#it's set in the future and TOTALLY COMPATIBLE with both canon and real-world science (:

[meanscarletdeceiver]

project humanization, con’t

This is the promised continuation of this post summarizing/brainstorming our boys’ adjustment to their new humanity. 

Focusing on the three who are still sticking close to North Western territory here—James is already off like a rolling stone, but back home… 

Okay, but rewind. Let’s go back to, like, Month 2 of their “new normal.” This is around the point where Edward, who has kind of been hating every minute of this, twigs that he’s been rather… wearing out his welcome by hanging onto his former crew all day long, so one day he forces himself to peel away and wander off on his own, and is just on the verge of a panic attack at the sheer vast solitude of it all when with massive relief he encounters Henry… who is also exploring the non-rail area near HQ, and scarcely within sight distance of his driver, but he’s much more comfortable, and actually kind of geeking out, and has collected more plant clippings than he can handle on his own.   

B, you’ll like this one… I totally see Henry giving his friend a hug, and then, once they decide that they should leave Henry’s driver and find Gordon and rescue Gordon’s crew from their former engine, keeps an arm draped over Edward for comfort. And Edward, who flinched at first because he is still baffled by how personal space and touch work in this form (there’s so much of it!), kind of laughs and says, with amazed respect, “You are good at this.”   

(This dynamic continues for quite some time, with Henry being the guide, and looking out for Edward. They are both conscious that this is an inversion of how they met over a century ago, when Edward was the one totally comfortable being a steam engine, and looking out for Henry, who was the one chronically anxious and struggling and rather existentially uncomfortable. It's a very gentle dynamic, with lots of mutual little-voiced gratitude.)   

They eventually find Gordon, who is every bit as ill-at-ease and miserable as Edward, but far more in denial about it. Also, Edward at least has always been above-average good at human socialization for their kind, but Gordon is sort of… interpersonally challenged, and has learned very few social cues in any culture, so he’s at that disadvantage, too. So Henry and Edward sort of pry Gordon away from his crew, who then dart away in relief to get a break.   

And that’s the first day they venture off railway property alone without being the guest(s) of their respective drivers, just the three of them. Three railway ex-engines, sans rails. It’s a bit overwhelming for all of them, Henry included, but it is also a real adventure, now that they’re together. They dodge the other engines, unable to quite face that yet, but they figure out how to take a bus into Knapford… actual Knapford, not just the railway station. (They encounter James downtown—he hasn’t yet quite bounced off the island yet—and he introduces them in a flash to the friends he happens to be with, and they’re all just staring in awe and even a little fear, because… surely?… it can’t be?… as easy as James makes it look? But yeah, he just takes the wind out of their sails, and after that it’s time to beat a retreat back to Knapford and to find their driver-hosts, because that’s enough autonomy for one day, thank you!) 

But that day is the beginning of the turn. They start meeting up almost every day after their shifts, and gradually overcome their reluctance/shyness to show their new forms to the engines, and learn to use transport to get to their drivers’ homes each evening on their own. Henry soon starts to have plenty of other options in the evenings, but he never goes too long without checking in with the other two, who also do start making more efforts to make themselves scarce and “find something to do” out of their hosts’ hair.   

Gordon still struggles socially in a huge way, though ironically he finds a niche within the year as a guard (for passenger trains, obvs) and railway tour guide. He’s magnificent at it, loving the uniform and the cap and the whistle and the wing tips, absolutely owning his identity to the visitors (who are suitably impressed, and have no problem if he’s a little odd—you could hardly expect him not to be!), and he knows the place and its history intimately, so his tours are fascinating, and the way he banters with the engines they encounter because he’s still genuinely one of the family (and still their bossy elder states-pacific) is entertaining, and like all engines he has more than a bit of a heart for children, but he’s never felt as comfortable around them and as able to show it as he does now. As a steam engine he never really had the knack of it; they were too tiny. As a human it’s easier. His “circle” at work expands far beyond his former crew, much to their relief, but it’s still very hard to convince Gordon to “clock out”—not unless he has something already planned with Henry or Edward. Oh, and it has to be something good. Gordon will make no plans himself, but, predictably, he will complain loudly, and is not above bailing out mid-gathering, if he finds the others’ plans unsatisfactory. (Luckily for Henry not eventually just losing it and committing manslaughter, Gordon enjoys a good long hike, so peace between them is maintained by the strength of that shared hobby, sometimes almost solely.)   

