#it's still messy af but its like. a first draft

[evelynpr]

Hiii @firesign-18! I wanted to be able to visualize how Himiko's costume looks like ever since it was conceptualized in the fic, so here's my sketch! If there's things you want to change or add, do lmk so it's as accurate as I can make it! I really love your fic sm so I hope u like it :>

[shadowthestoryteller]

POV for the writing ask!

POV — something that’s already happened, retold from another character’s perspective

I actually had about three or four asks on this one! So I did a decently long rough draft! For this one, I went with a scene from my Fanfiction Off to a Great Start from Sergeant Hunter’s pov! This takes place in chapters 2 and part of 3, and honestly will make zero sense unless you read the original chapter since I skipped a lot of dialogue and key scenes. To be fair, I wrote it on my phone in thirty minutes last night lol. Even then its still messy af but it was fun!

If this gains enough feedback/enough people want to see it I may polish it out into a true chapter that goes through each dialogue exchange and action! 

Enjoy! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She left her… ice in the freezer?! Maker… this is going to be a long mission. 

“Oh no…” Hunter groaned, ignoring Tech as he rambled something to the guide, Shadow.

Skittish. That was definitely a word to describe this guide. Skittish, spooked, and ready to bolt at a moment's notice. 

Glad his helmet concealed his unimpressed expression, Hunter watched as Trevor pushed the guide, Shadow, up to them. 

This was the fierce and strong willed woman he’d been telling them about? 

After Trevor’s quick explanation of why they were here, and how they were looking for her specifically, Shadow swallowed. “Er, I’d love to chat but ya see-“

“This won’t take long,” Hunter interrupted. “I’m sure your… special ice will be fine.”

Blue eyes narrowed, giving Hunter a glimpse at what he suspected to be the true Shadow hidden beneath a false exterior. 

There was something more as well, Hunter realized, when after claiming they were worse than normal clones she immediately winced. Regret at possibly pissing them off? No, she looked… genuinely remorseful. 

How odd.

This woman… she wasn’t as she first appeared. She continued to be skittish and her voice squeaky yet…

There. As Wrecker started forward, Shadow shifted back, weight on her toes in a semblance of a fighting stance. No, not semblance. A subtle fighting stance. 

A closer look revealed strong shoulders, powerful legs, and muscular arms. This Shadow was a trained fighter alright. But her demeanor suggested otherwise. Unless it was a decoy. A distraction to throw them all off. 

Just as her voice rose, it then dropped to a rougher growl when she addressed Trevor who had, for some reason, dropped to his knees to beg Shadow. 

Enough of this. Hunter reached out, lightly resting his on one her shoulder. “Look, Kid-“

Sharp pain shot through his wrist, shock waves rippling up his arm. 

Right on the nerves. Accuracy like that on the first try, coupled with her stance and build, proved to Hunter he was definitely dealing with a trained fighter. Trevor’s next words confirmed it as well.

But when Shadow told her rank, Hunter instantly knew she was much higher. She had to be. 

Another flash of what Hunter suspected her true personality to be as she threatened Trevor. Lurking under that skittish exterior was no doubt a bold woman. Hunter just had to figure out how to get her to reveal that.

Initiate a chase. Make her prove herself. It won’t be hard to determine if she’s really all he says or not. 

“I’d be very interested to learn your rank,” Hunter said innocently.

Sharp blue eyes looked over him and narrowed in a glare.

This jumpiness is an exterior. It has to be. Hunter knew dangerous people when he saw them. Shadow did not at all strike him as malicious, but she wasn’t helpless. 

There was a warrior under there, he just needed to bring her out.

If Trevor didn’t do it first of course. Fighting down the urge to chuckle at Trevor’s pained expression as Shadow flipped him, Hunter couldn’t resist a smile. This mission would be a most interesting one. 

Her skittish side reappeared, however, after Trevor bolted and left her alone with them.

Her insults are… unique.

