#its like santa getting letters. that's how i feel /pos

[francicide]

hey btw i read all the little comments and notes in the reblog of my posts . and i love all of them . so much . those silly like words make me super happy i get excited when i see people reblogging thank u guys . u all are silly goobers and super cool 🙏🙏🤍

[spaceskam]

a special little one for @irolltwenties ❤️

2009

"Package for Manes."

Alex was absolutely, positively sure he'd heard wrong. Except a package dropped on his cot and he had to just stare at it for a moment. This didn’t make sense.

“Well, what are you waitin’ for Manes! Looks like a lady’s handwriting!” Lawrence yelled even though he was right beside him. He was two years older than Alex and had caffeine embedded in his DNA. However, he was the only one Alex could stand so, by all intents and purposes, he was his best friend. 

Alex hesitantly grabbed the package and saw that while, yes, the handwriting was feminine and had apparently been sent from Maria DeLuca, it was most certainly not her handwriting. Instead, it was one he knew extremely well considering how often he’d copied his notes.

No, instead it was Michael Guerin’s.

Alex’s fingers were shaking as he slowly unwrapped it, Lawrence’s breathing over his shoulder the entire time. When he opened the box, it was simply a postcard from Roswell with an empty chain beneath it. The postcard simply said the name of the town in big letters that were inspired by 1960s sci-fi movies with a caricature alien behind it. He slowly flipped it over, though, and saw Michael’s handwriting there too.

Merry Christmas -M

Alex’s mind swam with confusion and his cheeks slowly but surely started turning red. Michael had sent him something for Christmas. He went through the trouble of using Maria’s address so no one would question it and finding out where he was all to send him a postcard and a chain. Maybe it wasn’t over after all.

He put the chain around his neck and wished he had a way to thank him.

2010

“Ooooh, look, a letter for Manes.”

Lawrence walked into their shared apartment with a shit-eating grin on his face, waving around an envelope. Alex didn’t get packages or letters. This last one he got was last Christmas from Michael, but hadn’t seen anything else since.

Still, Alex snatched the letter like he knew exactly who it was from. And, once he saw Michael’s handwriting and Maria’s name, he really did know. He tore open the envelope, eager to see what he’d said. Even if it was just the same message of ‘merry Christmas’ Alex would cherish it. It meant that Michael hadn’t forgotten him.

This time, it really was a letter which had Alex feeling like he was going to explode. He quickly made his way to his room before he read it, ignoring the way Lawrence was teasing him for it.

Alex,

I saw a star and thought of you. I hope North Carolina is treating you well. Merry Christmas.

-M

Alex held his breath and read it over and over and over and hoped there was a hidden meaning. Obviously, there wasn’t. It was simply Michael being lovely and remembering him which was more than enough on its own. 

Except it wasn’t on its own because there was still something in the envelope. 

He pressed the letter over his heart and kept it there, sitting down on his bed before shaking the envelope. A tiny metal pendant in the shape of a star fell out. Alex’s lips parted and he held it up, admiring it and that it was for him. Someone had gotten something that was all for him. Upon closer inspection, he saw a tiny ‘a+m’ engraved into one of the points.

Alex fell back on his bed and tried to remember how to breathe.

2011

This time, even though he was sore and tired from both working to get his degree so he could be an officer and actually doing manual labor, he was ready for the letter. This time, DADT was no longer in place. This time, it came from a PO box and the name Michael Guerin attached to it. This time, he could respond.

Alex nearly cried.

Alex,

Be careful. Be free. Fuck the man.

-M

Alex shook the envelope over his books and a tiny metal heart pendant fell out. This time, a double male sign was engraved on it. Alex laughed and put it on the chain next to the star. He very quickly ripped out a page full of calculus from his notebook and flipped it over.

Michael,

Merry Christmas. Thank you.

-A

He wanted to write so much more, but it didn’t feel right. Instead, he put in time for a vacation soon. He was going to go home.

