#it's weird when nuns are attractive

[diver5ion]

[inutaffy]

i hate these college campus vids on instagram sm like . okay. "whats your opinion on interracial couples" n then only talk ab black n white straight couples dating. like i am a product of an interracial couple, a straight black n white couple at that, and i love being mixed but yall weird like wtf man its 2023 wtf do u mean you should stay with your race like why it even matter if you like the person and bro i saw a whole acc for black men + white girl couples like what the fuck😭😭 and they was being racist to black girls in the comments . like thats straight fetishizing weird ouughhh. forever as a mixed person i always hear white boys/girls talk bout they want a daughter w blue eyes n curly hair like dont no one wanna hear that why you preordering a child like she prob wont even look like that gang😭 hopin for nun. foooreeevverrr i will hear the weird shit ppl say ab ppl having mixed babies n half of em dont put in any work to make their kids feel accepted , or learn how to do their hair , or learn ab their culture . like just expect them to know. its just an aesthetic thing. showing ur kid off like the damn circus. like its all fun n games til u gotta explain to ur kids that racism directly affects them. sure white ppl percentage in america going down bc of mixed kids wahooo but the ignorance is not. anyway mixed kids forever n ever

[katakaluptastrophy]

Masterpost of TLT metas

This is mostly for my own reference, as tagging doesn't seem to guarantee something being findable on Tumblr...but if you like wildly overthinking lesbian necromancers in space, enjoy!

Overthinking the Fifth House:

What is a "Speaker to the Dead"?

Actually, Magnus Quinn isn't terrible at sword fighting

Imperial complicity: Abigail the First

Pyschopomp: Abigail Pent and Hecate

Did Teacher conspire with Cytherea to kill the Fifth?

What does the Fifth House actually do?

The Fourth and the Fifth can never just be family

Cytherea's political observations at the anniversary dinner

Abigail Pent's affect: ghosts and autism

Were the Fourth wards of the Fifth?

Abigail probably knew most of the scions as children

Magnus Quinn's very understandable anger

Fifth House necromancy is not neat and tidy

Are Abigail and Magnus an exception to the exploitative nature of cavaliership?

"Abigail Pent literally brought her husband and look where that got her" (the Fifth in TUG)

The Fifth's relationship dynamic

The Fifth's relationship is unconventional in a number of ways

The queer-coding of Abigail and Magnus' relationship

Abigail and Palamedes, and knowing in the River

Was Isaac the ward of the Fifth?

Did Magnus manage to draw his sword before Cytherea killed him? (and why he probably had to watch his wife die)

How did Abigail know she was murdered by a Lyctor?

Fifth House necromancy is straight out of the Odyssey

The politics of the anniversary dinner

Was Magnus born outside of the Dominicus system?

Overthinking John Gaius:

The one time John was happy was playing Jesus

Is Alecto's body made from John's?

Are there atheists in the Nine Houses?

Why isn't John's daughter a necromancer?

The horrors of love go both ways: why John could have asked Alecto 'what have you done to me?'

Why M- may have really hoped John was on drugs

What is it with guys called Jo(h)n and getting disintegrated? (John and Dr Manhattan)

John's conference call with his CIA handlers

Watching your friend turn into an eldritch horror

Why does G1deon look so weird? (Jod regrew him from an arm)

When is a friendship bracelet not a friendship bracelet?

Why did John have G1deon hunt Harrow? (with bonus update)

The 'indelible' sin of Lyctorhood and John's shoddy plagiarism of Catholicism

Are John Gaius and Abigail Pent so different?

What was Jod's plan at Canaan House?

John and Ianthe tread the Eightfold path

The Mithraeum is more than a joke about cows

When was John Gaius born? (And another)

John Gaius and the tragic Orestes

John and Jesus writing sins in the sand

John and Nona's echoing chapters

John's motivations

Overthinking the Nine Houses:

'No retainers, no attendants, no domestics'

Funerary customs and the violence of John's silence

Juno Zeta and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time

The horror of the River bubble

Every instance of 'is this how it happens' in HTN

Feudalism is still shitty even if you make it queer and sex positive

How do stele work?

Thought crime in the Nine Houses

The Houses have a population the size of Canada

What must it be like to fight the Houses?

You know what can't have been fun? Merv wing's megatruck on Varun day...

Augustine's very Catholic hobby (decorating skeletons)

Necromancers are not thin in a conventionally attractive way

Matching the Houses with the planets of the solar system

Why don't the Nine Houses have (consistent) vaccination or varifocals?

How would the Houses react to the deaths at Canaan House?

How does Wake understand her own name (languages over 10,000 years)

What pre-resurrection texts are known in the Houses?

Camilla and Palamedes very Platonic relationship

The horrors the Cohort found at Canaan House

Do the Houses understand the tech keeping them alive?

Overthinking House religion:

What do the Houses believe about death?

Was M's nun a Franciscan?

Cavaliership and arbitrary socio-religious structures

Ritual scarification

Sacraments and sacramentals

What did Silas think god wanted at Canaan House?

In defense of Silas

There's no such thing as a 'good' necro/cav relationship

Veiling and shaving in Ninth House cult practice

Tongue-in-cheek thoughts on Eighth and Sixth religion

A very long deep-dive on House belief and practice

Overthinking Harrowhark Nonagesimus:

'The meat of your meat...belonged to god' and 'that is how meat loves meat'

The horror of parental touch: Harrow, John Gaius, and Abigail Pent

Why is Harrow so obsessed with Abigail's hands?

Frontline Titties of the Fifth and transgressive necro/cav relationships

Harrow, Wake, and permeability of the soul in HTN

Bible studies for weird queer necromancers:

Epiphany: revealing god's child to the wider world

The Holy Innocents and the creche massacre

The Virgin Mary and Commander Wake

John Gaius and John the Baptist

Instantiating the Trinity and the Second Resurrection

What's the significance of Paul?

St Paul's theology of gender and sexuality and the House theology of cavaliership

Maundy Thursday: consuming another for eternal life

Harrow and the Harrowing of Hell

[oldsoul007]

Shadows of the Sacred

father charlie mayhewxdetective reader

Summary: what begins as a case for y/n takes a turn to something far more difficult for y/n to resist

disclaimer: I’m not catholic and no disrespect to the religion at all just been wanting to write about him and the show. This is just a work of fiction. (Loosely follows the plot) I jus write for fun so I’m not giving it my all, be nice ;) and enjoy

Warnings: making out, blasphemy?, forbidden love, sexual themes, not proofread

masterlist

There's an undeniable allure to a man who is off-limits.

The office was noisy with the recent murders going on. Some psychopath was killing people and putting them into religious meaning. We have no clue who could be doing something like this. Lois was currently talking to some nun that came in here. She has a very weird vibe from her considering she’s a nun. I think Lois thinks so too considering how she’s looking at her.

I feel like I’m going insane lately. Considering I haven’t been able to sleep after seeing those things. Even in my dreams I can’t escape them. You think no matter how many years you’ve been working like this you’d be used to these things by now. I sat at my desk, the hum of the precinct filling the air as i sifted through a mountain of paperwork. The phone rang incessantly, and the chatter of my colleagues created a constant background noise.

Just as I was about to take a sip of my now lukewarm coffee, my boss, Lois, burst into the room. "Y/n, I need you on this one," Lois said, urgency in her voice. “Im gonna need you to follow that nun and the priest she was talking about to see what you can get off her” she says pointing at the nun walking out of the building. “What, you thinking she has something to do with the murders?” “No, at least not alone but I just there’s something about her.”

So here I was walking into a chapel for Sunday mass. Sunlight seeping in through the stain glass. Church bells ringing in my ears. The smell of old wood. Somewhere I haven’t been since I was 16 years old. I sit in the back behind an elderly couple hoping to go unnoticed. I noticed the priest sitting in his chair tapping his hand along to the choir. He’s wearing these dark red boots along with his priest attire seeming very serious. He looked very young for a priest, and was very attractive.

The choir stops and a light beams down on him. He stood up and started speaking to the congregation. I watched as Nun Megan looked up at him amazed. I zoned out until it was over. I watch as everyone flows out of the chapel stopping to speak to the priest first of course. I stand up to leave when I see the nun running around the corner. I seem to zone out on her suspicious whereabouts when I hear someone clear their throat behind me. “Shit you scared me” I turn around and meet face to face with the priest. “Oh forgive me father I-“

“It’s quite alright we all have our vices” he smiles. “I noticed you while I was speaking, I’ve never seen you before what made you want to come to our church? The blog?” He asks eagerly. “Um…I don’t know what blog you’re talking about? But no, I’m catholic I’ve just been inactive for a while and thought I should reconnect with the church.” “Oh well welcome back, we’re glad to have you.” “Me too…I’m y/n” I say reaching out my hand. He puts my hand in between both of his hands holding it. “Father Charlie Mayhew.” He smiles.

I notice movement to the right of me seeing sister Megan watching us. I drop my hand from his and act like I don’t notice her. “Well I better get going I enjoyed your sermon” I say backing away from him after noticing how close I was standing to him. He looked over noticing sister Megan too. I decided to leave so I wouldn’t draw too much attention. “Nice boots” I say as I proceed to walk out of the chapel.

I feel someone run up next to me, looking over to see sister Megan. “So what made you decide to come to our church?” She asked curiously. “That seems to be the question of the day” I say blankly. “Well it’s just we don’t get many new people joining the church lately” she says trying to keep up with me. “I just decided to come back after a while” I say grabbing my door nob to my car. “Bye now” I pull out a cigarette and start to drive back to the station.

I’ve been to many masses but nothing seems out of the norm so I decided I should talk to the preist more. He’s so intriguing. It always felt like he was staring at me but I think it’s just me being paranoid. After the service I lingered a bit waiting for everyone to leave so it was just me and him, with me sitting and him up at the altar putting out the candles. Me seeming to go unnoticed by him I carefully stand up and walk over to him.

“Father Charlie?” He turns around noticing it’s me he softly smiles. “It’s nice seeing you again y/n” "well, I really enjoyed your sermon today," i began. "It gave me a lot to think about." "Thank you, y/n," he replied, genuinely pleased. "I'm glad it resonated with you."

I took a breath, feeling a bit nervous but determined. "I was wondering if you'd like to have lunch with me sometime. There's a diner nearby that I've heard great things about. It would be nice to get to know you better outside of the chapel."

Father Charlie's face lit up with a smile. "That sounds wonderful, y/n. I'd love to join you for lunch. How about tomorrow?" "Perfect," she said, relieved and happy. "I'll see you then."

The door jingled as it opened and I spot Father Charlie settled into the booth at the rundown diner, the aroma of fresh coffee and sizzling bacon wafting through the air.

"Good afternoon, y/n," he greeted warmly as I approached the table. "I hope you don't mind, I went ahead and ordered some coffee."

"Oh Not at all, Father Charlie," i replied with a smile, sliding into the seat across from him. "Coffee sounds perfect."

He seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me better, almost drawn to me. "So, y/n," he began, his eyes twinkling with curiosity, "tell me more about yourself. What do you do for a living?"

I hesitated for a moment, choosing my words carefully. "I work in public service," I said, which was true enough. "It's a challenging job, but I find it very rewarding."

Father Charlie nodded, listening to me. "That sounds like a noble profession. It's always heartening to meet people who are dedicated to helping others.” “You know the more I talk to you the more I feel like I’ve met you before” I muttered. “Well I get that a lot” he chuckled. “Wait no, you went to pine valley high, it’s funny you said you always wanted to be a doctor” “and you said you always wanted to be a detective” I shuttered as he says almost suspiciously. “I mean look where we ended up” I laugh trying to change the subject.

“I always admired you in high school” he says eating a fry. “Really? I mean I always tried to go unnoticed” “I have no idea what you’re talking about you seemed so confident” “I mean that’s what I showed everyone” “I understand.” He said seeming to sense my uneasiness.

“I was wondering if you knew anything about the murders happening around town.” Father Charlie eagerly changing the subject. "…it’s been so unsettling lately," I said, trying to seem confused. "These strange murders have everyone on edge. It's hard to believe something like this could happen in our small town."

