#it's true vee IS going to be so happy and relieved to see her.

[crimeronan]

I like thinking that Vee must be so happy and relieved that her Mama came back unharmed, sure she's going to give that one hell of a conversion about Luz and Hunter, but first Camila will need to survive several minutes of a bone crushing full body hug from an almost adult basilisk :)

Also I imagine Camila somehow got her a hexes hold'em deck, because that's still her favorite snack.

i like imagining that a nearly-adult vee would hug just like hooty. full anaconda-style wraparound. camila is getting SNUGGLED and her back is getting CRACKED.

[mikuni14]

Century of Love - Ep 7

Wow, what an episode, WOW! I'll be honest, I was actually pretty worried about this episode for one reason and one reason only: that San would be confused, lost, and worst of all: torn between Vee and New Wat. You have no idea how relieved I am that San was 100% with Vee the whole time. Even the scene of him comforting Wat at the beginning, I took it as his natural protective and comforting instincts kicking in, rather than him "connecting" with New Wat.

San was of course confused and worried about this whole mess, which is absolutely understandable, but not enough to overshadow his feelings - he was sure of them. That's the best thing ever 💯

Why I love this episode:

I cried for about 80% of the time

Neither San nor Vee did anything stupid, weird, unpleasant that would affect how much I like them (and I was really afraid of it ngl)

San didn't give in to pressure from Vee, family, Wat, the stone or FATE. I really liked the scene at the beginning when Vee runs away, begs him to let him go, pulls away, and San holds him tight, doesn't let go, doesn't give up. Likewise, after Vee's confession, he still goes to him, he's still open to Vee and if it weren't for his weakness and fainting, he would definitely go after him again

I really liked how he treats Juu, how he apologized to her for causing her problems and stress

I like that San quickly gets his shit together, makes decisions quickly without wallowing in self-pity, constant pondering, questioning and indecisiveness

I like the portrayal of Vee's absolute despair and frenzy related to his grandmother's condition. That's actually rare. Also, how he makes bad decisions under the influence of that despair. I like that he repeats the actions of the equally desperate, scared and mourning San from 100 years ago

I like the classic juxtaposition from fairy tales: true love is sincere, noble, ready to make sacrifices "I'd rather leave/die, as long as my beloved lives", juxtaposed with fake love that slanders, undermines trust, ingratiates itself, fights dirty. It's also interesting that San paid so much attention to Wat's nobility and kindness and how he judged Vee when he met him, and yet his heart chooses a noble person again - Vee, even if his eyes see someone with Wat's face. Classic 🤩

of course I love that San does what I've been saying from the beginning: he chooses Vee as Vee and even said it himself! San chose Vee even when put in front of someone who looks like Wat and has her memories. San makes a free choice, he falls in love with a specific person. Once it was Wat, now it's Vee.

I also love the protectiveness shown in this episode: San is protective of Vee and his family, Vee is protective of San and his grandmother, San's family is protective of him and Vee (that's why his "betrayal" hurt them so much), Ton and Trai are protective of Vee…

The whole truth about San's feelings was shown in his reaction when the stone lit up for Vee, and when it lit up for New/Fake Wat. And how he reacts physically to Vee and Wat, sometimes even in the same scene (like pushing her away and being gentle with Vee). You can't fake that. Also, after seeing Wat after 100 years of waiting, the first thing San did was go to Vee and hug him 🥺 He kept asking him to stay, he held him in his sleep, as if he was afraid he would leave..

I just... I love them so much. For all the emotions they give me, for how wonderful and human they are. For how much they love each other and how much they are willing to do for each other.

"I don't want San to die as well. Even though I won't be with him. But I will see him live his life. Be happy with the person he loves. This is enough?" "So a person like me would love him? A bad person like me?" 💔 "I LOVE VEE FOR VEE"

[princess-of-the-corner]

Titan Luz AU

I didn't go over Camila's reaction to finding out that Luz stayed in the Demon Realm, at least not in deep.

After discovering that Vee isn't Luz - because Vee wasn't wearing Luz's medallion - Camila wonders, "If Vee was the one who went to the camp, then where is Luz?"

Vee explains that she saw Luz - in her human disguise - in the Demon Realm, so she is likely still there.

After Vee explains a bit about the Demon Realm, Camila correctly deduces that Luz stayed there to find answers about herself.

Camila is understandably upset that Luz had been lying to her all these months but also distraught that she somehow caused her daughter to run away.

Then someone rings the bell, and Camila opens the door to see a nervous Luz standing there. It takes a second for Camila to recognize her because Luz's disguise is different at this point. But the second Camila realizes it's her daughter, she embraces her with relieved tears in her eyes.

Luz is also relieved that her mom is happy to see her, then does a double take when she sees Vee-disguised-as-Luz.

After introducing Vee and explaining her story, the three sit down to talk. Either Camila or Vee asks Luz why her disguise looks different, or Luz comments it's weird that Camila didn't realize it wasn't Luz sooner because it didn't look like her, prompting Camila to point out it's Luz('s disguise) who doesn't like her. That's when Luz finally realizes how different her disguise looks now.

"Wait, is this why people think that Eda and Raine are my parents?!"

After wondering why the disguise is different for a bit, Luz resolves to ask Gus, as he knows the most about illusions.

Luz then tells Camila all about what she has been doing all these months, including finding out she has a brother. Camila listens to Luz relate everything to her, happy that her daughter now has friends and found some information about herself - but she also wants to talk to Luz about the lying and if Luz wants to stay in the Demon Realm.

Then Luz asks Camila if she wants to meet Eda and King. Turns out the pair had gone with Luz to the Human Realm and were hiding in case Luz's reunion with her mom didn't go well.

Camila is introduced to Eda and King, and the whole group talks briefly before Camila suggests that Vee introduce Luz to her friends. Camila suggests this because she wants to talk to Eda in private. Eda realizes what's up and distracts King somehow - the only reason King doesn't go with Luz and Vee is that he doesn't have a way to disguise himself.

Camila and Eda have a talk about how Luz had been doing in the Demon Realm about things that Luz didn't mention or downplayed to not worry her mom. Then Camila confesses to Eda her fear that she drove Luz away due to forcing her to hide her true self as a way to protect her. Eda (awkwardly) reassures Camila that Luz doesn't hate her and that she had been a good mom to Luz, etc.

It is while Camila and Eda have their talk that Luz and Vee get captured by Jacob Hopkins. Owlbert had been watching the girls and hurries to warn Eda and Camila.

The two mothers storm the Gravefield Historical Society to rescue their daughters, but Vee's friends have already halfway rescued them. They still get the chance to fuck up Jacob.

YE

[littlebigafterdark]

I'm feeling in a particular mood for some more Logan stuff, (totally not my comfort character who unfortunately is a medium for a lot of angst /s) so maybe the almost-relapse?

the littles accidentally trigger logan's ED (janus and patton help him thru it)

This is a copy pastd from a really long message i sent to liv a few weeks ago, just in case the grammar is weird or somethin!

oOo

context: whenever roman is a brat and refuses to eat dinner, logan gets noticeably more frustrated than with any other bratty behaviour because it hits too close to home to his eating disorder

so...

one day when patton is out somewhere, maybe at his carpentry class ((thats actually slightly spoilers for a big concept for the main blog lol)), logan has both the littles

and roman is bratty and refuses to eat dinner and logan breathes evenly and tries not to worry abt it bc he KNOWS roman always eats, hes just doing it to be annoying, breathe, he isnt actually restricting its ok

and logan was literally holding the baby fork up to vees mouth and suddenly she giggles and pushes it away

"come on baby, yummy time" logan coos and smiles a little but he doesnt feel it, and with his other hand he tickles lightly under vees chin and she giggles and logan smiles and goes to feed her again

but she pushes the fork away and babbles "mo bima!"

