#it's so weird because I'm USUALLY very proud of being “OOC” in writing or something. then it's like im cringing out of complete nowhere.

[suusoh]

i miss your johan sooo much!!

I miss him too nonny ToT i miss him too. I'll get back to my post-rurenheim shit maybe when I'm done with my masterlist (or when I'm done getting over my "what the fuck, is the johan liebert you're writing even johan liebert???" cringe phase.)

[heartsformars]

Can we please get Loona from Helluva Boss x Male Reader who is a popular YouTuber/Streamer? I imagine Loona would become a "Where's Waldo?" situation lmao. Thanks for your time!

“My stupid Lovely Star!” Loona x Male! Reader

Summary; [1] General Headcanons [2] You had hidden your relationship for a long time after you became a couple, however, one day you have a small conversation with Loona…. The problem is that you forgot to turn off your microphone

Contains (¡TW!);; Established Relationship, mostly fluff, cuss words, blitzo being a overprotective dad, Maybe OOC

A/N;; YOU WANT IT U GOT IT !! I know I'm a little late on this one, and I'm sorry!!! This is actually my first time writing something from Loona, however I am moderately proud of the result. You didn't specify if you wanted One-shots or Hcs so I decided to write both. I hope you like it!

[1]

— Loona is usually a somewhat calm girlfriend, yes sometimes she tends to punch you but mostly it's usually in a joke manner or when you get her really nervous.

— She would probably act like she didn't care only to later stay up late watching your streams and replaying them on loop while lounging around at work.

— It will be up to you or not whether you decide to keep your relationship secret or public.

— Even if she would prefer you to keep it a secret, since she really doesn't want to be the center of attention for some time. She loves you, but I don't see her liking to appear on camera.

— Anyway, even with your "famous streamer" status she usually has a normal relationship with you in spite of that. She would treat you the same, although in a weird way it fed her ego to go out with someone famous

— Did I mention that Loona would definitely be somewhat jealous? Every time she sees pages or posts from Fangirls or Fanboys unconsciously growl at her phone. And suddenly, she's in a bad mood all day long.

— at first, she would avoid in EVERY way possible for you to meet blitz.

— But you will eventually, don't worry.

— And it really depends too much if he would become a fan of yours, although I don't see blitzo as someone who would watch YouTubers or Streamers….. — But fan or not his reaction would be kind of the same. — Pretending to be okay in front of loona and threatening to kill you if you ever do anything to his baby. — But take it easy! He will do nothing as long as loona is present!…. At least that’s what you think

— Probably most of your dates will be at home, considering that you have a very large fan base and probably more than one will consider following you both when they see you.

— But don't worry! In case it happens you'll always have your beloved girlfriend to tell them to fuck off 💗.

[2]

Today was another normal, quiet day at least in your home. Loona used to hang out there while you watched a movie or just talked about your stuff so it was kind of a habit for her to stay with you and go back to her room before midnight so that blitzo wouldn't get suspicious.

although you never know if he's looking for her right now….

You had checked your cell phone to show Loona something but…. it was already half past seven?!?

You quickly went to the computer to turn on your stream while Loona looked at you a bit angry

-is it because of one of your goofy streams? Fuck it, you can do it tomorrow…-

she sat on the edge of your bed while you just sighed

-I know, I know… I'll make it quick, ok? You can go to the living room, I'll come with you when I'm done…-

she cursed under her breath while you already turned on stream, appearing in front of the camera while some of your fans were already writing in the chat asking why you started something late.

-Oh, I started late due to some pending, nothing important…-

the nervousness of your tone clearly made some people suspicious, but they decided to ignore it while you tried to ask brief questions and doing anything that didn't take so much time

your goal was to make a stream of only 1 hour… 1 hour and no more, however it seems that your time passed too fast when it was already 9:00 and Loona was getting impatient…

maybe you had already turned off stream and had fallen asleep?

