#it's truly fucked how little guidance we get just to turn a corner and realise everything truly is fine

[hella1975]

hey I have life advice to ask and if it's not cool then just go ahead and delete this-

I'm gonna be 17 soon and I was pulled out of school due to stuff I couldn't really control, so I dont really have a college/university to expect in about 2 years ish if I cant pull through out of my depression/anxiety and take the GED tests (american testing, its like a substitute for a highschool diploma, which is.... shit idk the differences to england but either way if I cant study and complete 4 giant tests, colleges/universities wont be available to me. I think.). I really could just move about anywhere I'm able to, and there's this place that I really, really love. I've done everything I can to know about it besides GOING there, because it is incredibly far away from my home. Really fucking far. It's been smth of an idea of mine I've held on to a year, like all the towns and places I dive into I just keep coming back to that spot. It feels like the one, like I can't really see myself growing old because of my depression but I can SEE it there, and I've never felt that.

The thing is I know from a few older mutuals of mine (and just other adults in gen) that things can change and while you might go to uni/college for [X Thing] you'll come out with something else you found so you'll now have [Y Thing]. like what you're expecting or want is going to change as you learn more or delve into it. I don't know how much I should take that to heart really? There's this fear that's been placed into me that I can't actually think for myself if I'm always going to be changing. I'm so confident about this rn but what about later? Sorry if this freaks you out too JFNSJMW like we're about 2-3 years apart but it just feels like so MUCH, I wanted your advice since you've got the uni experience I might miss out on

(My family is fine really like they're not going to kick me out or anything, they've just got other problems ig that I'd like to escape from because a lot of what they do has me just.. stuck with myself. It sucks being a teenager because I'm just in the middle of it all)

hi anonstie! sorry for the slow reply to this, i hope im not too late to any decision making. thank you so much for trusting me with this, it's a really scary situation for any teenager deciding on something that seems so defining, let alone with mental illness factors and possible family pressures. trust me I GET THAT. so everything i say is my opinion very tainted by my own bias and personal experiences, but you know that and asked me anyway so im gonna assume we're clear on that okay:

so as someone who not only has the uni experience but overall LOVES uni like could not have picked a better option i love my uni life i love my friends i love my independence so much that i stick doing a subject i HATE bc i love my life here so much - coming from someone in that position, you want to know what i think? if you're not sure about going to uni and genuinely think you'd be happier elsewhere, do not go. im being so serious. university is a challenge, and people know that, but you have to take what you think it's gonna be like and double how hard it really is. it's a fucking culture shock and a half and even those who settle in well (i like to think i did) still have trouble finding their feet, and it's fucking scary. you have to have a level of certainty to manage it. idk maybe im being too extreme here but ive seen so many people who regret uni and are the loneliest they've ever been, and if you already have mental illness weighing on you that's not a boat you want to be in even if you might not end up like that.

the option does not vanish just because you didn't do it at the 'correct' age. i can see ur stress around the exams and while i know fuck all about american education, i refuse to believe there's no ways around it or ways to redo at a later time, or even if you do just wind up with not very good qualifications, somewhere will take you. i was convinced that if i didnt get out of my hometwon at 18 with the natural progression in academia then i would be stuck there forever, and part of me still believes that no matter how silly it is, which is why i outright refuse to drop my subject even on the days when it eats me alive, because i think if i drop out i'll get stuck in my hometown. uni was an escape for me and that's one of the reasons i love it so much. but over time, while it still lingers i wont pretend it doesnt, ive realised how wrong that mindset is. there's so many types of people at university. some people come onto campus with their children. some people are middle-aged. some people just did a gap year. my own flatmate is a second year uni student just like us but she's a year older bc she dropped out of first year bc of covid and reapplied. uni made me realise how common MESSINESS is. i hardly know anyone who got here on the really straight and narrow route, and maybe that's just part of being the covid cohort who knows but there's not a 'correct' way of doing things.

idk i think school is very rigid UNTIL you reach eighteen, and bc the universe is such a bitch you only realise how fluid everything gets post-eighteen ONCE YOUVE MADE THE DECISIONS.

so yeah, if you want to know what i think? chase that place that's calling to you. worst case scenario is it lets you down but you finally scratch the itch; that alone is something to live for. if you ever change your mind, university and that path isn't going anywhere. there's always so much choice, we just sometimes box ourselves in until it feels like there isnt

[yminie]

nine-one-one | dos | pjm (m)

pairing: Jimin x Reader genre/warnings: angst, smut (to come), fluff, oldflame!pairing, detective!jimin, firstresponder!reader, mentions of death, mentions of murder, mentions of suicide, mentions of mental health problems, mentions of weapons, explicit language, implied stalking, brief scenes of physical assault. words: 15.3k summary: all Jimin wants is to whisk you away in an attempt to keep you safe, but how can he truly keep you safe if he doesn’t know who to protect you from?

a/n: part two is finally here!! find the first part here which I definitely reccomend reading before this part so you know whats up! :) I hope you enjoy and please send me lots of feedback and let me know how you feel :P

Before the ringing white noise in your ears manages to clear, things are already in motion so fast your vision begins to blur. Somewhere in the back of your mind you realise Jimin is trying to speak to you, his phone pressed tight to his ear as he speaks rapidly into the end while his hand on your shoulder attempts to rouse you from your frozen state of shock.

Your eyes are still stuck on the screen, unseeing as you stare to the point of your eyes burning, but the extra tears it produces are lost entirely in the wetness still pouring from the corners. Lungs burning, you gasp for air while your frame shakes with hiccuped sobs. The front of your shirt is littered with darkened drops of moisture, the tears dripping from your chin sinking into the fabric quickly.

“_____!” Jimin rips you from your reverie with strong hands grasping your shoulders, and you yelp in surprise as he spins you in place to face him, no longer looking at the computer on your desk. His eyes are wild, alarmed, and even a little scared. And the idea that something could make Jimin scared terrifies you even more. “Breathe, _____, please breathe–”

“J-Jimin–” Collapsing forward, he barely gets the chance to catch you as you sag in your chair, knees hitting the floor painfully hard before he quite gets the chance to get a solid grip. Pulling you up, Jimin holds you to his side as you bury your face in his shoulder, and you can hear him firing off orders as rapid footsteps make their way towards you.

“–and I want that fucking audio file analysed. Get on to vocal recognition. I want a list of all the tenants of her building and the three surrounding. I want their records, all their files, any information possible on that sick fuck.” His swearing cuts deep into your consciousness, and you shiver against him violently enough for his arm around your waist to tighten. “She's coming with me. Organise a squad to be at her address tomorrow at 10am sharp.”

You don’t even see where you’re going, eyelids pressed together in an attempt to slow the tears running down your cheeks, yet even with the state you’re in, you trust in Jimin’s guidance. He’s still speaking to you gently, soothingly, as he pulls you through to the elevator, and as the familiar scent of his cologne starts to fill your senses, your breaths start to come a little easier.

When he releases you it’s to brace you against the rail inside the elevator, but his hold on your waist doesn’t falter even as he shuffles back to choose which floor he wishes to take you. But you don’t bother looking, busy doing your best to calm yourself as your head rests back on the cold metal of the wall behind you. The chill is helping you to focus less on the sound of the killers voice echoing around within your head, and you seek the cold even more, turning to press your wet cheek to the surface.

“Hey, you’re okay.” Jimin notices the shiver you don’t and he quickly returns to your side, hand stroking along the curve of your back slowly as he leans over to look into your eyes. “I promise. Nothing’s gonna happen to you, yeah?”

“H-He knows, Jimin. He knows where I live–” Jimin shushes you as your emotions start to escalate, and you’re cut off by your own gasp for air, missing the ding and whirr as the elevator stops and the doors glide open.

“I know, _____. I know you’re scared. But I mean it, he’s not getting anywhere near you.” Jimin’s eyes are intent on you, and if you looked hard enough you’d probably be able to see your own reflection in them. He waits, regardless of the way the doors start to glide closed, until you’re completely ready to move. Only then does he guide you with a warm hand between your shoulder blades out of the elevator, and straight towards his car through the parking lot.

__________

A sense of nostalgia fills you when Jimin puts the car into park in the underground of his apartment building, the familiarity and knowledge that nothing has really changed in all these years distracting you somewhat, and you’re grateful for the slight reprieve. The paint and cars have changed just a little but the building itself is exactly the same, and you can’t help glancing around as Jimin leads you up the stairs to the lobby, pausing as you both wait patiently for the elevator.

“Feel weird?” He asks, guessing exactly how you’re feeling with just a look at your face and the idea makes you smile a little, face feeling dry and stiff from the saltiness still coating it.

“A little. Not much has changed.” The strange part was knowing you’d even lived here, shared a tenancy with Jimin while you were together and had so many days and nights together in the room just a few floors up. You can only imagine how wide your eyes must be as they eagerly take everything in, and yet you somehow miss the way Jimin is watching you, the corners of his mouth tilted upwards as you glance around in wonder.

The elevator makes it to your floor, and you dutifully step in after Jimin, automatically crossing your arms and holding yourself together. Jimin had stopped touching you over time, feeling your calm no longer calls for his contact, and you immediately start to miss his warmth, even when you’d hoped you wouldn’t.

“The apartment hasn’t really changed either, maybe just less decoration.” The thought makes the both of you laugh gently, the heaviness that had sunk into your stomach starting to lighten, and you don’t doubt it for a second.

“That doesn’t surprise me. Remember when I tried to explain the point of throw pillows to you?” His laughter becomes a little louder as he recalls the conversation, and you immediately grin. “You were so confused as to why I wanted pillows we weren’t going to actually lay on.”

“I still don't think I get it!” The muscle memory takes you easily through the elevator doors once they open to down the hall, and Jimin laughs as he drags his keys from his pocket. “All I wanted was to nap on my lounge!”

“They were silk pillows Jimin. Proper silk! You drooled on one and I could never get the damn stain out!” The two of you join in laughter as Jimin unlocks the apartment, breathlessness hitting you both as you make it inside, and for a second all you can do is look around silently.

The lounge had been replaced with something a bit more chic, a plain grey futon that had a messily thrown blanket that just screamed falling asleep watching tv, and you note it was one of Jimin’s bad habits. Not to mention you would then be the one hearing him complain the next day of a sore neck, and always having to massage him until he stopped whining. Even more annoying was how cute he could be whilst doing it, and the memory brings a slight smile to your face.

“Sorry about the mess, I’ve been sleeping more than cleaning these days.” Jimin automatically moves forwards to tidy the coffee table, and you simply shake your head, watching as he scurries about and shifts things around for a minute until he’s satisfied. “Do you want something to drink? I think I have some tea in the cupboard?”

“That’d be great, actually.” You smile gratefully, though it feels a little off even to you, but even though he notices Jimin doesn’t say anything about it, only watching you for a moment before moving into the kitchen. Listening as he fills the kettle with water, you walk slowly through the apartment until you reach the floor length windows on the side, wincing as you hear something fall in the cupboard as he digs around. But your eyes never leave the skyline, the sunset turning the sky oranges and pinks as it starts to settle behind the buildings, and you let yourself get lost in the sight.

“Hey, you want peppermint or chai?” Jimin’s voice right beside you makes you jump, stumbling a step away before he drops the boxes of teabags and moves to stabilise you, and you close your eyes to pull a deep breath into your lungs. “Hey, you’re ok, I’ve got you.”

“Sorry, I–sorry.” You’re looking down at the little packets all over the floor, immediately bending to pick them up, but Jimin holds you tightly in place, refusing to let you do so, and after a few seconds of stubbornly glaring down at the mess, you finally look up at him.

“Don’t apologise. I mean it, I’m not letting anything happen to you. No matter where you are, I’m going to keep you safe. Before and after this guy is caught, yeah?” His thumbs rub warmth into the exposed skin just below the hems of your sleeves on your upper arms, and you slowly relax into his grip, walls coming down. “Have I ever let you down before?”

“No.” You speak with confidence, and you can see the way Jimin’s eyes fill with warmth at the trust in your gaze.

“Then believe me when I say I’m not going to now.” He waits for you to nod before rubbing your arms gently and bending down to collect the strewn packets, and when he straightens he wraps his arm around your shoulders and guides you along into the kitchen. You let him sit you down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar, and watch as he picks out a large mug for you.

“Since when do you keep peppermint tea on hand?” He turns just enough to give you a playful stink eye, before relaxing his expression into a gentle smile.

“Hoseok comes around at least once a week to do casework together and it’s the only thing he drinks; he’s not really a caffeine person.” Turning, he puts the boxes in front of you and gestures between them. “Which would you like?”

You finally start to relax around an hour later, one cup of tea down and the fresh refill warm in your hands as Jimin moves gently around the apartment, taking phone calls and typing away on his laptop as you quietly watch the tv. You won’t admit it, but you really spend way more time watching him than you do the movie that’s playing.

His aura still hasn't changed even after so many years, that same warmth and comforting softness that kept you feeling relaxed and safe for so long still on him like a blanket, and you even find yourself taking comfort in the natural scent of your surroundings. The blanket he’d wrapped you tight in smelled so strongly of his cologne you don’t doubt he’d slept here multiple times the past few weeks, and the pillow you lean down to rest your head on has the same sweet scent that grips you everytime he leans in to hold you tight.

The feeling of his presence is everywhere from the clutter of case files littering each surface, to the fine layer of dust you can smell from the way he’s always forgotten that dusting is a thing. He’s so completely himself, since forever, and the thought comforts you more that any weapon or security system ever could.

“Are you enjoying the movie? You can change it if you want, it’s just what was on.” You blink two or three times before you fully come to, and when you focus once more you find yourself looking straight at Jimin himself, noting the way his cheeks are bunched and his lips are pressed together as though he’s trying not to laugh. And you soon realise it’s because of how you’d been sat, staring hard at the side of his head with your mouth fallen open in concentration.

Jaw snapping shut hard enough to trigger a sharp ache in your teeth, you flush far redder than you care to admit as you jerk your head to the side and refocus on the screen. You have absolutely no clue what’s happening in the movie, but pretending is far better than having to admit to staring at Jimin so intently. “This is fine. It’s good.”

“Okay.” He nods, a smile still pulling at his cheeks, and for a moment he just watches you, enjoying the way your face stays heated under his watchful gaze. But then he recaptures your attention with a loud yawn, arching his chest out as he stretches, and when he refocuses on you his eyes are glassy with moisture, shining like crystals. “I’m probably going to have to get ready for bed soon. Do you want to have a shower?”

“I don’t have any clothes.” Jimin hums, thinking for a second, and you watch as he jumps up enthusiastically, feet scuffling on the carpet as he makes his way across the room, and you watch as he waddles endearingly through the door to the bedroom. You listen as the rumble of the closet doors sliding open sounds, and a slight scuffle before silence, and then Jimin reappears in the doorway, holding a surprisingly familiar item of clothing.

“Here! I found this a few months back in a box in the cupboard. I just kept forgetting to give it back to you.” Your chest bubbles with warmth while your stomach breaks out in butterflies, and you accept the hoodie he hands you with a shocked smile. It’s not yours, not really, but you’d stolen it so regularly it had become an unspoken rule that while he may have bought the hoodie, it was yours far more than his.

“I thought you’d kept it when I moved out.” Your fingers are playing with the softness of the fabric, and a slightly awkward silence falls over the both of you as he watches you roll the cloth between your fingers.

“It was your favourite, I would’ve let you keep it.” You look up at him then, catching something unidentifiable in his eyes before he blinked it away, and then you’re left looking at each other as your hands fall still in your lap. All until he clears his throat gruffly and shakes himself into composure, turning on his heel. “I’ll get you a towel and some pants.”

The walk to the bathroom is plagued with silence once Jimin disappears into his office, and you find yourself gazing out the large apartment windows as you walk across the living room. Your eyes dart from each inch of darkness outside to the next, fear in that now ever-present feeling of eyes on you unshakable, and it’s almost embarrassing how quickly your heart beat speeds up. As do your feet as you rush into the bathroom and close the door with a heavy sigh.

You can't help but crank up the heat, steam floating from the tiles at the bottom of the shower to make a mist above your head, and your tense muscles seemingly melt once you step inside. The water burns a little against your tender eyes and dry cheeks, but your skin quickly adjusts as you tip your head forward under the stream, allowing the downpour to drip down your cheeks and off your chin. It’s a little hard to breathe in the thickness of the foggy cubicle, but you start to feel a little lighter once the tingling of heat takes your attention.

The bodywash you find in the shower caddy is the same it’s always been, and you find yourself guilty of holding the open top to your nose just a few seconds longer than should be deemed sensible, losing yourself further in the familiarity of Jimin’s signature scent. Bergamot and pine settle deep in your senses and a blanket of calm covers you, the smell only becoming more pungent as you massage the foam into the skin of your chest and arms. Jimin had always been a symbol of security in your life; safety, love and support, and you’ve never been able to kick that little habit of finding solace in the smallest signs of his presence.

And naturally this had meant that you’d lost your way every now and then after losing that source of comfort, no longer having someone to turn to when things get a little too tough or something goes bump in the night. You’d had to grow a lot since splitting with Jimin, and though now you’d like to consider yourself to be a relatively independent woman; able to pay her own bills, cook, clean and pave her own way in the world, you couldn’t help letting yourself be little selfish when faced with what you’d thought was lost forever.

By the time you’ve used his sweet orange shampoo and conditioner, and lathered yourself until no skin was visible, the entire room is swallowed in a cloudy haze, and your skin is bright pink from the rigorousness you’d scrubbed at yourself with. Stepping from the shower to wrap yourself in a towel, you find yourself cringing at how you instantly begin to sweat from the humidity, and immediately switch on the fan above you.