and roman laughs "yeah, no dinner! no dinner!" and bounces

and logan is feeling rlly shaky and hot suddenly and swallows thickly and ignores roman, and keeps looking at vee "princess, please open up," trying not to pay attention to how shaky his voice is. "its papa's spaghetti remember? yummy" he nods enthusiastically and goes to feed her again

but again vee just giggles all squeaky and pushes the fork away and looks at roman with a big smile for his approval. and roman is like "yeah vee! rebellion!!!" still so playful

but he hasnt noticed logans chest is heaving a little and hes staring at where vee pushed the fork away and logan was too shaky not to drop it on the floor.

and he looks up at vee and how small she is and how shes genuinely on the lower end of average weight and they need to make sure she doesnt dip down into underweight and thinks about how terrified he is of the idea that if she did develop an ED like he did it would be so dangerous and he cant see his baby go through that and-

it just hits him so so so harshly and hes suddenly crying and roman and vee freeze and look at him. and he hurriedly wipes away his tears and breathes shakily and tries to say again

"vee pl-please just ea--" and his throat closes up, he cant even say the word 'eat' and he gags on his tears and jumps up from his chair to run out to the downstairs bathroom and locks himself in trying to calm down and stop gagging.

and he can hear vee crying and roman - adult now - promising her its okay, mama feels a bit sicky but everythings okay, lets phone nana, its ok baby

and logan is breathing too fast and shaking and crying with his back against the bathroom door, not gagging anymore, but unable to take himself outside

. he hears roman feeding vee, and vee giggling and clearly enjoying the food, but no matter how comforting that is to hear he cant get over that genuine terror he felt when vee refused to eat, its his worst nightmare for vee to develop disordered eating - for any of them, but vee is already very thin and it could be critical, and logan cant get over that

when janus arrives (barely ten minutes later, he must have jumped in the car straight away which is only used for emergencies bc of janus' partial blindness) he speaks quietly to roman, and of course theyre trying to be subtle

but the kitchen is only across the hall from the bathroom and logan hears every word of roman explaining what happened and how confusing it was and how patton wont be home for another forty five minutes and roman didnt want either vee or logan to be alone but they probably shouldnt be around each other right now since vee gets so upset when the others arent happy

roman tries to talk to logan first through the bathroom door, apologising for misbehaving and promising he wont do that again. but can logan tell him what exactly was so bad about it this time? so roman can not do whatever it is in future.

but logan cant bring himself to say anything. he cant tell roman about this at least not yet he hasnt felt ready yet even if its been years and he doesnt know if he ever will be ready to tell roman about his ED

so after realising logan wont talk to him, roman swaps with janus. janus doesnt know the details but he knows theres something about logan and eating and hes made an educated guess from all the fibs hes heard over the years.

"hey, dic" (janus' unsavoury nickname for logan that he insists is just short for dictionary) "do you need a glass of water?"

logans throat is actually dry from hyperventilating and he says with a quiet scratchy voice through the door "yes please"

and when janus brings it to the door he just knocks gently and when logan opens the door to accept it janus doesnt make any comment on logans messy hair where hes run his hand through it or on his glassy red rimmed eyes or on the tremble of his fingers. but he does say "i know it must be so cozy in there" he nods to the cramped cold bathroom "but you might just prefer it in your room"

logan flushes a little and nods, comes out of the bathroom and heads to the stairs, but he pauses at the bottom of the stairs thinking... he doesnt know if he can be trusted alone upstairs. theres another bathroom up there and the gagging has made his stomach churn and he feels FULL from dinner and if only he emptied it then maybe he would feel better right? .... no

so he rasps without turning back to janus "i... i cant be alone"

"look behind you, idiot" janus says and its far closer than logan remembered him being.

he whips his head round to see janus was following closely behind him. janus raises a pierced eyebrow "well, are we going to stand in the stairway all night?" and of course its snarky but its soft too

so logan breathes deeply and they go upstairs to his room. janus makes himself at home, immediately grabbing a book from logans book case and collapsing sideways in logans armchair as soon as they stepped in the room. logan reclines on his bed and sips his water and does breathing exercises and tries to not feel humiliated about this breakdown

every time logan tries to apologise for disturbing janus' evening (he didnt) or asks if janus is sure roman is grownup enough to look after vee appropriately (he is) or insists that he is okay to be left alone now (he's not) janus just murmurs "shut up im reading"

when patton gets back roman just tells him logan isnt feeling good and patton hurries up to see him - and upon seeing his husband logan is overcome by shame that he almost relapsed and relief that his best friend is here and a wave of tears that he tries and fails to blink away

and janus just quietly bids them good night and promises he'll stay a couple hours to keep roman and vee company, but patton insists he stays the night in pattons room (its not safe for him to drive in thr dark) and janus is used to this routine by now that he knows where the spare pillows are

so janus leaves quietly and logan croaks "thanks, old man" trying to sound casual but regretting it when his voice shakes. janus just holds up a peace sign and closes logans door behind him on the way out.

as soon as the door closes logans face crumples and he hides his eyes behind his arm and patton practically bounds over to logan and climbs onto bed next to him and cradles logans head to his shoulder as he cries

they stay like that, cuddling in bed, patton cradling logans head and kissing the nape of his neck and wrapping his arm around logans waist to spoon him and whisper about what happened and how they can avoid it in future

but mainly they just breathe and cry together and patton fills the hours with soft affirmations of love and getting logan a tea and promising its okay if logan wants a cookie with it but logan says maybe later (later turns out to be 2:30 in the morning but at least it really was later)

they barely sleep that night but its all comfort and talking and by morning despite being exhausted, logan feels safer and breakfast goes by without a hitch

oOo

just some notes me and liv made that i think highlights some main points:

logan struggling so much even when he knows that the kids are just playing around and they don't really mean that they don't want to eat, but it's just one of those things that inevitably hits too close to home

it just suddenly hit him! like any other day he can cope with roman doing that, its a small blip usually, but the fact that VEE started refusing food freaked logan out so much bc they genuinely have to keep an eye on her weight just bc shes naturally so small

his emotions about his history with an ED plus his overprotective mama cg space making him nearly go into a panic attack from the thought that vee could develop an ED is very sad and very true

and janus coming right away!! and he and roman handle the siatuation so well, like roman was so smart knowing not to leave logan alone, and janus calling him dic and taking him to his room and staying there until patton gets back

and him crying from just seeing patton because he's his best friend and he can be vulnerable around him is very :'c <3

hes so so relieved to see patton but theres also the slightests "ive let my husband down" bc he thinks bc patton helped him so much he owes it to patton to not relapse - but of course pat reassures him its natural to relapse but he didnt! he caught it in the early stages and asked for help and patton is never disappointed in him

he caught it!!! he caught it and he stopped himself and he let himself be helped by both roman and janus and patton and he didn't even relapse!! and this whole thing is really a sign of how far he's come that he was able to accept their help in his vulnerable state, even if roman and janus didn't have the full story, they still wanted to help him through whatever he was experiencing

[anthropologicalhands]

ceg fic: forest for the trees

title: forest for the trees pairing: heather/valencia summary: a few simple actions can be better than the most eloquent love letters. notes: This was supposed to be a ficlet for Valentine's Day, except that I was late getting it out and also the prompt, "love letters", vanished about halfway through and could now only be squeezed into the summary, so it's more in the spirit of the thing than a direct response. Thanks goes to @catty-words - this was a great list and it was really fun seeing all the ficlets and art unfold this month!

Heather is setting down the last of the serving dishes at the kitchen table when she hears Valencia’s key turn in the lock.

“Oh my God. What happened in here?”

Heather looks up to find Valencia at the door, only one foot through the threshold, just staring at the arrangement. Heather admits that it is a pretty impressive sight, with dozens of flickering candles clustered at the center of the table, on the counters and even floating in bowls of water. The room in general that has been transformed into a candlelit fantasyland. Candles not just in red and white and pink but oxblood and vanilla and carnation. And that doesn’t even begin to touch on the roses.

Heather is quite proud of the roses, actually: all arranged elegantly in non-candlelit spaces without the possibility of becoming potential fire hazards.

“It’s Valentine’s Day, obviously,” says Heather. “Didn’t you want to eat in because of your appointment with Hilda the Heinous?”