Father Charlie nodded, his expression serious. "I know. The community is shaken. People are scared, and it's understandable. The randomness of the attacks makes it even more terrifying."

I took a sip of my coffee, my mind racing with thoughts of the recent events. "this... it's different. There's no clear pattern, no obvious motive. It's like the killer is playing a twisted game."

I leaned in slightly, lowering my voice. "Do you think there's anything we can do to help find the killer? Maybe there's something we've overlooked."

He pondered my question, unaware of my true role in the investigation. "We can pray for guidance and protection, and we can keep our eyes and ears open. Sometimes the smallest details can make the biggest difference."

I felt a pang of guilt for not being able to confide in him fully, but i knew my cover was crucial to solving the case. "You're right, Father.“

Father Charlie placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "You should read the blog, Sister Megan has an interesting way of talking about the whole case" Father Charlie leaned forward, his eyes filled with passion. “You seem to know a lot about these events.” “What can I say I like true crime.” I joke.

As our lunch arrived, we delved into deeper topics, sharing stories and perspectives. An unspoken connection seemed to grow between each other. We found themselves sharing more than just professional interests; we talked about our hopes, our fears, and our dreams. The more we shared, the more we realized how much they had in common.

“Well I have to go now but I’d love to talk to you more. So I was wondering if you’d come by the monastery later tonight?” Father Charlie asked. “Uh is that allowed Father?” “I say so, I’ll see you later then” he said as he left money for food and walked out the diner.

I arrived at the chapel later that day as the sun began to set. I walk in and it’s completely silent. I walk around the corner to find steps trying to find Father Charlie.

“In here y/n” I heard him shout. "You know I really admire the work you do here, Father Charlie," i said. "It's inspiring to see someone so dedicated to their faith and their community." "Thank you, y/n. Your dedication to public service is equally admirable. It's rare to meet someone with such a strong sense of duty and compassion."

As I reach what I’m assuming is his room. The door in opened ajar so I gently knock trying not to push the door. “Come in.” I head him say. I push open the door to see him leaning against the wall in only a towel. “Oh sorry is this a bad time I can come back later” I try not to look down. “no, please stay. Would you mind closing the door?” He bops his head. I push the door closed with my back against it trying to resist getting close for him. His hair was wet which made him even more attractive, he was so toned and large.

“So um why’d you want me to meet you, here?” “Maybe I just like seeing your angelic face” he smiles, creeping toward me. "Y/n," he began, his voice tinged with regret, "I feel a connection between us, and I know that you feel it too, But I also know that there are boundaries we must respect. My commitment to the church and to my faith is something I hold dear." I nodded, "I understand, Father Charlie. I feel the same way. It's just... difficult to ignore what we feel."

We stood in silence for a moment, the weight of our unspoken emotions hanging in the air. Finally, Father Charlie spoke again, his voice gentle but firm. "Perhaps, I’ve been wanting a change in the church for a while, I mean it’s a new world”

“Father Charlie I- “Charlie please” he cut me off. I nodded. “Would you mind drying my back” he says reaching out a towel to me. I walk slowly toward him, taking the towel. He kneels on this wooden step stool thing and I proceed to walk over so I’ll be behind him. I hesitate and notice his back full of scratches and stitches. “Fa-Charlie?” I say as I gently start swiping the towel on his back. “Yes y/n” “what happen to your back?” I feel his shudder as I ran my finger gently over one scar.

He slowly stands up so we’re face to face with him towering over me. “We all have our vices” he says in a whisper, grabbing my chin with his hand gently. His eye piercing through mine. I could almost hear my heartbeat against his. “I should go” he grips my arm as I try and walk toward the door. I grab his bicep gently like he’s gripping my arm. “This isn’t right Charlie” “I know but if it’s wrong why does it feel so good” he mutters as he backs me up against the wall. His lips lingering over mine, his bare chest against mine, his breath against mine. He runs his lips done my neck leaving open mouths kisses along my collar bone.

I grab his face to look back up at me. “Fuck it” he says under his breath. He grabs my face kissing me harshly. I could tell he hasn’t kiss someone in a long time. I could feel his tongue against mine and running over my teeth. “oh y/n, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this to you.” He said in between kissing me. I let out a soft moan against his mouth, and that sound seemed to do it. He grabs me and lays me down on the bed.

He starts kissing me going lower down my body. Hot open mouth kisses. He pushes my skirt up kissing my upper thighs slowly. Sending shivers down my spine. I brush my fingers through his hair throwing my head back at the feeling.

And then I came back to reality. I push his shoulders to keep distance from him. “Wait, stop we can’t.” I say pushing my skirt back down. “Why?” He says brushing my calf. “Why? Charlie you have no idea how badly I want to but you’re…you’re a priest you took a vow. It’s a sin” “you’re not a sin”

…..

a/n: part || coming soon…

[sugasiren]

☆ Astro Observations Pt 2 ☆

**NOTE: This blog contains Mature Content.

💜 Scorpio Suns can "fake" smile A LOT - especially the women. They'll have big ass Cheshire Cat grins on their faces when trying to convince others that they care when they DO NOT. Shit looks mad weird! 🤣 Scorpionic Energy is meant to be dark, enticing & magnetic. So just embrace it!

💜 Scorpio Venus Women can be reserved Nuns or wild Wh0res! Lol. They can go hard in either direction. Either way though, they *hate* to be objectified and crave connection. Scorpio Venus Men are simply seductive AF. 🔥 Like dayummm! They're usually a highly sexual yet very choosy bunch. They can go years (by choice) without sex like a Monk. Many will "hold back" and repress their craving for an all-consuming love. Then suddenly FLOOD with emotions (and semen lol) for that special somebody - ready to devour your pu$$y & envelop your soul! 😎 These men are possessive & not for the faint of heart.

💜 Individuals with Mars in the 3rd House are MAJOR Sapiosexuals. Deep conversations turn them on!! Intellect gives these women many tingles and usually arouses *both* heads on the men. 🔥 3rd House rules short-distance travel... so these people may enjoy car sex, sex outdoors or sex while on a weekend getaway. Also, the women can correlate how a man drives/parks with how he fucks. 🤣 And you know what? It actually makes sense! A man who sucks at parking is probably a shitty lay. Lol. A man who handles large trucks with ease will probably dominate you.

*fans self*

💜 Libra Risings often look like walking works of ART from the Romantic Era. 💕 Paint these pretty bitches in ALL of their Venusian glory! Just sit them next to an elegant fireplace wearing *nothing* but a silk robe and a smile for Titanic vibesss. Often, the Men look like Sculpted Gods (like The Rock & Idris Elba) or Pretty Boys - like Leo DiCaprio & Harry Styles. And the Women are typically very lovely & voluptuous - like Beyonce, Doja Cat & Kate Winslet. Even when Libra Risings are average in appearance, they come across as pleasant & attractive to others.

💜 Men with strong Capricorn and/or Leo in their charts (especially Mars, Moon or ASC) give hella Big Dick Energy. 💪💪 Take me from the back, Zaddy! And they often make for being the best Providers for their families. *King Aura*

💜 Women with strong Taurus and/or Scorpio in their charts give Big Clit Energy. 🔥 Women with heavy Leo or Capricorn definitely possess Queen Energy. 🥂 Ladies with strong Aries give BOTH! The Queens w/ the Juicy Clit. ♈

💜 Aries Suns are indeed the PIONEERS of the Zodiac in every sense of the word. They blaze trails everywhere they go. 🔥🔥 Aretha Franklin was The Queen Of Soul; Marlon Brando & Bette Davis were the King & Queen of Old Hollywood; Celine Dion & Mariah Carey created the female Vocal Trinity that dominated the 90's music scene; Steven Tyler taught us how to boldly "Dream On" and Marvin Gaye asked us "What's Going On?" and inspired us to think! Selena was the FIRST woman to became a megastar in Tejano Music; Loretta Lynn broke major ground for women in Country Music; Martin Lawrence made us laugh until we peed our pants; Lady GaGa is in a glorious class all by HERSELF. 💯 Van Gogh created timeless Art; Phoebe & Simone have inspired the masses to bring back real romance as the lead actresses on the smash show 'Bridgerton'; Halle Bailey is amazingly talented & is going to be the best damn ARIEL this world has ever seen. 🧜🏾‍♀️

You need a ground-breaker? You need courage & inspiration? You need to see the IDGAF spirit in action? Go find an Aries and they'll get the damn job DONE. ♈

That's all for now Darlings! 💕 Catch you again soon.

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 5, Match 2

propaganda below the cut! (wall of text warning)

Selena:

"truly probably one of the most beautiful women to have ever walked this earth. voice of an angel, dazzling smile, looks like she smells good"

"if u don't vote selena ur mexicanphobic /j"

Brian Molko:

"Gender"

"IM GOING TO EAT HER. He is soooo beautiful and freakish and small and weird and girlfriend and tiny like a little princess bug fairy. Literally gorgeous she has to win"

"When he flipped over the table with the little limp wrist.... someone find the video"

"1998 woman of the year"

"Brian Molko is peak gender envy, gender bending and being yourself without caring about other people's opinion, on top of all that he is a great guitarist that writes amazing songs"

"Brian’s gonna win this. I think we all kinda know that."

"Tumblrinas would be nothing without Brian molko"

"Kills her kills her kills her kills her kills her kills him kills her. He's my everything <3"

"He came 10th in the list of hottest women sometimes in the 90s. Gender goals."

"No one in the world can sound so nasal and look so angelic....."

"don't you wish you had his gender"

"Single-handedly took my gender by the scruff of the neck and threw it in a washing machine at full speed. He talked about not expecting to "get away with" passing as a woman to the degree that he did when he started purposely presenting feminine. He talked about the importance to fuck with people's heads through his appearance and behaviour, the importance of ambiguity. About how being in the band allowed him to do stuff he couldn't have done otherwise, to exaggerate some of his traits. He had the fuck ass bob makeup nail polish dresses stuff down, but not in an overly sophisticated way, especially in the early career 90s days the vibe was more shabby punk rock chick. Also he fantasized about being in an all-girl band called Skirt and playing guitar and singing backing vocals in drag. According to a 1997 melody maker interview bandmate steve hewitt called him "the most confused woman he's ever known". And if you go down that rabbit hole there's just more of this. Lots of material to focus on if you like genderweird bisexual unclean libertines (song ref) who will just say Anything in interviews. It's fun."

"I've drawn him as saints and martyrs such as saint sebastian and joan of arc. Or all bloody lying in a wet alley after being thrown out of a club. Or unconscious on a snowy road. Or dying in a glue trap. Or shocked after seeing a dead body. Also as a nun and as rose mcgowan in the doom generation. This is because I'm normal."

"She's a sick little angel faced freak. My theythem girlboy queen. He reminds me of an ant. He's like 5 foot 4 or something. My goth girl boyfriend. <3"

[uluthrek]

lannicest is such a top tier ship though because they are the absolute originators of weird incest. no one does circular family trees quite like these two weirdos. all other incest ships are like “oh god, we shouldn’t do this, i can’t, oh god, you’re my brother!” and then they slip up and feel horrible about it or they don’t even know they’re related and find out later and are subsequently completely horrified and that’s all fine and dandy, to each their own, but you just gotta respect how nonchalant cersaime are about the inbreeding they’ve got going on. like yes, i’ll call you brother during sex and i’m gonna waterboard a nun while telling her how good it feels to have your genetically familiar dick inside of me. the fact that we’re twins makes it even better. we’re so fucked up that it’s rubbing off on pur younger brother who wants to fuck both of us. when you’re not around i’ll make do and sleep with our cousin because i can’t handle dick that isn’t at least on the adjacent branch of the family tree. you ask the woman you’re attracted to if she’s a lannister during one of your less unromantic interactions and while she interprets it as an insult, we both know what you mean. we’re what would have happened to the ashford twins if capcom had walked the mile and committed to making code veronica even more uncomfortable. they’re absolutely fucking unmatched in just how weird they are. no one does it like them. absolute hats off to grrm for committing to making them capital h horrible. i’d kill for both of them.

[fairypowerful]

Before I begin, I just wanna throw these out:

• “ ‘Missing out on love’ isn't something that matters as much when your society isn't amatonormative.”