As the mist clears, so does the mirror, and you finally get a proper look at yourself. Your cheeks are shiny and raw, from fingers pressed a little too hard and the heat turned up just a little too hot, and your eyes are puffy and bloodshot, a clear sign of your exhaustion. It’s not even that late, only going on around eight o’clock, but your body aches with a heaviness that feels like you haven't slept in days, and as you pull the sweatpants up your tired legs, you groan at the way your back twinges in protest.

Foregoing your underwear and bra is surprisingly comfortable under the loose clothes, though you instantly burrow yourself into the hoodie once you step from the bathroom back into reality, arms crossed over your freed breasts and fingers tucked into your armpits to escape the slight chill of Jimin’s air conditioning. It’s like a habit, the way your eyes dart over to the windows again, but your heart calms at the sight of Jimin’s blinds drawn across the glass, hiding you from the outside world.

The man himself is sat in front of the tv, eyes heavy and starting to droop as he watches the program on screen sleepily. There’s a sandwich sat untouched on the coffee table, but the sight of an empty plate beside it leads you to believe he’s already had one himself, which leaves the only assumption to be that he’d made one for you. The thought of eating suddenly has your stomach groaning, and you pat it gently as you approach the lounge, finally catching Jimin’s attention.

“Hey, give me those.” He throws the blanket you’d seen earlier to the side off his lap and immediately reaches out for the clothes you have in your hands, your outfit from earlier. After a slight hesitation you hand them to him, trying not to think about the fact your bra and panties is so clearly at the top of the pile now in his hands. “I have a load of washing ready to be done so I’ll throw them in, okay? That sandwich is for you, you need to eat before bed.”

His no-nonsense attitude is comfortingly familiar as always, and you give his back a slight smile as you watch him disappear into the laundry, picking up your plate and taking a small bite before he reappears. It’s your favourite kind, and your heart flutters at the idea he’d remembered such a minor thing, but you know it’s silly to entertain such thoughts when you know you remember his too.

The tv is the only thing filling the silence as you eat, the two of you sat quietly side by side as a movie you don't recognize plays, and quicker than you thought you could manage, the sandwich is devoured and you’re brushing crumbs off your hands. The clang of your plate being placed on top of his shatters the silence, and Jimin jerks back awake from where he’d begun to doze off to automatically take the plates to the kitchen, but you scoop them up before he can beat you with a heavy feeling of guilt settling in your gut.

Jimin had done the morning shift, no doubt started work before the sun had risen, and yet he’d still hung around until he knew you’d clock off, and now stayed up to make sure you were safe and had eaten. Guilt starts to toxify, transforming into self-contempt, and you suddenly realise how much of a burden you’re becoming on him again.

Which only gets worse when he approaches you in the kitchen where you’re rinsing the plates in the sink and chewing on your lower lip, deep in thought. “I got the bed ready for you, so you can head in whenever you’d like.”

“What?” You frown, turning to him and furrowing your brows further at the sight of him rubbing at his puffy eyes.

“The bed? I–”

“Jimin, I’m not taking the bed from you.” This time he’s the one frowning, and you hug yourself as his lips settle in a slight pout. “It’s your apartment, I can’t take your–”

“You’re not taking it, I’m giving it to you.” He sighs tiredly, and for a second his frustration is clear on his face before he rolls his shoulders with a grunt, joints clicking. “I don’t want you having a crappy nights’ sleep on the couch when I can give you the bedroom.”

“So you expect me to let you have a shitty sleep instead? Jimin you’ve been up since god knows when, I won’t just let you–” Your voice is getting higher in pitch, and you’re cut off when Jimin turns on his heel with a scoff and makes for the lounge. “–Hey!”

Petulantly, you run past him and clamber over the back of the futon, almost falling off in your daring attempt at beating him to the couch, and he stands frozen, gaping down at you from where he’s stopped mid step. You know it’s childish, but you can't help it, and when Jimin laughs incredulously and makes another move to grab you where you sit, you wrap yourself into the blanket and lie across the lounge, eyes closed.

“Are you joking?” Jimin’s voice is full of mirth, and when you peek one eye open to see him laughing silently, your own lips twist in amusement.

“Go to bed, J‘min.” Your voice is muffled by the blanket, but you know he can hear you, and through your one eye you watch as he stares down at you for a moment before shaking his head, and finally walking across the room to his bedroom, quietly muttering to himself with a smile.

In the midst of his absence, you finally notice how soft and comfortable the futon actually is, and the resistance to burrow down into the cushions and relax with your nose filled with Jimin’s scent embedded onto the blanket is futile. In fact, you relax so hard that you’re drifting somewhere between sleep and consciousness faster than you’d realised was possible, and you get a small fright when something carefully rubs your shoulder.

“Hm-wha–?” Your voice cracks a little when you squint through the dimness of the room, but your body relaxes instantly when you recognize the figure standing over you, and Jimin smiles down at you gently as you finally spot the pillow and blanket in his hands.

His touch is even more gentle when he lifts under your neck to ease your head up, and you comply easily as the cool cotton of the pillowcase touches your skin. The comforter he places over you then is even nicer than the blanket he'd slipped from you, and you can instantly tell its the one off his bed. Had you been more lucid, you’d have argued against him giving you his personal bedding, but with the way your body is already sinking further into the cushions below, you can’t focus on anything further.

And just before you fully fall into unconsciousness, you feel a cool, gentle palm brush the hair off your cheek, along with the soothing timber of his voice as he mumbles to you good night.

__________

Every inch of your body is on fire as the fingers that are wrapped around your throat tighten. Every fibre of your being screaming for air as you struggle uselessly against the hold, and your fingers and toes start to tingle as your limbs go numb.

“I told you.” His voice sounds far away through the blood pumping through your ears, and as the rush of frozen air glides over your skin, you feel your body start to twitch and jerk. “You’re next. I told–I TOLD YOU.”

The sound that escapes your throat is dry and grating, and though your eyes burn you’re too numb to feel the tears pouring from them even as they drip from your chin. You gurgle and hack under his pulsating grip, and the sounds seem to make him even more enthusiastic, second hand coming up to loop his arm around your neck instead, and your heart starts to slow in your chest as his hand shifts to frame your jaw.

“_____.”

Your muscles shudder and shift, rolling across your bones as though no longer connected, ligament and tendon dissolved into your blood. And in the roaring silence, you realise you can breathe again, the hold on your throat gone, but your lungs are still empty as you whine and gasp.

“_____!”

You see him, stood in the doorway of your bedroom, faceless and shrouded in darkness, and your bones are heavy as lead, even as you try your hardest to hide under your comforter.

“P-Please, don’t!” You can feel the vibration of his footsteps as he steps closer, and your heart starts to beat in time with the thudding of your own feet as you’re suddenly running down a strangely familiar hallway. “H-Help me! Someone help!”

But no matter how hard you push your feet, the end of the hall seems to get further and further away, and the figure looming behind you gets closer…

“_____, open your eyes, sweetheart!” And closer...

“N-No!” Closer…

“Soon.”

__________

“Jimin!” The scream that rips from your throat tears a sharp aching pain down your chest, and suddenly you come to with your body drenched in sweat, face dripping with tears as you rub your sodden cheek against a firm, warm shoulder.

“I’m here, baby. I promise, I’m here.” Jimin’s scent engulfs you where your head is pressed into the curve of his neck, lean body leant half over you where you’re curled up on the futon in his apartment. And as each wave of recognition comes back to you, you sag into the security and comfort he personifies, and he merely holds you close as you sob into his skin.

“J-J’min–” Your legs tangle up in the blanket still caught around you in a small panic, and the moment you’re free from the restriction you half launch yourself into his lap, straddling the leg closest to you even as you drape sideways over his legs. And though he grunts slightly with the effort it takes to catch you, he doesn’t hesitate to pull you even closer, face pressed into your damp hair as he rocks you gently back and forth.

“You’re okay, I’ve got you. You’re okay–” The tenderness with which he tightens his grip and pulls the blanket back over your shaking form sends you through another wave of tears, and he gives a deep sigh as he hushes you again. He’s always been instinctively empathetic when it came to you, and seeing you so drowned in emotion is affecting him more than he wants to let on.

And god, do you miss him. It’s so easy to forget that missing presence when you willfully ignore it’s absence, but being so close to Jimin again...it’s not hard to remember all the reasons you loved him in the first place.

His bare skin is warm against your hands where their clutching at his biceps to keep him close, and for the first time you realise he’s shirtless, face weary with exhaustion with the way he’s been pulled from sleep lord only knows how long after finally settling in for the night, and another wave of guilt envelopes you. It’s a push in what can only be the right direction though, as you quickly swallow enough air to have your breathing back to a more normal rate, and your hands roughly swipe at the moisture on your face.

“Hey,” Jimin catches your hands as they rub the skin of your cheeks raw, and you feel even more pitiful as you blink down at him through the clumping wetness of your lashes. He sighs again, eyes warm and familiar even as they echo with the pain of seeing you in such a state, and your bottom lip wobbles pitifully before you nab it between your teeth. “You’re here with me. You’re safe. Nothing can happen to you here, okay?”

“Hho-okay.” You can’t help but hiccup a little as you finally start to really settle in his arms, and Jimin stays patient through each minute it takes you to relax again. His hand shifts from yours to settle between your shoulder blades, and you’re brought back to reality by the way the inside of his sweatshirt is starting to stick to your sweaty skin underneath. It’d been a while since you’d had such a strongly upsetting nightmare like that, and your body had surely taken the brunt of the toll. “S-Sorr–”

“Don’t apologise.” Jimin’s hand on your back pulls you close again, and you don’t think twice before nestling your face into his neck again as he gently rubs up and down the length of your spine. Your legs are bent relatively uncomfortably under you, and you finally shift up to relieve his thigh from the pressure of your weight on such an awkward angle.

And now you’re fully straddling his thigh, hovering half in the air so as not to settle your backside on his knee, and although your face is starting to burn from the emotions bubbling in your stomach, Jimin’s gaze stays neutral and concerned. But you can’t help the shyness building within you at the sight of his sculpted torso laid out so clearly in front of you, while you sit perched in his lap. And as much as you wanted to reach out and touch him the way you would have in the past, the ice cold water of reality washes down your back in the form of a whisper in the back of your mind that he’s not yours to touch anymore.

Jimin doesn’t stop you as you finally slip from his lap back onto the lounge beside him, but he does stay close, sliding over until your thighs are pressed together, and his eyes stay keen and alert as he searches your expression. “I’m okay, Jimin.”

“I know.” His eyes are warmed slightly as he curls the corner of his lips up into a lopsided smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “My brave girl. You’ve always been able to overcome this.”

Your blush intensifies for reasons you’d rather not admit, a flutter in your stomach that seems to be specially reserved just for him, and you busy yourself with putting your pillow back into place from where you’d knocked it on the floor. But a gentle palm on your arm stops you, and when you look up Jimin shakes his head.

“Come to bed with me.” You stare at him, almost blankly, and your heart starts to speed up again in your chest. If Jimin recognizes how suggestive the words could be, he doesn’t let it show, choosing instead to swipe the pillow from your hands and hook the blanket over his shoulder, finally hiding some of his toned chest. It takes a few seconds for you to really respond to what he’s asking, but he doesn’t rush you, and when you finally stand he reaches out with a warm hand and laces his fingers with yours.

The steps you finally take into his bedroom is like a blast from the past, and with the way the left side of the bed is bare of pillows, you can instantly tell he still sleeps on the same side he used to. He makes his way to the bed instantly, patting your pillow into place and fluffing the comforter out until it covers the entirety of the bed, and when he turns back to you, you start to grow shy again.

You haven't shared a bed with anyone since the two of you split, and the thought of crawling back in beside him now after so long has a strange ache in your chest forming. If you were to focus on it long enough...you’d recognize it as longing.

“Don’t overthink this.” Jimin takes your stiff silence as discomfort, and he brings you back to the present once more as he slowly walks towards you. His torso is even more visible in the clearer light, warmed by the lamp lit up on his bedside table, and you almost feel the need to avert your eyes as he gets closer, regardless of having seen it all before. You think it’s in the certain way his sleep shorts hang off his hips, and the way the light bends and curves along the toned ridges of his stomach, but he in his entirety has always been a little overwhelming. He hasn’t changed in the few years you’d been apart, and almost regrettably you don’t doubt that you have.

“I-I’m not. I promise.” You nervously sweep the hair falling into your eyes back behind your ear, and his worried expression relaxes as you finally take the few steps towards the bed. He catches you before you can shift the blankets and climb onto the mattress though, a cool hand pressed to your cheek as he notices the way your baby hairs stick to the edges of your hairline.

“You’re warm. Would you rather a sleep shirt instead of the jumper?” At your nod he moves to the other side of the bed and digs through the bottom drawer of his nightstand until he produces a plain black shirt, and when you accept the fabric he holds towards you, he automatically spins on his heel and heads back out to the living area.

He’d remembered you were bare under the sweater, and you give a grateful smile to the empty room as you pull the slightly damp fabric over your head and let it fall off the edge of the bed beside you. The thin cotton of the new shirt is welcome on your humid skin, the cool freshness of the fabric soothing against the heat inside you, and by the time you’re finally slipping down under the covers, Jimin is walking back into the room and closing the door with a quiet click.

The soft padding of his feet against the carpet as he rounds the bed to his side brings contentment that only welcome company can bring, and you find yourself involuntarily nestling down into the bed even more. A gleam of metal shines in the corner of your eyes, something heavy being placed inside the top of his nightstand, and the both of you silently ignore the fact you’d just witnessed him returning his gun to it’s hiding place under a false base in the bottom of the drawer.

“Comfy?” He keeps his voice gentle, pushing the drawer closed smoothly, and you barely blink up at him before you nod your head. The last thing you see before he switches off the light is the sparkle of his eyes as he smiles down at you.

The mattress shifts slightly as he slides under the covers on his side, and the fresh scent of clean bedsheets and Jimin is a heady aroma of comfort when his movements fluff the blankets, and your eyes droop as the night starts to catch up with you once more.

Somewhere in the stillness of midnight, with your body half asleep and heavy, you manage to roll onto your side without thought and gently tuck your face between the softness of Jimin’s pillow and his shoulder. You’re too far gone to hear his soft noise of surprise, nor is it light enough in the room for you to have been able to see the gleam of his smile as he looks down at you. But one thing's for sure; when he rolls onto his own side and pulls your sleepy frame closer, pressing you into the warmth of his chest like you never left, you fall asleep faster than ever.

__________

Your rousing from sleep comes slowly, consciousness strengthening in waves as you gradually get back the movement in your body through the thick dregs of sleep that hold you tight, and once you can feel again you realise how warm your pillow is beneath your head. And only when you nuzzle down further into it and feel the slight pressure of a broad surface against your back do your eyes open to show you a long arm stretched out past your head and dangling off the edge of the bed.

A minute must pass before the night prior refreshes in your mind, and at a closer glance you recognize the rings adorning the fingers as they twitch slightly, and you already assume the sight before you when you shift and turn onto your back.

Jimin is still fast asleep where he’s been pressed against your back, shoulders and chest fluctuating with every breath as he sleeps restfully, and for a few moments you bask in the feeling of his closeness as he unconsciously uses the arm beneath your head to wrap around your back and pull you even closer. And now facing him on your right side, up close in this way you haven't been in so long, every minute detail of his features is more prominent than ever, and you simply lose yourself in his soft, relaxed expression.

You cannot pinpoint how long you stay lain against him, time ticking on without your attention, but when the pressing need for hunger becomes too hard to ignore, you find yourself struggling to climb from his embrace without rousing him. The sound of your feet against the carpet even seems too loud, and you chew on your lower lip when you freeze at a slight shift in his position, but when he gives a heavy sigh and starts to gently snore again, you continue on.

The sight of the city through the blinds when you open them just slightly is an almost dreary view, a haze of grey in the sky with only the slightest slivers of blue peeking through while a light cover of rain pitter-pats against the glass in front of you. It’s not very late in the morning, the sun not yet high enough to light up this side of the building like it had in the evening sunset last night, but the city below you waits for no one, and the bustle continues on through the early morning with cars beeping their horns and people crawling the streets.

Your stomach starts to growl as you set the coffee machine to brew, and when a quick glance into Jimin’s fridge shows nothing of much substance, you turn to the pantry instead and quickly choose a cereal before pouring two bowls. You time it well enough that you’re able to pour milk into your coffee just after your cereal, and as you settle at the counter, Jimin’s bedroom door creaks open just loud enough to catch your attention.

“Morning.” Jimin’s eyes are half open and his voice is little more than a croak, but you know your hair is just as crazy as his is.

“Hey.” He pads across the floor towards you and immediately heads to the coffee machine, pouring himself a cup quickly before settling beside you and tipping milk into his own cereal. For a few moments there’s nothing to be heard other than the scrape of cutlery on porcelain as you both eat in silence, but your mind is still racing with the events of the last twenty-four hours.

“How’d you sleep?” Jimin is far more alert when he finishes his breakfast, standing to take both your bowl and his own to the sink, and when he turns back to face you it takes you a few moments to compute that he’s really still half naked, not helped by the way he stretches his back and sweeps his fingers through his hair.

“Better. Thanks for...taking care of me. Last night.” He’s shaking his head before you finish your sentence, and you’d be rolling your eyes if you weren't being distracted by the way the muscles on his ribs curve and tense with his movements as he lifts his arms over his head to crack his back.

