#its just so so different to the way buck is at eddie's house because they're two very different things u know

[buckevantommy]

Buck could fill a small bakery with the amount he's baked in the past few weeks. He cleaned out the flour shelf at his local corner market, used a coop's worth of eggs, pushed his mixer to the limit, and had his oven working near constantly. Every neighbor on his floor and everyone he's passed in the lobby has had a loaf of some kind left on their doorstep or politely shoved into their hands. Everyone at the station is begging him not to overload them on anymore sugar - they'll take the carb-loaded meals he makes at work but avoid Buck the moment he enters the bay doors with a basket of saran-wrapped sweet bakes.

The worst part is that it's not even working anymore. It never really distracted him enough to not want to call Tommy, just put his hands and head to use for an hour or two at a time so that he couldn't text or call.

But now there's nothing left to bake with. And Eddie is looking at houses in El Paso. And everyone has family to go home to, except for Buck. And every reason he has for not being the one to reach out first goes out the window.

After a few rings, Tommy answers with a questioning: "-Buck?" and it's a gutpunch he doesn't need today but he's already feeling like shit so the pain just gets absorbed into the rest of it.

"H-hey, Tommy." It feels good to say his name under- well, not better circumstances than addressing his broken heart, but something with a bit of tentative hope at least.

And it's good to hear his voice. The voicemails and audio notes and videos from their time together have soothed him and tormented him at different times, but hearing Tommy respond sends a pang of longing through him.

"Um. I-I, uh."

"Are you okay?"

A bitter sound trips its way out of Buck's mouth. "No. No, I-I'm not okay."

"Are you hurt?"

The urgency in Tommy's voice thrills him; he still cares. But Buck doesn't want to misrepresent himself, doesn't want to trick Tommy into caring about what he's going through.

"Guess that depends."

"On what?"

"What kinda hurt you mean."

There's an inhale across the line. "What can I do?"

Tears prick at the corners of Buck's eyes. "I just- need someone to talk to." He doesn't say: even though we're not together anymore, can we still be friends? because even though he's missed Tommy being in his life, he doesn't know if he could be just friends.

"Okay." Buck hears some rustling in the background, footsteps, background noise receding. "I'm here. Talk to me."

Tommy wants to hear what Buck has to say, he always did. So Buck talks. He tells Tommy about Eddie moving away, and Tommy listens. And when it gets too much he tells Tommy about a new niece or nephew of his on the way, and Tommy offers his sincere congratulations. And then he tells Tommy about his baking coping mechanism and Tommy quiets.

So much so that Buck checks to see if the call dropped.

"I'm on my fifth engine," Tommy admit. "I keep taking them apart and putting them back together until they work better than before. But everytime I was done I had to start again, fix another broken thing, because I couldn't fix.."

Buck takes an unsteady breath. Us. "Me."

"No," Tommy says emphatically. "I couldn't fix me. Too broken to be good enough for you."

It's a heartwrenching confession, but Buck feels a smile beneath the tears sneaking down his face. "You don't think I'm broken? Nobody stays for me, Tommy. At some point I gotta realize I'm just not someone people wanna stick around for in the long run."

"Evan.."

Buck breezes over the sound of his name in Tommy's mouth, can't dwell on how good it feels because it won't last. "Guess neither of us are forever guys, huh." His heart, bruised and battered, bleeds a little more. The tears stream freely now. He sniffles, but manages to steady his voice as he says: "I loved you. That was real."

Tommy's breath hitches. "I was a coward."

Buck nods. Cries some more. They're both fucked up.

Tommy hesitates, but then: "I'm off-shift soon. We could.."

He leaves it hanging. There's so many ways Buck could finish that sentence, most of them unbearably hopeful. He doesn't want to stay in his empty apartment anymore. "Yours?" His voice is a little wet. "Maybe I could help you with that engine."

Tommy's breath of amusement is a balm to Buck's aching heart. "You know something about vintage cars I don't?" It's teasing, and gentle, and Buck has missed this.

"Maybe. Maybe trying to do it alone is the problem."

Another breath of laughter, followed by resignation in Tommy's voice. "Yeah. Maybe you're right."

Buck listens to him breathe for a moment: in, out, in..

"I'll meet you at mine."

Buck's poor heart beats a little stronger.

*

It was more than an hour later, of battling crosstown traffic and then letting himself into Tommy's house because Tommy had explicitly told him to use the spare key. They never gotten to the point of swapping keys. That probably should've been a step they didn't skip over. Buck's too-long legs had skipped too many for Tommy's comfort.