• “When the world around you doesn't emphasize marriage and romance and all that, then wouldn't you view cultures that do as a tad odd? Not weird in a bad way, just different.”

• “[…] People cannot fathom the concept that other people might experience romantic attraction, and do so intensely, and yet value something else above romance.”

• You just don’t have those feelings of “I need romance, I need marriage” when your society isn’t broken by being amatonormativity. You just don’t have those feelings when you’re already fulfilled in a community. You just don’t have those feelings when you have a purpose in life.

• “Call me crazy, but I know for a fact that I would not want a romantic relationship if I was a Jedi […] […] […] I honestly don't understand the assumption that ‘the Jedi are miserable because they can't get married,’ I really don't.”

• There’s romance and marriage in every single media and literature, so why should it be inserted into a fictional monastic culture? If you don’t think entire groups of people could choose to have no romantic commitments their entire life, then there’s over a thousand-year nonfictional accounts of monks and nuns and priests choosing to live a single life in an environment that, too, forbids them from romantic commitments, and they lived in contentment and peace.

————————————————

I wanted to show all that first, like a little preview, because this post is not only about why the Jedi are not wrong for disallowing romantic commitments and marriage, but it’s also about amatonormativity which has always been an enormous problem in the real world, and it clearly impacts how people view communities like the Jedi within fiction.

———

“So why can't Jedi marry? The Jedi believe that children and spouses deserve complete attention. They believe that people deserve present parents and involved partners. Being a Jedi isn't a job. It's a lifestyle. How dare they preach compassion and fairness and justice whilst leaving some abandoned child somewhere? How dare they teach kindness and love and self sacrifice while having a neglected spouse?” — @popupguidetothegalaxy (original post here)

This right here! It wouldn’t stop the criticisms within that part of the fandom, it’d just redirect it to a different one.

Even if the Jedi did marry and have families, y’all (Jedi antis) would then criticize the Jedi for prioritizing the galaxy (which is literally their vocation, their aspiration, and their lifestyle) over their spouses and children.

On top of their daily galactic duties that « take them away from the temple on assignments or missions, away from the planet that temple is located on, and always on the move interstellar-wise » ,,, antis think the Jedi should/could be able to marry and raise a family properly with zero neglect of either spouse and child?

Forget about being burnt out like a nurse in a severely understaffed hospital, it’s just simply an impossible commitment!

———

I watched “Tiger Cruise” rather recently, because it’s one of those Disney movies I never watched growing up, and one conversation in the movie puts this into even more perspective – because the teenaged main character is sick & tired of always only seeing her Navy commander father for a few weeks every few months, begging him to quit the Navy and come home for good.

Maddie: Dad, when are you coming home?

Commander Dolan: What do you mean? We're gonna be docking on Friday.

Maddie: No, I mean… When are you coming home for good?

Commander Dolan: Is that why you came on board? To ask me that? [pause] Look, this is my job.

Maddie: Then get a new one. You've got the degrees, you can do like anything you want.

Commander Dolan: This is what I do.

Maddie: [pause] Must be nice .. travel all over the world, no responsibilities.

Commander Dolan: I'm responsible to a lot of people.

Maddie: To strangers, Dad. What about us? [pause] We’re strangers too. We move all over the place, see you for a few weeks every four or five months, or whenever the Navy says it's okay.

Commander Dolan: The Navy is a way of life. I mean, you go into it and you know the sacrifices you have to make.

Maddie: Well, you’ve done it for my entire life.

Seriously, is this what Jedi antis want? It’s misery, and not necessarily on the parent’s part — he’s HAPPY and LOVES his job. He has the degrees to do anything he wants, as Maddie pointed out, but he doesn’t leave the Navy. It’s the same with the Jedi, as they have the best education and biggest library in the galaxies. And yet…

(some Jedi-Critical) and Anti-Jedi fans think the Jedi are miserable and why the Order is “wrong” for disallowing it [which is just projecting their subjective view of “what a fulfilling life is supposed to look like” onto a monastic people who value and find fulfillment in something other than romance], but it would actually be miserable if they did have families.

Pushing aside the fact that the Jedi are a monastic (and not only martial) organization, there’s a legit reason for disallowing marriage and committed relationships. It’s not fun and games. You can’t combine two enormous commitments and think you can handle it without neglecting the other. There’s no such thing as a part-time Jedi, it’s not a job title!

Jedi are able to leave the Order peacefully, they aren’t forced to stay, but on this specific topic, you just don’t have those feelings of « I need romance, I need marriage » when your society isn’t broken by being amatonormativity. You just don’t have those feelings when you’re already fulfilled in a community. You just don’t have those feelings when you have a purpose in life.

How dare they be happy and fulfilled by being Jedi? How dare they show their commitment to the Order by making the active and daily choice to be Jedi, when they could leave any time? How dare they stick their middle finger up at the no-romance/no-marriage rule? How dare the Jedi not conform to the “education → graduation → relationship → engagement → wedding → 2 kids and a dog” trajectory that only an amatonormative society expects of you? How dare the Jedi be monastic and live like it too?

———

(Words belong to @phoenixyfriend)

• “ ‘Missing out on love’ isn't something that matters as much when your society isn't amatonormative”

• “When your culture is one that emphasizes compassion for all [...] Don't you think that people might just not think of marriage as something worth striving for?”

• “When the world around you doesn't emphasize marriage and romance and all that, then wouldn't you view cultures that do as a tad odd? Not weird in a bad way, just different.”

I just keep thinking about the real world and how so much of the obsession with marriage and so on is a sociocultural thing. You don't want a big white dress because it's a big white dress: you want it because it is the symbol that your culture has been pushing on you since you were two. Girls are taught to fantasize about weddings and marriage and to like A Certain Look for it, sometimes to such a degree that they can spend decades in denial about things like their sexualities.

And we're unlearning that as a society, people are being more critical of the institution and how they engage with it, are starting to question what it is that our media teaches us, asking 'why is marriage the most important thing in a girl's life, or in anyone's life' and generally moving towards a world where marriage exists but is not treated as a universal life goal.

But the Jedi are just. Already doing that.”

• “Marriage is not an inherent human/sapient want. Companionship is! We are biologically wired to be social creatures! […] But marriage? A signed sheet of paper? That's not...inherent. Fidelity and monamory? Sure, maybe. Plenty of species mate for life. But... humans have been proving that's a choice for most of history.”

— (original post, here)

Even without the galactic scale of their lifestyle and duties, is it really so hard to understand or believe that people wouldn’t be miserable in a society where romance is not considered an important thing at all?

If you don’t think entire groups of people could choose to have no romantic commitments their entire life, then there’s over a thousand-years history of monks and nuns choosing to live a single life in an environment that, too, forbids them from romantic commitments, and they lived in contentment and peace.

They’re not only connected to other Jedi through the Force, they are connected to the rest of the universe through the Force; they find joy in their selflessness, in helping people, in trying their best to do good in a universe permeated with corruption. They love being a Jedi, there’s nothing a romantic relationship can give them that’s as fulfilling as being Jedi.

Just…stop projecting your amatonormative misery onto the Jedi.

———

If millions of people around the world in real-life can choose not to ever get married and have children (without even being a part of a close-knit community like the Jedi), despite being bombarded with amatonormativity in media and literature almost everyday, then what’s so weird about a fictional group (who are literally warrior-monks and whom have all of their companionship needs met within their non-amatonormative community) choosing to be single in favor of a higher calling and lifestyle that’s far more valuable and fulfilling than having a romantic relationship?

———

(Words belong to @jedi-enthusiast)

• “Call me crazy, but I know for a fact that I would not want a romantic relationship if I was a Jedi.

If I lived somewhere where I was a part of a community of people that I considered my mentors, my friends, my family; if I lived somewhere where I was encouraged to learn, to travel, to help people, to enjoy life as it is, and better myself; if I lived somewhere where I was supported and loved and cared for by the community, and I did the supporting, the loving, the caring for other people in the community as well; if I lived somewhere where it wasn't constantly implied, or sometimes outright stated, that my worth was tied to me marrying a man, popping out children, and making money...

...if I was a Jedi, I can honestly say that the thought of pursuing a romantic relationship probably wouldn't cross my mind at all---not unless I met someone specific whom I felt that sort of connection with, but even then, I probably wouldn't give up being a Jedi to be with them because I'd feel more fulfilled as a Jedi than I would in a romantic relationship.

I honestly don't understand the assumption that the Jedi are miserable because they can't get married, I really don't.

If you feel like you wouldn't be able to be fulfilled without a romantic partner, then that's fine! Everyone's different! We all have different wants and needs! But just accept that you wouldn't be fulfilled without a romantic relationship and stop acting like it's impossible for anyone else to feel differently.

The Jedi all seem perfectly happy as they are.”

— (original post, here)

I also wanna add, because I don’t know where to put this statement … there’s romance and marriage in every single media and literature, so why should it be inserted into a fictional monastic culture? They’re not only warriors, they’re monks too.

It’s a rhetorical question…but I think either they’re so marriage-obsessed that they hadn’t thought of this. Or they are consciously aware of the over-saturation of romance within media when they talk about how the Jedi Order are wrong for disallowing romantic relationships, but they don’t care because they think higher callings are stupid and anything else is inferior to a romance/marriage.

———

(Words belong to @tookas-have-teeth) (original post here)

• “There is a difference between people saying that everyone feels romantic attraction and that it is necessary to being human [arophobia] and the comments a lot of people make about the Jedi.

Oftentimes, when I see complaints about the Jedi, it's because people are angry that people who DO feel romantic attraction might not choose to act on it, or might be part of an organization that requires its members to give up romantic relationships and marriage. People cannot fathom the concept that other people might experience romantic attraction, and do so intensely, and yet value something else above romance.

People consider this to be a cruel denial and repression of one's feelings, rather than seeing it as a choice people are making to prioritize things they value. People have SO bought into the idea that romance is the Ultimate Form of Love, that romance is necessary to live a fulfilled life, that they cannot imagine folks finding other forms of love more fulfilling, especially if those folks experience romantic attraction.”

—

[a comment within the post linked immediately above] “By claiming that people who experience romantic attraction *must* act on it or else they are oppressed, one is functionally insulting every priest, monk, nun, or any number of members of a religious order who choose, of their own free will, not to pursue romance in favor of a higher calling.” — @supersaiyanjedi14

———

There’s only two other fictional worlds that I can think of off the top of my head, that are non-amatonormative. Blissfully fulfilled and happy …

… Equestria (My Little Pony) and Pixie Hollow (Disney Fairies).

After learning the word, I could now put a name to why these two worlds are my top favorites: It’s a non-amatonormative society where everyone’s happy with just a community and a purpose in their life, where romance is 100% not an important factor.

“But in Pixie Hollow, there’s no reproduction, so of course there wouldn’t be any relationships.”

There’s still love and attraction.

Rosetta gets a crush on Sled in Secret of the Wings, Queen Clarion and Lord Milori reveal they fell in love in the distant past. And Terrence has a crush on TinkerBell (although that might just be the printed media, ‘cause I don’t remember it being obvious in the movies).

Is it really so hard to understand or believe that in a society where romance is not considered an important thing at all, and people have (literal) power and a job that they love and a whole damn community for companionship, then those people wouldn’t be miserable?

So, again, stop projecting your allonormative and amatonormative misery onto the Jedi. ‘Cause that’s all it is: your projection.

It’s so sad that the real world can’t be like the aforementioned worlds. Our world makes it so hard for people; a majority don’t have jobs they love, or they don’t have time or money to pursue and grow their talents, and there’s no true community among us. It’s literally dystopian, and we only see it as “this is normal, it’s real life” because we don’t know any other way. But that’s quite a different topic, so…

—

I just wanted to add these, unrelated to Star Wars and fandoms, to point out how destructive it [amatonormativity and allonormativity] is in the real world. ‘Cause I do see tweets on my timeline, from time to time, where a user will be torn over not having a relationship at a certain age or their life not following the ‘right’ trajectory.

[posts by people outside of the Star Wars fandom]

— @uncanny-tranny (original post here)

• Amatonormativity has destroyed so many people's understanding and acceptance of themselves, and it's heartbreaking.

