pretty Pills for Broken Hearts — Cloudy June

Diamonds And Rust — Joan Baez

Further On Up The Road — Johnny Cash

The Stranger Song — Leonard Cohen

People Ain't No Good — Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

The Devil Wears a Suit and Tie — Colter Wall

I Am All I Got — The Dead Brothers

Devil's Backbone — The Civil Wars

I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You — Tom Waits

Lithium and a Lover — Sirenia

Grave In the Valley — Jim & Jesse

I Am Stretched on Your Grave — Kate Rusby

Take Me to Church — Hozier

Devil In You — The Haunted Windchimes

XX. if you were to try pickpocketing them, what would they be carrying?

Money and some lint. He doesn't carry anything unless he has to.

[callsign-magnolia]

I Hope You Dance // Chapter 53

MATURE CONTENT (18+)

A/N: This is cross posted to my Wattpad, so if this seems familiar that is why!

TW: Mental abuse, emotional abuse, slight physical abuse, death and loss.

Description: When Caila meets Rooster, sparks fly. But, she's already married, to a man who she thought loved her, and won't let her go. Rooster will fight for her, he just has to convince Caila to fight for herself.

Word Count: 6.2k

Chapter 52 | Masterlist

I sat on Bradley’s bed the rest of the night, my fingers running through his curls and occasionally I placed kisses on his head. I took a picture and sent it to Mav, telling him he was awake and not to come till the morning. I would text and call everyone tomorrow, I don’t want too many people in here at once. That night I slept the best I had since he’d been in here. His arm stayed around my waist and my fingers in his hair as his head rested on my chest. The next morning I woke up to voices and turned to see Mav standing on the other side of the bed as Penny sat in the chair. “Oh, hey.” I said and sat up. “I guess you got a little more sleep than last night.” Penny said and I nodded. “I definitely did.” I said as I looked down at Bradley, kissing his head. “I’m starving.” He said, his head falling back on his pillow. “I’ll go see if you can have breakfast.” I said before getting up and making my way out to the nurses station. His day nurse, Ella, had been kind but quiet. “Hi.” I said and she looked over at me from her screen. “Good morning.” She said, “Um, Bradley was wondering if he could eat?” I asked and she looked back at the screen. “It says he can after some blood work and a CT scan. He was talking and I didn’t want to interrupt.” she said and I smiled. “Want me to ask?” I asked her and she nodded. I peeked my head in and he looked at me. “You can eat after blood work and a CT scan. Want her to go ahead and draw your blood?” I could see him pale slightly but he nodded. “He said yes.” She nodded and stood. “I’ll get everything ready.”

Within a few minutes she came back with a few tubes and a needle. “I have an IV in, can’t you get blood from that?” He asked and she shook her head. “There’s no blood return.” She said quietly as she got set up. “I really don’t wanna be stuck again.” He whispered to me. “I already have a tube sticking out of my chest and I’m scared to move.” He said and I felt for him. “One quick stick and then you're done.” I said and he turned his head into my chest and I squeezed his hand. “You’re still afraid of needles?” Mav laughed out. “Yes! I am okay!” He snapped and Mav just grinned. Ella got his blood drawn and removed the tube. “Now time for your CT.” She said. “I’ll be right here when you get back.” I said as I stood from the bed. He grabbed my hand, kissing it as Ella pushed the bed out of the room, his hand holding mine till the very last second. “I think he’ll make a great recovery.” Penny said, her hand rubbing Mav’s arm as he stood next to her. “Me too.” I said. He already seemed to be doing pretty good.

Bradley was gone for about an hour and just as he came in he was brought his food. “Eggs, bacon, french toast? Am I drooling?” He asked, looking up at me as I ran my fingers through his hair. “A little. Eat up.” I said and he did. “It can’t be that good. It’s hospital food.” Mav said and Bradley shook his head. “It’s actually really good.” He said, food still in his mouth. “Okay, no one's gonna take it from you and don’t talk with your mouth full.” I said and he swallowed. “Yes, mom.” He said. Soon Mav and Penny left and I took a shower in the bathroom attached to his room. “Oh I feel so much better.” I said as I came out, I looked at Bradley and smiled. He had Mr. Snuffles up on the bed with him, tucked into his left side and he read the card attached to the flowers mom sent. “Your mom send these?” He asked and I nodded. “She did. Her and dad were gonna fly out but there was nothing they could do so I managed to talk them into staying put.” He chuckled. “Should we call them?” He asked and I realized I never text anyone but Mav to say he was awake. “Sure. Let’s surprise them.” I said. I facetimed moms phone and it rang so long I thought she would never answer.

“Hell-OH!” Mom yelled when she saw Bradley grinning at her through the phone. “Oh thank god! DAVID!” She yelled and she rushed through the house. “What?! Something happen to Bradley?” He asked and my heart swelled knowing my parents care about him so much. Mom turned the phone towards him and it took dad a minute to register what he was seeing. “Wha- YOU SON OF A BITCH!” Dad yelled with a smile on his face. “Good to see ya, son!” He said, making us laugh. “When did you wake up?” Dad asked. “Yesterday evening.” He said. “We hadn’t told anyone but Mav till now.” I said. “What about the team?” Dad asked. “I’ll text them once I get off the phone with you. Bradley wants them to come in a few at a time. He doesn’t want them crowding.” I said and I turned to him. His eyes were drifting closed and I could tell he was exhausted still. “Well, we’ll let you go. Text us with updates, we can talk later.” Mom said and I nodded, letting her go. “Get some sleep, honey.” I said, kissing his head. His arm went around my waist and I smiled, knowing I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere any time soon.

Throughout the week the team came in to visit, all cheering and crying tears of joy to see Bradley awake. Cyclone even came in to speak with him. Bradley had been worried that he wouldn’t be able to fly again, but his doctor and Cyclone reassured him that he would be back in the skies but only after ten to twelve weeks. He was bummed about it, but it was all worth it if he made a full recovery. Come Saturday we were getting ready to go home. I packed all of our stuff, Bradley was dressed and ready, the only thing left is for the doctor to remove his chest tube. “You may have some slight discomfort as I remove this.” Rooster squeezed my hand and buried his face in my shoulder. The doctor cut the stitches and slowly pulled the tube out, a hiss escaping Bradley as he did so. “All done.” I could immediately tell a shift in Bradley, he seemed more relaxed, relieved. “Macy will be in with your discharge paperwork and care instructions in just a few minutes.” We nodded and he left. Roo sat up and swung his legs off the bed. He’s only been up a handful of times this week and he’s a little unsteady so I immediately reach for him. “Need help?” I asked and he shook his head. “No, I just need off this bed.”