He was going to go home. 

2012

Michael, 

Europe is pretty, but you’re prettier.

-A

2013

Alex,

Santa Claus is coming to town, are you?

-M

2014

Michael,

There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.

Oh, wait. There’s you.

-A

(sorry that was bad)

2015

Alex,

I took a picture with Santa for the first time as a grown man, now you have to live with it.

-M

2016

Michael,

War is scary. I miss you.

Love, Alex.

2017

Alex,

I haven’t heard from you in six months. I heard there was a bombing, but I didn’t hear anything about you in particular. Are you okay? Is something wrong? Please respond to me if you can. I’m scared for you.

Merry Christmas and I LOVE YOU.

-M

Alex stared at the letter and read it over and over and over. Then he closed it and shook the envelope onto his bed. Out fell another tiny little pendant, the eighth one. He had a star, a heart, a peace sign, a treble clef, an M, a lightning bolt, a Christmas tree, and now a tiny little moon. They all were so, so beautiful.

And none of it mattered because he couldn’t see Michael again. Not like this. Not broken. Not resigning to a life of physical therapy. Not while knowing he was only just now trying to relearn how to walk. Michael wouldn’t want this version of him. This wasn't who Michael had fallen in love with. This was someone else entirely.

Alex held the letter close and closed the pendant into his palm so he wouldn’t lose it. It was his last piece he would get of Michael Guerin.

2018

“Merry Christmas. Wow. It feels weird saying that to you out loud.”

Alex chuckled softly as stared at Michael Guerin. This was the first Christmas they’d seen each other in person and it felt more than a little surreal. They weren’t together, though, but that was okay. Michael had just had his entire world flipped upside down, his brother dying a week prior to Christmas simply being the icing on the cake.

Still, Isobel had put on a happy face for the day and threatened them all so they would come to her Christmas party. It meant Michael, tired and broken as he was, had a snug Santa hat tugged over his curls.

“Merry Christmas,” Alex told him and he meant it.

No one seemed to mind that Michael spent the entire night dosing off on the couch. Whenever anyone paid too much mind to it, Liz would whisper that he was tiring himself out trying to bring Max back and then everyone would shut up.

Alex fought the urge to offer to bring him home.

Present time came around and Michael was able to wake up enough to participate. Maria sat beside him and rubbed his back. Liz adjusted his hat.

They’d all agreed to an extremely last-minute game of Secret Santa that left Alex having to drive to Walmart before they closed Christmas Eve to get Liz a mug. He hoped next year they’d have a bigger head’s up.

Once everyone got their gifts, Kyle decided there was one more.

“Oh, shit, there’s another one back here for Alex,” he said, “Who’s this from?”

No one said it was them, so Kyle simply shrugged and tossed the little box to Alex. He held his breath. He didn’t have to be a genius to know who it was from. He caught Michael’s eye who just gave him a tired smile.

He opened the box to see a tiny metal key pendant and tried not to think about what that meant.

2019

Alex,

Your ass is fire.

-M

“Michael, we are in the same bed,” Alex laughed. A warm foot pressed against his back, urging him to look behind him to see Michael grinning at him wildly.

“Mornin’,” he said. Alex grinned and scooted closer, letting himself be pulled into a kiss. That one kiss led to another and another and another.

“Good morning,” Alex breathed, pulling him close.

If someone would have told him that he would be in bed with Michael Guerin on Christmas morning ten years prior, Alex wouldn’t have believed them. Hell, he wouldn’t have believed them one year prior. The fact that any of it worked out was a novelty.

He was blessed.

“Mm, wait, I got you something,” Michael said, breaking the kiss long enough to reach into his bedside table. He fell back down, holding up the little pendant with a proud grin.

It was a tiny alien head.

Alex shook his head with a smile, moving in to steal another kiss as he grabbed the pendant. He planned to put it on the chain with the other ones. That’s where they belonged. 

And this is where he belonged.

