#its intense and i wish i could casually like anything

[allpiesforourown]

binggeyuan actor au PLEASE… it’s perfect because they’re both actors in canon in some way

I would NEVER wish bingge on any acting crew 😭😭 he'd be so awful about shen yuan. Shen Yuan would do one (1) nice thing for him without expecting anything in return and binghe would go insane.

All his scenes with shen yuan would be a little bit... too intense. But no one can say anything because the scene DID say binghe needs to slam the wall and lean into shen yuans space, but instead of "enemies competing" It's giving a very different vibe...

Off stage, binghe is obsessed with hogging all of shen yuans time. "Laoshi, you're waiting for someone? Oh, he just texted you saying his tires got slashed and can't make it? That's a shame... how about we have lunch together like usual instead?"

Then he starts meddling with the filming. First he tells the director shen yuan isn't allowed to have a love interest anymore. After that he starts harassing the makeup crew because why are they touching shen laoshi's face so much!? Then he straight up refuses to do any scenes unless shen yuan is present to pat his head and say good job. They try to fire him and Binghe casually reveals he has dirt on all of them that could ruin their careers. Eventually the studio can't afford to keep up with binghes demands anymore and just cancels the production.

Everyone is super lost because binghe is a wolf in sheep's clothing kind of guy, pretending to be nice and suave. Seeing him be this blatanly unhinged is unheard of. Acting involves networking and binghe has burned SO many bridges the last few months.

Shen yuan, who still doesn't understand this is all HIS fault for seducing Binghe, says its a shame the production can't afford to finish and it was nice working with him. Binghe grabs shen yuans hand and says he's not allowed to act anywhere binghe isn't working with him. Shen yuans laughter slowly dying out as he realizes binghe is dead serious

[trueangel420]

dealer!kai ୨ৎ, fem reader, (srry) degradation, p in v , rough kai era (omg i cant with this guysforgive me) , wc 1702

You had no business being in Kai's home. You knew better, and Winter had warned you to stay away from her brother. Part of you knew not to go near him—he was a drug dealer, older than you, and surrounded by too many taboos. It made your brain hurt. You didn't want to betray Winter, so you promised. You promised not to get involved with Winter's brother.

And now, here you were sitting stiffly on his living room couch. Winter was gone for a few days, off with her girlfriend, so you thought you'd just get a free joint or two from Kai. That was it. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a smoke sesh, and then straight home.

Kai glanced at you as he grabbed what he needed, placing everything on the tray on his lap. “Relax,” he said, his eyes tracing the outline of your figure. “I don't bite.” You wished you could believe that, but you shrugged, trying not to seem so uptight. It was hard with Kai. He had an intensity about him, even when he wasn't doing anything—it drove you crazy. His thick veiny fingers began filling the cones with weed, stuffing it in gently.

You cocked your head, watching him. Lewd thoughts crossed your mind, but you pushed them away. you wish he would bite—you were actually dizzy at the thought imagine him, latching his mouth on you like it was his last meal? like…you shook your head a bit straightening up in the seat trying to shift further away from him.

This was Winter's brother, and you promised. Your eyes traced the shape of his nose as he continued, licking the wrapping paper and folding it together. Was he doing that on purpose? He had to be. “You're staring,” he pointed out, breaking your trance. You quickly avoided his eye contact—had he been watching you the whole time?

“Sorry,” you murmured shyly. God, this was pitiful. You could feel your underwear dampening, and he hadn't done anything except make you a pre-roll. Yet here you were, practically drooling over him in your mind.

“Here,” he said, lighting it for you. He brought it to his own lips first, taking a long, slow drag from the joint. The smoke swirled around him. “You don't talk much, do you?” he asked, passing the joint to you. His voice was low and smooth, sending shivers down your spine. You struggled to control yourself, feeling like a rabid dog every time you stared at him too long. Clearing your throat, you brought the joint to your lips and inhaled. “I do, it's just... I don't know, I'm uptight right now.”

He nodded, his intense gaze never leaving yours. “I can tell,” he said, his voice low. His presence was overwhelming, and you could feel the heat radiating off him as if he was reading your every thought. He moved closer, turning his body facing you. “Let me guess,” he said, his eyes narrowing as if peering into your soul. Oh no, you didn't like where this was going. You just wanted to smoke, go home, and maybe daydream about him, not have him unravel your thoughts right here.

“Be honest with me”

You looked at him for a moment, bringing the joint to your lips again. A calm, fuzzy feeling was starting to kick in, relaxing your tense muscles. “About what? I have nothing to hide…” you stammered, trying to keep your voice steady, but it faltered. You'd already said too much. He noted the way you smoked nervously, the way you coughed out the words quickly, he was savoring it like a predator savoring the fear of its prey.

“I know Winter told you to stay away from me. She told me the same thing,” he said casually, moving closer as he spoke. “And to be honest, I don't listen to Winter,” he added, now putting his arm behind your shoulders.

“You... you don't?” Your eyes were wide as he smiled at you.

“I don't, baby,” he replied, grabbing the joint back and bringing it to his lips, inhaling slowly. A smirk tugged at his lips as he watched you gawk at him, looking like a deer in headlights.

“So what does that mean?” you whispered.

He exhaled the smoke in your face, his eyes never leaving yours. “It means I want you, and I'm gonna ask if you want me too. It's a yes or no question, but if you say yes, you might like what I've been thinking about doing all night.”

You blinked slowly, processing his words. Did he mean what you thought he did? He couldn't have.

“Yes,” that simple word made him smile wider.. He was prepared for this; he put out the joint between his lips on the ashtray as he shifted up off of the couch, looking down at your wide-eyed appearance. “Shorts off,” he demanded, unbuckling his belt, waiting for you to follow his demand. Of course, you obliged, maybe faster than he expected, but you managed to shuffle them off and stand in front of him. “I always thought you were desperate for me. Guess I was right?” He cooed, and you felt your cheeks burn as he finally tugged his belt off. “was i? Answer me,” you nodded, bringing your bottom lip between your teeth. God, this was embarrassing.

“Floor, ass up, face down,” he demanded, pulling you into his chest as he slid off his sweats. “do it”

The floor was cold and hard; you could feel his fingers running down the slit of your underwear—he was savoring every moment of this. “Soaked,” he mumbled, his fingers swiping back and forth on your clothed clit. “You’ve been like this for a while, huh?” You didn’t reply; your head was fuzzy and your body was aching. “Slut,” he whispered, taking his cock out of his boxers, pressing his pink tip against you, and rubbing it up and down your sticky folds.

You were so brain dead by now; you’d let him do anything he wanted, and he planned on it. He could tell by that glazed-over look in your eyes that he could get away with as much as he wanted. “Pull them to the side for me,” he said, tugging on your underwear. You nodded frantically, pulling it to the side as your body sank further onto the floor, your face flushing and your skin tingling as he pressed his cock between the folds again, this time the warmth of it making you arch back further for him. Kai thought you never looked more beautiful; he’d never seen you so relaxed and so thoughtless. He wasn’t even in you, and you couldn’t help but whine, but he didn’t have that much restraint; he didn’t need to.

His hands snaked around your body, feeling you up, squeezing you, and playing around with your tits for a moment. He could hear you panting; the position was almost humiliating; you were on the ground, back arched with his chest pressed against you. He was so close now, his breath hitting your ear as he grunted out a sentence. “I’m not going to be gentle.”

“Wha-” You tried to get out, but he interrupted you, plunging his cock into you and not letting you adjust to his size. You practically hissed at the size of him, the feeling of him forcing your lower stomach to poke out slightly, his bulge, and he knew it; he knew how well endowed he was—that’s why he chose this position so you wouldn’t know how much you had to take, so you wouldn’t be scared. Your brain was foggy; he kept one hand gripping the fat of your ass as he pounded into you and the other tightly holding a fist full of your hair, pulling you towards him. His breaths were heavy, and he couldn’t help but stare down at you—at your body. Some days he would pray to have you like this, all disheveled—sweaty—loud. When he figured out you wanted the same, all restraint was gone.

Your eyes were closed tightly; you were too foggy, too fuzzy, and all he could do was bury himself inside of you roughly. His eyes were focused; he’d let out grunts and strangled moans. He didn’t need you to know the effect or the desperation he held for you.

“So,” He thrust harder into you, his breath deep and low. “Messy.” he continued, his bicep now resting under your neck. He had you in a headlock, still moving against you. You shuddered at the fact that you were actually letting him do anything to you; you forgot all about your promise. He was slamming into you, and you were squealing, the sensation was all too much, you started to squirm. He tightened his arm around your neck.

The sounds of your pussy squeezing around him filled the living room. “You’ll have a limp,” he groaned into your ear, speeding up, shutting his eyes momentarily—he was so close. You can only whimper at his words, the lack of oxygen making you clench around him. “You like that? the idea of limping because of me?” He tightened his bicep around your neck, silencing you completely, and your face flushed a deep shade of red. “Slut.” You felt your eyes rolling back as he spoke, still grinding deep inside you. He watched as you neared fainting, then released you, pressing your face against the cold floor. Gasping for breath, you struggled to steady yourself.

“C’mon, breathe, breathe baby,” he teased, laughing at you as he maintained his pace. He grabbed your hips, his voice dripping with faux concern. “Did I make you stupid? You look so fucked out right now,” he said, his grip tightening. you clench around him more, Letting out a pant as your body tensed, you found yourself suddenly finishing around him. The shock was so intense you couldn't even choke out a response, feeling a tingling sensation spread through your brain and stomach. “Look at my slut—fuck” his stomach tightened as he pumped into you spilling his cum inside of you letting your body collapse weakly, he stayed inside you plugging you up in hopes—you’d get pregnant.

[konigbabe]

NSFW alphabet with König

Pairing: König x fem!reader

Word count: 3.8k

Tags/Warnings: smut; nsfw; praise kink; p-in-v sex; penetrative sex; unprotected sex; oral sex; fem!oral receive; m!oral receive

A/N: This is essentially my own interpretation of what König's NSFW alphabet would look like.  | source |

masterlist • request • faq • AO3 • ko-fi

A little warning before you read this; what you're about to read is my own interpretation of König, how I see him, and my opinion on what he likes and doesn't. My vision may be different from yours, so please be mindful of that.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

König would want to remain inside of you for a while after you’re both done, just catching his breath and making sure you’re alright, asking you whether he was too rough or whether he hurt you in any way. He'd linger there, taking the time to enjoy the warmth of your embrace and savor the connection between you two, content to stay until his body had fully regained its strength. All the while, he'd be checking in to make sure you're feeling good, and if there's anything he can do to make your experience even better.

He'd be willing to go to great lengths to ensure your comfort and make sure you feel secure and loved. Wrapping his strong arms around your naked body, your skin and senses enveloped by his scent and his hoarse voice whispering sweet nothings into your ear. You can feel the warmth radiating from his arms as he holds you close, providing a safe haven for you.

"Geht es dir gut? Are you alright?"

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

König is a true boob guy; he utterly loves your boobs regardless of their size or shape and is truly enamored with them. There isn't a time when he wouldn't hold them, squeeze them, and play with them as he's seated deep within you, filling you up to the brim; but it doesn't have to be sexual all the time. After a long day or rough deployment, he'd just come home and lay on your chest, one hand casually enveloping your boob for comfort as you watch the TV or talk about your day. He'd kiss you and caress your chest, and whisper in your ear how much he loves it, how much he loves you, and how much he wishes he could stay there forever.

