#it's really a shame cause i got alot more of my personal shit figured out recently

[ryoki-ph]

hey ive been meaning to say that you are one of my favorite rtvs clippers and the fact we are mutuals is really cool to me :) thanks for thinking my blog is cool sometimes!!

awww thank you, i'm glad we're mutuals as well. i think your blog is cool too! thanks for telling me.

i'm always so surprised when people say they like my rtvs clips so much, to me it's such a simple process that in the end doesn't require much thought, but people say nice stuff to me about it all the time.

when it comes to my channel i honestly wish i could make more vod edits and such, so i wouldn't be a channel that just has clips and could be somebody actually putting more originality into stuff. but alas i'm super busy (especially now) and have primary interests besides rtvs. but the rtvs fan community on the whole is just so nice and understanding i don't feel that pressure too often

[kcllmongers]

We putting in our 2 cents? Hold my beer. 

Ahem. 

I come in peace. I want to have a genuine conversation with anyone who wants to agree or disagree because of well...growth lmao. I’m not going to rant or shade. There’s two things I want to talk about. 

1) Why do y’all care so much about this bitch who plays multiple characters (when you niggas do the same. don’t front) 

2) Why not take advantage of this thing called a delete button? 

First thing’s first. We can’t talk about niggas being sensitive when y’all sensitive y’allselves. It’s just a different type of sensitive. Not the delete and post unfollow but the “I’ma rant in my mentions all day” sensitive. Hate to break it to you but that’s being sensitive. You are responding passionately to someone’s comment on you, your development or you’re expressing how you feel about something. Shit I'm being sensitive rn because I really could've kept my mouth shut but I have feelings about stuff. 

Dipping after causing a mess is being sensitive because well, like many pointed out, you caused it and knew what you were doing so don’t post your unfollow after causing a disturbance. Fuck it and move on, tf? You thought exposing IMs, calling someone ugly, saying you’re slap them all of that WOULDN’T cause a problem? People pick out these FCs and go into this with failing muse already after the first week and it doesn’t help when someone wants to randomly slap you or if you’re called ugly. Personally? I’d laugh and move on but some people are different and you can't be mad at that. Just like we learned and grew from our experiences, we need to let the new comers do that. If you got some dope plots, good development, and having fun then fuck the sensitive bitches you’re talking about and keep it pushing. 

Let me skip to number 2. This is all fake, which we can all agree. This community started as an escape for alot of people and still is. We’re grown now. You’d think with bills, rent, jobs and now new relationships we know how to handle things like adults. The only person controlling your good time is YOU. I’ve stopped giving a fuck what people say about my characters, to my characters on anon because this is all fake. I’m not really the person I’m playing and I have a slim understanding of the whole I  “I'm working hard to play this so the anons are annoying” shit but none of that will matter come the next rp. And if you get that discouraging anon. DELETE IT. You literally have the power to delete the hate and to make them feel small. Turn off your anons, ignore it. I’ve enjoyed my time in rps way more when I don’t respond to anons even if it’s with a funny comeback, meme, gif or whatever. But you know the minute you answer 1 of them hoes, 5 more come up so why continue to do pay pussy bitches any mind? Why make the admins mad when they tell you to stop posting them? I wish I could delete racism, homophobia, colorists, slut shaming, rapists, murderers, shit I want to delete the president of this here country but the beauty of this community is that you can literally come here and delete the toxicity away. Be somebody different and not you. But you niggas choose not to and say people are ‘ruining’ things. No. No one is forcing you to answer or do anything you don’t want to. We have full control of these keyboards and if you get a hate anon? Fuck em and keep doing you sis. Period. Now, going into number 1. This is long so strap in.

I said the only person controlling your good time is YOU. This is an anonymous platform all around. Its not just that anon button. On Tumblr you can have real blogs with your face but in an rp realm its your fave as your avi correct? In WC its your fave correct? Fake aliases and all sis. I’ve been on the phone with some people a few times and there’s only ONE person who’s ever seen my face in the 8 years I've been doing this and ive seen theirs. Now, many of you are closer and know names, locations and all of that. That’s cool and fine but some people don’t want to do that. But even then, how do you really know who is who with all these FCs and platforms? Because your friend said so? That don’t mean shit. It’s scary and it’s even scarier when maybe you’re surrounded by the same bitch in different FCs but stressing out over this person who does this is just a waste of your time and has to be the biggest downfall in this community since that shitty ass blackout that nobody took seriously. Good times but it wasn't hard to figure out photoshop. Anyways. Everyone has their assumptions and honestly who knows the truth? What are we looking at. Typing patterns? plot similarities? FC usages? I mean come on. This is the most vague evidence ever and I know niggas were full of shit when they were saying who this bitch was turns out it wasn’t even them. I knew niggas were full of shit when at point I heard my character was apparently this bitch and it’s just like...naw lmao. My limit might be TWO and honestly I only get the second if it’s a FC I really wanted and eventually the other one dies off but talking to myself? Smutting with myself? 3 WCs? It makes me chuckle at the thought of people thinking I even had the time. I don’t even want to talk to other people sometimes and you think I’m going back and forth between a computer/phone or whatever to do that? Nobody knows me but if y’all did it would be laughable too. I’m so god damn lazy it’s not even funny but listen if there’s a bitch that does that in this community...let them. What does that have to do with you? They’re ruining your development? Your good time? WRONG. 