He pushes all thoughts of that aside. He's not perfect, he's too much, but Tommy agreed to see him. Tommy wants.. he's not sure.

Buck stands in the little living room, surveying Tommy's space while his mind spirals, heart yoyo-ing between hope and hopelessness. He doesn't know how much time passes when the front door opens and Tommy appears in the entryway.

He looks good. Tired, if the dark circles under his eyes are anything to go by, but good. His hair is a little longer all over, and it suits him. Buck wants to tell him as much but he can't seem to say anything.

Then Tommy says, "Hey," soft and concerned and fond, a sad smile at the corners of his eyes.

And Buck's tears threaten back into his own. "Hey." His voice is watery and brittle.

Tommy's there in three strides, gathering Buck into his arms, and Buck lets himself be wrapped in an embrace. Winds his arms around Tommy and presses into his solid warmth. Breathes him in as the tears come.

He feels safe. Seen. His heart cradled in care the way his body is cradled in Tommy's arms.

Buck takes a deep, steadying inhale of Tommy's scent and pulls back enough to look him in the face. His hands loose their grip at Tommy's shirt, smoothing to palm him through the cotton.

"About that engine.."

Tommy's smile is wide enough to crinkle his eyes in that way Buck loves, with joy etched in the creases.

"I wanna help you, if you'll let me. We could make it work. Together."

Tommy's eyes glisten. His smile breaks into a grin. "I'd like to try that."

buck probably called tommy every chance he got when they were together. driving home from work and stuck in traffic, it’s time to call tommy and tell him about his shift. late night in bed and he’s struggling to fall asleep without him, tommy’s soft voice will lull him to sleep from the other side of the phone. both on shift and the calls had been particularly slow, he will go and sit on the roof with tommy on loud speaker and they will just talk about anything and everything.

and when buck finds out that eddie is thinking about moving back to texas, tommy is the only person who he wants to talk to about it. so he finally gives in and calls. and of course, tommy will answer.

[chronicowboy]

sorry but the difference between chim going to hen's to hide out and buck going home to eddie to get away from it all is staggering. like chim thanks hen for letting him use her shower, buck doesn't apologise for falling asleep. chim leans on the kitchen island comfortable in his best friend's home, buck walks in and puts his shoed feet up on the couch without a moment's hesitation. hen makes chim tea as a host would almost, eddie gets buck water yes but as an act of service not because buck wouldn't feel comfortable just going and getting it himself. because the difference is hen's house is chimney's best friend's house but eddie's house is buck's home.

[cuntyqueerleondraisaitl]

I can so see how Eddies current storyline could lead into his coming out arc in season eight, and possibly Buddie canon

He breaks up with Marisol because ... obviously. He cheated on her.

He breaks up with Kim because he's looking for what he had with Shannon. But Kim only looks like Shanon. She isn't and she will never actually be her. This could take one episode or a few episodes, ut Eddie is eventually going to find out, yet again. that he won't be able to replicate his relationship with Shannon with anyone.

His relationship with the rest of the 118 is strained by his cheating, leaving him feeling 'Isolated', maybe with an episode or two left in season seven. But Buck stays by his side for another episode. What eventually causes Buddie divorce #3 is that Eddie starts doing what Buck was doing In season one. Sleeping with a different woman every night in order to try and find his person. AKA; a Shannon carbon copy who he will never find.

While Buck understands, he leaves Eddie to his own devices at the end of season seven. it's not exactly a fight, but while Buck understands what Eddie is going through, he also understands it's not the best way to go about it. He tells Eddie that when he's ready, Buck will be there for him.

Season eight begins a few months later, and Eddie is still trying in vain to find a Shannon replacement. Buck is still giving him space. Finally, after an exceptionally bad night with a woman, he comes knocking on Buck's door, and just breaks down. He starts talking about how he doesn't understand why he can't have what he had with Shannon, and he doesn't understand why he can't replicate that experience, or find a woman who makes him happy in the way she did. And Buck just holds him while he cries.

Eventually, Buck tells him that maybe now just isn't the time for him to find someone. So they decide to go to a bar and just hang out for bit. Both of them get a bit drunk, and Eddie starts getting hit on by some guy, and to his surprise, he starts flirting back. And it feels so much more natural. He's been doing the same thing with a different woman every other night for months but it just feels so different and so right.

So, with a few surprised looks from Buck, they keep flirting. They go back to his place, and then in the morning, Eddie rushes to Buck's house, pounds on his door and speedruns his entire sexuality crisis on his couch.