He stood and stepped away, slowly wandering around the room. “Feels good to just use my legs.” He said, stretching his legs as he did so. I just watched him. There was a moment where I never thought I’d see him alive again, let alone up and moving. “What?” He asked, noticing that I was watching him. “I’m just glad you're okay.” I said, leaning back on my hands as I leaned against a table in the room. He smiled, walking over to me, his hands falling to my waist. “I told you, I’m not going anywhere.” He said before leaning down and kissing me. There was so much passion behind it, something we’ve been missing since he’s been in here. “I love you, Mags.” He whispered as he pulled away. “I love you too, Roo.” I wrapped my hand around his neck and kissed him one more time before Macy came in. “Alright. These are your care instructions.” She handed the packet to Rooster, he couldn’t get incisions wet for three more days, no physical exercise for six weeks. “The physical exercise also includes sex.” “WHAT?!” He asked loudly and I slapped my hand over his mouth. Macy tried not to giggle but one escaped. “Yes. No sex. It could increase your heart rate and your stitches could pop. If they pop, you’ll bleed out in minutes, before anyone can get there to help you.”

I turned to him and he looked at me with pleading eyes but I shook my head. “No sex.” I said sternly and he huffed. We went over the rest of the instructions before we signed the paperwork. “Thank you so much.” I said before pulling Macy into a hug. She seemed shocked but hugged me back. “You’re welcome.” She said before forcing Bradley into a wheelchair. “I can walk.” He said and she chuckled. “Hospital policy, I’m just doing my job.” She said and he pouted the entire walk to the front doors. Macy stood with him while I pulled the jeep up to the doors. Macy helped him in and soon we were off and headed home. “It’s weird being the passenger.” Roo said, reaching over and taking my hand. “Thank you.” He said, lifting my hand and kissing the back of it softly. “For what?” I asked, squeezing his hand slightly. “Staying. Not leaving me alone in there.” There was something in his voice. I couldn’t read it and that bothered me. We stayed quiet the entire ride home, the only noise being the road and the radio. Once we pulled into the driveway I put the car in park and turned to him. “You know I’d never leave you, right?” I asked and he nodded. “I do. But you easily could’ve sat here at home, waiting for a phone call instead of sitting in that uncomfortable chair.” I just smiled at him, sitting up and running my fingers through his hair. “I wanted my face to be the first thing you saw when you woke up. So I wasn’t going anywhere. Plus if anything happened I wanted to know immediately, not twenty minutes after the fact.” He just smiled at me, his hand gently gripping the hand in his hair and holding it. “I’m glad you were the first thing I saw. It sounds weird, but god I missed you.” I smiled, leaning down and kissing him. “I missed you too.”

I pulled away and slid out of the jeep. “Now, let’s get you inside. I’m hungry and I’m sure you are too.” I said as I opened his door. Thankfully the jeep doesn’t sit too high off the ground so he could easily slide out. “Your cooking sounds amazing.” He said before reaching into the back. “EH! You’re not allowed to lift anything over ten pounds!” I stopped him. “I got the bags, you just take your ass inside and sit down.” He huffed but didn’t argue. He did reach inside and grab my purse and the flowers, neither weighing more than ten. Pick your battles. He likes helping out, so I’ll let him do little things here and there. He’ll go crazy if I make him lay in bed all day. We got inside and the dogs lost their minds. “Sit.” Bradley said and both dogs immediately sat, tails going a mile a minute. Rooster set my purse by the door with the flowers before sitting on the floor. I put all of our dirty clothes in the washer and put everything else away before I went into the kitchen. Amelia ate a good bit of the food, mostly stuff that would go bad like sandwich stuff. I pulled out some chicken to put in the airfryer and some pasta. I seasoned the chicken lightly before tossing it in then prepped everything else.

As that cooked I walked back into the living room to find Rooster had moved to the couch, Dahlia’s head in his lap and Sadie curled up next to him. “How does chicken pesto pasta sound?” I asked as I leaned over the back of the couch. He turned his head to look at me, smiling widely. “It sounds so good.” I smiled and kissed him before coming around and sitting next to him. I grabbed his hand and leaned my head on his shoulder. “It’s good to be home with you.” I muttered, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “I agree, pretty girl.” Once dinner was done we sat down and ate just enjoying the time together. There was a moment that I thought I would never have time like this again. After dinner I got him settled upstairs in the bed and went to take my shower. “I wish I could take a fucking shower. Those sponge baths did shit to make me feel clean.” I felt bad for him. The man showers religiously and after a week, he probably does feel like shit. “Are you sure I can’t take a shower?” He asked and I sighed. “You heard Macy. You can’t get your incisions wet for three more days.” He huffed and leaned his head back. I could tell he was frustrated and I hated it. I turned and took notice of the giant jetted tub that we have yet to use.

“You know. If we’re really careful, you could take a bath.” He sat up immediately. “You think?” He asked and I nodded. “I’ll have to help you to make sure you keep your incisions dry.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me. “So you’ll get in with me?” He asked. “No. I will sit on the edge of the tub and help you, but I will not be getting in the water with you.” He pouted but slowly stood. No matter what he says, he knows he’s weak and he knows he has to be careful. “Why not?” He asked as he slowly walked by me. “Because, I know how you get when I’m naked and I will not have you dying in our bathtub.” I said, referring to the stitches in his aorta. “Fine.” He huffed. “At least help me get undressed? It hurts if I lift my arm too high.” I gave him a small smile and nodded. I helped him carefully pull his shirt off and helped him with his pants before starting the water. I didn’t let it get too high, not wanting the water to reach the incision on his left side where his chest tube was.

Once I turned off the water I helped him in and he sat down. “Just being in the water feels nice.” I smiled, brushing his hair back. “I love you.” He said as he looked up at me with those big brown cow eyes. “I love you too.” I leaned down and kissed him gently before I carefully helped him wash his body and his hair. Once we were done I could see he felt better, more relaxed. “My turn. Go lay down and I’ll crawl in bed with you once I’ve had my shower.” He smiled and leaned down, kissing me softly. “Okay.” He whispered and walked into the bedroom while I cut the shower on. I washed away all the stress of the last few days. It was nice to be home, in my own shower, knowing my fiance was peacefully laying in bed waiting for me. Once I was done I dried off and slid into one of Bradley’s t-shirts before walking into the bedroom.

There, lying on the bed was Bradley. He was on his back, arms outstretched as his chest slowly rose and fell. I smiled and made my way over to the bed. I pulled the covers back, moving his arm before I slid in. “Mm, honey?” I couldn’t help but grin as I curled into him, my hand resting on his chest, right next to his incision. “I’m right here.” I whispered. His arm curled around my shoulder, pulling me close before he drifted back off to sleep. I just laid there, taking in everything. This was real. He would live. We would get to sleep next to each other, have meals together… we still get to have our wedding. Losing Rooster was a hard concept to grasp, but never being able to marry him made my chest ache. It felt as if someone took their hands and pulled my rib cage apart before reaching in and ripping out my heart. Part of me wanted to stay awake, soak in every moment of this, to know it was real. But his even breathing made me sleepy and soon, I was drifting off to sleep right next to him.