 Worry about you. Your character and your shit is all that should matter so you can take pride in it when you’re done. Not the hours spent figuring out who is who. You could be thinking its the bitch and it’s actually one of your friends and Ive seen it happen. So what it’s the same plots? People develop differently. We still got CBs with anger problems, Dave Easts who move bricks, Rihannas who don’t drop music or act boujee as hell, Saweeties who act ghetto and so on. Y’all FCs act exactly how they usually do ooc and no one bats an eyelash until it’s someone they don’t know doing it. We all based our characters on real like shit they doing. It’s why we choose the characters because of their resources and development. Same with playing multiple characters. I’ve watched y’all sit and pick out MULTIPLE FCs for new rps but nooooooooooooooooooo let’s blow the sirens for this one girl who’s single handedly bringing down he community right? You’re blaming the downfall on ONE person at this point and it’s laughable because who’s at fault for this shit right now? And don’t say sensitive people because we just spoke about this lmao.

And honestly, if this bitch is that irritating. And you feel it in your core that it’s her. Just tell them straight up. I've done it. I get word that it’s most likely them, they do some funny shit and I dead it. Open our plot, cut off connections. Nope. It’s just not me and with the stories I can’t be bothered with he mess. It’s that easy. you literally have the power at your finger tips to better this community by deleting anons, blocking the bitches you can’t trust and just simply telling someone no. But you guys choose to entertain anons or the people in your IMs asking for smut then go to WC and complain. Your next IM shouldn't be sliding into the pussy or on the dick but should be “I'm good luv, enjoy” they’ll get the message. If not, use your words and say you don’t want to. I’ve done it and it was smooth sailing. But you keep replying and actually fuck???????? But still complain?????? 

In conclusion, I feel like we all play a part in how this community is right now. It’s not just one bitch, it’s not just a group of people. It’s not the sensitivity. It’s everyone. It was me at one point trail blazing through the tags. I owned up to it. But I really just chill and rock with something until it dies. There’s a person that hates this blog, I know they hate this blog because we butted heads and turns out they’re my favorite person I’ve ever got the chance to plot and connect with. And I wanted to tell them I was the blog but it just goes to show shit can run smoothly even when people have different opinions. I don’t agree with alot of shit but ranting, anons and all of that won’t do anything. It’ll just leave a bad taste in the tag. 

SO. With that being said, I open the floor to any disagreements. Agreements? Wanna discuss something you didn’t like? Let’s have a conversation rather than yell at eachother. It just makes everyone mad. 

[eversoslinky]

Boobs... my love/ hate relationship with my body.

Here's an image of a beautiful Brunette, DD breasts bursting out her bra, teeny, tiny waist. She's every straight man's (and gay woman's) fantasy. She's flawlessly perfect and natural looking at the same time. This woman and many others like her the reason I struggle with my body everyday and why I hate my breasts.

Here's an image of a flat chested girl. (I had ALOT of trouble finding this image on the internet!... I typed in double A and triple A breasts and still got some gorgeous photos of glamour models... not quite what I'm looking for, I guess the word "breasts" goes hand in hand with "huge" on the search engine) Grown women can be small busted too and I'm never going to feed into the fantasies of disgusting perverts by posting images of pre teen girls in bikinis. At 30 I was just beginning to except who I am, I'm on antidepressants and have been for the past three years... as a result, my weight has fluctuated I've gained weight on my thighs, hips and midsection... my chest, however, that's stayed the same. I excepted it and in a weird way learnt to love my body... until I met someone who messed up my head and made me hate my figure.

I "used to" have a female friend with triple D boobs (a size I didn't know existed until I met her) She was very proud of her naturally big chest and rightly so but the problem with people who are blessed with what mother nature has given them is they seem to think they can shame people who have cosmetic surgery to enhance their looks. And that's not cool. Not cool at all. It's the same with men who gush over their favourite female celebrities and their "perfect" bodies. I've got something to tell you here that might upset you a little bit... those bodies are probably surgically enhanced! So don't you dare make a woman feel bad for wanting a boob job! It's frustrating and so god damn awful when your boyfriend or partner tells you he doesn't like big boobs and prefers your natural double A chest but then is watching videos of women with DDs. What you really mean to say is you like natural big boobs? Oh and a girl with a perfectly toned figure who never goes to the gym... I hate to break it to you but those "perfect" girls you love looking at.... their surgically enhanced and they probably work really hard at the gym and watch what their eating to stay looking that way... so sorry to burst your bubble right there...