Maybe this guy sticks around, maybe he doesn't, but either way, Eddie is finally coming into himself.

Buck and Tommy break up, amicably. Maybe its just an issue with scheduling, or maybe Tommy moves somewhere else (Tommy spinoff??? 👀👀👀) But they end on good terms

Then, last episode of season eight,, they're sitting on Buck's couch, eating his lasagna that they finally perfected. They're talking to each other about life, about how their relationships never seem to work out but now they feel like they're closer than ever to finding one that sticks. They make eye contact and boom. Something clicks between them. Cannon Buddie with the last scene of season eight.

Season 9A secret dating arc

Season 9B "we fucking called it" arc with the 118

Season 10 A domestic fucking bliss. Maybe Tommy comes back and he and Buck are best friends because they ended super amicably and Eddie's a bit jealous for like one episode.

Season 10B, Domestic fucking Bliss part two, but they're moved in together, proposal in the finale

Season 11, Wedding.

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Body Worship Steddie

Rating: EXPLICIT

Warnings: size difference, a bit of softdom!Steve if you squint, blow jobs, eddie has a small dick. So if you're not into that or dont agree with that or dont like it, please just scroll on past, i don't wanna argue. But in this house we believe in small dick supremacy. Peace and love. ✌🏻

THIS POST IS NOT FOR MINORS! IF YOU'RE NOT 18+ PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!

Tagging @grimmfitzz and @imsodonewiththissite (i know you dont go here really but here it is if you wanna give it a try! Haha!) Because y'all gave me courage!!! Hope you like it!

so eddie has a small dick. Steve's is like, normal, average. I dont know what average dick size is. Im gonna say like 5 inches? I wanna go with 4! Idk.

So yeah, he's been with eddie for awhile. And they've fooled around. And eddie has100% given him blow jobs at this point. But everytime steve tries to touch eddie he finds a way to get out of it. Either moving his hips away, or distracting steve with his tongue, steve is ashamed to say that that move had yet to fail, no matter how focused he thinks he is.

But eddie just, wont let steve touch his dick and its driving steve crazy. He's felt it exactly twice. Both times fleeting as eddie squirmed away from him. But my god does steve WANT. like, he felt how hard eddie was against his thigh, he knows what he felt. There's not much there. But steve literally does not care, he wants to touch him. Wants to make him feel good. Keeps fucking daydreaming about having Eddie's cock in his mouth.

But he doesn't wanna push eddie. Tries to take it slow. But then one night they're kissing and steve lays eddie back on his bed, tries to slot himself between Eddie's legs, to get them... somewhere!!! But eddie freezes so steve just groans and drops his head to Eddie's shoulder and is like,

"eddie please." And it's a fucking WHINE coming out of his mouth, he sounds so goddamn needy, and it makes Eddie's hands claw at his back and Eddie's basically panting at this point and is like,

"Im sorry. Im sorry i know- i just-" and steve looks at him and he's bright red and looks so embarrassed and steve refuses to let that stand so he cups Eddie's face, kisses him softly and uses the distraction to plant himself on top of eddie, pushing his knees between Eddie's and dropping himself there.

Eddie whines and slams his head back into the matress and steve just latches onto his neck before kissing up to his ear like,

"Dont be embarrassed. I don't care if your dick is small Eds. i just want it in my mouth." And Eddie's hips fucking grind up against him, but he shakes his head, turning away, his eyes squeezed shut so Steve stops. Because that's not normal 'turned on' Eddie. He slides his hand under Eddie's head, can feel wetness, Eddie's crying, Steve turns his head to look at him and says,

"I don't care Eddie. I want you. Is that not obvious yet?" His thumb soothing over his cheek. And Eddie shakes his head a bit, bites his lip and says,

"You say that now. But you'll change your mind. They all-" Eddie bites his lip again, sucks in air through his teeth as he sniffles. Steve frowns, he looks angry. Eddie tries to shrink away but Steve holds him still, presses closer.

"Fuck. Them. You think i haven't felt you? You think i don't know what's down here?" He moves then, fast but gentle, his hand moving down Eddie's side, and then between them, he cups Eddie in his hand and he bucks into Steve's touch with another whine.

"I've felt it. And i want it. Okay? Will you let me show you how much?" Steve moves his hand, presses his palm down just so.

