#it't just fucking perry x doofenshmirtz

[firefly-lemons]

"Bow before me or you shall bear the brunt of my wrath" He spits out, towering above me. I sigh, wipe some blood of my cheek and spit a jagged fragment of a tooth out, laying on the floor. Waiting.

"Did you hear me?" He screams, the words tear through my ears, wringing in my skull. I yawn a little.

Everyone told me you fight your hardest when you have nothing to lose. When the chips are down, Cards on the table. Unfortunately, I must have gambled away too much. I lost my job because I kept showing up late after waking up late because-He starts giving me a few experimental kicks, I squeeze my eyes shut, flinching a little (But ain't nobody going to interrupt my inner monologue) Anywho as I was saying. lost my job, house, boyfriend, friends, best friend, morals. Yeah, I really left it all out there. Revenge really does that to you. It started off all right, I found his lair. It's usually a pivotal moment in the superhero-nemisis relationship, him inviting me home and all (aww I'm blushing). He monologued, I started thwarting, there was some minions I had to deal with, the world was about to end. (I guess still is about to end?). Anywho it was a great fight-is a great fight-was a great fight. It's not over, but it's probably about to be. (I'm sort of braced for the inevitable blow that will swiftly end my rather miserable life right now, anyyyy second now)

I open my eyes a little squinting through blood drips. My eyes overexpose, taking a second to adjust and he seems... he seems.... surprisingly absent from the scene spread out before me?

There's the dead minions over there. I always feel so bad, but they all keep following him. (Maybe the pay is good, or the benefits? Maybe I should work for him "after" this-not that there will be an "after"). There's the living minions, looking just as confused. But notably not attacking me. I drag my mess of limbs and blood into something that at least resembled sitting up. The minions all looked startled. Notably only one of them drew their weapon before, one of the others shoved it down and shook their head. I don't know how long I sat in this strange stalemate. The hunters watching the wounded slowly bleed until I eventually died. (Hopefully soon)

-------------------------------------------- He fucking remembered. He brought it. Now I'm in a-with a-and him? (Sorry it was a lot for me too, lemme catch up a bit). He came back, scooped me up (Oh my gosh literally swooning. And yes I'm being sarcastic, near death experiences do that to you.) Anywho scooped me up and now. Now we're having tea, and not just any tea. He remembered. He remembered my favorite tea. I mentioned it once, A quick quip on battle. Now I'm talking my problems over, with my worst enemy (the guy that was going to kill me) with my favourite tea? This must be a dream, of a nightmare. Maybe a deathbed hallucination? I've heard sometimes those happen. (Unfortunately, I don't see any inverted lamps here). Anywaysz this is kind of nice, the cushions, the weighted blanket, the tea at the perfect temperature, having a person care about me, the cosy cushions. It was strange, but it was nice.

Turns out, he's been going through a bit of a rough patch too. I take another sip of delicious tea. Seeing me was apparently the highlight of his weeks. Apperently, sometimes the only reason he tried to take over the world was.... me?

When the villain demanded that you submit or be destroyed you just apathetically shrugged and braced yourself for death. You were surprised when the villain did not kill you and instead offered you a nice, comfortable room and an appointment with their personal therapist.