“Don’t need to thank me for that, _____. You know that.” He steps forward until he’s stood beside you, close enough you can feel the heat of his exposed skin, and you feel yourself swallow thickly. “I made arrangements yesterday when we got here. I hope you know I’m not taking any risks when it comes to your safety, especially not until this guy is caught.”

“What kind of arrangements?” You almost dread his answer, and you know he can tell by the way his face twists into a wistful smirk, but you maintain your worried expression. The last thing you want is for things to blow up and for word to get around in your apartment building that something is wrong. As far as you’re concerned the more low-key the better.

“Officers will be on hand around the clock–” you groan before you can help yourself, the dreaded image of personal bodyguards watching your every move becoming very real in your mind, but Jimin just rolls his eyes “–don’t start that. This is for your safety.”

“I know.” You would like to say you’re not whining, but lord knows even you can’t lie that well to yourself, and it’s making Jimin’s smile widen into a grin as he pinches your chin between thumb and forefinger.

“It’s nothing major, I promise. They’ll fit in to regular security and no one will even notice they’re there.” You slowly nodded in acquiescence, and Jimin continues to smile down at you gently. “Besides, this is the closest we’ve come to tracking this guy down, and I will stop at nothing to ensure your safety, you should know that.”

“I do.” You’re grumbling, but the pout of your lips causes his smile to widen, and he releases your chin to take a step back, oblique muscles rippling as he twists his spine with a low click.

“Yeah, I know.” You’re grumbling, but the pout of your lips causes his smile to widen, and he releases your chin to take a step back, oblique muscles rippling as he twists his spine with a low click.

"I'll go grab your clothes from the laundry, and then I've gotta head into work okay?" Jimin snags your empty bowl off the counter and spins to rinse it in the sink quickly. "The team Hoseok organised for your apartment building will be waiting for me to take you home and debrief them."

He turns back to find your lips pouting again, though more ironically this time as you try to ignore the way the hairs on your arms are starting to raise at the mere thought of going back to the apartment. Somewhere that had once felt like a safe haven, now ruined by the revelation of just how exposed your quiet little life has become.

"C'mon, pouty. Let's get ready for the day." He teases, pout of retaliation on full force enough to pull a genuine smile from you as he drags you from the counter.

__________

The next few days passes by slower than any you can remember, and as the morning blends into evening and the moon rises high into the night in a blur of shifting stars and muddy clouds, you almost lose your concept of time passing.

You've not left your apartment since Jimin brought you home, stuck in your fortress as you await the outcome of the past few days, body constantly locked tense and on alert at the mere hint of a noise outside your apartment door. And everytime your phone chimes with an alert, you're stuck dreading the idea it could be more bad news.

It's not until mid morning on the fourth day that you finally crack, the walls closing in on you the more time you spend between them, and you call it quits at the barren sight of your fridge bouncing off the back of your aching eyes. The migraine you'd woken up with intensifies as you prepare yourself to leave the apartment, only to be stopped short by a sharply dressed man holding his hand out between you and the door that exits onto the street.

"I'm sorry Miss, but I am unable to let you leave." You blink up at him, vaguely recognizing him from the group you'd been introduced to as your team of protectors, and he starts to shift awkwardly from toe to toe as your gaze unintentionally turns scathing. But you can't exactly help it, stomach growling from hunger and a painfully sharp stabbing along the base of your skull without rest. "D-Detective Park's orders, Miss."

"Well can I at least go to the corner store so I can eat something today?" He glances back awkwardly, clenching and unclenching his fingers before finally dropping his blocking limb, and when you follow his gaze its to find yet another officer dressed quite casually behind the front desk. If you hadn't been clued in, you'd almost have thought him to be an unfamiliar member of the buildings' staff.

But his stiff posture and sharp gaze being concentrated on you gives him away easily, and by the way he seems to silently warn his partner with another sharp look and an almost imperceptible shake of his head, you can only imagine what Jimin must have used as an incentive for the two to stick to their task.

The man before you turns back around, meeting your tired look with a sheepish expression, and you need not stand there any longer to know you're not getting out of the building alone today.

Rightfully, you should be happy with the knowledge that the officers entrusted with your safety are taking their jobs seriously, but with your stomach grumbling and the thought of getting some good, oily takeout into your stomach from the restaurant just down the street, your acceptance for such a thing is dwindling by the second.

And so you dig your phone from your pocket, frowning at the low battery percentage flashing up at you as you dial, and you don't miss the almost fearful look the boy twists to give the other once more, ignoring them as the line rings.

It takes until almost the final ring for Jimin to answer, a few moments of white noise and muffled speaking before the click of a door shutting silences it and then Jimin's smooth voice is floating through the receiver.

"_____? Is everything okay?" He sounds worried, and you feel a twinge at the fact you're bothering him at work, but the burning need for freedom is hotter than the self disdain you're capable of feeling in the moment.

"I can't even leave my apartment building, Jimin. Are you serious?" You turn away from the officer in front of you to face the elevators you'd just come from, stepping a few paces as though you could get out of earshot in small area enclosing the three of you, and you all ignore the young boy that sometimes works the front desk when he passes by with a glance.

"_____–" Jimin starts with a sigh, a slap in the background that gives you the intense visual of him having thrown a folder down to pinch the bridge of his nose and you frown in response. "I told you what was happening, the perp could be anywhere–"

"So what I just get to sit and be miserable in my apartment while I wait for you to track him down? That could be weeks, Jimin!" He gives another sigh and you sniff, feeling the telltale moisture triggered by your frustration starting to tickle the back of your throat. "I just want to be able to at least live my life. Otherwise, all I can do is sit around and think about him... I don't want to think about him anymore, J'min."

"I know, swee–_____. I know. But I really think this is the safest option until we can organise something better–"

"I just want to go get some groceries, Jimin! Please? Just down the street, that's it!" You sniff again, just short of stomping your feet as you start to grow more flustered, cheeks burning as you speak lowly into the receiver.

"Don't cry, please." Jimin croaks, betraying his exhaustion, and it's muffled as though he's buried his face into his hands. "I told you I wouldn't let anything happen to you, and this is the best way for me to ensure that. I can have one of the boys come and bring you something to eat until we can organise a shopping day."

"J'min, please?" You sound so small, and it only makes it harder for him to say–

"I'm sorry." The gentle beep is far too sharp in Jimin's ear with the way his head is starting to ache, and he stares at the 'Call: Ended' screen until it disappears and the display goes black.

You don't offer the officers in the lobby a second glance, beelining back for the elevator with your head tilted forward far enough to hide your burning cheeks and wet eyelashes from anyone nearby. The ding echoes extra loud as the doors open upon your request, and you bury yourself in the corner with a pitiful sniffle as you complain to yourself quietly, tone akin to that of a child being refused by it's mother to buy candy.

Pushing yourself off the wall with a grunt when the elevator gets back to your floor, you almost stumble over the threshold onto the carpeted hallway. And you only grow more flustered when on approaching your door, they key to your apartment slips out of your fingers and slides precariously close to the slight gap at the very bottom.

Choking on an alarmed gasp, you immediately drop down onto one knee to retrieve it, but as you go to straighten up, there is a metallic shriek at the end of the hall that makes you freeze in fear, eyes flickering up to see the exit door leading to the stairwell. But...for some reason, it almost looks like its...propped open.

The hairs on the back of your neck stand up with the instant electricity that runs across your skin, and you nearly drop your key once more as your fingers start to tremble. Staring hard, you ignore the ache in the backs of your eyes as you catch the gap between the door and the wall widen only just enough to be noticeable while you're watching, as though someone had let the door swing shut too fast and was...checking to see if you'd noticed.

But the stairwell is dark compared to the bright hallway, only ever used by maintenance workers and on the rare occasion the elevator is unavailable, and even as you stay unblinking, you cannot discern whether it's the natural shadow of the room beyond the gap...or if that's the silhouette of a person trying very hard to not be seen.

Sweat breaks out across your temples and upper lip, muscles locking up as your fight or flight instincts scream at you to run, and just as the gap wavers again, and you feel the terror start to clog up your throat, your shoulder is grabbed by a large, warm hand.

"_____–ahh!" Taehyung himself yells in shock as you slap his hand away with a horrified shriek, knocking something large and dark out of his hand and distantly hearing it hit the wall next to Taehyung's own apartment door. Holding his reddening hand to his chest, he watches you throw yourself to the side and press your back tight to the wall. And there's a few tense moments of silence as the two of you merely stay frozen, carefully watching the other.

"S-sorry." You break through the tense atmosphere quietly, relaxing slowly against the wall as Taehyung eyes you carefully for a moment before gradually crouching down a few feet from you. And you don't blame his hesitance, positive he's waiting for you to lash out and slap him again, but you merely chew on your lower lip as he frowns down at you.

"Did I give you a fright?" At your nod, he wraps his arms around his knees carefully, fully squatting down in front of you now. "I'm sorry, I was worried something was wrong, you were all hunched over staring into the corner."

"I, uh," you glance back towards the stairwell exit doorway, finding the door as it is usually - closed and flush to the frame, and instantly think better than to admit your crazy sounding reality. "I dropped my key, was just trying to spot it on the floor and got, um, distracted."

Waving said item around in the air, you quickly push yourself back up onto your feet even as your legs shake a little more than you'd like from the fear, and the added pressure of being crouched so awkwardly for longer than you'd initially thought. Taehyung stands as you do, grunting a little as one of his knees clicks quietly back into place, and before you can ask what he'd been out here for, he retrieves his lost item from the floor a few feet away.

"I was just coming over to give you this back. The roof's officially fixed now, maintenance guy just left, no more mini indoor swimming pool!" In his hands is the bucket you'd lent him almost two weeks ago, still in perfect condition, and you hope he doesn't notice the way your hand shakes as you reach out to accept it, gaze lingering on the tightly shut door at the end of the hall.

“What a shame!” Distantly, you wonder if he notices how fake your smile and laughter is.

__________

Squinting, you watch for a few seconds through the peephole as Jimin looks down at his feet, running the fingers of his right hand through the tousled strands of hair falling over his forehead while the plastic of the bag of takeaway in his hand crinkles quietly.

"Hey." He greets you quietly when you open the door, and you mumble the same back to him as he shuffles closer to the doorframe, the bag sounding again as he fidgets with the handles in his palm. "I brought your favourite."

Jimin lifts the bag up to his waist with a lopsided smile as though you hadn't already noticed it in his hand, and you let the corner of your mouth tilt upwards as you step back to make space for his entry. He beelines straight for the kitchen, and the sound of your door beeping shut is loud in the quiet that sits between the two of you. The sound of plates being set onto the counter is even louder when you pull them from the cupboard, and the two of you dish up the dinner he'd brought in silence.

The tv fills the quiet as the two of you sit and start to eat, you on the lounge with your legs tucked beneath you and a pillow over your thighs balancing your plate, while Jimin settles on the floor, using the glass coffee table while the necklace he wears tinkles against the edge every now and then.

It would be a lie to say that the lack of conversation isn't at least a little bit awkward, and you're finally finished hyping yourself up to say something, apologise to Jimin, just do anything to fix the painfully tense silence, when Jimin finally speaks again.

"I'm sorry I was so inconsiderate of your boundaries. I should know better than to think you'd be comfortable being locked away like this, that wasn't respectful of your independence." You're already looking at him when he turns to meet your eyes, and your lips press together to hide the embarrassing surprised gape of your mouth.

He twists further to fully face you, pushing his empty plate away, and you drop your gaze to the scraps of food left on your own plate, pushing them around slowly with your chopsticks. You can feel your cheeks heating with an embarrassed flush as your throat closes up on the reprimand you want to give him. It's not his fault, not at all.

"I know," You jump a little in your seat at the feeling of the back of his hand brushing up against the side of your knee, and the blush intensifies. "I know I have the tendency to take things like this a little too far. But it's because I couldn't bear it if something were to happen to you, when I could be there to stop it."

"J'min." You can feel the stress of the day, the week and the month amounting together as the back of your throat gets a little more tight, and the inner corners of your eyes start to feel a little more wet. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I acted like such a child this morning."

"You didn't, _____–"

"Yes, I did. And I should know better than anyone that you're just looking out for me." Jimin immediately moves up onto the lounge as your tone gets a little thinner, and you don't stop him when he moves the plate off of your lap onto the coffee table, leaving the pillow in your lap for your fingers to dig into the fraying decorations around the edges. "I was, I was really rude. I'm r-really sorry."

The sting of your teeth splitting into the chapped skin of your lower lip is the only thing holding in the sobs as your embarrassment over your earlier petulance combines with the stress and loneliness of the past few days. The saltiness of tears mixes with the iron tang of blood on your tongue as they slowly track down your cheeks and over your lips, and your frustration surmounts at the fact that you're even crying, because you're stronger than this, truly, but–

"It's so hard." Jimin is close enough for the warmth of his body to radiate onto your skin, and when you tilt your chin down to hide your blotchy, wet face he leans in a little closer to keep his eyes on your pink nose. "This position you've been forced into, it really is. And I don't blame you in the slightest for getting frustrated at me. Hell, I would be frustrated too, you know that."

His fingertips are so very warm when they graze across your damp cheek in an attempt to brush your hair back behind your ear, and you can feel a couple strands stick to the moisture before his thumb swipes them back. His hand doesn't move from there though, the digit continuing it's path across your cheekbone before landing on your right ear, and your body feels the urge to shudder when he massages the lobe gently between his thumb and the side of his forefinger.

Your neck loosens up instantly, head dropping a little into his palm as he continues the motion, and you don't fail to notice the soft smile that breaks across his cheeks, an old, gentle, familiar warmth in his eyes that you can't help but start to lose yourself in. Distantly, you notice the tears slowing until they're little more than a dryness under your eyes, which grow heavier with each circle of his thumb on your ear.

"You've been so strong, but it's okay to be a little bit scared sometimes, baby."

Seconds tick by in silence, nothing but the sound of the two of you breathing the same air as you both sit as still as can be. Your bent legs had at some point dropped to the side to rest against the thickness of Jimin's thigh and you'd relaxed far enough into the offered warmth of his embrace that your side is now pressed against him.

Slowly, desperate not break the moment, Jimin lifts his free hand to cup the other side of your jaw, and you find it a little hard to breathe as his face gets even closer to yours, the light from the lamp beside you shining on the pretty curve of his cheekbone and illuminating the deep v of his cupids bow dimpling his upper lip.

You'd spent more nights than you could remember, imagining what it would be like to press your lips to his just one more time. And to come so close in this moment, with the still very possible chance that you still wouldn't get to feel the plush softness of them again, well; if you weren't crying before, you certainly might after–

Jimin's lips brush over yours softer than a rose petal could be brushed by the wind, and your fingers instantly clutch at whatever available fabric they can grip between the buttons lining his sternum. The hand he'd been gripping the soft flesh of your earlobe with drops and catches your fingers in his as they tremble against his chest, and for a few seconds his digits merely play with yours as he waits for you to react.

You surge up against him with a muffled gasp, lips overshooting and pressing to the corner of his mouth before he tilts his head and rights you with a gentle tug against your chin. He doesn't waver, strong and balanced even as you press yourself against him, and all at once the taste of lips is turning salty again as tears start to fall uncontrollably from your eyes to wet both your cheeks and his.

He doesn't let you rush the kiss, controlling the pace with firm, guiding presses of his lips, and you fall into speed with him as he slowly tilts you back against the couch with a gentle sigh through his nose that tickles your cheek. Jimin releases your hand that he'd braced against his chest to cup the other side of your jaw once again, and when your head meets the back of the lounge finally, he lets the warm digits stroke gently down the sides of your neck until his pinky fingers rest in the divots of your collarbones.

You can't breathe, lungs malfunctioning in the ecstasy that Jimin has so effortlessly injected directly into your bloodstream, and just as you're starting to go lightheaded, there's a low buzz that vibrates dully against the underside of your legs. And for a few silent moments you ignore it, sucking on the plump flesh of Jimin's lower lip and feeling the way he instantly goes to chase your own with his teeth out of habit.

But then his hand drops to his side and jerks against his hip until the vibrating device is free of the fabric of his slacks, and he barely glances at the screen as he pulls his lips from yours with a quiet groan, forehead landing on yours gently.

You're almost embarrassed to note how heavy you're breathing, let alone how tightly your leg had slipped up around Jimin's hip in the few seconds you'd been tangled together, and when you turn your head to the side so as not to breath directly against the receiver, he presses his nose into the soft fleshy part of your cheek.

"Park, speaking." He stops breathing to swallow, holding in the panting breath he wants to take but unable to hide the powerful hammering of his heart where its pressed to yours. You can hear the faintest of conversation on the other end of the line, letting Jimin nuzzle his nose against your cheek while your lashes flutter, and he hums every now and then in agreement or to show he's listening to the person on the line. "Okay, yes. I'll be in soon."

The disappointment must be clear on your face as he hangs up the phone and sits back in his original seat once more, wide smile spreading across his face as he slips the device back in his pocket and stands.

"I've been summoned, sweetheart." He bends just far enough to catch your hand in his, tugging on the limb until you put your shaky legs beneath you and push yourself up to standing just to be close to him once again. Jimin holds your hand all the way up until he reaches the door, thumb running back and forth across your knuckles gently, and you feel your stomach flutter like butterfly wings trapped in a glass jar even as your heart aches to see him leave again so suddenly.

