#its too late I cant change it
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I'm probably gonna get my butt kicked tomorrow 🙃
#so the girl who first trained me like idk#she was talking to someone and had her elbow on my binder and im like hey excuse me im gonna grab this#and she flat out ignored me and my coworkers were giving me a panicked look like dont do it#and then I slid out my binder from her elbow anyway 🙃#idk I shouldnt have now that i think about it but like#its too late I cant change it#and the two girls she trained after me quit like everyone is afraid of her#yay 🙃🫠#but it WILL be Friday so theres that#but like i did try to tell her and i nudged the binder out a little bit so she would know even if she wasnt listening#idk everyone gets offended really easily here but thats okay
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Columbo and the Knight (1984)
put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.
Autism W!
#columbo#knight rider#art#michael knight#kitt#comic#highlight reel#crossover#telebeast#there are two small easter eggs here. can you find them. they were somehow not Entirely lost when i resized these for the public#this is what i mean when i say I Draw And It's Everyone Else's Problem. look at my INCREDIBLY niche crossover comic boy#if the knight rider fandom has like 12 people in it. how many of y'all have seen columbo#this comic is for like 4 people and me and phoenix are already two of them#niche is my specialty lets be real. weird niche obscure shit and ships nobody's paid attention to yet#not to suggest this is ship art. columbo has his wife and michael has his car lmfao#stylizing real people is EXTREMELY hard btw sorry for when they get off model. its partly a 'better imperfect than never finished' situatio#cant tell you how much i redrew some of these panels. weeps#this took me 2 weeks but i think i thumbnailed it all in may and the ideas been rollin around in my head since march#is anybody good at editing. please edit michael and columbo into an image together like its a screenshot. NOT generated. edited.#it would be so cool#ive drawn columbo a lot but i haven't drawn a lot of michaels. i was learning things about his outfit AS I WAS DOING THE DAMN#COLORS ON THIS. all the lines done. it was too late to change anything. i did all the lines and colored page by page#i realized my mistakes on like page 3. 1 and 2 were already done. it was Too Late.#imagine it though. them working a case together. switching between the more serious tone of columbo vs the goofier#action antics of michael and kitt. columbo being so impressed by Modern Technology. there's more i could say but phoenix may write#more of this crossover and i don't want to spoil it :'3#there's opportunity here though i swear. there's gold to be dug.#i like how kitt gets shading but columbo's junker peugeot doesn't. kitt looked wrong without any. columbo's car is matte and dirty#i also applied effects to this to make it look a little film-grainy and VHS like. some CRT TV vibes#the only question left is. did they put knight rider into columbo; or columbo into knight rider 🤔
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You have nothing to protect? There's no one like that. THE DEVIL JUDGE (2021)
#creations#gifs#kdrama#kdramas#the devil judge#tdj#kang yohan#kim gaon#kang elijah#i am a few years late but im not going to let that stop me u will not be immune to this propaganda (gifs of show)#i liked this colouring when i started but so much time has passed#i may hav changed my mind#but its too late i cant cope with it anymore#u will take The Mansion Family#they all love eachother sm#yohan is especially like that x or draw 25 uno card meme in regards to elijah and gaon fr
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The original in the bottom
Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny
#thats not my neighbor#milk man#just tried to draw something in my mind to post along with saying some updates#monday the people are gonna give my grandma the keys to the house! while i have to stay at my aunts place for wifi for school#(online school)#my moms gonna be moving things out of storage into the house! AAAA I CANT WAIT#also little welcome home update#im not sure if i said here? wait nevermind i just remembered while typing (it was that i got barnaby and the pins) AAA silly me#also im making a little julie out of clay (if i wake up and their messed up i am NOT redoing that😭)#the legs are a little messed up because julie was gonna be the size of an hatsune miku figure on accident so i chose to shorten her a bit#only because im not sure if im gonna make the others too AND because theres no way hes gonna be THAT tall😭#also! im making easter art#yes its barnaby and wally again just for fun! but a few changes like keeping their regular outfits because i cant think of anything else!!!#why not the ones in the old easter drawing? welllll a follower said that wallys outfit looked a bit familiar to another not so good thing#it wasnt on purpose just an accident because i hadn't notice BUT im glad i know now so i can be more careful!#im not sureeee if im gonna finish the easter art OR the julie clay thingy but I'd love too! and honestly HOPE to#high chance i will (well maybe the easter art could be late or not)#maaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA trying to think if theres anything else but cant! ill try posting this hoping my wifi wont hate me...#also i know i said this account was for welcome home posting but i didnt have any cool welcome homey things to put here gahhhhh#ehehehhe once i get my new room and its allllll just me#imma post like crazy (wellll that IS the plan so i hope)#even if its little dumb posts#by the way this post was gonna say on top “i know i said this account is for welcome home posting but TAKE THIS FOR LITTLE UPDATES”#just removed it because i dunnooooo just didded#hehe didded
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I hope someday soon we will live in a world where transgirls can grow up happy and loved
