#it's really funny how much my opinions on this subject have changed. i've grown. changed. rewatched.

[widowshill]

Top 3 Vicki's parentage theories! Dealer's choice if this is "top 3 by likelihood and/or thematic resonances" or "top 3 by amusing you the most". Please and thank you!

Sleepover asks.

this is very long so the summary is:

Paul and Betty

Jamison and Betty

Hansen and Betty

the funnie version:

Liz and Burke

Liz and Quentin

Liz and Dick Garner

explanations below!

1. Paul and Betty. as far as I know this is where they were heading in the very beginning, so even though it's sort of the boring, bookish answer, this is the one that, in my opinion, matches up with the lion's share of character motivations and behavior, and the clues that we're given, as well as ... the most interesting from a character arc perspective, for Vicki.

my overall opinion (and I know this is different from vast swaths of the fandom, I'm not saying it's the correct one! just that it's mine) is that Liz's behavior, attitude, general demeanor towards Vicki at the start makes sense as a sin she feels she owes obligation towards, rather than a secret of her own that she's hiding — a mistake of Paul's, or Roger's, or Jamison's (etc.), that needs attending. I'm taking it as pretty much fact that Liz is responsible for the $50 every month sent to the foundling home from Bangor (via Dick Garner's office), based mostly on the phone call she receives from him after Vicki's visit. the fact that the money started coming at the time of Paul's "disappearance" makes sense to me as a kind of settling of accounts, or act of contrition, for killing him — that she can act as benefactor to his child who is herself an innocent, even if Liz might (rightfully) resent her existence: not yet loved enough to say, adopt her, or otherwise get her out of that situation entirely.

she would feel especially responsible because the Hanscombe's were evidently part of the staff at Collinwood, all of whom she dismissed after Paul's death, putting them out of a job and forcing them to relocate. so she has a double-obligation in that sense, originating at the same period and via the same act. providing for their child goes a little way towards easing her conscience, which she only feels a duty towards after Paul's death — she doesn't send money the first two years at the foundling home, which I think she likely would have, had Vicki been her own daughter.

given the way Liz treats Carolyn and David — protecting them at all costs, willing to forgive any mistake or attitude or wrongdoing (even patricide!), loving them tremendously despite the sins of their fathers — I find it hard to reconcile her initial coldness towards Vicki, and her temper and intent to fire her over small missteps — i.e. playing hooky to get breakfast at Roger's invitation — with a belief that she's Liz's daughter. even with the allowance that she's illegitimate, or that Liz regards her as a mistake or personal failing, it doesn't match what I would expect from Liz (particularly given that David is dubiously legitimate, and Carolyn is the result of another mistake — her marriage to Paul). on the other hand, I would expect her to hold Paul's bastard child to a very high standard of industriousness and loyalty (before she starts to love Vicki in her own right); to invite her to the house on the strict, practical basis of employment, not as a guest; to serve as a natural companion for Carolyn as her half-sister; and to want to keep all the family secrets underfoot.

why I believe so strongly in Betty as her mother has to do with two reasons. the first is Watsonian, which is that Elizabeth lies, and instructs Roger very forcibly to lie, about Vicki's resemblance to the portrait, to convince her that there is no link between herself and Betty, which certainly suggests to me that there is a very close link of some kind. the second reason, Doylist, is that portraits play such a pivotal role throughout Dark Shadows as a marker of identity and bloodline. Barnabas' portrait proving his descent from the Collinses to the family, and proving his vampirism to us; Laura's portrait revealing her as monster and her intentions towards David; Angelique's proving her identity in her various modern guises; Quentin's portrait holding the truth of his years and condition; and so on, etc. Burke is able to question Sam and interrogate the truth while Sam paints his portrait; Tate quite literally creates reality from canvas and brush; when Laura wants to stop Sam's (Josette's) interference leading Vicki et al. to the truth, she doesn't need to kill him, she only needs to take away his ability to paint. and the paintings of ancestors adorning the halls provide the Collinses with a sense of history, purpose, duty, and blood. Jeremiah's portrait is guiding for Liz; scrutinizing for Roger; revulsive for Carolyn; and aspirational, even, for Burke. in that thematic backdrop, Vicki finding a portrait of a woman who resembles her exactly, is perhaps the most significant clue Dark Shadows can offer to the heart of who she is. words — stories and official histories — are variable and fault-ridden in Collinsport, but there is truth and preservation in oils.