No… she kept listening as you were playing some not-so-interesting game… she hesitated whether to interrupt you or not, but opted to just knock on the door to avoid accidents.

you startled at the intrusion before realizing the time, shit, sure it was Loona. The only good thing is that you would already have an excuse to go

you turned off your camera and went to the door

-Hey… are you coming or will you take longer?” she asked in a slightly sarcastic and annoyed tone, to which you simply stammered, getting a little nervous,

‘ don't worry, just give me 5 minutes’

-I'm getting sick of this… never mind, I'll wait for you-

-Sure, love-

you went back to the stream, announcing that you had to leave early However, a few comments caught your attention.

"LOVE!? AHHHH" “Who was she?” “who could be the unlucky one???

Shit…

You forgot to turn off the microphone…

you turned off the stream quickly heading to the living room, hesitating whether to tell Loona what happened or let her find out on her own

and you were sure she'd kill you both ways

[edwinspaynes]

Random questions about smut fics (I am the same anon)

Which smut fic are you most proud of?

Do you like writing smut or other genres better?

Also, you can ignore this one if it's weird, but I notice patterns and wonder.

Why do Wessa always have penetrative sex in your fics but never Thomastair? Will Herondaisy?

The smut fic I'm most proud of is definitely Twenty Minutes. I adore the minute-by-minute structure of it and hail that as one of the best ideas I have had for a smut fic ever. I also enjoyed constantly rotating between Thomas and Alastair's PoV every 30 seconds to show both sides. Also, I had a good time with all the #throwbacks to the ChoT carriage makeout, haha.

Smut is not my preferred genre - fluff and hurt/comfort are, which is why you'll notice a lot of both of those things in all my smut fics. I enjoy incorporating sex into these stories, but the sex itself is usually just Not the Point.

As for the penetrative sex thing. Wessa and Herondaisy (!!!) do indeed have that because... well, why not? Will and Tessa have children, and presumably, James and Cordelia eventually do as well.

This has more to do with Thomastair than anything. TW grooming/dubious consent

Charles is very selfish and I doubt that he was the most uncreative, self-serving lover ever written. Also because he had a lot of shame he probably just like. Did everything super fast, and was not great to Alastair or catering to his preferences. I also am willing to bet that Charles was not the most graciously receptive person to requests like "slow down" since he is Oh So Important, which is ... bad.

So I think that penetrative sex might be triggering for Alastair in a way that it isn't for other characters, and that those feelings would be the antithesis of the safety that he has found with Thomas. So in my opinion it stands to reason that he wouldn't want to do it.

Also, this is another thing: many gay men actually don't like penetrative sex. I had a (gay) friend at uni who complained of this a lot. It's weird to try to make gay men imitate heterosexual roles. I'm not into doing that.

It's pretty clear that the infirmary scene was like mutual masturbation, and that's the only smutty canon we have for them, so.

Also I tried to write it once for Thomastair and the characters would not cooperate, which is the biggest alarm bell that I'm writing something OOC. And being in character is the #1 most important thing for me in any fic, so. Yeah.

[morethanonepage]

For the writing questions, whichever you like of 1, 8, 14, 20 :D

1. what's the fic youre most proud of?

talked about here and here

8. does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

lmfao well @lotus0kid was my roommate for uhhhh seven years? ish? and we met through heroes fandom LOL.

and i do have real life friends that i've met through fandom so obviously they know, but no i don't tell anyone that i know ONLY from real life. i would be too mortified that they might READ IT. like, i've written a LOT of porn. (i actually haven't written as much as i think i have but -- it's too much for non fandom people to know about me!!! they wouldn't understand the community!!!!! the culture!!!!)