The next day we were lazy. Roo got up and walked around the house, we took a short walk on the beach to get him up and moving, but other than that we laid on the couch and cuddled. Of course Mav called to check on him. That would become a daily thing for a while. I know Mav was terrified of losing him, and he has every right to be, but I think Rooster is already annoyed after the third call today. “I’m fine.” He said after he hung up with Mav. “I know.” I said as I rubbed his back. “But you aren’t acting like that.” I pursed my lips and nodded. “But I get to see you all day, touch you, talk to you. All these things that solidify that you’re really here. Mav was… really scared. I think he’s still scared, scared that he’s going to call and you will never pick up.” I said and he sighed. “Maybe you call him tomorrow, or send him a meme every now and again. Something to help solidify that you’re still here and I’m sure he’ll calm down soon.” I said as my phone dinged. “Is it Mav?” He asked and I shook my head. “Penny. She’s apologizing for Mav calling so many times. She said she’s hiding his phone from him now.” Rooster chuckled. “He may just drive over here.” I nodded in agreement. “He really might.”

The rest of Sunday was spent in the kitchen. I was prepping stuff so Bradley could have easy and healthy lunches. Lots of protein and foods that would be good for his heart. He helped a little, getting tired easily so he would occasionally go nap or just rest. Going to bed Sunday night was easy. It was getting up Monday morning that was hard. It was storming outside, a very uncommon sight for San Diego. “You think you’ll be in the air much?” Roo asked as I pulled my hair back into a bun. “Knowing Mav? He’ll use this as an excuse for severe weather training.” Roo gave a light chuckle from the bed. “Probably.” He laid on his back, arm tossed over his eyes to shield them from the bathroom light. Once I was done I grabbed my flight suit and slid it on. “You gonna be okay today?” I asked and he nodded. “I’ll miss you.” I couldn’t help but grin and walk towards the bed, leaning over him as I got close. “I’ll miss you too.” He moved his arm and I kissed him gently. “But I will be fine. If I need you, I’ll call.” I nodded as I laced my boots up.

I went downstairs to get my coffee ready, Bradley and the dogs close behind. We silently went about our routine. Bradley let the dogs out and fed them while I got my coffee ready. “Okay. I love you, I will be home soon.” I said as I turned to him. He smiled down at me before leaning down and kissing me. “I love you too.” He followed me to the door, his own mug of coffee in hand before I opened the door. I turned for my bag, yelling as I saw him bend down to grab it. “You cannot lift anything heavy yet.” I scolded as I hoisted my bag over my shoulder. “Yes ma’am.” He sassed. “I’ll check in around lunch time.” I said before he kissed me one more time. “Okay, honey.” With that I walked out the door, pulling the hood of my rain jacket over my head. I quickly tossed everything in the jeep before practically diving in myself. Bradley stood on the porch waving as I backed out of the driveway. I waved back before heading off to work.

“Today you will be doing some severe weather training.” Mav announced in our morning briefing. “I told Bradley we’d be doing weather training.” I leaned over to Coyote as I whispered. “I want you in groups of threes. We’ll be practicing flight maneuvers.” We all nodded. “Dismissed.” With that we stood and made our way out to the hangar. First up was Phoenix and Bob, Fritz, and Coyote. I checked over my jet as they went up before Mav walked over. “How is he?” I just smiled at him before I sat in a chair. “Doing surprisingly well.” I answered. “No pain or anything?” He asked. “He’s on a lot of medication for pain and infections and everything in between. His incisions still look fresh and he’s dying for an actual shower.” Mav nodded and sat next to me. “I’m worried about psychological effects.” I nodded in agreement. “So far he sleeps like a baby. No nightmares, but I keep waking up intermittently to check on him.” He just nodded and smiled at me.

“I’m glad he has you.” Mav said, tossing his arm around my shoulder. “He wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for me.” “Don’t start that.” Mav snapped. “Stop blaming yourself for every little thing that goes wrong in your relationship. I’m tired of hearing it and so is Bradley.” I was stunned by his response. Mav has usually been level headed with a few exceptions. He sighed and it was silent for a moment. “Caila, I’m sorry.” I shook my head and stood. “No. You’re right.” With that I walked away. I couldn’t really be mad at Mav, he was right. But so was I. Soon it was my turn to get in the air with Hangman and Omaha and Halo. We were doing so good. “Get him off me, Magnolia!” Omaha called out. “Hang in there! I’m coming!” Just as I almost had Hangman in my sights, lightning struck way too close for comfort. We had multiple other lightning strikes that followed. “Should we land?” I asked through the comms. The rain was splattering against my canopy, making visibility next to nothing. “You’re team leader Magnolia. That’s your call.” Another lightning strike and I made my decision. “Everyone bring it in.” We all landed one by one, my landing last as I wanted everyone else to land before me. As soon as I got my jet onto the tarmac, I was out and rushing inside. “I’m already sick of this rain.” I said as I stormed past Mav and Phoenix, soaked to the bone.

I didn’t shower on base, deciding it wasn’t worth it. The rain hasn’t let up all day and after work was no different. I hit a stupid amount of traffic on the way home and by the time I actually got there, I just wanted to curl up with Rooster. I made it inside, bringing in just a little water and not a whole damn puddle and as I set my bag down I saw Rooster napping on the couch. He looked so peaceful. He was lying on his back, one arm tossed back behind his head, the other resting on his belly. As I stepped closer I was startled by Sadie who poked her head out from under the blanket. “Keeping daddy company?” I asked, reaching down and petting her before she laid her head on his leg. I left Bradley asleep as I went upstairs and showered. He needed his sleep. Sleep would help him heal and a lot of the medications he’s taking right now make him sleepy. Once I was done, I found he was still asleep as I came downstairs. I needed to figure out dinner so I went into the kitchen and started rummaging around. I decided to just grill some chicken, brown rice and lots of fresh veggies. Most of it is good for his heart and I wanted him to feel as good as possible as quickly as possible.

When dinner was almost done I went to wake him. I sat next to him on the couch, smiling at how peaceful he looked. I brushed some of his curls back gently and he inhaled deeply. I kissed his forehead, his cheeks, his chin and as I kissed his eyebrow his eyes opened. “Mm, hi honey.” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into him. “Careful, Roo.” I said, pulling away slightly. “I just wanna hold my fiance, is that too much to ask?” He groaned and I chuckled. “No, but I don’t wanna hurt you.” He smiled up at me as his hand threaded through my hair. “You never could.” He pulled me down into a kiss and I couldn’t help but relax into it. After a minute I pulled away. "Dinners almost ready." I told him and he inhaled deeply. "Okay, I'll be in the kitchen in a minute." I stood and held out my hands, helping him up gently. His face scrunched as if he was in pain as he stood. “When was the last time you had any medicine?” I asked and he looked at his watch. “Five hours ago.” I pursed my lips. “I’ll set out your medicine with dinner.” I said before standing on my toes and kissing his cheek.

