#it's totally definitely perfectly safe and nothing bad will happen ever. yup.

[doctorbrown]

Emmett smiles as if she's just told a joke only he's in on and completes the last of his pre-departure checks, deeming everything satisfactory for their next experiment. ❝The very idea is unorthodox, but there's little value in designing a time machine constrained to a single point in time. H.G. Wells was indeed onto something with his vision of a time machine, but it also just happens that designing it into the car was the most efficient method.❞

He steps away from the car, his expression shifting ever so slightly as he runs through a few final things in his head.

❝To your time, yes, hopefully, but unfortunately as it stands, I have no way of returning you to the exact place from which you left, not without somehow being able to recreate the anomaly that connected our two temporal events.❞ No, not without extensive modifications he can only dream at and the liberal use of far-future technology to integrate into the vehicle.

A starship! Planet Vulcan! The very knowledge that in a few short centuries, humans will be scattered about the stars the way they've scattered across the planet is dizzying; perhaps even more than he ever bargained for.

Fourteen short years ago, humanity achieved a feat once only believed possible in works of science fiction; the barrier of space had been breached, traversed, and a human being set foot on the moon. Not by a shot fired directly at the moon at her zenith with a projectile, but with rockets employing similar methods, bearing strong resemblance to the Columbiad.

And that had filled him with the same hope and wonder that devouring one of Jules Verne's works had, gluing him to his radio like so much of America for the monumental moment.

Now, in what will only be a few short centuries, spacecraft will become as commonplace as the automobile, and humanity will finally have the solution to the long-debated Fermi Paradox.

—He knows too much already.

❝So we may have to approach that from another angle.❞ But that is a problem to be tackled later. ❝We're ready to start.❞ He gestures to the passenger door, inviting her inside.

As he climbs into the driver's side himself, a thought strikes. ❝Enter a date on the keypad.❞

are you sure you’re up for this ? (who knows what nonsense doc and deanna have gotten up to now fjla;sjkdf)

"----i admit the method is a bit . . . unorthodox compared to what i'm used to seeing." deanna may be a science officer, but a lot of what the doctor works on is beyond her knowledge, including whatever this device is. it's related to time travel the way most of his machines tend to be, but - well, she worries. she's been trying her very best not to contaminate the timeline; earth isn't meant to discover warp speed for years, for instance. time travel still isn't exactly possible in her own era, except those done in accident - namely through wormholes and anomalies like the one that had displaced her.

it seems strange to consider that a machine could be the cause of time travel, but from what she's seen of the doctor's equations, they seem mathematically sound and his logic is reasonable.

"but i am ready for anything. i'm treating this as one great adventure and if your machine works, then it will be interesting to see where we end up." deanna hums thoughtfully. "maybe it will be a step forward in trying to return myself to my own time."

[sirowsky]

The Flowers Always Know

Description: When a mad scientist uses you as an experiment while you’re on holiday, the Heroics only just manage to save you. And in your recovery you become very close to the leader of the group. (Slow burn)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Language + severe triggerwarning for victims of domestic abuse.

Link to Masterlist

Comment: House-hunting, mole-hunting and Anita-hunting (sort of). And this chapter is like 95% conversation.

Chapter 32

  “Are you serious?”

  “What?”

  “That is way too big… What would we even do with all that?”

  “Hermosa, we fill the space we have. That’s not a euphemism, just a fact. If we have four rooms, we’ll fill those, and if we have twelve, we’ll fill those too.”

  “Who the fuck needs twelve rooms?”

  “It only has eight rooms.”

  “And there are only four of us.”

  “So, that’s it? No room to grow further?”

  “Honey, just how much are you anticipating this little family to grow? That’s a totally serious question, by the way. How many kids would you actually like to have?”

  “If your weird-ass body permits – like… four.”

  “Hey, who are you calling w…… did you just say four?”

  “Yup.”

  “What… including Missy, or… an additional four?”

  “I’m not picky. If we end up with just the two little miracles we have, I’ll still be the happiest man alive, but I wouldn’t mind having a bunch. Five, six, however many our love can create, I’ll be more than happy to nurture and raise and love all of them unconditionally, even when they inevitably pee on me.”

  You had no idea how to answer that, so you just stared at him. But he knew how ambivalent you were about all things concerning family, so he didn’t pose the question back to you, and instead just smiled while he watched the cogs in your mind struggle to fit together.

  “S-six… you’d be okay with another… six kids?”

  “Mhm.”

  “Fuck, Marcus, I’m struggling to even get it into my head that we’re gonna be joined by a tiny fragile infant in about 7 months, how are you already contemplating another five?!”

  “Relax, preciosa, I’m not actively contemplating it, I’m just answering a question. Saying I wouldn’t mind something, doesn’t mean I’m aiming for it.”

  “But you’re looking at houses with eight rooms…”

  “Like I said: we fill the space we have. Rooms have endless usages, it’s not like we have to make all of them bedrooms. We can have home-offices, a separate play-room, a separate dining room.”

  “Yeah, I get all that, it just seems excessive.”

  “Sweetheart, all I’m saying is, we’re looking for a home for life. If our family grows more, I don’t want to have to move again. I want the place we pick to be one that can take anything we weirdo’s throw at it.”

  “Okay, fine, I’ll look at the big-ass house.”

  “Thank you.”

  He handed you the phone and you scrolled through the different images, seeing things you liked and things you didn’t. But when you got to the master bedroom, your eyebrows shot up. The room looked ordinary at first glance, but when you took a closer look, you noticed that it had some special features.