Yes, it is normal to be in your 20s, 30s, or older and not have lost your virginity, had a first kiss, or a partner. It is normal to say that you aren't ready for those things, too! It is normal if your life doesn't follow the "college graduate -> engagement -> buying a home -> 2.5 kids and a dog" trajectory that so many people have idealized.

So many people associate maturity with losing your virginity, or having a first kiss, or a serious relationship, and I think that's a dangerous association. Maturity isn't gained through those things, and you don't have to have those experiences to be considered "mature" or "grown." It is not a bad thing to go at your pace. Nobody else can live your life but you. If you end up having those experiences, that's great! But it should be done because you want to experience them, not because you feel "broken" and "immature" without them.

— @/acegirleatscake on Twitter

• Allonormativity and amatonormativity normalizes ableism: the “you must be cold, sick, delusional” or “there’s something wrong with you” if you don’t have sexual or romantic attractions or don’t want those types of relationships. Being single is seen as “being unwell.”

@/0p4l3sc3nt for this one (below)

• […] single people are constantly questioned about the legitimacy of our happiness […] In an Amatonormative society, our romantic relationships will always have ulterior motives (often subconscious) – which arise from us being conditioned to see romantic relationships as the means to achieve personhood, happiness, and TRUE purpose.

———

Sincerely, everyone in the Anti-Jedi circle needs to go outside, touch grass, and reflect on it.

If our society wasn’t amatonormative (if there was no such thing as our idealization of romance and marriage, if romantic relationships weren’t seen as the most important thing at all in our society), then nobody would have an issue with the Jedi Order disallowing it — for many legit reasons, might I again remind you! Their reasons make so much sense, yet your amatonormativity floods in and turns your brain into worms.

• “Fiction doesn't necessarily map onto people's real life opinions, but the statements people make about this topic are often very broad "the Jedi are bad for forbidding marriage, because people NEED romance" type statements that definitely sound like they're general worldviews rather than just opinions on fictional characters.” — @tookas-have-teeth (again)

This post was left in my drafts from a month ago (early August 2023), but seeing the topic come up again just made me kinda snap; and I don’t want to just scream into the void, so I’m posting it.

And I don’t care how repetitive some of it is, because that was very intentional. They’re like little reminders, so you don’t miss the point and might actually reflect on it.

HAVE A GOOD DAY!

[sillyyprinc3ss]

Million Dollar Man

leon kennedyid! (or or di) x femreader!

tag: sugar daddy! -but he doesn't pays cause he sucks- call sex! praising! also I would say feeling used...?and I think that would be it...

wc: 4.2k

note: uhm this is my first ever try so like if it's bad don't go after me... also he is kinda a douche bag and the situation is something that actually happened to me... -not all but i got inspiration from my life events cause it is that interesting, it sucks -

03:14

“Great…” You mutter to yourself as you see the blinding red lights of your alarm clock. It shines as if it was making fun out of you. You should really pull your shit together.

You look at it slowly calculating (you weren't quite a genius) how much time you had left to go on that stupid job interview. “You should really get a job, it's not that hard.” Everybody says, but they don't really get it. Yes, you want to get a job, and everytime anyone asks you about it it just makes you want to crawl your skin off. But of course you just flash a soft smile and say: “I've been working on it.” Bullshit. But who cares? You don't and no one should either.

You breathe softly trying to fall asleep. Inhale…Exhale…Inhale… “This doesn't work.” You try some more. Inhale…Exhale… You give up and roll around the bed to go and get your phone.

03:27.You see as you turn it on, once again the numbers just look like they are mocking you, who wouldn't? You browse around your phone. Instagram, as soon as you click on it you are getting out. Twitter, aww cute cat pic, “Same bestie same” you comment under a post of a girl you don't really know but you are moots with her or whatever. Tumblr, the writer you like hasn't posted anything, you log out.

You sigh softly, as your rotting brain thinks of something entertaining to do. Right then you remember you and your supposedly best friend (she probably hates you, everyone does) logged into some sketchy local “Findmeasugardaddy.com” type of web.

You try to log in. Error, the password inserted does not match up with the email address provided.“What was the damn password…” You say talking to yourself as if it was going to help you in something. You try again, entering successfully this time. You try to figure out how to see your profile, you surprisingly do it in no time.

“sillyprinc3ss18” Wow. You think to yourself, you look at the profile picture, your friend convinced you to upload one of your selfies. “Girl, you should put one of your pics. Bet that would attract more old men.” To be fair, you were quite a cutie, not much tits but a desirable ass.

Sadly you fucked up any chance with any guy, when you opened your mouth. You were weird, creepy even, (no offense) as pretty as you were you couldn't really bag any guy. So you reluctantly accepted after she insisted on it for a little.

You decide that that's enough of examining your profile as you read your bio: “8teen girl who isn't scared of being a little naughty…” Gosh I suck, you think to yourself. “Gosh I suck.” You say out loud this time, trying to express your feelings I guess.

You click on another page, “Hm… IM’s.” You say clicking on it, slightly nervous cause you really didn't know what to expect. Well unfortunately or by surprise… 0.

“0…? I thought desperate older men were here.” You say quite hurt by it. Not even a desperate old cranky man wants you? That's pathetic, but guess what's pathetic too? Exactly, you! You are pathetic really.

As you start to have an inner monologue as if you'll ever die a virgin or you should become a nun and embrace your fate, a red dot comes up in the IM section. You look at it for at least 5 seconds, blink a few times, just making sure this wasn't an hallucination from lack of sleep. Ok, so there's probably a mildly ugly old man who wants to chat with you. You balance your options and sort them out. Option 1, you open the IM and answer the guy who could be your father. Option 2, you ignore the IM, turn off your phone and be a responsible adult and sleep to not be a zombie on your job interview. Option 3, jerk off at the thought of an older man wanting to chat with you. (Hey I don't blame you! You have a terrible dad.)

You consider your options. “Hey maybe he's cute” you think to yourself, to be honest you always had a thing for men who could barely pull a hard on. You click on the red dot. “L3onK77 wants to text you. Accept the request?”

“Yes” “No”

You stare at the two options, slightly grateful at the double questioning the page is putting you through. You take a big breath and click on “Yes”

“- Hi there sweetheart. How are you?”

Wow, “sweetheart”... You would confront him on the pet name but you know better and to be fair an old guy calling you sweetheart makes you a little a horny… More than you would like to admit.

“- uhm… hi. i'm fine a little bored tbh.”

Not more than 10 seconds pass before a text pops up on your phone screen.

“- What a pity. Maybe I could entertain you a little, what do you say angel?”

“Angel” Wow. Just wow, you dirty little whore, your panties are getting wet just by the thought of it. You stare at the message for some time, enough time to make the older man type another text.

“- Guess that was pretty straightforward, sorry if I came out that strong. Let me just take it to the point and give you a preposition.”

Some seconds pass and he sends another message.

“- Since you are on this website I'll make it straight and easy. Would you be interested in becoming a sugar baby? Mine to be exact.”

Wow, thought maybe he was going to ask for nudes but he wants to pay you for just being pretty.

“- i don't know really… why would you want to do that in the first place?”

“- Cause I think you are damn cute. And would love to have a pretty little thing under my care.”

You are blushing. Oh my god, he is smooth. Should be named L3onK007, cause he is smooth as a spy.

“- i don't know :s what would I have to do in order to become your sugar baby…”

Tried to not seem so eager, but you were 2 seconds from becoming a gymnastics gold medal athlete from how many backflips you were about to do.

“- Glad you ask. Well it's really easy, you just have to give me your attention and loyalty. Can you do that for me angel?”

“- sure, seems like a good deal.”

You answer almost instantly, gosh you were such a whore for male attention, for any attention really.

“- Good girl. I'm Leon, but you shall call me Daddy. How would you like me to call you?"

“Leon…” You say out loud as soon as you see it on your screen. That's a nice name. “Is it moanable?” You ask yourself, will have to check later if an opportunity takes place.

“- uhm my name is [ ]… but you can just call me princess ig.”

“- Nice to meet you [ ]. And how old are you if you let me ask?”

“- just turned 18 like a month ago… what about you?”

You kind of panic when he doesn't answer right away. “Gosh I should have lied about my age… He probably thinks I'm a brat and a- Oh! He answered back!”

“- 18? Well you are just a baby aren't ya’ ? Happy late birthday then sweetheart. And answering your question, I just turned 47 some days ago. On the 31 to be more exact.”

Forty-fucking-seven. Forty seven years. Four. Seven. Holy shit, if you are lucky he’ll still have some hair on his scalp.

“- oh… happy late birthday too ig! could i ask you something tho?”

“- Sure thing sweetheart, ask till your little heart's content.”

“- could i see what you look like? im really curious…”

You type nervously, could never give love to an ugly man. You could be dumb, but not stupid.

“ - Well I guess you haven't seen my profile, cause I have my photo on there.”

Shit, now he thinks you are stupid too. You quickly go to his profile, close your eyes as you wait for his profile to load up. You stay some seconds with your eyes closed, you give up and tentatively open one of them. And holy heavens! The guy is a total babe, could be an American sweetheart and everything. You look at the profile pic, a photo of him with a fish he just catched. Total dad vibe. Gosh you hit the jackpot! Rich, hot, dilf. (Could be a Lana Del Rey song really) You look at it for about a minute more, his message pops up. Okay girl, you got to lock in.

“ - you are very good looking :3”

“ - Well thank you. But you are quite a sight for sore eyes darling ;).”

Holy shit! You have it in the bag girl. Now all you have to do is sit still and be pretty. “Don't fuck it up!” You think, and oh boy, if you fumble this up you could never forgive yourself, might as well kill yourself!

“- and… how are we going to this…? i mean this website is kind of shitty :/”

“- Yeah you are right princess. Here.”

“- (XXX)XXX-XXX.

“- That's my number, add me and we will talk about it.

Yeah if you fumble this you are definitely going to kill yourself. You quickly open your messages app and insert the number he just gave you with trembling thumbs. You triple check the number just in case. You add the contact as “Leon Sugar”.

“ - hii ^w^ it's me [ ]”

After no more than two seconds he answers. He is maybe eager for this too.

“- Hi baby. Wanna call?”

Right then your world just froze. Holy fucking shit. This guy is really being serious, and you can't do anything to prevent an unhealthy attachment that is taking place right fucking now.

“- uhh, hold on…"

“- Okay baby, just tell me when.”

Not just a minute passes when you text back.

“- okay im ready!”

Just as you hit send he calls you, you panic, a stab to the heart could have got a lower squeal out of you. You pick up after a few tones.

“Hi…?”

He immediately speaks, holy fuck his voice! Cult leader type of voice, deep and smooth like the purest silk from god knows where…You remain silent for some seconds.

“You there?”

“Sweetheart?”

You almost moan to the sound of his voice. Gosh, pull it together.

“Sorry… I just panicked for a while.” You say in a soft voice. You thank the heavens above that he can't see your face right now.

“Well aren't ya’ a sweet little thing?” He lets out a deep and rich chuckle, striking directly to your heart, and from your heart to your cunt. “Do I make ya’ nervous…? Is that why?” He says in a teasing voice.

“A little…” You admit with a slight crack on your voice.

“And why is that?” He asks right back, his voice somehow lowering at least an octave.

“I-I don't know… Cause I've never done anything like this at all…” You answer, thinking before you speak for once in your life, impressive.

“How can a pretty girl like ya’ never be pampered huh…? Next thing ya’ goin’ to say is that you never kissed anyone.” He speaks in the same tone as earlier. It was making you melt, transforming your brain into a mushy pink paste with glitter (cause let's face it, you certainly do not have many brain cells.)

“Uhm…” Damn he got you, bet he thinks you are a weirdo.

“...” A long silence stumbles upon the call. “You kiddin’?” He says after a few seconds.

“No… Daddy.” You say making a big pause before you call him like he asked to be called some minutes earlier, “Gosh it feels so weird…” You think to yourself.

“Well isn't that lovely? He says with a lighthearted chuckle. “So that makes ya’ a virgin too huh…?” He teases you again.

“...” Your silence says it all.