14. Do you compare yourself to other writers? In a positive or negative way?

oh i compare myself to other writers SO MUCH, and always to my determinant.

if they're GOOD writers whose stories i like, i feel incredibly jealous and petty and desperate to find things that are bad, actually, in their stories.

if they're BAD writers whose stories i hate, i get mad at myself for judging them because at least they WROTE SOMETHING (and then am also jealous if they have like, a TON of kudos)

if they're r*yl* writers whose stories i'm hate-reading, i get mad at the fandom for BEING so into that dumb pairing (and even worse, gingerrose) and it makes me not want to touch anything star wars related with a ten foot pole ever again.

and no matter what i'm reading i'm always at least partly feeling guilty about READING fic instead of writing it myself.

so, alas.

20. What’s the greatest gift you’ve gotten from your writing?

well not to be cringeworthy but probably ~the friends i made along the way ~

plus also -- i'm creative but in a very timid and limited way. fanfiction is great release for that -- i don't have to come up with characters, i just have to expand on them. i don't have to put my name on anything and risk people judging me for it, not really. i can explore feelings and dynamics and opinions that i couldn't in real life w/o backlash of some kind. it's very liberating but also very safe, in a way.

and since i don't do art or make gifs or anything, this is the biggest way i could be a part of fandom. i do write meta SOMETIMES but i find a lot of the breathless, earnest analysis of fiction that was CLEARLY not meant to Be That Deep kind of -- cringy, the way i find anything too earnest cringy. which is my problem, obviously, not the people write it. but a lot of the stuff i do think about that WOULD be a meta post if i were less of a cynical cold person gets threaded into my fics, usually in what i think is subtle ways, and that's how i get my ideas out there, i guess.

also i work out a lot of spite when i write, tbh. like another thing that will usually jump start me into writing for a pairing is seeing it done SO BADLY but having the bad takes become SO POPULAR. a lot of my finnpoe writing (well, what finnpoe writing i've actually done lolll) is about that -- and so it goes, my teen/high school au for finnpoe was written because i read a truly awful finnpoe high school au that was SO OOC and bad it just made me ANGRY so i. had to write something to counter it.

but i really do mean it about a lot of what fic has given me is, friends along the way. i think a lot of people i've become real friends with in fandom have been through reading my fic, more than anything. which is a weird way to get to know someone, but you all also know way more about me than most of my irl friends and relatives do. so that's something.

[kiyaar]

i'm really curious about this (please feel free to ignore if you don't wanna answer). what's your favorite fic you've written, what is your writing process, and how do you think your writing has improved since Sins?