Eddie's hands scramble over Steve's back until he's clawing at Steve's hips, his legs kicking against the sheets as he squirms, a mantra of "yes yes yes yes" falling from his lips as his eyes squeeze shut again. Steve smiles, kisses down his neck, then his chest, pressing kisses into the fabric of Eddie's shirt. And then he's sliding Eddie's pants down his legs, hooking his fingers into his boxers and pulling them down as well. And e

Eddie is on his elbows, looking down at Steve, his eyes huge, pupils blown, chest heaving, as Steve fucking stares at his cock like he wants to fucking eat it. And Steve's fucking mouth waters. He moves his palms up Eddie's thighs slowly, presses his fingertips into Eddie's hips before moving one hand back down.

His thumb grases the base of Eddie's dick and his hips jump again, Steve finally looks away from his dick, his eyes moving to Eddie's face, he tilts his head, asking for permission. Eddie nods quickly, his sweat damp hair sticking to his face, Steve smiles, presses a kiss to the inside of Eddie's knee, and then he moves his arm over Eddie's hips, presses him into the matress and finally, curls his fingers around Eddie's dick.

The tip just barely peaks out over his fist, and Steve is pressing the side of his palm down against the base too, as far as he can. The sight makes Steve's fucking mouth water even more and before Eddie is even a little used to the touch of his hand, Steve has his mouth on him. Eddie's cock fits in his mouth just so. So fucking perfect that steve moans around him and Eddie's hips buck up, even with Steve's arm holding him down.

The movement doesn't even come close to choking Steve and that just makes him hotter. He sucks, hard, hollowing his cheeks and humming around Eddie. Eddie gasping his name over and over, his hands in Steve's hair are the only warning Steve gets that Eddie is about to come. He groans as it hits his tongue, swallows it all and then keeps fucking going. Eddie tries to push him away, Steve pulls off of him, a string of spit and cum stretching between his lips and Eddie's cock, and Eddie makes the mistake of looking down at him at exactly that moment. His cheeks are flushed, and what Steve can see of his stomach where his shirts been shoved up is flushed too.

"Fuck. Steve." He's breathless. Steve climbs up his body, presses him into the matress and kisses him deeply, wants him to see how fucking good he tastes. Eddie whines, says Steve's name against his lips, Steve looks at him, his eyes are glassy, he's completely fucked out. Steve leans close, kisses his cheek and says,

"You're gonna give me one more."

Eddie immediately starts to shake his head, Steve grabs his chin firmly, makes Eddie look him in the eye.

"Yeah you are. One more for me Eds. You're doing so good. Bein such a good boy for me."

He whispers the words into Eddie's mouth, smiles when Eddie mumbles back,

"I can be good." And he's nodding now. Steve nods back, moves his thumb over Eddie lips and says,

"I know baby. You gonna give me one more?" Eddie nods again. Steve sinks down Eddie's body again, kissing as he goes, he bites at his hip, it drags a breathy laugh out of Eddie. And then he settles between Eddie's legs and looks at him, a smirk on his lips as he says,

"Maybe two."

Eddie opens his mouth to protest but what comes out is an obscene moan as Steve sucks his pretty little cock back into his mouth. Eddie's hands shoved up into his hair as his hips move in time with Steve's sucking, Eddie is so fucking good for him. Steve presses his hands to Eddie's thighs, digs his fingers in and fucking worships him with his mouth and his hands until Eddie can't fucking see, or hear, or speak anything but Steve's name over and over and over.

[diazpatcher]

7x10 reaction time

the opening scene with Athena 😭

EDDIE CALLED BUCK AND ASKS HIM TONPPEN THE DOOR TO CHRIS 😭😭😭😭

Chris calling the Diaz' I CALLED IT!!!

hen :(

"it's a little true" "even in death she makes your life chaos" "I'm making my life chaos"

Oh Athena 😭 I can't handle it if bobby dies the fact that he has a DNR???? I'm going insane

OH IT WAS AMIR RIGHT? I CALLED IT

the 118 kids meeting each other at the hospital 😭

"he managed to get her to safety before he took a turn" 😭 bobby literally gave his last breath to his wife😭

"I understand it to well. Bc right now the only thing holding me upright is rage." OH Athena 😭 SLAY MAMA "because they last man who came into my home and tried to hurt my family begged me to put it him down"👁👁

"You're one of HIS firefighters"😭

oh god the house is ruined 😭 Athena on a revenge tour?

Polly Martin 🤨 Hmmm

"THIS IS MADDIE HAN" SLAY MAMA

Athena gone rouge btw 🫡 as she should

"I think Athena might be the danger" SLAY

she broke into his house????? omg Athena is of the rails!!!! I love her

it's so so heartbreaking how she was ready to kill for bobby, no hesitation 😭

so if it wasn't Amir who was it 🤔

"being a living testiment to a dead person hardens you" oh. this is all about grief. this entire season is all about grief about how it is more than sadness that it is also anger and denial.