  “Marcus… is this why you’re so interested in this house?”

  “It’s not the only reason…”

  “Who the fuck owns this place - Stormy Daniels?”

  “No, just some accountant.”

  “The bedroom is soundproofed.”

  “Which is convenient and useful for all kinds of people, but especially parents.”

  “Hard pass.”

  “We could just go and look at it before you dismiss it completely.”

  “Nope. Not happening. Move on.”

  “Why? Seriously, what’s so bad about it? Missy wouldn’t have to wear headphones every other night, and we wouldn’t have to worry about her overhearing stuff.”

  “Yes, those are good points. But: what if something happens to one of us, and the other needs to shout for help? What if something happens to Missy, and she tries to shout for help and we can’t hear her? What if someone breaks into the house, and we don’t hear it? I mean, I’m pretty sure you have super-hearing, but I don’t, and you’re not home every second of every day. I want to live in a house that speaks to me. You know, the way our house used to creak in the mornings when the sun warmed it, and settle again in the evenings, when it cooled. And if we are gonna have a bunch of kids, I sure as shit wanna be able to hear every little thing they get up to.”

  He looked ridiculously pleased at how you’d thought that through.

  “Got it, hard pass on all soundproofing. But can I ask you another serious question? One you might not have such a clear answer for?”

  “Sure.”

  “Our house… why did you send the whole thing over there? Why not just Prince and his machines?”

  “There wasn’t any thought involved with that, just instinct, and at the time, the house didn’t feel safe. I walked in and it was like entering a tomb. And I honestly don’t know if I could’ve ever walked in to that house again without having that feeling.”

  “I can understand that, mi amor. And I hope you know that I’m not asking because I’m in any way upset with you. I saw the look in your eyes in those moments, and I know how scared you were. To be able to utilise your abilities with that kind of precision and delicacy right then, was down-right miraculous.”

  “Let’s just hope I never have to try and repeat that miracle. Now, what’s next on your list?”

  He tapped away on his phone, blinking a few times at the wetness in his eyes, before handing it back to you.

  “Wow… this is even bigger.”

  “Same number of rooms, just a bigger kitchen and more garage-space.”

  “Oh, I like the yard.”

  “Check out the backyard.”

  “Holy… that’s huge! And a pool. We’d need guardrails around that, or I’d be perpetually terrified for the baby to fall in. Are those trees on the property as well?”

  “Yes. That whole little patch of woods is.”

  “Really? I mean, a pair of swings in those trees…”

  You were so engrossed in the phone that you didn’t see Marcus smile wider as he watched you fall in love with the place.

  “Oh, I love the kitchen. And there’s a fireplace! Those are beautiful floors. Holy shit – I could swim in that bathtub…”

  “Sooo…… you like it?”

  “I do.”

  “Enough to go have a look?”

  “Definitely. But Missy has to come too.”

  He beamed. You’d had a few long conversations about the house-hunting before you actually started, and after a meeting at the bank, you’d found out that your credit was basically more than big enough for anything you might want, which was an odd thing to try and get your head around. Not that you wanted a life of luxury, but it was sort of strange to realise that you actually could have practically any kind of life you chose, in terms of housing.   The two of you had settled on a firmly planted roof of expense that you were willing to extend to the purchase. And even though this house was huge and renovated to the nines with modern upgrades, that still managed to float seamlessly into the older stem and feel of the house, it wasn’t really particularly near that roof.

  “I’ll call the realtor and see if they can fit us in later this week.”

  “It’s a nice area. A little out of the way, but a good neighbourhood, and Missy wouldn’t have to change schools. Our commute to work would be a bit longer, but on quieter roads. And there’s a fence around the property. We could get a dog, or two. Or even a frickin’ pony with the size of that backyard.”

  Marcus just stared at you with that giddy smile firmly planted in his whole frame, while you rambled on, completely lost in your own thoughts, until his silence eventually made you snap out of it and look at him.

  “Oh, crap. I’m already moving in, aren’t I…?”

  He just laughed and hugged you.

  “I’m definitely on board with the dogs. But I’m gonna need my phone back if I’m gonna be able to call the realtor.”

  You quickly handed it back to him, just as there was a careful knock on the door.   You were in Marcus’s office, sitting in one of the sofas, perfectly naturally just sitting next to each other, for once. It had only been a week since you were released from medical, and he was still a little worried about getting you worked up, so you hadn’t been together yet, and it was creating something of a space between you. Not a wall, nothing that exclusive, just a little void that was a bit hard to reach across.   He called for the person to enter, and Will stepped in, immediately shooting an apologetic glance at Marcus. He still hadn’t quite recovered from seeing Cujo that time, even though Marcus had apologized for scaring him.

  “Hi, sorry, I was told I could find you here.”

  You smiled warmly at him to ease his discomfort.

  “What’s up, Will?”

  “Uh, Miss. Timmons is looking for you, she needs your help.”

  Oh, for fucks sake…

  “Let me guess; she screwed up her paperwork, again?”

  “Looks like it.”

  “Damned it, Izzy. Wait, why’d she send you to get me, you’re not an errand-boy, she couldn’t have picked up the phone?”

  “She did go looking for you in your office, but when you weren’t there, she got a little… desperate. She knows that she’s messed up too many times already, and I think she’s genuinely scared that you’re gonna fire her. She started crying outside your office and I was just passing by, so I offered to go find you for her.”