I think Gordon’s social breakthrough would come via dating… okay, well, let’s back up here a moment, and get into “ship stuff.” I see these three being quite OT3’y at first. I didn’t really plan to go here, but the more I thought it through, the more I found it to seem inevitable. When you have a ton of shared history, and then you experience a ton of new firsts together—that’s a guaranteed recipe for some pretty damn intense bonding! Add to that how they literally have no one else in the world they can quite relate to, and naturally they sort of make each other their everything… for a while. Like, not to get too crude here, but who else are you going to be comfortable "experimenting" with? (James had less of a problem, but these three are more inhibited.) B. may be interested to hear that I can kind of see the Henry/Edward side of the triangle being the strongest in many ways. But there's no real notion of exclusivity, so it's all good... especially good because I think it will be a necessary part of their development to date others, but there's no need—or willingness—to "break up.” I guess it’s a poly dynamic, but even putting human labels on it is to subtly mischaracterize it. 

(Also, I apologize to the reader who briefly flew their “huh I guess Edward/Gordon is one of my ships now? wild” flag after reading my little ficlet and then felt that my warning not to “read too much into” their handsiness precluded the fic from being read that way. First of all, I believe you can read a fic however you goddamn want. Secondly, I was damn proud to have yet again accidentally launched a Gordon-related ship that I never intended to. Thirdly, you weren’t actually wrong! That said, I don’t know how long it would take for these guys to get into… that romantic side of things? Maybe it would happen very quickly. Maybe it would take longer. I’m still going back and forth on that. However, this is like circa 2040, and I think at that point society is gonna get much better at letting people being physically affectionate anyway—I’ve been around current middle-schoolers, okay, and the boys are adorably puppy-dog-ish, and they’ll be the new Adults by this period—and I think our ex-engines, after all this bonding, are going to be all about that. Even on a purely platonic level… I see them being a little uncomfortable making contact with real humans, but quickly becoming very comfortable in each other’s space. Ship or no ship. Hope that makes sense?)

Anyway, this is allllllll to say that I think Gordon's social breakthrough would come via dating—real dating, outside their trio. Sometimes he does conceive a great admiration for others… and if he knows you admire him he is just a big kitty cat tbh. Cue, after about two to five years, Gordon entering a lady-killer phase. (I think obviously he'd be into men too, but somehow I see this as a very specific lady-killer phase, idk. Lots of classy cheesy dates in classy cheesy places, and endless interpersonal drama because he's still a social idiot, though I see this phase helping that a lot by its end.) 

Inversely to Gordon, Edward is doing all right socially—it helps that he already had a ton of human friends, and so he can indeed fill up a good deal of the free time that once seemed frightening and endless by getting acquainted with them on their own turf. But he’s struggling mightily to figure out the “work” and “purpose” thing, and without that key part of his identity locked in he’s not quite the same friend he used to be. He sticks dutifully with his starter railway job, and sort of passively agrees to a few transfers, but it’s all the same to him: he goes at everything as doggedly as he can, but it doesn’t make sense to him, it doesn’t fit. Anything requiring long periods of concentration gives him a migraine (and his threshold for “long periods of concentration” is rather low… that’s true for all of them, except Henry, who has great powers of mental focus, and who gets a ton of use out of his library card). Anything involving social interaction, on the other hand, tends to put Edward on edge, because he’s still uncomfortable with the “rules” for interpersonal-stuff-when-you-are-a-person. He doesn’t mind repetitive work, and is rather resistant to the idea of trying anything else, though after a while he will have to own that doesn’t mind is a very different thing from enjoying, and that he’s not functioning at his best (read: is low-grade depressed) without work he enjoys… and without the old daily intimacy/collaboration of the sort of service he once loved so much.   

Am thinking it’s possible that it will be discovered that he is very happy when babysitting? I don’t think Edward would recognize childcare or education as “real work,” so it would take a while for him to accept the implications. Nevertheless, even if it takes a ridiculous amount of time, there’s a possibility that Edward is actually the first to quit the N.W.R. and take a non-railway job. (James quit but did not take another job, lol. And I'm thinking that the football adventure takes place once the prodigal son has returned home asking for work…) Alternately, though, I can see Edward going into management and/or human resources on the railway itself. He’s always been good at balancing everyone’s needs, planning/making things happen smoothly, and had a good head for some of the practical side of railway logistics—and frankly most managers I know don’t seem to have had much education either! 

Honestly, I haven’t decided yet; thoughts on where Edward might wind up welcome. (Despite some of his longing to go back to his old life... that is definitely not a road he would actually go back down even if he could. Edward is a forward-looking sort really. I don’t see him reverting, despite some temptation. He’s never given up on anything before.) In any of his job/career scenarios, though, for it to actually work out for him he absolutely will need a steady physical outlet, which means getting over his new human-body issues.