#its unfortunately hard to read nuance when you're talking about something triggering. at least it is for me idk.

[snekdood]

im sorry that i had to block you because this topic is pretty triggering for me and I was worried you were going to be like “all content is fine” and didn’t want to be around that energy. I usually try not to knee jerk react like that but in this case it was hard due to my trauma. I can tell this is going to be a hard conversation for me for that reason. and before i even talk about it i wanna say- idk anything about antis or proshippers or whatever tf bc i dont care about fandom stuff and I agree with your other post that reducing it to fandom nonsense is stupid bc I think it ignores actual meaningful conversations around this.

im also sorry if my comment made it sound like I was downplaying your experience with (still assuming: a community within?) tetris, I read your comment as if the game itself was the issue and not the (supposed? im sorry i just dk about your history in this regard (or if there was a community or what)) community, and I get your point but I’d argue colorful blocks =/= cp in its ability to harm people and its a rocky comparison imo. i do genuinely believe drawn images can harm people, even the person drawing it. but regardless, i’m sorry if I made your experience sound trivial, as that wasn’t my intention.

back into the subject though: i do think having stuff like that online is harmful. i agree a lot of the issue is adult spaces mixing with kids spaces, but I really do struggle to believe that seeing something like rape being glorified doesnt effect people, even if they’re adults. no people aren’t gonna go “whelp, time to rape people” as soon as they read something like that, but exposure over time to explicitly non con (not consentual non con) stuff i think does alter your perception of whats “okay”. its in fact the reason id argue my abusive ex ended up thinking its fine to cross peoples boundaries, because of how many times they repeatedly encountered that stuff either online or in their own art after discovering it online.

i just dont buy this idea that fiction never effects reality. fiction that glorifies certain actions without making it clear its bad in some way will embolden people. and while i dont think someone just. plays grand theft auto and starts shooting everyone and stealing their cars, i do believe it can make someone (subconsciously, obv no one directly thinks like this) questioning if they wanna be violent become violent because of how much “fun” it seems in the games or that it becomes “less of a big deal”.

I dont have a solution for moderating this stuff. and I’m also very against censoring things, I literally have a comic thats about a self insert whos a rape victim and going into that story, but bc I worry people will completely miss the point and end up fetishizing the rape, i’ve decided not to actually add anything in the comic that is directly read as rape, rather just hint at it, because honestly it also effects me on a very real level, it’s very triggering for me to see that kind of imagery (and its already hard for me to write the comic bc of the villain being a rapist and how triggering he is to me) but also because I think it could fundamentally alter someones perception of whats fine, especially if they already hate me.

it’s not like *all* depictions of certain things are bad but it depends on whether or not its glorifying that thing and not making it at all clear that its bad. the stuff i was exposed to as a kid explicitly suggested that it was fine and normal, and id argue a lot of fucked up porn online is that- there’s so much fucked up porn made by (likely) cishet dudes that glorifies raping/torturing/killing anime girls or whatever and I just struggle to believe its just an outlet for what they want to do, like i dont think theyre just “getting it all out” in the image, if anything, i think those drawings they make embolden them more. they draw them because they want to see that stuff happen, not because they want to avoid actually hurting people. i really doubt these dudes, if they had access to a girl they could easily over power, wouldn’t try some of that sort of shit on her, at the very least rape her.

I don’t know what the solution is, but i really do not think we need to make space for dudes like that. and i also think its just factually incorrect to say that fiction never effects reality. of course, fiction is born from reality, but its the fact that that subject material is now being spread to a wider audience that makes it effect reality.

I’m worried when this topic comes up that people think the internet should just be a “free for all” and that “anything should go”, that bc we experience censorship in queer spaces that suddenly means everything should be on the table “because conservatives hate us anyways so why not just let it all loose?”. that people will do a 180 from whatever a conservative does, as if that’s helpful in this instance. I do think theres stuff that shouldn’t be tolerated or accepted in our spaces. not saying you dont agree necessarily but thats my general worry about all of this. I really dont think its as revolutionary as people think to go “conservatives think im a horrible person anyways for being queer so that means fuck it all and all kinks are created equal now”, I really do think theres stuff we need to keep out of our community or at least try to, no matter what conservatives say. I think people really need to figure out how to divorce whatever conservatives think and feel from what they think is the best course of action. just because a conservatives does A doesnt mean we should do B, etc. I think thats an attitude that can actually be easily exploited by the right and used against us.