  “If I had the authority to fire her, I would’ve already done it.”

  You sighed and got up to leave, but Marcus caught your elbow.

  “You’re not gonna go back to work, right? We talked about that.”

  “If I know Izzy, this won’t be solved by correcting a few clerical errors.”

  “So, let someone else do it.”

  “No one else can, honey. That’s why I still have my job despite the number of sick-days I have.”

  “Preciosa… it’s dangerous. Prince’s people are in this building, and if he was obsessed with you, or us, then so are they. None of us can afford to be distracted right now.”

  “I know, but we still have to live. We’re still the same people, and neither one of us are the type of person that’s just gonna stand by when someone needs help. If the team needs you, I expect you to go and help them, not just because that’s your job, but because that’s who you are.”

  “Just don’t let yourself get too engrossed. Stay alert at all times. We have no idea who’s a friend and who isn’t.”

  “I’ll check in with you every hour, okay?”

  “Every half-hour. And just until you’ve sorted this mess out, then you come back and find me, you don’t start on another three problems you discover along the way.”

  “Are you giving me orders now, Team Leader?”

  He grabbed your hips and pulled you in close, so that your bodies were only millimetres apart and his nose was brushing against yours. It was more than enough to heat you up after six weeks of inactivity, but the tremble of emotion in his voice when he spoke next, pushed the desire aside, to make way for compassion.

  “I can’t lose you again. I’ll do anything…”

  You closed your eyes and rested your forehead against his. How many times had you lost each other already? Your ability made it so easy for you to feel like it was your job to save others, like it was what you were put in this world to do, and especially where your family was concerned. So, you had to start reminding yourself that while you would probably always be able to absorb anything bad that happened to them – you’d also always hurt them by doing that. Your ability came with a terrible price, and you were only lucky to have survived everything you’d been through thus far.   Marcus was right, you had to be more careful.   You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and nestled your nose into his neck. His arms closed around your waist and held you to him, strong and sure, and you felt like you could just stand there for the rest of the day.

  “I promise I’ll be careful, and not take any risks. I love you.”

  “Te amo, querida.”

  Will had moved to stand outside the door after Marcus started talking to you, but he fell in behind you when you walked past him.

  “So, where is she, and what has she done?”

  It felt really good to get back into something familiar and achievable again. To do something that generated an immediate response and result, and within fifteen minutes you suddenly understood why Marcus had been so worried. You got lost in the task in no time at all.   You sent him a text while you waited for a lawyer to call you back.

  [You’re right, I’m already cheating.]

  [How bad?]

  [Two other issues already solved, while I’m waiting to work out Izzy’s.]

  [Why are you waiting?]

  [Because lawyers always have something better to do.]

  [Fine. But as soon as it’s dealt with, you come back to me. I’ll be at the control centre.]

  [Promise. What’s going on?]

  [Just two small countries deciding to go to war over the quality of their chocolate.]

  [Well… I suppose there are worse things.]

  [They’re hurling missiles at each other over fucking candy…]

  [Wow… Where’s Máma when you need her?]

  [Don’t you worry, she’s right here, so this should be sorted out by the time you get here.]

  [Oh, in that case, I am so calling her Chocoreno from now on.]

  [Please don’t…]

  [Only if she doesn’t solve it.]

  [*sigh*]

  After another eight phone calls and a lot of grovelling to people you really didn’t like, you finally managed to set things straight, and went to find Izzy to give her a piece of your mind - again. But when you got to her office, she was on the phone and turned away from the door, so she didn’t see you come in, and you accidentally overheard the end of her conversation.

  “No, of course not, I’ll be straight home from work. Why would I make any stops? --- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you… --- No, baby, don’t… I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. --- Anything you want, name it. --- Yeah, that sounds.. nice. I’ll be home soon.”

  Shit.

  She turned around, looking absolutely terrified, and then she saw you by the door and quickly tried to adapt a neutral expression. She was good at it too, within half a second there was no trace of fear in her face. You only got that good at hiding your feelings if you knew that showing them meant terrible pain.

  “So, everything’s taken care of, no harm done.”

  “Really? Oh, thank you. I’m so sorry, I swear I don’t mean to mess up the papers, it just gets to be too much sometimes.”

  “Izzy, if I ask you a personal question, will you answer me honestly?”

  A trace of fear re-emerged in her features, but she nodded carefully.

  “Is it work that gets to be too much… or is it home?”

  You could see the internal struggle. The need to be free of the fear and the pain, and that same fear making it almost impossible. All the irritation and frustration fell away from you with the realisation that she wasn’t incompetent at all. She was being smothered.   How many times had you added to her stress and general feeling of inadequacy, by barking at her for constantly missing or screwing up doing things? Why hadn’t you seen the signs sooner, you knew every single one of them?

  “I’ve been where you are, Izzy. I should have seen this. I’m so sorry.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry for, honestly, I’m fine.”

  “Show me your arms and your stomach. If they aren’t bruised, I might believe you.”

  She squirmed where she stood, and her head dropped in defeat.

  “When was the last time you didn’t have an injury somewhere? When was the last time you could move without feeling pain somewhere?”

  She just kept staring at the floor, shaking her head, trying to will it not to be true, so you walked up to her, pushed your energy around her, and healed her.   The amount of energy that it drained from you, told you everything you needed to know about how injured she was, and you quickly reached into your back pocket to retrieve a pill from the small box you kept with you at all times these days.   Izzy stared wide-eyed at you, while you fumbled with a paper-cup at her water-cooler, hands shaking with the sudden loss of strength. Then she suddenly sprung to life and came to help you fill the cup and down the pill.