Hey, anon. I have spent a lot of my life doing this and I will continue to spend a lot of my life doing this, so I’m happy to answer. I think my favorite fic I’ve written to date is Your Favorite Consciousness, tied closely with Our Love is a Ghost. Your Favorite Consciousness came from a time when I was fresh out of my organ removal recovery and I was feeling pretty detached/miserable in my physical form so it’s weird and I used second person and it’s got noncon and exploration of AI personhood, all favorite things. Our Love is a Ghost just fell out of me in a 48 hour period during a cap-im HE period one year and I am really proud of how Tony’s spiral feels in that one. Someone left a comment on that that was essentially “it’s like your characters exist in worlds made entirely of darkness because darkness is all they know” and that was insanely flattering and also exactly what I was going for. My writing process has evolved a lot in the past few years because I have been grappling with some heavy body/brain health issues so my whole life has been sort of interrupted and slowed down. BUT. First: playlist. I can’t write without music. I carefully curate my playlists. Second: set my intention. What am I writing about? What is this story about? Sure, it’s about Tony and Steve having a fight, but the layer underneath that is maybe you realize you don’t love someone the way you thought you loved them. Okay, so I’ve figured that out, time to write. Writing can look like a lot of different things. Sometimes I have to do research, so that means I’m reading nonfiction that dovetails with whatever I’m writing. For instance: right now, I’m reading On Killing because I’m working through a piece of Sins of Omission where the Avengers are essential active combatants whether they wanna be or not, and I’m trying to figure out how Steve feels about his time as a soldier, and what he feels being back in a role where his main job is to find skrulls, do the mental sublimation required to see them as less than human, and end their lives. Okay. Sometimes this looks like listening to 40 hours of disco so you can get into the headspace to write a period piece. I usually start a story with at least a few scenes very clear in my mind’s eye. Usually I know the POV instinctively. I spend a lot of time a.) in the bathtub and b.) lying awake before bed running dialogue. I talk into my voice recorder and transcribe it in the morning. So at this point I have a lot of raw content, right. I work through things one scene at a time (scrivener is great for this). I never write in order, I jump around. I skip things that are boring to me and come back to them. Once I’ve filled in all the gaps, I do a first editing pass. I change things that I immediately know I want to change, I mark larger sections for deletion or revision, I bold word choices that aren’t quite right. Then I start from the top and I work my way through these issues one by one. I pay a lot of attention to dialogue and flow. Usually when something feels off or OOC (plot point or dialogue), for me it’s an issue of character motivation and I have to go back and clarify that for myself before I proceed. Once I have cycled through “this is okay” > “oh my god why did I think I could write this” > “okay, progress” > “I like it but not a lot” > “okay! this is good actually” > “that line fucking sparkles” then I know it’s ready. Then I steal some depeche mode lyrics for a title and slap it on ao3. Is my writing better since Sins of Omission? Yeah, because it’s been like. 9 years. Physical pain writing that out. When I started Sins I was a baby in college and I was healthier and I did not have so many health problems. Since then I’ve accumulated a lot of trauma, but I’ve also written a lot of things, and I’ve done a lot of writing workshops which really helps to contextualize the way you create if you’ve always previously been creating in a vacuum. So now I know my prose is much better than it was, and I know what I like, and I’m not afraid to do weird shit. And now I write original fiction, too, which just shifts my writing process slightly. BUT. Sins of Omission is also not done! I started it for me. Just for me. Literally didn’t think anyone would ever read it. So writing it is sort of different now because I know it has hundreds of subs so there’s another layer I have to sort of filter out when I sit down to write it. This was really long, anon. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[hannya-writes]

Hihihi! I know it's kinda crazy and I just found your acc but I was LITERALLY thinking about a Marvel-SVU crossover and found yoooooou. I mean... The algorithm lead me to you. It's ✨ Destiny ✨ haha So I was wondering if you could write something Marvel-SVU kinda with Carisi x reader (i don't know if you watch agents of shield) where reader has to go UC for Shield and falls in love with him and he finds out she's Shield etc. I don't know if I'm making any sense rn I'm just really happy I found you. And now I sound creepy but it's already too late and I'm sending this.

Dear @lapaquerette : I do not watch Agents of shield, but I did my best! I swear I did! 😭 you totally made sense! But I feel like there's part of this story that are not so good, anyways~ let's get to the story!!

Title: Don't Tell anyone

Fandom: MCU and Law and order SVU

Pairing: Sonny Caruso x Reader

Other characters: no, I think no

Category: romance

Warnings: this doesn't have a happy ending bc I'm bad writing those! This is long I think.

Author's note: for a moment I thought of making this a serie, but my head couldn't stand it! I don't feel like I can picture Carisi in the right way so probably he's going to be very OOC. Also I'm not supper proud of this because I literally did what I wanted with the time line, Captain America: Winter Soldier happens in 2016 however Caruso es ADA in 2020 if I'm not wrong but in this case the events of winter soldier happen in 2020. Also there's like 2 years of difference btw WS and Civil War, and I tried my best! To make everything fit, but you know, you can kick my ass in comments.

• • •

The mission was supposed to last just a couple of days. Y/n had to pose as an assistant to the Junior ADA's why did they need assistance she didn't know, but when Nick fury assigned her there she just didn't dared to ask.

"Find out what's going on there" he had said as if it was a life or dead situation.

Pepto. That's what happened. High expectations was the other thing happening. The Junior ADA's where being pressed, running towards death case by case.

