#ive barely scratched the surface and im already starting to get those Looks that i haven't gotten since middle school
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oughhhghh where is that "don't trust anything you think abt your life past 9pm" post when you need it
#its ''feel like an alien'' hours once again#recently ive been trying to unmask a little bit but even that tiny bit is like. breaking the dam of how weird i am#ive barely scratched the surface and im already starting to get those Looks that i haven't gotten since middle school#i wouldn't mind masking at work if i could just figure out how the hell to correctly bounce back questions#like the 10 year old in me gets so desperate to talk about herself in a genuine fashion that i can't stop myself#unless i am 100% masking. like even a little bit less and i overshare like an idiot#i dont really care to learn body language yet but i need to know how to refuse to answer personal questions#without making it weird#like allistics seem to just Know how to carefully roll with those questions without actually saying anything#''you should be genuine bc you'll feel better'' there is very little that makes me feel worse than oversharing at work#i work with conservatives baby. a little oversharing here and there leads to them finding shit out abt me that they WILL use against me#and i do not trust myself enough to not actually tell them in the moment because i can't fucking lie to save my life#when someone asks me a genuine question i just can't do anything other than offer a genuine answer#and i want to stop ! i dont feel comfortable sharing these things about myself so why wont i shut my fucking mouth!!!!!#i need to learn to let people simmer in silence. i am always too focused w filling the silence to prevent people seeing how weird i am#its always another little fucking quip with me. i can never just shut my fucking mouth#sorry#vent
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hi it's your secret santa! first of all HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! i hope you have a wonderful day! how are you celebrating, if you are at all? safely, i hope! either way i hope you manage to find a way to have a great day full of love!! consider my christmas gift a belated birthday gift as well lol. anyway i loved reading your last answer, it was so thoughtful and sweet. i realized after reading that i barely know anything about dove lol so follow up q: what about dove makes you love her so much?
sorry for the late response! the last couple days have been v busy and ive been super tired and dissociative on top of it so i made a point to save this bc i wanted to give it my full attention!
first of all thank you!! i was going to do a virtual meet and greet with one of my favs from jersey boys but he got confused about timezones so we rescheduled but were doing it next week! then i went to a virtual walt disney family museum panel, had pizza for dinner and watched some liv and maddie, my mom made a cookie cake that we ate while watching the grinch musical, and then some friends and i watched the jersey boys movie together over skype!
im so glad you enjoyed reading my last answer! and oof thats another loaded question (i love it tho)
- like i said when first talking about what drew me to her and liv and maddie, a big thing is just how much passion and love she puts into her characters. ofc she puts passion into every character she plays, but its the passion she puts into characters like liv, maddie, and mal that means the most to me. that goes back to the fact that ive dealt with a lot of negativity directed towards me for enjoying disney channel, and then you have dove out here saying “yah im a teenager/twenty-something who not only respects what theyre doing on disney channel, but puts my all into it” not to mention she even won an emmy for playing liv and maddie in season 4! i hope that passion and talent has started to change the conversation about disney channel, and tbh i think it has at least a bit. ofc, none of this is to say other people her age acting on disney channel arent talented and passionate, but idk, something about her has always stood out to me. i find her to be more animated and expressive than most. it can be hard for me to read emotions in live action movies and shows, so thats been really important for me. not to mention she was not only playing the lead but TWO lead characters on a four season show with distinct personalities but also subtle similarities. AND the main character in the biggest DCOM franchise in years for 5 years running now. PLUS the fact that there was a period where those were both happening at the same time. she was only 16 when she started all this and hadnt even had any big roles prior to it!! she had a lot of responsibility so it was amazing to see her not only pull it off, but excel at it.
- i just love like....her aesthetic?? shes always seemed to be a very old soul to me, into old jazz music and poetry and stuff like that. its just very charming. and for her to have that aesthetic on top of being a disney channel actress is a fascinating juxtaposition.
