#it's so stupid but I'm having fucking flashbacks from middle school and my fucking anxiety is acting up. the fuck did i do wrong.
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#probably delete later but fuck i need a moment. my roommate and some of my uni mates are out for one of them's birthday and i wasn't made#aware of it. and it's not the first time almost all of them go out to have a good time together and nobody tells me#it's so stupid but I'm having fucking flashbacks from middle school and my fucking anxiety is acting up. the fuck did i do wrong.#did i even do anything???#i made sure from the start to be open and fun and friendly and made it clear id love to go out and chill sometimes together. the fuck??#and the ''you don't like clubs'' wouldn't work bc they're at her house chilling and THAT'S exactly what I personally consider a fun night#with friends. yes. i don't like going out to clubs. BUT Y'ALL AINT AT A CLUB. just tell me if i did something wrong. please.#i can't fucking do this again. i cannot do middle school and high school again. please. no. how am i supposed to bond with y'all if I'm#never told when you'll be doing shit. literally one call. one text. ''we're doing X. you wanna join?'' PLEASE never assume I don't want to.#i mean. fuck. you ask my roommate and not me? or ever better. you're my fucking roommate and you don't tell me y'all are making plans??#the fuck did i do#imma talk to her obv cuz im not a whiny baby. i confront my shit. but ahah if it comes out i actually did nothing wrong and they just don't#feel like inviting me out i don't know how I'll take it ahah i still have issues and trauma babes I'm always on the verge of breaking. fuck
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