#it's so hard to talk about it bc i DO like the gender selection mechanic

[blood-choke]

hi! i have a question, but before that i just wanted to thank you for giving such amazing sapphic rep in both of your games. as someone who's sapphic (Im a bi girlie) I'm always a little bit disappointed when the female sapphic characters are given not as much thought even when it comes to both female gender locked ros and the female/nb counterparts of gender selectable characters in comparison to the male characters/male counterparts of gender selectable characters in other ifs. i absolutely adore both of your games and the fact that you take such great care with each of the characters' identities, even if they share the same sexuality or gender, they express their gender and sexuality in different ways and i also love the stud rep with hana. And I love that your gender selectable ros in tnp present in a similar way regardless of gender, yet there are still differences in the way that they express it or experience it. my first language isn't English so if i get any terminology wrong please lmk. ❤️

as for my question I was wondering what your thoughts were regarding sapphic ros in IF. do you think gender selectability could be used in a better way to explore a characters' identity in some circumstances. i am curious as to what you think regarding gender locked and gender selectability especially regarding to female/nb ros. i always love to hear your thoughts on different topic so i thought i would ask. ❤️❤️

thank you so much! 💗 now, get ready for a really long-winded response!

honestly, my opinion on genderselectable ROs tends to fluctuate. it's kinda a love/hate relationship, hahaha. there are a lot of games that i think do a fine job handling it, and overall i prefer having the option as a lesbian because typically we don't… get sapphic/gay female characters… like, at all.

now for my controversial opinion: i don't really think most of these female genderselectable characters are actually sapphic. they're just playersexual. and this goes for the opposite, as well, for the male versions. they're not gay or bi they're just playersexual. genderselectable characters can only work if the author is willing to make an effort & flesh out both/all versions of a character as well as acknowledge their sexuality. if one version of the character is meant to be a bisexual woman, then you should be writing her as a bisexual woman. unfortunately i'm sad to say i've seen more than one author publicly admit that this is "too much work," but i suppose i can commend them for being honest about it…

it's been interesting to see this kind of stuff in the IF tag recently. for a while it seemed like we were actually moving more towards favoring genderlocked characters, with set sexualities, and then suddenly it feels like we've ended up in a worse spot than we used to be. i see some really egregious gender essentialism with some genderselectable ROs, down to even their sense of fashion and tattoos changing so the female version can be more feminine and dainty. it's very bizarre, and i really, really do not like it.

i don't necessarily think it's a bad thing for selectable characters to be different. it makes sense in some cases, like if you had a character that was gender nonconforming in all variations. it would make sense that their clothes would be different and their experiences would be different. i even think it can be interesting to explore how certain characters are affected differently by society because of their gender. if you had a character like Lea that existed in a misogynistic society like ours, their experience as a butch would be very different from their experience as a masculine trans man or androgynous nb person… and they would also share a lot of similar experiences, too! but this is not what i usually see. it's usually just… woman: wears pink, is shorter and skinnier, has long hair. man: wears blue, is big and muscular, has short hair. nonbinary (if there even is a nb variation): thin and androgynous artbreeder mashup of the other two. and then in every other aspect they are the same. unfortunately, that's as far as some authors are willing to take it. the rare times i do see someone add in differences it's always just the female version experiencing some form of misogyny that her male counterpart does not, with very little elaboration or reflection.

i don't really think i need to explain why that kind of characterization is a problem.

i do think there is a lot of potential with the gender selection mechanic. i've tried to do something interesting with Lea, and i like to think i've been successful with it. but in my honest opinion, if you want to write a story about gay and/or sapphic characters, you should just genderlock them. for one, the IF audience at large is always going to favor the male version of your character. that is just a fact. if your only female or nb characters are selectable, they will be erased by the wider IF audience. i know this sounds kind of cynical, but this is my honest opinion & my experience as someone who has been involved in this community for almost four years now.

i think if you are someone who is setting out with the intention of writing a sapphic RO, you are doing them a disservice by making them genderselectable. just genderlock them! you may get people that complain, but they can suck it up or go play something else. and i don't think i need to tell you this but just to be clear, genderlocking gay or trans characters is not the same as a game with an all straight or all cis cast. it just simply is not. cis, straight, & white people are already considered the "default." most games already cater to this demographic. it is not the same to genderlock or even lock your characters race or ethnicity to something other than cis, straight, or white. cis, straight, white people are not a minority. you are not underrepresented. there are millions of games out there for you to play. & it's irritating when people pretend like someone getting upset at the exclusion of gay people (or any other minority, for that matter) from a game is somehow comparable to another game "excluding" straight people (or white people, or cis people). arguing this is just blatantly ignoring the reality of our misogynistic, racist, homophobic & transphobic society. again, straight people are not underrepresented. you are automatically included in almost everything except the gay media that gay people create themselves.

gay women especially are repeatedly left out of IF. unless you want to go read yuri VNs (which, no offense, don't really do it for me most of the time) you're pretty much shit out of luck. there are very few lesbian ROs out there, fewer gnc women, almost no butches and definitely no studs that i've seen in this specific tumblr/cog IF space.

so all of this to say, if you do really want to make your characters genderselectable, then just take your time with it. really think about how their gender may change their experiences within the world of your game. does it change anything at all? maybe not. there does not need to be a drastic difference at all if it's not applicable. don't loop back around into gender essentialism. but you should still think about it, and consider what the gender selectable mechanic can offer as a narrative and characterization tool.

what is my plan for this character? what am i trying to accomplish with them and their story? does making them genderselectable add to that narrative or does it hinder it? how can i explore the potential differences between these versions of this character without falling into and reinforcing harmful stereotypes? how does their sexuality impact their experience? i think these are some of the questions authors should ask themselves when deciding if they want to make their characters genderselectable.