that's partly why I'm willing to brush off Sam's account that Betty died before Vicki was born. and Sam is not, by any stretch, a faultless narrator: whether he's deliberately lying, or just misremembering, or mixing it up because of the quantity of liquor in the last decade, a few years give or take in Sam's memory is not significant enough for me to discount Betty. I will say, as a caveat, that the link to Betty doesn't necessarily mean she was her mother: I've seen it suggested that Betty could have been her half sister (via Liz and the butler Hanscombe) or that the portrait is of Liz (Betty being a nickname for Elizabeth). And I think both of those are reasonable interpretations! I think having different mothers and having that strong of a resemblance is very unlikely, though; and Sam's description of Betty doesn't necessarily read to me like he's talking about a young Liz Collins, nor do Roger or Carolyn remark on it looking like an old picture of her. if Jason, or Paul, would have come back and referred to her as Betty as an outdated nickname she no longer uses, or Bette, I'd be sold. As it is, I think direct descendant is the strongest read: that Betty's sudden moving away that Sam remembers was a result of the shame of getting pregnant by her employers, and without means to support her daughter (certainly no sympathy from Paul, or from his wife) gave her up. Which would mean that the portrait of Betty is, in a way, Vicki's ancestral portrait — or a mirror to them, anyway.

the reason that I'm partial to Paul as the father — aside from contributing to Liz's sense of obligation and repentance, and accounting for her coolness towards Vicki at the start — is because I think it makes a lot of sense for Vicki, narratively, to be entwined with the Collinses without being blood related (well, except to Carolyn). and by that I mean discovering she's a Collins is what Vicki wants — to neatly have her wishes granted, to give her a name and a place in the family, is not by my reckoning very compelling. frustrating her a little bit by not making her a Collins by blood, and instead having the circumstances of her birth being a little sordid, challenges her ideas that where she comes from biologically correlates directly into who she is and where she belongs — instead, finding family and the love she's seeking without blood ties to them. and I think there are a few moments that support Vicki not having any Collins blood — like not being able to buy the house by the sea, Liz confessing nothing before her attempted suicide, Liz not intervening when Roger is taking her out on dates, Vicki not having anyone she resembles in the past and instead being matched with the governess — but overall, it's the strength of my wanting Vicki's primary journey to be flawed, and to be a road to change, instead of remaining static.

it's no secret to anyone that I would prefer her to be a Collins by marriage and I will, readily, confess that the more I grew attached to Roger/Vicki the less I became interested in Liz as her mother. But that brings me to my next and final point, which is her connection to Josette, who was a Collins via marriage and not by birth. Unlike in the 1991 revival, they aren't twins, or direct reincarnations, even if Vicki sees some similarity in their appearance — she does, though, feel a close emotional and supernatural tie to Josette, and this specifically plays out during the Laura arc. What interests me is that Josette specifically appears to Vicki and David and makes a concerted effort to protect them — that Josette, in the story that is told at the start of the show, is the patron saint of lonely, miserable outsiders. Vicki and David both have some mystery surrounding their bloodline and their status as Collinses — they both feel loneliness achingly, and the people who were supposed to love them, their parents, did not love them like they should have. In many ways, David is as much an orphan as Vicki is, for all that Roger is a present and loving father; David's mother is either absent or fillicidal or dead. I think it's particularly resonant if you take the reading that neither Vicki nor David are Collinses by blood, and that Josette takes a special affinity to them for that reason — that they, like her, are outsiders among the Collins family, with no blood ties, their lives threatened through the family sins.

(worth briefly noting Roger's assurance to Vicki that "[the widows] cry, Miss Winters, but they won't harm you. Not you. You're my son's governess, not a member of the family" and Josette + Bill rallying the widows to protect Vicki and kill Matthew)

it's not definitive: there is that story Liz relays about Josette protecting her great aunt as a child — and I think it's pretty likely that the aunt is Judith, not Jenny or Laura. but I think reading Vicki as outsider, as opposed to a secret Collins princess, adds a little more weight to her, and Josette's, and David's story — moreover that it makes the way the rest of the family come to love her as one of their own a little more significant, as opposed to being Liz's daughter all along and treating her like the help all the while. plus Vicki could legally marry roger <3 yay

