#its the same for all marriage candidates who have high fp while you are in a relationship

[toyherb]

I've been saving my second save slot to marry woofio but it's very tempting to make a new file to marry lisette

[professorspork]

STORYTELLING TIME (bc the riverdale hiatus is boring): tell me about 2 of your fav riverdale ships, 2 of your fav characters, 2 of your favorite scenes out of all 7 episodes, and tell me about the pairing you last shipped/just started shipping. a detailed analysis, 10 paragraphs, i don't care. just tell me.

HECK YEAH MAN I CAN DO THIS FOR YOU

THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO SCREAM

2 fave riverdale ships

let me tell you about BETTY AND VERONICA

listen, okay

l i s t e n

i was not going to watch this show.

(and then i saw josie mccoy’s face and was like BUT BUT BUT and a friend had to tell me she’s barely in the pilot and to calm down, and then i didn’t plan to watch it anymore)

and then i saw it

the world’s fucking tenderest kiss to maybe ever be on television, which is JUST UNFAIR FOR EVERYONE DON’T YOU THINK??

camila mendes has a talent, is what i am saying, and that talent deserves so much appreciation that it actually got me to watch this show

(THOSE LIPS. THAT THUMB. CHRIST.)

anyway. my favorite thing about the beronica kiss is that it has absolutely nothing to do with how much i ship it. it’s just a weird fever dream bonus to everything about them that i love.

VERONICA IS JUST SO INCREDIBLY IN LOVE WITH BETTY. FROM MOMENT ONE. the train to the rest of my life speech is legit some of the gayest shit i have heard in my damn life.

i love how dedicated they are to one another. i love how they balance each other out. i love that riverdale took the classic “naughty and nice” dichotomy they had from the comics and turned it upside down and shook it, and this is what fell out

they just so clearly thrive off of each other’s energy. i love that.

but you know what i also love?

let me tell you about VERONICA AND CHERYL

i honestly thought for a hot minute there that i wouldn’t have interest in this show beyond beronica

and then 1x05 blessed me and watered my crops and cleared my skin and SHOWED ME THE LIGHT

it turns out, veronica directing her attentions at literally anyone is kind of all i need, and cheryl’s my GOTHIC HOT MESS OF PURE EXTRA and i adore her, and i hope one day they move into a new mansion that has a name and adopt war orphans or something.

2 fave characters

obviously you can tell i have a lot of feelings about veronica lodge, so maybe this doesn’t need saying but sorry too bad buckle up because

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, VERONICA LODGE

ironically, i spent most of my life solidly team betty.

“but Leah,” you say, “you love poor little rich girls who are POPULAR but SAD ABOUT IT and SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. cordelia chase! quinn fabray! glinda upland! summer roberts! you very clearly Have A Type!”

i know. i know i do. but i was BLINDSIDED man

i would die on a battlefield for veronica lodge.

because not only did this show give me “REGRETS HER MEAN GIRL PAST” veronica lodge. it over corrected so hard it gave me the bounty of MOM FRIEND VERONICA LODGE

MOM FRIEND VERONICA RUBBING CHERYL’S NECK THROUGH A PANIC ATTACK

MOM FRIEND VERONICA WRAPPING ARCHIE’S WRIST AND KISSING HIS BOOBOO

MOM FRIEND VERONICA IS NERVOUS BETTY DOESN’T GET ENOUGH SLEEP

MOM FRIEND VERONICA MAKING KEVIN PUT ARCHIE IN THE VARIETY SHOW BECAUSE JUSTICE FOR HER SMOL STAGE-FRIGHTENED SON

MOM FRIEND VERONICA LIKE “YEAH POLLY CAN LIVE IN MY HOUSE NO BIG”

the one thing i am weaker for than a sad popular girl is a girl who dances on the edge of the selfish/selfless line, who has such a big heart that she loves EVERYONE but maybe not quite as much as she loves herself. the rose tylers and rachel berrys of this world

oh wait there’s another thing i’m weak for and that is TINY BRUNETTES

veronica lodge was engineered in a science lab to hit every single one of my buttons, is what i am saying

now. i want to be very clear. i adore betty cooper, and no one on this show is more entertaining than cheryl blossom, and kevin keller is the most represented i have ever felt on television, but there was really only one other person i could say is my fave:

let me tell you about MY HOMELESS ASEXUAL SON, JUGHEAD JONES

“but Leah,” you say, “Jughead’s not canon ace in this show”

to which i say they can pry jughead’s lack of libido from my cold dead hands, until he says aloud on screen “i, forsythe pendleton jones the third, love doing the sex and it is my preferred method of having intimacy with my romantic partner” he can date whomever the heck he wants because, ASTONISHINGLY, ace people date! and kiss!