“Oh, I remember,” says Valencia, getting over her shock long enough to get inside and enter the kitchen proper, still staring in awe at the decorations. “But oh my God. How long did this take you? How much did it cost?” There’s a faint edge of horror to her question—Heather doesn’t entirely blame her, given the apparent bloodthirstiness of the florists Valencia has been contending with in her quest to wrangle vendors.

“Not long. I mean, getting everything was pretty easy, I already had to order roses and stuff in bulk for Home Base anyways –turns out people get really disappointed if you don’t do appropriate holiday dressing.”

“Oh.” Valencia cocks her head to the side, one hand reaching out and absently brushing the petals of the nearest arrangement. “I thought you were just going to hang a lot of banners with jokes about getting to the right bases. What happened there?”

“Yeah, I wanted to do that, but those parents who come in and drink in the middle of the afternoon get really uptight about mild innuendo, so…paper hearts and a million roses it is.”

Heather leans back, watching as Valencia walks through the kitchen, clearly impressed by everything she is seeing. She’s smiling softly, eyes alight. But then, for no discernible reason that Heather can see, Valencia pauses, and her smile slips right off.

“Everything okay?” asks Heather, her concern not quite breaking through her layer of chill, but her skin prickles with unease.

“This isn’t about what I said last week, is it?” asks Valencia, sounding surprisingly timid.

“What?”

“You know, the whole…missing the trees for the forest thing? You were talking about seeing the big picture, not getting stuck on the details, and then I said—”

“That someone needs to tend to the trees, or else you miss the wood rot and the next thing you know the whole copse is dead,” finishes Heather. “Yeah, it was a very vivid image.”

“Thanks, I’m taking that new tutorial for—”

“Puns. Yeah, I know. I appreciate the good wordplay.”

“Right. Thanks.” Valencia twists at her purse strap, clearly still uneasy, and Heather isn’t quite sure why. Valencia is easy for her to read, and to not have that is unsettling.

“Vee, are you okay with this? Did I miss something?”

Valencia’s eyes, which had been vaguely scanning over the column of candles near Estrella, now snap back to meet Heather’s, surprised and mildly affronted; Heather feels herself relax a little bit because this Valencia, she can deal with.

“No! No, this looks so nice, I really do love it.” She sounds sincere, but still not entirely happy.

“Okay. Now that we have that settled, what’s wrong? You don’t seem happy.”

Valencia sighs, and rubs her forehead.

“I just want to know…that you know that I wasn’t…fishing for some big romantic thing for today, right?”

“Yeah, obviously—you don’t do that. You tell me what you want. It’s a key character trait. Why are you worried about that now?”

Valencia shrugs sheepishly. “I don’t know—well, I do know that, in the past, I have placed a lot of emphasis on doing things right and assuming that the appearance of success guaranteed it.”

Heather arches an eyebrow at her. “When I have ever felt obligated to do anything?”

Valencia giggles. “That’s very true.”

“See? But just because I don’t feel obligated, doesn’t mean I can’t take care of the details.” Heather folds her arms and leans back elegantly in her chair, more relieved than she would have thought to see how Valencia smiles. “And, I mean, you did have a point. I don’t miss stuff, but I won’t act on them, which can be not great in its own way and, like, I need to work on that. A forest is only a forest if there are trees and we need to make sure the trees are healthy. So, this is me…doing tree maintenance.”

Valencia grins. “Nice. You know, you have some sexy wordplay going on yourself.”

“What can I say? I’m good with the outdoorsy puns.”

“Yeah you are,” agrees Valencia, setting her bag on the counter. “And, to be fair, you were right about me, too. I might have a tendency to get a little obsessed with the details. Minor tunnel vision.”

“I mean, I’m not objecting,” says Heather, with a slight smile and raising her eyebrows. “It’s one of my favorite qualities about you. Intense focus. Telling me exactly what you’re looking for. It’s kind of fun and definitely sexy.”

Valencia preens.

“Also, I kind of remembered that given your past relationship history, it might be good to show that I do pay attention to the little things you like and do,” adds Heather. “And not because I’m scared of what you’ll do to me if I don’t. It’s because I care about you and I want to make you happy.”

Valencia melts, breaking out into a genuine, full-bodied smile that lights her up from the outside in.

“I love you too, Heather.”

She leans in and kisses Heather, tasting her lipstick, her hand coming up to brush her thumb against Heather’s cheekbone, palms cupping Heather’s jaw. She shivers pleasantly when Heather leans into it, arms tightening around Valencia’s waist, only to abruptly pull away, eliciting a displeased grunt from Heather.

“Right,” agrees Valencia, leaning back in, but still annoyingly not resuming any kissing. “Uh, so before we get into this, where’s Rebecca? Is she out for the evening?”

Heather raises her eyebrows pointedly at her. “Didn’t I tell you I took care of the details? She’s already promised not to stand in the way of romance tonight. Her words,” she adds, when Valencia’s expression briefly morphs from searching to outright skeptical. “Not mine.”

Valencia relaxes slightly, sinking further into Heather. “Good. And, to be clear, she definitely won’t be back for the rest of the night?”

Heather smirks. “Nope. She has some tree maintenance of her own. And when she does that, she likes spending the night all up in the branches. Which lets us stop beating around the bush, and just—”

“Get it on?” supplies Valencia, with a quirked brow.

“You know the song,” says Heather, and tugs her back down.

[marshmallowatheart]

To All The Boys I've Loved Before (Part 42)

Van Lowe Investigations, as unappealing as the name is, Veronica does find herself attracted to the trade of it all. It helps that Mac works at the Kane Software store (she didn't know they had a store but Mac's in love with the gadgets and gizmos and the employee discounts that come along with it).

She'd repelled the idea of working for Vinnie Van Lowe but the pull of the investigation part was enough to get her through the door for an interview.

It's grimy - it doesn't feel like an office - it feels like a frat party died in there. She has a good mind to go back home and ask her dad to get her a job at the station. She'd done that last summer - it wasn't official, it didn't really pay, and it didn't exactly challenge her intellect but she's sure it'd be better than whatever this is.

"You're a PI that works in a mall?" She stares him dead in the eye, unimpressed as he eats the last piece of cold left over pizza that looked abandoned for way too long.

"It's temporary," he shrugs, he's uncaring and messy in ways that make her skin crawl. "How cool would it be, right? Me, Batman. You, Robin," he grins, using his fingers to gesture between the two of them. "Batgirl. Whatever."

"You want me to be your side kick?" She curls her lip, nose scrounging up, disgust apparent.

"Of course, the official term would be receptionist," he says, shrugging as he muffles through scattered paperwork.

She feels afraid to breath properly in this room, the messiness makes her fingers itch and she can't help the irksome feeling that takes over. "What would I have to do, exactly?"

"Answer phone calls, set the files, that kinda stuff. But if you want, we can always get you on the field. You're a Mars, detecting is in your blood."

She wasn't expecting him to throw it out to her like that. She'd expected to negotiate her way to the 'detecting' part of it - she felt positive that it wouldn't be part of the job but he's handing it to her on a golden platter.

She's silent as she revels in this and he's stopped fidgeting with his clutter for all of two seconds when he says, "Tell you what, VMars, you convince your dad to let you work here and the job is yours."

--vm--

"Hey, Veronica," Leo smiles in greeting - that happy smile that shows off his pearly whites and his dimples. "How's it going?"

She smiles back, nodding her head as she settles her bag and large white box on the counter. "I'm doing good. It's Christmas break, best part of the year," she chirps and pauses for a moment as she sees the invite for the Sheriff's Department annual Christmas party. She gestures to the poster and asks, "Think Sacks is gonna play Santa again this year?"

"It's either him or Lamb and I don't think Lamb's in a very giving mood."

"Is he ever?" She laughs. Lamb was the Grinch of Christmas. Lamb was the Grinch of the year.

"Are those doughnuts?" He asks, eyeing the white box in front of him. "Can I have one?"

"Sure but only one," she playfully warns, opening it up for him. "Kind of a bribe for my dad."

"Ooh," he laughs, taking a powdered doughnut in his hand. "Bringing out the big guns. You know all you have to do is tilt your head and he'll say yes to anything you want?"