2. Jamison and Betty. I'll try not to repeat myself too much as many of the justifications for Paul and Betty are the same here: Vicki being a sin that Liz feels obligation towards, Betty's portrait having meaning within the broader narrative of Dark Shadows paintings, Liz's behavior not quite what I would expect towards her own daughter. Jamison is, I think, the best contender for the parent by which Vicki would have a blood relationship to the Collins family: Roger is technically an option, but no one seems to theorize his involvement with any conviction. With good reason — he'd have been very young, he was away at school for most of that period in time, she looks nothing like Roger, Roger doesn't seem to know who Betty is or even wonder that there was an illegitimate birth that could have produced a mysterious governess. Their father, on the other hand, would have had control over the household and the means to coerce a member of the staff into bed — which I do not say with any particularly negative opinion of Jamison, other than he was a man with wealth and power in America in the 20th century, and probably acted as any other man in his position has done. Collinses in particular, no matter the gender, have a particular affinity for seducing their own employees. Jamison, I think it's fair to say, regarded his uncle Quentin as role model, mentor, and close friend more than his own father, so it's reasonable to suspect that Jamison adopted a few of Quentin's habits into adulthood.

Notably: Jamison died around the same time Vicki was born, in the mid 1940's. For much the same reasons Liz could have felt it necessary to provide for Paul's child, she could have seen to it that her father's was attended to — penance for a family sin; a lone leaf of the Collins family kept out of poverty — with the added sense of duty that this girl is their half sister, though due to age and circumstances she'll never be acknowledged as such. It's possible, too, that Jamison wished for Vicki to be provided for upon his death, and that's why the $50 was sent every month (the math gets a little iffy, there, because Jamison died before 1947, so again we're faced with the problem of why they waited until Vicki was 2 years old to send her money) But! It might have contributed; perhaps Liz didn't know where Vicki had been taken and had to have it investigated, debated on whether or not to acknowledge her, etc. It feels relevant in any case that Vicki's birth, Carolyn's birth, Jamison's death, Liz's marriage to Paul, and Paul's death/disappearance all happen within a few years of each other.

I think part of why I find Jamison more compelling than Liz x whoever, is that it's just slightly to the left of what's expected, for Vicki and for the audience; it grants Vicki part of what she wants, but not in the way she wants, and in so doing feels a little more gothic. By which I mean it's uncomfortable for Vicki to discover the truth, not just for Liz to admit: there is no world in which Vicki feels discomfort or unease accepting Liz as her mother, even if she'd feel some sadness or disappointment that Elizabeth lied and kept the truth from her. Accepting Jamison as her father would be difficult for everyone involved, and it would significantly complicate the relationships in the household via that discovery. Though about the same age as Carolyn, she would be her aunt, not her sister — her half sister would be almost 30 years her senior, her half brother 20 years — and that sort of uneasiness in roles in the family is very in line with the gothic tradition, as is the kind of ... sexual disparity between generations, for Jamison to have had a child with a much younger woman near the end of his life. Putting Vicki on the same level as Carolyn feels neat, natural (even when the parent they share is Paul) — putting her on Liz and Roger's is weirder, unnatural. Gothic!

I do think, though, it fits how the family seems to treat her, even though Liz would be the only one that knows the truth — that everyone seems to regard Vicki as an adult who is much more mature than Carolyn; that Roger, for all he calls Vicki a little girl, seems to consider her an equal — or at least an equal threat — and snaps at her as such; Liz's style of cool, strict, disapproving love towards Vicki is more analogous towards that she shows towards her disappointment of a younger brother than the (in my eyes) much warmer and more forgiving love she shows for Carolyn. I don't think it's necessary to attribute that to some unknown blood relationship, as Vicki is more mature than Carolyn, generally, by fact of her circumstances and her personality, but having some element of cri du sang in which Liz and Roger feel akin to her, and Carolyn feels she can depend on her for comfort and guidance, would not be out of place.

I'm also a little more forgiving on elements of the plot where I feel Liz had an opportunity to reveal the truth and didn't: Liz's attempted suicide, the house by the sea, Vicki's marriage, Vicki's attempted suicide, etc. Liz admits to Vicki her worst secret — killing Paul — and demonstrates considerable trust in doing so, well before she's pressed to admit it to the other characters. If it's her secret, I think she'd have folded to Vicki — or to someone! — long ago, but, if it's Jamison's secret that she's keeping for him? it makes tremendously more sense to me that Liz can't bring herself to tell the truth not only because it isn't her secret to tell, but because it would tarnish the memory of her father. Liz says that she "cried for days" when Jamison passed, which doesn't necessarily mean that she idolized him, or had a purely positive and close relationship with him, but she did feel very deeply. It would be very hard for her in that circumstance to own up to what her father had done, and to what she had done in preserving the secret. Too, that she's foisting that uncomfortable familial dynamic not only on Vicki, but on Roger, Carolyn, David, etc, which she'd be (I believe) very, very reluctant to do.