Being a small busted girl has its plus points though, a few things I'll miss but hopefully they wont be an issue for me when I have my own (ten years in the making breast implant surgery in the new year) The biggest plus is probably that I really enjoy exercise and in particular getting on that bike in spin class and cycling my little heart out. I can lean forward to do push ups on the bike without any "pop outs" accuring (!) The thing I will probably miss most of all is the fact my boobs are my "ugly card." everyone has something which is deemed as "not very attractive" but is in reverse the greatest blessing to them cause it gets rid of shallow fuckers. I get alot of unwanted attention from men, I say this because I look alot younger than what I am and I'm slim, big blue eyes, full lips and high cheekbones. With makeup on I can look quite attractive but this often means that I can attract idiots, fuck boys, creeps and men who haven't read a book since high school and can't have a conversation with me. An guy on a dating site once said to me "I want a girl with blonde hair who wants children." I was moved to finally have met someone who wants a family like I do. I love kids so much. He ruined this by saying "she's got to have really big boobs too!" He kept going on about how I was his ideal woman and I shut him down by telling him I'm flat chested but I wish him all the very best looking for his "perfect" girl. Instead of the correct answer which would be "the size of your boobs doesn't matter to me, you're a nice person and I want to get to know you better." He responded with "A boob job will sort that out... then I'll marry you." Disgusting vile human being. I'll bet you any money, after I blocked him he was probably scratching his head as to why he offended me so much.

When I do get my implants done I'm getting them done for ME. NOT A MAN. ME. Without sounding big headed here: I've not had any trouble attracting a man. No one has ever been put off by my small chest. The type of man I want to attract won't care about the fact I'm tiny on top and got a big curvy backside to rival that of Jennifer Lopez or Beyonce. He'll love it. As for the girl who used to be my friend I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, the one with perfect natural triple D breasts who shames women for wanting to enhance their bodies. She's single, she acts clingy and needy with men and "needs ALOT of attention" I'm so sorry but no matter how hot your body is but no man will put up with that. I think like a guy and I know I'd rather have someone who was independent, ambitious and had their own life going on. Someone who is funny, quick witted and might not return my calls cause their busy doing something fun that doesn't involve me. That's ok.

Last but certainly not least is the fact that people have told me throughout my life that in order to get bigger breasts I must "eat more calories" DO NOT listen to anyone who tells you this shit! It's irresponsible. Firstly not every woman is built the same, weight goes on different places on different bodies. I tried last year eating ice buns from a local bakery, pancakes coated in maple syrup and tea cakes... this was just my breakfast! Every meal had a pudding and everything was covered in salt, sugar and sweeteners. I did this for three months last summer until I realised I had no energy, my depression got a thousand times worse and I gained inches in all the places I didn't want them to go. The people who told me over the years to "put on weight" where nothing but jealous women who didn't like the fact I was trying to improve myself. If you are wanting to gain weight please see your doctor, nutritionist or personal trainer. They will advise you on a sensible safe approach to your healthy weight gain. DON'T eat ice buns for breakfast (like I did!) It won't make your breasts bigger, it will only make you gain weight round the middle.

[ask-lunticas-characters]

Ever fight with all your boyfriends because you tried to help with something and fucked up a bit?

Maybe I should make a fucking AITA (am I the asshole) about this system shit.

We do not keep track of trauma dates. We can't remember when things happened, of that which we are allowed to remember.

So when raven started acting weird, and the father in law showed up (not that long ago this man caused a huge scene that triggered everyone was a straight up threat) we all figured that was why. Even outworld.

It wasn't until night 3 of when taking sleeping meds, would have vivid sexual acts played out unavoidable because the body felt out, that any of us considered body memories.

Once we knew that we tried to catch up fixing the issue. 3 nights of that shit is alot for anyone. Best you can really do is help make things feel good. Literally I have to find different ways to help make the brain blast positive shit to aviod full flashbacks. I messed up a few times and we've had several memories resurface. But that's human error and the fact due to raven blocking asking for sex and to scared and shit, there is a new persecutor.

So fuck what do you do right? Body has to sleep, and we can make raven enjoy it, so we did that. But times real fucking weird here. Because im having to watch and take care of body memories, I was getting yelled at by everyone innerworld that I'm torturing raven or keeping him to or blah blah because the raven they knew wouldn't show up while I was working with outerworld raven, especially if it was innerworld work.