For you, it's his hands; not only can he do wonders with them, but you absolutely love holding them. Whenever you lay with him, you take his hand with both of yours, feeling the rough texture of his fingers as you kiss each tip and his palm, a simple gesture you've come to learn helps soothe his anxiety as König has tendencies to get into his own head when intimate, making him spiral and disassociate. You instinctively know to be gentle, to rub his hands in slow circles and whisper calming words in his ear until the effects of his anxiety slowly dissipate, allowing him to find the comfort and safety you yearn to give him, something you've come to understand in the early stages of your relationship.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum)

Feeling hesitant to let you experience his taste for the first time as you went down on him. But as he watched you hollow your cheeks, sucking him off with an intensity that was almost as if you were starving for it, his hesitance quickly gave way to desire, and he couldn't help but release into your throat when he saw the look of content in your eyes, an utter look of desire that shot straight into his core. Both of you were aware that the fantasy of having all of him fit inside your mouth was impossible but that never stopped you from trying. König's moan of pleasure filled the air, and you could feel the wetness pooling between your legs. His release was enough to make both of you satisfied, and afterward, he'd always let you have a taste, building into your addiction. All the worry melted away as the pleasure of his taste became an all-consuming desire.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Following the fact that you awoken König's obsession with blowjobs, all this man has been dreaming about was to just fuck your face, seeing your eyes water and mascara running down as you struggle to take his full length in, your mouth feeling as if it is being stretched beyond its capacity as he thrusts deeper. Your hands hold onto his hips for dear life as he uses your mouth to pleasure himself, your throat feeling the strain of his girth as he continues to pump. His groans of pleasure echoing off the walls as he comes closer to the edge, moans of pleasure a testament to his delight in the experience. But he's too afraid to act on this primal urge, his insecurities holding him back from indulging in his wildest fantasies.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Experienced enough to know what he's doing but had a relatively small number of previous partners - and even fewer of those who stayed long enough for him to find the true comfort of a relationship and intimacy. He's usually more content with being left alone, satisfying his needs on his own terms, not having to worry about what his partner might be thinking or feeling. He prefers to live a life where he can have his own space and not be in a constant state of worry over a potential relationship, taking solace in the fact that he can be his own person.

With you in his life, the beginning was rather rough. You've never heard anyone say more "nos" and "stops" as König did when your kisses turned more heated, when your hips sought his, hands fumbling with his clothes before he caught them, fingers wrapping gently around your wrists to stop your advances as his comfort zone became compromised. It took a lot of patience to get him to relax, but once you did, König couldn't help but admire and be amazed by your sincere and passionate desire to please him. He felt deeply touched and grateful for your willingness to work with him and help him open up and feel relaxed about the situation.

The phrases you'd hear from him on daily basis before were definitely "Darf ich dich küssen?" (May I kiss you?) and "Darf ich dich anfassen?"(Can I touch you?). He would try his absolute hardest to speak English with you, aware that you had only a limited understanding of the German language, but there were certain things he felt more comfortable saying in his native language, and who were you to deny him that comfort.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

König might appear tough on the outside, but beneath the surface lies a gentle giant. He loves to make eye contact with you and to read their expressions to understand what will bring the most pleasure and joy. In the bedroom, König is an incredibly passionate and tender lover, always paying attention to detail and making sure you feel truly worshipped.

He loves when you sit on his lap, his hard cock burying deep within your soaked walls, allowing you to have all the control. Your thighs sit on either side of his hips as he brings his legs up, enveloping you in his warmth. Big hands sit comfortably on your thighs, drawing circles on the heated flesh with an occasional grip when the head of his cock nudges your cervix, resulting in a blissful groan from him that reverberates through your body, leaving you with a feeling of absolute pleasure.

Another one of his favorites is spooning; one hand gripping your ass, almost covering it all as his other seeks the feel of the soft tissue of your boobs. He's not much into dirty talk, not really experienced with it so he'd rather remain silent, few grunts and moans leaving his lips that are pressed against the crown of your head, eyes squeezed shut with pleasure as his hips rock upwards and bumping into your ass.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

König takes his role as your lover very seriously and is devoted to expressing his passionate feelings to you. He's incredibly focused and silent while he's with you, and wants nothing more than to make sure you know how much he cares for you. He can be playful and lighthearted when the opportunity arises, but his main goal is to provide you with the utmost pleasure and make sure you feel loved.

If you're feeling a bit playful and you've enjoyed a few drinks beforehand, he might be willing to entertain you, the alcohol providing him with a much-needed boost of confidence and an extra bit of energy to keep the fun going.

"Liebling, quit provoking me or I'll get my revenge on you," he'd tease.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

When home, König keeps himself groomed; not too short but doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, knowing just how long his hairs can get. He has a fine trail of hair running down his abdomen, leading all the way down to his crotch, neatly groomed and trimmed.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

As mentioned before, König is a sensual lover; a romantic softball. He will whisper sweet nothings into your ear, kissing your cheek softly with his lips lingering and his breath brushing against your skin. He'd be so close to you that you'd be able to feel his heart racing against your own, and his strong arms tightening around you as he holds you. His hands would delicately explore your body, his gaze full of longing as he drinks in your beauty.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

König is used to being alone and lonely, so the sensation of wrapping his own hand around his own cock brings a sense of familiarity more than being buried deep inside of you and feeling the pleasing texture of your inner walls as they hug his cock with each slow, shallow thrust.

Even now, you sometimes catch him during the morning standing underneath the lukewarm water of your shower, one hand against the cold marble tiles as his other hand moves along his cock, thumb swiping over the head, spreading his precum laced with water over his skin to make it easier for him to move his hand up and down. He gasps softly, eyes closed as he enjoys the sensations of his own pleasure and as you watch, you can't help but be in awe of the pleasure he is feeling. His breathing grows faster, his hips arching as his fingers move faster. You can see a sheen of sweat on his skin, the water droplets mingling with it as he moans and his breathing increases in pace. His hand movements quicken and he finally reaches his climax, his body trembling as he enjoys his pleasure. He takes a few moments to catch his breath before finally turning off the shower and stepping out. You can't help but feel a bit of envy as you watch him turn to you with a blissful smile on his face and a satisfied look in his eyes.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Wet sex; now König and you tried shower sex once which ended in disaster. The slippery feeling of tiles didn't allow for much leverage, König's massive height not really helpful either when finding a safe and most importantly comfortable position to enjoy the moment. But what he absolutely loves is that after-shower glow you have on you; when your hair is still wet, droplets of water running down your neck, following the curve of your breast and cascading down your torso. His eyes stay glued to the droplet, watching it disappear into the towel, before he finds another one, falling from your hairline, sliding down your temple, to your jawline, and following the trail the previous droplet created.

The feeling of your wet skin against his felt like nothing else, as all his senses start to go wild. You can feel König's love and passion as he takes his time to make you feel as if you are the only thing in the world. The feeling of wet sex was an experience like no other.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the deed)

Bedroom, undoubtedly, or the couch - anywhere inside the safety of your own home is perfect for König. He likes to enjoy the comfort of being surrounded by quiet and having all the time to explore your desires and see what is only for his eyes to see. He can lie down with you, relax and indulge in whatever brings him pleasure and peace of mind.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Praise; he lives for it. He loves it, even more, when you're vocal about how he's making you feel and what his touch does to you. Telling him how good he is at pleasing you in bed, and how much pleasure you experience when you're together, is something he'll never tire of hearing. He'll be thrilled to hear words of encouragement and admiration for his sexual prowess and the care and attention he gives you in the bedroom. Show your appreciation for the pleasure he brings you and he'll be sure to give you even more.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Anything that could have the potential to cause you harm or distress. When in war zones, he´s surrounded by pain, loss and damage, something that's embedded deep in his soul. The knowledge that he could've done harm to you in the most intimate moments of yours makes his anxiety spike.

König also wouldn't enjoy having someone else join in. He wants you all to himself, knowing that he's the only one who can truly bring you the pleasure you desire, and satisfy your needs to their fullest extent. You are also the only person who has seen König naked, and he can't imagine someone else's prying eyes on him, measuring him, comparing him. Just the thought of this would eat him alive.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

König's a pleaser; doesn't mean he doesn't want to receive as well. He loves it when you take him in your mouth, worshipping him like he was a deity. And in some sense, with the amount of pleasure he's able to give you, you feel like he truly is a god.

When going down on you, he takes his time. Kissing the trail down, he'd stop at your chest, gently sucking and lightly biting at the flesh of your boobs until they are tender and aching, nipples erect and begging for attention which he'd give them later. Toying with your belly button for a second before laying his tongue flat against your swollen clit, nibbling and kissing your quivering mound as his fingers plunge deep inside. His attention would be mostly on your clit though, knowing that's what gets you truly going; swirling his tongue before wrapping his lips around it and sucking gently, increasing the pressure until you can't help but moan.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual on his own accord but again, König's a pleaser; he'll do what you ask him, listening to your commands like the good and obedient soldier he is. You want him go deeper? He'll throw your leg on his shoulder, bracing his arms on either side of your head, fingers digging into the hard surface of your bed as his hips spread you open, allowing for that desired deeper feel you craved from him. You want him to go faster? No problem; angling his hips and digging his knees into the mattress for support, he'll pound you in lightning speed. Want him to go harder on you? He'll spread your legs wide, bottoming into you with each thrust, making you jump up on the bed a little each time.

Want him to make love to you? That's his favorite thing in the whole world. He'll make sure you're fully satisfied, his own pleasure coming second to yours. His skilled hands and body will make sure you have the best time possible, and you'll be begging for more each and every time.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

König enjoys slow and tender lovemaking, as it gives him a chance to ensure that all of your needs are met. He knows that it takes time for your body to get used to his size and that, with proper foreplay and lubrication, the experience can be far more pleasurable. As such, he takes his time in order to make sure that you are both comfortable and enjoy the experience. Quickies are not an option for him, since it would likely cause you discomfort and he wants to make sure that you always receive the pleasure you deserve.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

With a good amount of alcohol surging through his system, König becomes a willing participant in your little experiments. Nothing too out of his comfort zone but as you build your relationship and deepen your connection, you see him open up more to your desires, extending his willingness to learn about your body and mind.

You make him test his limits, discovering all sorts of intimate secrets, buried deep within your shared passion. Experiencing a newfound level of raw undeniable connection never before felt with another person, he trusts in your guidance.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Man has stamina for days; especially when adrenaline is pumping through his veins. After years on the battlefield, his endurance remains unparalleled to any of your past lovers. Finding yourself completely taken with his might, you thank God he’s yours to enjoy.

The only time he finishes embarrassingly quick is when your mouth is wrapped tightly around his cock, tongue flat against his underline, feeling the heavy flesh on your tastebuds as you make eye contact with him; his cum will flood your mouth as his eyes roll back and body quivers.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Not really into toys as he doesn't really know how to use them properly on you or on himself. He knows exactly where to touch and kiss to make you go wild, and he loves to explore each and every inch of your body until you can hardly take it anymore and he doesn't need any toys for that. He savors every moment and truly takes his time savoring all that your body has to offer.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

König isn't that big on teasing as much as you are, eliciting a moan from him as you slowly sink onto your knees before him, hands struggling with his belt as you undo them. He's expecting your mouth around his head the moment you free his cock of all the restraints but instead, your lips latch onto his sensitive balls, sucking at the razor-thin skin as you use your fingers to spread his precum onto his cock, lubricating it, listening to the desperate growl of pleasure that leaves his throat as he begs you to finally wrap your mouth around him.