All this to say, it scratches some kind of narrative itch for them to say yes, she's a Collins, but.

3. Hansen and Betty. Is this at all likely or what the author intended? no, not really. does it really interest me as a possibility? yes. admittedly most of this theory has its basis on the scene in 60, when Vicki is asking Sam questions about the portrait of Betty, and Sam slips, and says Hansen, mistakenly, before correcting himself to Hanscombe. then, when Maggie asks him about it, Sam gets a little ... defensive? as if to suggest there's some connection he's not admitting.

there's not a whole lot of contributing evidence for this one other than the similarity in their names — I can believe that Sam might have slipped in his memory and confused the two, that it was Betty Hansen, not Hanscombe, or that Hanscombe was her maiden name. The timelines, admittedly, don't add up to much — there's nothing in Vicki's story that matches with 10 years ago, and little in Betty and Hansen's that coincide with 18 years. other than, as already mentioned, the dismissal of everyone at Collinwood — which is the only real remaining link to Liz, and any reason for Vicki to receive money from Bangor. it's not the strongest case for a connection to the Collins family, I'll admit, though maybe Liz had a mind to hire Vicki after what she suspected Roger had done — a girl twice-orphaned at the hands of the Collinses, though not deliberately — or maybe Hansen was sending money every month, a burden that Liz took up upon his death.

what draws me to it is more-so the fact that this theory gives Hansen, the manslaughter victim, a more significant role in the story. his death barely seems to register on anyone's radar beyond being the inciting event that lead to the trial — Roger's lie and Burke's subsequent wrongful imprisonment, not the loss of life, is the original sin. for one thing, we don't know much of anything about him or his connections despite Collinsport being the type of small town where everyone knows everyone — no one seems angry with Burke (or Roger) for taking a life, no one seems to mourn the victim. this would furnish his life with a little more color, and give us a sense of the ripple effects of Roger's carelessness and cruelty — a girl that Hansen loved, perhaps that he had married; a child that he didn't even know he had, or that he did, and had to watch Betty give up, because neither of them had the money to support a child; becoming a widower after the girl's premature death (not uncommon in Collinsport) and seemingly growing distant and unconnected from everyone else in town afterwards. it's not a terribly unique story, but the (generational!) suffering has the Collins stamp — a habit of throwing townspeople in the meat grinder, especially when they're mostly anonymous and not particularly connected to the family, stripping away any history that isn't their own.

for another — this would make everyone's stories a little more connected, with Vicki serving as the keystone. Liz's secret (Paul and Jason, and the dismissal/self-immurement) is almost entirely separate to Roger's secret (Burke, and the trial, and Laura), and a connection between Hansen and Betty would be a kind of crossing of paths, in a way. It would also make Roger partly involved in Vicki's story, even indirectly, even if her parents gave her up long before the accident — Roger would be the reason she couldn't meet anyone left of her family. there's another version, maybe, where Hansen and Betty are involved, or married, but the baby is still Paul's, in which case everything is still more entangled.

in any case, if it were Betty and Hansen, I do think it would make sense that Burke's investigation into Vicki's past didn't yield anything substantial, because he was looking only for connections to the Collins family. a sudden trip from Liz down to New York to have a baby in secret (at a maternity sanitarium or similar) would not have gone unnoticed by any thorough investigator; and I suspect it would have been pretty easy to find gossip about which servants were favored by the lord of the manor, and a girl who very abruptly disappeared afterwards. it's almost ... ironic, that Burke might have overlooked her past because she was another poor kid from Collinsport with no real ties to the family, without any remaining roots.

part 2 .... funnie.

1. Liz and Burke. Well, to start, Liz does say how very handsome Burke is and seems to really like him more than she should and vice versa, that Burke really likes Liz, likes charming her. If it wasn't for the, well, everything, who can say? maybe they were closer and much friendlier ten years ago. Liz does have a proven penchant for strapping young men working in the Collins enterprises and ambitious smooth-talkers. It'd have practically been cradle robbing, but Burke is quite the charmer, and his jaw is so, so square.

Mostly it amuses me because it would piss Roger off significantly if Burke had gotten Liz pregnant, and to add salt in the wound, now he can't even in good conscience flirt with Vicki (at least not more than the level of flirting to which he's accustomed with his other niece). Plus I think it's great if the big soap opera reveal that the man she's been dating that she's actually related to isn't the one we expect. And Burke does look a little bit like her! sort of.