“Well sweetheart, let me tell ya’ that you shouldn't be embarrassed of it.” He says as he could sense your emotions through the call.

“But it's still embarrassing… You probably think that I'm a weirdo. No guy ever calls me back after a first date, they think I'm weird.” You say with a deep sadness in your voice.

“Well maybe ya’ are so weird cause ya’ just the peak of beauty, darling. Let me tell ya’, I wouldn't even care if you shot me I'll still be interested in ya’,.” Gosh he sounds like a Dad. Bet you aren't the only one calling him daddy.

You stay silent for a moment, his words sinking into the back of your brain. Maybe he was right.

“Hey, I have an idea.” He says as you think about what he had just said. “What about if we do a video call…? Maybe we can both loosen up.” He asks, his voice turning into a teasing flirty tone, leaving back the lighthearted voice he just spoke with.

Yeah no shit. This is really doing a 180° on your life. Your mind tries to run with all the possibilities you can think of, like one and a half to be exact.

“Uhm… Okay. Just wait a minute…” You say with a little bit of panic in your voice. “Gotta tidy my room a little…”

“Sure honey. Just tell me when ‘kay…?” He says with a voice that could make even a dentist have cavities.

You quickly incorporate yourself and look at the clock on your nightstand. “4:02” You say just loud enough for you to hear it. You run to the bathroom and inspect yourself in the mirror. “I can't put on makeup… Who could believe I look like that at 4 A.M…”. You slip your panties down and sit on the toilet, you look at the cute pair of panties as you take a quick piss. “I should wear a push-up bra… He won't notice…”. You quickly pace to your bed once again.

“Leo-” You stop yourself ashamed. “I mean… Daddy.” You say as you try to get him to give you his attention.

“Ya’ done baby…?” He says in a silky voice, somehow making him sound even hotter.

“Uhm… Yeah…” You say quickly putting on a push-up bra and a clean skimpy tank top. The ruffling of the clothes being heard by him.

“Ya’ undressin’ for me or somethin’ baby…?” He teases with a chuckle as low as a thunder.

“Uh- N-no…” You answer immediately with a soft yelp. “I was just changing into something more comfortable…"

Right then your phone begins to ring again. “Leon Sugar wants to video call you. Accept?” You see on your phone along with a bright green button. You bite your lip nervously and finally push the button for the video call to pull through. You quickly turn off your camera as you wait for it to connect.

After some seconds you see him. A little bit rougher than the photo but still good enough to eat. He moves his phone sideways so you could see him better. Wearing a dark blue rob that did nothing to cover his chest really, he had more tits than you, ouch. “Sweetheart?” He says placing his phone somewhere so it could stand on his own. “I can't see ya’ baby…” He says furrowing his brows as he looks closer to the screen of his phone.

You look around making sure there's nothing embarrassing to be ashamed of, no panties or plushies on the camera frame, alright.

“Uhm… Just a second my wifi is kind of bad…” You say as you look last time in a mirror that was in your room. You hesitantly look at the camera button, you click it and a small loading bubble appears, the camera is now on.

A soft whistle can be heard from the other side of the line. “Wow…” He says in a soft voice, a smirk plastered on his chiseled face. “Now I'm really curious about ya’…” He says looking unashamedly at the small part of cleavage you were kindly showing just for him. “Ya’ said ya’ changed for me… huh?” He's starting to sound like a frat boy now…

While he was talking you were more focused on how you looked on the camera. “Uhm.. Yeah.” You say shyly batting unconsciously your lashes. “My pajamas weren't a great option, y’know…?” You realize how your voice becomes more high-pitched, candied almost. You realize you are smiling foolishly in the camera, you stop and lock in. “So about the money-”

“Oh yeah the money…” He looks like he just discovered the cure for cancer. “How much would ya’ want your allowance to be…?” Is he really saying this? Might as well bankrupt him just by being pretty.

“Oh…” You say with your pretty lips forming a perfect circle. “Well I don't know really…” You say with a surprised look plastered on your face. “How much would you be willing to give me…?”

“How much do ya’ want? Name it, and I'll give you… until my last penny angel.” He says with a smug grin on his face.

“Uhm… Is 500 a lot…?” You ask, biting your lip nervously. “I really don't know… I'm sure I'm asking too much for just company and loyalty-”

“Ya’ got it, 500 weekly.” He says with a cheeky smile, almost endearing if it wasn't because you just met the guy and he's literally paying for your company.

“...500…1000…1500…” You count in your airy head. “Uhm isn't that quite a lot for a month…? That's more than the average check…”

“Well princesses need a lot of money to survive don't they…? To buy frilly dresses and pretty panties-”

“That's still too much money… Daddy…” Calling that it's still so unnatural, like giving a monkey mom a kitten to care for. “I meant like per month or so…” You say to him while looking elsewhere than the phone camera.

“Don't be silly, princess…” He says giving a soft sigh to the world. “Like I said- I want to take care of ya’, provide for ya’… To pamper ya” really. Treat ya’ like the princess ya’ are!” Whilst he was saying a monologue typical of a 40’s husband when his wife wanted to have a job, you were way too busy looking at his tits-

Oh my god… He may have double D’s. “Baby…?” He says snapping you out of your titty world.

“Uh… Yeah…?” You say blinking the nasty thoughts away, you doe eyes looking even more dolly than before. “Sorry I got distracted- So it will be 2 grand a month…?” You say trying to change the topic.

“That's right. Gonna spoil ya’ rotten darlin’.” He answers with a triumphant smile.

“But that's like, a ton of money… Like a TON.” You say with a soft frown looking at the total babe, *uhum*, handsome man that was on your screen.

“Daddy works for giving his little girl what she needs baby, to pamper her and spoil her, I've already said that honey.” He says growing rather irritated by your constant questioning.

“Yes I know it's just- I can't really conceive the idea of being paid just cause I'm pretty… It's like cheating! I feel like an imposter…” Doe eyes batting through the camera making his heart stop, then the tension went to his brain and then to his cock. Oopsies!

“Princess…” He says in a soft voice, almost like he was telling her daughter there wasn't any monster under her bed. “I know this is new…” Suddenly he stops talking, presumably thinking about something, soon after he speaks again. “Well maybe ya’ can do somethin’ for me…”

Your lost gaze that wandered around your room like you've never seen it before comes back to the screen quickly. “Yeah…?” You ask rather skeptical of what he was about to propose.

“When was the last time ya’ touched your princess bits, sweetheart…?” He says without mincing words. “Uhm…” You freeze, ok didn't think he would ask that wow… You wait a little before answering his bold question. “I-I don't really remember it…” You are such a liar! You were literally humping your pillow before deciding it was time to go to sleep. You quickly look at the right corner of your phone, 4:29. “You know it's kind of late and tomorrow I have a job interview…”

“Oh it won't be long princess… I just want to guide ya’…” He coos lovingly at her with a mellow voice. “I want ya’, to touch for me darling… Let me talk ya’ through it m’kay…?” As much embarrassing this seems to you, you can't help but want to please him. “What do ya’ say angel…?” You just nod frantically as you slide your panties down. He sees you shift in your position. “Show Daddy your panties darlin’, show to the camera how cute they are, hmm…?”

As soon as you had slided them off your dripping cunnie you show them to him, light blue with a bow at the front, cute, but what caught his attention was the visible wet patch it had formed. He whistles softly. “Ya’ got wet even without doing dirty talk baby…Your kitty is so good darling… I can smell it from here.” He says with a charming frat jock smile, you could bet your soul he was one in his teen years, but anyways. “Now use your pretty fingers and circle your nub, you know where that is hmm..?” He asks you as he was asking a dog if he was a good boy. You nod softly. “I knew you would, my smart girl…” He says while slowly palming himself through the thin fabric of his pajama trousers. You start letting out soft whimpers, catching his attention every time while he was trying to focus on himself. “Can ya’ show daddy your princess parts darlin’...?” You stop your motion looking directly into your phone camera. “Ya’ didn't like that huh…” He says with a sour chuckle. “Well don't worry darlin’, ya’ don't have to show me anything ya’ aren't comfortable with, ok princess…?” You just nod shyly and kept moving your fingers.

“Fit one of them in, c’mon baby…” He says with now, his cock out, but out of view from the camera of course, he's a gentleman after all! As he sees your face contorting -your puffy lips in a soft pout and your brows furrowed while you looked shyly at him through the device- he begins to pump his length up and down, just like he knows he likes. Your soft whimpers feeding his ego, therefore making his blood pump more and more to his brain below the waist. He just closes his eyes for a moment, the next second he opens them he is cumming non-stop to your airy moans and mewls. Guess he isn't the stallion he used to be in his twenties, gosh even thirties…

He looks at the time 4:52. He grunts softly, cleaning his hand on the side of the rob he was wearing. “Baby…” He says in a husky voice, making you stop, just when you were about to reach the peak! “Y-yes Daddy…?” You say slowing down your finger pumping. “I-I gotta go sweetie… It's late and I have a big money meeting tomorrow… okay?” You completely stop, was he literally telling you to fuck off cause he already cummed…? No, but you are overreacting in your mind, feeling so used and not even getting a reward out of it. But you just softly smile and say “It's alright, I understand it…” You say with a fake soft voice. “I knew you would understand it sweetheart…” He says with a pleased smile. “I'll text you tomorrow m’kay…? Love you, bye.” He quickly says and hangs up, not even giving you a chance to object about it, maybe that's why he did it that way.

Anyways now it's almost 5 am, and you have to wake up like… in an hour maybe…? Got to dress cute, cause “firsts impressions last”, not too prudy but also not showing your bra, you decide to get your shit together and walk to the bathroom to wash your face, you change into something more formal, a tube skirt and white crisp shirt, a short heels and you are on the go. How come with even extra time you are running late…? You take the bus, yeah, people stare at you, yeah, deal with it. You finally arrive at your destination after several bus stops, a corporation building, they say they were looking for a secretary… Who knows it could be like the movie and you start having a BDSM relationship with your boss and-

“Miss, Mr.Kennedy will see you now…” The assistant says from behind her desk, giving you a soft smile,you analyze her, she is truly an american beauty, high standard chick from uptown for sure. After her fake smile disappears you walk to the door of your probably next boss office. You knock on it twice, a husky rumble saying “Come in…” traveling through the sound waves. You slowly open the door, greeted by the back of Mr.Kennedy as he looked through the windows the city at his feet, he slowly turns around, his eyes slightly opening up further as he realizes who he is, she frowns softly, her mouth opening, ready to speak.

“Oh darlin’ thought I told you I was going to be the one to reach out to you didn't I…?”

[your-nanas-house]

Stories I will write:

Chris Decker X fem!Reader series

Tom Riddle X follower!Reader: Secret mission part 2 (I have to think about it) (requested)

Ominous Gaunt X Reader, Sebastian Sallow X Reader: The Beginning part 2, Ominous and Sebastian talk about what happened.  (requested)

Joe Goldberg X Henry’s babysitter!Reader: Henry’s babysitter part 2 (have to think of a plot) (requested)

James Walker X Reader: short smut fic with 7 words (requested)

Jerome Valeska X fem Reader: they meet in the circus before he killed Lila (fluff and hits of his insanity) (requested)

Jerome Valeska X Reader: they play games together like catch, Jeremiah plays with them but he’s stubborn but he wants to play. (requested)

Jeremiah Valeska X gn!Reader: AU where Jeremiah doesn’t inhale the laughing gas (requested)

Valeska Twins X Reader: headcanon with cuddles and affection (requested)

Jerome Valeska X fem!Reader: smut during a day at the local swimming pool or at the river (requested)

Jerome Valeska X Rapunzel!Reader: Y/n is manipulated by her mom, hidden and exploited. It’s a darker version of Rapunzel where Jerome revisits and addresses his trauma through the reader. (requested)

Jerome Valeska X ftm!Reader: (headcanon) (requested)

Joe Goldberg X fem!Reader: he kidnaps the reader and does the whole glass box, she isn’t afraid and chills. (requested)

Duke!Jerome Valeska X Reader: Arranged marriage part 2 (have to think about a plot) (requested)

Sebastian Sallow X fem!Reader: During a muggle’s game part 2 (have to think about a plot) (requested)

Cameron Monaghan X Reader: short smut story with 200 words (requested)

Dick Grayson X Reader: (short imagine) Dick complains about Batman and a two words come out of his mouth that Y/n takes too serious 

Tom Riddle X muggle wife!Reader: Two Death Eaters go to their dark lord’s new residence which is in the muggle world, both meeting Mrs Riddle for the first time.