It was boring, the first two days Y/n had played "who's the jerk of the room?" She had found more than one, stress made that to people. Who cares about cordiality when they had to put people in jail? The answer was Dominic "Sonny" Carisi.

Sonny never yelled or snapped at people, he always asked nicely about papers, he said "Good Morning" and "thank you". He was a gentleman, a knight in a shiny armor. He made funny jokes even when he was struggling with a case.

Y/n had felt a weird desire to help him after just one encounter. The puppy eyes, she reasoned. After that day when he was in court she appeared there, sat and suddenly the people being cross-examined poured the truth without control or bursted in fit of rage confessing everything. She wasn't making something bad, she was helping, which she was supposed to do. No one was going to link her to those incidents. No one knew what she could do.

— copies, now — one of ADA's order her and she almost pushed the asshole and told him to do it himself, it was only a copy machine, he only had to push a button! However, Y/n was a trained spy, she had control over every muscle in her face to not make a disgusted expression at the tall and skinny man. 63 ways to kill him appeared in her head in a second.

— Sure thing — she said in a gently tone, entertaining her mind in the more horrible ways to deal with Tommy.

Tommy Parish, a bully in and out of court, linked to the Irish Mafia. He thought he was a big fish, prepotent but surprisingly brilliant. He was like a weasel. He wasn't that important. Shield wasn't interested by his night activities. They thought there was something else, something more important. Y/n didn't think so. The more interesting thing there was...

— Oh, Sorry didn't meant to...— Sonny said as he almost hit Y/n with the door.

— my fault, I was standing here like a creep — she took the guilt with a sheepish smile.

— A penny for your thoughts — he said as he walked outside and Y/n instinctively followed, as she usually followed after director Nick Fury,

— I think I'm being punished — she said while walking aimlessly, if Sonny had walked in the male restroom she would have probably followed him blindly.

— punish? For what? Did Tommy said something mean to you again? — the blond man sounded concerned and for Y/n it was refreshing, people around her tended to be more defensive around her than being worried about her well being.

— no! I think Tommy is warming up to me — Y/n said proudly — it's my umm... Dad, he send me to live here and I think is because he is mad at me —

There was a small silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable.

— why would he be mad? You are amazing! — Sonny sounded so positive and brilliant, he always seemed to have that aura around him, even in the worst cases. Y/n noticed it, and worried her when he started to lose his shine.

— in my last job, I made a mistake and people got hurt — the confession was sincere. She wasn't lying, she was omitting that those people didn't just "got hurt", they died. She had killed them.

— You are human, humans make mistakes — he said stopping in front of an embellished door. — talk later? — he asked and Y/n nodded with a smile.

•••

After a month everything still was normal. No conspicuous action, no weird people. Y/n wondered why was she there? Was she really being punished by Fury? She had made a mistake, she had chose to save a person, she couldn't know that the objective was going to detonate the whole place. She couldn't read every single thought, her brain would melt if she even tried.

— Sorry, I need to... — said Sonny pointing at the copy machine, y/n blushed for being caught spacing out, again for the 4 time in a week

— I'm so sorry, allow me — y/n extended a hand offering to make the copy for Carisi.

— don't worry, I can push a button — he said making her smile and feel weird.

— please Mr. Carisi, let me be of help — she offered tilting her head a little bit, Sonny found that little action distracting and cute enough to give her the papers he needed to copy.

He saw her move, she was so elegant even just making copies.

— thank you — he told her sighing exhausted.

— don't worry Mr. Carisi, I'll do this, get it in a folder and get it back to you, why don't you go rest your eyes a bit? — she asked with a smile, noticing his tired demeanor

— I'll do it, if you start calling me Sonny — he negotiated and she laughed whole heartedly — come on, everytime you call me Mr. Carisi I feel like you are talking to my father —

— fine, you got yourself a deal — she offered her hand and he took her in his bigger one. Sonny felt asleep with the sound of the copy machine working.