But than at some point ravens weird system thing finally broke. "Raven" is mostly the same raven everyone knows base line. But he's hella more on edge and overwhelmed. He feels trapped and disabled and alone in this whole thing. Even with everyone there. He now fully is the paralyzed blind kitsune seer, though is able to host still... somehow. Apparently he's regressed several years.

'Haru' is the raven I knew off duty. How he would rock out and joke and jump on random things. He's super anxious but otherwise a great partner and band mate. But he's still technically a whole new person. We both know and it's making things awkward.

'Jacob' is Derrick's raven. An omega devoted and loving and honestly kinda sickly to watch. Not Just my jealousy talking btw.

And there is likely many more, unnamed by us.

It feels like everyone's blaming me for it. But what was I supposed to do. Haru now is worried snikit looking at me being too awkward. I like never see Derrick let alone Jacob as they deal with their own stuff as a result of this.

Roy is and always has been kid oriented. After a couple of the older alters took over old jobs of mine cause I'm obviously falling behind. Raven hasn't been all that young. 17? Maybe at the youngest. After that it's not him anymore.

Quentin is so full of his own self shame, cause how dare anything go wrong, especially if he didn't have any back up plans for it.

Raven himself feels like shit, like everything is falling apart. Because well that's what splitting can feel like.

So when I got aj thinking I ran off on him. Kyle not being friendly cause he's got his issues going on. And hell I know me and kyr aren't tight enough for me to talk to.

What the fuck am I supposed to do.

That's all this system has been thinking.

But it went from "I should get r*ped so I can get laid and feel wanted in the most primal way" to "if someone wanted to fuck me I wouldn't say no"

Like what am I doing

- John Constantine

[pinktacofury]

Make yourself feel better.

Hey guys and Gals.... I support the LGBTQ community with my whole little bi heart and I apologize in advance a thousand times for what is going to be said in this Imagine.... it’s one little phrase in an argument but it makes me feel soooooo bad.

Warnings- Arguments, Language, OC being cruel ( Soooooooo Sorry).

A/n I only own my oc I do not own any of the people, places, things, images or gifs in this imagine. Italics- Texts Bold- Replies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Alexis had had absolutely enough, for the fifth time since she had come to practice today Caroline was throwing yet another fit over someone missing a step, taking a deep breath she tried to ignore the brat until she got up in the girls face, Alexis watched as tears streamed down the girls face and decided to step in.

“Lay off, Caroline!” Alexis growled as she stepped between the two girls, effectively turning the shaming from the brunette to herself.

“Like you’re any better! You couldn’t pep up a crowd with those thighs if you were dressed as a KFC Drumb stick!” Caroline shouted angrily throwing her hands in the air.

“At least I don’t use the Uniform to validate myself, my mom isn’t so wrapped up in her job she barely realizes I exist and my dad isn’t some queer who ran off to california to be with his lover (Sorry, Sorry, soooooo Sorry), I don’t need to rule the world to feel like I matter, unlike someone else I know.” Alexis growled as she stepped into Caroline’s personal space, watching the hurt register in her eyes a little smug that she had ended the argument.

      Alexis walked down the sidewalk on the way home, her short blonde hair falling softly across her forehead in loose strands. Carrying her sneakers in her hand she jumped a little as a car pulled up next to her startling her from her thoughts as she looked over to find a rather attractive man looking out the window at her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Would you care for a ride, Love?” The smirk Klaus gave her would have turned any woman’s legs to jelly, only the little human didn’t melt, she simply raised her brow, shook her head and kept walking ignoring him, he stepped out of the car with a slightly frown after putting it in park and stopped in front of her.

“You are tired of walking, your feet hurt and its too hot to refuse the ride.” He compelled her waiting for her to complain about the heat and her feet hurting only to be once more confused as she scoffed and made her way past him making sure to shoulder check him.

“Oh Compulsion, good thing I am immune then huh? What do you want Niklaus?” She asked throwing him for a loop just before the girl disappeared from sight, the faint scent of Coconut, lime, and a Salvatore left behind.

                                        Time Skip... Really long Time Skip.

       It had been a pleasant surprise when Klaus had found the little blonde from months ago amongst a pack of werewolves, she had groaned softly and tried to run, only to find herself waking up in soul searing pain with the lingering taste of blood on her lips, Klaus smiled shoving the human man down next to her watching as horror crossed her face moments before her face changed and she ripped into the mans neck, very little control. Two sets of fangs covered in blood were visible in her open mouth as she looked up at him in complete and utter horror.

“What have you done!?” She squeaked as she brought her hands up to the two sets of fangs protruding from her gums.

“I’ve made you like me, Love. Luckily for me you happened to lead me right to a pack of werewolves.” He smirked and she growled at him as she leaned down and checked for a pulse from the human... of course there wasn’t one, she would have been able to hear it.