Hocrux!Tom Riddle X Witch!Reader: The young witch Y/n finds an elegant destroyed diary in her hands and has the task of fixing it.

Professor!Joe Goldberg X student!Reader: Joe tries to not fall back in his habits, he thinks that now with the new job and the new city things will change, but will it really be like this?

Joe Goldberg X Reader: Joe finds himself thinking about things while his gaze is on his new colleague who was taking care of Henry at that moment.

Pharaoh!Jerome Valeska X servant!Reader: Jerome sets his eyes on a young woman who he discovers is one of his servants.

Dark!Jeremiah Valeska X Gn!Reader: Jeremiah comes out of his bunker after several years in hiding and meets Y/n, from there the obsession starts.

Anthony Bridgerton X Maid!Reader: Anthony trying to catch his maid’s attention in any way.

Joe Goldberg X Reader: Y/n finds herself in Joe’s cage.

Bruce Wayne X model!Reader: After the first night spent at Wayne Manor Y/n meets the true Bruce.

Joe Goldberg (Jonathan Moore) X gallery owner!Reader: What is art? Art can be seen subjectively by everyone, therefore also by Joe.

Tom Riddle X Witch!Reader: they always meet in that place.

Jeremiah Valeska X nun Bruce’s sister!Reader: he meets Miss Wayne for the first time and has a strong need to corrupt her.

A few Sebastian X Reader’s stories and Ominis X Reader’s stories that I still have to translate. 

Elvis Presley X Milf!Reader: smut with virgin Elvis and experienced Reader (collab)

Elvis Presley X Reader: they meet at a nightclub.

Tom Riddle X fem!Reader: Tom and Reader have feelings for each other, they meet a few years later when he is slowly becoming Lord Voldemort and she finds out that she is a muggleborn. Tom is still attracted to her though even if he hates muggleborns. (requested)

Tom Riddle X Death Eater’s wife!Reader: Tom Riddle is jealous, he always was since he was still a kid and he always managed to get what he wanted, and now he wants to have for himself his follower’s wife.

Tom Riddle X artist!Reader: Tom Riddle randomly meets a weird woman who happens to be a young painter. She manages to catch his interest and he is ready to commit a portrait of himself to be able to see her more often and know more about her. Sadly after the portrait was finished everything ended because he disappeared to become “Lord Voldemort” starting that way a war after a few months

James Walker X Reader: Y/n Y/l/n and her boyfriend decide to go live in a new house together. This house happens to be Amytiville, a scary house where bad things happened, this didn’t stop the young couple though. After just a few weeks things get weird, the relationship between Y/n and her boyfriend gets worse and in the evening things get scary. James shows himself, after falling for the young girl, to scare and try to kill the boyfriend who leaves her alone in that house.

Chris Decker X Reader: Chris Decker meets Y/n on a random night in a random supermarket and they find themselves together all the night.

Jerome Valeska X Reader: Jerome Valeska starting to dance with his s/o during the morning, no words exchanged just glances and heavy stares while they body moves slowly following perfectly the music, creating such a lovely domestic scene.

Chris Decker X black widow!Reader: Chris finds out that his innocent Y/n had a bloody past full of sadness, angst and death connected to different weddings.

Colin Bridgerton X Anthony Bridgerton's wife!Reader: Colin returns at home after one of his travels and meets for the first time the Viscountess Bridgerton (Anthony's wife) and he can't help but be fascinated by her in many ways.

Anakin Skywalker X bartender!Reader: Anakin is focused on his mission with Obi-Wan but while waiting for his master to come back, trying his best to not intervene he catches the attention of a beautiful bartender that will help him distract himself for all the night.

Anthony Bridgerton & Sister!Reader: The time has come for Y/n Bridgerton too, she is attending her first ball and is ready to find a husband but her brother won't leave her alone making this mission almost impossible. She will though meet a young man that will "bewitch" her.

Elvis Presley X Reader: Y/n just watched a concert of the famous Elvis Presley and can't help but start to imagine about him while trying to sleep on her bed, finding herself with her hand down her shorts with her gaze on the poster of the King of Rock and Roll. Is he really the devil like her mama keeps telling her? Is she commiting a sin?

Anthony Bridgerton X Reader: Anthony is searching for a wife, while focusing on the diamond of the season he discovers many secret things about the young lady. Will he grow to love them or hate them? (Y/n is a quite, lover book and dogs lady).

Anthony Bridgerton X opera singer!Reader: Anthony meets the new prima donna of town and is as bewitched by her voice and her beauty. Will things get a dirty turn in their relationship?

Bruce Wayne X personal assistant!Reader: Y/n, Bruce Wayne's personal assistant, writes a book about her kinks and dirty thoughts but it goes in wrong hands. Will she lose her job after someone publishes her book not revealing yet the real writer or will she speak with her boss and fix things?

Anthony Bridgerton X Reader:(Modern AU) Anthony and Y/n meet during the Christmas Eve, in a hotel when the snow is thick and there is no possibilities to go somewhere else. Sadly or Luckily there is just one room left, a suit, and they have to share it.

Anthony Bridgerton X Reader:(Modern AU) Y/n participate at a charity event where she and some other girls are auctioned off. Many masked rich men come forward but only one will be able to "buy" a week together with Y/n, making them earn much more than the organizers had hoped. This secret millionaire is…Anthony Bridgerton (Could do it with Ominis Gaunt as well)

Sebastian Sallow X Reader: Sebastian and Y/n (MC) spend the day together, chatting and relaxing till evening. Something changes after the sun has set and the two follow their lust, right in a field of grass near Feldcroft.

???X fem!Reader: In a small church Y/n has flashbacks of her past, she remembers when she spent time with ??? and she regrets that she left, coming just now when someone told her that ??? was dead and buried there. (Rain while looking at the grave, Y/n is married) ((maybe Sebastian and Ominis))

Tom Riddle X Reader: Y/n wants revenge for her sister, since Tom hooked up with her once and ignored her after that breaking her heart, Y/n finds Tom years later, she manages to seduce him and hook up with him but when Tom things when to leave, she is a step ahead and puts her clothes on, when he asks where is she going she just says that he can have the room and throws a few galleons towards him before leaving. This makes Tom feel like a hooker and becomes strangely obsessed over Y/n.

Taglist:

@gabile18 , @mrsfullbuster500 , @rex-ray , @elizamalfoyy, @eovjjj , @monkeyking-and-liuer-mate , @jeremiah-va1eska , @gothamchic16, @rabbiteggz , @dieg0brandos-wife , @rottenecstasy , @lazyexcuse , @teh-vampire-bunny , @lobotomy-lover , @slasher-smasher , @sleepycreativewriter , @huntress-valkyrie , @lostmyremembrall , @bewitchedbymadness

[realthoughtsreal]

The isolation : an ace older sibling’s panik

I’ve said this before: aceness can be isolating and it is extremely confusing and disheartening at times.

I find myself in a weird position now, as an ace, older sibling.

My little brother is 13. He likes a girl. They’re apparently dating.

Literally.

WTF?! I mean, I thought it’d happen eventually when he was, like, 16 or something!

I mean he still doesn’t even know how to brush his teeth properly! Or cut his own nails or anything like that!

Isn’t he too young for a relationship?!?!

Is it just my aceness?!?!

Im absolutely freaking out. I’m the oldest! His ‘parents’ definitely will not give him the TALK properly, and he definitely won’t get it at his nun school. Shit. It falls to me as his older sibling to set that straight and make shit clear to him!

This is so fucking awkward and depressing. He’s 13, can’t brush his teeth and is dating. I’m 21, an ace that wants a relationship, and who no one (to my knowledge) has ever felt any attraction for in all my 21 years of life.

I.. I don’t even know how to feel. I think he’s too young, and it worries me, because I remember being a teen, feeling the pressure to date and shit, and I also remember half my classmates losing their v-card at 14. So. I think I have reasons to be worried. Specially with all his unresolved trauma and his inability to communicate his feelings healthily. Teen or not, I think he’s not in a place to date. Does he even like her or does he just think he likes her?

Am I just projecting??? I worry he’ll fall into societal pressures and make the same mistakes I did, like confusing friendship for romance and dating a friend…

I’m worried, also kinda having an existential crisis over the fact my brother is a teen and can(?)/is dating now, AND AND to top it off now I just feel like shit for being ace. Again. Lonely.

I can’t even see him as a teen. His mind and heart are still very childish. All his behaviors are still the one’s of a 10yo child. I’m just having trouble picturing him as a teen who can like girls now.

:( he’s growing up too fast. And I think a part of me fears he’ll eventually leave me behind too. He’ll get a stable girlfriend and marry and have the picket fence life. While I remain alone and isolated by the gap between our paths. I fear he’ll grow up and realize I’m different, and hate me for it. I see his older face in my mind, a confused frown twisting it. The dislike in his eyes as I try to explain that I just can’t feel like everyone else does. His dislike and confusion as he turns away from me.

I hate being ace.

[aloysiavirgata]

Scully comes out to Mulder as bisexual he responds by also coming out as bisexual

They’re kicked back in Adirondacks by the fire circle, the logs popping and sparking when the flames lick dried sap. The air is just crisp enough to make the heat cozy. Scully brought home cider donuts from the farm stand along her commute, which they wash down with a pitcher of sangria. A cinnamon-sugar crust coats her lips.

It’s been two minutes since he asked her and she hasn’t answered.

“So?” he prods, nudging her foot with his. “It’s been long enough all the sin’s gone out of it, Dana Katherine. Fess up, did you experiment some in college? I’ll absolve you if you did.”

He puts the lewdest possible edge on “experiment” so that she can’t in good faith make a quip about organic chemistry or the effects of acetylcholine on Rana pipiens.

Scully flops her head back against the heavy wooden chair; who cares at this point? The meanest nuns are dead. “Yeah,” she says. “I did.”

She turns to him for a reaction

His eyebrows are up, but he looks genuinely interested rather than smirking. “Oh? Do tell.”

She stares up at the rising column of smoke, tracks it to Polaris. Tracks it decades back. “This girl, Elizabeth. Roommate’s boyfriend’s sister. We…um. We all went out to a bar one night while she was visiting.”

Scully leans into the memory. Calgon and ski sweaters and Aqua Net. Layered bangs, Jordache jeans. Liz’s rum and Coke.

Liz’s hazel eyes, Liz’s blue mascara.

“Anyway. We all had a lot to drink and Claire - that was my roommate - Claire and Elizabeth’s brother were making out in his Cutlass Ciera.”

Liz’s mouth like a taut August plum, the taste of her frosted Revlon lips…

“There was this couch in the back of the bar, some coffee tables, you know the feeling. Anyway, Liz pulled me over. We’d been dancing some, Fleetwood Mac I think, and she kissed me. I was shocked, good Catholic girl that I was. But I was three shots in, and it was college, you know? We settled on the couch, kind of drunk I guess….”

She swallows hard, looks at Mulder. “Is this weird? It seems kind of weird.”

He shakes his head, eyes bright in the flames. “Go on.”

“We were kissing, mostly. She touched my breasts through my shirt, slipped her hands down my jeans but not my underwear. It was pretty innocent, I don’t know. I didn’t see her again after that but it definitely changed my perspective some. I began noticing if I found a woman attractive. Got at least a bit more comfortable with the idea, anyway. Stopped telling myself I just liked her hair or her outfit.”

She hears his breathing thicken. Just a little, but it’s there.

“And never after?” he asks.

Scully wonders what else he isn’t asking her. Wonders what it must be like to be young now. She shakes her head, takes a pull of sangria. Chews a chunk of macerated pineapple.

“No,” she says. “I came close a couple of times, but no.”