  “Jesus Christ, girl, how were you even standing with all that damage?”

  “I… got used to it over time. He didn’t… start out that bad.”

  “They never do.”

  “Thank you. So much.”

  “Thank me by letting me beat the living hell out of that guy.”

  “You’d better not. But… maybe… you could ask one of the guys on the team to… talk to him?”

  “Are you serious? You wanna stay with him? No, honey, no amount of talking is gonna fix him.”

  “No, I meant like… talk him into not killing me for leaving him.”

  “Oh… Yeah. That I could probably do. Just give me his name and address.”

  You downed another pill, and started feeling better, while Izzy scribbled on a note for you. You took it and read it, and stuffed it down your other back pocket.

  “You should stay here tonight, just in case he decides to try anything. And call me if you need anything, Marcus and I are still living here, so we’re close, okay?”

  She seemed to hesitate about something.

  “What is it?”

  “Um… do you know Jack Daven?”

  “Who?”

  “He’s a kid who interns at the science division.”

  “Oh, Jackie. Yeah, unfortunately I do know who he is.”

  He was the kid you threw head-first into a wall.

  “I just… I think he might have something to do with your mole situation.”

  “What? Why would you think that?”

  “A while back, he came to me saying that science had sent him with some paperwork that needed to be signed, but when I looked at it, I realised that it was actually for research, and I told him that. And he laughed it off saying that he’d just made a mistake, but that didn’t seem very likely, because the forms he had were for release of testing materials. They wouldn’t send an errand-boy to retrieve those, they’re too dangerous. At the time I figured that maybe he’d been sent with an escort, for learning purposes, and that I just never saw them. But, now with the investigation, I think there might have been more to it than that. I was just too scared to... I didn’t know who to trust with it.”

  “You can always trust me. Thank you, Izzy, I’m so sorry that I ever thought of you as incompetent.”

  “Forgive me and I’ll forgive you.”

  “Done.”

  You ran full speed back to Ops, and almost collided with the automatic door to the control centre. Marcus was working at a station to the left, and smiled without looking up as he heard you. Anita was at the centre console, with her back to you.

  “Damned it, why do all automatic doors move so fucking slowly?”

  “Ah, I hear my future daughter-in-law has entered the premises.”

  “Shut it, Chocoreno.”

  “What did you just call me?”

  “Choco-reno, the clue’s in the name, máma.”

  “Ay, loco, today’s not a good day to test me.”

  “Why, does máma need a hug?”

  “Don’t even think about it.”

  “Fine. How about some nice chocolate instead? I hear there might be some steep discounts on a couple of brands.”

  “Mujer… did you burst in here for a reason? Because if not, I’ll burst you right back out.”

  “Hah, I’d like to see you try.”

  She huffed.

  “As you wish.”

  You caught a glimpse of Marcus’ expression as it shifted from bemused to genuinely worried, when Anita turned and came towards you.

  “Mooom…”

  She ignored him and tried to grab you, but your ghost hands caught hers before she could make contact, and they were much stronger than your physical hands.   She definitely had super-strength, that much was obvious right away, and she wasn’t holding back. You could feel your strength begin to drain, so you changed tactics. You flooded the room with energy, and then drew it back to compact it all around yourself, creating that same kind of barrier that the Inventor hadn’t been able to break through, despite his genius belt-modification.   And then you just stood there, perfectly still to conserve energy, while she tried in vain to push you out of the room.

  “Mom, stop it, right now!”

  As her focus momentarily shifted towards Marcus, you saw the smile that played in her features. She was just having fun, testing your strength and flexing her own, whilst getting some frustration out of her system, knowing full well that you could take it.   Feeling certain she wouldn’t kill you for it, you grabbed the opportunity.   You let the wall of energy disappear as she was leaning against it with all her might, and as the barrier fell, so did Anita – right into your arms.   It was a bit like trying to catch a running bull, and the impact was certainly painful, but you ignored it and just hugged her to you.   She scrambled out of your grip, but you just smiled at her, because you knew she enjoyed every moment of it.

  “I have to say, I’ve never had to fight my way into a hug before.”

  “That wasn’t a hug, loco.”

  “Yes, it was, and you know it. Do you feel better now, or do you need another?”

  She was actually contemplating another round, which prompted Marcus to step in between you.

  “Do I have to remind both of you that you’re pregnant, hermosa? Playful or not, you’re not fighting each other again, now, tell me why you were moving so fast that the doors were too slow for you?”

   Oh, for fucks sake, why where you so easily distracted?

  “Right… We should probably talk in private. Considering the fact that it’s only been two hours since we sat in your office looking at houses – a hell of a lot’s happened.”

  He led the way towards the door, and you shot a look at Anita, over your shoulder.

  “Raincheck on that hug?”

  “I’ll boogie with you anytime, loco.”

  “That’s how you boogie? And you call me ‘loco’.”

  “Oh, yes. You’ve earned that one, many times over.”

 Authors’ Note: I love criticism, don’t be shy to let me know if there’s anything you like/don’t like/have questions about.