She chuckles, picking up her back and the box. "While true," she says as she moves towards her dad's office. "It wouldn't hurt to get him in a good mood."

"Good luck," he calls out, his mouth full and powder flickering through the air. Veronica grins, giving him a two finger salute.

--vm--

It doesn't take much to get her dad in a good mood because her dad was usually in a good mood. Even when he's had bad days at work (or bad days at home when her mom was around) he'd always smile and ask her how her day was. Keith Mars was special like that.

He was the father that never wanted his daughters to see bad days. And when they did, he always tried his best to make it better.

She smiles as he eats the doughnuts and goes on about Cliff's ideas for the Christmas party. Cliff McCormack was her dad's best friend and public defender - the tales they could tell when put in a room together were unbelievable.

She feels nerves worrying her insides because she doesn't really know how to word her request. Taking in a breath, she tries to sound chipper instead of nervous, "I got a job at the mall today."

"Ah, my action figure daughter in the line of retail business," he quips, eyes landing on her as though he were reading her mind. She tries to maintain her smile and he arches a brow, deadpanning, "You hate the mall."

"I like the food court," she gives him a helpless shrug. "And it's less retail and more sit at a desk and answer the phone kinda gig."

He nods, following her words and says, "You mean a receptionist."

"Mmhmm, that," she swallows, letting out a breath. "It's at Van Lowe Investigations."

She catches the exact moment the shock hits him and she tries to mentally revise her counter points for anything he might say. "You wanna work for Vinnie Van Lowe? You've hated him ever since he stole your lollipop when you were nine years old."

Her brows crease, her debates fade away and she wrinkles her nose. "Was that why? I figured it was just 'cause he's annoying."

"So, pry tell, daughter of mine, why do you wanna work with someone that would steal candy from a kid?"

"Beats serving coffee at Java the Hut," she sighs. "He said I could get on the field if I wanted," she peaks at him underneath her lashes and sees the frown. "Nothing hardcore but like taking pictures. You know I have an affinity for photography. I know most of the work will he tedious tasks but there's more opportunity to learn about the things I like. Plus, I get study time while I'm at work so it's like I'm getting paid to study, isn't that cool?"

"Okay," he says, after moments of silence fills the air.

"Okay?" She squeaks out.

"Okay," he repeats. "I don't want you doing more than what you've told me," he tells her, clear and deliberate.

Her heart pounds against her chest, she wasn't expecting him to give in so easily. Her lips fall into an uneasy smile and she jokes, "So no sorting out the files?"

"Outside of your receptionist duties," he clarifies. "You can take pictures but nothing of the dangerous kind. And when you are going on stake outs, you make sure to take Backup with you. If you're working outside the office area, you need to let me know where you are."

"Okay," she nods, he's talking in an all business manner and she's still stuck on the fact that he's already said okay.

"I want you to do things you enjoy, Veronica and you must really want this if you're willing to work with Vinnie. His moral compass is skewered. He'd rather get a bigger paycheck than do what's right. I don't want you to compromise your morals for a job."

"I won't," she clarifies, her eyes staring into his, silently giving him the thank you that's fluttering inside her.

"You sure you wouldn't rather work at Java the Hut? You'd get employee discount on coffee. I doubt Vinnie's even got a kettle in there."

She laughs, relieved and bewildered as she remarks, "Oh, he is gonna get me a coffee machine."

--vm--

Veronica has her laptop propped up on the centre of the table and pizza from Cho's ready in a cardboard box for them to dig into.

Meg's already pixelated on the screen in her Care Bears pajamas. "Pizza, again?" Meg arches her brow, giving us that disapproving look of hers.

"Would you look at this?" Veronica holds up her pizza and points out, "It's mushrooms."

"And peppers," Heather helpfully adds with an eager smile as she holds up her slice of pizza to the camera too.

"Yeah, covered in greasy cheese," Meg shakes her head. "You better be having fruits for dessert."

"Mmmm," Veronica hums, thinking of adding the maraschino cherry on top of her sundae that she'd been thinking about for the entire day. "For sure, fruits will be involved."

"Have you guys picked out a tree yet? If you wait for me all the good ones will be gone."

"Daddy and I are going tomorrow," Heather chirps her answer. "Ronica's going to Aspen with Logan."

"Dad's letting you go to Aspen with Logan?" Meg lets out, unable to mask her surprise.

"It's not just me with Logan," Veronica says, shooting a glare to Heather. "It's a group thing. Wallace will be there. So will Mac."

Meg makes humming noises in acceptance. "Just be careful, Vee."

"You know me Veronica Overly Precautious Mars," she chimes before biting into her pizza.

"Where's dad?"

"He's on a date with Alicia," Heather provides, happy and proud.

Veronica sighs, she'd wanted to say that dad was working late.

"Wallace's mom?" Meg let's out, her mouth dropping into a surprised open gasp.

"Mmmhmm," Heather hums and details her enthusiasm for the pairing.

Veronica loves Alicia, she loves the whole Fennel family and so does Meg but it's a delicate situation when you find out your dad is going on dates and living a life you don't know anything about. Veronica had wanted to tell her when she got home - break the news in steps so Meg could see it and feel like she was apart of it. She should have expected Heather to spoil her plans of being subtle. Heather is everything but subtle.

--vm--

"Is that coffee I smell? And doughnuts?" Veronica pipes, a smile of awe falling on her face as she reaches Logan.

"A thank you for waking up early," he tilts his head and leans in to meet her mouth. She hums against his lips, kissing him a good morning.

"Keep this up and early bird could be my new nickname," she grins, happily accepting the offered coffee and doughnuts.

It's gonna be a long trip to Aspen but Logan's glad that it's one he's spending with Veronica by his side.

[itoshit]

'Ken? What are you doing here that late?'

'Emma, could I speak to you for a minute?'

Worry and apprehension on Emma's face, she nodded and brought me on her bed.

'Tell me Ken, I'm listening'

With a reassuring smile she encouraged me to speak but at that moment I didn't know where to start.

'I can't give you what you want. I wasn't sure at first but now I know, I don't feel the same way as you do. You and I, us, we weren't meant to be. I honestly thought that it was before but now I know. My heart belongs to someone else. I'm so sorry because I gave you hope for nothing at the end but-'

'Who...? Who do you love Ken?'

Her voice cracking while tears were forming in her eyes, I couldn't bear the sight. Hurting Emma was the last thing I wanted.

'I don't think-'

'Please tell me Ken. I need to know who stole your heart first?'

'... Vee'

Only sighting she wiped the tears away while keeping her gaze low.

'I knew it... I just knew it. It was too good to be true'

'What d'you mean?'

As I was approaching my hand to hers Emma slapped my hand harshly and stood up.

'Don't touch me Draken. You lost this privilege'

'Emma...'

'Emma what?? Were you aware of your feelings when we got together?? Did you know you wanted her instead of me? Maybe you were secretly picturing her when you were kissing me?'

'No I didn't! Because I realised my feelings today! That's why I'm here, because I don't want to hold you back forever while my soul is destined to somebody else! That's all!!'

Now sobbing louder than before Emma turned her back to me. Her figure shaking at each sob leaving her body made my heart sting.

'I've been loving you since kids, Draken. I've always loved you. From the very first time we've met my heart beat for you and only you. I've never thought you would return my feelings but during these past few months I was finally hoping. You were so nice and warm to my presence. I could see the adoration in your eyes each time Vee was brought on the table and I hoped you were talking about me with the same strength and passion. When we kissed for the first time, my body was ready to explode and I was seeing the bright future I wished to have with you. And now you're telling me that we won't have that...? Never...?'

Standing up and walking to her I brought her into my arms. Emma nuzzled her face in my chest and I knew that my hoodie would be drenched. But I didn't care.

'Emma, I love you. Sincerely, I do love you. Hey look at me'

Caging her face between my hands forcing her to look at me, I wiped the tears away with my thumbs.

'I just don't love you the same way as you do'

'And you love her like I do with you'

I was hurt to see her like this.