What he is more into is payback; when you tease him, he'll tease back ten times more. When he feels you nearing your climax with his tongue playing with your throbbing clit, he slowly stops all action, fingers still deep inside your warm walls as his lips move to kiss your thighs, hips, and stomach. His touch tantalizes you, sending chills up and down your spine, your whole body coming alive as he works his way towards your breasts, sending an ever-intensifying wave of bliss every place his lips touch without moving his digits inside you even an inch.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

König is very reserved, usually pretty quiet and controlled, able to maintain his composure through most of your time together. But as his arousal heightens and his control slips, his moans start to resonate more deeply with each passing moment, his body trembling in anticipation of the pleasure ahead. As he reaches his release, a quiet whisper of your name escapes his lips, almost as if it's a reflexive prayer.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He loves when you sink your teeth into his flesh; not enough to draw blood but enough to leave bite marks that remain for days. Marking is something he's come to love, especially on himself. It makes him feel like he has a place where he belongs, someone he belongs to. He loves the intense arousal that comes with that bite, it makes it easier for him to draw his strength from you and the more you mark him, the more that connection between the two of you seems to grow. Every time you mark him, it's as if you're sealing in your love and devotion and he wouldn't have it any other way.

König isn't overly possessive; he knows that you had a choice, you could have chosen anyone in the world, but you chose to entice him, so he doesn't feel the need to prove that you belong to him [not as much as he loves when you prove to people around that he belongs to you].

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

Solid 9.5 inches (24 centimeters) - way above average even for men of his height. He's not circumcised, as most Austrian men aren't. His cock curves slightly to the left and upwards when erect. Surprisingly, he isn't particularly wide in girth, but his length more than makes up for it.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

König's drive may be lacking due to his anxiety, and he may apologize for not being able to satisfy your desires as much as you had initially hoped; however, he still strives to make sure you get some form of release, whether it be through his physical or oral stimulation. He may not be able to give you the satisfaction you desire in the moment, but he still puts in the effort to make sure that you get some sort of satisfaction.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Depends on the day he's had; after a long and draining day, König's more prone to falling asleep shortly after, his body worn out from the heaviness of the day and fulfilling your desires in the nighttime.

If the day was good, König will reward himself and you by taking care of you afterwards, bringing you a cup of cold, refreshing water and providing a massage to all the strained muscles. You can feel his calloused fingers kneading into your tired body, releasing the tension and soothing your aches, a blissful groan of contentment leaving your lips as you settle your head onto his chest and take in the moment.

[idorukiss]

Heres a sorta drabble/headcanon of sorts of how I picture MC's relationship with Rafayel would devleop~ I'm not much of a writer but the brainrot is real and im working on making similar ones for the other boys too!

1,051 words || You can also read it on ao3

‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙ Xavier ・ Zayne ・ Sylus

There have been many different things in Rafayel's life that inspired him when it comes to his art, But nothing took control of his heart so intensely as much as you have. Like a whirlpool you shook him to his core from that first meeting, and all he wants to do is capture you on his canvas for eternity.

It really was quite the blessing with how willing you were to become his bodyguard- not only can he keep you within arms reach but you can also protect him from all the shady people after his life. Like killing 2 birds with one stone, except you were so much stronger and beautiful than any stone he’s ever set eyes on before

He absolutely felt like a flirt to you at the start with all of the compliments and casual physical touch between you guys, He just loved to say how amazing you are while enclosing you in a deep bear hug. It was strange at first you'd admit, but it never felt like he was trying to make any passes at you or act like he was expecting anything in return. Perhaps that's just how he acts with people he trusts?

When Rafayel isnt painting, you two spend a lot of time outside finding inspiration all around. He usually has a sketchbook with him scribbling away anytime he sees something interesting- the landscapes, pretty flowers, or even a parfait you guys got to share. You’ve seen some of these sketches as he works on them, it always amazes you how much detail he can capture with so few lines.

He never let you fully flip through the sketchbook however, claiming all sorts of reasons why, like that the drawings were scared of the sunlight or you had to go through many trials to be worthy. It was obvious how much he cherished it and you respected his wishes, though it would be nice to reminisce on some of the good times you guys had together again. Though its not like your phone wasn't filled to the brim with photos already

Late one night, you stop by his place to make sure he didn't need any motivation to finish a painting for a deadline set the next morning. You have confidence he could make it in time, he always did, but you want to help him as best as you can otherwise. When you arrive you spot a stunning completed painting and a Rafayel sleeping on the sofa below it- both stunning as they're illuminated by the moonlight.

Taking it upon yourself to clean up his supplies a little, just enough to not be a walking hazard of course, you spot his precious travel sketchbook on the floor. Surely he wouldn't mind if you took a little peak in it, you'd love to see how he finished the last landscape you guys saw before he locked himself up to work. As you flip through the pages you see so many familiar sights from your time together so far, but scattered around them filling maybe even more pages was many drawings of a person. Of you. All surrounded by hearts and little notes about things you've said.

When did he have a chance to draw all of these? Is this how you look to him?? Questions race your mind as your face flushes at the image of him intensely scribbling in the sketchbook as you dance around the beach being dumb. You decide to grab a pencil and add your attempt of a sketch of him in the back, signing it with a little heart of your own. It’s nowhere near his skill level but something that captures how you feel, and maybe he would get a chuckle out of it once he spots it.

You don’t realize when the casual acts of affection he started out with turn slightly more romantic- going from linking arms together to holding your hand, and you swear you feel him press little kisses on the top of your head every time he wraps his arms around you. But you don't hate it, in fact it makes your heart flutter every time you realize it

Rafayel often messages you at the most random times to meet him somewhere, usually it was because he found a stunning view and wanted to share the experience with you. Sometimes he would even show up at your apartment to whisk you away, and every time it filled you with joy. These dates and every moment you get to spend with him fill your heart with so much warmth.

One particularly warm night you were woken up by a call inviting you to the beach near his studio. It was worth crawling out of the bed at an ungodly hour, not only for the view but for him. While you were admiring the waves, he couldn't keep his eyes off you as a cautious pinky is hooked around yours. Two faces flush as you look at him, it lasts for only a moment before its interrupted by your watch.

Your face falls as you read the notification “It looks like I got a last minute mission in the morning…I guess this means I have to head back already.” As you take a heavy step to start walking away he reaches out to stop you with a pleading look on his face “Wait, don’t go yet” “Rafayel…. I’m sorry, I really am. This night- everything was wonderful, it really was” “Can’t you just stay the night?” He wraps his arms around you, nuzzling his face into your neck “Please just stay the night, I don’t want you to leave.” Your heart flutters as you wrap your arms around him in return “Okay, I’ll stay for you my sweet painter”

He is the most clingy man you’ve ever met, constantly torn between wrapping himself around you while peppering every inch of skin with kisses and diving headfirst into hundreds of paintings with you as his muse. His studio would be covered in nothing but paintings of you if he didn't have to focus on his commissions.

He sculpted out a place in your heart that held him, and in turn you've devoted yourself to him- loving him with every fiber of your being

[smthabtgiyuu]

hiii babe!!! i saw ur reqs open and wanted to ask for anything platonic (tsuguko maybe) reader x gyomei or tengen! i might be back soon, im a sucker for cute platonic stuff 🥹 love ya 💗!

ahhh ofc ofc!! thank you so much for requesting love!! 🫶🏾🫶🏾 (pls forgive the formatting, i'm still rather new to tumblr 😅)

platonic tengen uzui and gyomei himejima w/ their tsuguko ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

"so...um, this is one of the most dangerous foods in the world and you eat this on a daily basis?" you swallow nervously as you look down at the plate of fugu awaiting you.

"mhm!" he grins, popping another thin slice into his mouth, at which you grimace. "come on, just try it! it's been cleaned of all it's toxins and prepared professionally."

you purse your lips, staring intensely at the assortment of pristine white fish laid out before you. "welp," you sigh, shaky hands coming up to grab your chopsticks. "here goes nothing."

you pick up the nearly-translucent sliver of fish, taking a deep breath before stuffing it in your mouth. you squeeze your eyes shut and chew cautiously, eyes opening slowly as you process the taste.

"oh...this is good! it tastes very refreshing." you exclaim, popping another piece into your mouth with a smile.

"and that's not even the best part." tengen chuckles, eating another piece. "it leaves your tongue and lips tingling, i wish i could experience it for the first time again." he says ever-so-casually.

"tingling?! is that the poison??!" you drop your chopsticks.

tengen laughs. "yeah, but only a small, non-fatal amount."

"HUH??! I THOUGHT YOU SAID THEY CLEANED IT OF ALL ITS TOXINS!!"

"well, uh, not those ones." he grins sheepishly as you pummel his arm.

"awww!! it's so cute!!" your eyes twinkle as gyoumei's large hands place the tiny kitten on your lap.

"what colour is it?" gyoumei questions.

your fingers massage behind the kitten's tiny ears. "it's a little black kitty, she's so adorable!" you bend forward, digging in your bag to pull out a can of canned tuna, opening it and holding it in front of the small cat.

"how adorable." gyoumei smiles, turning his head to the meows of another cat. "are you hungry too?" gyoumei asks it softly.

"i have a one more can in my bag if you need it." you say as you watch the kitten happily munch on the tuna.

gyoumei grabs another can and opens it, putting it down for the cat to eat as well, petting it's small gray head.

another meow rings out, and both you and gyoumei turn your heads to see several more cats heading towards you in several directions.

"oh no! i didn't bring enough tuna! gyoumei, we have to go, like now!!" you grab his hand and drag him away from the horde of incoming felines.

"but, the cats...namu amida butsu." silent tears start to roll down his cheeks as he is led away from the crowd of kitties.

smthabtgiyuu© 2024. all rights reserved. :)

[blanketorghost]

Unlike the waves of the Suminoe

Word count: 2,793

Summary: It's Azul's birthday, and despite Azul's policies about gifts, Yuu insists on giving his crush a birthday present.

Pairings: Azul Ashengrotto x Yuu Fujisaki (implied)

A/N: Happy birthday to my bestest boy mwah💕

Companion/continuation fic can be found here! Also I will add the companion art tmrw im so tired fr

Taglist: @kazumify @the-trinket-witch @yavya

~

"I know you don't usually accept these, but... happy birthday." Against his better judgment, Yuu extended the carefully gift-wrapped package to Azul. His eyes glued to the floor as a sudden bashfulness filled his body. For once, he was grateful that Vil had forced him to wear that full-coverage foundation.

Somehow, someway, Yuu had been roped into being Azul's interview host for his birthday party, whatever that was supposed to entail.

It was a long-standing tradition in Night Raven College to make these grandiose celebrations for students; The entire dorm would be decorated to its max splendor and the birthday boy would be awarded all sorts of gifts; even receiving a specially tailored suit that fit the year's theme. Is that where the budget to fix Ramshackle dorm went? Either way, Yuu couldn't really complain. After all, he was awarded the same luxuries when his own birthday came along. Kalim and Vil made sure of that.

The festive atmosphere that engulfed the Octavinelle dorm was also a welcome change of pace. With the VDC approaching, practice was getting more and more intense. So when the opportunity arose to finally relax and pig out on junk food and sweet treats, practically everyone jumped at the chance— even if the birthday boy wasn't particularly well-liked by most members of the NRC Tribe.

It also was exciting to be able to candidly ask Azul about himself for once. Whenever they met up, they seldom talked about each other, often their conversations being engulfed by work or contracts rather than other, more casual topics one would normally talk about with friends. Yet, as host, Yuu was allowed the rare opportunity to run an honest-to-goodness interview without running the risk of being blackmailed by the octomer, something he couldn't just pass by.