@blueeyesatnight​ @farfromjustordinary @allmyspideys @hrk-fic-recs @strawberryperegrine @lucrezia-thoughts @computeringturtle @sarahjkl82-blog

[julianmakesmydickhard]

uncomfortably deep and personal questions

questions here

————

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

thankfully, me and my mom are super close.... we don’t talk about my dad tho

02: Who’s the last person you said “i love you” too?

man, i tell everyone that i love them. i truly love everyone that shows even the slightest bit of kindness towards me

03: Do you regret anything?

yes,

04: Are you insecure?

oh yea. part of it is my introverted, soft spoken personality, and part of it is just how negatively i see myself oop

05: What is your relationship status?

single, unfortunately lol

06: How do you want to die?

painlessly. the pain that comes with death is what scares me the most i think

07: When did you last eat?

lunch!! i had a bomb ass colombian dish,, man do my people know how cook good food

08: Played any sports?

does show choir count?? aggressive dancing with aggressive singing??

09: Do you bite your nails?

nope

10: When was your last physical fight?

i know i say that i want to slap people sometimes, but i’ve never actually done it

11: Do you like someone?

y’all, im always attracted to someone sksksk

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

yup

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

yes, but we don’t talk about him

14: Do you miss someone?

oh god yes...

15: Have any pets?

yes!! i have one lil doggie

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

i’m very tired lol. it’s like 11pm which is v late for me since i have 7am classes

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

nope, bathrooms are gross

18: Are you scared of spiders?

yes, have you seen them??

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

yes, imagine all the things you could change or prevent

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

honestly, it’s been a while, i don’t really remember

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

i’m gonna go see a play that one of my friends is starring in on saturday and then i’m gonna celebrate my birthday with my doggo on sunday

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

ahh, this is such a difficult question. i want to give my kids the childhood that i never got. but what happens if by some circumstance, i give them the childhood i had, and negatively impact their life through it?

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

i just have my ears pierced

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

english and art! math and science are my worst. i guess i function best when i’m able to use the creative and imaginative side of me whereas i fail when logic and reason come into play

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

yes yes yes and yes

26: What are you craving right now?

blueberries

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

no, never

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

yes

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

no. unless something changed in their heart and they, for some reason, felt bad for treating me so badly, and decided to weep, no

30: What’s irritating you right now?

so many things ahhh,, why do i have to be so introverted? why am i so deperate to find love, when it keeps biting me in the butt?.why can’t i make friends as easily as other people?

31: Does somebody love you?

honestly, i don’t think anyone does, maybe only my mother?

32: What is your favourite color?

auburn

33: Do you have trust issues?

oh god i wish i did. i wish i was able to keep people at a distance. i let people in and basically ask them to use my secrets, my insecurities, my whatever, to break me. and then the cycle goes on and on

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

i dreamt about me meeting billie eilish a couple of days ago. it was v nice

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

i don’t know lol, there’s not a lot of people around to see me cry i guess

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

yea, it’s not good i know

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

no, but it’s definitely not the worst, and i’m thankful for that

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

i don’t remember, but i do know that i was v late to the game

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

god no

51: Favourite food?

colombian food, thai food, japanese food

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

i want to believe this, but sometimes shitty things happen and i’m like wow, there’s literally no benefit or reason to why this happened except to make me feel like shit

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

kissed my doggo goodnight

54: Is cheating ever okay?

if you’re my friend, i’m just gonna say that even if you’ve cheated on someone before, i don’t see you as less of a person or a friend. people make mistakes, and it’s also part of who i am: someone who tried to look past the bad and see the good, ahhh i don’t know how to explain this the right way but i hope you understand my pov. anyways, i’ve been cheated on before and it sucked balls. so no, i don’t think it’s ever ok in a relationship. but i also don’t think that it’s something that should affect your friendship with someone. i think cheating is something that needs to be dealt with among the cheater and the cheated and shouldn’t bleed into your friendship with a random, uninvolved person. but you can totally disagree with me and that’s fine!! everyone is subject to their own opinion based on their own experiences and personalities etc.

55: Are you mean?

i don’t think so!! but then again, i can’t really be the judge of that lol. i try my hardest to be the friend that i’ve always wanted, if that makes sense. i try to be kind, and supportive, and positive, and there for them, etc.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

no one, ive never gotten into a physical fight

57: Do you believe in true love?

it’s not that i believe in true love, it’s that i hope and pray for it. i hope that one day i’ll find it

58: Favourite weather?

cold, cloudy, people walking around in big, fluffy jackets and scarves

59: Do you like the snow?

yes! i saw snow for the first time in my life a couple of weeks ago!

60: Do you wanna get married?

ahhhh,, my parents set a really bad example for good marriage. my parents’ marriage taught me that men can change over time. and that once they’re safe in the bounds of marriage, theyll stop their act, get tired of you, and act like a totally new person. and that... scares me. i don’t want a husband like my dad and i’m so afraid that the same situation will happen to me

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

yes, names like baby, sweetheart, love, honey etc. make my heart weak

62: What makes you happy?

real friends, tight hugs, platonic cuddling, romantic cuddling, acts of service, uplifting words, hand holding, forehead kisses, soft intimacy, need i go on?