2. Liz and Quentin. Frankly this is ridiculous and I can't believe this is a semi-canon answer to the question but I haven't stopped laughing about it since I found out about it and I kind of like it the best out of all the semi-canon Liz x whoever's. I mean, why should Roger get all the incest? Why shouldn't Liz get to fuck her super hot 6'2 immortal great uncle who's saved from having every sexually transmitted disease on the strength of his Dorian Gray portrait alone? I'd believe that Quentin has a number of illegitimate Collinses out there in the world. he'd charm Liz. sure. what the hell. that's kind of a difficult one to admit to Vicki. yeah you're a product of incest and also your father was born in the 1870's :/ but he is sooooo good looking and good news, you can still meet him!

3. Liz and Dick Garner. the money comes from Bangor ... Dick Garner knows about Vicki and the money ... Liz has been garnering dick in Bangor ... the answer was staring us in the face all along.

[chaosmagetwin]

Hello! My name is Halie (Pronounced Hay Lee), my pronons are She / It, I'm 31 years old, I'm pansexual, but very demi with it, and this post is about who I am! While I'm here, if you're a terf, go away <3 If you're a minor you're on thin ice. Just know not everything I post is appropriate for you.

Feel free to flirt with me if you like, but don't expect much! I'm a chronic fumblr and let's be honest, I seize up like a doe in headlights if people are flirty.

I am very much a writer type (My works are below the cut!), and most of my interests and skills relate to that.

That said, feel free to send prompts of any kind into my box, especially for stories of some kind. The weirder and more genderfucky, the better. Asking for some smut is also fine <3

Owner is @thewhorehome Love you Daddy <3

These're my gender graphs. I would love to consolidate them all into one graph, but IDK what program that would be or what that would even begin to look like considering how many variables there are, so, ya know, I did my best. These are not gender graphs that are a "one size fits all", they are mine. If you feel like associating with them feel free, but if you want to know why [Insert gender thing for you] isn't on here, it's because I have no opinion on it, don't know it exists, or don't think it applies to me! I associate with demons a lot (as the graph says) but I recently discovered that the type of demon I am is the Acedia Demon, or Noonday Demon. Aka, the demon of depression. Basically, I murdered the host of this body and replaced him. Now I’m making it my own body. I strongly feel like I’m not the original host, but I have access to those memories.

Now for a little bit more about me. CW: my BDSM test, A master list to my different writing projects, some selfies (SFW only), and maybe a few other things.

This post is subject to change and be edited! I won't take out any works, but I might change the links if they get updated to AO3! Just keep in mind, anything not on AO3 is some serious Behind The Curtains stuff, and a lot of older work that I won't be picking back up. Be careful, you're looking at my soul.

It's funny, a year ago that "Dominant" was at 7%, and switch was sub 20%. Sadist was also at a sub 20%, and voyeur was... sub 40% I think? I've gone through some things, most of which is from one off dates. I want to be clear, though, I'm not a dom! I'm not a top! These things have not changed. My understanding of them has grown a little bit, and my switchiness is debatable. It takes *very* rare moods and people to activate it, and I will tell you now, you being more of a bottom isn't it.

Now, for the Master list! If you're from The Old Times (there's like.... 4 of you, idk if you're even real, but w/e.) you MIGHT recognize this. It's been 8 million shwillion years, and I've decided to update. Don't go thinking that this means this blog is going to go and get serious though.

First up, the major projects!

Layla is a transgirl space scavenger mechanic, an anarchist from Mars where Hypercorps run everything, and she's just hit a minor jackpot; an empty cargo ship filled with material that can not only earn her a lot of credits, but also reputation. There's just one problem; there's no pilot, there's no destination, and there's nothing to indicate what really happened.

Set in Eclipse Phase (A Transhumanist Sci-fi TTRPG), Hive's Story is a horror, about the scariest parts of being early in transition; not knowing who you are, or who you'll become, and how people abandon you. It's still a work in progress, naturally.

A necromancer witch kills a mech pilot and steals their mech, before raising them to Pilot it for her, since she does not know how to do so. The two of them attempt to save the Witch's girlfriend, A Mech Artificer, who is going to be executed by the Empire for the Witch's crimes of necromancy. The POV character is The Pilot, who has lost most of it's memories, and is completely subservient to The Witch, but has enough personality to wish it weren't.