It was pleasant to hear about Azul's birthday memories first-hand, and he even got to learn about his family traditions. He spoke plainly and happily about his parents, the ristorante they had back at the coral sea, and his own thought processes behind his management of the lounge. Yuu reveled in that moment of subtle vulnerability. It was nice not having to read between words for once.

Now that the interview was over, though, Azul went back to his all-business persona as he cheerfully greeted guests and accepted well-wishes, often recommending dishes in-between or proposing deals. It was only until the very end of the party that Yuu could catch his attention again and pull him aside to an empty table.

The wrapping paper crinkled as he clutched the gift harder and slightly bowed— his body moving on its own before he could even think. Despite being in Twisted Wonderland for more than a semester now, he still couldn't shake up some of the rigid mannerisms from back home.

Perfect, now he looked more like a fool.

"Ah. I think you've wished me happy birthday... three times already?" Azul's laugh ringed on Yuu's ears. Melodious and sweet. Genuine even, compared to his usual tone. "But if you know my rules, then you should've known already I can't take it." Despite his statement, Azul tentatively took the package and examined it.

It didn't look like anything special. A flat, hand-sized rectangle that was wrapped in modest striped lavender paper from Sam's shop. Yuu had done this intentionally. He thought if the gift looked inconspicuous enough, Azul would accept it without protesting, but it seemed he had underestimated his crush's stubbornness.

"It's a dumb rule." Yuu quickly retorted. "I don't need or want anything in return, Azul. It's literally your birthday." He finally found the courage to look up. As his eyes were met with Azul's smile, he couldn't help but return it with his own, his only hope being that it wasn't too dopey or lovesick. "And honestly, you're already allowing me the joy of giving. Isn't that enough payback?"

"If you word it like that, I suppose that's enough." He laughed again, and Yuu's heart did a flip. "What is it?"

"You'll have to open it to find out."

"Can't you just tell me?"

"That's not how this works, come on—" Yuu let himself laugh as he finally sat beside him and averted his gaze towards the cutlery on the table. Maybe if he didn't have to look him directly in the face, his anxiety would fade slightly.

He nudged the present closer and held his breath as Azul unwrapped the package, careful not to rip the paper. If he were from earth, Yuu thought, Azul would be the type of person that would save them to wrap other gifts.

"A bookmark?" He held the wooden charm up. The delicately carved slab was decorated at the bottom corner with a wave pattern— the closest Yuu could guide Rook to paint on with his limited artistic talent to reflect the ones he'd seen at home. At the top, a braided satin tassel was looped through a small hole, tied into a rope.

"I- I'm not good with crafts like these, so I commissioned Epel and Rook to help me out with some—... I wanted to give you something you could use." Yuu tried his best not to trip over his words as he explained. Why was he even explaining himself, though? His plan was to just give him the package and dip, but instead, Yuu was now hunched forward, one finger pointing at the details he wanted Azul to take notice of.

"Thank you. It is indeed quite a useful gift." Azul's voice softened, but Yuu couldn't really gauge what he truly thought about the gift without looking at him— something he refused to do. "Is this design common where you come from?"

"Yes, the pattern here is called a seigaiha. It's meant to represent ocean waves. Though Rook did take some artistic liberties on his interpretation."

"And this?" Azul's hand slid to the complex knot at the top. His curiosity slightly encouraging Yuu.

"It doesn't mean anything specifically, but I wanted to mimic an omamori— a good luck charm." He answered before averting his eyes again in embarrassment. "That's the only part I contributed with manually."

"It's still very intricate. Though I'm a bit insulted that you think I need a lucky charm." He felt Azul's weight shift beside him as he leaned on him for a few seconds. He knew it was a friendly nudge, but that still didn't help Yuu feel any less flustered.

"Everyone needs a little luck every once in a while, besides—" Yuu guided Azul's hand and flipped the bookmark to its backside, which had a small, white rectangle painted at its center. "It doesn't have the spell that makes it lucky written on it."

"So there is magic in your world." Azul's voice gained a smug tone, that one he used so often whenever he wanted to tease Yuu. Usually, he would just laugh along and reciprocate with a quip of his own, but his brain was already working overtime with just maintaining his composure. Thankfully, Azul didn't seem to notice as he continued. "Then, shouldn't you write something? It's your gift, after all."

"I am magicless, remember? It wouldn't work. Besides, my handwriting's kind of ugly. I didn't want to ruin it."

"I don't think— nevermind." He felt Azul's posture falter for a second. "What I meant is that... It'd be nice to get a message from you. But if you say so, I suppose it's for the best then."

Yuu's eyes darted up. Did Azul sound... disappointed? If he did, he didn't show it. His expression was as inscrutable as always, his lips curled into that all-business smile as his delicate fingers ran through the blank slate.

God, he was gorgeous.

And it was getting very difficult to keep denying him, especially on his birthday.

"I may... know something I could write on."

"Oh?" Azul turned to him, head tilting in curiosity. "What do you have in mind?"

"I don't want it to be something menial like a 'happy birthday' or a regular well-wishes message. That'd be a disservice to Rook and Epel's work. So instead, I thought.... I know a certain poem I could write instead."

"You're writing me a poem?" Azul's smile widened, and he crinkled his eyes smugly, having found the perfect opportunity to tease Yuu. "I didn't take you for a romantic. Or a writer for that matter."

"And I didn't take you for an insufferable tease, and yet here we are." He flicked a finger to Azul's temple, Azul flinching in return. "I'm not writing you a poem. I'm writing a poem. Pragmatics, 'Zul-kun."

"But it is directed at me, no? So you are writing it for me." The boy chuckled as he moved a hand to his forehead, rubbing the spot where Yuu flicked at him. "Shame I won't be getting an original. It would skyrocket the bookmark's value."

"You can't afford me." Yuu retorts, returning Azul's smug and cheeky smile with one of his own.

"I doubt that. What are your rates?"

"I'll discuss with my associates and get back to you."

The two let out a low chuckle as the conversation naturally veers back to their usual dynamic. And Yuu gives himself the luxury to lightly nudge Azul, extending their contact for just a little precious second longer. "Now I'm curious, though. What poem are you going to write for me?"

"It's just a short thing. Back from a collection of poems that are pretty famous back home." Yuu explains, not truly wanting to get into the thick of it just yet. If only to make their conversation longer.

"And?" Azul leans closer, not buying Yuu's humble description. They have known one another for long enough that Yuu wouldn't just bring it up if it was that trivial.

"And, it's also become a kind of card game because of its fame. It's called Hyakunin Isshu karuta."

"A hundred people, a hundred poems, huh?" Azul perks up, leaning forward and placing his palms on his chin. "Must be quite a challenge to memorize all of them."

"Oh, not really." Yuu smiles in spite of himself, and he sees Azul frown in return. He quickly wipes the smile off his face and coughs. "I mean- they are quite short. Just 5 verses each, split in two. So they're not that hard to memorize. Much like a couple of songs or an album by your favorite artist..."

"I get it. A simple game of memorization." Azul's interest seemed to have returned. "So what you're telling me is that if I memorize all 100 poems, I could win this game?"

"Well, yes. But you also have to be quick enough. Some competitive players can spot the matching card to a poem in seconds."

Azul hums, straightening back on his seat. "That's an interesting premise. You must come to the board game club one day and explain in more detail, I wouldn't mind investing in creating a deck for us to play."

"Maybe I'll buy you a set for your next birthday." Yuu smiles to himself at the tacit promise of celebrating another year with Azul by his side, even if it's just as friends.

"I'll hold you to that." Azul taps his finger on the table, then leans closer to him. "Now, about this mystery poem..." He trails off, urging Yuu to start writing.

A soft light emerges from his right hand and his signature fishbone quill materializes, shimmering that bright golden hue that illuminated part of the table.

Yuu carefully takes it. The last time he'd used it was when he signed those dreaded contracts in what seemed forever ago. He never expected he would've become so close with Ashengrotto when he was presented with the deals, much less catch feelings for him.

"Since you're being so annoying, maybe I'll just write half of it."

"So you're giving me half a gift? How stingy of you. Since when did you become such a cheapskate?"

"Shush." Yuu turns to Azul, placing a finger on his own lips. "The bookmark is the gift. The poem's just an add on you insisted on." He says, then places the tip of the quill atop the slate, slowly and meticulously starting with the first line. "Besides, think of it as a challenge; I'm giving you three fifths of a full poem. Can you guess what the last two lines are before next year?"

"That's terribly unfair." Azul stifles a giggle, his eyes following each and every one of Yuu's movements as he writes. "How will I be able to know?"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll come up with something..." Yuu hums, tracing the line of a kanji until he's sufficiently satisfied with its thickness. "You're smart like that."

Azul only hums back in agreement, then chimes in once more "What is a 'Suminoe'? You have to at least explain to me the foreign terms."

"It's the name of a beach. I thought it'd be fitting given the bookmark's pattern." Yuu answers, mentally measuring the length of the third and final line. "All poems of this type have something relating to nature."

"And so, you thought of an ocean themed poem."

"Correct." Yuu nods, flicking the nib to finish his last stroke.

He couldn't quite discern from just Azul's tone if the comment was condescending, interested, disappointed, or entirely neutral about the poem's subject. Azul's voice already had a melodic and dramatic tilt to it when he talked. And the cadence of his words were so meticulously controlled to give so much information about his mood, they were a puzzle in itself.

"... I think I'm done." Yuu hands his finished message to Azul, who adjusts his glasses as he carefully inspects the writing on the slab.

As he reads the few lines repeatedly, Yuu watches his eyebrows pinch and his lips purse, and his heart skips a beat when Azul's expression slowly turns into a disappointed grimace.

"... I don't get it." He sighs, dejected, and places the bookmark down on the table

That was a risk Yuu always had to account for; that his references or sayings would be misunderstood or flew over people's heads. Especially when he'd just chosen to write half a tanka, famously known to need those last two lines to bring out the full context of the message. Usually, Yuu wouldn't even bother to say anything that could incur the confusion of others, but, with Azul, there was a benefit to being cryptic; It kept him interested.

Azul was so curious, so hungry for knowledge, he would eat up any and all information Yuu gave him. And whatever he didn't understand, he was eager to make it so he would the next time it was mentioned. At some point, Yuu started to intentionally include some of Earth's locations and slang, just to have the pleasure to explain to Azul anything that would pique his interest. It was nice to have an excuse to talk about home... especially when the listener was so eager to learn.

"It's incomplete. You're supposed to find the words to make it make sense to you." Yuu chuckles, handing Azul the quill back and leaning his cheek to rest on his fist. "I think it'd be interesting to see what meaning you extract from those words, then later see how closely it matches the authors." He smiles, but Azul only returns his gesture with a pout.

"Fine. I suppose it would be interesting to try out." He sighs and makes the quill disappear with a snap of his fingers. "But I would've rather had a full poem to think about."

"You're no fun."

"Perhaps I am not. But you'll still try to complete the poem?"

"Of course I will. That is, if I can't manage to pry those last verses from you."

"Over my dead body."

Azul chuckles once more, and, as he is called over by one of the employees of the lounge, Yuu watches him leave the table and bids his goodbyes, taking the gift from the table and putting it in his coat pocket.

Success.

He stays there seated for a while, watching as Azul weaves through the crowds and stops at some instances to entertain the guests. No rhythm or pattern, he just melded into the crowd seamlessly only to pop up once again somewhere else.

