#it's the shakespeare background what can i say it ruined me for fandom forever

[madtomedgar]

ok my real unpopular jgy opinion is that if i had read the novel first, i would have h a t e d him, specifically because of how the situation with nmj is different. the thing he does in the novel, where he stabs himself to get nmj to drop his guard so he can get away, i fucking hate when people do that shit. my brother used to do that to me when he was mad at me and wanted me to get in trouble. literally would throw himself down the stairs or rip off a scab so he was bleeding, then start bawling his brains out until parents showed up and say i did it, and it always worked.

and then, after that, it makes a lot of sense why nmj doesn’t buy it when jgy is injured, socially, physically, emotionally, and trying to argue for leniency based on his being injured. because the last time this happened, he saw jgy injure himself to make himself more sympathetic, and then took the opening that generated and ran with it. i would not buy someone’s sob story after i watched them do that! it makes sense to look at a similar scenario and think maybe that person is up to something again! and the “oh, but you know How He Is :( he just Won’t Listen :’(” is, again, something I’ve been on the receiving end of, and I hate it when people do that.

however, the cql relationship is immensely sympathetic to me, especially at the time i first watched the show. like. boss who sets you up to fail by putting you in a position of authority that a) makes sense with your skills but b) other people will think is arbitrary and then doing nothing to help you gain the respect of others you need to do your job, and unintentionally undermining you? co-workers blatantly fucking you over because they don’t respect you, and credit for your work and the success you managed to eke out despite everyone else being colossal fuckwads the entire way getting taken by and attributed to others? sometimes the fuckwads in cheif?? and then meanwhile boss is telling you not to complain and occasionally tromping in to make things worse by waving his authority around, instead of doing what you asked which would have actually been helpful?? and when you finally snap and do something about the fuckwads, somehow you are the bad person in this scenario, despite everything that you and your boss both know you have done for him, at great expense to yourself, despite what you both know he owes you?

See that is some good shit. I want to be cql meng yao’s union rep. not only will i buy him a drink and help him hide the body, i will switch his boss’s cologne with poison ivy juice.

And then nmj fixating on him and blaming him for everything for no good reason AFTER JGY SAVES HIS LIFE NOT ONCE BUT TWICE and ALMOST DIES one of those times! and just expecting him to periodically absorb his (very dangerous and painful!) rage like it’s nbd and if jgy has a problem with that it’s further proof it’s all his fault? defending jgy on tumblr is not enough i require a weapon etc.

so like. yeah i know in the novel the music doesn’t start until after the kick and in cql the implication that it does is supposed to make jgy more evil but, a) the implication is weak as shit upon further examination (intentionally? no. but what they did was leave a lot of room for doubt about the whole sequence they present) and more importantly b) because of everything above, i actually think it’s fine and sexy and cool and progressive of jgy to start the evil music before the stairs, because it was clear before that that this was going in that direction, and what nmj puts him through despite everything jgy did for him is enough to drive most people to “ok die then” i think.