63: Would you change your name?

i wold ditch my last name.. can you guess why? i’d love if my middle name became my last name, legally

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

romantically? yea

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

nothing, cuz that kind of stuff doesn’t happen to me

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

no. i try my hardest to only let my friends see the happy side of me. i don’t like burdening them with all the bad emotions i sometimes feel. my complete self would be if i shared ALL of my emotions, the bad as well as the good. but i think it’s better this way, they would most definitely get annoyed after a little bit of time

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

probably my friend tino

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

i don’t remember,, it’s been a long time since i’ve actually talks about truly deep subjects with someone personally,,

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

i want to believe it. i want to believe that i’ll one day find the person of my dreams. the person that fits so perfectly with me and is just so perfect ahhh

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

i don’t know, i’m selfish when it comes to dying. death scares me

[sparxwrites]

as someone who's been following you a while, and is still SUPER bitter about lom@dia/hannah's behaviour, years later... I wish there was an easy way to summarise all the things that Went Wrong in the yogs fandom for those who weren't there. the CR people are amazing and I think, if that's the only experience you have with creator-fandom interaction, it kinda creates a... false sense of security? the SoI:R drama, the twitch incident(s), etc have all left a sour taste in my mouth.

yeah... whether i’m just hyper-aware because of how Bad the yogs were on So Many Levels - poor creator behaviour, poor fan-creator interactions, theft of art, manipulating and abusing fans and fan labour, fandom wars sparked by jealousy over creator-fan interactions (and / or being excluded from them...), threats of lawsuits, wank over various creators that got Nastily Personal because people knew too many things about them bc the creators had gotten too close... it was just a clusterfuck, like, all the possible ways things could go wrong, things went wrong. 

and whilst i love that cr is nothing like that, it worries me that people seem to think nothing bad could ever happen in it - because several of the creators didn’t start out like that, in fact they seemed super cool and chill with a whole bunch of stuff and were lovely in their fandom interactions, and then turned out to be Major Assholes (lookin at you, ridgedog). idk. i just think that anyone who sits in a fandom and goes “yup, i’m Perfectly Safe here, totally free to rely on the creators to be Nice and Decent people, i’m definitely not at risk of lawsuits, ridicule, or harrassment, just gonna get on with the business of idolising these people i don’t actually know but feel like i am friends with” is being, unfortunately, somewhat short-sighted and careless.

[monroe-militia]

4, 12, 17, 19, 21, 25, 34?

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

If we’re being real, then probably more than one. But I’ll just go with the big two here.

I would definitely say The Vampire Diaries fandom because while there were a lot of great and really nice people in there, there was also SO MUCH FUCKING NEGATIVITY AND HATE TOWARDS NOT ONLY CHARACTERS AND SHIPS BUT THE PEOPLE WHO DARED TO LIKE THEM. When everyone was shitting on Elena and Hayley and The Originals and Cami and the actors and everyfuckingthing else I got more than a little fed up. Also some of the fanfic community got pretty nasty and it was like people would come into fics written about ships they don’t like just to leave reviews being assholes about the characters and ships they don’t like and I’d be sitting there like well I wrote this story about these people because I like them and this fic is clearly labelled as prominently involving them, now please get off of my lawn. There was definitely a lot of positive reviews, but also a lot of negative ones that were by no means constructive criticism.

And same goes for The 100 fandom. While a lot of the people are great and nice and not the problem, there was also so much goddamn ship war stuff going on with people who ship Clarke with Lexa pitted against people who ship Clarke with Bellamy and they were just tearing each other apart over everything and seemed against the people who ship the other thing more than even the pairing and I was just sitting there in the middle liking both combinations and so fed up with both sides of the fandom. My dash on my 100 blog was basically just a mixture of both sides of the argument and people saying snarky things about the people who ship the opposite so I kind of gave up. The hating on specific characters and going after people who enjoyed those characters was to a lesser degree in this fandom than in the Vampire Diaries one, but I was definitely still seeing much more of it than I would have preferred.

Okay, fine, I’ll throw in a third thing here. But this one is less about regretting joining the fandom and more about being fed up with the whole Dean is confirmed canonically bisexual and nothing you can say is going to change that and he is as much representation as Clarke, the only actually confirmed bisexual main character on a CW show (unless something has changed recently, but certainly at the time that this was prominent on my dash this was the case). Some were even saying that Supernatural was so brave for making Dean canonically bi. The other thing that got on my nerves in the fandom was that some people who ship Dean and Cas would just shit on anyone who did not ship them or dared to say something other than it being canon. I know people who have left the fandom because of this exact thing.

Do I enjoy the idea of bi Dean? Sure. Have I written slash fic involving Dean? Yup. Is he canonically a bisexual character? No and the show making a running joke of making him almost have some kind of gay or bi dynamic with other dudes while always keeping it safely confined in the heterosexual package of it being just a joke and Dean being the lady’s man heterosexual and having to reestablish that to effectively destroy any lasting idea that he might ever really have any kind of sexual or romantic relationship with another man is not the show being brave. It’s trying to get credit for being bold and raising the possibility that Dean could be anything other than heterosexual, while making sure not to piss anyone off or lose any viewers by being sure to backtrack and reestablish him as a manly man only interested in women to make sure nobody can get upset. It’s classic queer baiting.

And as for the Dean and Cas part I used to ship them and I have written many fics of them, but I do significantly less now and in large part because the toxic attitudes of some Destiel shippers kind of spoiled it for me. And I know there are plenty of Destiel shippers who are nothing but kind to others and 100% are not the problem, but there are also a shocking amount of Destiel shippers who seem to have a complete lack of respect for other Supernatural fans with a different opinion. It is perfectly okay to watch the show with the belief that Dean and Cas are together, it’s perfectly fine to ship them and not agree with other people’s ships, it’s not okay to just attack people on a completely unrelated post about how they’re wrong. It disgusts me how some people just personally attack others for saying something about a ship that goes against theirs and it reflects poorly on the Destiel fandom as a whole and this kind of the thing is exactly how people who are being perfectly respectful to others end up getting harassed as part of ship wars. And I did not mean to go on for this long, or really at all, so I’m just going to stop now.