As he took off his helmet, Hunter could have sworn her eyes went straight to his hair. Did she like it or something? Why did that thought warm his cheeks a little? It must have just been hot in the outpost. 

It did not help that she clearly knew who they were and what their reputation was. Nor did it help her voice held a note of respect for the squad. 

Tech immediately took a liking, Hunter noticed, as he and Shadow briefly went back and forth about bones. 

Despite her insult from earlier, Hunter did not expect the words “Homicidal Twig” to leave her mouth as she all but stared down Crosshair. The one member everyone seemed to fear. Not Shadow, apparently. Hells, from what Hunter could tell she held no fear of him. 

Very interesting. 

When she refused to help, Hunter tested the waters. “Can’t, or won’t?” he asked, allowing his threatening tone to bleed through.

Defiance and challenge shone in her eyes at this, telling him all he needed to know.

Skittish as a front, but the moment you pushed her, that persona faded and her true nature replaced it. 

Yet she was still respectful. That was new. Perhaps all she needed was a nudge to help them. 

Or perhaps a strong push, he realized as she stared him down. Now that was an unusual trait. A trait he had to respect and give her credit for. 

“I said no. I get you ain’t used to hearin’ that, sergeant, but I don’t work well with threats.”

No you don’t. I’ll give you that. 

But this woman needed to know he wasn’t joking around. They needed her help, and if that meant kidnapping her then that’s a step he would take. “I don’t do threats. I make promises.”

Judging by the reddening of her cheeks, his words had the desired effect. Yet still she refused. 

He took a step forward. Predictably, she moved back. Definitely did not like people in her space. 

Maybe he could get her to fight or run. See what she was made of. 

The moment her eyes darted towards a low tunnel opening in the wall, Hunter knew things were about to get interesting.

He was unsurprised when she bolted and slid into the tunnel. Shouting orders, Hunter quickly slipped into the back tunnel he’d found while scouting. 

Meeting her near what he guessed to be the slide into the main area, the sight of glowing eyes momentarily startled him. No human had those. Was Shadow not human? No, she had to be. Unless… was she a Clawdite? Unlikely. 

“Hello there!” 

Another smile tugged his lips. She was interesting, this mountain guide. “Should have cooperated, kid.”

A snort followed his words. “This is a game to y’all, ain’t it?” she grumbled.

You’re getting at it. Not 100% a game of course, but maybe he could turn it into one. “Maybe.”

Her response caused his grin to widen. 

“Then let’s play!”

The true chase was on. 

[awed-frog]

If I may ask, what do you think of the whole sea watch 3 mess? And indeed of the whole migrant situation in Italy?

Well - I have messy thoughts about that. Mostly I’m angry, disgusted, worried and pretty hopeless about the whole thing.

As a recap for people who haven’t been following this (complicated stuff ahead, so I don’t claim to be right about everything): 

1) In 1990, the EU decided on how to deal with migrants by drafting the Dublin Regulation, which came into effect in 1997. The idea was charmingly simple: people seeking refuge in Europe should ask for asylum in the first European country they got to. Optimists claim it was difficult back then to imagine any complications, since immigration was very low and European countries still had borders and everything else, but in hindsight, you have to wonder why countries like Italy agreed to this at all. You obviously can’t get to Germany or the UK without crossing through Italy or Spain first, so the Dublin Regulation was bound to cause huge problems. The other ridiculous thing is that the Italian government that signed this was headed by Andreotti, a nearly immortal ghoul princeling who’d been in politics since the 1750s and had been implicated in at least two murders.

(He’d also been found guilty of collaboration with the mafia, but was let go on a technical detail.)

