#it's the pure embodiment of 'even if you don't know shit about dmc'

[freevoidman]

My G, why does the floridian hurricane in porg’s shitshow of a fic upset you so much?

@sui-senka just pinging ya bc you replied and I figured you wouldn’t want to miss my response.

OKAY so the very short answer is she doesn’t know shit (unsurprising, but still) and clearly didn’t do any research about hurricanes, hurricane procedures, hurricane safety, or… literally anything, considering that a lot of her self-written Vergil backstory hinges on a hurricane separating him and his “lover,” making him unaware of Nero’s existence.

Her ignorance about hurricanes and the damage they can cause is practically inexcusable, considering most anything can be googled nowadays, so this had no reason to be as shit as Porg made it. This absolutely infuriates me, considering that I have lived through hurricanes, specifically, one of the worst hurricanes to hit the northeastern US.

The LONG ANSWER will be under the cut because, i’mma be real with you anon, I’m gonna tear apart Porg’s shit, and I get real mad.

Alright, so, in Porg’s fic, this bullshit comes at the end of her segment about her OC and Vergil, and why Vergil knows that he had sex with someone, but was unaware his child was alive. About seven months into OC’s pregnancy Hurricane Hugo (or, at the very least, a hurricane with matching strength TO Hugo) hits wherever she and Vergil are, they got separated during the storm, and then never reconnected. Her OC then gave birth to Nero and died during a demon attack, but Nero was not killed, and was taken off the mainland to Fortuna.

Before continuing, here are some important things to remember!

Porg has stated in her fic she placed Fortuna around the Florida Keys

She specifically cites Hurricane Hugo as the hurricane that hits and separates Vergil and her OC. She also cites this happening in the year 1989 (the same year Hugo happened). Remember this setting.

Nero’s mother is SEVEN MONTHS PREGNANT when this hurricane hits.

Nero has to be young enough to have no memories of his mother. At most, I’d say he would be a year old, and at the youngest I’d say 2 months, because he’d have to survive for at least a few hours after his mother died before people found him.

Okay? Okay.

So, for the first point of stupidity, there is absolutely no reason why Vergil and her OC should have become separated. I’m not reading off her fic directly, but I’m pretty sure that she never cited a specific reason as to why, just that they did.

During hurricanes, you get the fuck away from the coastline if you can because flooding can and absolutely will happen, and then you stay indoors. You do not go outside unless you absolutely have to, especially at night when you can’t see. The windspeed for a Category 1 hurricane, the lowest you can go before it’s classified as a tropical/severe storm, is 74 mph (119 kmph) and can cause damage to houses and cause branches or poorly rooted trees to fall. You can lose power, but it’d only be for a couple days at most.

Hurricane Hugo (or her imaginary hurricane, which would have the same strength and occur at the same time) was a Category 3. Category 3 hurricanes have the lowest wind speed at 111 mph (178 kmph). Whereas Category 1 hurricanes can do some damage, mostly through negligence or very rare circumstances, Category 3′s can rip trees out of the ground, cause serious flooding, can damage most well-built houses. It’s not fun, and picture of areas devastated by hurricanes are brutal.

So Vergil, who is a decently smart sentient being, and her OC should have NEVER gone outside, let alone be away from each other. A seven month pregnant woman would ABSOLUTELY NOT BE OUTSIDE IN A CATEGORY 3 HURRICANE. I can understand them not wanting to move away from a coastline, or abandoning their house, as they possibly would’ve had nothing to come back to, but there is NO reason why they would get separated in 1989 after a category 3. If anything, this should’ve brought them closer together.

And yet, somehow they do! And they never reconnect? How??? Porg states that this is all happening in southeastern US–there is no way any seven month woman would be able to travel far enough on her own, more than likely without a car, and be able to care for herself. Granted, Porg made her OC a full devil, but even a full devil would definitely struggle at 7 months pregnant with a baby coming in the future.