Be sure to read the content warnings; they're going to be pretty important.

Next up, some minor projects! Some have been dropped, some are still being worked on.

Charm used to be human... before she died, anyways. She's wound up in another world, and she feels different, but it's difficult to say how exactly! She doesn't remember NOT being a Hellsworn, even in her old life, but there weren't exactly Hellsworn there. She's lost, confused, and worse, she seems to be hated by anyone who isn't a hellsworn as well, and now she's being forced into the slums outside the city! Slums that are roiling with deceit, and love, and a fomenting rebellion that major players in the slums are trying to prevent. But she's not the only one who's been isekai'd; John's still trying to run the rat race; he figures he can start small, just be a mason, try to live a quiet life. He didn't think he was interested in a loud life... but something is wrong. He was doing that in his last life... and died for it! He's alone, surrounded by people who tolerate and use him, but he doesn't know what to think anymore.

Hellsworn Charm is a story about a girl on an upwards trajectory from the bottom and finding a ceiling of oppression, and about a man who is on a downwards trajectory from... well, not the top. Both struggle with their lack of purpose, but where one gets a support network, the other does not, and the two's trajectories are on a collision path. The story is more world-building than plot, and once i realized I didn't really have one, it sputtered out. I won't be moving it to AO3, though. I'm not too proud of this particular work.

This post goes into what what it is, as well as explains where it's from ^.^

WHEW. The OG. The one that... almost started it all. There were a few versions of AOM before this, but goddamn, this is the one I put the effort into. It's got some notes in it from when I was trying to rework it, which I still might do, but this version is better than the newer one, even still.

I still want to work on this one, tbh. It's a story about an apocalypse of magic (AOM), with the main character, Rhea, waking up in a hospital, having survived a magical plague in 2020 (I swear, I wrote this in 2012 or something, cut me some slack) that turned her into a Kitsune, and her brother into a Giant. At first, it's all about survival. Later, it's about realizing the depravity of humanity.

The other OG. Lesbians witches who hate each other, and also have to deal with their country falling apart. One is the princess, the other a rebellious peasant. I used prompts to get started on each part.

Honestly, don't know that I'll ever pick this one up again. I like their dynamic, but the world just wasn't it, I think. I've tried reworking it, like, 4 different times.

My very first ever long story, and also my longest even now. Almost 90 pages! I got so far! And god, my pacing was terrible. Fun though. It's FILLED with my annotations.

Aisleigh is a very poor woman who just got invited to Chile to go to a very rich mans party. She gets experimented on midway, and it goes from "Poor girl being uplifted to high society" to "kind of super-hero origin story, except she's now a brilliant fox girl". Listen, young Halie was cooking, but she did NOT know what she was doing.

A super hero origin story, except in this one, the main character began to lose her emotions. Can't really talk much about this one, pretty sure I was writing it while feeling dysphoric and worried about the apathy that was consuming my life :)

A Light Touch of Cold Steel (6016 words) by ChaosMagius Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Warhammer 40.000: Darktide (Video Game) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Hadron Omega-7-7/Veteran Characters: Original Female Veteran, Original Female Psyker, Hadron Omega-7-7, Original Nonbinary Fanatic, Original Ogryn Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Injury, Gore, Nurgle Plague, WH40K Inquisition BS, Robot/Human Relationships, Trans Female Character, Planet Cadia (Warhammer 40.000), Adeptus Mechanicus (Warhammer 40.000), Masturbation Summary: A team of four varlets attempt a dangerous mission of assassination of a plague cultist officer of nurgle. Things go wrong, and Ashley, our Veteran and POV character, takes a little extra heat for it from Hadron.

A small hit of smut at the end of some violence :)

That's pretty much all of what I'm willing to share from my projects these days, but I've got a few more I'm still working on. I may add more to this over time. As of September 2024, these projects are a Mecha story, a post apocalypse mage who is so lonely she's disassociating, and whatever else happens to catch my attention.

Anyways, here's me

Thanks for reading!

[practicalmagicintuitions]

🐰 I've forgot to tell you I don't get the people who criticize your blog, reading other people's opinions, the calm, the humour, the excitement, even the disappointments too, do a lot of good! No matter what the subject, it puts us back in our shoes. You have succeeded in creating a climate of trust, of benevolence, where thoughts can be expressed in a more elaborate way and above all, a listening and consideration even in the divergence. I hope more people will make anon web a better place TNX

Thank you so much, means a lot.