besides the point but aNYHOW

this kid is a fucking trainwreck and i love every inch of him

i love his ridiculous dedication to his aesthetic, i love his shitty novel, i love how much he loves his sister, i love his fwoopy bangs, i love how his reaction to being told his best friend is fucking their teacher is “wow dude sounds like you’re the victim of a sexual predator, do you need help?” rather than a high five, i love the way he delivers one-liners like he’s kind of trying not to laugh at his own jokes

riverdale isn’t riverdale without juggie

2 fave scenes out of all seven episodes

let me tell you about THE SCENE CONFIRMING KEVIN AND VERONICA’S QUEERPLATONIC LIFE PARTNERSHIP IN WHICH THEY GO ON MARRIED FRIEND DATES

honestly, and i truly have no excuse for this, you said “what is your favorite scene” and the VERY FIRST THING that popped into my head were these moments with ronnie and kev in the back of his father’s truck, which is ridiculous, mostly because they’re not even really a scene

but it’s just. it is so fucking satisfying, man. look at these precious babies. look at how many blankets they’re under. not only is her head on his shoulder (HERE’S ANOTHER LOOK FROM THAT ANGLE) but EVERY PART OF HER is touching EVERY PART OF HIM. he is SITTING on her CAPE. do you have any idea how much trust that entails?

what strikes me about this moment is that Riverdale is succeeding at convincing me that these kids--any of these kids, really, not just kevin and veronica--are friends. that they all enjoy spending time together, that if there weren’t a murder going on they would still see each other, and that they care about each other. ironically, on a lot of teen soaps the friendships are the first thing to be ignored or cut for time, because they’re not juicy and “don’t lead to conflict” (untrue). kevin isn’t even in the core four, and yet, here he is: taking out his best girl because there’s no other out kids except veronica at his school and this show cares about kevin and what kevin does! they could have had veronica suspiciously follow hermione to the drive in and start her conflict with her mom over fred andrews early, but no. they wanted her to have a night out with her gay husband buddy.

kevin and veronica are the kind of friends who made a marriage pact two days into knowing each other. kevin and veronica are the kinds of friends who meet each other’s eyes when they find the same things funny but it would be impolite to laugh. MY KINGDOM FOR AU WHERE KEVIN AND VERONICA BEARD FOR EACH OTHER BUT THEN, WHILE FAKE DATING, BECOME BEST FRIENDS. 

and like yes, unless veronica is actually queer (which she is) her calling kevin her best gay and--more than that--interrupting his interruption to be like “GAY THANK GOD LET’S BE BEST FRIENDS” is a little bit abhorrent. but looking past the ridiculous stereotyping, what strikes me most is that when veronica says let’s be best friends she means it. she’s team kevin now, ride or die. 

this moment shows riverdale at its best: taking a shit ton of cliched tropes but blending them in a new way and showing them with a lens of kind of delightfully unexpected compassion.

...anyway

it occurs to me that, despite finding my way back to it at the end, this is much less a rant about an actual scene and much more a rant about how much i love the friendship between veronica and kevin, but i’m sorry i love it that much. 

so i’m gonna try harder now on the next one

there are a lot of one-liners and moments i almost picked, even though, once again, those are not scenes (when jughead narrated that there were really only three kids in that booth and we all went IS JUGHEAD A GHOST, “slut shaming is when SLUTS get SHAMED,” “train to the rest of my life,” veronica’s face when betty comes out in the dominatrix gear, “that doesn’t SOUND like complete freedom,” PUSSYCAT RONNIE, fp jones saying he doesn’t want jughead to look at him like he’s garbage anymore....)

but then a dark horse candidate emerged:

let me tell you about the moment i realized ONE DAY I WILL BE ABLE TO LOVE ARCHIE

this show has an archie problem. so dedicated were they to proving that they weren’t going to do the classic love triangle, they made it so that archie barely interacts with half his friend group at all. isolating archie from everyone else with the grundy plot set this show back ages, and made archie almost totally irrelevant to the ensemble he ostensibly leads

but then we got this moment of hope:

“okay Leah yes we get it you like it when these idiot teens are friends”

DO YOU

DO YOU GET IT THOUGH

this was the first hint that this show would succeed at gaining my love beyond betty and veronica. and i didn’t appreciate it at the time aside from OH LOOK ARCHIE HAS A PERSONALITY I LIKE TODAY, THAT’S NICE, but in hindsight it really is quite significant. archie and jughead are supposed to be the heart of this show; it’s good to see them act like it.

and jughead is also a sarcastic little shit and he’s my son and i love him

A VERY IMPORTANT NOTE:

third place goes to the scene with betty, jughead and kevin rebuilding the murder wall and then trev shows up, which hilariously of all three of these might ACTUALLY be my real favorite scene of the whole show, for all the reasons i listed about a) the other two above and b) what i’m about to say below. sadly, though, this makes my love for it redundant and i’ve already repeated myself so much, so i’ll move on to...

the pairing i last shipped/just started shipping

well, let me tell you about BETTY AND JUGHEAD

i’m gonna be real with you i adore these two. i’m not fandom-y about them at all, because right now what the show is giving me is JUST RIGHT: two kids with chemistry who care about each other! we’re watching them take it slow and feel it out!

i dig the gentle vibe between them, and how they are interested in each other but mostly because they are both interested in JUSTICE and THE TRUTH and MYSTERIES

bless these idiot teen sleuths! i hope they get married and betty becomes a lawyer-slash-journalist and jughead becomes a private-eye-slash-novelist and together they start a firm called COOPER JONES INVESTIGATIONS and they solve crimes and are married, like Hart to Hart

anyway the point of this ask is that a few months ago i made a viral post about hatewatching riverdale because it’s trash but now i’m legitimately in love with it on every level so the joke is on me i guess