I plated everything and set all his medications out on the island and he came in just as I put all my food on my own plate. He was rubbing his chest just around his scar. “Here.” I slid some water to him as he sat down. “Thanks.” He muttered before taking the handful of pills and swallowing them with the water. I smiled before sitting next to him with my own food. “How was your day?” He asked as he cut into the chicken. “Long. The rain never stopped and we had to end our exercise early because of all the lightning. I was soaked all day.” He chuckled. “Kind of glad I wasn’t there to endure that.” He said and I glared at him. “I love you but you get cranky if you get soaked from the rain.” He said, grinning before he leaned over and kissed my cheek. “You’re not wrong.” I replied. We talked and ate and once we were done poor Bradley looked like he would fall asleep. “C’mon. Let’s get you in bed.” I said quietly as I cut off the kitchen light. He slowly got up and I wrapped my arm around his waist. “I really want another bath.” He muttered and I sighed. Bradley is a man that showers every day and I can’t really tell him no. “Okay. We’ll get you a bath and then bed.”

We made it up the stairs and he sat on the toilet as I pulled out some towels for him and cut on the water. “Will you get in with me?” He asked as I leaned over. His hands rested on my hips and pulled me back till I stood between his legs and he rested his forehead on my back. “I’ve already showered.” I answered. “Please.” I let out a slow breath. I wanted to tell him no, but then I remembered how close I came to losing him. “Okay.” I could feel him smile against me. We both stripped and I helped him in before getting in and sitting on the opposite side, facing him. He gave me a small smile as I tossed my legs over his. “We should make use of this bathtub more often.” He said, leaning his head back and winking at me. “Mhm, I know what you want to use it for.” I said with a smile. “You can’t tell me that you don’t want to use it for the same thing!” He said as he leaned forward, gripping my thighs and hauling me into his lap. I gasped loudly. I knew he wouldn’t let me go so I helped slide myself into his lap, not wanting him to overexert himself. “You shouldn’t do that.” I scolded him.

“I didn’t hurt myself, so don’t worry.” I huffed, shaking my head. “I’ll always worry about you.” He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me as close as he could get me, my forehead resting on his. I smiled at him, my thumb running across the scars on his jawline. “I love you.” I whispered and he grinned. “I love you too, pretty girl.” I kissed his lips gently before I sat up. “We should probably get you washed up before the water gets cold.” He nodded and I leaned back, grabbing the soap and a rag. His arms stayed around me as I lathered the soap across his body. “I did something today.” He blurted out. I raised a brow at him. “What’d you do?” I asked, carefully cleaning around his incision. “I made some changes to my life insurance policy.” I stilled. “What?” I asked, my eyes moving to his. “When I met Nat and we became friends, she was the beneficiary. I knew she’d use it to pay off any funeral debts if it came to that. When we got together I never really thought about it. But after what happened, I didn’t want you to have to worry about anything.” I stared at him for a moment. I dropped the rag and my hands drifted up to the sides of his neck. “Bradley. I don’t want your money.” I said and he nodded, one hand coming up and lightly holding my wrist. “I know, honey. I know. But if something does happen to me I just want the peace of mind knowing that you’re taken care of. Just to know that finances is one thing you won’t have to worry about makes me feel better.”

I sighed, tears coming to my eyes. “Financial ruin doesn’t matter. Because if you’re not here I don’t know how I’d go on living.” He furrowed his brows, his handscoming up to my own cheeks. “Hey, don’t say that.” I shook my head. “It’s true though. When you were in the hospital I had this god awful dream.” I took a deep breath, willing the tears away. “You died. You didn’t make it. Mom was helping me get ready for your funeral.” My breath caught in my throat and he shushed me. “Hey, I’m here.” I shook my head. “Seeing you in a casket Bradley, even in my dream I just wanted to die.” I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him tightly. “It’s okay. I’m here and I don’t plan on going anywhere for a long, long time.” He said as he pressed a kiss to my neck. His words sat heavy on my chest and only one thought crossed my mind, and I’m sure it crossed his. Goose didn’t plan on going anywhere for a long, long time either. I didn’t dare say it out loud, but we both knew it. Anything can happen in our jobs, even outside of it. Once I calmed myself, I sat back and wiped my cheeks.

“Come on. Let’s finish up and get in bed.” He said and I nodded. We finished in the bath and finally got out. Rooster slid into some boxers and I slid on some panties and one of his old Phillie’s shirts. With that, we climbed into bed, his arm going around my waist and pulling me into his side. “You’re gonna have to stop pulling me, I definitely weigh more than ten pounds.” I said and he chuckled. “I’d pop a stitch for you anyday.” He said, turning on his side and nuzzling his nose into my cheek. “Well let’s not do that. Remember what Macy said?” I asked, closing my eyes and resting my hand on his chest. “Yes, honey. I remember.” He huffed and then it went quiet. Within minutes Rooster was out like a light and I wasn’t far behind him.

The next morning I got up and left early, deciding I needed to hit the gym. I left Rooster a note just so he didn’t worry. I walked into the gym, immediately heading for the weights and saw Hangman on the leg press. “Mornin’.” He grunted out. “Mornin’.” I replied quietly. Hangman finished as I headed for the leg curl machine. I got set up and started. “You okay?” Hangman asked as he finished his set and stood up. “Hm? Oh, yeah. I’m just tired.” I replied. “How’s Rooster?” He asked. “He’s okay. Sleeping a lot. He can finally get his stitches wet today so I know as soon as I walk through the door he’ll be begging for a shower.” Hangman scrunched his face. “Has he not bathed since he came home?” I giggled. “Yes, he has. But it’s been baths and the man showers daily. He’s begged me every night since he came home for a shower.” He nodded. “Why can’t he just take one when he gets up?”

I shook my head. “If the shower gets too hot, which is likely because he loves steaming showers, he can pass out. I’d rather be home so if anything happens I can get to him.” He nodded. “He hasn’t… hasn’t had any nightmares has he?” I shook my head. “No. I hope he never does, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. It was all so traumatic. I’ve been waking up at least twice a night to check on him.” He gave me a small smile. “Worried?” He asked and I nodded. “Worried something will happen in the middle of the night and when I wake up he’ll be dead.” I finished my reps and sat up. “He told me last night that he changed the beneficiary to his life insurance policy. He changed it to me because after what happened he was worried I wouldn’t be taken care of.” I chuckled. “As if that would happen.” Hangman chuckled and agreed. “Well what matters is he’s still here and on the mend.” I nodded as he pulled me into a side hug.