— Sonny, Sonny — Y/n soft voice took him out of dreamland, he found out in that moment that his Nickname sounded awesome from Y/n lips.

•••

From Sonny's eyes y/n was an amazing woman who was able to help everyone with their tasks, she made copies, keep archives ordered, got everything for everyone. She made time to know all of the junior's ADA's of "her room", she served coffee when needed, got them food, kept clean clothes for them just in case. She was like a mother. Sometimes she even helped them found the info they needed. She made all of that and made it with a polite smile. She had been there for like a year and their interactions where short, but he was head over heels for her.

Why? Because she got a great sense of humor, she was nice, smart, sassy when needed, had an excellent memory, she made the best black coffee he had ever tasted. She never got nervous no matter the circumstances. He didn't understand how or why was she assigned to be the "mother hen" of 7 ADA's, but he was thankful. Some days became better the moment she gave him a smile and he imagined that smile was just for him.

Sonny pinched the bridge of his nose in pain. It was past midnight and he was still in his office, working on papers. Practicing his opening statement.

— the truth... The truth....— he repeated trying to remember the next point of the speach. He grunted frustrated.

— Sonny? — the sudden voice made the attorney jump and Y/n laughed.

— Geez, doll! — he exclaimed surprised — You should use a bell — added more awake than before.

— doll? — Y/n questioned rising an eyebrow, Sonny turned red.

— Sorry, I didn't mean to disrespect you — he quickly apologized.

— you didn't, I actually like it — she admitted — I'll allow it — added in a solemn voice — with a condition councilor, only in private I don't need more gossips going around—

After saying those words, Y/n knew that she was digging her own grave. She liked Sonny.

•••

Y/n looked at her phone horrified. Nick had send her and encrypted message. Which was resumed to: You are free of SHIELD, live the life of Y/n Veith. The life he had created for her, an identity that couldn't be connected to the Spy agency. Y/n Y/l/n had died in what they called something like the purge of Hydra. He didn't needed her. He had died. Captain america had basically destroyed the corrupted SHIELD. This was her life now. She was what? a secretary? An assistant?

She should had fail with SHIELD, she should had been there with Fury, protecting him. But she didn't. She pretended nothing happened and followed his last order to her: live like Y/n Veith.

She went with the flow. Acted like everything was just fine, made a routine, followed it to the last point. Untill one day out of the blue she broke down crying in Sonny's office. He was her friend.

— what happened? — he asked on the other side of the desk, surprised that in the middle of his speech, y/n started crying. The case was difficult, a father died to protect his daughter. The teenager girl had been raped and her father was killed by the rapist. It was way more complicated but, that were the facts.

— sorry, sorry — she said cleaning her face with her hands, Sonny approached and offered her a handkerchief that she took hesitantly. — I lost, I lost him — she stuttered.

Sonny kneeled by her side, took the handkerchief and cleaned her beautiful face.

— I'm so sorry, doll — he said even if he didn't understand, Y/n felt his consternation.

— my father died — she said with a soft voice — my house burned down — she added and Sonny understood, her father adopted her, he had saved her and then lost it all. The case had hit too close to her.

— Come on, we had enough of this case — he decided getting up, taking her hands to get her to stand — I'll take you home — he said and she smiled with sadness.

— I don't want to go to my department — she confessed getting up and Sonny gave her a soothing smile.

— We can go to my place — he offered without a second intention, she nodded and they walked away from the office, Sonny ordered an Uber.

Outside of One Hogan place with a heavy heart, y/n leaned against Sonny and he hugged her while waiting for their ride, and during the ride.

Y/n fell asleep without nightmares for the first time in the 6 months after the dead of Nick. Sonny by her side, over the covers and behind a "wall" of pillows fell asleep with the image of a peaceful Y/n.

•••

Three months later, Y/n entered Sonny's little office, she said a "sorry to interrupt", the blond man stopped writing and turned to her eagerly, he tried to suppress his desire to look into her eyes but he wasn't that good at that.