“Merry Christmas, Michael.”

[astorytellerforthatgirl]

Bonding with “Ate Santa Claus”: A Maine’s Fan Generous Heart

I am a former silent fangirl of Maine since 2016 until she released the Open Letter. Recently around 3rd week of January 2018, I decided to be vocal about my support for Maine. Fangirling online is not a new thing for me so I am already familiar how to be objective, positive, and happy with my words. Rule of thumb is “Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.” It worked for me all the times so I applied it as well here for the fandom of Maine. 

I started tweeting first and I created this dedicated fangirl blog entry for Maine. Few fans immediately appreciate my written works for the Phenomenal Star. What warms my heart is the joy and gratitude I am feeling whenever I write about Maine are the emotions they felt too when they read my blog entries or tweets. I continued doing this regardless of how varied my ideas are and how sudden these topics crossed my mind. When a writer like me is not silenced by my thought and heart, it means I have to write it down. Hence, this Tumblr blog becomes the platform for all the things I want to say about Maine.

Almost a month after I am vocal about my support for Maine, an unexpected DM (direct message) in Twitter caught me by surprise. A fan of Maine randomly sent this message:

“Hello ganda good morning, I saw your post, dont get offended ha but I wanted to give you a gift sana. A Microsoft tablet RT, with detachable keyboard. Ung specs nia oarang ipad 4th generation. Its a refurbished unit :).. natutuwa kasi ako how you love Meng so much.” [sic]

I did not know what to say. Even if I wanted to doubt, my gut feeling is loudly telling me she has a pure intention in giving that gift. Since I know how to read people’s aura either through words or pictures, it’s easier for me to separate the those with sincere intentions from a bogus. It’s a skill developed by keen and observant writers since I get inspiration from anything or anyone for my writing and not just what I feel. 

I simply know I can trust her.

She sent the DM last 3rd of Feb, 2018 through my only Twitter account (@rj1421). She offered me if she can send the tablet via shipping or we can meet personally. I chose the latter because when she said she’s an OFW working in an Asian country, I know how costly the shipping fee for a letter alone on international borders so how much more for a tablet. She said she will come home to her family soon and we can meet in that time. I agreed to her suggestion.

March 10, 2018 was the designated date for meeting Ate Santa Claus. I need to use a pseudonym to respect her wishes of staying anonymous. I was excited for that day because it will be the first time for me to have a cafe bonding with a fan of Maine. I want to hear her stories too.

She is very concerned about me. Ate Santa Claus keeps on sending me reminders about the security protocol of her AirBnB accommodation. On the day itself, she texted me to say that I must notify her if I am already nearby. She stayed nearby the busy district of Timog Avenue and Tomas Morato. I grabbed the chance to take a picture of Bahay ni Kuya. Also I hoped I can see the boutique of Francis Libiran (renowned designer of Maine’s majestic princess-like gown in Tamang Panahon) as I went there. I didn’t know it was a private compound and appointments should be held first. Few more minutes after, I reach the accommodation where Ate Santa Claus stays.

As soon as I saw her, I immediately thought she is around my age. I’m around late 20s. I was surprised when she said she’s way older than my guess. She has a youthful vibe. And to use my mama’s words in observing people, “maaliwalas ang bukas ng mukha niya.” I felt comfortable in an instant because of her warm and sincere aura. I just knew it but it is more than just the smiles, a genuine character simply exudes an authentic aura.

We sat down in Coffee Bean to have more bonding time. I wanted to pay for my order but she told me she will take care of it. I did not feel meeting  fan for the first time. What I felt in that moment is my own Ate came home to check on me. She is very caring even if she is not that much expressive.

I love our discussion about Maine. We are on the same page that Maine is the first Filipino mainstream celebrity we admire. Like me, she is also admires volleyball personalities. She shared her own story into which she said that she is thankful Maine reminded her that sometimes, we need to take care and decide for ourselves first. We cannot prioritize other things and people to the extent we are losing ourselves or we are just settling for mediocrity. 