We finished working out and I showered before getting ready in my flight suit. We went through the motions of the day, sitting in lectures, going through simulations and flight training. Finally when the end of the day came, I didn’t bother showering in the locker room and just made my way home. Like I predicted, Rooster was standing in the living room in only his boxers when I got home. “Hi honey.” He seemed tired but happy to see me. “Hi, why are you up?” I asked. “I was waiting on you to get home so I could shower.” He had a large grin on his face. “I figured you would be. Just didn’t expect you to be standing in the living room waiting on me.” I said as I set my bag on the floor. “Have you had a shower yet?” He asked, coming closer and resting his hands on my waist. “I knew you’d ask so I purposefully drove home without one.” He grinned and laced his fingers through mine. “C’mon honey. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

He grinned at me as he pulled me upstairs towards our room. He slowly unzipped my flight suit, his lips attached to mine. “Don’t get worked up now.” I told him. “You’re only telling me that because you’re getting worked up.” He said before attaching his lips to the skin just below my ear. “You’re right, I am.” I said as I stepped out of my flight suit. We finished stripping and Rooster got into the shower. The water was warm, but not too hot. Bradley carefully washed his incision and I helped him wash everywhere else. “I never thought a shower could feel so amazing.” He said, standing under the shower head. I smiled, running my hands through his hair, washing out the shampoo. “I’m just glad you feel so good today.” He nodded. “I feel better today than I have since it happened.” I gave him a tight smile. “That’s good.” Bradley lathered my body with soap before helping me wash my own hair. It was quiet, sweet even. When we got out he helped me make dinner and we ate, curled up on the couch. “Bradley?” I asked after we were done eating. I was laying down on the couch, him between my legs with his head on my stomach. “Yeah, pretty girl?” He asked. “I love you, so much.” I said, running my fingers through his curl. He buried his face in my stomach, his mustache tickling my skin as he smiled. “I love you too, pretty girl. So much more than you could imagine.” He said before placing a kiss to my stomach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @mak-32 @rosiahills22 @fanboyswhore9 @kmc1989 @sunderland-6 @mygyn @halstead-severide-fan

[midwesternmule]

its cold where i am, warmer than earlier this week though, when i would walk to class with two pairs of thick socks inside my boots and ice formed so thick on the gravel of my apartment parking lot that my truck has stayed stationary for the better half of january. 

i’ve been daydreaming of the warmer months that we experience here in the heart of the states, not yet the hellish days where i wish for winter again and feel the humidity so thick that it sticks in my throat and makes my curls twice as frizzy, but rather the gentle 70 degree nights where i can bring out the hammock to my front porch and set up the tv against my window to watch plotless movies while me and my brother reminisce about our childhood and roll ugly joints. 

in these daydreams, the girl on the other side of the country — the one that i care for so deeply but cant seem to bear to say as much — is stuffed in the hammock with me, our legs intertwined while we sip the cheap wine i bought from the liquor store a few blocks down the hill from the man who no longer asks for my obviously fake id, or maybe she’s sitting on the knobby wooden planks below me while i rake my hands through her self-trimmed hair as she reads me vonnegut and our shared cigarette’s ashes shower the pages. 

later in the night i’d turn on my ancient AC and pull out the futon so we can sleep curled into each other, arms wrapped around slow breathing bodies and fingers woven together. maybe by now we’d have kissed, though knowing us we haven’t, but strangely i think we are both okay with that. my friends don’t quite understand that, but as cliche as it sounds, i don’t need them to. i’d be wearing a tank top and boxers, and she would be wearing a silly pun shirt that she has too many of. i’d hope that she notices the freckles that appear after days in the sun, the ones she told me she loves so much the summer before, and i’d silently admire the tan she can keep up all year due to the beach being a 15 minute walk from her dorms. we would talk about nothing for an hour or two after laying down, giggle at the sounds of other drunk 20-somethings wandering home from the bars close to my building. 

the next morning i’d wake with the warm sun coming in bright through the blinds i’d forgotten to close the night before, laying back down if she hadn’t woken up yet, or maybe if i’d received a moka pot ive asked my mother for as a birthday gift i’ll make her some coffee, she’s the reason i started to love hot coffee after all. maybe we would go to the pastry place across town that we always stop at after a night of drinking, looking as disheveled as every time before. maybe we would go to the donut place my father showed me, the one i promised to take her to earlier this month.

normally she would leave to go back to the town where i grew up and where we met, but in these daydreams she stays with me for the day, and since its a sunday we laze about in my notably less crowded college town, walking downtown streets and rifling through thrift store clothing racks and the record shop’s collections, as i have somehow acquired a record player for my tiny apartment that floats music through the open porch door, which i’ve left open so the incense smoke can reach us outside as we sit on my floor cushions and play cards, shitty but tolerable beer bottles at our sides. 

these daydreams seem to warm me from within, like the ambience of an early summer’s day has some how transcended my consciousness and soaked into my very bones. i’m cruelly reminded of reality though when i open my eyes to scoot further under my three blankets as i have began to shiver slightly while typing. the futon isn’t pulled out to accommodate the warm body of another, but rather because it’s further from the drafty window on the western wall. i’m up too late, not because of a long conversation that i’ll cherish but because the memories of them make me so painfully aware of that which i miss most right now.

its not the summer’s heat that i dream of.

[toonie-selfships]

Smiling cruise

@wulfums, started thinkin after a day of having no or negative thoughts, can finally type something out even if its not what i originally wanted, thought id tag you. so i been ponderin for a short minute and i was like "hm yes, put smiling friends on a cruise ship and write about what theyd get up to". simple ideas like that, youre more than welcome to reblog and add onto this what Lucky64 would be gettin up to

Lucky Charms & Gwimbly would be sharing a room obvi, probably one with a balcony because everything would be paid for by Charms, this is probably after the game ceo finally dies and Charms finally gets their proper earnings of music revenue.

Charms would be up early and awake late, so barely any sleep because they're excited. In the mornings they'd stand on the balcony to watch the sunrise, at night theyre probably on top deck watching the sun set and then probably dancing through the empty decks with their headphones on in the middle of the night to burn left over energy before returning to an already asleep Gwimbly.

Gwimbly would be the sleep late, wake up late type. and probably a bed hog. sometimes hes up earlier but thats a rarity. say this cruise is like 2 weeks or something, 4 out of those 12 days hes awake early.