The cartell!!!!! "it's me they want" oh. Amir is so self sacrificial

The 118 watching as bobby almost dies while Athena is a on basically a suicide mission

Amir is actually cool "go ahead and do what ever you plan to do or is your plan to bore me to death?"

"I'm misses Bobby Nash" She says as she sets flames to the Cartells hide out. SLAY MAMA

"This one we both walk out of" SOBBING ACTUALLY

the 133 being the one firehouse who is always there when something happens to the 118

OH GOD IS HE DEAD

OH S

BOBBY

He's.alive 😭😭😭😭 omg

wait. what's the cliffhanger.

The Hans and The Wilson's having dinner together 🫶🫶 family family 🫶 I love them

Tommy and Buck 🥰 "you guys at the 118 should have your own dedicated wing at the hospital" PFFF HE IS SO FUNNY

"BOBBY IS THE FATHER I NEVER HAD" OH BABY THEY FINALLY SAID IT.

B:"so we both have daddy issues" T:"I dont" B:"but you think I do?" T: "God hope so"

Ohh ph "fathers are human, sons don't take it that well"

OH CHRIS , Chris wants to leave 😭 the Diaz' redemption arc?

"your son is trying to tell you whay he needs don't wait 30yrs to hear him"

Athena being so panicked about they're phones 😭 mama such a mama OH MAY 😭 Harry and May being there for their parents❤️ (yes ik Michael lives but he is not here yk)

Chris is actually leaving. "There's summer and then there's Texas. " 😭 lmao buck

Buck fathering once again I love him❤️ "you realize just how messy life can be" okay still no reason to forgive the Buckley parents they suck.

Eddie looks like a kicked puppy also the fact that he keeps calling Buck over is so!!!

The way Eddie hugged Chris😭😭 I wish someone would hug me like that

"I know your angry but i love you no matter. I hate it but i love you." OH "you can always come back, you just say the word and I'll come for you" SOBBING ACTUALLY

the diaz' parents not even hugging him goodbye??? rude tbh

"is buck joining us?" "it's a different sibling"

THEY TOOK HER IN UNTIL HENREN COULD TAKE HER😭😭 THEYRE A FAMILY

oh bobby in the remains of the fire. Amir lmao. like a ghost he appears.

"were not gonna get into who deserves what, that's for a higher power to decide. " "maybe you earned it." Amir finally finally being the one who gives Bobby closure on his past. "You know you can't quit right?" "you think you do or you know you do🤨"

Amir im sorry I misjudged you he is actually the funniest man alive.

Wait is the cliffhanger the opening disaster for s8???

Oh no. "No captain Wilson" BOBBY ❤️

Gerard you whore. piss off. no no no no no.

THATS THE CLIFFHANGER? its just horrible

[maroonmorons]

Eddie falls asleep on the couch while chilling with buck at Eddie's place he wakes to buck gently shaking him to go to bed. Buck went ahead and cleaned while letting him rest and Eddie's like wow. They're not even together yet but that's real sweet buck didn't have to do that. Idk maybe he like sleepily mumbles God I could kiss you while going to his room still out of it as buck's like what and thinks he didn't mean it only he did and he's not ashamed to admit it buck's the best thing to happen

haven’t felt this way in a while [buck/eddie, G, 1.5k]

Buck waves a hand in front of Eddie’s face halfheartedly.

“Eds,” he whispers.

There’s no response.

Or, there could be a response.

Buck can’t quite tell if Eddie is snoring very quietly or ifhe’s developing some sort of cold.

Hopefully it’s the former.

Buck half turns on the sofa, careful to distribute hisweight slowly.

“I think he’s out cold, Superman.”

Christopher giggles, quick to muffle the sound in his hands.

“Looks like it’s just you and me,” Buck continues in atheatrical whisper.

He rubs his hands together and grins at his favorite childin the world.

“Whatever shall we do with ourselves?”

Christopher takes the question very seriously, his eyebrowsinching closer together as he thinks it over.

“We could each eat an extra cookie!”

It’s Buck’s turn to smother his laughter at the suggestion.

Leave it to Christopher to suggest extra snacks while hisfather is asleep.

“I’ll make a deal with you,” Buck leans even closer towhisper. “If we clean up our dishes – I’ll split an extra cookie with you.”

“Okay,” Christopher agrees immediately, as if it’s anamazing offer.

Maybe to an amazing kid it is.