In a way, Yuu compared it to a delicate dance. A push and pull of socialization and taking times for himself to recharge. A beautiful view in his eyes.

Maybe that's why he chose that poem. Something that reminds him of Azul's nature of hiding, camouflaging, a figure so ethereal he felt it could only be seen from afar.

Unlike the waves that come up to the shore of Suminoe, in the gathered night.

[littlemissvenom0]

Title: you love me? Jj maybank

It was no secret that you and JJ Maybank were close—maybe too close, if anyone asked the rest of the Pogues. You spent most of your days together, trading inside jokes and lingering touches that always felt a little more meaningful than just friendship. But despite how obvious it might have seemed to everyone else, you were both oblivious to how deep your feelings ran.

So when Kiara asked JJ out, your world tilted on its axis.

It happened on a lazy afternoon. You, JJ, Kiara, and the rest of the Pogues were hanging out at the Chateau, the usual laughter filling the air. You were sitting on the porch steps, absentmindedly watching the boys play cornhole, when you heard Kiara’s voice cut through the noise.

“Hey, JJ?” she said casually, like she wasn’t about to shatter the fragile balance that had been holding everything together. “You wanna go out with me sometime?”

Your heart sank. You were frozen in place, trying to process what she’d just said. Kiara? Asking JJ out? The two of them had never really shown interest in each other before, so why now?

But what hurt even more was JJ’s response.

He looked over at her, surprised, his usual cocky grin faltering just a little. “Uh, yeah. Sure, why not?”

You tried to keep your expression neutral, tried to ignore the sharp pang of jealousy twisting in your gut. JJ and Kiara were your friends—both of them—and you had no right to feel this way. He didn’t owe you anything, after all. You’d never told him how you felt.

But you wanted to. You’d wanted to for so long, but the fear of ruining your friendship had always held you back.

Now it seemed like it was too late.

You swallowed hard, trying to blink away the sting in your eyes. JJ shot you a quick glance, but you quickly turned away before he could see the hurt written all over your face.

From that moment on, you made every effort to avoid him. It wasn’t easy, considering you were part of the same friend group, but you found excuses to be busy, to duck out early from hangouts, to disappear when he showed up. It killed you, but seeing him with Kiara, even just knowing they might have a thing, was worse.

A week later, you were sitting at The Wreck, pushing your food around your plate, trying to distract yourself from the aching pit in your stomach. You were on a date with a guy you barely knew—a tourist, just passing through. It wasn’t serious, and honestly, you weren’t even that interested. But after the mess with JJ, you figured you might as well try to move on.

That was easier said than done.

Your date was talking, but you weren’t really listening. Instead, your mind kept drifting to JJ, wondering if he and Kiara were out together, if he was kissing her, holding her the way you wished he’d hold you. It was a torture you couldn’t seem to escape.

And then, suddenly, JJ was there.

He stormed into The Wreck like a hurricane, his eyes locking on you immediately. His gaze flicked to the guy sitting across from you, and something dark and dangerous flashed across his face. Without a word, he walked over, his usual easygoing demeanor gone, replaced by something else entirely.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice tight. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

You blinked up at him, shocked to see him here—shocked at the intensity in his expression. “JJ, what are you—”

“Now,” he cut you off, his eyes flicking back to your date. The tension was palpable, and you could feel the hostility radiating off him in waves.

Your date raised an eyebrow, clearly confused. “Uh, is this your boyfriend or something?”

“No, he’s not,” you muttered quickly, but your words felt hollow.

JJ’s jaw clenched. “Let’s go, Y/N.”

Reluctantly, you stood up, apologizing to your date before following JJ outside. The moment you stepped into the cool evening air, you rounded on him.

“What the hell, JJ? What are you doing here?”

He spun around, his eyes blazing. “I should be asking you the same thing. You’re on a date with that guy?”

You threw your hands up in frustration. “Why do you care? It’s none of your business who I go out with.”

“Of course it’s my business!” he shouted, running a hand through his hair. “You’ve been avoiding me for days, and now I find you out with some random guy? What the hell, Y/N?”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t think you’d notice,” you snapped. “You’ve been too busy going out with Kiara.”

JJ stared at you, his expression softening for the first time. “Is that what this is about?”

You crossed your arms, trying to hold it together, but your voice wavered. “What do you think, JJ? You know how I feel about you.”

His eyes widened, and he took a step closer. “Wait… you like me?”

You blinked at him, feeling the weight of your unspoken feelings crashing down all at once. “JJ, I’ve been in love with you for months. But I never told you because I thought it would mess everything up. And now… now you’re with Kiara, and it’s killing me.”

He shook his head, his hands reaching for yours. “No. Y/N, I’m not with Kiara. I went out with her because I thought I had no shot with you. I thought you didn’t feel the same way.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “What?”

“I’ve been in love with you since forever,” JJ said, his voice cracking slightly. “I just… I didn’t think I was good enough for you. I thought you deserved someone better. But when I saw you with that guy tonight, it drove me insane. I couldn’t stand it.”

You stared at him, barely able to believe what you were hearing. “You… you love me?”

JJ let out a shaky breath, his forehead resting against yours. “Yeah, I do. I’ve been an idiot, but I’m not gonna let you go without a fight.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you smiled softly, your heart swelling with relief and happiness. “You’re an idiot, alright. But you’re my idiot.”

JJ grinned, his hands gently cupping your face as he finally, finally kissed you—soft and slow, like he’d been waiting for this moment his whole life.

And maybe, in a way, he had.

[theshopkeepofremnant]

I have so many feelings about this finale.

So. Many.

I love that it subverted my expectations in the way that rwby so often does. They set up this episode as an intensely personal one. And it was, but not at all like I thought.

I expected a huge Summer lore dump. Instead we got one incredibly illuminating scene that raises a million other questions but more effectively spoke to Ruby and her pain than anything I could imagine.

I expected a long conversation where Ruby basically got therapy from the blacksmith but instead I saw something smaller, simpler: I saw Ruby realize that despite all of her flaws and pain and imperfections, she was enough. I saw her take a deep breath and rise from the lowest point of her life. And while the moment was triumphant, it wasn’t a magical waving away of her problems (though many so-called critics will claim it was). It was just her getting back up. It wasn’t the end of the journey, it was the beginning, and I love it.

So this happened and I had a moment where I felt lost. It was great, it all worked, but it was quick. What was going to happen for the remaining ten or so minutes? Elevator music?

Then I got hit with the lore dump I NEVER expected. I know I wasn’t alone in assuming that the Ever After was just some toy realm. In a way, I was right, but in every way that mattered, I was wrong.

I never expected to learn of the origin of the Brothers.

I never expected to find out that the Ever After is basically the origin point of the Remnant multiverse.

And I never expected that the tree and the blacksmith were the true creator(s) of it all. I had assumed the smith was powerful in her little pocket dimension, but nothing more. Instead it turns out she casually made some gods then (created?) set them off into a wider universe when they grew bored, all so they could learn and grow.

And she knows about those worlds. She knows about Remnant. She knows when RWBY will be needed and intentionally sent them to that point in time and space. She clearly isn’t one to interfere directly, but I think it’s equally clear she isn’t unwilling to sway things.

I also don’t think she approves of what her creations have done, how they’ve comported themselves. She’s such a different image of a god, and now that we’ve seen her the brothers seem so small and petulant.

Where they are big and flashy she is quiet and simple. Where they are brash and demanding, she is patient and helpful. She is everything one could wish a god to be, while they destroyed a planet and left a woman that they made immortal to wander its surface alone for millennia.

Because she hurt their feelings.

And they believe they can stand and judge humanity?

The implications of the new cosmology are fascinating. I feel like we will see the brothers again, and likely even their creator, and it could be glorious.

Then again, this show loves to subvert my expectations, so who knows?

I can’t wait to find out!

[bigsoftmarshmallow]

I like the idea of TotK eventually taking up the sitàr, which sitars IRL have this really enchanting, sort of buzzing tune to them.

And, I could legitimately see him just sort of plucking the strings absentmindedly to relax & de-stress. Though, I don't think he'd go out of his way to specifically play anything, instead just sort of vibing out by listening to the sounds. Doesn't mean he won't sometimes end up playing a familiar tune, but it isn't what he sets out to do.

In my mind, I feel like it'd pair quite well with Nemma's shinobue playing. Unfortunately, I've been unable to find anything where a sitar & a shinobue are played together. However, & maybe this is just my wishful thinking, but I think it'd create a type of sound that is very interesting but harmonizes in a unique way.

I love this. Its so soft, the scene is so nice. I love envisioning this, honestly. As someone highly motivated by music (while I cannot play instruments, my sibling was trumpet and I was in choir! I love to sing) Seeing the man just enjoy playing an instrument beside his lover, who is also playing, doing so in harmony... Its so nice. Good serotonin and dopamine right there.

I wanted to ask Chat what instruments the Ganondorfs would play and if they would sing as well. HILARIOUSLY, it swapped the organ, which Ocarina plays CANONICALLY, and gave it to Twilight Princess, and then Gave Ocarina... Drums??? I found it funny so I am just gunna post it unchanged below so you can enjoy and wonder... Chat, what the absolute fuck.

************************************************************************

That's a fascinating idea! Ganondorf casually playing the sitar while Nemma accompanies him on the shinobue would create an intriguing and unique harmony, blending the deep, resonant tones of the sitar with the light, airy sounds of the shinobue. Here's how each Ganondorf, and Demise, might approach music, their preferred instruments, and whether they sing:

Wind Waker Ganondorf

Instrument: Oud (similar to a lute)

Skill Level: Skilled

Singing: Occasionally hums or sings in a low, thoughtful tone

Approach: Wind Waker Ganondorf has a reflective side, often playing the oud to unwind and meditate on his plans. His playing is deliberate and somber, each note carefully placed, reflecting his contemplative nature. His voice would be deep, carrying the weight of his experiences.

Ocarina of Time Ganondorf

Instrument: Drums

Skill Level: Intermediate

Singing: Rarely, and only in a chant-like manner

Approach: Ocarina of Time Ganondorf prefers the primal beats of drums, which he uses to channel his energy and focus before battle. His playing is powerful, almost ritualistic, and when he does sing, it’s more of a deep, rhythmic chant meant to inspire his followers or intimidate his enemies.

Twilight Princess Ganondorf

Instrument: Pipe organ

Skill Level: Highly skilled

Singing: Not typically, but his voice would be deep and commanding if he did

Approach: Twilight Princess Ganondorf is drawn to the grandeur and power of the pipe organ. His playing is intense, dramatic, and filled with dark emotion, often filling the halls of his castle with ominous, echoing chords. He sees the organ as an extension of his own imposing presence.

Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf

Instrument: War horn or conch shell horn

Skill Level: Intermediate

Singing: Loud, war-like shouts rather than singing

Approach: Hyrule Warriors Ganondorf enjoys instruments that reflect his warrior spirit. The war horn suits him well, its powerful blasts rallying his forces and striking fear into his enemies. His music is bold and straightforward, much like his approach to battle.

Tears of the Kingdom Ganondorf

Instrument: Sitar

Skill Level: Intermediate, with potential for growth

Singing: Soft, meditative hums

Approach: As you envisioned, TotK Ganondorf would find solace in the sitar, its enchanting tones helping him to relax and reflect. His playing is more about the journey and the feel of the instrument than any particular piece of music. His humming would be soft, almost as if he's lost in thought, complementing the calming sounds of the sitar.