- this is kind of sappy and it gets tiring to hear it said over and over again but that doesnt mean it isnt true: i love how transparent she is about her struggles with mental health issues, trauma, and such. she has been for a long time but even more so over the last year or two. no shade to anyone else, but a lot of actors dont really give you a look into their personal lives, they just share and promote their product. im not saying theres anything wrong with that, its good to know what youre comfortable sharing, ive just felt all the more close to her with her being as open as she is, especially as someone who has gone through trauma myself, albeit different from hers.
- kind of connected to that, i love how important spreading kindness, positivity, and love is to her. thats another thing thats been said a million times but still, its very important to me.
for example. she’ll randomly tweet things like “i love you” a lot. im one to always think of the thought process that goes on behind whatever someone posts, texts, etc., bc personally i put a lot of a thought into pretty much anything i say or do before i put it out there publicly, probably bc of my social anxiety. even tho its a simple statement and takes her a couple seconds to post, she still had to have the thought “i want to remind my fans that theyre loved” or something along those lines. and she has this thought FREQUENTLY. to just randomly get a notification every few days or weeks or so of her saying something like that is just very heartwarming to me.
the reason i connected with miley so much when she helped me through my initial trauma was bc it felt like even if no one loved me, she loves her fans, thus she loves me. thus the person i love and admire the most loves me. even if its only one person, it can be enough. it was for me at the time. i feel that same way with dove. when she came into my life, i didn’t feel as unloved, but her love was still helpful to me.
- of course i need to specifically talk about her kindness in person too. dont get me wrong (ive been saying that a lot havent i lol), i totally and completely loved her long before i met her, but naturally, i love her 10x more after the experiences ive had getting to know her in person.
i could go ONNNNNNN about the experiences ive had with her, and i have lol, and if you already heard me ramble about this in the server i apologize, but the most important thing ive taken away from every encounter ive had with her is this: she always goes the extra mile. she always goes out of her way to make people feel special. what i mean by that is she could say/do HALF as much as she has when meeting me and i would still leave over the moon feeling loved. you can tell she does this in excess bc she really truly means it and cares about people like me, she doesnt have any kind of ulterior motive and isnt just going through the motions doing whats asked of her, she simply cares about me and the rest of her fans. some examples - the first time we met, i was sobbing (lol) and she hugged me for a really long time, rocking me back and forth, brushing my hair with her thumb, calling me sweetheart and honey. she even started to tear up a bit herself. - a couple months later, i went to my first liv and maddie taping. i was preparing to reintroduce myself (i looked a little different bc id been cosplaying as maddie the first time i met her) and ofc when preparing myself, i fantasized pretty heavily as i usually do and pictured myself showing her the pic of us on my phone, her gasping, jumping out of her chair screaming, and hugging me, thinking that was probably way more than i was gonna get. that is EXACTLY what happened. then she went on to tell me how my costume made her whole weekend. things like this would continue to happen where i would set the bar impossibly high and not only would she meet it but she’d exceed it. - our usual interaction from there on would start with her face lighting up when she saw me, her calling me some kind of cute name like love or baby, and then hugging me without me even having to initiate it. - when i saw her in mamma mia, i didnt know when id be seeing her again afterwards after pretty consistently getting to see her for 2 years, so i wanted to make sure we got some kind of closure. at the stage door, i reminded her how much she meant to me and just expected like an “aww i love you too” or something back, but she said “you are an angel in my life” and i will never forget that. obvs, i havent told her ALL the details about what she and her characters mean to me but like...she can tell. she can tell if im in a homemade maddie costume sobbing into her arms that theres something there, and shes VERY appreciative of that. - i thankfully got to see her at a meet and greet a few months later and every time i thought i should get going cuz i didnt want to hold the line up, she would just open her arms for another hug. speaking of being appreciative, she even said “thank you for being such a supportive fan.” as i left, i turned around to say one last goodbye. i made sure she wasnt with the next fan yet and yelled out “bye!” and she yelled back “I LOVE YOU!!” and blew me a kiss. again, its the little things. - i saw her at a small panel in new york a few months after that. she walked in the room when the lights were down as they were playing a clip, she quietly waved hi to everyone, then saw me and loudly whispered HI BABY!!! and stopped on her way to the stage to give me a hug. (then she looked at me from the stage and asked which way i thought she should cross her legs for the interview lol) - sometimes when she sees im next in line, shell give me a knowing smile or whisper “hi baby!!” or something like that. she saw me in the crowd after clueless and seemed to make a point to come to me last bc she knew wed be talking for a while, which we did. she even told me she’d seen me in the audience, asking if i was in the front on the left, which i was.