In general, I don't think we should invest so much time, emotions in a celebrity. We imagine them so perfect, they hardly can match with that persona we are creating. I know this because I did that too when I was a teen or a young 20s and you need life experience to understand how false this is. That's why I found it funny and cannot be really mad if very young girls try to prove it (sometimes aggressively) how that certain celeb is in fact as perfect as they think.

HC is an interesting topic though because he is not a usual celeb fuckboy who simply doesn't want to marry, just enjoying the women who are throwing themself into him. Everything he is doing in the relationship field is so messed up. I think he wants to be a carefree fuckboy but wants to project that he is the opposite. And he has a very incompetent, lame team to "help". I mean the free pr advices we gave him were so much better.

He also wants to be so controlled but his annoyance is evident. I found it hilarious. And there is something irritating about him. I mean maybe just me, but I am irritated by the way he wants to sound so smart and someone who knows oh so many things about life, while the reality is the opposite.

He is fascinating, but I feel my interest is fading. In the past, I was moved if I thought about he probably felt resistance from his mother, the way he was sent away. Now I just don't care about this. He is a grown-up,. with money and resources. It's up to him if he wants to change or not.

[jorjathomas]

Comparing existing magazines

As I've began to do some mild research, I thought it was beneficial to gather some information regarding my intended audience. I should see if there's a gap in the market for this particular self help magazine or if it would be high in demand or not. In this post, I have compared old magazines that were published for young women to see what has changed and what particular topics have became more popular over the years. Obviously magazines aren't as popular anymore for teens as most people would pick up a phone and scroll to kill time rather than buy a magazine from your local store however, I'm interested to see the comparison between the two. 

Old vs New

At first, I was going to compare two magazines and analyse the differences however as I started to do some research, I thought it would be interesting to see how certain magazines which have been running for a long period have changed over time as digital journalism has grown. I will contrast these brands with zine businesses which suits my idea.

Tiger Beat:

Google states ’Tiger Beat was founded in September 1965 by Charles "Chuck" Laufer, his brother Ira Laufer, and television producer and host Lloyd Thaxton. The magazine features teen idol gossip and carries articles on movies , music and fashion.’ This magazine is aimed towards adolesant girls just like my idea which is interesting to see the differences. Its funny to see how young women were perceived from looking as this magazines as they seem very celebrity based. As Tiger Beat is created by men, I'm assuming this is what they think teenage girls think about. I would say in the 60s this was true as boy bands where the hot spot for screaming girls however personally having a magazine just to get in the celebrity gossip is draining. The 60s was a very pivotal time for music and musicians didn't have a massive social platform like most artists do now so having a magazine like this is where fans would get updates about their lives. I think my opinions about Tiger Beat are solely based on how this generation has changed, I've defiantly bought zines just like this if it has my idol on the front however when looking at certain quotations and how its predominantly males being displayed despite being for girls is strange to me. For example the third image on the right where it advertised a ‘Peek inside Justin Biebers room’.  Not only does this feed on the artists personal life but it heightens this concept of teenagers becoming a obsessive fan. when looking at this magazine I begin to question whether this sort of content is normal for teenagers or am I just conditioned to believe it is what I should be thinking about as a teenage girl? Its even more ironic that this is made by men aswell but I don't know if that's the activist in me. To conclude, there was defiantly a gap in the market for supporting young adults when entering the real world as you can see. 

Teen zone:

Again, continuing with my previous opinions Teen Zone had the same intentions for their audience. Looking back at their earlier issues, it mas predominantly celebrity based. This involves gossip, looks and updates in their ‘perfect’ lives. This defiantly increased the idea of needing to be famous and look good all the time in order to be successful or good in life. These magazines are full of photoshopped faces with content telling people that they could look a certain way to feel accepted. Although looking briefly at the magazines are harmless I think they can be deep rooting in the problems girls feel in society when growing up. The only difference with this magazine in comparison to Tiger Beat is that they are still running as a business and have changed their content significantly. Teen zone only publish online now and when researching into their content i was surprised when seeing their statement. It states ‘TeenZone Digital Magazine is a magazine for the South African teenager. Teens in today’s society are increasingly being fed a diet entirely consisting of celebrity gossip. This grossly underestimates them. Teens today have voices that we all need to hear. They need to be taken seriously, and to be given the opportunity to express their views and concerns; to ask the important questions and receive trustworthy, accurate advice; and to enjoy themselves in a safe environment. TeenZone seeks to provide this platform. It is a magazine for teens, by teens.’ 