Demise

Instrument: Large taiko drums

Skill Level: Expert

Singing: Powerful, guttural chants

Approach: Demise would resonate with the thunderous booms of taiko drums, playing them with a ferocity that mirrors his own nature. His drumming would be intense, full of raw power, and his chanting would be guttural and commanding, as if calling forth the very forces of the earth itself.

Each of these characters brings their unique personality to the music they play, reflecting their nature and the way they interact with the world around them.

[sunsetwaltz]

[Rough Thoughts on Finale - General Spoilers]

FIN at around 110h. (Minus an hour or two spent in photo mode or leaving the game idle lol)

And I'm STILL missing 2 achievements 😩 At least only one of them requires more exploration.

Warning: Mainly negative impressions below.

More than anything, I think I'm relieved the game's finally over for me. Unfortunately I stumbled on a number spoilers on the way (my fault tbh), so things didn't hit as hard as they could've. It's fine; I just wish the music had been more intense and emotionally stirring. The scenes could've really used that extra oomph - the voice acting and visuals alone weren't enough imo. It's a bit sad when the "best" part of the music was the recognisable DAI tracks.

Although the final fight(s) and ending were more definitive than the Inquisition's (base game) finale, I felt kind of...idk ambivalent as I watched the last scenes roll? Like "That's it? Hmm. I see." I couldn't muster the joy or celebratory mood or even bittersweet feelings I'd expected to come with closing a nearly decade-long chapter.

Honestly it felt a little surreal. My whole playthrough had been laced with an undercurrent of (unsurprising) disappointment and "it could've / should've been like this" thoughts, so maybe I should thank my stars the ending didn't bring any more disappointment.

Part of me can't help but remember the emotional reactions I had after finishing DA2, DAI / Trespasser, ME3 or even other games like FFXIV (incl DT). Now those games had elicited strong emotions. They had higher highs and lower emotional lows; any disappointment I had with those games was felt more keenly because the journey had been full of surprises and many joys. Whereas with DA:V, my journey has mainly been like a steady line? There were things I liked in DA:V and everything else was lacklustre tbh. It was missing the emotional rollercoaster and adventure I'd craved from Thedas :/

Don't get me wrong I did enjoy playing DA:V - I wouldn't have continued otherwise. But would I recommend this game at full price? No. I don't regret playing it but I can't in good conscience suggest someone else do so when at its core DA:V is missing the essential "DA" ingredients - compelling nuanced writing, world building and party characters.

DA:V may borrow names from the DA world of Thedas but it doesn't feel like Thedas - these names feel little more than set dressing or props. Like many have expounded before me, by "playing it safe" with the writing the devs stripped away the immersive things players loved about DA. Too many times did DA:V's script feel too superficial, too casually modern and too insincere(?) in regards to the previous games' established worldbuilding. Quantity over quality, new player experience and cinematics over roleplaying seemed like BW / EA's main priorities. Y'know instead of the DA fans who have been waiting ages for this game after being left on a major cliffhanger. Everything elf-related (incl. the veil jumper Rook experience) felt like a "token effort" at best; I can't imagine how much worse it'd be to play as a qunari or LoF.

I could go into the specifics of what I liked vs. disliked and properly discuss the major story beats (or even Act 3 alone), but I'll stop now. Time to head to bed and maybe later I can think about watching the game's other possible endings(?), romances, etc. It'll be interesting to see the other choices - and if Neve still feels like the game's deuteragonist (or the devs' pet favourite) when she's not y'know "chosen".

TL;DR I'm annoyed some of the appearances / transmog are bugged (i.e. locked despite having completed the requisite quest, etc). I hope they actually fix it and add a golden nug feature too 😔

[crappy-lei]

this book, i mean this goddamn book.

i was reading "a little life" from the time i was feeling isolated and also not feeling anything actually. i truly underestimated and expected this book to be awful, considering it was 'overrated/hyped'. i was casually skimming til i finished the chapter one first section of the book, eventually i wanted to stop because it was just that good and i don't feel like ending it too soon. i thought about how i wanted to linger on this book as long as i can, if it meant reading and sticking around with these lovely sad characters and their not-so-little stories—to somewhow arouse a feeling in me and it feels like spending time with this book were like choosing to remain yourself on a complex relationship and as well as it feels like having a deep friendship and creating an intense connection or intimacy with someone close from home that you've been longing to love or idk.

this extremely weird attachment i'd developed within this book, i think t'was the sense of comfort and relief that i'm unconsciously relying on even tho i'm simultaneously perceiving the subtle joy and pain from the sadness itself.

and that's when i decided to read another book (daisy jones and the six which i unexpectedly hated it & the seven husbands of evelyn hugo like wow it was so good) that would kill my time by idle reading that would alter and forget this current novel i'm reading in order to reread again the first chapter and cost my time to restore those wholesome feelings that would feel like the first time. yeah i'm that desperate twat that would do everything to relive the nostalgia sensation. i've repeatedly visited the two chapters thrice and third chapter twice. still can't get over how disturbed and anxious i was that night when i was reading the half of chapter three - third section.

this is the kind of story you are expected to encounter all the saddest and traumatic moments so painfully numb to the point you won't cry for it which tears are solely reserved for the happy moments you'd wished for granted. crying for the small things is much more agonizing.

slowburn stories will always be my favorite and this one really tested my patience to the fullest. i mean it took 512 pages to see the characters finally- haha

page 690 u crushed my heart and it felt like its about to burst.

"dear comrade" wtf then "lispenard street' i've never ever brought some tissues while reading—in my entire experience. literally got nothing to say and i'm not even exaggerating.

feeling overwhelmed everytime i continue to read the remaining chapters, it was like this book was a reminder of my rigid life: constant pressures, collections of what-if's, things i should've and could've done while i'm still young and figuring shit out and sieze the youth energy in me but really at this age i'm already filled with solemn regrets in the sense of nostalgia, and again it feels like i'm having parallel feelings and visions of myself when i turn 30 and this story will be destined to mine. it is truly difficult to read but it has this little comfort i'm craving for myself or from someone i've been pining to attain but couldn't and this book provided the lack of emotions, social connections, and more specially this intense detachement i've been experiencing.

all i could think about is jb, mal, andy, harold, and mainly jude and willem. feels like the book is still not over yet, felt like their stories are still running in my head and i wanted to keep and them and feel their presence as long as i wanted and i'd cry for them but at this point i'm dead inside and i missed them already.

it's been 24hrs since i've finished the book and i still think about them. i tried to sleep the sadness off but still i was dreaming about them. i can't get them off my mind, i'm trying to put into words to somehow point out the aftereffects so that i could deal something regarding to this shitty feeling but til now i couldn't describe everything i'm feeling. it's not the trauma that stays with me, it's the characters in the story. albeit they're fictional but they were like my friends already; given the short time i've spent with them felt like years. they are so alive in my mind even though some of them actually died in the story but idk it is just weird that i'm a college dropout yet it seemed likw i was having the best college experience i've never had while i was reading and since i've reached the end, it left me feeling empty with all those years i've endured and suffered with jude, harold, willem, jb, andy, mal and even julia were already gone and now it seemed like i'm entering my 30's still lost like how lost i was in my 20's but the difference is this is the real adulting phase, a life not existing in a book without them and i could never ever restore those friendships again, i could never have those people; that kind of bond; that sense of belongingness and connection were eventually aging. it haunts me everytime considering that it really reflects the reality i'm living in. ever since i've finished the book, i'm not prepared to go back and be in the present and let the current life happens to me. all the emotions becoming resonant, echoing its sadnesses and peaknesses of life. but now i wanted to reel in for the company of the lows not with the highs and let them feel through my insides until it becomes fortitude as jude said at some point in his darkest moments. i really missed them and my friends from home. it is fucked up when u realized you are more alone than you think it was. i wish i could have something like them the four of them.

[owlettie]

Kaiju No. 8 Fan Comic Expansion

A written scenario from the comic I drew. It’s more like a self insert OC x Gen Narumi thing. More oc than anything.

I have no beta testers, just grammarly. Bear with me.

Tags: Cringe (lovingly), Yume ship, Self Insert OC, OcxCanon build up, More OC lore, timeskips within each hyphen, this takes place 3-4 years before main story, I am hopelessly in love with Gen, yapping sess in the end

Word count: 1.58 K (Last time I wrote this much was my 5th grade hetalia fanfic lmao)

Arriving in Japan’s hot summer only to train for less than a month for the auditions is crucial for Persephone. It was her only chance to escape all of the negative people and memories from her old country; moving to the country of Kaiju seemed like a haven for her.

Unlike the average person who wishes to become a JAKDF officer, she had connections to high-ranking officials in her youth.

In her first year of high school, she won a scholarship program to live in Japan for a year to study their culture and history. The citizens never knew peace when it came to Kaiju. It was her first time learning about what that word meant. Her host sister and Persephone wanted to go grocery shopping, but they were in the crossfire of Yoju Kaijus crawling around. Persephone rose to distract the Yoju in a crisis, buying her sister time to run away and hide. Her unruly brown locks hit across her face as she uses the reptilian-like Yoju’s scales as a shield and blade. She was effectively damaging the Yoju’s legs, immobilizing them. Before Persephone could give it a finishing blow, the officers from the First Division arrived. They were impressed with the potential growing inside of her, a simple business card was handed in case the future of hers were to change and work for them. To their wishes and her unfortunate circumstances, it became true.

Scoring a spot for the First Division is no easy feat. It’s where the best of the best reins to protect its fellow citizens. For Persephone to be a foreigner, many eyes were on her. She knew that coming to Japan would have a lot of high expectations on her, even if she wasn’t that fluent in the language the aura around them was tense. It was orientation for all of the new officers joining the division. Persephone stood in the front row as Captain Gen Narumi and Vice Captain Eiji Hasegawa welcomed them.

Seeing Hasegawa in a professional light was a bit jarring for the woman to perceive but she adapted quickly as he will now be one of her bosses rather than a guardian. Narumi is a recently instated captain. He was known to have a more casual air around him but all the officers treated him seriously and professionally. Hasegawa reminded her before the ceremony about Narumi; informing her that they were both similar with high aptitudes before wielding a Kaiju’s part. Hearing it from the tall gentleman, it was clear that she would be just as talented and powerful as The Captain of The First Division.

‘Narumi Gen…I will become stronger so I can become your equal.’ Her rosy pink eyes stare intensely at the two-tone-haired man.

-

Training is essential for everyone, and Persephone was no exception. Aside from sleeping, eating, and drawing, training was the main focus. Spending hours training and working out, the petite girl heads out of the room. A figure walked past her like nothing but she was quick to realize it was the captain. She must make a good first impression. Persephone stood straight with a smile, “Good Evening, Gen-san!” She exclaimed in gratitude and respect.

Narumi stood still for a moment, questioning if he heard her right. ‘Gen-san? Oh right, she’s a foreigner. Okay.’ Quickly realizing the person he passed, the male simply shrugged it off, a slight head nod before walking away.

‘I did it. He listened…I think? Oh well. I need to go to my dorm room. Gen-san is very respectful, right? I’ll be sure to call him that again next time.’

-

“Gen-san! Good work out there, today!” A bright smile beams on her face as the division makes their way back to headquarters. The male with his slick back hair let out an audible sound of amusement. During their previous passes, it was just the two of them but now the entire division looked back at the sudden closeness and familiarity that the rookie has to the captain.

Shinonome gently tugged on the brunette’s arm before whispering in her ear.

”Castellano, Gen is his first name. Narumi is his surname. We call him Narumi-san, not Gen-san.” It was straightforward but kind which only made the Latina woman’s cheeks flare up into a deep rose color.