'Yes, yes I do.'

'Will you be happy with her? Are you sure she will bring you everything you need...?'

'I'm 200% sure of it'

'That's too much!'

Both chuckling at her comment while she sniffled loudly, she looked at me deeply.

'Can you... can you hug me one last time, please?'

'Of course, come here'

The embrace felt like farewells somehow and by the way Emma was holding me, she felt it too.

'Please don't get out of my life Ken, I need you and will always do'

Pressing her closer I kissed the top of her head, stroking her back.

'I never thought of leaving, you're stuck with me'

'Okay... thank you. I'm better now. As long as you're happy, I'm happy. So just, go back to her alright? She must be waiting for you'

'You're the best Emma, I love you!'

After our discussion I briefly explained to Mikey everything and himself looked relieved.

Biding the Sano family goodnight I got on my motorbike and drove away.

I didn't call you yet because I wanted to surprise you. I knew you were waiting for me so you were still awake. That way we could also, maybe, finish what we've started before.

Stopping at a random traffic lights I heard motorbike engine behind me. I didn't give much thought about it at first because owning a motorbike was pretty common in Tokyo, especially around Shibuya.

'And what do we have here...? The infamous Ken Ryuguji! Hey Hanma, that's him right?'

Raising an eyebrow under my helmet visor I scoffed at the view.

Shuji Hanma and four other men, all with bats on their motorbikes.

'Yo Ken-chin, what would you say if I broke your leg hm?'

Tightening my grip on the motorcycle handlebars, I cursed.

'What d'you want Hanma? I'm busy'

'Shouldn't we take somewhere more private? Let's park'

I knew he wouldn't let go before obtaining what he wanted, so I decided to follow him and the others.

Spatting some blood I was on my knees, clutching my stomach.

The bastard reopened the wound.

'Oi why are you so slow tonight? Is it because I saw your pretty bestfriend earlier? Jealous much?'

His chuckle disgusted me.

'Shut the-'

But as I was standing up one of his friends hit me in the face, probably breaking my nose.

Blood pouring profusely from it I could feel consciousness slipping through my fingers. Blow after blow my body fell limply on the ground.

Sorry Vee, seems like I won't get to see you tonight.

-Draken

OKAY TELL ME ABOUT YOUR IDEA CONCERING MIKEY'S THOUGH? BC IM AFRAID I DONT HAVE TOO MUCH IN MIND RN

OH MY GOD— MAN I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA BE HAPPY!!!!

I sigh reading the digital clock on my bedside table. It’s been hours since he left, and Ken still hasn’t shown any signs of life. Ugly feelings stir in my gut no matter how much I try to push them away.

What if… he didn’t mean it?

What if what he felt for me was just lust? That as soon as he saw Emma, all that love came flooding back into him?

Grabbing my phone, I click his contact name and put the receiver to my ear. I couldn’t survive on what ifs. They’d drown me. I had to know the truth of the matter, accept whatever the outcome of the situation was. It rings once, twice and a third time before it reaches voicemail. I frown. Ken’s phone was always on him, always charged.

I try and call again, same thing.

I don’t know how to feel, or what to think. I’m ready to go storm the brothel myself and demand answers, when my phone suddenly rings. I answer it without looking, already thinking it’s Ken.

Ken Ryūguji where are you?

Vee, a voice comes through the speaker, much lighter than Ken’s and sounding very, very panicked.

Mikey, is Ken still with you? I’ve been trying to call him and he hasn’t been answering his phone.

Vee, we’re at the hospital. Ken’s been attacked.

The phone slips out of my fingers, falling to the ground as my stomach sinks.

[koganphrancis]

Nancy Pimental is so full of shit-I’ve been meaning to break down this article since the season finale.  

                                                                                                                            TVLINE | Several characters asked if Ian was on his meds, but we never got an answer. Did you intend to leave it on an ambiguous note?

Yes. With Ian, we constantly want the reminder that he does suffer from bipolar disease, and you never know with somebody who’s bipolar whether their actions and their behavior are just because they’re a passionate person, who’s just being self-expressed and finding themselves and finding a new hobby or direction. Or is it, “Oh wow, no, that is bipolar disease rearing its ugly head.” And also, as far as the meds, from research that we’ve done and the people that we know and the conversations that we’ve had about bipolar, the meds are so tricky. Because, I guess, people start to feel good, so then they don’t take the meds. But then they start to feel themselves going down the rabbit hole, so they take it, or they self-medicate, or they change. The meds constantly have to be re-calibrated. We wanted it to be ambiguous because it’s a hard question to answer. Because he probably takes it sometimes, and not other times.

“Constantly want the reminder”????  This from the show that said showing whatever the hell had Ian magically stable in Season 6 was zzzzz and they had been there, done that with his disorder?  Fuck you, Nancy-the real deal is you don’t give a shit about Ian’s character and you just throw things into his story figuring anything goes at this point and you can retcon anything you want, anytime you want.  “The meds constantly have to be re calibrated”-however, we don’t bother showing or even talking about Ian getting any kind of professional care for his condition-EVER.  And “several” characters (only three,but I guess that is more than a couple) asked ONCE OR TWICE if he was on his meds, but there was never any follow up when clearly they weren’t working even when he told Fiona he was taking them.  I did agree with Ian’s speech to Fiona that he was allowed to have emotions, but the fact that he was physically violent (throwing the ice water on her several days in a row) and making her cower when he yelled at her about those emotions was so out of character for him-and no one cared.  (And, I could be wrong, but I just don’t think Ian would be capable of showing that violence towards her.  I have a brother who is schizophrenic and even at his most agitated, he’s incapable of any type of violence because he has a gentle nature.  I don’t know if it’s the same with people who have bipolar disorder, but as far as I know, it doesn’t cause you to have a personality CHANGE-people have their high highs and low lows, but not violent, destructive outbursts unless that’s part of their personality anyway, from anything I’ve ever read.)  

I saw a tweet the other day complaining about people wishing Mickey had been in Season 8 because that would have magically cured Ian/made him stable and that bipolar doesn’t work like that.  I didn’t wish Mickey back because I thought he could’ve stopped everything Ian was going through, but I do think if he had been around a lot of the stuff that happened would’ve had to have been acknowledged instead of just dropped by the next episode, or even within the episode, never to be brought up again.  The show has established that Ian’s family and then Faileb and Terror don’t deal with Ian’s issues caused by his disorder at all, but Mickey did.  There were plenty of times he was just as helpless as anyone else when it came to trying to reign Ian in, but he was also the only one trying.  The family throws up their hands and says, “He’s just like Monica,” and Terror stops paying attention to anything Ian’s going through the minute he realizes it’s not about him (Faileb did that too).  Mickey was our boots on the ground-for the viewers that still care about Ian, he was the one that watched Ian through our eyes, and even when there wasn’t anything he could do to help, he was still aware of what Ian was doing, of what was happening to him.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

TVLINE | Has Ian’s behavior changed Trevor’s feelings for him? Is there hope for the two of them?

I don’t think there’s hope for them. Ian’s behavior has definitely changed Trevor’s feelings. Seeing how Ian had this kind of God complex… His actions started off pretty altruistically, but then he kind of turned a little megalomaniacal. That has turned Trevor off, for sure.

I can’t begin to express how hard I’m hoping this is true.  Like I said, if this ISN’T what happens after she said this?  Fans are gonna riot in the streets.  But I can also see her backpedaling and saying how when the writers got back and discussed where they want the show to go (and John Wells reminded them that it’s a network mandate that they have a trans character so Terror needs SOMETHING to do), they decided to keep on trying to make this “couple” a thing-because heaven forbid anyone other than Ian needs to learn about trans issues or could be in a relationship with a trans person.  

Also, I love her saying “seeing how Ian had this kind of God complex”-um, Nancy dear, we didn’t SEE that at all, since all those scenes seemed to have been cut.  Terror’s last speech about Ian being all into people worshiping him made zero sense, since Ian was only shown to be bemused about people even wanting to listen to him, let alone worship and adore him.  Watch your own shitty show, Nance-I had to, so should you.  