Idk. I have a lot of thoughts on this. All i know is i never want to encounter cp or the weird rape/torture/killing fetish’s some dudes online have. i also dont think there should be any spaces for that. if people NEED to draw it for whatever reason (gonna be hard to convince me they NEED to, but) then they need to keep it to themselves. i dont think there needs to be communities built around this because those communities specifically with the dudes is gonna breed people who are even more misogynistic and who feel even more entitled to womens bodies since they have so many other guys around them agreeing with them. and no, not letting them build public communities isnt going to change or fix the problem, but it sure as hell will prevent people from having to encounter that shit and have their trauma be retriggered.

I want to be clear that I dont think this is necessarily what you’re advocating for, im not entirely sure what you think is the best course of action, but it feels like thats what some ppl on here thinks is the best solution, and that attitude worries me so much.

i will say though that i dont think the government, at least the current USA christofash one we live under, should be moderating this stuff, because they’re obviously just gonna ban content they disagree with (but thats a whole other topic). I at the very least distrust any of our current governments moves to censor things.

and i have once comment in regards to this comment:

obviously ideally we would live in a world where kids aren’t able to access that stuff, but even so, I really do think theres shit that people just shouldnt be posting, because it does effect other adults negatively too, speaking from experience. its not something i know if we can fully moderate but its something i dont think we should just let slide. i also just dont understand why anyone would feel the need to post their rape porn or whatever, anyways.

I think a lot of the issues around this “censorship” thing really falls back into who’s doing the censoring and why. bc while ppl like me might want to be more nuanced about it, the current people who have more power lean more into puritanism and decide all sexual content is bad. It really does feel like an issue of preventing puritanical christian bs from infiltrating our politics, yet again (its always the puritanical christian bs 🙄) and the ppl holding those values having more power and control over the content. idk. i hope this makes sense, ik its kinda all over the place. and im sorry for kneejerk reacting the way I did initially.

Hey, I'm a big time fan of your blog and the circle of blogs similar to it. I love the pro-kink stuff, I love the support of transfun and the general concept that you can vibe with whatever gender and identity you want, I love the positivity, I love bringing attention to trans masc issues.

But I've been seeing some alarming dogwhistles lately. And I've been ignoring them because I really really want to just believe that they were unintentional. But with a recent post you reblogged, I have to ask you something - not out of discourse reasons or to paint you a specific way but because I want to decide what type of people I interact with on tumblr. If you decide to answer my question, please be incredibly clear. I'm not going to hide it behind vague terms like "certain kinks" or "problematic media", I am going to also be incredibly clear.

Do you genuinely believe that if we were in a society where fictional child porn and incest was the norm, that it would have no negative effects on our society as a whole? That media does not represent or change our cultural norms, that fiction can not be used as either propaganda nor as a way to help someone see things in a new light (for better or worse)?

Please be straightforward in your response. Even if it's just a yes or no.

that's a tough question. a quick but unnuanced answer is that I know the meanings behind these when I reblog them, and I do so because I agree with their general messages

the longer answer is... if these things were the norm then people would definitely be interacting with it differently than they do now I think. in some ways they already are somewhat normal, schoolgirl costumes and step-family roleplay come to mind.

ideally, in a world where these fantasies are completely normalized so is education on consent and safety. I don't think there's any real uncomplicated answer to it. but in the world we live in now, as long as things are labeled and not put into spaces where they're inappropriate, there's not really as much harm as some people just feeling uncomfortable

even if these things magically disappeared entirely (which they won't, and as someone with OCD I'd rather have them labeled than out in the wild), they still aren't the source of harm

I said it earlier, but I was groomed with the game tetris. under this framework of media causing harm, where do you go from there? it's a game about blocks, should we ban it and legos too for good measure?

sorry for talking so much when you wanted a short answer, but there's so much nuance here and I like explaining context instead of putting just a little bit of my thoughts out