”EEEEeeeeehhhhhhhh?????!!!???!” Her shock gasps, staring at the platoon leader and back at the captain; practically giving herself whiplash as the officers surrounding them whisper and chuckle among themselves.

“I’m so sorry!” Persephone quickly bowed at 90 degrees, wishing that no one else could see her red and embarrassed face.

“You can apologize to me with your strength,” Narumi stated, breaking the silence as Persephone looked up with a relieved look.

”Yes sir!”

-

Even though Narumi Gen can be childish and lazy aside from his Kaiju slaying duties, Persephone tends to be similar whenever she’s free from training. Following the platoon leader’s informative correction of Persephone’s respectful words, the girl hasn't brought herself to call the captain, “Narumi-san.” No matter how hard she tries.

“Ugh, it’s so weird to call him like that when I’ve been calling him Gen-san the entire time!! Whhhyyy!!! You would think that by watching anime as a kid and going to a Japanese school I should know!! I should know!! Aaahhhh, it’s so cringey!! It’s a simple surname. It’s Na….Na…Nananaaa..ruuuu..Mimi….Naru…Naru…mmm…iiii…”

”Castellano. You’re still here?”

”AAAahh! I mean- y-yes! Uueeh?! N-Na-Na-Nar-Narumi—sa-sa-saaa-“

”Gen-san is fine.” He raised his hand up to reassure her. His hair was down, and his choppy layered dyed bangs covered his eyes a bit, leaving his face more obscure to the rookie.

”Gen-sama.” A spur of the moment Peresephone’s mind completely jumped to an honorific for the gods, it caught both of them off guard. Realizing her mistake, she made an sideways L shape on her right hand to tuck under her chin to play it off like a joke. This threw off Narumi where he was holding back his laughter until it spilled everywhere. A hearty laugh escapes her lips struggling to maintain a smile from the embarrassment and humor.

“HAHAAHAHAA GEN-SAMA? I KNOW I’M THE BEST BUT PFFFTT AHAHAHAAHAH!” His hands wrapped around his waist as he bent over from laughter. The girl’s face went red but let out a fit of giggles seeing this new side of the captain.

“Gen-san! Gen-san! I won’t call you that again. Or in front of them.” Her lips curl up into an amused smile, calming down as Gen looks back at her.

“Mm. Gen-san is fine if it’s from you. I‘ve seen how you train, let that be Gen-sama’s privilege to you.” His tone became playful, reassuring her that it was all good, a slight tease to the sama part.

“Oh, Gen-sama is so gracious. I will do my best.” A teasing phrase to him.

“’If it’s only me?’ What does that even mean? Is it because I’m a foreigner? Must be huh…gaijin privileges is..interesting.”

—————

This is the comic in question if this is your first time seeing this. Thank you for making it to the very end.

[castlebyersafterdark]

i have a bit of an odd q and as your so insightful i wonder what you might have to say. i have been reading the fic you recommended on poly couples (the orgy one?) and its interesting so far cos i have never been into that but im open minded and the fic seems to explore these viewpoints so you can learn more about the culture. i havent finished it yet but i hope mike's jealousy gets explored more in a healthy way, like being able to talk about it, letting jealousy exist as an emotion but im hoping they dont turn it into a kink or something, where unchecked jealousy is allowed to roam free and hurt people.

so anyway it made me think of something youv'e said about how sex can be casual and fun but also sacred and deep if you want it to, and i think this has often been how i've butted heads with people about love and sex in my life (and probs on byler spicy tumblr too lbr). i recently found out im a HSP and apparently that means that sensitive people like me see sex as a more otherworldly, magical and kind of awe-inspiring thing instead of it just being a part of your day or a bit of fun lol. i always felt self-conscious and wished i could be more casual with sex and relationships, because its hard to explain this abstract thing of sex being elusive and inexplicable. i dont mean in a spiritual or religious way and i dont mean it shouldnt be casual either, but rather its sort of like souls... in that humans will never really understand it? like, emotionally. and it made me wonder, for the people who don't see sex like this, what is that magical mysterious thing that makes life worth living?

like, without art and beauty and the sublime and all this magic thats beyond like human comphrension, life is just a series of work eat sleep have sex laugh a bit see your friends see your kids grow bla bla. it's like, where's the magic? why is sex not this magical mystery for them?

but im also realising that some people may never see sex this way so they perhaps dont experience the super-magical highs that HSP people can feel (as well as the super low lows, so it's swings and roundabouts). like, apparently the neuron connections are just more intensified, so i can cry or get totally washed away in a song or a moment of beauty or whatever it may be, nuance, etc... its a hard thing to talk about because it sounds like it's offending non-HSP people but i suppose HSP people have been shunned in society (urban planning and society isnt made for them, too hectic and harsh and competitive etc), so i don't mind too much. there's great research on it that i'm trying to do more of to understand. but reading that fic has really made me think wow... sex is so different for everyone, that its kind of mad we all talk about it like its one experience we all share. i guess the physicality is but the emotional experience must be different for everyone. just like love perhaps! and youve mentioned being intense and imaginative about your phases and getting into fictional characters etc, so i wonder if lots of people in fandom, or you perhaps, identify as Highly sensitive and thats why we are all so intensely moved by byler, art, music, etc???

Gosh I'm flattered you consider my ramblings insightful so thank you!! Thoughts under the cut due to my somewhat conflicted hypocrisy of wanting/not wanting to talk about my life hahaha:

First about that fic - which I absolutely adored. I think it really struck me less on the poly/exploratory group sex aspect of it (super engaging and interesting of course) and more on the portrayal of Will??? I toe the line between wanting to get too personal and staying zipped about me too much, but why not? Fuck it. Literally no where else do I really talk about myself online, I've always been hesitant for some reason. I feel comfortable here. Anyway, that story was a fascinating look into a lifestyle so unlike anything I've known and also not quite the details of Will's life but his personality in that fic was super relatable. His perception of himself and how others perceived him. The whole emotional arc of how he wished within that story of having Mike in high school and ooooh that just struck me in this ache I also know intrinsically. I recommend that fic so highly. Ughh. Anyway. Back to to the other things!

It's always interesting learning about different people's experiences and viewpoints on sex and what it means for them. And it can mean different things to the same person over a course of a lifetime. Like - I've never been poly, but there was a time in my life where sex was solely about fun and the physical feelings, you're young and on your own and freedom can be positive and negative. To each their own, I support everyone's journeys! And there's no correct way to have a specific lifestyle - you just learn what is/isn't for you. I'm glad I had a curious, exploratory phase. Learned a lot about myself. The good and the bad. I'll leave it there. Hook-up culture ended up not for me. So, maybe you're onto something. It's nothing I've honestly ever looked into (admittedly, I never knew this was a thing, HSP as you've described it as like a whole school of thought and personality type? I'm going to research at some point, I'm fascinated).

But, yes, I do subscribe to the mind that sex can just be a connection with a friend. It can be something you do with a friend because you're bored and that sounds interesting! Meaningless but still meaningful because you just... wanted to. Physical. Emotional. Both. Meant nothing. Meant everything. And I can understand the mindset I think you're describing, that it can be a heightened thing, something beyond what I've described. Maybe it has nothing to do with love per se what you're describing, but having found love and found it so sooo all-consuming actually? It can take on a whole other something that I'd never experienced before. And still, with that same person you have had these almost other-worldly experiences with - also with that same person sex can be none of that haha. Not cathartic, just physical. Casual. And all are valid!! So, there's insight into my mindset expanded? Where I understand what you're saying and that it really can be like what you're describing. Sex is just the most personal thing you can do, honestly. Hard to say why feelings and brains manifest in the way they do.

All of this to say for your big question: "and it made me wonder, for the people who don't see sex like this, what is that magical mysterious thing that makes life worth living?" I don't know!! I want to be cheesy and say my answer is love, and having found my person I want to go with that answer however corny, regardless of that aspect of a relationship - but that's just personal and not everyone finds that and it's still a worthwhile life lived without having that exact experience. I'm not sure anyone can answer this for anyone but themselves. It is very much of the soul. Hard to type out what your own is made of, I guess is my point.

and youve mentioned being intense and imaginative about your phases and getting into fictional characters etc, so i wonder if lots of people in fandom, or you perhaps, identify as Highly sensitive and thats why we are all so intensely moved by byler, art, music, etc???

This has been such an interesting message because it's just really fascinating, this read of me, not to sound self-absorbed but I'm so intrigued about this personality stuff you've now beamed into my awareness. What you've described feels very familiar, maybe a little less intense and the sex stuff maybe doesn't correlate 1:1 but I am the kind of person who has always gotten a little too caught up in imagination and fantasy and fiction. And not that it's a bad thing, but it's definitely intense. I just get lost in my own head and into shows and books and movies. Always have. Maybe its a hyper sensitivity thing. I'm going to have to read up.

[scourgefrontiers]

i think a lot about how much ive grown and changed as a person, not the least of which being how i went from a super heavy kinnie to someone who hardly kins at all

my journey with kinning was like...idk. it started with learning about what otherkin was, and i realized that damn i have a super strong connection with demons for some reason, and i genuinely wished i was an actual demon. this was in 2013 ish. that was my first time calling myself a kinnie

then my first experience with fictionkin specifically was with...unfortunately, prussia from hetalia lol. that was my first fictionkin. then shit got out of control from there bc then i proceeded to keep tacking on fictional characters onto my identity until they BECAME my identity.

i became a kinnie at a very interesting and formative part of my life--the mid-teen years. and honestly? i dont think it was the healthiest thing for my growth. b/c my identity sort of became...nonexistent for a while? i based my whole self around fictional characters. i didnt want to be myself because i didnt know who "myself" was. and unfortunately this lasted into my...well, mid-20s. im 26 now and it took me until i was ABOUT 24 to actually find my real core identity outside of fictional characters to the point of where i was proud and happy to know myself and call myself just...dan. thats me! im not dan plus fu, kidou, raditz, etc....im just dan. and thats enough!

so for me, being a kinnie was a result of not knowing who i was and using fictional characters to sort of fill in that hole in my identity. i wanted to be them b/c i didnt know who myself was, or maybe i didnt like who i was either and wanted to replace myself with them. i loved fu and lots of other ppl did, so i wanted to be him so i could be loved like that. i wanted to be funny like him. i wanted to be strong like raditz. i wanted to be smart and athletic like kidou. i wanted to be cool like dan phantom. i wanted to be anything but the real me and that hampered my growth as a person for a very, very long time

it took me a long while to reach the point im at right now--where im confident in my identity and dont need to use fictional characters as a crutch. and im not necessarily saying being fictionkin is inherently bad--it can be fun or even used to cope with situations such as trauma, i understand that--but when it came to me and my own situation, i excused it as being a "spiritual" thing and sort of clung to the idea that i was "soul-connected" to fictional characters who existed in another universe at the same time as me...which in retrospect was kind of a reach lol. but like. idk. it ended up not being spiritual at all even though i convinced myself it was. it was due to identity issues and, to an extent, actual real delusions--i genuinely thought that i HAD to uncover and piece together my "canon" lives to the point of obsession. it was super unhealthy for me and brought me so much unnecessary stress, everyone around me could see it too.

so uh. what am i tryna conclude here. i guess like. be careful? if youre a fictionkinnie, especially a young one, please take the time to do some introspection. is it just for fun? is it a lighthearted thing? or are you so intensely deep into it that its a huge part of your identity to the point of where you lost your actual self? to the point of having breakdowns over doubles? can you function in life without the kin part?

for the record, i still consider myself generally otherkin--i do still heavily identify with demons and have dreams of being a demon and all that good kin stuff. but its not who i am. i have a list of fictional characters i kin still--hidden and not advertised anymore--but its at the back of my mind now and is more of a casual "oh yeah im raditz haha" kind of thing if that makes sense? its not affecting my life as much as it did anymore and im happy about that

i hope nobody takes this personally lol. im just basically airing my thoughts about my own kin journey out and sharing my experience and thoughts abt the thing as a whole. end text post

[laugh-of-the-medusa]

lorde maybe I’ll commission someone for this

u kno what I need in life? an AU where Azula runs away or gets banished (or anything involving her leaving the Fire Nation for “good” before the events of ATLA) and ends up in Hira’a before Ursa does (idk she got lost somewhere lmao).