even all that is still just scratching the surface. weve “known” each other for 5 years now and every time i think she’s done the most she can do, she outdoes herself again. not to mention when im at these events, i see her treat all the fans she meets with all of that kindness too. naturally all of this has made me love her all the more.
- finally, lets just be honest here..........................shes REALLY fucking hot.
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December 20th, 2018 CTP Archive
The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on December 20th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PST. The chat focused on Goddess of Paradise by Dee S. / Beedee.
Featured Comment:
Chat:
RebelVampire
COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!
Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Goddess of Paradise by Dee S. / Beedee~! (http://paradise.bluedubia.com/)
Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!
QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?
my favorite scene so far i think is when eridu runs into ekka. it was nice to see a character actually be happy to see her after a slew of eridu running into charas who dont really care all that much. and i just think its a good balance in general to all the hard truths eridu has woken up to.
although my second favorite scene admittedly is probably when she meets amun. just cause amun is gonna win all those awards for being lazy and laid back
but in general i liked how casually amun reveals that nah bro, its been 1200 years of slumber. as if its no big deal (which tbf for gods probably kind of isnt to a degree but still XD)
mathtans
My favourite scene was near the start of Chapter 4, with the human encounter. In large part because there was mention of a "dead human", making me think "wow that took a dark turn"... then it turned out she wasn' t dead and there was the whole "ick" factor, that wasn't dark at all.
Nice sort of twist, is I guess what I'm saying.
I also do like the Ekka scene though. In part because of my tendency to enjoy yuri ships.
RebelVampire
ah that was a hilarious moment. where eridu is basically treating the priestess like shes some dead insect or roadkill. but i also like within the comedy you see a really blunt and significant view into how she views humans
mathtans
Amun was cool, it was a good way to advance the plot, I'm not always keen on the laid back types though, heh.
Yeah, roadkill's kind of a good word the way that happened. ^.^
It's really interesting the way it's developed in first person overall too.
Reminds me a bit of a picture book, but the first person is a different take on that too.
RebelVampire
for the record you mean 2nd person. first person is "I do this thing" second person is "you do this thing"
but yeah this is probably the first 2nd person comic ive run into. im interested to see where it goes cause 2nd person is generally the more difficult pov to make work but theres also a lot of potential for creative stuff
mathtans
Oh yeah... that type of person.
Totally. I'm not sure how else you'd do it either, aside form having captions blocking the art. So this works.
RebelVampire
yeah it does work. although i also like that the comic has tons of silent moments that just let the visuals speak for themselves. because these are definitely some gorgeous visuals!
mathtans
That's true too. Also neat how some things stay the same while characters or other items appear.
RebelVampire
yeah it really helps draw your focus.
another scene i really like is when eridu shows up back on the island and all the green sprouts. cause its beautiful imagery. but im also haunted with questions about what happened to those two people who were watching
mathtans
Oh yeah, that was great. Goddess of amazing entrances or the like - though we saw the real one later on. ^.^ In retrospect, I feel like that made sense too, with humans being a footnote that she hadn't even expected to be there.
Though I do wonder about them too.
Maybe they were worshippers.
RebelVampire
maybe. although thatd be ironic if that sudden overgrowth killed them then
died for their beliefs
worshipped too hard
mathtans
True. Though I'm not sure death will really be a thing in the comic.
Feels like that was averted.
RebelVampire
maybe. id for sure say there probably wont be onscreen death.
probably
well violent death
mathtans
Unless it's one of the older gods maybe.