"I'll...I'll see you, tomorrow?" He turns to face you again, car keys tinkling in his hand as he pulls them from his pocket, and he nods gently with another smile. A few seconds pass between you, your hands still in his but the rest of your body stiff with insecurity on how to approach this situation. But Jimin beats you to the punch, leaning down and pressing his lips ever so softly against the corner of your mouth for just long enough to have you melt against him, and stumble when he finally pulls back.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he confirms, stroking from your hand up your arm and then back down again until he can tickle his fingers against the palm of your hand one last time before turning and unlocking the door. "Sleep well, sweetheart."

"I will." You call to him as he begins making his way down the hall, unable to help yourself as you lean against the doorframe in order to watch his departure. And not even the bright grin he gives you as he turns around in the elevator is enough to deter you, only the sight of the metal doors reflecting with a hazy blur finally sending you back into your apartment with a gentle sigh.

__________

The sound of crinkling plastic bags is loud when you duck your head through the back door of Jimin's car, reaching as far as you can to retrieve the groceries pushed further across the seat with a groan. But you don't get very far before the door on the other side is clicking open, the view of Jimin's shiny belt buckle burning bright in front of your eyes before he leans down himself and starts to group a bunch of bags on his hands.

He doesn't seem to notice the way your cheeks instantly began to burn, only glancing up at you when you stop moving with a curious gaze, and you quickly move to grab the rest of your things and step back out of the car before he catches on. It's a little hard to close the door with your hand, given how many bag handles you've managed to squeeze into your grip, but within seconds Jimin is by your side, pushing the door shut with his free hand before quickly snagging a few bags from yours despite your quiet refusal.

The mood during your quiet afternoon of shopping had been...good. Neither of you had mentioned the kiss last night, nor had Jimin instigated a second embrace between the two of you, and it had come to the point of you wondering whether it was ever going to be acknowledged.

When thinking back on it last night after he'd left, you could only truly hope that such a thing would not impact his interactions with you negatively, unable to bear the idea that he could draw back from you at such a point within which you needed his companionship and support more than ever. But as one could only expect Jimin sensed your insecurity upon arriving at your apartment that morning faster than you might've hoped, and seemed to silently reassure you with a gentle touch to your arm when helping you into his car.

And even now he's more than happy to urge you closer to his side when another tenant steps on behind the two of you in the elevator, stepping forward to press the door close button and effectively blocking the space between you and the young man with effortless ease. It's almost awkwardly silent in the metal box, the whirring of the machinery operating the contraption broken apart only by the light crinkling of the bags in your hands and the gentle tap of a foot every now and then.

You unintentionally meet the gaze of the young stranger a few times, catching his eyes as he periodically lifts his eyes from his shoes to flit between Jimin and yourself. There's something about him, the almost bright shine of his eyes contrasting strangely with his hard set jaw, and for a few beats he returns your stare, eyes dark and almost...empty, when he glances at the back of Jimin’s head.

And you know his face, you could swear it. You feel as though you've seen him somewhere before, only...younger. Maybe? His name flickers like a dying torch in your mind, sat right on the tip of your tongue as you forget general decency and hold his stare for what is quickly growing longer than what most would deem appropriate. You could swear you know it, something familiar, something easy to remember, something that quickly starts to form on your tongue as–

"J–"

Ding!

The elevator doors open, and the stranger drops your eyes to quickly rush out into the open hallway, making a beeline for the end as you blink the dryness from your eyes and watch as his retreating back is slowly covered by the silver metal of the doors once more, and you're broken from the moment completely by Jimin's arm gently nudging your own.

"You okay?" He doesn't seem to notice the way you've followed the boy with your eyes so intently, only having his attention caught by the stuttered noise you'd made as he leans over to close the doors again, and you nod distractedly. The thought from before is gone, mind empty once more without the visual of his face to look upon for familiarity, and you feel almost numb once again as the doors open on your floor and Jimin regathers the bags he'd set down and lifts them with a small grunt.

The two of you file out of the elevator in silence, footfalls echoing off the walls as you approach your apartment, and Jimin lags behind you in order to leave you space to unlock the door, and you struggle for a few moments to balance the bags in one hand. You're about to set them down with a cuss of frustration when the door of the apartment beside yours with a chime and Taehyung steps out.

You don't exactly know why you pause, perhaps just the habit of greeting him each time you pass, but you inadvertently wait for him to turn and finally notice you before you speak.

"Hey, Tae." A wide smile automatically spreads across his lips, and he steps closer to you quickly and moves to pull the shopping bags out of your hands. You fluster for a moment, holding onto the handles tightly before conceding and letting him hold them, and for a few seconds you stand there blankly before remembering yourself and turning to look back at Jimin as your hand fishes the key card out of your purse.

Dark. His eyes are glaring daggers into Taehyung even as the other boy fails to notice him right away, and the movement of your head pulls his attention just in time as Taehyung finally glances up and instantly stiffens. "Hey, how are yo–Oh."

"Hello." Jimin thankfully relaxes his face into a more neutral expression, but you know him too well to not catch the tick of his jaw and the strain in his neck as he automatically stretches his shoulders out and straightens his spine in an attempt to make himself seem bigger.

"Hi." Taehyung is no better, lifting his chin and looking down his nose to emphasise how much taller he is than Jimin. And though it's only a few inches, you can see the way Jimin's nostrils flare in retaliation, eyes flashing, and you look between the two for a few silent moments with your hand hovering in mid air.

"Uh..." The two take absolutely no notice of your head turning back and forth to look between them and you finally end up swiping your key card with a sigh, letting the chime of your security system break the tension. One last glance back as you cross the threshold into your apartment at the two has you watching the standoff as they vie for the position of last to enter the apartment, and you roll your eyes as neither of them move an inch.

Something seems to finally break the air, perhaps the silent, worried frustration rolling off you in waves, and Taehyung turns to return your gaze as he comes to his senses and steps into your apartment. Jimin watches him carefully as he crosses the room and sets your groceries onto the kitchen island, following him inside a few seconds later with his gaze hard and calculating.

"So..." You can't seem to think of anything to say, standing stiffly at your kitchen counter as Taehyung and Jimin continue to glance at each other in tandem, and after watching them awkwardly, you grasp at frayed strings in an attempt to break the heavy mood settling over your apartment.

You've dealt with enough drama lately, and you'd really rather not have this add onto your ever growing mountain of stress.

"What are you getting up to today?" Taehyung turns to look at you, blinking slowly as he doesn't seem to fully realise you're talking to him, before jerking slightly and stammering for a response.

"Uh, just about to head off to work, actually." You then realise the uniform shirt under his dark suede jacket, and as you nod with a quiet 'ah' of realisation, his eyes flicker between you and Jimin once more. "What have...you guys been up to. You're not at work like normal?"

"Oh, I've...had a few days off, ha. Just been...relaxing, and stuff." Taehyung's eyebrows almost disappear under the hair covering his forehead, and you barely seem to hide your cringe as he chuckles in surprise.

"You've got to be one of the most consistently working people I've ever met. Never heard of you taking time off work before." He chances a glance at Jimin, and you follow him to see Jimin still standing stoic at the end of the breakfast bar, only looking back at your neighbour when he speaks again. "Is everything...okay? I know sometimes you've mentioned things getting a bit too rough, has that happened again? Are you having those nightmares again?"

"Oh, I–" You look back at Jimin in shock at Taehyung's words, surprised at the fact he'd remembered something you'd only have mentioned in passing, and you chew on your lower lip as Jimin's chin drops to have him aggressively shoot laser beams at the bag in front of him, jaw clenched. "No. No, I've been okay."

"Are you sure? You've been really quiet the past few days, and don't think I don't notice the bags under your eyes. You really do look tired, _____." He frowns, head tilting to the side as he leans slightly towards you over the breakfast bar, and though he's a good almost two metres away, it's habit that has you leaning away a little. "Does the fact you're not going to work have anything to do with the undercover police your friend here has downstairs?"

Your eyes almost bulge out of your head. "Taehyung–"

"That's a matter well out of your jurisdiction." Jimin's tone almost has shivers running up your spine. It's a bass monotone that slides over your skin like thorns on a flowerless rose bush, prickling at every pore until your flesh is crawling with invisible bugs, regardless of the fact you're not technically on the receiving end. "I can assure you, this matter is of no importance to the likes of you."

Taehyung's own eyes flare with a spark that you've never seen before, and to watch as the usually brightly smiling boy's gaze turns into that akin of a snake preparing to strike, your body starts to grow cold.

"I live in this building too." He looks down his nose at Jimin again, and you can see Jimin's fist ball up under the cover of the counter where Taehyung cannot see. "I don't think it is up to you to decide what is, and what is not my business in regards to my home, and my friend."

"I–" The two boys blatantly ignore you, and you step forward slightly.

"I have a badge in my pocket that I'm fairly sure gives me every right to deem what is and isn't your business in regards to events that involve law enforcement." Jimin's had shifts to touch said pocket gently, and it's then you notice the holster on his hip and the shining handcuffs tucked in beside his firearm. "And if you forget that I'm happy to remind you."

"Oh, I don't doubt that." Your eyes flicker back to watch Taehyung as he leans back again, crossing his arms and pushing his shoulders back to emphasise how broad he is, and for a few short moments you half expect the two men to rip off their shirts and start wrestling like a pair of gorillas. "I've heard enough about you to know how important your badge is–"

"Okay!" You finally crack, no longer comfortable being a bystander in your own kitchen as the two become more intent on working the other up, and then they finally turn to look at you. Their eyes are still echoing the thunderous moods lying within, and you feel unsteady on your feet as you attempt to find a common ground in order to alleviate the situation. Or rather, a common ground between the two men who seem to be waiting for your decision on who should stay and who should go.

Jimin watches you carefully, eyes flickering between you and the other male as the heat within his eyes starts to diminish and an almost worried, apologetic expression starts to form on his face. And though you know there is every reason to be just as frustrated at his attitude as you are at Taehyungs, the idea of watching him walk out of your apartment has you aching in your chest. "I think it's time I unpack this food and Tae...I'd hate for you to be late to work, I think you should...go."

He blinks at you for a few seconds, eyes growing cold as he almost waits for you to turn and address the male opposite him, but at the following silence he seems to understand Jimin is the one you're inviting to stay, and his crooked smile turns bittersweet.

"You're right, I should go." Your teeth find your bottom lip as he trades one ore glare with Jimin before quickly turning on his heel and marching towards your door faster than you can catch up with, and you find you almost have to jog to beat the door clicking shut again as he slips through it smoothly.

"H-Have a good night at work-–oh!" You call to him as you catch the door and peek out of the gap, almost jerking back with a gasp as you come face to face with him quite suddenly. He's come to a short stop just outside the threshold of your apartment, and you're only centimetres from having run into him.

Silently, he turns and looks down at you, eyes wistful as he glances back behind you into your apartment and then back again, and the tension that lingers cold in the air is a clear sign Jimin is unmoving, watching the two of you very closely. Wordlessly, Taehyung lifts a hand into the air, letting it hover between you as he seems to consider very carefully his own actions, before dropping it back to his side with a sigh, and you feel your brows draw together in a frown, heart strings tugging at the sadness in his eyes.

You never meant for this to happen, never wanted to be put into this situation where you'd have to choose between them s irrevocably. But the world has a very cruel way of bringing you back down to earth right when you think you're getting lucky.

"See you around, _____." He takes a step, just out of Jimin's line of sight, but keeps his eyes on you for another painful moment. But then he's turning again, and before you know it he's down the hall and disappearing into the elevator, gone in mere seconds.

When you finally close the door and turn back to face Jimin, he's already rustling amongst the various bags covering the counter, pulling the items free and placing them neatly on the bench for you to sort and put away, and you almost feel numb as you cross the space between you and start to gather the cold foods into your hands. A few minutes pass this way, you sorting the foodstuffs between the fridge and the pantry, walking back and forth the space as Jimin finishes emptying bags, and when he's finally done he leans against the counter with a sigh and turns to watch you.

"I'm sorry." You blink at him in surprise, almost dropping the packet of sugar in your hands as you watch him frown down at his feet before pushing off the counter to approach you. "That was unnecessary and...immature. There was no reason to treat your friend that way."

"Jimin..." You sigh, lifting the packet up and putting it on one of the higher shelves before letting the pantry door close with a muted thud. "It doesn't matter now. Besides..." you turn to him, crossing your arms over your chest as you lean back against the wood, "you didn't do it on your own."

He's quiet for a few moments, watching you as you frown a little harder with your eyes on the front door before you finally look at him. And when he speaks again his tone is a lot lower, an unspoken emotion that you can't quite pick colouring it in a way that makes him sounds almost a little sad. "He likes you."

"Does he?" There's no real question in your voice, far closer to a statement, and it makes Jimin wince.

"It's selfish of me to act upon jealousy that I have no right to exercise." You feel a twinge of heartache at his words, unsure of what exactly he's trying to imply, and you can feel it reflected in your expression. "He could make you happy."

"Jimin–" You're reaching out to him, hand catching his as you step into his space, chest tight with the need to hold him, reassure him and keep him close.

But you don't get close enough before he jerks back and pulls away from you, hand torn from yours as he turns to seek the phone on the counter that has started to ring obnoxiously loud, and he answers the call with a few taps on the screen, background noise filling the air as he switches it to loudspeaker.

"This is Park."

"Jimin." You've come to recognise the sound of Detective Jung's voice easily, and the breathless way he calls his name instantly has you on edge. "There's been another find. Two this time, fucked up real bad compared to the others. But the sick fuck seems to be getting sloppy, there's a bit more cctv in this building and the surrounds. I'm organising that to be reviewed for any clues now."

"You're on loudspeaker. Where?" Jimin doesn't look at you as you instantly draw closer, furrowed eyes set on his phone as he picks up the device and awaits his partners information, but he does lift on hand to place on your arm, keeping you at a distance as well as maintaining gentle contact in order to keep you calm.

"Three blocks out." Three blocks? From where? Your blood runs cold through your veins, and you stiffen instantly.

You open your mouth to question him, but Jimin beats you to the punch, fingers twitching on your arm as he fights the urge to pull you closer at your physical shudder of fear.

"You're on scene?" His jaw ticks as he pats his pockets, checking his belongings, and you start to grow nervous at the realisation he's preparing to leave you already upon his partners affirmation. "I can be there in five."

"That's not all." Your eyes are wide as you set them back on the phone, and Jimin freezes in place as he awaits the next few words just as tensely as you. "He's left us a message this time. Real loud and clear."

"What is it?" You speak up this time, and it takes Hoseok a few seconds to reply, more than likely unsure if he should respond to you, but when Jimin calls his name as consent for him to tell you, he gives a sigh that comes through painfully loud in the speaker.

"Blood. On the walls. Says..." He pauses, a rustle and a few footsteps breaking the silence as he seems to move about before coming to a pause. "Says, you're next, 'Min. He wants you to leave her alone, or he'll 'take matters into his own hands'."

"Not if I take them into my own first." Jimin quickly turns furious, eyes alight with it when he sets them on you, and within seconds he's ripped the phone off the counter and pulled it up to his ear. "See you in five."

"J'min–" He hangs up the call and quickly pulls you close, no sign of his earlier guilt over his selfishness as he takes a hold of your face and presses his lips tightly to yours.

You don't realise how quickly you're breathing, gasping in panic as the familiar terror starts to set in again, but your lungs quickly start to burn as he takes away your source of air with a searing kiss. He doesn't move his lips, doesn't try to deepen it nor does he let you do so. Jimin merely holds his plush lips to yours until you're both red in the cheeks and gasping for air when he pulls away, and he rests his forehead against yours while you clutch at his shoulders to keep him close.

"Nothing he will ever do or say will keep me away from you, do you understand me?" You're blubbering, eyes starting to bud with moisture and throat thick with emotion as you let your eyes fall closed. "I don't care what length's he goes to. He's never going to keep you away from me, baby."

"You're gonna g-get hurt, J'min." You're sagging against him, body weight pulling him down as you try to keep him close just a little longer, but as you grow a little too weak in the knees, he reaches down and hooks an arm under your legs, pulling you up and into his arms before crossing the room and setting you down on the lounge gently. "P-Please, I don't–I can't let you get hurt because of me."

"Don't you dare ask that of me." He cups your face with both hands as you try to turn and bury your wet cheeks into the pillow beside you, and you blink up at him slowly, vision still blurry with tears regardless of how much are falling from your chin. "Don't you dare."

It's your forehead his lips find this time, brushing against the skin before pressing once, twice, three times, and then he rests his head onto yours and holds you tight as you shake against him.

"I have to go." The pain is clear in his eyes as your sobs grow even louder, echoing in the silence of your apartment without the tv or pillow to muffle it, but you know that he's right. And so you pull yourself together a little, dialling your cries down into sniffles as he caresses your cheeks one last time before standing from the couch and leaning down one last time to press a kiss to the crown of your head. "I'll come back in a few hours okay? I'll come back to you baby, it'll all be okay."

At your nod, he finally makes his way from your apartment, sadness in his gaze as he looks over your puffy eyes and pink cheeks one last time before disappearing through the door with the chime of the security system activating. And you find yourself so numb with the fear that you could truly never see him again, that you're unable to move from the spot you've curled up in, and within the hour your fear has drained you of all energy, and your eyes grow too heavy to keep open as the sun quickly sets.

You awaken with a jerk however, into the pitch black darkness of your apartment. The blinds had still been closed that afternoon, stopping the beaming bright afternoon sun, and leaving your living room darker than midnight as the lights of the city were completely blocked out. It takes you a few seconds to realise what it was that had ripped you from sleep, the silence keeping you confused as you numbly wonder if you'd been having a nightmare, but then you hear it again, the chime of your front door as the wood clicks closed, and your security system re-activates.