#my chest is so heavy today#every time i think about offing myself i remind myself that i cant change a world im not in#its too late for me#im a more scar tissue that woman at this point#but even if i die a miserable wretch#ill die known i fought to make it a little less hard for those who will come after
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beach episode
(these idiots dont realise theres actually a difference between them)
#also yeah todds pudgy i dont make the rules#I CANT SPELL oh god oh no#dirk “sunscream” gently what the fuck was i doing#oh well too late to change it#its the shampo incident all over again#sunscream….#dghda#dirk gently#todd brotzman#dghda fanart#dirk and his medieval sandals#dirk gently fanart#my comics
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just thought of stamps treatment of elendira again ..no .. NOO
#what the hell did she ever do to them#i saw a twt abt trigun stargaze (?) stamp s2 (?)#and how its 2 yrs after season one and i first got sad bc i was hoping for her og design revival#but then i remembered they made her a CHILD????#& not even that but the ?? what was it . changed her into a half plant prototype ?#canonical trans woman changed into child laboratory experiment like what compelled you to do that.why#no i cant even think ab it too much or i legitimately get upset HELPP#LIKE SHES ONE OF MY FVAORITE CHARACTERS EVER AND THEY RUINED WUITE LITERALLY EVERYTHING THAT I LOVED ABT HER#ugh.xAIHHGGHJHG#elendira#sometimes i wish . soo hard that i could j be normal and like things and have fun#but im such a stickler abt consistency w characters and stories such that any deviation makes me like .no#i cant deal w it HELPPP we need to adhere by character bibles again . we need to maintain the general chronological order of events#wlfwood characterization is a mess across the board and introducing late stage concepts / characters / plot devices early#just messes w the story in irreparable ways imo😭#yess ‘stamp was never meant to be max’ i get it .. but 98 accomplished what stmp couldnt#with 16% the published og materialHELP#all of this AND u made legato ugly as fuck LIKEE GIVE ME SOMETHINGG.? rem too omg..
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this is how it feels to chew 5 gum being a barnaby/howdy enjoyer. im Unwell
#im just staring at a wall rotating them in my brain. constantly. no coherent thoughts theyre just There#its like... hate to Expose myself but yk that one supernatural episode#that was filmed like a mockumentary by the Ghost Hunter Guys. yk the episode with the 'gay love saves the day' quote#yeah yk the scene where the guys are screaming trying to escape cas but everywhere they turn / each door they open Cas Is There#that is also what it feels like being a laughingstock enthusiast#im trying to escape it. i cant. theyre Everywhere.#i go to sleep thinking about them. i wake up and theyre one of my first thoughts#ITS TOO MUCH! theyre too good....#if youre reading this and youre like 'theyre cute but i dont really ship them'#Its Already Too Late.#cause thats how i felt. i thought they were gonna be a silly nonserious concept in the back of my mind#a crackship yk#look at me now...#laughingstock#i thought franklydear was gonna be The Welcome Home Pairing for me#i love them so so so much theyre everything but laughingstock is More. Somehow.#then again! we'll see what new characters and dynamics arise in the future! things may change!#but for now... mentol ellness over the dog and the caterpillar#that sounds like a childrens book lmfao
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Julia Ortega: Blinks Before You Realized
#fhr#chargestep#fhr sidestep#myarts#myanimations#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#no i cant color it bc i did it on procreate (not dreams version)#good lord ignore the fact the lines changed gjdkhghjs i accidentally use a thin brush size and realized too late so leaving it like that JH#its been in my mind for a while now HEEHOO#sidestep: anita lee
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#Reds such a unique and sad character to me#No matter what he does he is in a loop somehow. both actually and mentally.#He wants change - but he's afraid of it - But he NEEDS it - but its too scary.#He wants to be normal - But normal is boring - But its safe.#Too weird for people - too normal for freaks.#He Likes those two - But getting attached hurts. - But he truly does love them - But what if hes the issue? what is HE hurts them.#and thats why i think transport was such a big turning point. because he does hurt them#He tries his best and does what he thinks will be best.#him being alone so he issnt an “Issue”#And them being happy and healthy in a place where thier needs are met. and they dont have to be scared anymore.#but he fails and he hurts them.#His torture here is feeling helpless and whenever he tries it fails to the point he feels awful.#He has such complex and battling emotions they loop in his head over and over. too the point he cant do anything#thus making him a neutral character.#But neutral issnt a Good thing#Yes he doesnt hurt anything. But he doesnt help or comfort either#He is in a loop inside and out.#Hes drowning.#SIIIGHH sometimes it hurts understanding him /hj. (i know theres like a gigillion ways to interpret him lmao.}#im actuly kinda sad i havent seen anyone else have the idea of him being torn apart inside and anxious tho.#or that he sees himself as a big monster. maybe even due to him leaveing before (trying to help but failing again)#or that hes easy to manipulate. thus creating danger for the other two.#But im just yapping and making a comic based on my thoughts :]#(as ive been a lil mentally ill about string man lately.#dhmis#dhmis red guy#dhmis fanart#dhmis comic#dont hug me im scared
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i had to unfollow my ex. it's been hard to come to terms with, but he's just getting worse. I tried to keep him steady and it just got me hurt. I know something as simple and minute as an Instagram presence should mean so little, but it was one of the only tabs I was keeping on him, since I blocked his number. the mourning is hard to bear.