Anyways, hopefully I didn’t just dig my own grave and piss anyone off, but let’s move on now…

12. Who is your current OT3?

Definitely Jarlett (Charlie/Jason/Connor) for Revolution although I also at times get quite invested in planning out Miles/Bass/Emma stuff. 

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Your guess on this is as good as mine. Maybe Chase/Zoey from Zoey 101? Or maybe it was Holly/Vince from What I Like About You before that? Or Gordo/Lizzie from Lizzie McGuire? I don’t know, man. Something from when I was under age 10 or 11. Either way it is no longer my otp and some of my shame has been drudged up with this question.

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

There is definitely at least one like that and I feel like I may have told you about them before, but I so cannot think of it now. But it’s something where the whole fandom is all oh they’re the cutest and the best and this couple is the whole fandom’s baby and I’m just sitting there totally indifferent to it. It’s not even that I dislike them, but I don’t get the chemistry and wish I could understand what everyone else is so excited about. I currently can’t remember the fandom, let alone the pairing though.

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

You know this one. It was that really shitty What I Like About You fic that I deleted years and years ago on account of having written it at eleven and it being just awful. And then the Criminal Minds stuff started after that and then a bunch of other fandoms after that. At least my other old writing on the old account I don’t feel the need to erase from existence, but I am definitely glad that first one is gone.

25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

Shit, man. How am I supposed to measure this? Like by view or favourite/kudos or review or what? Ah, I’ll just look back through at how things look at first glance and wing it from there.

Okay, there is a clear winner. But does it really count as most popular if I have hella reviews, but also a portion of them are just people complaining that there weren’t the pairings they wanted and saying “No offense” then literally accusing me of ruining even the thought of a character for them, and saying they didn’t like the chapter at all and then proceeding to complain about things that happened in the show unrelated to the fic they are even reading? Plus one glowing review that says “The story wasn’t that bad.”?

Okay, but honestly it also had a lot of really positive reviews that by far outnumbered the non-constructive negativity (although the bad reviews definitely remained stuck in my head) and it wasn’t one of the fics with the worst negativity, so I’m going to have to go with that Vampire Diaries fic where they were playing truth or dare. I probably never would have finished if people hadn’t responded so overall positively to it and even if I had, it certainly would not have been as long.

34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

That would be a Damon/Elena human AU (with a lot of background pairings too) that was 123,329 words.

[lisacopen]

Top 5 Ways To Lose Weight Fast

The funny thing about weight loss is, there is really only 1 actual “thing” that causes it. It’s the 1 thing that The Lose Weight Diet is all about, of course. What there is a lot of, however, are ways of actually making and ensuring that this 1 thing occurs, and occurs consistently.

Below is a list of exactly that… my picks for the 5 best ways to lose weight.

1. Pay MUCH more attention to calories than anything else.

It still baffles me to this day that people who want to lose weight spend an insane amount of time worrying about carbs and/or fat and/or protein. Or worrying about eating whole wheat bread instead of white bread, or brown rice instead of white rice, or doing any of the other millions of things that are great ideas for improving your overall health and the quality of your diet, but will usually do nothing whatsoever to help you actually lose weight.

Now, don’t misunderstand me here. Making sure you get your carbs, fat and protein from high quality sources is a fantastic idea and I completely recommend it. And, paying attention to how many grams of carbs, fat and protein you eat each day is also a good idea for a variety of reasons. However, none of this causes weight loss.

Once again, there is only 1 thing that causes weight loss, and that is creating a caloric deficit. This means that whatever calories are needed to maintain your current weight, you just need to be a few hundred calories below that number on a consistent basis. So, if you maintain your current weight eating 3000 calories per day, you will lose weight by eating 2500 calories per day. That’s it. That’s weight loss. Make a small, gradual reduction to your calorie intake, and watch the weight come off. Simple.

Yet, it’s a concept people can’t seem to grasp. They continue to worry about eating less carbs, or less fat, or more protein, or healthy foods instead of unhealthy foods, good carbs instead of bad carbs, and so on and so on and so on. This is all well and good, but if you want to lose weight, all that matters is calories.

If eating 3000 calories per day causes you to gain weight, it won’t matter if those calories come from nothing but cheeseburgers and cookies or salmon and brown rice… if you are consuming too many calories, you will gain weight no matter where those calories are coming from. The same happens in reverse, too. If eating 2500 calories per day causes you to lose weight, it really won’t matter much whether those calories come from healthy foods or unhealthy foods, good carbs or bad carbs, high fat or low fat… if you are eating the amount of calories that causes your body to lose weight… you will lose weight. Period.

Yes, you should definitely try to eat as healthy as possible and pay attention to getting all of the little details right. It’s important. However, in terms of just weight loss, all that matters is calories. So, before focusing on anything else, focus on calories. They are the one and only key to weight loss, thus obviously making this one of the best ways to lose weight.

2. Stop drinking calories.

As I just mentioned (and Phase 1 of The Lose Weight Diet explains in detail), the key to weight loss is just making a small reduction to your total calorie intake. One of, if not the easiest way of doing this is by not drinking calories… ever.