They make quick work of the dishes with Buck rinsing them inthe sink and Chris loading them into the washer. Then, they carefully split achocolate chip cookie.

Eddie sleeps through the entire ordeal.

“Okay, Little Man,” Buck says, bending over to get onChristopher’s level. “You go brush your teeth and pick out some pajamas. I’llbe in to help you in a minute, okay?”

Christopher nods.

“What about bed time?” he checks.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna let your dad sleep on the couchall night. Lazy Bones can at least come say goodnight to you.”

Christopher giggles again, quickly checking to make sure hehadn’t woken up Eddie.

As Buck puts soap in the dishwasher and starts it up he listensto the careful way Christopher’s crutches tap down the hallway.

He can’t help but smile to himself. His chest issuspiciously close to bursting with affection.

More than anything – he wants this every single night.

He wants to help Chris ‘sneak’ around when Eddie dozes off.He wants to tell Chris stories and clean up more than one set of dishes.

He wants in ways that he can’t fully verbalize. Not even tohimself.

To keep the thoughts at bay, Buck grabs the dishrag and runssome warm water over it.

He wipes down all the counters and rinses out the rag,putting more hot water on it before tip toeing into the living room.

The coffee table gets the same treatment as the counters andthen he heads back to the kitchen. He rinses the rag again, rings it out andsprays the residue from the day down the drain.

Next, he empties the trash and ties the bag tight. He setsit by the door to take on his way out.

The light in the bathroom is out already as he makes his waydown the hall so he peeks into Christopher’s room, unsurprised to see the boyalready sitting on his bed.

He’s picked out tonight’s book and it sends a bittersweetpang through Buck to see it.

He’ll stay for story time but it still aches a bit, to be avisitor.

Again, he shoves the thoughts aside.

He helps Christopher into his pajamas and puts him in bed.Christopher’s dirty clothes go in his hamper shaped like a shark and his crutchesget leaned carefully between his bed and his nightstand so he can reach them inthe morning.

“Alright, I’m gonna go get your dad,” Buck tells him.

He can’t help bending down to press a kiss to the top ofChristopher’s head.

“Okay, Bucky.”

The urge to wake Eddie with a kiss to the top of his headclaws its way up Buck’s chest until it settles at the base of his throat with apowerful grip.

If only he wasn’t too terrified to try and take that leap.

Sure, he and Eddie had both been single for some time nowbut that didn’t mean anything.

You couldn’t just say to someone ‘hey you should date myfriend, he’s gay/bi/pan/whatever’ not without being an asshole at least.

The point is – just because people could work in theory didn’tmean it would work.

Buck knows more than most people how much of a tangled messlife can become.

So instead, Buck walks around the couch and tosses himselfdown on it hard enough to bounce.

Eddie snorts himself awake, jerking upright and blinkingrapidly.

“Bu-what?”

“You fell asleep,” Buck informs him. “Christopher is alreadyin bed and waiting very patiently for story time.”

Eddie rubs at his right eye before looking to the coffee table.His eyebrows move up in obvious surprise.

“You cleaned up?”

“Of course. Chris and I did it together. The dishwasher isrunning and I’ll take the trash on my way out.”

“You didn’t have to do that, man.”

“Well, you were hardly going to do it while you slept,” Buckteases. “Come on, story time.”

He pushes off the couch, corralling his thoughts once again.

Buck plants himself in the chair that he can hardly fit into wait for Eddie. He shares another smile with Christopher as Eddie’sfootsteps pad down the hall.

“Who took my chair?” Eddie questions.

“You were too slow.”

Christopher giggles and Eddie rolls his eyes.

He crouches down next to the foot of the bed, picking up thebook Christopher had selected.

“Ready, mijo?”

“Mmhm,” Christopher murmurs before yawning.

Buck leans his elbow on the armrest of the chair that’scurrently cutting into his left hip. He cups his chin in his hand and sighs quietlyto himself.

As Eddie and Buck make their way out of Christopher’s room,it’s time to be quiet for another Diaz boy and Buck doesn’t mind in the least.

He doesn’t miss his huge empty loft. He doesn’t miss thefact that he can leave on whatever lights he wants, or play his music loudly,or leave dirty dishes wherever.

This is a home. Eddie and Chris are his home. Atleast, he wants them to be.

“Sorry for falling asleep on you,” Eddie says.

“Nah, you’re good.”

Buck wants to drag his feet. He wants to procrastinateputting on his shoes and gathering his keys.

“Why don’t you just crash here? We have the space.”

It’s enough to stall Buck for a second.

“No,” he decides out loud. “I should get going.”

