#italics or capitalization or even bold wasn't enough

[frogsare-friends]

i've said it so many times before. but i'll say it again. conrad was fucking evil in the car scene. and if jere had done that he'd be murdered. i just don't get how anyone can see that as him being hot or funny. i can admit petty conrad is alright "sounds like an aunt julia problem" "i'm sorry my grandpa didn't love you as much as he loved my mom but i'm not surprised (idk the exact quote)" and i like julia. it has nothing to do with being team conrad or team jeremiah. he's legit just a fucking dick.

he's a dick to belly obviously, but i'm specifically talking abt jeremiah here bc belly is an afterthought. he didn't wanna yell at her, he already did that. he wanted to make jeremiah feel worthless, and like he didn't deserve to be chosen. and he did. "jeremiah just too insecure, he can't believe belly chose him" BC CONRAD WAS MAKING HIM FEEL THAT WAY. "but... finch is fun" knowing that that's a huge insecurity for jere wasn't funny and it wasn't just petty. it was genuinely horrible for him to say. he wanted jeremiah to know that everyone else thought conrad was better, and conrad knows (thinks) he's better. he wants to remind jeremiah that belly loved the idea of amazing, smart, strong, emotional, mysterious conrad, and (even though this isn't true, it's jeremiah's insecurities bc of adam and susannah and the fact everyone fucking worships conrad) he's not amazing and smart and strong and emotional and mysterious. "i remember last year it was seven" bc he wants to tell jeremiah that he wasn't serious about those people so how can he be serious about belly. he wants him to think that belly doesn't want something serious with him bc she knows his history and knows he hasn't been in serious relationships before her. "who's the better kisser" (which, bffr you do not want the answer to that question conrad) bc he wants jeremiah to know that he's better than him. in all the ways that matter and don't, he wants him to know he's better and belly knows it too. and obviously those things aren't true. conrad doesn't even think these things. he's literally just a manipulative dick. like i don't think he's terrible or unredeemable, but he is manipulative. he always pulls out insecurities or stuff he knows will hurt the other person in fights. in this one it hurt bc jeremiah thought all of that was true and that conrad really thought that. in the party fight it hurt bc even though jeremiah knew it wasn't true, he knew conrad wanted to hurt him. someone that he has had to pick up the pieces after his entire life, someone he looks up to and most of all cares about, wants to hurt him. that's fucked.

anyway, lots of words to say fuck conrad for the car scene, it's so much deeper than some petty stuff. also, conrad is a shitty brother. i don't care. he is. the fisher family dynamic is that adam fucks it all up. susannah refuses to acknowledge that things are fucked up. conrad carries the burden of it being fucked up. jeremiah has to cheer everyone up, pick up the pieces when conrad drops them (which isn't his fault he shouldn't be carrying that burden but just bc it's not his fault doesn't mean it can't hurt jeremiah) and glue them back together, put on a happy face, and deal with everyone neglecting him. let's not pretend conrad has excuses jeremiah doesn't. "conrad had to carry this burden" and jeremiah had to do fucking everything else.

[pinkliminality]

Entering The Hub

Josephine was startled by the change in environment. This.... This didn't look anything like it did on the outside. Every light was on and all the stores were open. Li walked in, the only sound accompanying lim was lir footsteps and breathing. It was almost eerie.

Li was quick to find a map to this bizarre mall. The map seemed euclidean at first, but the more li stared at it, the stranger it got. There were at least four levels to this mall, and each level had certain stores in bold capitalization, while others were in italic lowercase. Except one.

The Basement.

Looking at the map, it seemed like it was a community center, with pools and various work out stations. However, most of the text on the map was incomprehensible. Almost like a child still learning to write was allowed to write the map. Except one part. A red X that reads, 'You are here!' on it.

Josephine tried to take a picture on lir phone, but the picture came out glitched every time. So, li pulled out lir sketch book and made a quick doodle of each layout. A page per level. Easily over 400 stores. It looked like there was a food court on the second floor, which would make figuring out the shops easier. But it should still be about 133 stores, per level. But this level li was on, only had 97 little stores, five big stores, the basement, and what looked like what was supposed to be a garden. It seemed very illogical to lir, but it wasn't like the store numbers would change while li explored. Right?