Warm grows in your chest at Jimin's return, and you stretch out your legs from where they'd been tucked up close to your body as you await the call of your name or perhaps the familiar clicking of his shoes as he crosses your entryway to return to where he'd left you.

But like the night shadows drown the sun's light, the warmth quickly freezes over into chilling terror as a dark silhouette moves across the room silently, not a sound following his gentle footsteps as he passes you between you and the only light in the room. The blue glow of the charger dock sitting on the table against the far wall casting an eerie glow over his form, and just as terrifyingly outlining the fact that his height is a good head taller, and his shoulders are a decent few inches wider than they should be.

And as he makes his way far to confidently towards the hallway leading to your room, and that eerie blue light glints off a large silver shape in his hand, you come to the tearful conclusion that you're right.

Jimin did not just enter your apartment.

And you have no idea who did.

[theinquisitivej]

SteamHeart Episode 15 Reactions

Chapter Fifteen: A Short Cut to…

You can listen to the full episode here.

James approaches a lake where Raven sits nearby. His manner of walking into the lake and submerging himself in the water instead of taking the clothes off to wash them by hand is a little unusual, but foreshadows what James will be doing later on in the chapter; he is immersing himself in an element, or environment, or whatever you would call the cosmic and ethereal place his mind takes him to later on, and that element renders him weightless. It’s a very different sensation to walking on solid ground through familiar air. James coming out of the water and sitting next to Raven as he drips potentially alludes to him coming down after his experience, as he’s returned to Earth, but remnants of the space that he was just immersed in still cling to him, running off of him as either drops of water, or impressions of ideas and abstract concepts.

         James begins a conversation with an initially unresponsive Raven, sharing his hypothesis that he might be able to understand and make better use of his Endowment if he reaches the correct mental and/or spiritual state. James eventually gets to what he had come here to ask Raven, which is whether he knows any Native American shamans who might be experienced in guiding people through spiritual matters. James usually speaks very quickly, as he is often voicing his thoughts at the same rapid rate that his mind processes them. At this point of the conversation with Raven, however, he says each word with an uncertain and apologetic pause –  he doesn’t want to make unfounded assumptions about Native American culture and cause offense, but he also wants to explore every potential avenue that could help further their mission. James places a lot of importance in the act of making progress, but he’s not so narrowly focused on that that he loses perspective and doesn’t take these things into consideration and display genuine signs of internal conflict at approaching Raven to ask him this.

         Raven realises that this was Arlington’s hidden motive for including him on this mission. He didn’t just want him there to document this journey, he knew that Raven was a shaman and had placed him next to James and Abigail in the hopes that this would lead to more progress in understanding their Endowment. After venting his frustrations over this, James admits that he had suspected this but did not want to presume, but, in any case, this is most fortunate. The exchange that follows is one of the first glimpses we were given of SteamHeart after The Princess Thieves had wrapped up. James asks if Raven will teach him to better understand the power inside him, Raven says he will and feigns a dramatic revelation that James is “the child of the prophecy!”, which James momentarily believes and asks if that’s true, to which Raven irritably responds “No!”, scoffs, and calls James a jackass. It’s a delightful and memorable excerpt that charms you into wanting to see more characterful interactions like this, and conveys the playful irreverence this series and the author has towards ‘Chosen One’ narratives which have become rather tiring in recent years.

         They continue their conversation as Raven turns the idea over in his head. He doesn’t have a high opinion of his own abilities as a shaman, meaning there’s only so much he can help James and Abigail. This is a wise development, as it stops Raven from being the all-knowing mystic minority, as he’s informed enough about this aspect of his culture that he can lend perspective, but his ethnicity doesn’t mean he’s fully versed in every part of Native American culture. Still, he may be out of his depth when it comes to offering spiritual guidance on a matter that none of them have any familiarity with, but he knows that this is important enough that he should nevertheless try. He suggests they either wait until they find a shaman who’s more suited to this, or they try some mushrooms he’s got in his bag that might help James and Abigail tap into whatever it is they need to tap into. In Raven’s words, “they’ll get you pretty fucked up”.

          That afternoon, James makes his case to Annie, who is firmly opposed to the idea. Her remark that she’s aware of the dangers of eating mushrooms from the forest reminds us of Annie’s extensive familiarity with woodland environments that we saw in Chapter Eleven. She asks Raven for more information, and he shows her the bag of mushrooms, which he points out was fuller when he first acquired them, which is Raven’s way or assuring her that he’s taken a fair few of these himself and they didn’t kill him. They are Teonanácatl, “flesh of the Gods”, and Raven claims they will bring things which are locked away to the surface. This is perhaps why this is the chapter where James tells the rest of the group about their past with Lucy. Annie asks if it can hurt them, and Raven says truthfully that it might make them sick, or even overwhelm their senses, which, given the uncertain nature of what it is that James and Abigail’s new eyes allow them to “sense”, could be so overpowering that it results in a deep trauma that stays with them. Annie eventually relents, and when Abigail approaches the group as they discuss this, she’s told what it is they’re planning to do, which she takes on board relatively quickly and without much objection, apart from pointing out that this could lead to them inadvertently opening up more portals. James admits that he’s half-hoping that this is exactly what happens, because at least then they’ll know. It seems that James is growing increasingly perturbed at his lack of progress with this Endowment, and wants some proof that he’s gained something from losing one of his eyes, even if something disastrous has to happen for him to get this proof.

         Most of the rest of the episode is a series of recordings of their experiment with the Teonanácatl that evening. James and Abigail are sat besides a campfire with Annie, Butler, and Raven, and the atmospheric sounds of the fire and the night-time chirps of the unseen animals inhabiting the deserted countryside make this an engaging sensory experience.

         At 10:20, the effects begin to show themselves, with the light of the fire looking particularly intense to Abigail, and, from the sounds of James’ low mumbles of agreement, I’d wager he’s experiencing something similar. This would be what Raven was talking about when he mentioned the mushrooms overwhelming the senses, as they seem to make everything more pronounced. Abigail’s mention of “much brighter spots shining out of the darkness” makes me think of stars and the other worlds out there represented by the lights that her Endowed eye can see.

         At 10:30, James notes some geometric shapes in the air, believing them to be significant. If the mushrooms do indeed help people reach a deeper understanding of the universe around them, then perhaps this is James’ mathematical brain breaking down his surroundings to their most elemental, fundamental shapes which act as building blocks for the universe. Abigail, meanwhile, is seeing the stars even more brightly. She has been able to see lights through her starlit eye more easily than James, so it makes sense that these lights would be especially dazzling for her. Though James does tell her that he sees them too – maybe he’s able to see what she sees through her, through the perspective she brings to his life. Abigail wants “to grow things”, hinting at her recent thoughts on the natural world that she reflected on in Chapter Fourteen.

         At 10:40, James has taken off his eyepatch, giving his starlit eye the chance to take in whatever it can see and surrendering himself to his senses. His words begin to fail him as he loses the thread of what he was describing, a rare thing for James. He is blown away by the uncountable number of edges, corners, and borders of the shapes around him, as is Abigail by the millions of connections she feels to other people. The picture this paints is similar to how Cerebro is sometimes depicted in X-Men media, with countless lights infinitely reflected and refracted, with each one representing another living person that you can connect with. Both Abigail and James touch on the idea of their world being linked with multiple worlds they don’t even know about, whether it’s the notion that “we can feel all the other directions, we just can’t name them”, or Abigail’s remark that “we think we’re alone in all of this, but we’re together … always”. For as often as Abigail brings up her difficulties with social interaction, her soul reaches out to form relationships with so many people, from James, to Lucy, to Tabitha, to Annie, to Harry, to her parents, and to any number of people she might meet in the future. In this moment, Abigail understands just how connected they all are with one another.

         At 10:50, Abigail tells James that she’s in love with him. She says she was afraid to tell him before, and James gently tells her not to be, before telling her in a moment of honest vulnerability that he loves her too. They both know in this moment of complete clarity that they truly feel this way about one another. It’s when the weight of their past resurfaces to pull them back to Earth later on that this one unrestrained moment of love becomes an unreachable reality to them.

         After that moment of intensity, we hear James’ amusing revelations about carrots at 11:00. Meanwhile, Abigail demonstrates her compassion for others by telling Annie she loves her as well, and for a moment, she seems to have plans to tell Harry the same thing. Butler agrees with her comments about Annie being beautiful, but cuts Abigail short after she mentions kissing Annie on the lips, perhaps less so to do with being concerned about his wife being kissed by another person and more to do with making sure that the recording doesn’t pick up anything that Abigail might regret having said later. James talks about seeing through the world, like seeing a window pane, with the people of the world leaving faint finger prints on the glass. But James can only see them, he can’t interact with them (the Cerebro parallels grow stronger). In a note of dejected resignation, James says “it’s not going to happen”, and the recording ends. He could be talking about how this experiment won’t help him tap into his powers, or how the mission isn’t going to succeed, or that humanity isn’t going to make it through this, or all of that at once. Whatever the case, we’re hearing James feel truly feels powerless in this moment.

         An hour later, at midnight, we overhear parts of Abigail’s conversation with an unseen figure. As soon as she says “if you’re so wise”, I had an inkling that she had somehow established a connection with Merlaine from The Princess Thieves. Abigail mentions the impossibility of crossing oceans in SteamHeart, which could mean Merlaine suggested that Team Steam come to Britain to meet her there. Abigail describes Merlaine’s appearance to the rest of the group, all but confirming to fans of The Princess Thieves who this is while giving the uninitiated another mysterious aspect to this chapter. Abigail’s kind remarks to ‘M’ (which incidentally cements the mental image I have of Merlaine resembling Judi Dench) and her genuine sadness at seeing her go shows Abigail forming yet another connection. I’m both intrigued and delighted to hear M promise that they will meet again. This pleasantness is short-lived, however, as James has a sudden fit of vomiting, which sets Abigail off, and we’re treated to a combination of squelching sound effects and retching vocal noises that, quite frankly, is enough to make a queasy listener feel sick themselves. The pair are beginning to come down hard.

         Half an hour later, at 12:30, Abigail is sobbing. I’m not sure if this means she’s necessarily crying or not, but it sounds like she’s pretty tearful as her sudden fall back to Earth floods her emotions. Abigail hasn’t been able to cry for many years, so this is as close as she’s ever gotten, which is pretty significant. It emphasises just how hard she’s fallen after feeling freed from all the hardships and painful parts of life, and how impossible facing that seems after knowing what it feels like to be weightless, even if just for a little while. Raven urges Abigail to understand that the images, the illusions that she experienced which felt so real are still “constructs we make for ourselves. That freedom you felt? You bring it with you.” I think there are several ways you can take this advice or interpret it, but the way I see it, it seems that Raven is saying that the sensation she experienced when she felt weightless wasn’t an ethereal truth outside of her reach, but was instead a realisation of her way of viewing and understanding the world. The “freedom” that comes from that understanding feels so clear when you’re detached from reality, and when you come back to face the everyday hardships of life, it can be hard to hold onto that ideal understanding of what it means to be free. It’s up to you to try and take that understanding and incorporate it into how you navigate the conflicts of life and the world.

         At 12:45, we check in on James, whose grief for Lucy is resurfacing. James quietly says with shame and horror that “I killed her. Both of us did”, showing that he still blames himself for what happened, and that his and Abigail’s connection to this traumatic event still has a hold on both of them. It seems he and Abigail still believe what she said at Lucy’s funeral all those years ago, that “this will never not be our fault”. This section ends with James asking that the recording device be switched off. This is likely the moment where the two of them tell Annie and Butler about the events of Weirwood. This marks the end of the recordings documenting this experiment.

         James records his feelings the next morning in a journal entry, confirming his mournful resignation over his inability to control his Endowment and the impossibility for him and Abigail to ever move past their guilt over what happened to Lucy. He could neither talk with Abigail nor relisten to the recordings that day, the emotional collapse of the last parts of the experiment being too difficult to confront. The next day they continued with their journey, stopping at the military encampment at the edge of Columbus. We hear some details of the new geographic layout of the territories controlled by the Reunified States and those that have been granted to Seth. But none of that matters once the group reaches the telegraph centre and receive word from Washington of the deaths of Thomas and Sarah Arlington. The telegraph is read to us by a deeply shaken Truth who is forcing herself to carry on in her duties, and the episode ends with her asking Annie not to tell Harry yet.

         The epilogue turns towards M as she tells her brusque horse over breakfast about her conversation with Abigail. Their agreement that the next few months (and we know that this timescale refers to the calendar that our world is familiar with due to the deliberate inclusion of “Gregorian”) will be a period of great change builds up the anticipation for the rest of the book as well as whatever comes next, but the remark that this will affect AT LEAST five worlds gets the mind whirring. Alex Shaw has alluded to at least Ten Worlds playing an important role in New Century’s story, and, if my count and memory is correct, we only know of five worlds at this point. There’s Centrum, the world Team Steam lives in, Rama, Hrao’s purple world, Celador and Hannoth, the worlds of the Duart and Akka respectively, and Earth, the world that has been hypothesized by a few inhabitants of Centrum to be an alternate version of their world that was unaffected by the appearance of these Wind Doors to different worlds (this is more or less the world that we, the audience, inhabit). So, which of these worlds will experience great change? Is it possible that Earth will be affected as well? Are we to discover other worlds over the course of SteamHeart that will be affected by the events of the next few months? After all, we still don’t know what world the Wendigos came from – could that be one of the worlds affected? There are a lot of questions and a great deal of uncertainty lies ahead for both the audience and Team Steam.

[lonely-kitten-named-bambi-backup]

Wor(l)dsmith 2: the first encounter

Posting this because I’ve been encouraged to do so. This is a series for a friend of mine but maybe, you’ll come to enjoy it too.

____________________________________________

A soft “thank you” broke the silence, as Yoongi returned you your most prized possession. For someone who had a way with words, a simple verbal gratitude didn’t feel enough.

“err?..”

“Yoongi,” He supplied with a soft upturn of the right corner of his lip, a rarity for the raven haired man.

“Right. Yoongi, could I buy you a coffee… for you know, returning my book?” You find it difficult to look at him as you speak, still hoping the contents of your book remained private, and his gorgeous face was certainly not helping matters.

“No need to or you could save the coffee for the next time we meet.”

“Next time?”

“Next time. I know I shouldn’t have peeked but  you’re a talented writer, so I want to see what other worlds you can bring to life. ” Noticing the slight hunching of your body, he added, “That is… if you would like to. I know writing can be a very personal endeavour for some.”

Looking up and your eyes catching a hint of warmth behind the deep depths of eyes, much like the mug of black coffee his hands were nursing, you decided. “Next Week, same time, same place. That way it will give me time to draft a few ideas I have.” Your lips played with the idea of a smirk as you continued, “And don’t think you can get away from this. I want to see what’s in your book, Mister. It’s only fair.”

Turning on your heel, you didn’t catch the twinkle that matched the warmth, unspoken but accepted. The challenge would be to impress you, the wordsmith. He just hoped that raw poetry is something you could appreciate as much as he loved your frank yet inspired prose.

His beloved coffee set aside, Yoongi scrawled  words like a madman, energised and inspired by the interaction more than any rap battle he attended. More than anything, he wanted to impress you. Your short stories resonated deep inside him and he had only dreamed of meeting a kindred spirit. So he wrote until his wrist burned and screamed at him to take a break, his mind still wandering with ideas, never fully satisfied until his tale was told.

Going to bed, feelings and ideas swirled. If there’s one thing someone couldn’t dismiss about Yoongi, it was his passion. So he let the inspiration flow as drifted off, wondering how your process was going.

*********

You on the other hand were more fickle. As much as you enjoyed writing, it didn’t always come naturally. You way with words was strained at times, agonising over what to say, and that was you on a good day. Whilst you strived to write everyday and you did see an improvement, if the feeling wasn’t there, so where your stories. What Yoongi had seen was just the tip of the iceberg of your literary endeavours. Well actually just the creme de la creme, a massive pile of floundering fish lay beneath each golden treasure.

So far you had nothing, and whilst you had a week, you knew just how strained your relationship with pen and paper could be.

So to say you were bricking it would be an understatement. It was a these times that you curled up in bed and read, hoping to find something in others that you wished to emulate. Frankly, you were looking for guidance, inspiration and aspiration. As much as others may enjoy your work, you were never truly satisfied. The hunger for that perfectly painted world, for your words to not only transport but emote the tale behind your tale was never met. You wondered if it ever would. The indents of the pages, the slightly worn spine and your callous middle finger, from how you gripped your pen so tightly, could attest… You wouldn’t give up. You lived for semantics, for imaginary worlds. Something to escape the cruelty of this one.

Sleep came dreamless and quite restless, leaving you less refreshed then you would have wanted. The fluttering of your lids and the calling of your bed just oh so tempting. If anyone questioned why you weren’t sprightly, they could frankly fuck off. It was one of those days. You’d been having them more and more recently, hence the coffee and Yoongi…

Oh, if only he knew you struggled. He must be expecting a masterpiece. What had you signed yourself up for?

********

Spending your day, writing and rewriting. Draft after draft of unsatisfactory works was doing nothing to settle your nerves. It was slowly driving you to breaking point and with one last sigh, you moved from your desk, needing to get away from it all.

Eyes bleary and headache forming, you rubbed your temples, whilst finding your favourite jacket. You hoped a walk around the town would settle your nerves, calm you down, maybe even help you drift off.

Moonlight your companion, you pounded the pavement, letting the cold air provide clarity to your thoughts, stimulating others also. At the very least, it got your blood pumping, allowing you to feel something, if only for a little while.

