#it's thanksgiving in the movie but we're going christmas to avoid having to deal with the difference in timing between the u.s. and canada

[wild-aloof-rebel]

today in AUs i’m never gonna actually write: 

planes trains and automobiles au where david and patrick are both on a pre-christmas flight from new york to toronto that because of a blizzard gets redirected to, idk, detroit? indianapolis? chicago? and even though they’re both a little annoyed with each other—david because patrick manages to sweet talk a booking agent into finding him the last spot on a flight in the morning when david couldn’t get her to budge, patrick because david actually stole his taxi on the way to the airport in the first place—they decide to share one of the very few hotel rooms available for a very awkward night. they part ways again in the morning, only to end up on a train together after patrick’s new flight gets cancelled, and they reluctantly get to talking on the trip. 

everything is cordial enough until the train breaks down and dumps them out at a station in the middle of nowhere. there’s a bus then, and eventually a rental car, more nights spent together in hotels as they inch closer to toronto and each other. the frustration of the trip wears on them both though, making them prone to occasional outbursts that hurt the other, but it opens them up too because who else is there to talk to when they’re stuck together on this neverending trip? david discovers that patrick is headed home to his parents’ house where he’s decided he’s going to propose to his girlfriend on christmas eve, though he doesn’t seem particularly excited about it. patrick learns that david’s supposed to be having christmas dinner with his family in a rural town a couple hours north of the city, and he doesn’t seem particularly excited about that either.

they argue over the radio stations they can find and the hotels david is willing to stay in, even though patrick is the one who gets stuck paying for both the car and the rooms because david has somehow lost his wallet. there’s almost certainly some kind of confusion at the border crossing where they nearly get arrested, and there’s definitely some kind of further money shenanigans where patrick ends up having to pawn rachel’s engagement ring to get them enough cash to make it home. the trip takes so long that christmas comes and goes while they’re still trying to get there, and the whole thing should be awful—and it is—but it also kind of... isn’t? because things are starting to click between them, and their conversations get longer and deeper, david talking about art and the most underrated romcoms and the places in manhattan that have always made him feel intensely lonely, patrick about hockey and his hidden talents and the overwhelming fear of disappointing the people he loves. and there’s a loaded moment then in a greasy roadside diner where patrick automatically thumbs a bit of ketchup from the corner of david’s mouth, where he almost does something completely reckless, where david almost says something completely honest. but nothing good can last, so when they get back on the road, they only make it a few more miles before their shitty rental gives up the ghost, and it’s just the last fucking thing that either of them can take, leaving them stranded on the side of the highway, angry and exhausted and broken. 

when they finally manage to roll into toronto, it’s in icy silence in the cab of a kindly trucker. patrick calls his parents to come pick him up, and he dutifully offers to take david the rest of the way, thankful when david declines, insisting that his own family can make the drive to get him, and they finally say their stilted last goodbyes, both ready to be done with all of this. but as patrick’s leaving with marcy and clint, he sees david trying to barter with someone, offering up one of the silver rings he’s wearing in exchange for a ride, and realizes that there is no family coming to get him after all. patrick makes his parents stop, and he finally gets the truth out of david—he’s running away after discovering that his parents had been paying off the patrons at his art gallery, as well as most of his friends and dates, too, subsidizing the little bits of happiness he’d thought he’d managed to claim for himself, and in his embarrassment he’d decided to cut them out, to leave and start over in a town he apparently somehow owns, the only place he could think to run to, the only option he felt like he had left. he apologizes, sorry that he’d lied, sorry that he could have just given in and called his parents all along and gotten more than enough money to get him and patrick to toronto with far less trouble, but patrick cuts him off with a kiss, tells him that he doesn’t need to be sorry for being brave, for having been hurt by people he trusted, for wanting to find a path for himself. and he definitely doesn’t need to be sorry for the last few days because even though they’ve been a disaster, they’ve been some of the best of patrick’s entire life, and when david finally smiles, patrick kisses him again and asks him to come home with him for a belated christmas dinner because maybe schitt’s creek isn’t the only option he has after all