He hadn't seen her in more than 14 days thanks to his overflow of cases and her being stole by homicides DA, who had discovered she was very good in investing.

She muttered a "what?" In mockery, as if the distance and time hadn't even happened and added a "I got you a donut!". A donut that he had craved since morning but wasn't able to get. He sighed a laugh, sometimes it was as if she could read his mind.

— you are life saver, doll— he sighed in relief taking the donut from her hand.

— Should I get you some coffee? — she asked with that caring tone that made him feel special.

— I would love that — he accepted as she merrily went to the coffee machine and poured him a cup and then a glass of water.

Sonny wondered about where did those pretty and elegant glasses came from, have they always been there? She left a bag in the table and walked back to him. He pretended to be working but it was hard to act when she was walking towards him with that dark red pencil skirt that hug perfectly the curb of her hips, the black blouse making contrast, hanging a bit loose over her torso.

— thanks doll — he said when she put the coffee and water in a corner of the desk, he looked at her with a smile — water? — he asked with a joking tone, y/n nodded

— yes, sir — she said in the same joking mood — I took an account of the caffeine you ingest by day, this could be dangerous for your health, so for every cup of caffeine, one of water — she explained with as much confidence as a lawyer making an opening statement.

— are you worried about me? — he was almost flirting, she blushed even if they sometimes flirted a bit.

— I worry about all of you — she pointed out and gave a mischievous smile that made Sonny blush.

— thank you, doll — he quipped with a smile, she smiled back and walked away to Parish desk, the man sat there looked down to his papers as Y/n put a bagel by his hand.

Sonny noticed how Tommy's ears got as read as a tomato and turned to look at her with adoration, the same look the other ADA's got everytime she was near. He had seen how things slowly changed with Y/n presence, at first they were rude, condescending, then they realized that she was excellent in her work. She had saved all of them more than once with little actions.

Y/n had a charming aura and some men in the office had asked her out, Tommy included, but she always turned them down, with an excellent excuse. "I'm seeing someone".

Carisi wondered who. Who was she dating?

•••

— Coffee — she announced as she took a folder and put it carefully away.

Sonny smiled and suddenly thought of Y/n lie about she seeing someone. She had never tell him about her boyfriend, he thought of all of those slice of life moments they had, the banters they have, the many times she had helped him. The times she would stay in his apartment so she wouldn't be alone.

Was he the person she was seeing?

— do you have plans for tonight? — he asked abruptly and Y/n looked at him surprised.

— I got a date with my bed, but I can reschedule — she offered with a smile, she could rest later, she had to enjoy every moment with Sonny.

— do it, I'll take you to a wonderful place — He said with all of his confidence, she giggled — after work? — she nodded contently.

— It's a deal — she said before walking away with a big smile in her face.

Sonny felt stupidly happy. It was him. She was dating him unofficially.

•••

That night Y/n tried to look as perfect as was possible in work clothes, she had refreshed herself, use a little more of make up. She was excited, she really liked Sonny and had wanted to go on a date with him, no work talk, no solving ways to state a question. She wanted to know him in a more personal way.

They sat in a table of a nice looking bar, a decent one. It wasn't pretentious, they actually served food and not just greasy fast food. She had told him distorted versions of stories with her "family and friends", (since she couldn't talk about her real life and training) like that time her father had taught her how to use a gun for her homework and she discovered she had weak fingers.

She heard about his time as a Police officer, a detective nonetheless! Sargent Benson seemed to be a very empathic person, Detective Tutuola was definitely a funny man, Amanda was for him like one more of his sisters. And Sonny discovered that she was adopted by a man called Nick, Nick Veith he guessed, since he thought that was her real last name.

She had two "adopted" sister and a brother: Maria, Natalie and Clinton. Maria was righteous, Nat was smart and sassy, Clint was funny and sometimes really annoying. Sonny thought he would get along easily with them.