2) In 2011, Muammar Gaddafi, ‘Brotherly Leader’ of Libya, was killed. We still don’t know exactly what went down - more on that in a second - but a general problem the West has in the Middle East and Africa is that we tend to support dictatorts, no matter how brutal, because it’s just easier to do business and get our way with one greedy and corrupt person than it is to deal with an entire Parliament, but the risk we overlook, time and time again, is that all-powerful dictators tend to become more and more ambitious and form their own plans, which may or may not align with Western interests. In the case of Gaddafi, Hilary’s emails (I know, I know) seem to indicate the real reason the West - and particularly France, as in former President Nicholas ‘I’m the son of an immigrant but he was the right kind of immigrant’ Sarkozy - suddenly got annoyed with Gaddafi is that Gaddafi was planning to introduce a new banking system in Africa - a thing that would rival the CFA franc. 

(That’s a currency used in fourteen African countries which is basically a leftover from French colonialism - it’s managed directly from the French Treasury, and that gives France more or less full control of those countries’ economies). 

So anyway, NATO got all tough on Libya, Gaddafi was killed, and as a result Libya is now a failed state with - if that’s possible - more human rights violations than before - particularly relevant for your question is a very harsh treatment of black Africans (down to and including literal ‘slave markets’ where people are bought and sold, also torture camps and everything in between). This happens partly because it’s lucrative af, and partly because there’s been bad blood between ethnic Arabs and black Africans for generations.

So, aynway, that’s the general context. What happened next is what we’ve seen for the last few years - an increase in the number of immigrants coming to Europe, therefore an increase of the number of deaths in the Mediterranean, therefore widespread panic leading to 

immoral and unethical deals with people like Erdogan (I say ‘people’, lol)

a sharp rise of the extreme right and 

a general inability to welcome those desperate enough to come here and offer them a decent life.

Most recently, Italy’s far-right Interior Minister decided to close down the harbours to prevent NGOs-operated rescue ships from docking. The Sea-Watch 3, which was carrying 42 migrants, decided to ignore this and go to Lampedusa, in Sicily - the closest and safest harbour. Now its captain has been arrested, but it’s unclear what will happen next.

If you’re asking me what do I make of all this - I don’t know. It’s a mess. 

For instance, there are studies showing that if NGO ships patrol international waters, the crossing gets more dangerous, because people smugglers don’t bother finding good ships - they know they just have to get migrants off the coast of Libya, and someone will pick them up. This means more risk for the immigrants themselves, and more money for the smugglers. But on the other hand, no rescue ships there means no help at all, so if something goes wrong, those people are doomed. The same ‘yes but’ applies to many other issues concerning migration. Like, a lot of migrants coming in (and these are people who were left with nothing, including ID) means more of them disappearing into thin air, because of the badly-organized and overcrowded camps. We know thousands of them end up exploited by criminal gangs - in Italy, a particularly brutal business is managed by the Nigerian mafia, which trafficks thousands of women into prostitution and terrifies them into obedience thanks to ‘black magic’, but there’s also agricultural workers, people forced into drug trafficking, kids who end up homeless and so on. Another major problem is that - other than the Syrians - the immigrants who got to Europe over the last decade are difficult to integrate into the legit labour market because they lack the necessary qualifications. Most of the European is now tertiary-based, which means you need some kind of post-high school diploma to do anything, and research shows about half of those coming here didn’t even finish primary school.

(To be very clear: I’m not saying this is in any way their fault, or something that can’t be fixed. But: it does encourage a battle of the have-nots, as people at the bottom - including chunks of the native population, immigrants from Eastern Europe and more recent immigrants from the rest of the world - compete for those few and miserable options open to them, like run-down housing, meagre welfare checks, and a handful of jobs you don’t need qualifications for.)

On top of that, many migrants would need a lot of support, because they escaped from horrific situations - not only those torture camps in Libya, but everything else you can think of: civil wars, political persecution, brutal rapes, whatever - that’s also something that has a cost no one wants to cover. And finally, since coming to Europe is so dangerous, most immigrants tend to be young men on their own - which is exactly the ‘worst’ group of people in any culture.

(Sorry if that sounds bad, what I mean is - we know that for whatever reason, young men everywhere tend to be more reckless than other social groups, and that increases the chance for risky behaviour - especially when the person is not ‘kept in check’ by a well-structured community. Thus, a young man without family or friends is more likely to make stupid or dangerous choices - for himself or others - than, say, a middle-aged father or a young woman.)  