“Great... Just great.... I’ve become an immortal psycho killer!” She screamed as she stormed up to him getting in his face, rage seated deep in her eyes as she reached up and grabbed the lapels of his coat.

“Easy love, you may have been the only Hybrid to make it out alive but that does not mean you get to forget your manners.” He hissed attempting to intimidate the little woman.

“Manners! You want to talk to me about fucking manners! You just murdered my whole pack! Made me a psycho killer! And made me eat my best friend! You do not get to start with me about Manners!” She growled throwing a right hook and catching Niklaus off guard as it slammed into his nose breaking it and covering him in his own blood.

“I will forgive that one, your emotions are high and you are confused.” Klaus rationalized as he stared down at the little woman about a foot shorter than he himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damon.... I need your help, Klaus got to me and the pack. I’m the only one left! I’m starving and Scared...

Alexis where are you?

Out by the old Barn on Holloway.

On my way, try to stay away from Klaus... We will figure this out.

Easier said than done.

    Alexis spent the twenty five minutes waiting for Damon covering herself in hay and whatever else she could find, non poop related (because eew) desperate not to be found but not that desperate, to cover up her scent. When Damon pulled up she wasted no time jumping into the front seat and full on panicking as he drove away back to the boarding house where she hoped she would be safe. Precautions had been taken since Klaus had come to town, the boarding house was in Elena’s name, meaning she would now have to be invited in.... this sucked alot, as they pulled into the driveway to the boarding house Alexis lost her shit completely and broke down into tears, her throat burned, everything was too bright, too loud and too clear, her emotions were hell all mixing into one... overwhelming despair. Damon wrapped his arms around her pulling her from the car and up against his chest as he carried her into the house pushing the door open with a kick... none too gently.

“Calm down pup, look I’ll get you some blood, some booze and a bath run. Okay? We can figure out how to deal with all of this after that okay?” He asked looking down at her tear stained face which Alexis turned away from him into the chair where he laid her.

    Alexis lay in the too hot water, her skin burning and turning lobster red but she didn’t care, the water had been run twice to get the blood from her hair and body. She tried to think through all the agony running rampant in her head only to find herself lost in all the pain, she was dead, part vampire, she had killed her best friend, she was cursed to become a psycho killer, her whole pack was gone and now she had to deal with the fact that Niklaus was going to be coming after her..... She had gotten too deep into the Salvatore/Gilbert drama and now she was suffering for it, she was pulled out of her stupor only by the sound of the voice that not too long ago had brought her into her new life.... he was inside the house.

“Now give me my Hybrid or the girl dies.... again.” She could almost hear the shrug in his voice as he stormed up the stairs, from the sound of the shuffling accompanying his footsteps he assumed he had Elena by the throat and was dragging her along to find her.

“She’s not going to go anywhere with you.” Alexis heard the sounds of a scuffle before the bathroom door slammed open admitting a blood covered Klaus.

“There you are, Love. Time to go.” He demanded and to her complete shock she obeyed, stepping into the towel he grabbed from the bathroom counter and allowing him to wrap it snugly around her body, he murmured something along the lines of good girl before he lifted her off her feet and carried her to his car.

“The shit was that!” Stephen growled as he followed them out of the boarding house, he was likely referring to the fact that she had followed the order without a second thought.

“Sire bond.” Klaus called as he walked out the door with Alexis in his arms wrapped in only a towel before setting her in the front seat of the car, closing her door and sliding into the driver seat speeding out of the driveway heading out of Mystic falls.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t have time for this!” Klaus roared causing Alexis to spin around and pin him with a glare that would have scared anyone else.

“You should have thought about that before you ruined my life!” She shouted throwing her arms up in exasperation as once more her simple request for freedom was once more denied... she wasn’t going to be free of the sire bond or the poncy British immortal anytime soon.

“I made you immortal!” He shouted, behind him his brother Elijah had walked in and back out once more when he realized they were arguing again.

“You made me a murderer!” She hissed as they stepped closer to one another with each shouted reply, eventually they were so close together that they nearly touched noses.

“I made you better....” He murmured looking down at her, his gaze traveling between her lips and her eyes before he lowered his mouth to hers, like a fire roaring to life their embrace became heated, a jumble of lips and limbs as Klaus kicked shut the door chuckling as she growled against his lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SMUT SKIP~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What are you smirking at?” Alexis growled softly as she pulled her jeans up over her delicate, intimate wear absent, hips.

“You’re mine now, Love.” He chuckled as he reached over and pulled her back into the bed and against his chest where she simply shook her head and got comfortable.

[allisonm22]

95 Thoughts I Had During the PLL Finale

 If its not already obvious, spoilers below.