They'd have a table alone but it'd always be close to Allan & Whatwulfs because they like to hang out and talk whenever they run into eachother. Gwimbly and Allan probably have quiet tension from the whole hose thing, Gwimbly never really forgave him for that. Maybe Charlie, Pim & Glep are also at that table, maybe not, that'd probably depend on you

Lucky carries their headphones and autism bag everywhere they go, especially to actives, they know how crowded and loud things can get sometimes and theyre always prepared. Gwimbly also always double checks to ensure they have their stuff, hes had to be the main escort out of a situation a few times when they first started dating because Charms forgot their stuff. He hates seeing them so distressed when they thought things would be fun and fine.

Charms is usually Gwimblys drink cut off, they dont really like seeing him incredibly drunk unless theyre both shitfaced and Charms cant cut either of them off, but that doesnt happen often, best Charms' gets is tipsy from a few cocktails.

Gwimbly spends alot of time in the arcade, usually at the little duck claw machine (every cruise ive been on had one and i love them) trying to win as many unique ducks for Charms before they can win them themselves, he knows they love random bullshit like that. however gwimbly is in no way a master at it like he claims.

On land days they try to stick with the main group and/or Allan & WW (im just gonna shorten it to ww for whatwulf sometimes or just wulf, lazy like that ✌️). Charms isnt great at directions in new locations and gets stressed easy when they dont know where to go, especially on a time limit.

the two of them collect as many postcards, magnets, keyrings and pins as they can. Lucky has a rather large collection and gwimbly wants to be apart of it.

Gwimbly has definitely fallen into the pools a few times. completely sober.

the two like to spend more time in the 18+ pool areas just to be away from the rowdy kids and parents.

Charms brought their laptop and stuff to still make music since they always love making music on down times. Gwimbly is slowly learning to draw, sure its akin to a 3 year olds but hes doing his best and Charms loves everything he draws no matter what, seeing their face genuinely light up fills him with the confidence to get better.

sometimes gwimbly gets a lil too handsy outside the room but not too much to warrent trouble, he just cant help it, he tries to hold onto charms as much as possible because hes terrified of losing them to homelessness again like the day he lost them after the games fell through.

Gwimbly & Charms participate in costume nights but if its somethin theyre not crazy into then theyre kinda half assing it.

Loathsome mozzy eaters (again all what i think would happen ur welcome to change and add things)

Allan probably sleeps early and wakes up early.

ww falls asleep real early and wakes up at the same time as allan to watch the sunrise together.

unintentionally got the balcony room next to lucky64, wave to eachother often. allan probably goes inside early if he hears them getting all googly at eachother or making out.

whenever theyre not in the dining rooms theyre either at the help yourself restaurant or the fancy pay to be at restaurant because allan wants to treat ww.

allan does all the shoretour talks while whatwulf does most of the friendly first interactions.

both probably get a lil tipsy but never overly drunk unlike everyone else (excluding glep and his wife).

allan got the cruise through work most likely.

whatwulf swims the most

both of them also use the 18+ pools to be away from kids #ChildFree.

allan has never seen Charms tic before and probably thinks theyre drunk or something at first before asking them about it, hes slowly learning to get used to it and pay no mind to any unintentional noises.

wulf understands Charms' tourettes well since theyre better friends than them and allan, sometimes he'll help explain them to others when Charms cant themselves.

they def kiss at sunset on leaving day & going home day.

allan seems like he'd enjoy trivia, much like Lucky Charms, they always swap answers with eachother at the end.

whatwulf HAS to see every performance, theyre too good not to see.

whatwulf probably doesnt get sea sick as easily as everyone else due to being an aquatic-ish critter.

whatwulf is also probably a connoisseur of rubber ducks, very appreciative of them when gifted by allan.

shore days the two try to find their own way around unless its really unfamiliar and they get a shoretour.

allan makes sure they both have any autism things they need, if somehow they forget something Charms always has something similar to offer. fidget toy? sorted. earplugs? cleaned daily with interchangeable silicone or the soft foam ones for someone elses keeping.

ww is ALWAYS prepped and goes all out for costume nights, hes always matching with allan to the T no matter what!

sometimes on quiet nights they'll slow dance on the lido deck when no one else is around.

what everyone else is doin (aka charlie, pim, glep + Marge and maybe mr boss + Jason)

literally NOBODY trusts pims with directions and shit, not after Brazil.

Charlie and pim get shitfaced on the regular.

charpim share a room more in the middle of the boat, they dont have a balcony.

100% from work tickets.

glep and marge have their own room on a different floor, opposite side of the boat, balcony.

all 4 of them share a table with mr boss and jason, sometimes allan and whatwulf. pim gets along with gwimbly and no one really talks to charms that much because only allan and whatwulf really know them. pim tries to talk with lucky sometimes though to get to know them. charlie silently questions their tics but never has the balls to ask.

mr boss puts jason in the kidsclubs even though hes 18, jason fuckin loves the kids clubs because who wouldnt? i fuckin loved kids clubs.

mr boss kinda scares lucky sometimes, his random outbursts of actions scare the crap out of them.

glep and marge sometimes get a table to themselves when they want a quiet moment.

charlie fuckin hates being dragged to every single activity by pim. "pim cant we just slow down and play mini golf or something man? my knees are killing me."

pim is always first awake out of everyone in the group, he swims the most too.

charlie rides the waterslides 50 times in a row whenever he can, though hes gotta take big ass breaks between them for his pace maker.

[neonlitlesbians]

do you have a masterpost or some key posts that help explain the setting/worldbuilding or context for your ocs? or intro posts to learn about them?

oh shit oh shit oh shittttt ok i really need to organize a little better around here BUT i have a little bit i can offer right now! (ive been meaning to make intro posts for my ocs, thank you for the reminder—i will try to get on that soon!)

(LOTS under the cut you have no idea how much i have to say!! thank you SO much for this ask)

The World

Alana and her friends live in a huge, dying cyberpunk city.

Nine years ago, the algorithm governing the city decided that infinite capitalistic growth was no longer sustainable, and went into power saving mode. Those who hid, survived; the vast majority of the city's inhabitants were given a choice between dying and going into stasis. The remaining inhabitants have come to refer to this event as the Crash.

It's not like they could just leave—The Old Internet is chewed up and defunct, existing only in archives; the remains of GPS satellites have long since crashed to earth; and it's not like an old map would be much good, since a city in what was once barren Nevada is now... on the coast.

Understandably, the ones surviving today are still traumatized, as well as lost and more than a little bored.

(The city's name hasn't been established yet—i might just call it The City but i'm not sure yet.)

Characters

Each of these characters is diligently tagged on my blog, so you can search through all of my art that features them!

Alana/The Watcher (she/her) – One of the most capable fighters in town. Angry and quiet, but deeply caring. Died and was brought back to life by Ethlyn, now running on both red and black blood. Literature nerd and occasional writer. Zinnia's lover, Ethlyn's best friend, and Hostility's dueling partner.