All of this, as daunting as it is, could be solved - after all, this is not an invasion: it’s numbers we can manage - but probably won’t because:

1) There’s some interest in keeping the situation as it is. More migrants means more political success for right-wing and extreme right parties, not to mention huge profits for a lot of people.

2) Right now, the EU can’t agree on anything because of reasons. 

3) Nobody wants to do the right thing, ie treat Middle Eastern and African countries with a modicum of respect and actually support them and their development instead of propping up whatever strongman is convenient and robbing their citizens of whatever isn’t nailed down.

4) The countries on the EU borders have their own issues and right now it’s very hard to imagine those issues ever going away. Like, under many respects Italy’s basically a failed state that relies on the goodwill of half its citizens to keep trudging forward. It never rooted out clientelism, corruption, or tax evasion - plus, it still hasn’t defeated its own mafias, and despite an exceedingly brave and dedicated bunch of policemen and judges (plus all those ordinary citizens risking their necks every day by saying no and living an honest life), the battle against foreign mafias (like the Albanians, and more recently the Nigerians) is probably a task beyond its means.

So, well - sorry this turned into a novel. I guess what I think is - I admire people like Sea-Watch 3 captain Carola Rackete and everyone else who volunteers and fights for the most vulnerable, and I think the current government is a disgrace, but ultimately immigration is a political problem whose only solution is the usual solution to everything else: more courage, more competence, more transparency; less inequality, less greed, less corruption. More democracy, and a democracy operating without the (overt and covert) influence of powerful lobbies. Less support to dictators, fair wages for workers and fair prices for raw materials - even if that includes higher prices for Western consumers. And, above all, more regulations and less power to corporations and stakeholders.

Very few people actually want to leave their homes, but if we keep forcing them out, then they’ll keep fleeing - with all the consequences that entails.  

[vrenaewrites]

MY SELF-EDITING PROCESS.

The thing about being a writer these days is that, even when you’re gearing up to release a book that you’ve worked your ass off on, you don’t really get a break. Besides promoting that book, you’ve got to be one step ahead to keep career momentum going. You should be brainstorming new story ideas, drafting another book, hopefully in edits for yet another different book, etc etc.

Last week, I started the third round of revisions on the sequel to Civil Blood, Accidental Evils. This book was really difficult for me to write, but that ended up being a blessing, because it helped me perfect my self-editing process. I’m a super type-A person when it comes to this part of the writing journey, and I’ve been told my editing system is an organized dream. This post will be solely about my own revisions - I will write a whole separate post on how to incorporate beta feedback in the future.

1. PRINT AND READ.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to print out your draft, put it in a binder, and read it like a book. There is just no way in hell you can really catch the little errors and the flow of the story when you’re reading it out of the word doc on the computer screen. Now, I’m lucky in this respect - I have the resources to print for free. I understand it’s not easy for everyone to do this step. But it can’t be overstated that for my self-editing process, it’s essential. The rest of this process doesn’t work without a printed version.

I would also recommend trying to read this in a different place than where you wrote it. Don’t read it at the desk you write at. Go outside, to the library, to a coffee shop - put yourself in a different headspace. Put yourself in a place where someone would be reading this book. It will open you up to errors and help you pull yourself away from the project and see it more objectively. Don’t know why. But it works.

2. COLOR-CODE NOTES.

Told you, I’m type-A af.

With this book, I went IN with revisions. Mainly because the first couple drafts of this book were really really fucking hard. I (wrote a blog) about how second book syndrome and sequel slump are a very real, very tough thing. I needed a system to help me rein in all the plot strings and name changes and...ugh, flashbacks. Anyways. Here’s the color code I use:

RED: a red tab means there’s a total rewrite that needs to happen. Either I changed a plot point, or it’s cringey, or it no longer makes sense.