Not to mention the correct short answer to this is: There was never hope for the two of them.  

From the start, the fans weren’t buying this odd couple-Terror looked and acted way too young for Ian, and then the little we learned about his “character” was all insufferable.  He supposedly guides troubled youths and yet he tells Ian to “get over” a lifetime of neglect and abandonment from his mother, tells Ian his mother was “kind of crazy” when he knew she had bipolar and for all we know knew Ian has it as well, advised Ian to have meaningless sex with a stranger when he was mourning his mother even though he knew of Ian’s past as a teenage sex worker...the list goes on and on and on-why Nancy is acting here as if Ian’s actions in this past puzzling season are what makes them not work as a couple is bullshit.  

                                                                                                                              TVLINE | I was so happy and relieved to see Carl get on that bus to military school, and I’m kind of hoping he doesn’t come back because I’m worried for him. Were you purposefully trying to make Carl and Kassidi the modern-day equivalent of Frank and Monica?

Yeah, one hundred percent. Somebody else just asked me about that. They were like, “Why would you do that to Carl?” I’m like, “Because it’s Monica and Frank, and it’s all Carl knows! That’s his role model of love.”

Carl was too young to ever have had Frank and Monica as his role model of love (she was gone for most of his life)-the couples he saw that were actually in love were Mickey and Ian and Kev and Vee (waaaaay back in the day-before Kev went off to college with Lip and became the Rape Walker).  So, again, fuck you, Nancy-quit discounting everything Mickey meant to the show and quit acting like things that never happened (Carl learning about relationships by observing his parents) happened.

                                                                                                                              TVLINE | How much of his relationship with Sierra and his feelings for her were real? He’s sort of questioning it, so should we be questioning it, as well?

It’s kind of like how we all question things in our lives and relationships and feelings. You can say, “Yes, I loved this person,” but then the more you work on yourself or become self-aware, it’s like, “Wait, did I really love that person? Or did I love the dysfunction of it?” Fiona’s gone through a lot of that, too: “Did I just love the chaos? Did I love the co-dependency of it?” I don’t know if we ever know the real answer. But I think who he was in that moment, he did love her. But was that booze talking? Was that because it just reminded him of the role models he had, Frank and Monica? Was it that that’s all he knows? It’s a complex question that doesn’t necessarily have a real answer, I guess.

Another question that has a short answer:  He was never in love with her.  We jammed that in at the end-them exchanging the words-just to break them up 20 minutes later.  We never showed a single reason or personality trait that Lip would love her for-intellectually they’re not compatible at all, emotionally she was just as lost as he was...we need to show Lip having robust hetero sex even when we’re trying to tell you he’s so drunk there’s no way he wouldn’t have whiskey dick, but that’s just how we do around here.  

                                                                                                                              TVLINE | I want to start off with the ending, and that image of Lip driving off on his motorcycle. What feeling did you want to leave the season off on with that?

That anything is possible for Lip, and that he is in control of his life, and that he’s taking his life back and has freedom to be him.

And yet there’s nowhere for him to ride off to-at the end of the episode he’s back in the Gallagher living room and now we’ve given him a child to either raise or to be forgotten about, just like Molly Milkovich, but I digress.  Bottom line is, he’s still stuck where he’s always been, where all the triggers and reasons for his drinking are.  This whole season no one moved forward.  Even Carl went “back” to school.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   TVLINE | Ford has been a different kind of love interest for Fiona, one who’s a bit aloof. He even said that he doesn’t fall madly in love like a teenager. Is that good enough for Fiona?

I think it is, because [it’s] kind of like what we were just talking about with Lip. When you fall in love like a teenager, you do, as an adult, start questioning whether that’s real love or not. So when you don’t fall in love like a teenager, you actually take space and time to get to know somebody for who they are, as opposed to what they represent for you. So it’s really good for her.

                                                                                                                          TVLINE | Do you see them as having a real future together?

I don’t know. We definitely want to keep it alive, for sure. But we haven’t really necessarily talked about future future stuff yet. We definitely want to explore it. We don’t want to kill it yet.

Ford is the latest in a long line of white bread boring guys we foist on Fiona, because she too needs to be having lots of robust hetero sex.  He was as condescending as Faileb, and did you notice he answers most of Fiona’s questions with questions?  He’s so fake deep and “finding himself” and the whole thing about making Fiona wait (and sort of work for) sex was actually quite explicable when you heard he spends his time impregnating the entire lesbian community of Chicago-poor guy’s dick has been rubbed raw, he had to hold Fiona off till he could stick it in without whimpering.  

                                                                                                                              TVLINE | Debbie and Derek’s situation left off on an open-ended note. Is she seriously considering sharing custody of Franny with him?

I think yes. That’s probably the direction we’re going to go. We wanted to show Debbie having some change, and growing up and realizing she needs to put what’s best for Franny in the foreground, and not necessarily hold a grudge. I think she’s matured somewhat. She’s worked hard this season, and certainly had some bumps and bruises, to say the least, but she’s worked hard at providing for Franny, in her own way.

Literally no one gives a shit.  The show could return and we could say Debbie won Derek back and moved to his military base with him and Franny and the fans would be fine with never seeing her again.  

[lynccycling]

Humpday got you feeling down? In an uninspired funk and can’t get out? Not feeling motivated to chase your goals? We feel you, it happens. Which is why each LYNC instructor has tools to stay focused & on their game. Take a scroll down motivation lane and maybe pick up a tip or two to get you back on track.

Becca

I loooovvvvveeee taking Teddy on a walk or run (whatever Ted is feeling that day) and leaving my phone at home to be in my own headspace and one with nature if we go through Arbor Hills! I also love to listen to one of my new fav podcast “The Last Podcast on the Left” which is about anything from conspiracy theories to true crime or historical facts (history has ALWAYS been my fav subject) while cooking or cleaning around the house! Maybe its the Mexi in me but cleaning is a huge reliever for me! Clean house = happy lil becky!

Our favorite cleaning products? Mrs. Meyers infused with essential oils.

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Grace

I LOVE getting in my kitchen and cooking a yummy meal. I always start with a trip to the grocery store (probs Trader Joes) to pick up the ingredients.. I'm one of those weird humans that find grocery shopping SO therapeutic. I am currently OBSESSED with Alex from the Defined Dish, who just so happens to be a Dallas gal!  One of my favorites right now is her Shrimp Remoulade Lettuce Cups recipe! Of course, finishing it off with some healthy sweet treats, like this Banana Bread! 

This all happens while I'm listening to one of my favorite light hearted podcasts,  The Lady Gang.  When things get off track, a good belly laugh and a great healthy meal is always a great reset!

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Avery

I start my day with quiet time every morning accompanied by my devotional (@jesuscalling) and podcasts The Porch.

After quiet time, I take about 5-10 minutes every hour at work to listen to a few songs that make me happy (no shocker that Jess Glynne and Betty Who are at the top for me rn)

After work, I love walks on the Katy Trail or White Rock Lake, wine bars (leelas always) and cooking meals with my friends (favorite food blogger is definitely skinny taste). At night I try my hardest to unplug and focus on friends/family as much as possible.

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Andrew

This music definitely isn’t everyone’s thing, but the band August Burns Red has picked me up when I’m down, pushed my butt through tough workouts, gotten me focused at work, you name it, more times than I can count. Their lyrics are really powerful, and they wrote one of my all time favorites:

“Don’t excuse yourself from life today on the pretense of your past.” Let that sink in.

Alt response: I pet my dog or take him for a walk if he’s nearby, or just look at pictures of him on my phone because he’s stinking cute and it’s a good reminder that I need to keep it together for the people who love me and doggos that depend on me.

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Ashleigh

One of my favorite things to do (other than a good sweat sesh on the bike) is surfing. I used to go out to California and surf at San Clemente beach all the time when I was younger. It was a great way to slow down my mind and be focused on the present moment. HOWEVER there aren’t many beaches in d-town so I usually hop into a pool and swim it out or roll out my yoga mat at Hot Body Yoga. It’s a great way to control my breathing and something about being under water is relaxing to me.