Lir also made note of the names in bold capitalization. Now li was stuck. There were so many options of this place to explore, so li figured li'd check out the stores whose names are in italics. Li put numbers at each of these store, and made a list off to the side.

Josephine decided to check out the basement first, so li would check out each store on lir way to the stairs. There was an elevator written on the map, but li hated elevators. Li always struggled with a phobia with them.

That meant li would hit five stores in the process.

Josephine kept the sketch book out as li walked to the first store. The windows were blacked out, making it impossible to guess the store at hand. So, li made the decision to just waltz on in.

It was a simple candy store, with white walls, dotted in a rainbow pattern. On the right wall, there were containers of various sweet goodies, while in the center, there were barrels of wrapped candies. On the left wall, were shelves of boxes up candies and specialty candies. There was the hum of a fridge on the top right of the store. There was even a counter, but no cash register. Turning lir head, Josephine noticed a freezer of different popsicles. Beside the freezer was one of those fillable powder sticks. Li quickly jotted down 'Candy Store' at the number one spot. Curiously, li took a piece of candy from one of the containers in the walls. It looked like a gummy frog, blue and green in color. Well, so far nothing food wise has made lim sick yet, so li ate it. It tasted..... Normal. Nothing out of the ordinary, just a gummy candy frog.

After taking another few of those gummies with lim, li walked over to the next store on lir stop. Just like the candy store, the windows were blacked out, making it impossible for Josephine to look inside it from the outside. So, li opened the door and walked in.

This one was... A clothing store? It looked like it marketed itself towards young adults and teenagers, judging by the posters on the walls. Weirdly enough, no one on the posters had a face. Josephine was a little creeped out by the posters, but figured they were harmless. The atmosphere was also off, with the store being darker than the candy store had been. It reminded lim of places like Hot Topic or Spencer's. The clothes looked like they were generated on the fly, many of them not really suited for any human, especially lir. Some of the pants were as big as lir forearm, while some of the shirts were doll sized. Did the store create these as li stepped in? Or were they being made after Josephine walked into the mall? There were illegible words on many of the shirts, and even a few characters that.... Definitely looked generated. Huh.... Maybe the mall can read my memories and is vaguely using those to create this? Josephine thought to limself.

Writing down what the store was, li made lir way out of it. It took a moment for lim to adjust back to the bright lights of the mall. Off to the next store then, li thought. Three more stores, and then Josephine would be at the entrance of the basement.

The next store was... Strange. Li opened the doors, not bothering to check through the windows, and it was empty. It looks like this one was closed recently... I wonder why? Li thought as li wandered the empty room. Josephine couldn't even guess the store, everything had been cleared out already. Li marked it down on lir map and left this store.

That one made lir wonder if many of these stores were in the same state. It would help lir with lir map. Next one was marked on lir map as store fifteen.

This store, unfortunately, was in the same state as store seven. However, this one had clearly been some form of a children's store, as there were a few childish items still on the shelves. Kid books, clothes, and toys, all filthy and dusty from being left behind. Something about it made Josephine sad, but li had more to explore, so li couldn't afford to be distracted now. Marking it on lir map, li moved to the last store before the basement.

This one made lim turn red as soon as it registered what the store was. The room was a deep red, with some off rooms being a pink color. The store had hearts everywhere, with roses and jasmines covering the floor. The speakers were playing slow, romantic music, though li couldn't recognize any of the songs. But that's not what caught lir attention. There was lingerie everywhere in the store. Josephine stepped in and looked at some of the lingerie, only to find all of them were the exact same size. Did that mean.... No. There was no way. Li grabbed a pair and ran to a changing room.

Surprisingly, it fit lim perfectly. How.... Li shook lir head. There was no point in thinking how, it had to be the Writer. Did they... Had they always known lir size? Josephine decided to keep it on, threw lir dress back on. Marking it down on lir map, li left the store, and headed towards the stairs to the basement.

As Josephine headed down the stairs, all li could think was, Surely it can't get weirder than this. I mean, what else could the Writer know about me?

Exiting The Hub