ORANGE: an orange tab means there’s a formatting issue. A rogue comma or extra indentation, or a word that is usually capitalized (Chosen) or italicized (bruja) that isn’t.

YELLOW: a yellow tab indicates a storywide adjustment. When you start writing a sequel while getting beta feedback and editor’s notes, you have to make storywide adjustments every once in a while. For example, everyone used to call Papa, Ephraim. Even his grandkids. My betas for CB said that was weird and they didn’t get it. I agreed. So in this book, I had to tab EVERY SINGLE TIME River, Nova, Willow, or Sparrow called him Ephraim and fix it.

GREEN: a green tab means there needs to be clarification. Who’s speaking? Who are we talking about here? Oh, that’s the first mention of Autumn in this book, who is Autumn and what does she look like? Wait, this is a new character. Why and how and who? Clarify.

BLUE: a blue tab means we need to elaborate. It’s different than clarifying. In the spirit of mystery, I like to throw things into the story in the voice of the character and let its meaning come out on its own throughout. Unfortunately, that can be confusing, and it’s only apparent once I go back and read. If it pulls the reader out of the story, it’s not worth it just to be mysterious. Gotta elaborate so the reader isn’t harping on it.

Now again, this book is the book where I perfected my self-editing process. I did NOT do this with Civil Blood, mainly because I didn’t own this many colored tabs. I had like, light blue and dark blue that I found in a drawer at my day job. I marked where there were changes to be made with those tabs and then circled them in red pen and wrote notes in the margins. So you don’t have to do it exactly this way. Whatever you have, use it.

3. GOOGLE DOC “EDIT” FEATURE.

This is something I do for the first three drafts of the book. Once I read through the physical copy and make my changes, I reopen the doc. (I keep a different doc for every draft, as you can see below.)

I go up top to the “editing” button in google docs, and change it to “suggestions.” What this does is, instead of deleting a word when I try to delete it, it crosses it out in green and replaces it in green.

The reason I do this is because it helps me keep track of the amount of edits I have for the story - which I like because I like quantifying my hard work. It also helps because if you decide you don’t want to change that after all, you just deny the edit and it goes back to normal.

Once you get to your fourth draft, you should be pretty confident in your changes. And if you’re not, you’ve got three other docs without all the changes.

I also do a weird thing where I will do major rewrites in a totally separate doc with the chapter title and “Rewrite” as the name.

That way if I change my mind halfway through, I still have the original section. Doing a large change with the “Suggestion” feature is not recommended, because it gets really messy in the doc.

4. ACCEPT CHANGES.

When you close a doc with suggestions, a number pops up to show you how many changes you have to make.

Again, I like keeping track of the number. But then I accept all the changes, plug in all the chapter rewrites, and finalize the draft.

5. THEN WE WAIT. A WHILE.

Ideally, 4-6 weeks. Which sucks. A lot. But again, the longer the amount of time away, the more objective you become. This is very important! Pull yourself out of the forest for a bit so you can see the trees for what they really are.

6. WE DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN.

And again, in perpetuity, until you’re ready for beta readers. How do you know? You will when you are. Trust me.

And that’s how I self-edit my books. Do you have any other helpful tips? Do you think any part of this is overkill or unhelpful? Let me know!

[cowboylikedean]

Can you rec some good shows?

SO SORRY ANON!!! I forgot this was in my drafts but I remembered so here you go 

Sure can anon! Since you said we shared a similar taste… here’s a list of some of my faves!

Cougar Town - This is done by the same people who did Scrubs so you’ll see a lot of references and a lot of the same actors. Also similar humor styles. You’ll even see some characters… Like Ted. Ted is in this show. It’s an adorable family comedy about a neighborhood. It starts as something completely different from what it turns into… the change happens in S1E9. Also because Harry’s tight with the crew that makes it.. there’s even a Harry shoutout in S5E11!!!! 