They laughed between stories, they were getting fun untill Y/n felt there was something wrong. Something was about to happen. Something bad.

— Something wrong? — Y/n barely registered Sonny's voice before jumping over him yelling a "get down". A telekinetic wake made the other around people fall to the ground just in time as a rain of bullets came from the broken windows.

Sonny heard the glass breaking, people screaming in panic. Saw the bullets fly over him and the bottles in the bar breaking in slow motion. He had never experienced anything like that. The light weight of Y/n over him. And his monkey mind thought about how right that felt.

There was a "clank" from a gas' bomb, then a flash and a cloud of white smoke. People stood up and started running.

— Y/n — Sonny pulled her to see her face, he thought she would be scared, paralyzed from fear. However, when he saw her face there was no fear, she seemed confused, puzzled. — come on, we have to move —

Y/n was thinking the same, but she didn't know what was the right move: defend everyone there using her not-so-human powers? Run away and pretend to be a delicate woman, scared of the situation?

— doll? — Sonny sounded worried and in almost panic, a switch turned as boots hit the floor of the bar.

— Stay behind me — Y/n said with confidence getting up, feeling the presence of 8 people surrounding them, circling them. — and... — she looked at Sonny worried — don't get scared — she pleaded softly.

— Y/n Y/l/n surrender yourself — someone yelled and the woman felt her skin crawl, she hadn't hear her name in more than a year. It sounded good.

— is this about the accords? — She thought, aware of the Sokovia accords and what they proposed. She hadn't signed them. No one was supposed to know about her, her powers, she hadn't expected the government to notice her.

Nat? Clint? Maybe Maria had told them.

— That's right, put your hands in the air — the man ordered in a shout. Y/n closed her eyes and closed her hand in a thigh fist, making the fog disappear.

— Sorry, I can't do that— she confessed pushing the man with telekinesis. — I'm not a weapon you can use —

A new row of bullets flew towards Y/n and Sonny. A bright green light appeared in her eyes and all of the bullets stopped in the air, traces of the same light that made Y/n shine seemed to contain the little bullets like tendrills, the bullets turned in the air pointing at the squadron that was attacking her

— Y/n, no! — Sonny made her react, the tendrills disappeared and the bullets fell useless to the ground as the woman turned to see the Attorney.

— Sonny, sonny — she stuttered worried— no, no, no, no, I would never hurt them, I'm not a monster, I'm not! — she said almost in panic,not because of the attack but for the ideas Sonny could get.

Sonny saw the green and now red light form an eyes over Y/n, then monsters from nightmares formed from the light, monsters like dogs, with skulls covering the hideous animals with blood dripping from their snouts, bodies wet with a black substance. The animals roared and jumped to defend them.

Y/n saw fear in Sonny's eyes. She recognized it, a bright tendril started to form in the exact point of her heart, the fear taking form in her presence. Her hand squished the light over her chest, stopping something else to form.

He didn't know what to say. Carisi knew about the avengers, the new york incident had affected his work, he had saw everything about "ultron", he was informed about Tony Stark and the avengers every move. But he didn't know what was he supposed to say? "Sign the accords" was what he wanted to say. It was selfish for him to ask that, he couldn't do it.

— doll, you're not a monster— he finally found his own voice to say that. — but you have to go —

— Sonny, I... — the ADA put a strand of hair behind Y/n ear taking her by surprise.

— If you don't mind, I'll like to kiss you — he said making her blink in disbelief.

— yes please...— she said and Carisi smiled brightly, his large hand caressed her cheek and softly leave a tender kiss in her soft lips. It barely lasted more than a second. When Carisi opened up his eyes, everything was back to normal. Like a couple of minutes ago, right before the shooting.

In the table was a note: "Don't tell anyone" he recognized Y/n writing. He wondered if everything had been a dream, a hallucination. A part of him told him that no, that couldn't be his imagination. Y/n had left.