This story is about how she made a brave decision that I am sure most girls will not do. Ate Santa Claus told me she ended a long-time relationship. It is so long that you can round off the number to 10. She felt they are not growing anymore because as she continues to aim for new goals and development, they guy is complacent and settled with what he has for the past years. The guy even told her that she changed completely. I respect how she told me change is inevitable and what we can do instead is to change for good. They separated on a good note as the guy respected her decision too. Ate Santa Claus is already within the supposed marrying age that Filipino culture suggests but there she is, telling me she will not settle for less and with hesitations in her heart despite how long they have been together and even if their families from both sides are ready anytime for their big announcement. My respect for her deepen. 

Another thing I admire about Ate Santa Claus is how much she loves her family. Like me, she wants to support her family in every possible way especially finances. Her heart is so huge that she did not mind allocating her salary for them and just keeping less for herself. OFWs really have a special spot in their hearts for their families. She wants to help them for as long as she can. I told her in the Bible, children who honors and respects their parents are favored and blessed by God.

To add more reminders from her, she told she wants to live her life to the fullest. This is why she balances her work and life experience. From time to time, she travels to different places. She is a wanderlust by heart. I was so amazed with all the local and international destinations she has been. She immersed in their culture too as she travels to connect more to the experiences more than what tourists want to do. 

As our discussion went back to Maine, she told me that FUNgirling (haha sorry for the pun) should be FUN. It must not be stressful or problematic. We already have our own personal challenges and we should not add up the negativity to it. I laughed with her when she told me funny anecdotes about her fangirling to Maine. She told me she is not the type to socialize but here she is, inviting a Maine core fan group to practice a dance number in her airbnb accommodation for a fan-organized party. She invited me too to her place itself and I saw there the Maine fan core group cheering for Maine in ACTually. They were very, very nice too and it felt like a college reunion for me. As I was going home, two of them even accompanied me to the elevator. Little did I know that as soon as Maine herself thanked the SMU for their exclusive party for Maine, Ate Santa Clause with her Maine fan core group also celebrated there. I was like “Hala ate ang cuuuuute!! Dun pala yun pinapractice nila!! They need to wait first for Maine’s post before Ate Santa Claus can tell me it was for that party which they are practicing for. 

Same like Santa Claus, I don’t like going to a crowd or a huge audience but she told me she just went to Broadway to see Maine, much to the laughter of her mom. haha! And recently she just shared how happy and worth it to be a part of the SMU birthday bash for Maine. Out of our love for Maine, we really do things we do not usually do before. Ganun talaga kapag pinahahalagahan mo. I love hearing all those stories about Maine from a fan whom I first met.

She grabbed the tablet and taught me the basics like how to detach the keyboard and how to use its stand. I am still amazed with this gift. Yes I know she is well off but as what I told Ate Santa Claus, not all those with the capacity to give has the willingness to give. Here she is, giving me the tablet wholeheartedly.

Sabi ko, “Ate how can I repay you?” She smiled, and said “Pay it forward”

I felt my tears forming at that moment. Thankfully my over-sized eyeglasses can cover my eyes. She has advocacy too and she wants me to continue doing my passion such as writing. In time, as she said, I will be able to help other people too. I planted her words in my heart so when the time comes I fell down again from failures and rejections, her words will be one of God’s assurance to remember my purpose. 

I will never forget that day for sure. Two strangers become sisters because God used Maine to be our bridge. So this is how it feels like when huge core fan group becomes united that despite of the diversity, we can be one.

Ate Santa Claus. as soon as you read this blog entry, you may have already been back as an OFW. Thank you so much for sharing your personal and fangirling stories with me. 

Just like you Ate Santa Claus, I will propel too in my career and passion as I support my family and strengthen my faith in God. And yes, I will continue reinforcing how much we all love Maine through God’s gift of storytelling in my heart, be it in creative writing or public speaking. Thank you po ulit from me, a happy kiddo RJ, your new little sister!