If you currently drink regular soda, fruit juice, sports drinks, alcohol or any other form of liquid calories on anything close to a regular basis, and you cut it all out from of your diet, I can almost guarantee that it will create enough of a daily calorie reduction to cause you to start losing weight.

No exercise, no eating less. Just a switch from drinking stuff that contains calories to drinking stuff that doesn’t (water would be the best option, but there are others). It doesn’t get any easier than that, which is why avoiding liquid calories is an obvious choice for one of the best ways to lose weight.

3. Have realistic expectations and set realistic goals.

All doctors, nutritionists, trainers and experts pretty much unanimously agree that weight should be lost at the rate of about 1 or 2 pounds per week. If you understand this, and expect this, you will most likely go on to lose weight without any problem at all. However, if you are a normal person who watches TV, reads newspapers and magazines, goes into stores, or goes online, then there is a really good chance that you expect MUCH faster results than this.

And, herein lies a VERY big problem.

Expecting unrealistic weight loss results will cause most people to go on to waste a ton of time, effort and money on things that will never actually cause these unrealistic results to occur. Do you know what happens next? More time, effort and money gets wasted on trying to find other ways to make it happen. And this cycle continues on and on and on until an insane amount of time ends up passing during which no weight has actually been lost.

Why? Because instead of actually doing the very simple things that cause weight loss at its ideal 1-2 pound per week rate, you’re busy searching for a way to do it faster, and such a way doesn’t actually exist. Doing so is just a complete waste of time, effort, and most of the time, money. Not to mention, if you expect to accomplish something that can’t be accomplished (like losing 10-20lbs per week or anything equally unrealistic), you are just setting yourself up for disappointment and failure. And, more often than not, that tends to lead to the “giving up” of trying to lose weight, only to repeat the same cycle over again sometime in the future.

So, do you want to know one of the very best ways to lose weight? Sets goals that can actually be reached, and have expectations that are realistic. If you don’t, you will just end up disappointed, or even worse, in the exact same position you’re currently in years and years from now.

4. Track everything.

A lot of people think they are eating perfectly and that their diet isn’t a problem. Then I recommend they start tracking their diet. And, guess what they realize? Their diet is the problem. They are eating way more calories than they thought (the big problem) and their diet as a whole is a lot less “perfect” then they thought it was. Do you know how they could have avoided this? By tracking their diet.

How do you do this, you ask? Simple. Go to a free site like a Calorie Counter and track it. Create an account (it’s free) and then search for and add all of the foods you eat each day. a Calorie Counter will then add up and track all of the totals for you and give you a very clear view of exactly what you are eating, and exactly how much you are eating. When you realize that this is the key to losing weight, it always amazes me to come across people who don’t do it. And, more often than not… those people aren’t losing weight. Strange coincidence, ain’t it?

And the tracking doesn’t end with your diet either. Track your workout just the same. The only way you can increase strength, build muscle, improve endurance, flexibility, and any other physical trait you can possibly think of is by constantly striving to surpass what you were previously able to do. Lifted 20lbs for 8 reps last time? Your goal is to lift 20lbs for 9 reps this time, or perhaps 25lbs for 8 reps this time. Only able to jog on the treadmill for 3 minutes without having to stop to walk? Your goal this time is to jog for 3 minutes and 30 seconds before stopping to walk. This is progress, and this is the only way to create progress. By pushing yourself beyond what you were previously capable of.

And, the only way to do this is by accurately tracking what you previously did so that you can beat it the next time.

That’s not all. Track your progress. Track your weight, your measurements, take pictures… whatever. The problem with trying to judge your own weight loss progress is that you see yourself every day, all the time. This makes noticing small gradual improvements harder for you than anyone else you know. So, what do you do? You track it. You weigh yourself first thing in the morning on an empty stomach once a week and keep a log of it. You take measurements (waist, arms, legs, chest, whatever you want) every week or 2 and keep a log of it. You take pictures of yourself every few weeks. You do all this so you can see with absolute certainty that your body is progressing in the right direction no matter what crazy things your eyes tell you when you look in the mirror every day. Not to mention, being able to actually see the progress you are making is more motivating than anything else you can imagine.

So, one of the best ways to lose weight? Track everything.

5. Stop looking and ignore EVERYTHING.

Yup, simple. There’s what works, and is free, and safe, and simple, and effective… and then there’s everything else. Ignore it all. Every single bit of it. There is nothing else out there. There is no magic pill or supplement or product. There are no hidden secrets or special methods. There is no better, faster, easier way. What there is however is a ton of stuff, a ton of people, a ton of companies, a ton of diets, a ton of programs, a ton of articles, a ton of magazines, a ton of web sites, a ton of supplements, a ton of products, a ton of everything that just doesn’t want you to know this.

Why? So you read what they’re writing, listen to what they’re saying, try what they’re offering, and, most important of all… buy what they’re selling.

Instead of doing any of this, ignore it. Ignore it all. It will do nothing but get in your way of actually losing weight. It will cause you to waste time, waste money and waste effort. It will confuse you, create unrealistic expectations, and prevent you from doing what you need to be doing. This is why ignoring it all is one of the best ways to lose weight, period. 6. Bonus Tip: Follow The Lose Weight Diet

I know this was only supposed to be a list of the 5 best ways to lose weight, but I had to through a bonus “best way” in. And that “best way” is: follow The Lose Weight Diet. It’s free, simple, safe, and effective. No gimmicks. No fads. No BS. Just weight loss, the way it was meant to be done. Enjoy your results.

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