Electra (any) – Alana's childhood best friend, returned after a nine-year absence. Can suck the charge out of electronics, store it, and release it. Incredibly strong, and one of the two people who can evenly duel Alana (Hostility being the other). Protective and confident.

Zinnia (she/her) – A workaholic journalist who was nearly killed by a structural collapse. Saved by Alana and given a new body by Ethlyn, she now tails Alana with a camera and documents the ruined city in photo form (not like there's much to write articles about). Quiet and serious, tending to come off as rather cold. Alana's lover.

Ethlyn Calloway (she/her) – A genius engineer, especially in the field of cybernetics, and kind of a horndog. Made most of her friends' augments and then some. Extremely hyperactive, chronically short of sleep, and prone to mood swings. The cast's leading historian on the old, defunct Internet. Bell's girlfriend and Alana's savior.

Bell Anderson (he/she) – An incredibly skilled medical doctor and surgeon. Helps Ethlyn with installing cybernetics, and was critical to Alana and Zinnia's survival. Also a highly capable chef (a good thing, too—Ethlyn would survive on nuggies alone without him). Amiable, generous, and open. Ethlyn's lover and caretaker, but gets along well with just about anyone.

Hostility (she/her) – A capable engineer and swordsmith. Made all of her own augments, as well as Nico's and some of Darcy's. Makes and maintains Alana's weaponry as well as many others'. Built an entire car out of scraps from the junkyard that she melted down and reforged. Wise and laid-back. Crowe's girlfriend, Alana's friend, and one of Rat's closer friends.

Rat Manchu (she/it) – An informant. The "word on the street." Shrewd, greasy, and much smarter than she looks. Kind of an asshole and hard to get along with, but ultimately means well. (Usually.) Also has a car (but Nico usually takes the keys before she can do anything stupid). Gay and in love with Nico and Darcy.

Nico Lombard (they/them) – A former cop and current encrypted-data-vault-slash-blank-slate. Jailbroken thanks to Hostility and Darcy, and now lives with Darcy and Rat. Still figuring themself out. Gay and in love with Darcy and Rat.

Darcy Relayer (shx/hxr) – A 1337 H4XX0R with some of the juiciest databases on the network at hxr (many) fingertips. A little bit insane. Just as hyperactive as Ethlyn, but more data-driven. Prone to using goofy slang terms from bygone eras. Gay and in love with Rat and Nico.

The Guitarist (she/her) – A traveler from abroad who plays at the Z-Axis, though sometimes you can hear her music on the wind at the edge of town. Blind and mute, relying mainly on her guitar to communicate. Doesn't really have any strong ties to anyone, past or present. Mysterious, but easy to get along with.

Crowe Stormwell (she/they) – A dancer and prostitute at the Z-Axis bar. Ethlyn's favorite test subject to try new types and models of cybernetics on. Whimsical and sensual. Hostility's girlfriend.

Aly (they/she) – [WIP] The bartender at the Z-Axis. The cast's only fully fledged android. Happy-go-lucky. Narcoleptic due to a faulty power source. Crowe's roommate, when they don't just pass out at the bar.

Lizzy (xe/xer) – A reclusive tailor, printer, hairstylist, and artist responsible for a lot of the group's clothing, especially the quality stuff like Alana's outfits and Bell's lab coat. Capable of restoring physical media like books, as well as giving tattoos.

The Keeper (she/her) – The sole occupant of the lighthouse at the edge of town. A little cagey, but ventures into town now and again. Farms her own food, and trades with the rest of the cast on occasion.

[mrspark7777777]

omg shaz, i really love you 🥺 im not a wishy washy jkkr but ive been feeling pretty down since the videos came out but reading your opinions really eased my overthinker brain 😭 so thank you 🥺 and i wanna say that i really admire how strong minded you are! lots of love 🥰

Its not about being strong minded my lovely. It's common sense. I will copy paste to you what my 2 friends on discord also said:

considering we are in 2023, technology era even a commoner has a good quality phone. So if these stalkers are ready to risk everything to stalk JK cant they arrange a good cam/phone? A normal professional cam would do a good zoom in.

My point is this is a set up kinda thing with enough details to make ppl believe that it is JK with a woman. Thts why the video is blurry and so that ppl wont dig too much on the person in the video cuz the apartment details are enough to create a doubt. Give me solid proof/ clear pics /evidences then i will believe. Till then NO

Friend 2 said

Lol even on a drone the visuals would be clear. This is a purposeful setup. There is no excuse to have camera quality like this in 2023 if you are a paparazzi/sasaeng. It's either it is clear or fuzzy like this because they are using other footage to set someone up. It is not hard to edit video in this day and age. We have believable deepfakes out here...AI can do better in their sleep lol

This account was brand new and only had this video. This person wanted to plant just enough to distract people from 3D. Have them talking and invested in the gossip instead of streaming. Couldn't look more like a sabotage if it tried.

And the edits keep coming

Something real don't need this many edits.

[peachigummi]

may 28, 2024

ive honestly been feeling kind of off. i dont know if its because im just off my meds or what...probably is. i keep putting them off or just forgetting to take them. im like thinking it doesnt work, but..im also not taking them consistently. it's not even like i feel numb or not myself when im on them though i desperately i wish i did. i have major anxiety and i cant bring myself to set up another appointment to see my doctor to ask for a larger dose. ive been staying up longer at night, to avoid sleep.

i feel guilty because im noticing im festering into different hobbies, i cant tell if its because i want to feel better doing something or if its a distraction. i keep hearing my friend playfully tell me, "youre pushing thirty." ive got five more years. they have a big time job and i dont. i dont know where im going. i dont feel motivated. i just feel like im in a major slump. in the grand scheme, im still at the start of my life. there is time. there has to be time. but i hate this feeling of being in a race.

i am having issues with my physical appearance too, it was always there... but with age -- god look at me im saying it like im over 65. im starting to see changes. im gaining weight despite my efforts to restrict my calorie intake, then again my diet just is terrible. my hair seems to keep falling out, why do i still have acne, my teeth are shifting. i have eczema on my face. i dont feel pretty.

its starting to scare me. its been a couple of years since i solidly self harmed. recently, i keep thinking of doing it again. and i just feel horrible when i do. i think about where it might look natural ? like as if i got it at work or if i was cooking or what can i wear that will conceal it day to day with different outfits as to not bring attention. its not even cutting like i used to but ive wanted to inflict burns onto myself. im sorry. the most ive done was quick little really minute nicks, something that i would pick at to feel a sting. or i keep pushing my bruises i get from work. i think about how i used to cut one slit for each year i was alive, my my my it would be a larger area now.