She wishes she had a cigarette or a joint. Something to do with her hands and her mouth even after so many years. And even after so many years she doesn’t tell him about what she thought of Esther Nairn, about whether she wanted to kill Diana or be Diana or fuck Diana.

They watch the fire for a time. Hear it crackle, gaze into a vast and endless sky. There are old gods there, older than hers. She knows that now. She embraces it.

“What about you?” Scully asks. “All those posh Eton boys at Oxford, surely one struck your fancy.”

She doesn’t really expect anything of it, but she asks to make him confirm or deny. To deflect. It’s how she’s been trained. And she’s endlessly intrigued by his formative years, her well-bred, prep-school lover. They’d practically invented sodomy, hadn’t they?

Mulder makes a soft, throaty noise. Grabs a donut and takes a huge bite.

She turns to him. “Oh my god,” she says. “Did you sleep with Alex Krycek?” Where had THAT come from?

He coughs donut crumbs everywhere. “Scully!”

She clamps on to it. “Did you?”

His turn for the sangria now, blushing. Blushing! Fox Mulder, did you really? she thinks, oddly turned on.

Mulder clears his throat. “He kissed me, but no. He kissed me twice, actually. But no, I didn’t…” he trails off, shaking his head.

“Did you like it?” she asks, her voice sex and sandpaper. Arousing herself further, Jesus.

“Yes,” he says. Holds her stare. Runs his tongue over the lips she’s kissed so many times. That Alex Krycek and Diana Fowley had kissed. The sting is gone, only the fascination left.

All the sin’s gone out of it, he’d said. Yes, it had. Over fifty, of course it had.

“But it wasn’t your first time.” A little breathless, that.

“No.” Licks his lips again. “You guessed right, Agent Scullly, brava. This guy, at uni…we. We didn’t sleep together, but we’d. You know. Touch.”

Agent Scully.

The father of her child looks unimaginably shy. “Ourselves. Each other.”

She knows about Phoebe, all the details. She knows about the cemetery and the gothic drama and the kind of sex that feels like a revelation instead of a mind game.

He knows about Daniel. She sees the child she was then, has long since forgiven the silly girl.

But this is different and, in her mind, sweet. Two boys, lonely, away from home. She hopes they were comforted. Happy.

“Did you…keep up with him?”

Mulder shakes his head, mouth a little swollen in the primal orange glow. “It only lasted a term before he graduated. Never spoke after that. Phoebe, you know. Other women.”

“Alex.”

He grins at her. “You have to admit he was awfully pretty, especially for a complete piece of shit.”

Scully laughs. “That he was.”

She reaches for his fingers in the dark.

In the light.

[honeyynymphh]

I had a thought for a fic and bc I love ur writing…

copia x mile high club

first of all, thank you so much!! mile high club certainly is not something I would have ever thought of but it did give me an idea so here it is! Inflight Meal Papa IV x FemReader rating: E words: 2600 tags: dom copia, cunnilingus, sex, fucking on the job, drinking on the job, dirty talk, cheesy af, there is no resemblence to canon like anywhere in this story lmao AO3

summary: as an air hostess you are used to strange people, especially when they have their own private jet. but this was definitely the strangest one.

also Copia still has his moustache because I said so! I know nothing about flying, this is pretty silly and it is not checked so sorry for any mistakes!

Straightening your skirt you stand waiting for the passengers to board the plane. Last minute you’d been called in to help on an overnight flight to Italy by Jack—the usual pilot you flew with. Apparently, some priest was travelling back to his hometown for an important ceremony and his crew were short a few staff members. You would have refused at such a late request, especially as you had to wear a completely different uniform. It wasn’t the airlines—apparently the priest had insisted all the crew fit in with the rest of his staff.

What an arrogant prick. 

But the money had been way above the norm and you rarely were asked to do private flights. And the uniform was not much different than your usual skirt and jacket. Except it was cerulean blue with little embroidered golden details—and a strange inverted crucifix emblazoned on the chest. You were just grateful it wasn’t a nun's habit.

You heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs to board and straightened your back, plastering on the practised smile. Many a jerk you’ve had to deal with and today would be no different—no matter how fancy an aircraft it was. You’d had a little snoop before. The whole aircraft was dark wood and detailed with the same shade of blue and gold. The jet was fitted with a main bedroom, kitchen, office and then the main seating area. God must be real generous, you think with a roll of your eyes.

The first person aboard is an older woman, her blonde hair styled to perfection and wearing a severe yet fitting suit jacket and skirt—all in black but detailed with the same hints of blue and gold as your uniform. She smiles at you and you gesture for her to enter, giving her a welcoming smile as you bid good evening. Next is a man…at least you think it’s a man. The smile on your face falters a moment before you right it again on your perfectly painted lips.

His dress is fine. He’s dressed all in black—though his jacket has the same little crucifix on it as yours—it’s the mask he wears that throws you. It’s silver, demonic and completely obscures his face.

Weird. But you were here to serve drinks and food, not care about the passengers and their odd choice of attire. The…man walks past you without a glance and settles into a chair before pulling out a rolled-up magazine from his trouser pocket.

You’re too busy still looking at him when a voice says, “Buonasera, Signorina.”

When you turn towards it, you’re met with a pair of mismatched eyes set in a face painted like a skull. But despite it, it’s still an attractive one and the man’s voice is pleasant—the Italian lilt to his words makes your smile genuine, if not a little bemused. He’s dressed in a dark blue suit, way too tightly fitting that it’s almost indecent.

He takes your hand, the soft leather that encases his hand is buttery soft and warm. He kisses your hand, moustache tickling your skin. He introduces himself as Papa Emeritus the Fourth before he gives you a smile and heads into the plane. You watch, bemused, as he greets the other two—the woman talking quickly and hovering around him like a mother hen. He waves her off with some words in Italian and disappears down to the back of the plane.

That cannot be a priest, you think. Maybe Jack got the information wrong. He looks too…you don’t even know. You rub at your hand. At least he didn’t seem like a complete asshole, nor had he started preaching—and really, that was all you cared about. You kept staring off down towards the back of the plane, mind still fixated on the mysterious man.

“You ready?” says Jack, ducking out of the cockpit.

“Huh?” you say distractedly, head snapping to look at the pilot. 

Another crew member has appeared, she’s wearing the same uniform as you and she’s standing there patiently waiting for you. You had only briefly spoken to her earlier, she had said her name was Sister Hayley you think. A nun. Not that the woman looked anything like a nun.

“Arm and crosscheck?” he says.

“Oh, yes, right.”

When miles above ground and flying somewhere over the Atlantic ocean you’re giving out drinks. The man in the silver mask declines anything, choosing instead to lounge on the plush seating like an overgrown cat while the woman—who had politely introduced herself as Sister Imperator—sat in one of the comfortable chairs at a small desk. You’d given her a drink—a gin and tonic—and then headed down to go find the enigmatic Papa Emeritus.

The office is empty and so you head to the bedroom, the door is closed and you knock politely before sliding it open. You find the man propped up on the bed, book in hand and a pair of glasses perched low on his long nose. He glances up at you and the darkly painted lips quirk into a pleased smile. It makes your stomach flip.

“Sir, would you like a drink?” you ask, standing there with your hands clasped in front of you. “Or something to eat?”

The man gives you a smile, easy and smug. Again you wonder why he was wearing such tight trousers. What the hell kind of church was he from?

“Si, wine, per favore. Anything from the stock in the kitchens. Pick something.” He gives you a long look. “Two glasses.”

“No problem, sir, anything to eat?” you ask. Fuck you wish he’d stop looking at you like that.

His painted lips quirk but he shakes his head. “Just bring the wine, signorina.”

You head to the little kitchen and randomly grab a bottle, simply picking one based on the label. You grab two glasses and then walk back towards the suite. You smile politely as you enter and place the glasses on the little table next to him.

“Is this to your liking, sir?” you ask, holding out the bottle for him to inspect. 

“Papa,” he says, leaning over to peer at the label before he nods. “Not ‘sir’.”

You pour him a glass and place the bottle beside it. “Is there anything else?”

He closes the book he is reading a throws it on the bed, you catch the cover—it’s in a different language but it has a picture of a goat and a pentagram on it. He waves a hand at the other glass.

“Pour yourself one as well, signorina.”

You frown at him. “That is kind of you, but I am working.”

The man winks at you, grabbing the bottle himself and pouring out a measured amount. You watch the liquid slosh in the glass.

“I promise I won’t tell,” he says, extending it out to you.

You take it and hold it awkwardly, the smile on your face fixed. You did not want to get in trouble with Jack and lose your job. But a glass couldn’t help and you’d attended to everyone. You sip it and Papa smiles.

Somehow you end up two glasses deep. It’s not enough to make you drunk but damn it’s enough to make you feel far too relaxed. And you’ve somehow found yourself sitting next to him on the bed. You really should go back though. But it’s been lovely chatting to him, he talks of his flock with affection and mentions Sister Imperator fondly.

“This might be a stupid question,” you ask, the wine having loosened your tongue, “but what exactly are you a priest of?”

He laughs and it’s such a pleasant sound that you can’t help but smile. You’ve grown used to his strange face and it’s somewhat endearing to watch the lines on his face move as he chuckles.

“Not a priest, dolce,” he says. “Once upon a time, si, but now I am Papa.”

“You say that like I should know what you mean,” you reply.

“Like the Pope.” He grins. “Less preaching about the good of man and much more sinning.”

You cannot help but laugh, it sounds ridiculous. “I thought god said sinning was bad.”

“We do not worship a false god of fabricated mercy,” he utters, voice low. You stop laughing at the serious expression on his face, but it melts away when he adds. “We worship the lord below who relishes in sin. We are human, si? So we should take comfort in the pleasures it provides.”

“You’re telling me you worship the devil?” you ask, breath hitching when he leans in a little closer.

“Si,” he says, eyes fixed on you. “And I fear I have not worshipped in his name today at all. Perhaps you can help me, dolce?”

Suddenly his mouth is on yours. You freeze a movement but when you respond, his hands hold your face and pull him flush against him. His mouth is urgent and hot against yours, tongue delving into your mouth while your legs tangle together. Your lipstick is smudged red over his face and you’re certain he’s covered yours in black—you can taste it on your own lips but it doesn’t matter. He kisses like he is worshipping, hungry and possessive. It makes your head spin and you completely forget that this is certainly a breach of conduct. Especially when he’s flipping you onto your back, dragging your legs to the edge of the bed as he pushes your skirt up to bunch around your waist/

“Sorry, dolce, but now I’m feeling rather hungry.”

You hear the snap of your garter belt and feel the tension ease around your stockings so he can pull your knickers down your legs. Before you can draw another breath his face is between your legs, his breath skating over your wet folds before his tongue is flicking against you. You moan, hands instantly grabbing tufts of his peppered hair between your fingers as he works some sort of ungodly magic on your aching cunt.

Fucking hell.

Your back arches as he draws the tension out, leaving you panting on the edge of delirium. His arms move under your thighs and pull you closer to him as he devours you. You pull at his hair and grind against his face, unable to stop yourself from seeking more glorious threads of pleasure to wind tighter around your core.

His mouth breaks away as he can come up for air. You stare at him with a heavy-lidded expression, taking in that wicked mouth all glistening and smeared with paint by your own slick. He looked like the fucking devil and you were more than willing to sell your soul if it meant he wouldn’t stop.

“Cazzo, your pussy is delicious, dolce,” he breathes, nipping at the inside of your thigh.

His face returns to press against your cunt. And that nose! It’s pressed against your clit, mouth wet and tongue searching while his moustache tickles your skin. You arch back and your hands grip the sheets as the plane suddenly rocks—turbulence. Fuck.

Jack’s voice floats through the plane’s intercom system, certainly a mood killer, but Papa doesn’t stop. 

“Please return to your seat, we are experiencing some mild turbulence.”

The craft rocks again but your eyes are too busy rolling into the back of your head as he eats you out like he’s on death row and you're his last meal.

You moan when you feel fingers, leather-clad ones, pressing into your pussy and stretching you. You bounce on his hand when you hit another pocket of turbulence, and his grip on your thigh tightens while the other hand is busy pumping into your wetness. Another pocket and another moan have you on the edge and trembling.