Teens in society now are much more vocal on certain events and I think we are defiantly becoming more aware on subjects which we may have not noticed before. The fact that Teen Zone has turned this around and creating a platform for teens to speak on matters special to them in inspiring and what I want to do also. They've defiantly succeeded well since moving digital as articles are much more accessible than a printed zine.

This is a picture of their website which differs from their zine. They have toned down their imagery and noticed as they are able to add more content onto a site.

As i began to look further into popular magazines from particular decades, eg; teen vogue, J-14 etc, I began to see the same results and outcomes. They were all very similar in content but I was surprised to finally see a magazine which although was produced a little later than the others, was drastically different to the others. Both aesthetically and within their content. This was a magazine called Rookie.

Rookie:

What makes Rookie magazine so different to the others is that this business was created by teenagers for teenagers. They are much more closer to their audience and were able to relate to the content they were giving out. Rather than adults profiting of their perception of what a teenager goes through despite not being one. I personally can see the differences between the two. Firstly Rookie stood out to me because of its collage-like personality. Its much more playful and personal than the previous zines I've looked at. The layered imagery with colourful texture achieves this friendly environment for teenagers to read though. I defiantly want to achieve this with my zine and I am going to look into this sort of work digitally and also physically to achieve a dimensional look rather than all of my work looking flat or 2D. 

This is a screenshot of Rookies site. Not only do they produce articles that teens can read for pleasure or to gain information, they also have platforms that can actually gives teens a place to talk and interact with others which I think is the drastic change for the industry. Interacting with the audience on a personal level proves that Rookie cares for their audience and wants to spark change. Unfortunately Rookie has stop publishing altogether as a business since 2018 for financial reasons.

Other magazines that I am interested in: As I've looked into previous magazines and began to understand their concept and beliefs,  I began to look into modern magazines that also produce the same concept as me and to see what makes them so different especially since there has been a massive sift in the journalism industry. Both of the publications below are fairly similar. Both want to create change and form a safe space where women learn new subjects which may not be normalise yet are very important for personal growth. They both combine their articles with art which helps create a visual understanding of their zine even better than standard text. I defiantly aim to follow these footsteps but I need to search for an unique concept that could help my idea become more popular for a young girl to read. I wanted to this as sadly both of these zines are either discontinued or temporality stopped making issues which makes me assume this idea isn't that successful so far whether that's due to the pandemic or society as a whole I'm unsure as of yet. I will begin to look at the impact of Covid on magazines later to understand why so many of these great businesses aren't running anymore despite having a positive impact on young women.

Got a girl crush:  “Got a Girl Crush is a blog and annual print magazine about women, by women, for everyone. We aim to disrupt the broken narrative of most women's publications and tell stories of all ages, races, and backgrounds of women all over the world. We believe that print is not dead and that there is value to having a tangible medium to read, digest, and share--rather than sharing a link online that is easily forgotten tomorrow.”

(Issue 3, published September 2016 from https://issuu.com/gotagirlcrush/docs/girlcrush_issue05_content-final )

I liked this magazine statement because it isn't restrictive on a specific audience. They mention that their content is open for anyone which I think is surprising. When thinking about making this zine I wanted to think of content that isn't too limiting or biased towards women as I think the real change in society will have to come from men's views and actions aswell as women's. When looking at their monthly articles, it was very text heavy. They had many important figures like planetary scientist Carolyn Porco, human rights activist Grace Lee Bogg menstrual activist & drummer Kiran Gandhi etc. Each had powerful stories to tell and impact onto readers. Despite this the illustrations and other visual forms of art broke down this barrier which is why it didn't look too overwhelming. I will follow through with this if not add more art into my final outcome as I’d like to be more creative for this project and really experiment with collaging. I had briefly did this in the first project and enjoyed the process.

Selva Beat: “Selva Beat is an environmental magazine with an edge. We take environmentalism and place it in the context of your favorite topics – beauty, fashion, culture, food, sex, love – to make activism as accessible and engaging as possible. Founded in 2014, we began as a way of educating the public about conflict palm-oil and have expanded into a multi-media platform that motivates others to better the planet through creative means.”

A magazines visual décor is very important as sadly you do judge the book by the front cover. Initially, this is what I liked about Selva Beat, it was very colourful and they had nice curvy, bubbled typography which isn't that common on magazines. When researching I didn't realise they were very environmentally orientated aswell as being a conscious feminist magazine. I was saddened that they aren't running anymore as I think this magazine would've been a good pivotal point.