#i know people change but lately he only speaks to me in riddles like literal riddles and hes been so inconsiderate and off and one of the#last times i saw him he brought me flowers and we went to a show and it was so nice just hanging out with him again but hes lost his mind.#and i cant lose mine too trying to gather up the pieces of it#wow. its no wonder im betty
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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podcast people, what do you do whilst listening to your podcasts??
#id be cleaning rn but i brought down the laundry#& there werent any bags upstairs so i just carried the whole basket down#thats what i usually do#i know putting it back in the bags is smarter but i prefer this way okay#anywayss bc there is no laundry basket i have no place to put dirty rags#considering the next step is to clean the toilet & sink thats pretty important#i could probably change my sheets now#but i dont want to#bc i hate changing sheets#worst task ever#id clean 3 toilets a week if i never had to change any sheets again#cant vaccuum bc its too late in the day#i did the litterboxes#cant clean the windows bc rags#cant mop bc i need to vaccuum first#the other stuff i dont want to do#like dusting & rearranging stuff#bc those are tasks you do when youve cleaned everything else yknow#so anyways i want to listen a bit more but i have nothing to do while i listen#& i cant pay attention like that#but also i cant do most things bc they get me distracted#it has to be something very mindless#mine
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about your struggles with your undergrad. i was in the same boat not a few months ago. it got so bad i went to the ER for stress-related internal injuries, i was suicidal, i was convinced i couldnt succeed in my major (or life) no matter what, i felt hopeless... please consider: before you drop out, you have to be honest with yourself and your limits. i switched from compsci to my true passion and its very freeing. your advisor is there to help you. im sure they can help you like they helped me. also look for support from family/friends at this time. (i know its tough. again i was convinced id be better off dead so it was hard to ask for help BUT IM SO GLAD I DID.) instead of quitting, try changing your goals. btw, its never too late to change ur major. i changed 3 years in. better to swap now than live a lifetime, as you said, of stress and difficulty. future you will be so grateful. and past you will be soooo jealous. don't give up!! you've made it this far, you've got the skills! if you don't have the passion or patience to withstand a certain subject, then change it!! its so much easier than you think!! sorry for word wall. i believe in you. it gets better. good luck. and etc :)
Thanks, I wish you the best of luck :-) it is, however, a little more complicated bc im considering dropping out of a phd program and not undergrad
#im already post full breakdown (back in april) and now im stuck in indecision abt staying or leaving#but bc its a phd i cant just switch majors bc i specifically came to this school for this advisor to do a project in this lab#and im a year in so like it feels too late to change my project. which i would like to do. and i mean i could#probably manipulate into the project i want by doing eps stuff. but i just downt really wanna do chlorophyll things#and i dont wanna totally change what im doing bc i really like being a microbiologist and i looove algae#i just wanna do all lab work :-/ not that i wouldnt love to b a marine biologist focused on algae or a geologist or botanist or#paleontologist. but im not gonna spend a million dollars to get a 3rd degree that would require a 4th degree to do anything with. if nothing#else. i would work for a couple years as a microbiologist out in the real world and then go back to do a phd if i reall really wanted#bc im still young. but not that young. so ive still got time#unrelated
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#i saw someone else's post about deleting social media for a while and tbh i think i might do the same#if you have my discord you know where to find me#if youre close to me you probably already know that im not well right now#i think i just need to shut the world off for a while and pretend im in a very small bubble where only surviving to the next day matters#im safe i have folks looking out for me and im feeling more lucid today than i have been lately#and if that changes i made safety nets to make sure i cant hurt myself#but I m gonna just step out for a while and plan on maybe not opening social medias other than discord till next year#i need to make my world feel smaller for a while and just stick my head in the sand until im in a safer place mentally#if youre reading this and youre in a place like i am know that youre not alone#know that its ok to close your eyes for a little while and be selfish#its ok to make your world smaller right now and take a break from fighting if you need to#i understand theres a lot of shame for not fighting for everyone else or feeling suicidal when other folks have it worse off than you do#idk right now im lucid enough to just say i cant think about that right now and thats ok#if you need to focus on just keeping your own feet on the ground for now thats ok#ill see yall next year. please still be here with me. im gonna try my best to still be here too
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#i put off posting this because it didnt quite feel worth it on its own and i was under the wrong impression i might draw more silly sketches#but of course i didn't <3#anyway thank you to my friend for the straw suggestion. life changing#hes so silly.#keito hasumi#enstars#i think i did his nose a little wrong but it's too late i cant fix it now
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