Anyways, she’s a prickly menace but somehow finds a father figure in Ikem/Noren. For a while, she finds peace there. Like, she doesn’t lose her edge, but she learns what it’s like to be genuinely loved by someone, to have a parent whose approval you don’t have to win because it’s always freely given. And Ikem is patient and kind, even when he’s being firm about Azula not pushing him around.

Also, like, imagine a scene displaying Azula’s vulnerability? And her age. Like, her, acting like a child (which she was) and being terrified that Ikem would hurt her for disappointing him because Ozai had no qualms about doing it.

At some point she starts call him “father.” As a joke, mostly. One of those sarcastic things where Azula’s rolling her eyes, “okay, dad” moments even when she goes and does whatever it is Ikem asks her to do. Maybe insert a melodramatic scene with Azula having a fever (Zuko-style when he decided to turn over to the light side lmao), and she deliriously calls Ikem “father.” And afterwards, it’s just a thing that she does. Sarcastic or not. And even if she doesn’t do it often, and she still calls him by his name, sometimes she just call him dad in earnest.

Enter, at some point, Ursa. Maybe Azula wasn’t there when she returned.

Just like… imagine that scene:

Azula knows rage, knows how it burns; knows its fire intimately because she cradled in her chest for years, welcomed the way it coursed through her veins with dizzying intensity. She knows rage by the smell of burnt flesh, knows it by the scars Ozai left behind on her back whenever she disappointed him. (I was six, Azula remembers telling Ikem. He said it was his duty, as my father and as fire lord, to ensure I will not be a disappointment to my nation.)

It is only her respect for Ikem (and the genuine fondness hidden beneath the casual indifference she likes to wear) that stops her from unleashing that fury. It burns like acid beneath her skin, but she keeps herself still. Azula wonders what she would have have done if she had met this woman years ago, when the hurt was still a raw and aching thing. She would have burned her where she stood, with a dagger made of flame so the pain she inflicts is precise, because how else could she make this woman understand her own suffering if not by carving it onto her own flesh?

But Azula doesn’t wish her harm. It isn’t the besotted look Ikem wears for this woman that stays her hand (it isn’t even her knowledge of the past they shared). Even from this angle, Azula can see that the woman is not Ursa. At least, this woman is not wearing her mother’s face. Her chi is startlingly familiar though, and Azula knows it like her own even after all these years. She reaches for it, brushing against it with a softness foreign to her. The woman startles, and finally turns to look at her.

“Oh, hello,” she says with a smile. Her expression is kind, and her eyes hold no fear or contempt. She speaks with a rasp Azula has never heard in her childhood, but the voice remains unmistakeable.

Azula clenches her jaw, swallows harshly. She tears her eyes away from the woman’s face to look at Ikem. “Did you catch another stray while I was gone?”

“Azula,” Ikem says, his tone is light despite the warning in it. The woman doesn’t flinch at her name, Azula doesn’t expect her too, there is no dawning recognition in her eyes either. “This is Noriko.”

—

And just, like, imagine Azula always being so torn about “Noriko.” Because there’s a part of her that wants so desperately to lash out, but her newfound conscience tells her this woman doesn’t deserve it. Oh, Ursa would have understood every quip and barb Azula would deliver with scathing carelessness; but Noriko wouldn’t. Noriko who is kind to her, who laughs at her jokes even when they are callous, who is affectionate in a way she doesn’t remember Ursa ever being (to Zuko, maybe, but never her; she was always her father’s daughter. Maybe, this time around she’s simply lucky enough to have someone better to call father.)

—

Also, a scene where like:

“Did you tell her about me?”

“I did.”

“And she still chose this.” (Azula looking obviously hurt, and so, so, so young.)

“Azula.”

“Does she hate me that much she would rather forget me?” (Tightness in her chest, the back of her throat burning.)

(Ikem drawing her into a hug she tries to resist at first.) “She didn’t think you would have wanted to see her.”

No, Azula thinks. She didn’t but… “That doesn’t mean she can take that choice away from me.” (Then, clearly hurting.) “But she was a coward and she ran away instead of facing me.” She left me, she thinks. Again.

(Azula leaving. Noriko overhearing everything. Talking with Ikem about her memories. More angst and resolution happens along the way. Kiyi is born knowing Ursa as her mother.)

—

But also something more wholesome like Azula holding Kiyi when she’s born, Kiyi having her wrapped around her lil finger even when she pretends this isn’t the case. Azula being a better older sibling to Kiyi than Zuko ever was to her because she has the benefit of being in a healthier environment. (Also something about her newfound relationship with Kiyi making her think about her relationship with Zuko, how to patch things up with him.)

I mean. Idk where the fuck this is going or whatever else is happening.

Maybe, something to the effect of Azula spending some years in Hira’a with Ikem until after the threat of whatever she was running away from more or less disappears. Timeline is pushed forward a bit so everyone’s just a tad bit older when the events of canon starts.

Azula eventually venturing out of Hira’a to offer her services as some sort of mercenary or spy (being in an acting troupe earned her a few skills, including being decent with a sword; plus brushing up on old skills taught to her by Mai and Ty Lee, trying to “perfect” what she remembers and searching out texts and teachers to bridge that. At first she tells herself it’s because she needs to know how to fight without her bending, blue flame is recognizable after all, but the truth of it is, really, is that she misses them and this is the only way she knows how to keep their memory alive.)

I guess she’d return to Hira’a sporadically, and what have you. But for the most part, traveling as a mercenary for hire is how she meets Gaang.

—

ALSO. Imagine: Azula being all “pro-fire nation” as a product of her seeing the Fire Nation through the eyes of its people (and it’s colonies) rather than something ingrained in her as Princess. Like. I want her time in Hira’a unlearning Ozai’s imparted shittiness to be a way of her also, at first, losing faith in the throne and being disenchanted by their supposed greatness. And then just, learning how to love her people because she sees them from a whole new perspective. Yeah. That. I want that growth too.

OOOH lastly: Azula seeing Zuko again for the first time and seeing his scar and then immediately feeling angry because what the fuck did he do to you?! and she doesn’t have to ask who did it, she knows because she has her own scars to match beneath her clothes. But she’s still angry, and she wants Ozai to pay for hurting her brother. Her mother’s son. (Azula, at some point, telling him about Ursa and Kiyi and Ikem… Zuko’s redemption arc in part being brought by Azula as much as it is Iroh. Azula still butting heads with Iroh because Iroh, wise as he is, still sees her as Ozai’s golden child even after all these years. Because he doesn’t understand Azula’s sharp sense of humor the way Ikem did, the way Ursa-as-Noriko learned it. Iroh and Azula developing a better relationship through Zuko, or because of Zuko, because they both care about him.)

—

(I mean. Azula’s still gonna be gay as fuck here too. Maybe not the focus, but she’s gonna be gay af. It’s a toss up between long lost childhood friends to lovers with Ty Lee (or Mai or both of them lmao) or something with more rivals to lovers vibes with Katara OR even something unexpectedly dangerous with Toph, damn that’s bound to be chaotic OR actual rivals to lovers with Suki because Azula the mercenary has had run ins with the Kyoshi warrior OR heck Yue lives in this one because gdi I say so. cue “When the Sun Loves the Moon”)

[tentative-wanderer]

Reviews: Homophobic Cop Marries Gay Ghost, President’s Son Gets Together with Prince

Recently watched 2 movies with gay main characters in different genres. One was Red, White & Royal Blue (available on Amazon), one was 🌟 Marry My Dead Body 关于我和鬼变成家人的那件事 (available on Netflix). Spoiler-free thoughts below 😊:

❤️🤍💙 Red, White & Royal Blue is an American romcom. It has a 10/10 trailer—incredibly inviting. The movie depicts many women in power, I love that! Many witty jokes, nice! The movie might be better if it were a drama series instead; to save time, it zoomed through the falling-in-love part with the use of text messages—the production team packaged that as well as they could, but it was still too rushed. The ending left me wondering if there could’ve been a tiny bit more to make it feel more complete. Though the movie doesn’t score as highly as its trailer in my opinion, it’s still a decent movie.

(That reminds me of how That Musical Montage in episode 1 of the Heaven Official’s Blessing donghua made me super keen to watch the rest of the series, but it turns out that that was the best part. Quality-wise, Red, White & Royal Blue is overall better than the TGCF donghua though.)

👻👮‍♂️💓 Marry My Dead Body is a Taiwanese mystery + comedy + supernatural movie. Let me copy the blurb from Google: “Wu Ming-Han, a straight policeman who is homophobic and ghost-phobic, accidentally picks up a red wedding envelope while collecting evidence. He finds himself betrothed to the envelope's owner Mao Pang-Yu, a gay man who died under mysterious circumstances. The duo must work through their differences and join forces to solve the case, seeking justice for Mao.” (Real-life context: marriages between dead people and live ones are/were an actual thing in Chinese culture.)

I’ve just finished watching this movie, love it! Let me get the “con” out of the way first: I wish the movie ended differently! The ending was not unsatisfying, it’s just that I personally could have been more satisfied.

Okay, now I am free to gush.

This movie is HILARIOUS. Won’t describe the humour here, you can see it in the trailers on YouTube.

I love the unravelling of the mysteries (police cases). The feelings would not have hit half as hard without them and the exploration of Maomao’s non-romantic relationships (formed during his life) after his death. Even though I highly value a good plot apart from the romance when I read/watch something, I like talking about feelings more, so that’s what I’ll do.

I have Intense Feelings about these guys. They went from being Not Keen about getting stuck with each other to being really cute together—I notice that the movie managed to do this EVEN WITHOUT having them hold hands or do anything physical beyond that. That is crazy. Romantic physical contact is great, but if you can show chemistry without it, and with minimal flirting—that is exceptional.

(Side note: I think it would be harder to convincingly depict a heterosexual pair arriving at romantic feelings the way Wu Ming-Han and Maomao did: (partly) through constant banter and trading barbs. A man looking down on a woman would have come across as a lot meaner because the threat that poses is larger in the patriarchal society we live in.)

Wu Minghan went from casually homophobic to being on track for bisexuality for a ghost, such character development. The scene where Wu Minghan genuinely calls Maomao “my husband” for the first time is AMAZING, unexpected. At that moment I was like, oh my god, he loves him. Or at the very least, he has good potential. It had taken a series of hilarious strong-arming, including a close call with the loss of Wu Minghan’s family jewels, to make this dude marry Maomao, but now he’s calling Maomao husband—in that particular state, at that timing. I cried. I was smiling at many points throughout the movie, I also cried at some points. I said something similar when I wrote my review for Merman’s Fall: a book/movie that makes me laugh and cry will go at the top of my favourites list. Unlike my danmei list, my favourite movies list is too short for me to put Marry My Dead Body at the top or bottom, but it’s definitely in there.