As you continued with your aimless path, you could hear a rumble in the distance. Like thunder, the sound called you, excited you, maybe even frightened you. Yet you were compelled to follow it. Standing by the doors of an abandoned warehouse, illuminated from within, the sound eminating from within too. You had to go. Just to check it out, you said yo yourself. If you didn’t like it, you would head back home immediately.

Stepping inside, by the looks of the environment, you figured tonight was one of the fixtures of the underground rap scene. It wasn’t your cup of tea, but your gut feeling was to stay. Not wanting to waste your little detour, you decided you’d stay, for one song. Just one song.

Your internal monologue was broken when the Master of Ceremonies announced that a another person, Augst D was going to perform next. You wondered if you heard him correctly, wondering why such a name was chosen. You figured it had a meaning to it, but it eluded you, this side of nightlight being novel to you. You didn’t know what you expected from such a name, from such a place, yet something began to bubble up.. Your body so tightly wounded that you wondered when it would bend and break.

And then a familiar gravel resonated through the space. You couldn’t pin where you recognised it from but it was more then pleasant. The rasp, the growl, the raw emotion and fire took hold of you. Left entranced, your eyes never left. A snapback covering his face, the shadow cresting an mystery that only enticed you more. But you could see how the sweat glistened in the florescent light, adding a beauty to the determination and passion in his performance.

And then as he finished, the room thundered with fans chanting, feeding of the hype, when you were just blown away by the story, the pain, the emotion. Everyone realised we was a gem, a true diamond in the rough, but they were missing out on how that roughness made him special, made him just so captivating.

And then he turned his hat around, the beak of the cap behind his head. The mystery revealed and you froze. You wondered whether the floor shaking with vibrations or was it you. Stood in front of you was Yoongi, gaze locked on yours. The warm coffee you knew before replaced by scorched earth. His lips no longer playing with the idea of a smirk, it was prominent now. Chest still heaving a little from the excursion, he mouthed the word “sneaky”. A little bit of light teasing, hoping that you would respond to just as well next week.

[yminie]

curiosity | namkook

pairing: Jeongguk x Reader, Namjoon x Reader, mild Namjoon x Jeongguk. genre/warnings: threesome, Dom!Namjoon, Switch!Jeongguk, Sub!Reader, overuse of names lol(threesomes are tricky ok), daddy!kink, rough sex, rough blowjob, intense choking(like really...really), spanking, degradation, cumshot, orgasm denial/edging. (aka I am filth trash) words: 10.7k summary: Jeongguk’s interest is peaked by something he finds on his favourite hyungs computer, so it’s only natural for him to turn to Namjoon for guidance, right?

a/n: Happy Very Belated Birthday Steph!! @gimmesumsuga <3 Hope you enjoy this filth and I’m sorry I made you wait so long :P

The door swings open smoothly before clicking shut behind him, his feet padding quietly across the plush carpet, and Jeongguk’s eyes are focused as he searches the mostly tidy desk for Namjoon-hyung’s hard drive, his own in hand. Soon coming to realise it was already plugged into the computer, he settles into the cushioned chair with a slight groan and plugs his in beside it, fingers drumming mindlessly against the wood while he waits.

His hyung being ever so tidy with his studio computer has made it effortlessly easy to find the files that Jeongguk needs, and all the young man needs to do is double check he's got the right files and he can get straight back to his own studio. Impatient, his fingers tap against the table top again while he waits for the tracks to come through the media player, but Jeongguk quickly comes to realise the headphones beside him and slips them over his ears before clicking the ‘previous’ option and pressing play.

Scandalised, Jeongguk jumps in shock when –rather than the backing track he'd been expecting– the almost obnoxiously loud sounds of a woman crying out for a faceless man to fuck her harder assaults his senses, and his eyes stay locked in place on the screen when the video maximises from the dock to surprise him even further.

He can't help it, at least that's what he quickly tells himself, when his cock hardens at the close up of her pussy being completely destroyed by a cock much larger than any he'd ever seen before. She'd already been fucked raw and then some, voice hoarse and straining when the mans large hand curves around her delicate throat and her entire body flushed and mottled with love bites.

Jeongguk’s never heard or seen anything quite like it before, and his cock twitches again when another faceless man walks into frame and presses the dripping tip of his length against her lips, making him unconsciously lean closer to the screen, eyes blown wide and hungry.

“Having fun?” Jeongguk yelps, gasping so hard he almost gives himself hiccups, and realises one side of the headphones had been lifted from his ear. He barely pauses to glance up at his hyung, fumbling with the mouse for the X at the top corner lol the while mumbling some excuse he can't even properly formulate, cheeks ablaze.

Jeongguk’s fingers shake when he slips the headphones from his ears and gently sets them down against the desk, unable to bring himself to look at Namjoon any more than a flicker across the pattern decorating his shirt. The older is chuckling, finding an amusing endearment in the way his young friend fumbles and fidgets with embarrassment. “It's just porn, Jeongguk-ie, no need to get so worked up.”

“B-But I didn't-” He wants to confidently defend himself –he hadn't been watching on purpose, it was an accident– but he quickly comes up short when he finally meets his hyungs gaze. There's no lingering patronism or intent in his face, only an amused warmth that curves his eyes and lips and makes his dimples pop. Namjoon-ie hyung really is good looking.

“You were so focused you didn't even realise I'd lifted the headphone away. I'd even think it looked like you'd never seen people having sex before if I didn't know better.” Namjoon leans carefully against the desk beside the younger, crossing his ankles and grinning even wider at the embarrassment that flits across Jeongguk’s expression once more. Jeongguk-ie really is cute.

“I haven't seen anything like…that.” Jeongguk fumbles, looking away from his hyung and glancing at the computer screen as though the video was still open, the scene replaying in his brain against his wishes.

“Like what?” Namjoon is curious, head tilting as he leans closer before he can stop himself, getting some sick sort of pleasure in watching his dongsaeng squirm.

“So...rough. And the...more than one guy.”

“Oh? You don't fuck _____ hard like that?” Jeongguk shakes his head almost hesitantly, watching his own toes as they roll into the carpet rather than meeting Namjoon’s eyes. “Are you a little softie in bed, hm Jeongguk-ie? _____-noona’s baby boy?”

“Hyung!” The younger whines at his teasing words, cheeks burning and flush spreading further down his neck at the thought of the so clearly dominant elder knowing what his girlfriend usually does to him behind closed doors, but his shyness does nothing to deter the older boy from teasing him. Those words shouldn't sound so enticing when someone other than noona says them.

“But you liked what you saw in the video.” It's not a question, and Jeongguk shyly nods as he watches loose fibres on the carpet roll together under his foot into a little ball. “Seems like part of you wants to try it out.”

“I don't think...noona would like it.” Jeongguk cheeks are still burning, and he surprises himself while he continues the conversation, curiosity buried deep within that he can almost see the answer for in the sparkle his hyungs eyes hold.

“But you might like it. Doesn't hurt to try, Jeongguk-ie.” His tone is more good-natured than teasing now, and Jeongguk slowly relaxes enough to start moving. Standing, he forgets all about his hard drive with his muddled thoughts of your begging the way the woman in the video had, and instead bids his hyung a curt farewell, to which the older merely chuckles with a grin.

That night, your hands firm against his chest as you press him down into the mattress and ride him slowly enough to drive the both of you mad, it's still all he can think about. And although his fingers shake just a little too much to give him the confidence to grab your waist and control the pace, the desire within him changes.

He still cums when you tell him to, just as hard as you always make him, but there's the dark, dirty little place in the back of his mind that has him hearing his hyungs voice as well as yours.

__________

Namjoon jumps at the sudden rattling knock on his bedroom door, pausing to stare at the wood before sliding his laptop from his lap and sitting up straighter where he's curled on the bed. “Come in.”

“Hyung…” Jeongguk’s eyes drop to the floor the moment he passes across the threshold, and Namjoon smiles widely at the young man, endeared. “Can...can we talk?”

“Of course Jeongguk-ie, come sit.” Doing as he's told, Jeongguk hesitantly perches on the edge of the mattress, fingers twisting together in his lap as his eyes flicker and lift no higher than his chin. “What's on your mind?”

“W-When we talked last night about...stuff.” Jeongguk pauses, his cheeks tinting pink while his breathing stutters with his nerves, all serving to have his hyungs gaze warming with fond amusement.

“All of it or a particular part?” Namjoon offers, watching as the youngers fingertips threaten to further tear the knee of his jeans.

“The...more than one guy...part.” Jeongguk is relieved so see none of the judgment he'd been nervous about, only a curiosity swimming in his hyungs eyes, and it gives him the confidence to hold his gaze.

“Yes?” Namjoon leans forward slightly, chin tilting, and pretends not to notice the way his young friends eyes widen momentarily. “Have you thought about wanting to try it with someone?”

“I have thought about it w-with–” Jeongguk’s teeth dig into his lower lip and he pauses, shuffling in place while the blush that had shone over his cheeks spreads slowly even further down his neck. Namjoon watches the pink flush descend with a chuckle, raising his eyebrow curiously.

“You want my advice on how to approach Jimin or Taehyung? Or Hoseok-ie hyung?” Namjoon sees the hesitation in Jeongguk’s eyes before the younger turns them away, lips opening and closing as he collects himself with a shaky breath. “Jeongguk, it's okay. I'm not going to judge you depending on who you chose–”

“I wanted to ask you.” Namjoon freezes, eyes bulging momentarily before he controls his expression. He'd never have expected his shy younger friend to have outright approached him, truly not believing to be the puzzle piece Jeongguk might think would fit.

“Me?” He can't help himself but to ask again, chest swelling with pride at the idea, and it's for nothing more than personal gain that he wants to hear him repeat it.

“Hyung I–” Jeongguk mistakes his questioning for little more than rejecting disbelief and quickly stands to bow deeply towards the elder, his fingers looped between each other and his tangled hands pressed hard between his thighs. “I'm very sorry hyung-nim, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable or disturb you in any way. I'll do better in the future!”

Namjoon just manages to grab the boys wrist, standing from the bed himself and uncaring of the way his comforter now lays on the floor behind him. Spinning him to face each other, his other hand holds the side of the others neck, lifting Jeongguk’s shocked eyes to his with a thumb under his jaw.

“I wasn't saying no Jeongguk, you really want hyung to help you?” The younger nods, eyes somewhat glazed over just from the pressure of the elders thumb pressing into the soft giving flesh under his jawbone. Namjoon can't help his smirk. “Hyung will help you, Gguk-ie. But he needs you to do something for him too.”

His smirk grows into a full grin when Jeongguk's shiny eyes regard him questioningly, and his grip lowers to the base of his throat when the younger nods.

__________

It's the softest of lips brushing against your shoulder that pulls you from the hazy comfort of sleep, the pressure becoming more forceful as you stir and mumble, and Jeongguk lifts them to your jaw when you finally turn to face him.

Eyes lidded and barely able to see in the shadows of night that cover the room, you can only hum gently when his kisses turn to longer sucks against your skin, drifting across the expanse before encroaching onto your chin and meeting your own lips.

Your blurry vision falls black once again as your eyes slot closed, hand tangling in the short strands at Jeongguk's nape and you sigh a gentle moan when his fingers find the line of skin at the base of your spine, soothing the chill of air where your shirt had ridden up.

Just when you expect the embrace to taper off, slow down to catch your breaths and possibly snuggle down together, Jeongguk only grows more enthusiastic, squeezing the flesh of your hips tight as he leans even further over you, and your surprise at his actions paired with your lingering sleepiness means you fail to notice the extra pressure against the end of the bed.

His breathing starts to hitch, gasps escaping between the swirling of his tongue against yours, and you know he's holding back the pleading whines he usually makes when you’re press him into the mattress.

Your blood starts to boil under the surface and the haze is finally wearing off, leaving nothing but the craving to have him pinned beneath you. But as you press against him to turn him onto his back, leg finding his hip after a slight tussle beneath the comforter, you're left squeaking in shock at a very unexpected voice.

“Don't let her push you around Gguk-ie.” Your balance falters, and Jeongguk luckily manages to firmly slot his arms around your waist before you overshoot and fall off the side of the mattress. You twist in his hold, leg still awkwardly curled around his hip, and your mouth drops open at the sight that meets you.

Namjoon is at ease, back resting against the bed frame while his fingers lay loose against his thighs. You don't give his outfit much attention, but you can guess the loose sleep shorts adorning his hips weren't doing much to hide the growing evidence of his arousal, and you have to drag your eyes from the defined collarbones that poke from the neckline of his oversized sweater. He'd almost look soft if it weren't for the scorching heat his eyes held, trained confidently on you.

“What the fuck?” You're breathless, the momentary freeze of shock having had you holding your breath, and now you're almost panting as you try to cover any inch of bare skin he can see with your fingers tangled in the sheet. “What–Why're you–?”

“Hyung–I wanted hyung to help me, noona.” You want to hide the way you shiver as Jeongguk croons the words against your ear, silky soft lips parting to pull the skin of your lobe between his teeth, but you can see Namjoon’s smile growing at the way your lashes flutter.

“Oh, you wanted?” Jeongguk whines at the sharpness in your voice, pressing himself against you while he paws at your soft skin, and it's a personal struggle to the find the strength with which you push him away. “Maybe you should have asked noona what she wanted first, hm?”

“Please, noona, we’ll make you feel really good I promise!” You gaze down at the boy, trying hard to ignore the way his voice is affecting your body, but he can see your resolve growing weak. His eyes widen to a delectibily pleading look, and he sucks his lower lip between his teeth until the flesh pops back out shiny and swelling red. “I want t-to–I–”

“You can tell her, baby boy.” Your eyes bulge far enough to send a spike of pain through your head at the strain and you whip your eyes around to the older boy, jaw hanging loose as he just continues to smirk darkly at your expression.

“I want to take control, noona.” Your eyes are still on Namjoon when Jeongguk mumbles the words against your skin, and so he catches the way your eyebrow lifts and a smirk curls the the corner of your mouth.

“Take control of who exactly?” Namjoons eyes darken, and just the expression itself tells you he is not the one to be messing with, regardless of the way his lips are curved into a devious smile.

“Only you, little one.” You break the staring match before he can see the arousal spike in your gaze, and you lock eyes with Jeongguk once more, biting your lip at the way his fingers roll the flesh of your hips with his impatience.

“So you wanna take control baby?” Jeongguk whines, hips bucking slightly beneath you to show just how very much he likes the idea, and you smirk, tugging on his hair none to gently as he presses even closer to you. “Wanna fuck me however you want? Wreck noonas pussy? That's what you want?”

“Yes–please.” He can't help but choke slightly in his excitement, chest rising and falling rapidly while he fidgets beneath you, and he can't help but shudder when you chuckle darkly.

“I'd like to see you try, baby.”

True to his nature, Jeongguk loves a challenge, and you barely have a moment to process the flash of unadulterated lust that clouds his eyes before you're roughly thrown backwards, Jeongguk's body quickly covering yours as he licks into your mouth eagerly. His tongue tangles with yours, winding together until he can draw it between your lips to be caught by his teeth, and he soothes the bite with a heavy suck on the tender muscle.

Your legs are twisted between his but not for long, quickly spread and lifted until it aches and Jeongguk has easy access to your barely covered core. He's already so hard, and you can feel the moisture of your own arousal starting to leak through, making the lazy drag of his hips against yours even rougher as the fabric sticks to your skin. Your fingers tangled in the soft strands at the back of his skull are pulled away by a rough grip circling your wrists, and as Jeongguk sucks the blood into your swelling lower lip you can't help but whine as you struggle against his hold, not used to being restrained.

“Keep your hands there o-or I’ll tie them.” Jeongguk's voice is little more than a rasp, his endearing lisp intensifying with his gasping breath, and you almost chuckle, biting hard at your lip to resist the urge.

“She doesn't seem to be taking you seriously Gguk-ie. Maybe you need to show her who's boss properly, baby.” Jeongguk's hand tightens at your hip, nails biting into the skin slightly even as his fingers shake, and when you turn your amused gaze Namjoons way, he snaps.

“Don't look at him.” Another hand lifts to your chin, grabbing the soft flesh of your cheeks hard enough to have your lips pouting, and you faintly register the saliva that escapes. His eyes seem to darken even further at the moisture dribbling from the corner of your mouth, shining in the dim light as it spills onto his thumb, and you almost wince as his hold on your face tightens, gaze alight with jealousy. “Eyes on me.”

“Use her.” Jeongguk's own eyes free yours from the intensity of his glare, hand dropping from your cheeks to grasp either side of your chin again, and you watch the way his eyes only flicker to uncertainty when he lifts his gaze to his elders’. The question is swimming in his eyes, not used to having nearly this much control over you; how should he ‘use you’? “You want my help, baby boy?”

The blatant want you could see in Jeongguk's eyes for the elder boy not only surprised you but seemed to fire up your own arousal, and your hips shifted against the bed at the deep throb that had begun to settle in your core. The two of them pay you no mind, locked in a slowly intensifying stare battle, and it wasn't till Jeongguk nodded gently that Namjoon made any attempts to approach him.

Lifting himself onto his knees, he continued to ignore you as he shifted closer on the mattress to Jeongguk's side, and although he made no move to touch the younger, he'd automatically tensed up at the shortening proximity. Namjoon said nothing, face changing no more than the devious curling of his lips and your eyes widened further than before when he finally settled, eyes meeting yours over your boyfriend's shoulder as he leans just close enough for Jeongguk to feel his warmth.

