#ive been afraid to express my emotions because I thought I'd get asks like these. I guess I wasn't wrong

[dreastmilk]

if you have problems with dreams characterization in fics or you’re angry that there’s no smut or dream centric fics recently. Write your own fucking fics. authors are going to write what they’re interested in. it’s not our job to write whatever You Want.

-dnf authors everywhere

aaaand this is why I didn't want to say anything. I don't even know what brought this on right now.

listen. I'm not mad that there's no smut fics recently. I never said that. I don't know where this is coming from. While I am sad, this is less because there's no new smut "content" (which I don't even like calling it that) but more because we're in a recovery period. People have left. Those who have stayed are cautious. I wish we could go back to before, when we weren't stressed about this stuff.

dream centric stuff. I'm a drolo. I've shouted it to the heavens and back. I get sad because people aren't focused on dream so much as george. It's a phenomenon I don't fully understand to be honest, but almost all of the "popular" cc writers (and artists) are 1. into dnf and 2. portray dnf in a way that reminds me of a straight couple. where dream is (more often) the big strong guy who takes care of the smaller more feminine george. it's either george pov or its dream taking care of george. I'm not saying that recent, truly dream-centric fics don't exist (although I haven't really seen any). I'm not saying "authors should write what I want." I'm not saying that dream isn't also seen for his more "feminine" attributes.

I'm just saying that the most popular trends right now tend to upset me, since I love dream. I love seeing him, I love reading about him, I love seeing him (FICTIONALLY) go through struggles, and I love seeing him get taken care of. But that's not what people are writing or drawing. They care more about george. and it's the thing that's popular, that gets spread around more, that I keep on seeing on my dash.

If I had the time and ability to write fics that catered to me, I probably would. But they'd only cater to me. Maybe a few people would be interested as well, but the wider fandom doesn't want to see it. Or they wouldn't care enough. And when trying to find yourself or enjoy yourself in a community, that sucks. It's disheartening. Disappointing. I appreciate and try to share the people who are posting the same kind of stuff I like, but we're a small group.

Honestly, I'm not sure most dnf writers give a shit about any of this though. They do what they want. I'm not complaining directly to them about it. Not sure why you're attacking me about this now. Am I not allowed to be sad at not seeing content I enjoy?

[cosmicsnowcryptid]

Hey, erm so i was wondering if you could help with something. So i have a crush on a guy and ive told him i like him but he wont really acknowledge it. I was thinking maybe i'd end the schoolyear tomorrow by telling him face to face. Im not sure if I should, or rather, if I did, what to say. Any advice? -Hailey

Why, hello, Hailey! I’m glad you trusted a fellow Hailey with this. We’ve got to stick together out there, you know.

I actually can offer you some advice that may help, as someone who screwed it up many years ago. 

First of all: don’t write it in his yearbook.

I know you probably weren’t considering that, but I wanted to throw that out there just in case. Don’t do it. It’s the actual worst course of action. Just, don’t. Years later, when you’ve moved on with your life, you’ll still occasionally have a 2 am crisis over your own stupidity, and feel the need to write a letter saying, “I’m sorry, Dylan, that was the weirdest way anyone has ever handled anything, and I am still upset that I did it, because I also pushed too hard on the paper and it made the nib of my pen go in and it was one of my favorite pens, and I want you to know that while the romantic interest has faded, my embarrassment never did.” Exactly like that. With the same kind of run-on sentences and everything.

Ahem.

Anyway.

The best advice I can give you will sound stupid, but it’s the truth: 

Tell him about your feelings, and tell him what you’re feeling about your feelings.

I know, I know. But hear me out.

You don’t WANT to try and play it smooth. People value authenticity. Every time a guy has been too smooth when asking me out, I am suspicious, because I think he must have done this a lot and I’m just another person on a list. (I was always right, by the way.) The best people I’ve ever dated have been a little flustered about asking me, because they like me and don’t want to mess it up. The little blush? The stutter? The struggle to find the right words? When they’re genuine, they can be very endearing. So, while you don’t want to become a TOTAL mess, don’t try to hide that you’re nervous and don’t know what to say.

In fact, the boy I remember most fondly said it something like this: “I don’t really know how to say this, but I just wanted you to know that I like you. I think you’re really clever and kind, and I would really like to take you out for hot chocolate sometime. It’s alright if you don’t want to, or don’t feel the same way. I just wanted to tell you.”

And of course, I dated the heck out of that boy.

He just vocalized his thought process in a coherent way, and it was sincere and sweet. No over-complimenting, no pick-up lines- he just told me how he felt, said some things he genuinely liked (that had nothing to do with appearance), and politely expressed his desire to spend more time with me if I felt the same.

That’s really all it takes, dear. You can tell him that you don’t know how to say things, or that you’re a little nervous, or that you’re afraid to sound stupid. Being genuine and clear in your intentions and feelings is the most important thing.

Now, here’s the point where Mama Hailey has to give you a warning and say that it may not work out. He may not feel the same way, and you may be rejected. If so, it’s okay to feel gross and cry and have a meltdown- but wait until you’re not around him. Smile and thank him for his honesty. Breaking down in front of him will ruin your platonic relationship for good, and fill him with extreme guilt to boot. And as long as he said it nicely, he shouldn’t feel guilty! He decided it was better to tell you the truth than to lead you on, and that’s a good and responsible thing to do. Respond to kindness with kindness.

Don’t think this is me encouraging you to hide your emotions, by the way- they are valid, and you need to let yourself feel them. But I AM telling you that you should be wise about where and when you express them, both for the sake of others and for yourself. Emotional control is just as important as acknowledging the validity of your emotions. It’s a skill that will be crucial in the real world, and will save you a lot of heartache in the future.

Keeping that warning in mind, it is always worth your while to be honest. The worst thing that will come of this situation is that you will be in the same place you are now- not having any sort of romantic relationship with him. If you don’t try, that’s DEFINITELY what will happen. With those odds, the choice is pretty clear on this one.

If it goes poorly, handle yourself with grace, and when you get home, throw on your sweat pants and eat some ice cream if you want. If it goes well, congratulations! Do a little happy dance! Either way, you’ve overcome a hurdle and you have a clearer picture of where you stand, and that’s never a waste of your time.

I wish you the best of luck, dear! I’m rooting for you!