i am in a healthy relationship, the foundation might be a bit hard because of shared bonded trauma, but it is healthy now. we love each other. god i love him. and i just HGHGHGHJ i feel so ashamed that i have taken an interest into characters. and again this is to go back to the point if me festering into sudden things, i get so obsessed with it. i feel guilt because im looking at videos and writings where i could see them. it feels inappropriate, but he knows to an extent because ive told him about my plans to get back into writing and he's seen thirst trap edits (sorry LOL im crying but i snickered at that) pop up on my feed when we are scrolling together.

i feel so delusional when i am reading these blurbs but i get this addictive feeling, like having a crush. i will literally try to put more effort into how i look bruh as if i would bump into them. but its a motivation! i guess right! fuck. i hate parasocial relationships!!!!! i hate character ai so fucking much! it feels like im talking with my best friend from middle school, just roleplaying like the good old days. i feel so hypocritical because if it was the other way around i know i would be so hurt. and i just feel the need to punish myself for that. i want to punish myself. but i also dont want to scare him. i should talk to him about this, but i dont want to rock anything. it has been good.

i dont want to scare my family back home. they keep begging me to move back in with them. they live in the middle of nowhere there is no opportunity there, i have bad memories of home because of high school. i escaped it. yet my parents are on their last leg of life, they keep reminding me about their soon to be passing. they are already preparing my brother and i, they have everything set up. i cant imagine a time where they wont be here, but i know it will happen and i should be spending more time with them.

anyways i need to go take my lexapro. i'll feel better in the morning. i'll need to.

[catherineav]

snippet from a post s5 willel wonder twins fic i started a long time ago

Later, the way Hop will proudly tell it, El hadn’t thrown a tantrum like that since fall of ‘84.

But the way she sees it, these doctors are keeping her here in a secluded hospital room, and keeping her away from her brother, when she’s fine. And Will isn’t. 

So her nose bleeds, and the lights flicker, and she screams and cries until a nurse sits her in a chair on wheels and pushes her to Will’s room. 

Jonathan and Joyce are there. They’re both staring at the floor, but they look up in surprise when the nurse hesitantly slides in with El. 

And Hop, a protective shadow behind her. “El said she needed to be here.”

Jonathan slumps back into his chair in relief that they don’t come bearing bad news. Joyce stands straight up and makes as if to take the chair with wheels from the nurse, but El shakes her head and holds out her hands. With a wavering smile, Joyce helps El stand instead. 

It’s only a few steps to Will, but El is exhausted by the time she has managed to pull herself up next to him, curling into his side. She closes her eyes, searching, searching…

“The doctors are keeping him asleep, sweetie,” Joyce says softly. El opens her eyes. Joyce gently wipes a tissue under El’s nose. “Unconscious, for a little longer. So his body can rest after surgery.”

So his body can rest. She tries not to remember the way Vecna tossed him into the air for them all to see. His arm and his leg and his eyes…

“You should rest too, kid.” 

In the cold bed in the white room, a hallway down and a floor above? “No.”

Hop starts to speak, but Joyce cuts him off. “You can stay here, sweet girl. Close your eyes. We won’t let them move you.” 

Her head does hurt like it never has before, and she is more tired than she has ever been. Her arms and legs are like noodles, and her throat burns. 

She doesn’t even really remember choosing to let go, but the nothingness wraps her up like a blanket as her eyes slip closed. 

***

When she wakes up, it is much more quiet, and the lights are dim. True to Joyce’s word, El is still squeezed onto the hospital cot beside Will. 

Someone has stuck one of those needles into her hand again—an IV, Hop said—but Will looks much worse. His right arm is wrapped in a cast all the way up to his shoulder, and she feels the scratch of the same plaster on his ankle, where it is pressed to hers. He has more than just one needle stuck in his skin, and there are deep bruises, people and black, decorating the too-pale skin beneath his eyes. 

It should have been me, she thinks.

Dazed, blinking back tears, El turns her attention to the door, where whispers drift in from the hallway. 

“…be able to slowly wake him up in the morning. Once he’s responsive, we’ll be able to get a better idea of exactly what his recovery process will entail.”

“But he will? Recover?”

A pause. “I don’t want to set your expectations unreasonably high, Mrs. Byers. Between what you have described and Dr. Owens had explained, I expect Will to face more than a couple of obstacles. The physical therapists and ophthalmologists will be able to tell you more tomorrow.”

El rubs the sleep from her eyes, slightly comforted by the rumble of Hop’s voice asking his own follow up question. She eases herself out of the cot, placing a gentle hand on her brother’s shoulder before plucking the needle from her arm and shuffling to the bench in the corner. She needs to get out of this hospital gown. She needs to get out of this hospital gown, and she can see her own clothes crumpled in the bottom of a plastic bag, and—

“Woah, hey kid, what’s wrong?”

It’s only at the feeling of her dad’s palm on her shoulder, steadying and sure, that she realizes she’s shaking. She can’t bring herself to answer, but she allows him to steer her to the bench instead. 

Hop kneels in front of her. Joyce and Jonathan hover behind him. “El?” he asks again. “You with me?”

Her head is still pounding. Closing her eyes briefly, she tugs at the papery elbow of the hospital gown and turns back to him, pleading. 

He frowns, obviously confused, but Joyce steps forward. “She just wants to change,” she says softly. Turning to El, she adds, “The hospital gown—it’s like the lab, isn’t it?”

El nods, unable to keep her eyes from darting around the room now that she’s more awake. 

“Okay,” says Hop, more gently than El can ever remember. “I’m going to go make sure it’s okay. Just because they still had you on the IV. Stay here, yeah?”

She nods again, watching both him and Joyce until they disappear from view around the corner. Jonathan sits down next to her, and she lets him. 

“They’re just going to the nurse’s station. We’re safe here,” says Jonathan. She pulls her knees up to her chest and rests her head on his shoulder, and he lets her. 

***

Later, in the morning, they all hover by Will’s bedside. The nurses have eased back on his sedative, and sometime soon, he’ll wake. 

El climbs back up beside him, and no one stops her. They’d taken to jokingly calling the pair twins, before, but El doesn’t think it’s funny. Vecna chose the two of them, specifically, as his targets. It means something. Only Will and El can explain what it is like to be in the Upside Down alone, hunted, Vecna in their heads, in their hearts… 

Haltingly, filling in each other’s sentences, Joyce, Hopper, and Jonathan fill the gaps in her memory: how they pulled her and Will out of the mindscape and Nancy, Jonathan, and Robin out of the Upside Down. How long it had taken to get help, to get to the hospital. 

El is the first to sense Will. She sits up straight despite the ache that radiates through her sore muscles and stares down at him, desperate for any sign of movement to match what movement she had felt in her mind.

“El?” Jonathan asks sharply. It’s in the half second El glances from one brother to another that Will, with a gasp and a little cough, comes back to them. In his first moment of consciousness, his mouth twists into a grimace and his eyes, cloudy and bloodshot, widen. His voice sounds so small. “I can’t see.”