#it's unfortunately ingrained in me to be as polite and unobtrusive as possible | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-everqueen · 2 years

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morning after a breakdown is so weird. in this meeting for my part-time job, my boss is bragging about my co-worker getting a tenure-track position at the top institution in her field. i'm waiting to hear back from my advisor about whether or not i should drop out last minute. i have to send emails to potential caterers. i technically still only have a week to finish my dissertation.

#welcome to academia #the email i sent my advisor was ''should i drop out of this conference and more importantly should i drop out of school?''#''since i am not employable apparently''#which is worse...having a phd that discourages ppl from hiring you #or having a two year gap in your resume that will discourage ppl from hiring you #i have an insane desire to just. burn all bridges RIGHT NOW.#destroy SOMETHING so i feel in control of how badly i'm failing #i won't. i barely managed to write an honest email to my advisor where i articulated maybe i should cut my losses and leave.#it's unfortunately ingrained in me to be as polite and unobtrusive as possible #i can't do dramatic gestures that cause maximum damage #i'm like a cat that crawls away to some private hole to die

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