“Ask me properly.” The younger gives an involuntary shiver at the feeling of his hyungs breath washing over his skin, the exposed flesh at the back of his neck just above his shirts neckline awash with goose bumps while he fights the urge to lean back against Namjoons broad chest. Even you can see the war he wages within himself as he licks his kiss-bruised lips and takes a deep breath. Jeongguk is so naturally submissive, and it makes him so fun to play with – not just for you either.

“P-Please help me–” His words cut off with a slight gasp and your eyes flit down to find the hem of his shirt slightly bunched, the tips of Namjoons fingers just lightly holding his hip, and the sudden touch has Jeongguk's hips bucking into yours slightly. You can't help but moan, the incessant aching of your core only worsening at the slightness of his pressure, and you realise it's because Namjoons hold had tightened enough to hold him back. “–Daddy.”

“Fuck, wha–” you groan, head hitting the mattress, and even through your half closed lids you can clearly see the way Jeongguk's cheeks flush so prettily with pink as his hyung presses against him. Namjoons eyes meet yours once more over the youngers shoulder, and you jump in surprise -still reeling from sound of Jeongguk's words- at the sudden grip he has on the underside of your thigh, right above the back of your knee.

Namjoons burning gaze glides from your lidded stare to the heaving of your chest under the large tee still covering your breasts, the nipples hard and pebbling through the thin white cotton. He stares at your body as though you were naked, and when his lips tilt at the sight between your legs you already know what he's found, not even needing to lift your head to see the undoubtedly wrecked state your panties must be in.

He leans in close, lips full and soft looking as he glides his tongue across the lower, and his eyes find yours again as his lips nestle against the small hoop in Jeongguk's lobe. “I think noona likes it, Gguk-ie.”

“Noona.” Jeongguk moans for you now, shameless as you feels his length pulse and throb against you, and you choke on a breath when Namjoon’s hold tightens even further and he pulls you down hard over the increasingly wrecked youngers’ hips. The drag of your crotch over his is heavy and slow, made more difficult by the fresh surge of wetness from your core, and you can feel the way you’re drenching his underwear even through his shorts. “-Hyung.”

“Does she make you ask for her permission to have her mouth, baby?” Namjoon croons into his ear again, and Jeongguk’s eyes roll back slightly, lids flickering as he attempts to control his expression. You’re hypnotised, eyes watching the way his earring trembles under the slight pressure of Namjoon’s lips, teeth peeking through his grin enough to have you waiting for him to grab at the metal.

“Y-Yes, she always does, daddy.” Jeongguk’s eyes focus finally on you, even as his head tilts back further to rest against the elders’ shoulder, and you can feel your lower lip complaining under the pressure of your teeth as you clamp them down to muffle the whine you feel rising in your throat. Your whole body is burning under the weight of their gaze, and your muscles are tensed as if poised to attack, the natural rejection of how inherently wrong it feels to submit to them -and to see Jeongguk submit to someone else- is only outshadowed by the throb deep within.

“You don’t have to ask tonight, Gguk-ie.” It’s almost like a switch goes off in his head, the way Jeongguk’s eyes flash with excitement when Namjoon pulls back from whispering the words, and his fingers aggressively twitch against your thigh with the urge to grab you tight Your heartbeat kicks into overdrive as more than one set of hands settle against you, Jeongguk’s cupping your hips and Namjoon’s holding onto your ankles, tightening when your legs jerk in automatic reaction.

“O-On the floor, kneel for me.” You stare up at Jeongguk, a silent battle as he waits impatiently for you to do as asked before growing frustrated and parting his lips to speak again, but you’re jumping slightly with a cry before he can make a sound, trying to pull your leg from Namjoon’s grasp.

“You’re not deaf, little one. Do as you’re told or we’ll punish you.” Your thigh is still singing with warmth after the light smack he’d dealt to the sensitive skin, and even though your flesh is tingling with pleasure, you finally comply, shuffling back from them before sliding off the side of the mattress and wincing as the flushed skin of your knees, calves and backside meet the cold wooden floor.

In your embarrassment at having been put into place you’d diverted your eyes to the floor in front of your legs, hands twisted together in your lap as you frown, but when the two men on the bed don’t immediately move to follow you, your curiosity gets the better and you lift your eyes before you can think twice.

Namjoon is still pressed against Jeongguk’s back; head tilted down just enough to hide the lips that are whispering deviously into the youngers’ ear, and while you cant hear his words, you can only imagine what his warm breath must feel like so close to the flushed skin to have Jeongguk’s eyes flickering like that. His shoulders are turned in slightly, curling his spine and making it even easier for the older, taller boy to tower over him, and it sends even more pleasure sparking between your thighs.

“Go on, daddy will help you.” A final gasp from his sweet lips - dwindling off to a gentle whimper that has your thighs clenching - breaks your trance, and your gaze finds Namjoon’s teeth finally embedded in the soft area below Jeongguk’s ear. The flesh is pink, much like the tips of his ears, and shines slightly in the dim lamp light with the suggestion that the elder had laved a swipe of his tongue across the humid skin before the bite.

“Yes daddy.” Your lip hurts from how hard you’re sucking it between your lips, and you suppress a shudder when the two finally turn your way. Silence rings between you all, the only sound being the soft cotton sheets as Jeongguk slides across them to perch himself before you on the edge of the bed. The chill that had set into your skin is no longer the only thing to blame for your goosebumps however, and you lean towards him almost unconsciously when he reaches a hand out towards your face and cups your chin, eyes dark with want.

Namjoon is quick to join him, still kneeling high enough to tower easily over both the younger and you kneeling below them. Jeongguk isn’t very good at hiding the way he jumps in surprise when the elders’ hand glides up his spine to warm the nape of his neck, and you see Namjoon’s lips twitch at the corners in mild amusement before he controls his expression and fixes his heated stare on you as well.

“Time to get these shorts off, don’t you think?” His other hand finds Jeongguk’s hip again, this time with his thumb tucking into the waistband, and Namjoon beckons you forth with a jerk of his head. You almost hesitate, hands lifting to hover in the air between you, but at the tightening of his jaw you rush to help.

Jeongguk’s flesh is warm and slightly damp, and you can see his lower abdominal muscles tense when your fingertips skim so close to his undoubtedly aching length. He bucks slightly into your touch as you hook just your fingertips beneath his waistband, and when he lifts up Namjoon helps you to push the fabric from his hips until his length is freed, heavy and leaking against his lower stomach and standing tall right in front of your eyes while the clothing is cast aside.

“Please.” Jeongguk breaks your trance, your tongue having slipped across your lower lip as you watched a pearl of precum bead at the tip of his length before overflowing and trickling down the side of his length, leaving behind a shine that you oh so desperately wanted to trace with your tongue. He’s staring at you almost imploringly, chest heaving hard beneath the thin white cotton, and you can see his nipples clearly hardening along with his length.

“What’d I say, Gguk-ie?” Namjoon’s fingers twist at the finest hairs on Jeongguk’s neck and pulls slightly, just enough to have the youngers’ head leaning back slightly against his shoulder. “You don’t need to ask.”

“I-I.” Namjoon tuts and Jeongguk jerks in his hold once more, reacting to the way the elder grips his thigh before parting them with moderately gentle taps against the tensing muscles. The slightest sting has Jeongguk’s hips bucking again, and you don’t miss the way Namjoon’s eyes flash with as much amusement as arousal. Jeongguk has always been such a good little baby.

“Come closer, little one.” Namjoon’s eyes meet yours and he beckons you forward with a slight wave of his palm, chin coming to rest against the youngers’ shoulder, and Jeongguk easily relaxes into his hyung’s hold. “There you go, open your mouth.”

You have to swallow thickly as Namjoon’s digits tangle in your pillow mussed hair, fingers winding close to your skull and sending a pleasurable tingle of pain across your scalp as the ring on his finger pulls on the strands. The saliva pooling on your tongue is excessive and embarrassing, and your throat almost hurts with the sheer amount you gulp down before willingly parting your lips while he drags you closer to the youngers’ flushed cock.

He’s unexpectedly gentle with the first guided bob of your head over Jeongguk’s length, neither of you paying any mind to the way he tenses and cries out, head tilting back to hit Namjoon’s shoulder again with an almost painful sounding thud. Your tongue curls easily around his cock, familiarity making you automatically flick the tip of the thick muscle against the sensitive underside before Namjoon drags you down harder, pressing you more insistently on the others’ length.

“Noona!” Jeongguk entire body shudders as his swollen tip presses into your throat, hips flinching at the sharp pleasure and Namjoon’s fingers tighten against your skull before tilting your head back far enough to have your eyes connecting with the delectable view of the younger falling apart before you. Head thrown back in ecstasy, his neck lolls exhaustedly against the olders’ shoulder while his gaze flickers from being trained on your friction-plumped lips to rolling back into his head.

You faintly register the second hand appearing from behind Jeongguk, Namjoon’s fingers looping around the base of his dongsaeng’s cock without a word and trailing lower to roll his testes experimentally in his palm. His fingers graze your chin, slick with the wetness rolling off your tongue and onto the youngers’ length, and you can see the filthy smirk he casts your way even through the tears that bud in your eyes when he presses you down hard with no remorse, squeezing Jeongguk’s sack firmly until the boy wails a sob that just borders on too loud.

The intensity has Jeongguk breaking free from the haze of pleasure and immediately seeking out his release, and before you know it his hands have joined Namjoon’s in your hair, left cupping the hair on the opposite side of your head as his right almost overlaps the olders’ grip while his blunt nails dig into the thin skin behind your ear and his hips roll against the mattress.

Jeongguk is close, especially if the way his cock is starting to pulsate and throb against your tongue is anything to go by, and through the blood rushing in your ears and the tears that sting your eyes before they spill down your cheeks, you think you can hear Namjoon’s signature chuckle ring through the room; though darkened and tainted by the obviousness of his arousal.

“Make her take it Jeongguk-ie.” His fingers are ever so gentle on the back of the youngers’ neck, twisting one long digit through the strands and almost tickling behind his ear as Jeongguk’s breathing starts to puff from his nose while his lips purse tightly to hold in the noises he so desperately wants to make, and the way he looks so entirely fucked out already makes a moan reverberate in your throat, and it’s enough to push him off the edge.

Hot, thick and excessive enough to completely fill your throat, his cum spills forth into your mouth, coating the insides of your cheeks and the underside of your tongue in the viscous, milky liquid. Jeongguk moans weakly, twitching against his hyungs chest as he floats in and out of ecstasy with his hands still pressing hard on either side of your head, and it’s not until Namjoon coaxes his fingers free from your hair that he finally releases you and you’re able to pull away from his softening cock.

You fall limp against his thigh, chest and throat burning with the effort it takes to drag enough air in to adequately supply your brain with enough oxygen to prevent you from losing consciousness, and you finally process the way your nails are digging into the flesh of your own thighs, sharp enough to leave sore, reddened dimples of half moons when you pull them away with a hiss of pain.

“Very good, sweet thing.” Namjoon’s long fingers find your hair again, and you can help but whine at his touch on your tender scalp as he massages the roots of your hair gently. Chin still messy with the remnants of earlier activities and eyes no doubt puffy and swollen from the tears that had escaped, you finally lift your head to connect your gaze with his. “Did you swallow all of Gguk-ie’s cum like a good girl?”

A heavy blush colours your cheeks even as you bite your tongue against immediately retaliating to his patronisation, and you’re again reminded of the ache in your core that has only intensified over time. You can feel the slickness between your thighs even without rubbing them against each other, and you know the only way to get what you want is to play nice and do as you’re told.

Daringly, you uncurl your tongue from where it had been tasting whatever remnants of the youngers’ release that still lay within your cheeks and slowly open your mouth, letting the muscle slide from between your lips to show off the clean pink surface, and Namjoon grins at the way Jeongguk shifts between his parted thighs at the sight. He lifts a hand to graze his thumb at just the corner of your lips, catching a drop of missed liquid before laying it flat against your tongue and planting the bead right in the middle.

Obediently, you draw your tongue back into your mouth and swallow the pearl of cum, indulging the both of them as you lick your lips and gaze up at them both patiently. Jeongguk’s still a little out of it, his palms loosely curled on his thighs and his length slowly leaking whatever release was leftover onto his hip. But Namjoon doesn’t let him rest for long, tightening his fingers around the back of his neck and tilting his jaw just enough to give him easy access to the youngers’ ear where he immediately pulls the lobe between his teeth.

“Did she do good, baby?” Jeongguk shifts in place, eye becoming more lidded the longer his hyung breathes warmth over his flushed skin, and when he turns his eyes to you again your blood immediately boils under the skin, the flush in your cheeks spreading down your chest while sweat beads at your temples and your nipples harden into tender peaks.

“So good, baby.” Jeongguk’s still breathless, the red in the apples of his cheeks showing exertion rather than embarrassment now, and you’re left squeezing your thighs together to soothe the almost painful throb of arousal that his eyes shoot through you.

“Up here.” Namjoon lifts his hand from the youngers hip to hold out towards you, and you don’t wait to grab ahold and let him pull you to your feet, even while you wince at the pain in your knees and hips, lower back warm and achy from the way they’d had you leant over towards them. You stand silently between Jeongguk’s parted thighs for a moment, waiting patiently even while your free hand balls into a fist with the effort it takes to hold yourself back from reaching out.

Namjoon is merciful however, and he quickly pulls you closer until you’re forced to settle a thigh on either side of Jeongguk’s, straddling his lap, and the younger catches on quickly; lifting his hands and settling them on either side of your hips before gliding around to your barely covered backside to hold you steady.

You can feel the heat radiating from his length where it sits ignored by his hip, slowly regaining it’s life as his fingernails dimple the flesh of your ass, and you almost think to press your thigh teasingly to the flushed appendage before you’re interrupted by your own jerk, throat convulsing as you choke on a moan that threatens to break free. Namjoon’s hand still sits in mid hair while he vibrate with laughter against Jeongguk’s back and it’s only at the devilish smirk on his lips and the tingles that rush across your side that you realise Namjoon had perfectly pinpointed your pebbled nipple through your shirt and given it a cheeky pinch.

Choking down the urge to slap his hand away, you simply glare at him for a moment before realising it’s only making him smile wider and letting your gaze drop to your lap, feeling your cheeks heat when Jeongguk shakes slightly with laughter.

“So strange, seeing you so...pliant.” His voice is little more than a whisper and you quickly look up to meet his lidded stare, your teeth on autopilot when the find your lower lip and tug the swollen flesh into your mouth. “You almost seem like you’re enjoying it.”

“Why don’t you check?” Namjoon still has his chin perched on the youngers’ shoulder, his smile growing even wider while his dimples cast shadows in his cheeks and his eyes shine with mirth. Their gazes are akin to a predator, and it has your skin crawling enough to make you shift in Jeongguk’s hold, but he only pulls you closer, tightening his grip around the handful of flesh in his grasp to keep you in place.

Your spine almost cracks as you straighten yourself quickly, the muscles in your thigh jumping as the fingers of his right hand trail fiery tracks across your skin on their path to your core, and you almost whimper when he turns his fingertips inwards to scald you with light scrapes of his blunt nails. The closer he gets to your swollen centre, the more you shift in his lap, and you can tell he’s having trouble holding you in place when he grabs your thigh to pull you closer and fix his arm around your lower back.

Grateful for the slight reprieve in sensation, you arch your back to hide the sodden state of your underwear but Namjoon has come to the end of his thread over the boys struggle and he doesn’t hesitate to put you back into place.

The grip he takes on your hair is nowhere near as forgiving as before, tangled in the middle of the strands to give him more room to play with as he pulls you straight again, fixing you with a glare. “Move and I’ll punish you. Don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be, little one.”

You simper under his gaze, shoulders turning in naturally at his display of dominance and noting just how long his fingers are and just how badly they would sting your skin, not wanting to chance a sore backside if you can help yourself. When you let your gaze hesitantly flicker back to Jeongguk his eyes are wide, jaw relaxed with his mouth hanging open in blatant shock at the way you’d submitted so easily.

“No wonder she’s so embarrassed, look at those panties.” Your eyes slide shut, face burning in shame as Namjoon draws the youngers’ gaze between your thighs where no doubt the slick has spread freely and messily around your core. “Looks like she does like it Gguk-ie. Little slut enjoys being put in her place, hm?”

“Oh my god.”

“Wow.” Jeongguk whispers with utmost reverence at the way your hips buck into his softest touch, a whimper falling from your lips when he traces a finger on either side of your soaked core and inspects the way his fingers shine in the dim light, drenched with your arousal. “You’re so wet.”

“Dripping.” Namjoon’s voice is almost a moan as he traces with his eyes as a rivulet of slick forms and trails along the inside of your thigh slowly, and Jeongguk follows his lead with a gentle finger that finds that droplet and spreads the shiny moisture across your flesh.

“I didn’t know you were so dirty noona.” His finger presses into the muscle gently, enjoying the way you flinch at the pressure, and drags his finger even closer to your core until he meets the ruined band of your panties, slipping underneath to find even more moisture while you keen at his touch. You can feel your labia is already so swollen, pulsating with your arousal while your core leaks and your underwear moulds uncomfortably to your folds.

“Please-” You cant help but moan as his fingertip oh-so-carefully dips into your opening, barely giving you any reprieve from the lust that is burning you from the inside, and you duck your head to hide your face when Namjoon chuckles heartily, fingers tightening in your hair as you pull against his grip with your movements and gift him a whine.

“We didn’t even have to ask you to beg, looks like you’ll do it all on your own.” His grip eases, changing instead to comb through the tangled strands, and you relax further when Jeongguk glides his fingertip through your folds, frustratingly good at keeping his distance from your clit even when you tilt your hips closer to his touch.