RebelVampire
QUESTION 2. After a 1200 year slumber, the Goddess Eridu finds the world quite different. Besides people being on her island, what else do you think will be a culture shock for Eridu? Do you think she’ll be able to adjust to all the changes, or will she refuse to accept them and continue to try to return the status quo? What do you think the other divine aspects have been up to over the years? Do you think more will be glad to see Eridu, like Ekka, or will more act like Amun and not care? Do you believe Eridu will manage to gain back her divine powers, or will something prevent her? Overall, how do you think this journey might change Eridu’s perspective on her divinity, on humans, or anything else? What will that change (or lack of change) mean for Eridu’s future actions?
mathtans
I wonder if technology exists on a world where Gods/Goddesses are just wandering around.
RebelVampire
depends on how we want to define technology. like for instance back when the world was young a loom would technically count as technology just cause it was a machine for advanced tasks.
im gonna laugh if eridu gets to a village and like theres electric lights everywhere. and she flips a light switch on and off wondering how humans came upon such magic and which god gave it to them
i feel regardless technology would advance
since if eridu can be considered a look into the average god/goddess than they probably mostly just ignore humans
unless theyre like "man i feel like being worshipped today"
mathtans
Well, that's a fair point. I guess I feel like if you can just ask a god to turn on the lights, there's not much need to do the inventing.
I also kind of wonder if one of the divine aspects is what put Paradise to sleep in the first place. Like, maybe was in league with that Enki new God type.
Unless Enki turns out to be a posturing human that the divine aspect was using as a puppet or something.
RebelVampire
dang now thatd be an interesting twist
mathtans
Also, this is a small island in the middle of nowhere. Maybe the mainland is rather different in terms of society.
All about the twists.
RebelVampire
this is also a large possibility. i considered that too. that whatever the island is it might not be representative of the world. honestly it could be argued the island has more old world values even cause theyre the only ones with a shrine left
Beedee
ahhh sorry I'm late! I'm reading up. hello people!
RebelVampire
hello~!
but yeah the twist, i just wouldnt think itd be possible cause the divine aspects are like parts of herself. so itd be hard to imagine one getting powerful enough to oust her. but that is what would make a twist like that so interesting cause it seems so unlikely
i think as far as the aspects though were gonna meet more amun's than ekka's XD not necessarily as laid back as amun, but more like they moved on in life/got bored
mathtans
Might not be old world values as much as it's just new gods have taken over everywhere and they haven't gotten around to dealing with the island yet.
I kinda thought about the parts of self thing... but isn't there a part of ourselves that we sometimes hate, and wish we could get rid of? And the Goddess doesn't seem like she'd be the nicest person to that part of herself, maybe. Though who knows, I may be way off.
I wonder if some of the others might also be asleep, or be serving other goddesses or something.
RebelVampire
the impression im getting is theyre all in their inner sanctums. so cant exactly serve anyone if theyre stuck there. and i also doubt they would cause i dont get the impression they think eridu is dead
thats like declaring loyalty to the assistant manager while the manager is on vacation
mathtans
Maybe they left voicemail at the inner sanctum and are wandering sans powers?
Fair enough though. There'd need to be incentives.
RebelVampire
but idk i mean could be possible
theres a lot of room for variety cause weve barely scratched the present day surface
Beedee
these are some good theories dang
mathtans
Also not sure how her perspectives will change... given how a few days can't wipe out decades of personality. Would need something monumental.
RebelVampire
i like to think shell at least come to view humans differently. or her role cause generally losing powers has the effect of humbling some one
QUESTION 3. The largest mystery presented in the story is why Eridu slept for so long. Who do you think forced Eridu (and her spirit aspects) away from the physical plane? What do you think the reasons were? Was it someone trying to do away with Eridu, or was it for some larger, greater good purpose? Does whoever Enki is have something to do with it? Or is Enki just some innocent bystander who was mistakenly identified as the one who created Eridu’s island? What do you think will happen when Eridu finally runs into Enki? Also, considering Eridu was already forced away from the realm, do you believe this could easily happen to her again? What is stopping the culprit from banishing Eridu back?
mathtans
(I think I'm belatedly realizing that's the creator. )
RebelVampire
lol thats okay math. yes @Beedee is the creator
mathtans
Losing powers can do that. I wonder if flying is a thing with other gods.