Xena Warrior Princess - I’m rewatching this right now and falling in love all over again! It’s really A+. Feminist af, gay af… and also ARES! Who is the love of my life. It’s also cool cause it takes from real history… and it’s SUPER meta and I love and appreciate it. Honestly, it makes Spn’s meta episodes look like they weren’t even trying. 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - A classic. One of my best friends is watching for the first time and I’m remembering how great it is. This show is honest and real and emotional. It’s also funny and quirky and campy. It’s really the full package. 

Private Practice - A Grey’s Anatomy spinoff that follows Addison after she leaves Seattle. It’s so much better than Grey’s tbh. It takes itself much less seriously than Grey’s so it’s less “Every! Episode! Is! High! Drama!!!” and more heart. It’s much more of a family vibe than Grey’s too because the cast and practice is smaller. Also VIOLET! and A M E L I A!!!!!!!!!! Amelia’s drug arc is my fave. 

Parenthood - One of my fave family dramas. It’s so sweet and honest. That family really feels like home to me tbh… The arc where the grandmother stands up for herself and finds freedom is a personal fave.. and Sarah’s my fave character. She’s the “messy single mom” character and like…. that was my mom. Hardcore. There’s some stereotypical representation of autism that gets better as the show progresses…. It mainly gets better when a second autustic character who’s an adult is introduced and then it’s much much better. Also there’s some bi representation in this show too. It’s kinda really fucking good.

Brothers and Sisters - My absolute favorite family drama of all time. Follows the Walker family after the patriarch’s death. Is really amazing. Stars Calista Flockhart and Sally Field! so you know it’s good. The political part of it is my fave tho… idk it made me care about republicans? haha but it’s not like conservative propaganda. The family is very liberal except for one child so she’s challenged by her liberal family and held to different standards. idk it’s REALLY good. Honestly I couldn’t explain to you what this show is because it’s too special to me. I will say this.. Older gay representation. Like Silent Generation gay representation! 

Ally McBeal - Speaking of Calista Flockhart…. haha This show is amazing!! Honestly it’s so quirky and cute and most of the time the characters are all super likable. Ally is mentally ill and that’s readily apparent the whole show. Also it does the Scrubs thing where it shows her daydreams and fantasies. There’s a reason it’s a classic. If you’ve ever wanted a 40 minute “drama” lawyer show that doesn’t take itself too seriously and is full of heart.. This is what you’ve been looking for.

Futurama - I watched this with Jasper early last year and honestly, I thought it was something totally different. This show is an animated sci-fi comedy and I thought it was going to be insensitive and ridiculous but it’s progressive and full of heart. It’s also LONG. So if you’re looking for something feel good for the long-haul, this is a great show.

Drop Dead Divia - I still don’t know why I love this show so much. It’s a fat main character - which I love. And she still dates like normal and is beautiful… so that’s awesome. Um… It’s another one of those light lawyer shows that doesn’t take it too seriously. Like if you like Ally or think that sounds up your alley but want something a little more up to date or with a slight fantasy twist, this is your show. 

Happy Endings - This is one of my all time fave “friend group” comedies. It’s got so much heart and emotion and is really sweet. It has a non-stereotypical gay character who is my fave character. It’s a classic and like… I always recommend. if you like comedy shows surrounding a friend group, this is a classic.

Suburgatory - An incredible comedy that follows a girl from NYC who moves to this super rich suburb and has to adapt to rich white people life. It’s hysterical how it makes fun of rich white people and it’s also inspirational watching the characters grow and change. I love this show a lot.

I’ve wanted to keep this list free of shows that aren’t over so you can marathon the whole thing but I need to mention one show that’s still on because it deserves to be talked about more

The Middle - This show is about a working class family in Indiana. They’re the poorest family in their neighborhood. The show deals with complications that come from being poor and how this family deals with it. It’s really special and exciting in that way…. It’s the last of its kind. The way it deals with jobs, college, money… All really special. It’s also got loads of heart and the kids are characterized so well. It feels like a real family and is definitely a good feel-good representation of real life.