When I need to get sh!t done, one of My favorite coffee shops is Global Peace. You can usually find me there writing or emailing with a cappuccino in hand. Also I LOVE coffee. Oh did I say love, I meant I’m addicted. Same thing right?

I’m also a BIG fan of live music and on the weekend if anyone is in town playing I try to make an effort to go out and support. It helps me get out of my head and is a good excuse to just sit back and enjoy some of my favorite tunes. My must see bands are: night riots, jet black alley cat, band Camino, State champs, Greta Van Fleet and Marianas Trench.

Look up concerts near you. One of our favorite venues? Granada theater!

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Liz

I love, and wish I did it more, putting my phone away when I’m home and being in the moment with my family (but of course grabbing it to document Noah dance parties and special memories). Five minutes with my son (if he is napped and fed 🙈) can cure five bad days. 

Between teaching/training clients/and all the hustle I also really enjoy silence. I rarely listen to music while driving nowadays because I’ve found that my mind tries to start programming and/or choreographing whenever a song is playing- so having quiet time to disconnect is important. I also love to jump in a class and go into student mode.

Check out 10 apps to help you put down your phone and get back to the moment.

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Jaz

When the weather is nice, I love doing outdoor activities and being near water! Paddle boarding, swimming, and BBQing are my go-to day-off favs. I also enjoy a homemade coffee in the morning to kick start my day and going out back to wake up and check on my pepper plants and succulents. Planting is very peaceful to me. I love watching things grow.

Check out this 101 on starting your own herb garden.

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Sydney

Outside of teaching, I love group fitness and enjoy taking classes at LYNC and around Dallas to let out nervous energy. I like to decompress by reading, listening to podcasts, and listening to LANY and John Mayer.

I listen to The Morning Toast and The Lady Gang - totally light hearted, but makes me bust out laughing in the car and puts me in a good mood before teaching.

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Kayla

To stay motivated, I read... a lot. I read everything from nonfiction true crime stories and self development books to fiction novels to self-published articles on Medium. You can catch me searching my inbox at the Barnes & Noble check-out line for a coupon for a new book or sitting at Mudleaf Coffee shop (a super cool space in Plano) with headphones in listening to Audible.

My go-to read is anything by Brené Brown (Daring Greatly is my fave). She is a vulnerability researcher, specializing in shame. (wow, couldn’t we all dive a little deeper into that?) 

I also love to listen to Gary Vee’s Podcast to keep me focused in the business world. He touches on marketing tactics, struggles in business and life, leadership development and more–and TBH he’s just brutally honest and sometimes I just need a good kick in the ass and for someone to tell it to me straight.

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Shannon

I like to take 10-15 minutes out of my morning to meditate to help level set me at the beginning of my day. My favorite app is “10% Happier” because it has courses, guided and unguided meditations and you can customize the time to whatever fits your schedule!

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Kelsey

I love a good story. I’m old school and really enjoy going to the bookstore and getting a physical copy. Lately my favorites have been ‘This Is How It Always Is’ and ‘Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine’. Put it with quiet time outside in the sun or snuggled with coffee and my puppy in the morning - foolproof feel good.

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Olivia

I love going to Title Boxing to punch out all of my feelings. Whether I need a release or am excited and want to celebrate an hour of hard work–gallons of sweat at Title is always the move for me. 

I also love to take long walks on the weekends with my fave gal pals, Allison, Leina, Izzy, and Madeline to La La Land Kind Cafe or Bird Bakery. We almost always indulge in a sweet treat which for me is the perfect way to celebrate a week well done.

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Izzy

The main thing I do at the moment to recharge is get a good nights sleep. Being in bed by 9pm really excites me, haha!

Also, getting some vitamin D and tanning by the pool on the weekends always puts me in a good mood. I usually end up falling asleep there too lol.

Catch this guided sleep meditation for a little shut eye to keep your mind right and our favorite SPF to lay out in the sun.

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Lindsey

I’d say personal time is the best way to recharge for me! I love walking the Katy Trail while getting out for some sunshine or hot yoga. Hot yoga is such a release for me because It not only calms the mind but gives me a good stretch! My favorite hot Yoga is at Core Power.

I’ve recently been loving EVERY recipe from The Defined Dish who makes clean/easy/whole30 approved meals. Her meals are so tasty and simple to make! Feel good guilty treat that is guaranteed to make any day better is ice cream!

Calling my family always lifts me up and keeps me rooted!  I also really try to put my phone down while at home for 30 minutes at the end of the day and engage in something other than scrolling mindlessly on social media which helps me reconnect with myself and surroundings.\

[sabraeal]

Merry and Bright: Part 3

It’s strange, the way memory can carry you.

It’s been six years since Obi’s been in this house, three times as long as he ever lived here, but still his feet guide him like the difference between seventeen and twenty-four is a day. He turns left, turns right, and then he’s standing in the bathroom at the end of the hall just like he did every day before school, squinting blearily at his reflection and grimacing. It’s like he never left.

When he’s more awake a few minutes later, washing his hands and splashing water on his face, he wonders if he ever truly did.

He shuffles down the hallway after, scratching at the shiny lump of scar tissue that cuts across his chest. It’s been itching like crazy since last night. His shoulder twinges too, nagging for relief. He should ask Doc about it -- she’s got those tiny fingers, perfect for digging into the meat of his shoulder and unraveling those painful knots, but --

But he knows what she’ll say, what she speculates might be going on in his headspace. She’s not -- she wouldn’t be wrong, not even a little, but he doesn’t need the psych eval right now. He just just needs to -- to get through the week. And try not to jab her with his dick in the night while he’s at it.

He scrubs his hand over his face, stubble rasping over his palm. Just two goals. Setting the bar low.

Obi’s got a feeling it’s still not low enough.

At the top of the stairs, he starts tugging on his shirt, trying to get the cotton to cover the bulk of his scar without having to button up a suspicious amount -- the last thing he needs is Gayle asking questions, or, god, trying to see it -- when he hears murmuring from the kitchen. For a moment he’s struck by the visceral feeling of being in trouble; he’s on his feet now, but it feels like he’s crouched against the banister, listening to serious voices saying things like adjustment periods and family cohesion. The words disruptive influence surface from his past like some monster from the deep. He churns them over endlessly, paralyzed by the memory. His chest is tight, he can hardly breathe; it’s like he’s already got one foot out the door everywhere he goes --

And then he hear her, the bell-like ring of her laugh, and he can breathe again, can think again. All his ghosts are banished.

For now at least. A temporary fix for a long term problem. A temporary fix that has a long term boyfriend is more like it.

Another bell jingles through the house, obnoxious and twee, and Obi finds himself staring down a flight of stairs into a pair of beady eyes set into a cloud of black-and-tan fluff. By habit, he bows his head. “Your Lordship!”

As if flattery has ever placated the Baron.

As much a tattle-tale as ever, the little ball breaks out into hysterical barking, dancing around in agitated circles to alert his masters to the clear intruder on the second floor.

“I see you’re still too stupid to know how stairs work,” Obi deadpans, glaring down as the Baron tries to gnaw on the banister, personally offended by its presence. “I guess you can’t teach a new dog new tricks either.”

“Obi?” Gayle’s voice calls up, unsure. “That you, honey?”

He opens his mouth to reply, but he’s not given the opportunity. Instead, he hears a barstool screech, and Doc blurts out, “I’ll go get him!”

She wheels around the corner, bounding up the stairs like a red-haired missile, shoving him back into the bathroom and slamming the door.

“Woah, Doc,” he says, trying to ignore the way her hand is splay over his chest, the way her hips trap him up against the rim of the sink. Yeah, this is just what he needs; he finally fells his morning wood and then this happens. Great. Great. “Where’s the fire?”

“I have to talk to you.” She isn’t looking at him, just staring at the base of his throat like somehow that has answers.

He lets out a long breath. He can handle this, it’s -- it’s fine. “Okay.”