1) What the hell is this scene? 2) I think this is a dream, why is there no one else around 3) Jennas on a horse, dream theory confirmed 4) Off to a weird start already 5) Hannah is too nice, Mona tried to kill you honey, let that friendship die 6) Caleb won’t say hi? Thats super fucking shady baby please don’t be A.D. 7) oh fuck is that Melissa?  8) JK its mona..wait why is she even wearing a mask?  9) If I were Aria, I’d be pissed as hell that Hannah brought Mona along, like kick her ass out? 10) Oh god Aria,stop crying, why cant you marry bae? Actually I dont even care. 11) Spencer that was a BOLD move...oh fuck that its for scrabble?! 12) How is Mona trying to act like she doesnt know who A is, didnt she see him/ her at Radley? Or are we supposed to just forget about that? 13) oooh no poor Aria sorry boo 14) Oh hey its mary drake 15) the spencer/ mary drake relationship annoys me to be honest 16) how did the cop not see them holding hands? 17) Ezra is fucking goals..except that time he was kind of A and writing a book about them behind their back. 18) Aria’s dad will forever creep me the fuck out  19) Alison and Em’s mom are being so obvious 20) Alison is deff gunna propose 21) Random thought I’ve had since 2010- Spencer’s mom (before that mary drake shit) looks like Olivia Benson 22) Why do they keep talking about Addison? Why are we supposed to care about her? Marlene don’t make her part of this I WILL FLIP. 23) The moms mentioned the basement! Are they going to tell us how they got out?!?! 24) Nope they are not 25) I’ve been hearing about their relationships since 2010, wrap it up and start talking about A.D.! 26) whyyyyy do they dress Alison so horribly? Like even her pajamas are horrendous 27) called that proposal 28) That ring is so pretty!!! 29)”How much damage can she do in one night” FORESHADOWING!!!!!!!!!! 30) any scene with a naked toby is a gift, I'm about it 31) Toby’s hair looks so soft 32) Who the fuck is playing the piano 33) ohhhh fuck its Mona, im not shocked though 34) Im getting vibes that someone is going to die 35) whaaaaaaat the fuckkkkkk is this place 36) whats happening 37) oh fuck how’d mary get out? I never know how to feel about her 38) DO NOT TELL ME SPENCER HAS A BRITISH TWIN 39) DO NOT TELL ME THAT 40) her british accent is horrendous 41) WREN! 42) Are they trying to pull a parent trap on PLL 43) omg all those times it wasnt spencer! 44) Hannah wasnt sleeping! YO TOBY FUCKED FAKE SPENCER TWICE!  45) I knew i got weird vibes from that airport scene! 46) but why would she do all this if she didnt even know Charlotte? 47) “Till death do us part”...SIG-NIF-I-CANT (sung like Jean-Ralphio from Parks and Rec) 48) Isn’t Wren a fucking psychologist?! there were soooooo many red flags buddy and you missed them ALL 49) oh fuck she killed him and put him in a necklace...casual 50) Remember when Marlene King lied and said they werent going to copy the books? 51) Well actually I take it back she didnt technically lie, she gave us not one but three sets of twins 52) going off track for a second, twins skip a generation so super unlikely that mary drake would have twins 53) also like why couldnt they mention Ali was having twins? im not understanding the twin obsession 54) Back on track...OH FUCK THEYRE WREN’S BABIES 55) Why cant mary help her? thats your daughter bitch! 56) yo Mary literaly sold Alex, I know she didnt have a choice really but thats fucked upppppp. 57) A.D.-Alex Drake....I literally just got that 58) Spencer I wouldve knocked mary out and RAN 59) why does she have bae/Ezra? like what is the point? 60) Rollins looks like Keanu Reeves 61) seriously why is Cece dressed like a fucking pimp 62) wait they just explained like five years worth of plot in five seconds and I can barely understand it because of THAT SHIT ACCENT! 63) honestly them explaining how  jenna/sara/sydney are involed so quickly shows how bad this ending really is 64) Toby is gunna figure it out with the horse doesnt like her!!! 65) Horses always know wtf is up 66) Jennas gunna sniff her out 67) Evil twin is such a big leap to make based off a person smelling weird 68) I feel like that whole squad accepted the evil twin theory too quickly like if someone came up to me and was like hey our best friend smells different I think shes being held hostage and the one walking around is actually her evil twin, I would be like ..............what 69) Mona’s a double agent! I think? another one im never sure about 70) Yay theyre out run babies run! 71) why the fuck would you split up have you people learned nothing 72) whaaaaaat, thats not real theyre not actually outside right? 73) I feel like I’m watching Lost honestly 74) Alex walking around with that axe though is my forever mood honestly 75) DONT YOU FUCKING DARE KILL EZRA 76) WAIT WHOSE WHO 77) OHHHH FUCK DONT SHOOT THE WRONG ONE! 78) He shouldve shot Alex fuck that she helped mary escape jail she could easily escape 79) Arias second wedding dress- SO much better 80) oh fuck you marlene king with your cameo shush yourself right off my screen 81) Mona sells dolls in france.....cool cool cool (not cool) 82) deff the creepiest thing ive ever seen in my life 83) oh wait just kidding now its the creepiest thing ive ever seen 84) so Mona’s just full blown psychotic, weve known that since season two thanks for the well written plot twist 85) Dont tell me Addisons about to go missing for a spin off 86) lol addison went missing for a spin off 87) nope sorry im out, i cant invest any more time into another marlene king shit show 88) lemme save you time babies, you better hope addison is dead, cause if not, youre in for a fucking roller coaster of a life 89) in conclusion, im SUPER PISSED jason didnt come back because i looooooved me some jason eye candy 90) I hate that this whole plot was orchestrated by an new character whose only motivation was that she was friends with cece. 91) why did everyone love cece?! she was so fucking shitty like the fuck? 92) I wanted it to be this intricate theory that theyve been planning for years, I really wanted it to be someone weve seen for the past seven years, someone in the background we wouldnt have even thought twice about, that wouldve had alot more shock value 93) also giving it to a new character takes away the opportunity to link A.D. back the original plot for the first five years. I hate how it was essentially two different stories, it makes me feel like the first five years were a waste. 94) Im just dissapointed because i REALLY wanted them to redeem themselves after the Cece/Charlie shit show and they had so many opportunities to make it great and they continued to drop the ball. I  like the characters and their personal storylines though, thats the thing ill miss, not the fake reveals and actual reveals that make no sense. Im all about their character growth and personally loved watching them grow on and off screen. Its just a shame the storyline couldnt do them justice. 95) Lets not let Marlene King write anymore shows, K? K.