It doesn’t take much to have you rocking along with the aircraft as you come. You try not to moan too loudly and shove your fist in your mouth but Papa leans up and pulls your arm away from your face, that devilish visage hovering over you.

“Don’t silence such pretty sounds, dolce.”

You sigh, luxuriating in the waves that still ripple through you while the plane rocks again. Fuck. You feel his body move away from yours and you sigh. Your eyes had fallen closed as you relaxed but they snap open when you feel him crawl on top of you. He’s rid himself of some of his clothes—well, most of them. A heavily unbuttoned shirt was the only thing on him. You can see the hairs on his firm chest and when you feel his cock pressing between your legs you immediately spread them for him.

When he sinks into your welcoming pussy you moan. The stretch feels incredible and you desperately tilt your hips so he can sink in further. When he bottoms out, you both sigh. Papa has removed his gloves, and his large hands hold your hips, creasing the fabric of your uniform even further as he starts to pump into you.

You’re already so worked up and sensitive that you are already ready to come again quickly. Your walls are squeezing him and the sounds it draws from his lips are downright demonic. Your hands reach up to grip his shoulders so you can thrust up to meet him, both of your movements becoming hurried in your desperation for release.

“Do you want my cock so badly, signorina?” he growls, leaning over you and thrusting into you roughly. Your pant out a yes, or something that was meant to be a yes and only comes out as a string of incoherent nonsense as you nod your head fervently. “You have to come for me first, dolce.”

A hand moves between your bodies and he's rubbing at your swollen and sensitive clit. You cry out, not giving a single fuck that the entire plane can probably hear you. The plane rocks one last time and you hear the seatbelt sign turn off. But you are barely paying any attention to anything else except his cock buried inside you.

The tension in your core tightens again and with another deep thrust he has you coming apart for him. Your eyes shut as it crashes through you but he doesn’t stop. Your hands are gripping feebly at his shoulders, then the nape of his neck, his hair and then fistfuls of the front of his shirt to bring his mouth against yours.

You feel his cock swell within you as he growls against your mouth, teeth nipping at your bottom lips as his hips jerk. You feel him come, painting the inside of your cunt as he continues to thrust into you while his tongue does the same to your mouth. It’s desperate and you’re sweating in your uniform but you don’t care. It feels far too fucking good.

When the high finally eases and he rolls off you to lie beside you, you sigh in relief. Fuck that was something, you think.

“You call that worship?” you pant, turning your head lazily to look at him Your makeup and hair must be absolutely ruined because his is completely ruined. He looks deranged with his hair falling in his face and his paint all smeared.

He hums. “Si. My lord believes in the power of the female orgasm. Is there anything more divine than pleasure?”

You shake your head, mind still foggy with bliss. You utter the only words you can think of. 

“Did you still want your inflight meal?”

He grins at you. “Maybe in an hour or so, signorina. I just ate.”

[burningvelvet]

Thoughts on Charlotte Brontë's Villette so far (queerness and comparisons to Jane Eyre):

- This is my fifth Brontë novel and I'm about halfway through it so far (either thanks to or in spite of finals, Thanksgiving break, and my intermittent insanity).

- This is probably the weirdest Brontë novel I've read so far. "Weird" how? Well, in chapter 14 our expatriate narrator, whose identity is concealed from us, is locked in an attic with rats by her co-worker (and eventual lover) who is a French literary professor directing a theatrical production and forcing her to be the understudy in a leading romantic male role for which she has to practice her lines in this attic, which is also said to be haunted by a murdered nun who she later either sees or hallucinates while wandering around ill, not knowing which country she is in, and resisting Catholic conversion from a priest. And throughout the novel the identities of all the characters are hidden, and the narrator (Lucy Snowe) is extremely unreliable.

- I can say at this point that Villette has more queer subtext than any of the other Brontë novels I've read so far. In second place I would rank Jane Eyre, which is the first and only other Charlotte work I've read (aside from poems/letters). To the non-believers, I recommend 'He is rather peculiar, perhaps': Reading Mr Rochester's Coarseness Queerly by C. O'Callaghan and The Realm of Faeries: Queerness and Neurodivergence in Jane Eyre by Grace Patrick-West; with the expansive, theoretical sense of the term "queer" being a more broad term covering behavior that is not strictly sexual but could be coded for such. Rochester and Jane are both inherent outsiders in society, and for Rochester this is largely tied to sexual problems. He has several quotes on how societal notions of acceptable romance must be changed, and as an outed adulterer who openly admits to engaging in primarily international relationships and presents himself as an aging bachelor, he is already defying romantic conventions in multiple ways.

So Charlotte may have been the most-likely-to-be-LGBTQ+ Brontë of the bunch, although Emily was the known "tomboy" of the family, and though none of the others lived as long as she did and so did not have the opportunity to explore as many topics. From the little I've investigated, I believe there is a world of analysis already done on Charlotte's possible queerness, so I cease here.

- I've noticed some callbacks to Jane Eyre. It's mostly set in France and so there's a lot of French like in Eyre, but not so much that it's distracting imo. For fans of Adèle Varens (like me) you will be pleased to know that there is a comparably fashionable and overexcitable French girl who in terms of psychoanalytic criticism I argue could be thought of as a variant of Adèle within Charlotte's mind. Similarly, a male love interest is compared to Nebuchadnezzar like Mr. Rochester was, and this comparison is made when our narrator is expressing her attraction to the man in blatant terms, which gives us insight into the mind of Jane Eyre via further confirmation of Charlotte's association with Nebuchadnezzar/attraction. I mean, we all know Jane was attracted to Mr. Rochester, but Lucy's attraction is more realized because it is more matured, possibly on account of her being slightly older at that part of the novel than we see Jane when she relates Mr. Rochester to Nebuchadnezzar. Like Jane, Lucy is also a poor, unattractive governess. And Charlotte's classic "dear reader," is a thing once more!

- Charlotte 🤝 totally unrealistic and problematic age-gap romances which aren't consummated until some change in station makes it slightly more socially palatable

[orkbutch]

your nun au. i like it very much. if you don't mind, can you tell me more about it? like what is shadowheart's story? what is up with lae'zel? why is karlach so cute?

Absolutely, I am very eager to talk about it! This is gonna be long tho haha. tw for addiction and self-harm

Shadowheart grew up in a relatively normal, casually Catholic family, but shes always had shit going on. Clinically depressed, and she definitely has a personality disorder, probs BPD, defs not diagnosed because its the 90's and shes masking HEAVY. Even as a kid she was pretty into catholicism though, and liked Christ and his weird more-than-human self sacrificial vibes.

At 13 while in boarding school she got lured into a cult (where she was given her name). This was a mix of older girls and a few much older people outside the boarding school, all women. They were a political cult of feminist seperatists, but also had a layer of idiosyncratic spiritualism originating entirely from the cult leader Shar (real name Sharon). Edgy stuff about darkness, the night, pain and sacrifice being good. But in particular there was a focus on pursuing oblivion, and that resulted in Shadowheart doing some very destructive substances at a very young age, and learning how effective numbness was when coping with being a depressed teenager with BPD. She realised she was a lesbian while in this group, and that wasn't great because Shar was Not chill about that at all. These were radical second wave feminists that considered sex inherently reproductive of patriarchal power dynamics, and the cult was firmly asexual; lesbians were considered gender traitors and particularly looked down on. (Transgender people were not even acknowledged; truly old school r*dfems.) Her attraction to women is what made her question things most throughout her time there, but she was very young and impressionable; she wouldn't start to really firmly question things until she was 16.

She was, through all of this, a big fan of Christ; in fact some of the cult's ideology kinda deepend her concept of Christ and martyrdom, which she admired greatly. Self sacrifice was The Ultimate Virtue to her; a loving masochism, which really spoke to her (and her self-harming tendencies).

She escaped at 17 and didn't return home; she immediately became a novitiate within an Irish-Catholic cloister. This would have been in the early 80's. She dove head first into being a dedicated cloistered nun; it wasn't that different from her time in Shar's group except a lot more sober. When she took her vows and became a full fledged nun, she descended further into worship and over her 10 years there, she became more and more... Medieval with it.

This was a Problem, because this was the late 80's moving into the early 90's in the UK - not only was Vatican II well and truly instilled in the practices of all cloisters, but feminism had been kicking around for a while now and had only gotten more popular. Nuns being hidden away from the world, participating in shame circles and self flagellating was well and truly Over and were banned practices. But Shadowheart researched older methods of worship from deeply devoted cloistered nuns and dove in, because they felt meaningful, helped her cope and they made her feel special to Christ.

Something that had a big impact on her was her duties as a volunteer nun overlapping with the AIDS crisis. She found that she had to consistently fight her sisters and abbess to be allowed to assist people with HIV. This forced her to contend with her queerness, the morality of her relationship to other gay people. That prompted her to start exploring lesbianism and queer community secretly, which tempered her obsessive cloistered nun tendencies; she still self flagellated and prized self sacrifice, but her shame was being challenged, and she had felt how much she wanted diverse, queer community.

Her and Lae'zel started hooking up when she was 25; it started as moments of desperate desire for relief and comfort, but became a little more than that as time went on. (It fucked with Lae'zel A Lot.) Shadowheart was finally kicked out at 27 when not only was she caught with another nun (not Lae'zel), the extent of her self-harm was seen on her body. She became too much of a liability for the cloister. Very soon after that, Karlach appeared in her apartment.

I'll expand on Lae'zel in a reblog >:)

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 4 Match 4

propaganda below the cut! (massive wall of text warning)

Miki Berenyi:

"shes the most beautiful woman i have ever seen. her hair is amazing and she's just gorgeous idk what else to say or how to fathom her beauty"

"I met miki berenyi a few weeks ago and shes the coolest and nicest person I've ever met so down to earth and nice and lovely which imo makes her incredibly hot"

"Founding mother of Shoegaze"

"I want to hold miki so tenderly and tell her jokes that make her laugh like we’re childhood friends and have a sleepover where we do each others makeup and then fuck so nasty the neighbors get alarmed and debate with each other whether or not to call the cops"

Brian Molko:

"Gender"

"IM GOING TO EAT HER. He is soooo beautiful and freakish and small and weird and girlfriend and tiny like a little princess bug fairy. Literally gorgeous she has to win"

"When he flipped over the table with the little limp wrist.... someone find the video"

"1998 woman of the year"

"Brian Molko is peak gender envy, gender bending and being yourself without caring about other people's opinion, on top of all that he is a great guitarist that writes amazing songs"

"Brian’s gonna win this. I think we all kinda know that."

"Tumblrinas would be nothing without Brian molko"

"Kills her kills her kills her kills her kills her kills him kills her. He's my everything <3"

"He came 10th in the list of hottest women sometimes in the 90s. Gender goals."

"No one in the world can sound so nasal and look so angelic....."

"don't you wish you had his gender"

"Single-handedly took my gender by the scruff of the neck and threw it in a washing machine at full speed. He talked about not expecting to "get away with" passing as a woman to the degree that he did when he started purposely presenting feminine. He talked about the importance to fuck with people's heads through his appearance and behaviour, the importance of ambiguity. About how being in the band allowed him to do stuff he couldn't have done otherwise, to exaggerate some of his traits. He had the fuck ass bob makeup nail polish dresses stuff down, but not in an overly sophisticated way, especially in the early career 90s days the vibe was more shabby punk rock chick. Also he fantasized about being in an all-girl band called Skirt and playing guitar and singing backing vocals in drag. According to a 1997 melody maker interview bandmate steve hewitt called him "the most confused woman he's ever known". And if you go down that rabbit hole there's just more of this. Lots of material to focus on if you like genderweird bisexual unclean libertines (song ref) who will just say Anything in interviews. It's fun."

"I've drawn him as saints and martyrs such as saint sebastian and joan of arc. Or all bloody lying in a wet alley after being thrown out of a club. Or unconscious on a snowy road. Or dying in a glue trap. Or shocked after seeing a dead body. Also as a nun and as rose mcgowan in the doom generation. This is because I'm normal."

"She's a sick little angel faced freak. My theythem girlboy queen. He reminds me of an ant. He's like 5 foot 4 or something. My goth girl boyfriend. <3"