Now, I’m going to be honest, this was all the minor stuff. Now here’s where I get mad.

When people find Nero, Porg states in her fic that instead of taking an infant to the hospital, they instead take him to an orphanage on Fortuna. Remember, this is at the very least four months after a Category 3 Hurricane hit, and at most, 16 months.

Now, I live on Long Island. For those unaware, back in 2012, we had a hurricane hit us. That was Hurricane Sandy, which was a Category 1 when it hit. People here acted with confidence–it’s only a Category 1, it’s not that strong, we’ll all be fine!–and didn’t prepare properly for it.

This was one of the deadliest hurricanes of 2012. It was a Category 1.

I lived through that, and it wasn’t pleasant to say the least. I was one of the lucky folks that lived far enough away from the coast that there wasn’t any serious flooding, but even then it was rough. I was sitting on my couch looking out the window when a giant portion of a tree that had been eaten away by bugs broke off from the trunk and smashed into our front yard, only about fifteen feet away from where I was sitting. If the tree had been leaning more towards us, or the wind was blowing just strong enough, it could’ve crashed into the room and crushed me. When my dad went out to walk our dogs that night (and at this point, we’d lost power) one of those poorly-rooted trees fell over. It was pitch black outside, with heavy rain and wind making it impossible to see more than five feet in front of you. We didn’t know if he was alive, because we also didn’t know which tree fell or where he was, and we couldn’t hear each other over the wind.

And I know plenty of people that lived in worse places that didn’t leave, and they got even more fucked over in that first week. The only reason why my neighborhood got power back within a week was because we were right by two schools (my elementary and high school, ironically enough). I know people that had to go twice as long without. Some had to wait a full month because of downed trees and severe damage to the breakers in their neighborhoods.

And again–my street, my neighborhood, most of the people in my school? We were lucky, because a majority of the school body and staff lived inland. People got fucked over for YEARS after Sandy, especially those that lived on the coastline and straight up couldn’t leave, even if they wanted. Their homes were flooded, they lost thousand of dollars having to repair the damages, lost countless memories following the damages in the aftermath. This was happening more than a year after a Category 1 hurricane hit an island.

So the fact that Porg, in her godly wisdom, could go “yeah, baby Nero wasn’t taken to any place that could give him substantial care, but was instead given to an orphanage on a tiny island that was hit by a Category 3 hurricane” completely infuriates me. She did zero research, other than finding a natural disaster that happened somewhere she was familiar with, around the time when she oh-so grandly puts Devil May Cry 3, to “pull at the audience’s heart strings” is not only moronic, but completely ignorant to real people who have suffered in the aftermath of hurricanes.

There is a sentence–just as barebones as the rest of her shit writing–that describes the aftermath. That’s it. And as an added kick, Vergil doesn’t care about it, or how his lover is missing in the aftermath, even though Porg wrote him as someone who cared about her OC very, very much.

(This is arguably the most in character she gets with Vergil, by the way.)

It is entirely possible that, after a Category 3 like Hugo, that Fortuna would be fucking wrecked in the aftermath, especially if it was in the direct path, and especially where Porg put it. Fortuna is an isolated island with no obvious connection to a mainland (at least, established in the games, i haven’t read the novels). Put that next to Florida, which is well-known for getting hurricanes and tropical storms pretty regularly, and I don’t know how the fuck it would be standing, let alone in a state where it could accept an infant.

I think that stupid section was the part where I really, really hated what I was reading. In an age where the internet, where google, where there’s plenty of resources and first-hand accounts talking about hurricanes, the damage they can cause, and the aftermath of said natural disasters, Porg did nothing more than look up a Hurricane that happened around 1989 and slapped into her fic with nothing more behind it than a plot point that made zero fucking sense.

Oh, by the way? All that information I looked up about hurricane windspeed, about when Sandy and Hugo hit? It took me less than a minute to look up and fact-check myself. Porg, learn how to fucking google simple shit before you puke up your regurgitated bullshit.