She hesitates, her shoulders heaving with the harsh rhythm of her breath. He’s not sure what’s gotten into her, why she looks like she’s run a mile at ten in the morning, but it can’t be anything good. The longer it takes her to drum up her courage to speak, the more worried he gets; not about the content of what she has to say, but about -- about the journey she’s had there. Doc’s clever; she thinks a mile a minute, but she’s also prone to get caught up in her own bad thoughts, letting them go around and around in a loop until she’s worked up, upset about a grain of sand she’s turned into a mountain in her own mind.

She’s taking too long. He leans back, his hands curling around the rim of the sink, and drawls, “You know, if you take much longer, they’re going to think we’re doing something else in here besides just talking.”

That does the trick. Doc flushes an alarming shade of red, and he thinks she’ll step away, put some space between them, but --

“We can’t tell them,” she blurts out, her words jostling out of her like they’re in a rush. Like if she doesn’t say them quick they’ll miss their train. “About us, I mean. The not dating thing. We can’t tell them we’re not dating.”

“Are you --” he can’t even believe he’s saying the words -- “asking me to lie?”

“No! I mean, yes, but...” She wrings her hands, mouth similarly twisted. “They’d just -- I don’t want them to be disappointed. In you.”

“Doc, please,” he laughs, rolling his eyes. “I think my -- Bob and Gayle are already well aware I’m a fuck-up. This is not going to come as a surprise.”

“Obi.” There she is, the girl he knows, eyes steely and jaw set. He should have know this would bring her out. “Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

He knows better than to push it, to tell her it’s true.

“All right,” he says instead, leaning subtly forward, crowding her without moving a step. “We don’t tell them. But are you prepared for that?”

She blinks. “Prepared for what?”

Ah, good. This will work like a charm.

“You’re going to have to pretend we’re together.” His voice drops deep into his chest, almost a purr. The pink flush of her skin spreads down to where her -- where his sweatshirt isn’t zipped to cover. He smirks, bending near her ear. “That means no asking for a separate bed tonight.”

Her nose twitches, rabbit-like in her indignation. “Fine.”

“You’ll have to say sweet things about me.”

“I already do that,” she reminds him. “All the time.”

His heart flutters inconveniently at that, the little traitor. Far less suave than he’d like, he blurts out, “You might have to kiss me.”

Her face does something odd, a little shiver that masks her reaction. Then she is learning forward, hands braced beside his on the sink, chin tilted up in challenge. This close, he’s struck by how dark her eyes are, like looking up through a forest on a rainy night. “If that’s what it would take.”

He’s never heard that tone from her, low and hoarse and -- and sultry. His heart picks up its pace, pumping blood to even more inconvenient places. “Doc --”

The knock on the door sends them spiraling away from one another, both of them eager to put some plausible distance between them.

“If you two are about finished,” Bob offers dryly through the door, “Gayle says the pancakes are done. She’s grumbling something fierce about Obi looking skinny.”

“We’ll, uh --” Doc seems to run out of words.

“Be right down,” he finishes, arching a bow. He sweeps a hand toward the door. “After you.”

Bob’s the first to go down the stairs, which is great since it gives Shirayuki plenty of time to think about how she would like the earth to swallow her whole. She’s stepped out of the bathroom, Obi not far behind, and all Bob has to do is lift one single eyebrow -- so like another expression she knows -- and her whole body breaks out in a blush.

He thought they were doing -- doing things in there. To each other.

What’s worse is that she wanted to. She’d had her hand splayed over his chest, half of it on the skin bared by the vee of his collar, feeling how his heart thrummed steadily against her palm, and oh, how she wanted --

“Hey,” Obi murmurs, too low for Bob to hear ahead of them. Despite herself, a tremor shudders down her spine, sending sparks over the surface of her skin. “You should check your phone.”

It’s like having ice water dumped over her. Her steps stutter at the landing, mind running though every worst-case scenario. Something’s happened to the turtles. Something’s happened to Yuzuri. Something’s happened to Ryuu --

“Is something wrong?” she ekes out before she can spiral too far, before she works herself into a panic.

He blinks slowly, shaking his head in an exaggerated motion that makes her think he’s not as awake as he pretends. “Nah. Chief’s just been looking for you is all.”

“Oh.” A thousand wings take flight in her stomach; she would have thought it was excitement once, that she was happy he was thinking of her, but -- but --

It’s not that anymore. It’s the low drone of bees, all her anxiety and guilt churning into an angry swarm that batters against the soft tissues of her gut. They haven’t talked for -- for a long time. Graduation at least, when he’d called her to congratulate her on walking. He’d been upset a few weeks before, hurt that they hadn’t chosen to go to Clarines, but it was the sort of impotent anger of someone raging against a situation. He hadn’t tried to change her mind, just said that’s disappointing in a way she knew meant you’ve disappointed me.

It’d been short then, just pleasantries, and then she’d gone to dinner with Obi and --

And that had been it for that. For her.

Shirayuki slips back to their room -- Obi’s room, she reminds herself; she’s the one who’s a guest here, who’s superfluous. She slips out her phone, flicking it awake. There’s no missed calls, no unread texts.

It’s not even a surprise. Not anymore.

She expects to her belly give an unpleasant swoop, to feel let down but -- but she doesn’t. She’s relieved. Obi’s always telling her things; Chief’s looking for you, he says now, but for the past three years it’s been he’s thinking of you, today Chief was talking about you, Chief says he’d like to hear your voice. Obi’s said more about Zen’s feelings for her than he ever had himself.

Shirayuki shakes her head. She’s not being fair.

This is just – this is nerves. She hasn’t talked to him in months, not for long, and it was bad enough when she just had the vague beginning of these feelings, but now – now –

There’s other things. Stuff she can’t just…forget.

Even if he does.

She punches the call button before she can talk herself out of it. It rings three times, and for a minute she thinks it might go to voicemail, she might just be able to avoid –

“Shirayuki?” Zen says, his tone a little tense. “Is something wrong?”

“Ah.” Yes. “No, I just…Obi said you were looking for me.”

“Oh. Oh.” She hears the scrape of a chair, and she realizes he’s leaving a room, that he’s going to go have a private talk with her. “Yeah, Mitsuhide had said you were traveling, and I wanted to make sure you got in okay.”

“Oh, yeah.” She taps her nails on the bedpost nervously. “Yeah, we got in late, but – we’re fine.”

His words have an odd edge when he asks, “You slept well?”

(His breath is hot on her neck, sending shivers straight down to her toes; she tries to move, she does, but all she does is wriggle closer to his hips and --

Oh. Oh.

They mostly fall asleep on the couch now, not some tiny single in his room. It’s been a while since she’s had to feel...things, and she’d...forgotten about that particular fact. Oh my.)

“Yes,” she squeaks. “Uh, as much as could be expected. It’s always weird to sleep in a new place.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, voice still strange. “Isn’t that saying it’s weird to sleep alone in a new place?”

“Is it?” Her palms are slick, and her stomach churns. It’s – it’s not any of his business, not really, not anymore. She’d worried that when they talked she’d feel guilty, feel like she’d betrayed some understanding they had, ruined something she liked but –

But she doesn’t feel anything. She just…doesn’t want to have an argument. Have their first argument, really. Not over this.

“Are you leaving for Switzerland soon?” she asks. “You’re going to celebrate with your mom and Izana, right?”

“And Haki, yes.” He sounds relieved at the turn in conversation. “I’m sure it’ll all be wedding talk. Mother wants them to have it at the Vineyard, Izana wants France, who knows what Haki wants…”

“Sounds…” She smiles. “Normal.”

“Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?” He hesitates. “I think it might actually be…nice.”

And that’s as much as a death knell as anything. She was never welcome to their chalet, and Zen…

Zen belongs there.

“I, um, have to get going,” she says, trying to cover her relief. “Obi’s parents made breakfast.”

“Man, it’s so weird to hear that,” Zen sighs. “Obi having parents. You know, after everything.”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “But it’s nice.”

He’s silent for a long moment. “It is.” He clears his throat. “I guess I’ll, um, see you then?”

“Yeah.” She nods, even though he can’t see it. “Sometime.”

“Sometime,” he agrees.