As for you Maine, look at what you have done. :) You become an instrument to remind us of the wonderful things Life has for us and to be always thankful to the Great Provider above. Thank you and God bless!

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[dailyaudiobible]

08/09/2018 DAB Transcript

Ezra 8:21-9:15 , 1 Corinthians 5:1-13 , Psalms 31:1-8 , Proverbs 21:1-2

Today is the 9th day of August. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it’s great to be here with you in the steamy summer months here in the rolling hills of Tennessee. And I trust that it is pleasant and beautiful wherever it is that you may be in the world, but it's always pleasant here around the global campfire that we enjoy each and every day. And, so, let's settle in and allow God's word to come washing over us as we take the next step forward. This week we’re reading from the English Standard Version and picking up where we left off yesterday. Ezra chapter 8 verse 21 through 9:15.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in our reading from Ezra today. We followed Ezra’s journey to the remnant of Israelites who had survived the exile and had been allowed to return to rebuild Jerusalem and the Temple. And when Ezra got there, he quickly learned about the behavior of those survivors and that he was appalled, right? So, he sat, he tore his clothes. He sat all day long, completely shocked. And what shocked Ezra so bad was the fact that the few who had survived the exile were participating in the very behaviors that had undermined and destroyed their culture to begin with. They were immorally intermingling with the neighboring cultures and this was leading them into idolatry and rebellion against God. And they knew better but they were willfully rebelling against God. And, so, Ezra’ like, God, I'm ashamed, like my face is blushing. I can’t even face You for our sins are piled higher than our heads.

Now, when we get to Paul's letter, we’ve got the same kind of willful rebellion going on and it was taking place 600 years later. So a man and his stepmother were openly having sex within the church at Corinth. And they were being affirmed by the community. And Paul was as appalled as Ezra had been. And, so, Paul’s like…I can’t…I can’t even believe what I'm hearing that’s happening there. So, in both stories, both Old and New Testament stories, we see the extreme of deception, right. The people involved knew the truth, but deception and pride allowed them to rationalize their immorality and the same thing happens…the same thing happens to us. When we allow deception to get a hold of us and start growing within us, we’re invariably going to be lead into some sort of immoral behavior, and as we go that way we’ll justify just about anything, right? Intermingling with sin in ways that we know are wrong will destroy us in the end. If there's anything the Bible has shown us so far this year it’s that and it's the same now as it was 2500 years ago for Ezra and 2000 years ago for Paul. It's because these behaviors establish a new normal so what we once avoided slowly becomes acceptable. And as the process repeats itself in our lives you don't realize that sin is taking hold of us and don't often become aware until destruction is upon us. So, let's consider what we’re rationalizing and justifying that we know is wrong. The voice of deception is going to say, there isn’t a problem, we’re free to do whatever we want. But we have to remember with the Scriptures have told us. Real freedom happens when there is nothing false within us and there's nothing to hide. So, if we consider what we might be hiding we’re going to find the presence of deception and pride.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit, we invite you into that. We have some fairly stark examples from the Scriptures today. We have some fairly stark responses from Scripture today. And, so, we humble ourselves as we invite your Holy Spirit to speak to us individually about the places that we’re allowing deception to grow. And if we continue to let it grow it will lead us on a path away from life, away from the path that we want to be walking on. So, come Holy Spirit we surrender to You. We invite Your presence. We ask that You show us the places that we’re allowing this. And we ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I’ll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hey what’s up everybody? It’s Miguel from Santa Rosa. Leaving a message for James the Teacher in LA. James, it’s ironic because a while ago he had left a comical message about hearing me call in and you thought you were listening to yourself. A couple weeks ago you had left your prayer request for your marriage for struggle against pornography and it was ironic because I was struggling with that as well about this time last year. So, it was like I was listening to myself. So, I wanted to call and encourage you as a brother that’s on the other side of things because my story was very similar. Me and my wife were going through some very tough postpartum challenges. It affected our marriage. It affected my struggle with old sin that had been put away and had reared its ugly head again. But I want to encourage you with what I found to be the most powerful thing was, that the cure that I saw was also the thing I was most scared of, which was inviting my wife into the struggle, to invite her to pray for me. I had to say, look, I am struggling with this thing and you are my greatest strength. Of course, other than Jesus, but she’s there and she’s our strength. So, invite your wife to pray for you and I will be praying for you brother because I’ve been there and I’ve walked through it. So, James I love you. I’m praying for you. May the Lord strengthen you and equip you to fight this battle. You’re not alone my brother. You’re not alone. You will not be left alone. Bless you.