Beedee
haha yes I am~
mathtans
I feel like Enki is more an opportunist than the one who engineered everything or totally innocent. Though we've yet to meet him.
Kind of like the Wizard of Oz, in a way?
RebelVampire
i definitely think thats a distinct possibility. im on the page enki isnt this malicious entity and i dont think enki is responsible for what happened to eridu
mathtans
I do feel like Goddess will get all up in his face though.
RebelVampire
but maybe enki is no one. maybe hes just some human who found the island and said "hey my dudes lets live here this island is great." and then as history usually goes stories got exaggerated and eventually a human of great deeds became a god
mathtans
Oooh, maybe. Like, he doesn't actually exist anymore but put lots of things in place so people wouldn't realize that. (Makes me think of some societies from Star Trek.)
RebelVampire
yeah or something. but i could go either way. or it could be a combo of both
either way i dont think enki is responsible
to me it seems more likely kur is responsible at this point
for kicking eridu out of the physical planes
cause he needed her for things later
tho its curious she doesnt remember getting kicked out at all
Beedee
I find it interesting that you both get a vibe that enki isn't responsible even though he hasn't shown up yet :0
mathtans
I guess I just feel like that's too obvious of a solution. Goddess blaming the person who's actually behind it. I expect a twist, like how there weren't originally humans on the island.
I hadn't considered Kur as having a part in it. That's interesting.
Beedee
heh, fair
mathtans
Crazy theory time, the Priestess human is actually a God in disguise!
RebelVampire
yeah im with math. enki is the obvious choice. thus more likely a red herring. which could be wrong. maybe enki is all bwahahaha i have taken over
the priestess was responsible!
mathtans
Who has lost her memory and forgets.
Enki could also be the one behind it, but he was told to do it by Kur, or someone else.
Incidentally, I like the map feature. That's clever. Tracking the path over the island.
Beedee
ahh thanks!
mathtans
(I mean, story guide, not really a feature, but still.)
I often go to those pages, I'm rubbish with names.
RebelVampire
even if i remember the names i love those sorts of pages for spellings. cause i read a lot of comics and its hard to remember how to spell everyone's name even if i know what it is XD
mathtans
That's fair. Also neat how it's being developed over time.
RebelVampire
i like to think the reason eridu was sent away was not to do away with her. like maybe eridu did something bad she doesnt remember (or didnt consider bad). like flood some other god's island that got too close to hers. only that island was heavy populated already.
mathtans
Oh, that's a thought. Or maybe someone else did something bad and she wanted to forget it. Said sleep until I don't remember, didn't realize that'd take a few centuries.
RebelVampire
QUESTION 4. Eridu’s arrival seems to coincide with several “coincidences” within the story. Why was the Dragon-God Kur also slumbering for at least 1000 years? Is it somehow related to Eridu, or was it for a separate reason? Why has Kur woken up early? Also, what is Ekka making for Kur that he even goes to the effort of sending Eridu to help get it? Further, we see a few other gods talking about Kur. Why is Shulsa seeking out Kur so desperately? What exactly could go “badly” that Zida leaves to prepare for it? Also, who is Daiard looking to settle a score with? Lastly, why do you think the priestess of Enki was conveniently near where Eridu crashed? Was that just a coincidence, or was she there for a related reason to Eridu?
Beedee
good question
mathtans
Kur forgot to hit the snooze alarm. Or whatever the equivalent is. (Oh, maybe that's what they were bringing to him...) I'm also not sure what to make of the interlude. Does make it clear that there are other Gods around, the Priestess wasn't making things up or delusional or something.
Maybe Enki told the Priestess to go there because of all the vegetation.
RebelVampire
i think the interlude does kind of prove other gods are around.
now that im thinking of it
mathtans
Yeah, helps to flesh out the island.