[somedaypast-thesunset]

I'm giving it 30 days. Well maybe a bit more, but give or take 30 days. By the end of September I will take control of my life and I will be better equipped than three months ago. I'm not right now. I know mentally I'm not ready to not be fucked up by this because I don't have all the tools right now and I have to make a weirdly selfish decision to maintain this moderately unhealthy routine while I work diligently to be a better person. I'm not even ready to talk about it with others. I'm not out there like hey guys doing some self improvement reading this doing that because tomorrow it could stop and I could wake up in a shit attitude and want to die. And I'm not secure enough to compromise my character anymore like I don't want to be him basically because they talk so much and do nothing to improve themselves. I want to be better than that. I want to present a whole picture because no-one can complete it but me through active self improvement so I currently don't need anyone's opinion on these decisions I'm securely making for myself as I develop my adult person.

I'm not 3ven focused on being a "good" person. I just want to be someone I can live with. To be something that doesn't give me anxiety. Security of what I know and what I'm capable of.

Today we fought and he brought it to the cycle and I'm not sure exactly how I want to react so I am reacting very little but really want to focus on knowing my securities of my knowledge and what I want not just from this relationship (I told him it wasn't one but he's the one now saying it is) but from the people I fucking interact with. He refused to read my letters because he's "sad" but would not elaborate. I assume it's like he wrote her similar letters or maybe it's guilt that he's somehow leading me on. I am pumped full of hormones so I couldn't help but be sad that he was too sad to read something I wrote out of love where I describe his great attributes and the things he's been for me. I let it past. I was annoyed by another friend and expressed my related annoyance at their brattiness and not having alot of gratitude. He decided this was wrong and they could complain how they wanted. And you know, I'm not sure if it's right or wrong but I don't want to be around someone who doesn't "get it" because it's like a basic ass philosophical morality that all fucking religions have in common - be grateful. Know what you have and when you can complain. I hate the crackheads but I'm more concerned with my internal than my external because as I work on my internal I have more control over my external even in a shitty environment that could easily be soooooooooooooooooooo much worse.

He belittled the point to I could do better by getting a job so the other person can complain because Im not doing all I could be doing. I, however, have zero space to complain. Ever. It is seemingly never appropriate.

I was more offended that he judged everything down to having a job. Like I'm never doing better unless I've gotten a job. My hardships are all caused by me and I'm not doing enough. Yet for six weeks I've been dedicated as he jacks off and complains about how his mom treats him while he jacks off for free in her home as a 28 year old man. When I offered the idea that he might be privileged he immediately degraded the convo again that now he wasn't allowed to complain despite weeks of me listening to his complaints and hearing utterly repulsive nonsense from him. I've gone above and beyond for this person. I have probably given him the most outside of my father and my father wins by length of time because wow. I can't even repeat his shit because why am I listening to it? I am playing with something very dangerous and like longer than September I've accepted it but if I stop it'll be morally okay.