Eddie doesn’t protest.

He obviously can’t hear Buck’s thoughts.

Ask me to stay – just one more time. Ask me like you meanit and I’ll stay. I’ll stay forever.

“Alright,” Eddie agrees. He sighs. “Thanks again forcleaning up. I could honestly kiss you.”

Buck snorts.

“Sounds like you need to get back to sleep.”

“I feel better than I did,” Eddie has to pause to yawn,which does a lot to dismantle his argument, “probably couldn’t make it throughanother movie though.”

“Well, you should get some rest. You must be pretty tired tothink about kissing me for doing some dishes.”

Buck should just leave it alone. But it’s like a scab – he can’thelp but pick at it.

“I don’t have to be tired to think about kissing you.”

What.

“Um…is this some housewife joke I’m missing?”

Eddie scratches at his jaw.

“I guess it could be? Like – you make my life better. Thehouse feels fuller, brighter when you’re here. I think you’re actually thesecond best thing to ever happen to me. Does that make you a housewife?”

Buck feels like Eddie’s just presented him with a thirtyfive page dissertation on the difference between miosis and mitosis. He can’tthink of a single word to say.

“Eddie…”

Yup. His name is a good start.

“I…what?” Buck finally manages.

“Sorry,” Eddie says after a stilted beat of silence. “Doesthat sound like I’m coming onto you? I’m definitely not coming onto you. Unless…youwant me to?”

Buck blinks at him dumbly.

Has he been asleep on the couch this whole time? Is this hisdream?

“Buck?”

Say something.

“Did I break you?” Eddie questions.

Dear God. Say something. Anything.

“You…like guys?” Buck asks.

Three whole words. And they make sense in context.Amazing.

Eddie lifts and drops a shoulder quickly.

“I like you.”

“Like… Like like me like me?”

He’s reasonably sure that still makes sense, but it also feelslike his brain is currently rolling down a hill.

But Eddie nods. His cheeks are stained pink.

Holy. Shit.

“How long?”

“Why?” Eddie questions, rubbing at the back of his neck andlooking away.

“Because I need to know how stupid we both are. For science.”

“Both of us?”

Eddie takes half a step forward then, his hand droppingaway.

His heart is firmly in his throat but Buck nods.

“Months. It’s been months,” Eddie admits in a rush.

Buck can’t stop himself – he takes two steps forward. There’sbarely anything left between them. Just a few inches of air that feels like it’sfull of static energy.

“We’re both idiots,” he announces happily.

Eddie takes Buck’s face in both hands and kisses himsoundly.

“Absolute idiots,” Buck breathes when they part.

“Shut up,” Eddie laughs.

He doesn’t give Buck a choice though. Instead, he kisses himagain.

[capseycartwright]

1, 18 and 13 for get to know your writer <33

1. is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

oh god, there are so many. i think the one i always circle back to is an academy au i started like, a year ago now, where buck and eddie meet in the fire academy and come through as probies together in different houses.

it's a bit of a retelling of 911 with that in mind, and i just love the differences it makes to the overall story to have him and eddie being best friends long before they're at the 118. like - i've had this scene written for months when buck is trapped under the truck after the bombing and eddie (buck's mysterious best friend) just comes running and the 118 are like??? because its so clear these two are just. in love.

anyways i think i always put off on writing it because i just want it to be so perfect, you know? and it gives me severe writing anxiety

18. were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

i think everything i read influences my writing in a way! i don't think i can pick just one, really - i read a lot, and i think i take away something from every book i read and its allowed me to develop my own style (i hope) over the years.

i will say, one book i read recently that i was awed by was memorial, by bryan washington (currently forcing a colleague to read it, its ace). i loved the style and the way the characters developed throughout, it was so good.

i do also think a book i come back to because i love the way its written - though i'm not sure if it shows in my writing style - is ballet shoes, by noel streatfeild. also, the dispossessed by ursula k. le guin!

13. your strengths as an author

i really like the way i write dialogue! i've always considered that to be one of my strengths as a writer, at least - i think i write good dialogue. i hope i do!

send me an author ask

[chronicowboy]

guilty feet have no rhythm | 1k

Eddie doesn't remember the last time he felt like this. Happy, uncomplicated, free. The world is fuzzy, warm where it wraps around him, dips under his feet like it's making way for him. Everything is so easy tonight. And it's not just the alcohol, not the tequila running warm and smooth through his veins.

No, it had been so spectacularly easy before he'd even had a drink. He'd been easy and full of joy the moment Buck had showed up on his doorstep with two freshly dry cleaned suits that they'd destroyed within the first hour of the party. It had felt, for a moment, like the house had taken its first deep breath in weeks when Buck had stepped inside.