RebelVampire
kur just woke up from a 1000 year slumber and the first thing he does is to sit down and kind of take a nap before eridu shows up
which i identify with
maybe the 1000 years is just normal for kur
thats just how long he sleeps
his 8 hours so to speak
Beedee
I will quickly say: yeah that's just how long he sleeps
mathtans
I kinda got that impression from the fact that they knew when he'd be awake. More or less.
Though it could have been a prophecy or something.
RebelVampire
man i wanna sleep for 1000 years
so jealous
mathtans
Incidentally, I liked how Kur was built up to be this ancient amazing entity, worthy of awe, only to have Paradise say, yeah, nevermind that nonsense.
Beedee
haha
at the end of this session, if you are up for spoilers, I'd actually be willing to show the WIP last panels of this chapter for a short amount of time. it explains some of Kur and Ekka's deal haha
mathtans
Aw, it's not Ekka and the Goddess jumping on a mattress?
Beedee
maybe in a side comic lmao
mathtans
I was amused by the reaction to the failed stripping too.
RebelVampire
i enjoyed eridu's disappointment that they werent gonna have sex. just cause it was so blunt. XD
mathtans
Like, ow, my chest. And yeah, that upped the rating, I think
RebelVampire
maybe daiard also hates enki. cause to me the obvious choice is eridu. so im gonna go with enki. everyone is gonna join forces and go after enki
and enki is gonna be like "hey friends would yoou like some tea"
Beedee
haha
to be honest
mathtans
Enki, actually God of Tea.
Beedee
daiard was a dumb callback to the beginning of chapter 2, that became worldbuilding(edited)
mathtans
New crazy theory: Goddess actually ends up putting herself to sleep in the past because the divine can mess with space-time.
RebelVampire
thats brain hurting
Beedee
oh gosh
mathtans
It was all a plan to help her become more grateful, or something.
RebelVampire
hmm, this actually makes me remember that eridu thought shed been sleeping to recharge. maybe there is no villain. maybe eridu just overexerted herself to the point she forced her own self back
shes gonna go on a long quest only to find out she was the villain all along
Beedee
future Eridu goes back in time to punch herself in the face
(thisisajoke)
mathtans
Hah! I could see that though, like "shape up, self".
Also, recharging could be a thing. Maybe she just needs a good nap to be able to fly again too.
RebelVampire
nope this is canon now. future eridu very wise. /shot
i hope she finds the flying having divine aspect soon and gets her powers back. cause man those inner sanctums seem really inconvenient to navigate
cause i dont think ekka's was any better than amun's
ekka's was just more convenient cause a plant taxi picked eridu up
Beedee
true
the sanctums are all awful to navigate on foot
but I like drawing environments lmao
RebelVampire
they are beautiful environments too. i really enjoy the contrast between ekka and amun's sanctums
mathtans
Anyway, this comic does hit a lot of the things I enjoy, from an interesting narrative style to great environments... and some romance too. (edited)
Beedee
thank you ovo
mathtans
Maybe Ekka and Priestess are the real ship.
RebelVampire
COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!
Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Dee S. / Beedee, as well, for making Goddess of Paradise. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Dee S. / Beedee’s efforts however you’re able to~!
Read and Comment: http://paradise.bluedubia.com/
Dee S. / Beedee’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bluedubia
Dee S. / Beedee’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/bluedubia
Dee S. / Beedee’s itch.io store: https://bdubia.itch.io/
Dee S. / Beedee’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Beedeebia
Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club
Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Inhibit by Eve Greenwood / evegwood. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, December 27th, from 5PM to 7PM PST for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!
Comic’s Main Site: http://www.inhibitcomic.com/
Comic’s Webtoons Mirror: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/inhibit/list?title_no=40462
Comic’s SmackJeeves Mirror: http://www.smackjeeves.com/comicprofile.php?id=147115
#ctparchive#comics#webcomics#indie comics#comic chat#comic discussion#book club#bookclub#webcomic book club#webcomic bookclub#comic tea party#ctp#goddess of paradise#beedee#dee s.
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