Hi. This is Valerie. I’m calling from south of Atlanta. I’m a couple of days behind and I just listened to August the 4th and my heart just went out to Will in Montana who is feeling discouraged and he’s struggling. Will, at the end of your call where you said Jesus is Lord and at first you seemed hesitant, like he still wasn’t sure, and as you kept repeating it your voice got stronger and stronger and just really touched me, that it seems like you were just really not sure anymore but then the power of God just kinda filled you up and you became reassured and you knew that is where your strength comes from. And I just want to let you know that brother I’m praying for you, I’m praying for your family, and your finances. I know what it’s like and I always tell people you just have to ride the wave. When you’re down you just got to know that you’re going to come back up soon and that God’s going to be there and that He is in everything. And I just want you to know I’m praying for you brother. And also for Asia in Chicago, you called right after that and you’re dealing with a verbally abusive father and you feel like you’re not loved. And I just want to tell you my sweet, your loved, your loved with an abundant love and even when…even when we can’t see it from those around us you just need to know sweetie that there are people that love you, they just don’t know how to show it. They’re struggling in their own way to show how much they love because they’re struggling in themselves. And in those times you just have to put your trust in God that He loves you and that He will be your daddy, that He gave everything He had for you and He’s reaching out for you and He wants to engulf you and hold you and comfort you. And just draw on that. And just know that, above all, you are loved. God bless.

Hello my DAB family. This is Mark Street from Sydney Australia. Today is Tuesday the 7th of August and I’m ringing…I’ve got a lot __ word. I’ve just been thinking about…I’ve been thinking about John from Bethlehem. I’ve been thinking about…today…Show Me God’s Love and I’ve been thinking about Michael from the Tribe of Joseph, the Israelite. And also Rebecca from Michigan. But Gods’ really put on my heart today to pray for Rebecca from Michigan. So, let me pray. Rebecca, I know that you’ve been longing to find a good Christian partner to share your life with and to follow with God. And God really put on my heart to reach out to you and say He hasn’t forgotten about you. I haven’t heard from you for a while Rebecca but, dear heavenly Father we come to You lost sometimes and have grief for not finding a partner, not finding somebody that can love us, forgetting sometimes that You love us more than anybody in this earthly world can. Sometimes Lord we find it hard to feel that human touch from You Lord…and….humans need to think Lord. Lord we lift up Rebecca once again Lord. Fill her with Your love so she feels needed, she feels wanted, she feels cared for by You Lord. And we know You do care for her Lord. Lord, in Your name we ask for these things. I love you Rebecca and I hope things are going well for you. Lee from New Jersey, I heard your message and, yes, we do indeed need to get in contact with each other. Love you family. Talk to you soon again. Bye.

My beloved friends, this is Angel from California. Prayer changes things. God is on the throne and does change things. Don’t forget that. It’s very important that we always remember that when we pray God is the silent listener to every conversation. I was calling today because I’m going to go for brain surgery on Friday and I need your prayers. I have already agreed in the word that the Lord has healed me and when I go in, when the doctors look around, they will not find anything wrong with me because He is, I am in this world. I would very much appreciate your prayers. I love you. And may God bless each and every one of you. Angel from California.