They're in the bathroom again. Eddie has lost count of how many times they've ventured to the toilets tonight. All that alcohol, wreaking havoc on bladders and hand-eye coordination and stomachs. This time, Buck's sleeve has been soaked through by tequila, and Eddie hadn't really had an excuse to follow him in here except the thought of peeling himself from Buck's side had sent a wave of wrong through him so powerful he'd thought he was about to throw up the steak dinner they'd sat down for before karaoke.

So, he follows Buck to the bathroom, falling back against the wall when Buck notices him there and smiles brighter than the neon paint on the walls. He watches Buck shove his sodden arm under the hand dryer, and the steady whine of it fills Eddie's brain with a static that leaves him defenceless.

"What does it feel like?" The words slip out the moment the dryer shuts off with a click.

"Warm, wet," Buck answers with a cute little twist to his eyebrows. He tilts his head to the side, looking every bit like the stray puppy on their street Eddie had fallen in love with when he was twelve and his dad had called Animal Control on. "Have you not... used a hand dryer before?"

"No, Buck," Eddie groans, tastes the name on his tongue like a burst of colour. Yellow like a sunflower, or golden like sunlight itself, or pink like a birthmark as familiar to him as breathing. "What does kissing a man feel like?"

"Oh!" Buck grins, bouncing on his feet a little. He almost topples over with the energy that fills him at the question, and Eddie curls his hands into fists to resist the urge to reach out and hold him steady only because he doesn't feel so steady himself all of a sudden. Buck leans back against the wall opposite Eddie, getting a little lost in something Eddie can only imagine. "It's..." He sighs, long and dreamy. Eddie wants to catch it in his hands, press it to his chest, feel whatever certainty Buck is feeling now.

Certainty. The word lodges itself in Eddie's throat. That's it. That's what he's been missing. That's what's been making the world feel so... Uninhabitable recently. Eddie hasn't felt certain about anything since that solid weight had dropped through his chest at the graveyard. And even now he's still not certain what that weight was. But he'd been a hell of a lot more sure about that than he has been about anything with his girlfriend.

"It's... What?" Eddie prompts, suddenly, certainly desperate for the answer.

"Life-changing," Buck breathes, eyes the colour of an endless sky.

"How?"

"I don't know how to explain it." Buck shakes his head. "It's not really all that different except for all the ways it's different."

"Like what?" Eddie feels like a little kid, boundless in their curiosity, about to get an answer to a question they can barely comprehend.

"Like the stubble," Buck begins, eyes dropping to Eddie's jaw. "The tilting your head up instead of down, the hard chest against yours, the big hands on your waist." His voice turns dreamy, breathy. Eddie understands painfully, feels like he's just run a marathon. "But it's not really..."

"It's not really what?" It sounds like a plea in the muffled silence of the bathroom.

"It doesn't feel all that different when your eyes are closed, you know?" Except Eddie doesn't know. He doesn't know anything anymore. "But that empty space that's been inside you your whole life suddenly feels full."

"Oh." Eddie rubs a knuckle down his breastbone like he's trying to wake himself up with a sternal rub.

"You should try it, Eddie," Buck says then.

"What?"

The world disappears out from under his feet.

"You should kiss a man. It's—"

Eddie takes two steps and changes his life.

Eddie kisses Buck, and it's everything Buck had said. The delicious scratch of stubble, the slight upwards tilt of his head, the hard chest against his, the big hands around his waist, the filling up of that empty space. Except it's all that and more. It's Buck's stubble, it's Buck leaning down to breach that tiny gap between them despite the shocked noise that Eddie drinks from his mouth, it's Buck's firm chest under his hands and Buck's heartbeat pounding against his, it's Buck's calloused but endlessly gentle hands burning through his shirt just above his hips, it's the empty space in his chest not just filling up but overflowing with right right right —

Wrong.

The blast of the hand dryer rips them apart, and Eddie stumbles backwards, wild and free and oh-so-complicated. Every moment of his life before that kiss is rewritten into a writhing mass of wrong as everything else becomes entirely clear. For the first time in his life, Eddie is certain. Certain of two things: he never wants to kiss a woman again, he never wants to kiss anyone but Buck again.

"How was that?" Buck whispers, chest heaving despite the fact that it hadn't really been anything more than a brush of lips.

"Life-changing," Eddie croaks, the sound of it lost as Chim comes stumbling into the bathroom with a blast of Careless Whisper.