“There’s not much point keeping these on, daddy, she’s already ruined them.” Jeongguk’s voice is heavily laden with cheek, and you can’t stop the groan that rises in your throat at his teasing; the need to defend yourself overridden with the want for him to touch you.

“I’m sure you can take care of that, baby.” Namjoons fingers drift from your hair to your shoulder, fingertips gliding along the skin and making you shudder and you press yourself closer to Jeongguk’s lap when he pulls his fingers away.

“Mmf, no-ah!” Crying out, you’re left in shock as you stare down at the tattered piece of fabric in Jeongguk’s hand, both sides that had lined your hips now split and ruined from the way he’d torn them from your body, and for a moment you can't quite comprehend exactly what he’s done. “Jeon Jeongguk! What-”

“Shh, I’ll buy you whatever panties you want later, baby.” For less than a second you’re able to ponder your displeasure at his actions, but then his finger is slipping between your folds and pressing deep into your core, and all you can do is melt in his hold, forehead meeting his shoulder and hips rolling into his touch. “There you go.”

“Ohh.” One finger quickly turns into two and you’re already losing yourself in the pleasure, Namjoon’s thumb pressing into the side of your neck and feeling the way your pulse starts to race only adding to the pleasure, and you suddenly wish he was using his whole hand on your throat.

“Feel good, little one?” Namjoon breath warms your shoulder as he moves closer, slipping out from behind Jeongguk to nudge your shoulder with his nose, and you lift your head to meet his eyes, both lidded and darkened with want as you lift yourself in the youngers’ lap and undulate against his digits to intensify your own pleasure.

“S-so good.” Uncontrollable in your own haze of lust, you lean into his embrace and tilt your head to allow him access to your neck, and he doesn’t disappoint; letting his plush lips drag across the humid flesh until he meets the soft patch behind your ear and laves his tongue over the salt-slicked skin. “Hng!”

Jeongguk’s fingers crook up inside you and your eyes shoot open wider, finally meeting his gaze as he pumps into you harder, and the stare he sticks you with has you freezing in place, every muscle tensing as he massages firmly against your gspot before using his thumb to rub against your clit like a joystick on a game controller - at least Overwatch is good for something.

Namjoon’s hand fulfills your unspoken wishes, thumb and forefinger pressing into the giving flesh under your jaw and squeezing just enough for your blood to struggle past his grip to get to your brain, and it makes your head throb almost as hard as your core.

“M-gonna cum.” A plead for mercy and a warning all in one, your hands find Jeongguk’s biceps  as he slams his fingers into you even harder, and your legs start to shake uncontrollably, making it difficult for you to hold yourself up. The way your limbs vibrate around him paired with the way your core tightens on his fingers makes Jeongguk moan, and he doesn’t hesitate to double his efforts.

“You’re gonna let her cum so soon?” Namjoon teases against the side of your throat, breath washing over your flushed skin while his thumb rubs circles on the side of your throat, unconsciously mimicking the circles the younger is rolling over your clit, and you whimper at the thought of your orgasm being ripped away, already so close to your grasp. “What about all the times she made you wait, Gguk-ie? Don’t you want to return the favour?”

“Please, don-fuck!” Your back arches into Namjoon’s other hand, the heat of his palm scalding you even through the fabric covering your chest, and the harsh pinch he delivers to your right nipple sends sparks of pain and pleasure to the whirlpool already building in your core. All the while Jeongguk has taken to hooking his fingers even harder against your walls with every pull of his hand and the intense curl of his digits stretches your walls to a point just shy of discomfort.

You can barely tell which way is up, the blood pumping through your ears deafening and lack of oxygen hazing your vision, but even through the disorientation you can feel the youngers’ pace faltering and slowing, making you sob and buck in his hold as your orgasm starts to slip away. Namjoon’s hand slips from your breast to hook around your waist, the words he whispers into your ear completely indiscernible as his grip on your throat momentarily tightens and you splutter at the complete cut off to your breath before his hand disappears entirely, along with Jeongguk’s at your core.

“No!” You give a hoarse cry, throat aching and tongue sticking to the roof of your mouth as you collapse in their hold, and you weakly sob while your arms and legs twitch uncontrollably, the muscles spasming while your head starts to clear. They hold you steady though, grips tight, and you feel the world tilt on its axis before you realise Jeongguk has leant back and you’re now laid across his chest, face buried in the curve of his neck while a large hand trails from the rots of your hair to the base of your spine soothingly.

“Shh, deep breaths.” The shuddering of your chest eases as your sobbing subsides and you curl in closer to Jeongguk’s warmth, whining as you nuzzle your face into his flesh, and he breathes a husky laugh while his grip on you tightens, keeping you close as you come down.

The more you relax, the more the continuous throb between your thighs arises, and you quickly remember that they hadn’t let you finish as your hips push down against Jeongguk’s still exposed member; coating the hard, flushed cock with your generous slick that makes the slide even easier as your hips roll, and he laughs even louder.

“You insatiable little thing, look at you.” Namjoon chimes from behind you, the hand resting at the swell of your ass dropping to grab at your flesh as you moan weakly, bucking harder against Jeongguk’s length and making him moan beneath you as he tightens his hold on your shoulders. “Still so desperate for cock, hm?”

“Please fuck me.” Your lips graze Jeongguk’s neck as you speak, and you tilt your chin to suckle the skin between your lips gently, nibbling tentatively when he gasps and presses further against your mouth. The boy under you tenses suddenly, and as you move to pull back and check his expression, you’re held fast by Namjoon’s hand while you gasp and freeze yourself.

The weeping tip of Jeongguk’s member is now pressed firm against your folds, and you know for a fact it’s not his hands holding it there. The pressure moves gently from side to side, spreading your lower lips and gliding through the wetness that drips from your hole until it’s coated to the elders’ satisfaction, and then the touch disappears and a slick noise fills the space, accompanied by Jeongguk’s choked groan as he curves up towards you and arches his neck back into the mattress.

“You want your slutty little hole filled, dirty girl?” Namjoon’s voice is darker and deeper than any moment before this, and it immediately sends shivers down your spine that radiate deep inside your core, and you know he can see the way your walls clench in response. “Filthy little bitch, aren’t you? Just dripping at the thought of being used - sit up.”

Hesitantly and more than a little shaky, you use your tired arms to lift your torso until you’re perched over Jeongguk’s stomach, and now you can clearly feel the way Namjoon strokes the youngers’ length as his knuckles graze against the cleft of your ass, and his hold on your cheek tightens when the flesh jiggles enticingly at his motions.

“Hyung!” Jeongguk shudders beneath you at motions you cannot see, and his hands find your waist as he bucks upwards, nails digging in as he lifts his head to glance up at you with a desperate gaze. “Daddy-fuck!”

“Ask nicely, little one. And I’ll give you both what you want.” Spreading your cheeks, Namjoon watches greedily as your hole gushes more slick while Jeongguk’s cock leaks pre cum over his knuckles.

“Please, let him fuck me?” You barely finish your sentence before your flesh is singing with heat, the resounding smack of his palm against your skin shocking you for a moment before you squirm against his hold and he delivers two more swift hits to your backside.

“Please, who?” Jeongguk is in on it now, his patience running thin as the only thing standing between him and the pleasure of your tight walls is your pride, and you feel his thighs bend under you, spreading your legs further and placing you even closer to his cock. You almost refuse, the act of submitting to two men let alone two younger men entirely unlike you, but how could you not when they dominate you so well?

“Say it!” The next slap against your skin stings the swollen flesh of your folds, and you dont doubt Namjoon’s palm is now covered in your arousal, the tingling warmth of his hit lingering in your sensitive clit and breaking your resolve.

“Please daddy, let me be fucked!” A low growl vibrates each vertebrae in your back, and you cry out as you’re quite suddenly impaled with Jeongguk’s sizeable length. He’s buried to the hilt, cock throbbing against your walls and not a moment passes before he’s fucking up into you; hands slipping from your ribs to press against your lower back and completely control your movements - you couldn’t escape the pleasure even if you wanted to.

The harsh punishing pace he has set means you can barely breathe under the pressure of his movements, every breath catching on the cries in your throat and it doesn’t take long for you to quickly become light headed. The smack of his hips on yours stings pleasurably, and you can feel your clit pulse with each hit of his flesh, the tip of his cock driving ever deeper until the angle of his hips changes abruptly and has you falling forwards over his chest.

“Hnng, Gguk-shit!” Your earlier orgasm rushes back to you, the sensitivity of your walls driving you head first into the intense pleasure, and all you can do is hold on tightly as it sweeps through you. As you muffle your screams in the youngers’ flesh, part of your brain notes the faint groans surfacing from behind you, and while you’d been content to let them pass by without recognition, Jeongguk has other ideas.

He flips you easily, pushing you backwards until your head drapes over the edge of the mattress, but when you immediately go to lift your head he tangles his fingers in your hair against your scalp and pulls you back into position.

“Daddy deserves a turn with that dirty mouth, don’t you think baby?” His voice vibrates against your throat while he licks slick lines up your neck, suckling hard to turn your skin red under his lips, and you don’t initially understand what he’s looking at when he turns his head to the side, but it doesn’t last long when you follow his gaze with your eyes.

The grating moan that escapes your throat is akin to a gurgle when you finally spot Namjoon where he’s leant against the foot of the bed, his cheeks flushed and lower lip swollen as he sucks it between his teeth, dimples peeking through again. Long fingers are wrapped around the flushed skin of his large cock and you can feel the saliva pooling on your tongue with the want to taste the wetness he massages under his thumb at the tip of his length.

“Should I let her baby?” He chuckles, lips curving at the ends as he shudders at a particularly sensitive brush along the underside of his shaft, hips bucking into his own fist as his head lolls on his own shoulder. “Little slut looks like she wants it.”

“She is being awfully loud. Might need you to shut her up a bit, hm?” That last part Jeongguk also directs towards you, turning his gaze back to where you’re held back by his fist in your locks and pushed hard into the mattress by the way his hips grind heavily against yours. The tip of his length is pulverising your gspot, mortar and pestle, and you can feel the waves of a second release building in your core, just as terrifyingly intense as the last.

Namjoon doesn’t speak again, only chuckles darkly at the way you immediately quieten your whimpers, and you almost flinch when he stands to approach you, towering easily over where you’re pinned, and soon enough you have a very clear view of the underside of his generous length.

“Open up.” Jeongguk orders, pulling the skin on your jaw between his teeth hard enough to make you gasp, and Namjoon immediately pushes forward to meet your plush lips with the tip of his cock, a pearl of moisture trickling down to bead against your upper lip beneath his flesh, and he circles the base of his member to spread the liquid across it like lip gloss, enhancing the puffiness much to his liking.

“Wider.” Namjoon is not to be argued with, the steady rise and fall of his chest giving no sign of discomposure away, and you barely blink up at him as you relax your jaw and give him more space to nestle the head of his cock against your tongue. Salty pre cum floods your senses and makes your mouth pool even more generously with moisture, and as he presses forward even harder to drive closer to the back of your throat, you realise this position is optimal for his control, as you’re entirely unable to pull away or escape his advances, and the risk sends a rush of excitement through your veins.

The cool air against your flushed skin is the only sign you get that Jeongguk has pushed the sleep shirt you’d been wearing up to pool under your armpits and his hot mouth fixes on one pert nub, flicking his tongue hard against the peak before sucking unforgivingly against the sensitive flesh and making you choke on Namjoon’s length as your throat convulses in a keen at the pain.

Not giving a moments rest, he frees the bud only to fix himself onto the other and repeat the motion, his hand finding the swell of your now free breast and pinching your nipple between his fingers while the tips press hard enough to bruise. Your hands find his muscular shoulders and you can’t help but dig your nails into the flesh as he lifts his hips even higher before each drop, fucking you right into the mattress and making your head spin.

Namjoon is moaning freely above you, hand cupping your cheek upside down from where he’s stood over you and his thumb presses into your cheek gently as he thrusts his hips deeper and deeper after every withdrawal. Your eyes bud with tears at the insistent pressure within your throat and your face is becoming uncontrollably messy, spit slicking up your cheeks and starting to pool enough on your skin to dribble towards your undereyes with the angle your head has over the beds edge.

And even while you’re trying as hard as you can to keep your breathing even, as well as swallow down the spit that Namjoon’s cock pushes from your throat, you’re slowly losing your control and the need to breathe is fast rising. One hand lifts from Jeongguk’s shoulder and you find the heated skin of Namjoon’s hip above you, but the moment the younger realises you’re attempting to push the older away, he grabs your wrist hard and pulls it down to your side.

“Keep your hands to yourself. You asked for this, baby, you wanted to get fucked right?” he emphasises his words with heavy thrusts aimed perfectly at your gspot and in turn you struggle harder as Namjoon buries his length deeper into your throat, grinning deviantly as he feels your throat tighten even further.

Momentarily, he pulls back entirely from your mouth, and you gasp in a grating breath, chest burning with overexertion, but not a moment later he presses your mouth open once more and thrusts inside without a care. “You wanted to choke earlier, slut, what's the difference now?”

“Maybe it’s not enough daddy, and she really wants us to fuck her up hm?” Namjoon pulls out again, grunting with the effort of holding back his urge to just use you until he’s satisfied, and you gasp desperately once more, blinking fast as your eyes burn at the messy mixture that's starting to run into them, and while it’s undeniably disgusting to feel, somehow it only makes your skin burn hotter.

Strings of spit still sit connected to Namjoon’s length, and they drip messily onto your lips when he strokes his length quickly, the shine of your saliva helping his fist to glide down his shaft and dripping down his sack to make a mess of the floor beneath him. His grin doesn't budge even as he reaches down and uses his thumb to tidy up your under eyes, and you can't even think straight to thank him for the small favour, focusing entirely on catching your breath before he decides to take it from you again.

Jeongguk releases his grip on your hair, lifting his torso and settling back on his heels as he tugs your legs firmly up and over his shoulder in order to deepen his thrusts. You almost choke on the ball of moisture you audibly gulp down when you take the chance of lifting your head, not missing the way it’s starting to pound from the angle it’d been stuck in. He leans over you once more, bending you in half this time as he thrusts deep, the girth of his cock growing as he inevitably grows closer to his release.

“Open up for daddy, baby.” You whine, eyebrows pulled together even as you comply, tipping your head back and parting your lips. Not one for hesitation, Namjoon immediately thrusts in deep, and luckily your throat has grown accustomed enough to the stretch that you don't immediately choke, but you know your body has tensed once more from the lack of air and you feel Jeongguk’s hips falter as you tighten around him.

Just as you feel a sense of accomplishment at making him lose some semblance of control, your hand flies up to grasp his wrist, eyes widening as he takes ahold of your throat and presses down against your airway, immediately sending your throat tightening around Namjoon’s length.

“Fucking hell!” Namjoon throws his head back, hips stuttering as his tip swells, and under the pressure your muscles automatically shift to swallow, intensifying his pleasure even further. Meanwhile Jeongguk’s eyes are staring deep into yours, regardless of the cock blocking part of his view, and even as your grip tightens on his arm, he doesn't let up.

“If you really can’t take it, baby, you know what to do.” His voice is low, free of the domineering patronisation from before, and you immediately understand what he means. The safe signal for him is four consecutive taps against your shoulder, and it makes sense for him to use the same notion even with the tables turned.

You can tap out easily - possibly in your best interest to, to be fair - but the burning sense of pride still sits heavy in your gut, and you’re struck with the want to prove yourself; you can’t just dish it out, you can take it too.

Jeongguk seems to understand the determination in your eyes, and his lips split in a grin before he turns his gaze upwards to glance at his hyung, and you follow his lead. Namjoon is completely fucked out, hips jumping as he grows ever closer to his orgasm, and this time when you swallow it’s intentional. “Hnng-shit! Good little slu-ah!”

He’s almost caught off guard by his own orgasm, knees buckling momentarily before he pulls his length from your lips and finally pumps himself to release. Jeongguk’s hand immediately disappears from your throat, settling between your legs to rub tight circles on your clit that have you arching up into his touch and crying out as Namjoon paints your torso with his cum.

The force of his orgasm pushes his release far enough that you can feel the heat of it coating your lower stomach and you’re suddenly struck with the idea that it would’ve felt even nicer if he’d finished onto your core while Jeongguk continues to fuck you.

“Fuck, baby!” Your thighs shake with the impending orgasm that’s wracking your body, and Jeongguk leans down to balance his weight on his forearm as he quickens his thrusts, thumb growing even clumsier in its jerky movements to push you to finish, but all it takes it a few more pumps to detonate your release and then you’re exploding.

Every muscle tenses before simultaneously relaxing and you barely find it within yourself to hold on as Jeongguk pushes through your orgasm to find his own, and then he’s pulling his throbbing cock from between your raw, swollen folds and fucking up into his fist to paint your core with his cum, whining into your skin all the while.

All you can do is moan exhaustedly as he presses plush lips to the inside of your knee, his own arms shaking with the effort to hold himself up, the kiss he then presses to your lips sparingly fleet before he collapses to the side and leaves the both of you to stare up at the roof, dazed.

“Well that went well.” When you turn to the young man, you find his attentions directed elsewhere and when you tilt your chin to glance up at Namjoon where he’s leant over the side of the bed next to you, completely fucking exhausted with a hint of blush colouring his cheeks now that it’s all said and done, you’re finally stuck with comedic realisation; forget Namjoon-

“-Jeongguk, how on earth are you still wearing your shirt?!” He only splutters in return, offended.

“I-You are too!”