I told him it was upsetting because we don't talk enough about my improvements to make a sweeping generalization that I wasn't doing better because I didn't have a job. He attempted to say we all could do better and that he was lazy and that's why he is the way he is and all of his problems come down to physical fitness. I was now hurt that I was realizing nothing was changing. He was doing the same routine he had been for two years. He repeated he wasn't going to give me what I wanted and that he's already tried to break up with me before. He had clearly complicated and taken my original complaint personal because he's ungrateful and displays it all the time and feels self conscious about the judgement. I was now side swiped - I hadn't done anything but complain about someone else. I told him he was not a safe space to make those complaints so I won't do it again. I am still valid, by his own fucking argument, to complain. Period. I'll just control the space in which I do it because other people choose to take things personally because it's probably fucking true. My father did this alot. He offended people for being super super truthful but also humorous which makes up an asshole. And I don't want to be the asshole my father was but I still accept the attitude because he wasn't wrong. He told the truth. Even about himself.

He decided to end the conversation on his own accord as he usually does because "I never wanted this I told you I'm unhealthy". Even though four hours ago he's asking for nudes.

I called back and told him this wasn't fair. He asked to call me back in a few minutes and an hour later I got a text saying he's stuck having this big long convo because of his opinion that he has to whisper and never express and he's stuck in this and can't leave because ill publically shame him and he doesn't want that so he's just going to bed.

I was like wtf thanks. First of all obviously it's over since youre inferring I've trapped you by psychological force and there's no fucking real feeling there.

Secondly, he has gbs of porn of me. He could easily shame me just to get himself off for fucking fun not even to be inherently evil and that's literally as likely as me doing something to him. Like in our nature? Yeah it is. Would we do it? Unlikely but given the right circumstances possibly. So like we don't need to see eye to eye on this (we wont) but don't degrade it to a fucking abuse shame war.

Also, the I did not say it, this is manipulation by saying this he's putting it on me so if it happens he can justify all the feelings about ppl being against him so even if I've won, he's still won. Nothing changes.

But I've chosen to be offended that he's assumed this of me to a point that he's using it as an excuse. That's pretty flimsy and bullshit - if you want to leave, just leave.

Finally I reminded him that had he read my fucking love letters, maybe he would've felt differently.

Ironically I woke up with the intention to look up properties in pei. I thought maybe I'll invest just a bit more into this since he seems receptive but maybe fate made this happen to remind me to start nothing. Literally sleeping is time better invested.

I believe right now he will complete his cycle and realize he's shitty and probably come back around with a convoluted lecture and I'll let him. If he chooses not to then it's okay because he made the decision for me and I'll be even more free to recover as I will. But I think he will because my points were valid. He told me that people don't care and I think he should listen to himself because frankly I don't care about every fucking thought that passes in his brain. I don't. Some of his thoughts conflict with my thoughts and instead of arguing I just allow him the fucking space. Get a journal. That's all I can say. You want space? Get a fucking journal. No one cares. And if anyone says they're interested it's because it's a fucking trainwreck like no one wants this around them in reality. It's just interesting to watch unfold.

And I'm the last fucking one watching. I'm the last one encouraging him. The last one supporting and dedicated to him. I am building my support system in a healthy way for the first time and he's the last person I'd go to for support unless I need money.

I understand he's sick and I'm giving him space to figure himself out and honestly if he figured out I'm not supposed to be around and told me this in a mature, non random manner I would just go. I'd have closure. There's never been closure during these times. It's always open ended and when it's over "I never broke up with you".

I laid heavily on wanting to be able to share what I learned but not be influenced by his negativity. He said he would try but he knew it wouldn't work. And this was acceptable for him. Which I found outstandingly hypocritical. If nothing else it finally challenged the lingering beliefs that the things he told me so many times was never something that counted for him.

When I got off the phone I immediately said out loud, "I hate him" and hours later I honestly still kind of do. He's such a shitty person in his current iteration. I know he's been better and can be better and I don't want to be another dumb ass chick like oh you know I just want to help him because I've been that chick and I'm no longer forcing my help. I don't want to help him but I will if he needs it or when I identify times it calls for it. I'm not going to explain to him any further why this is upsetting because he will hang himself by continuing it and I will be away from him.

I will not let this go though and I will save that single message because he implies I have information to shame him in public with. If he finishes his cycle, I will continue to mention that he doesn't love me he just fears me. He's tarnished the relationship himself.

At first I was upset that I had sent letters and made a gift and sent him videos but then I wasn't because I'm a great girlfriend and even though I was and am vulnerable, it still makes me a great girlfriend. Whether he knows that or not is his own choice because the next man I love will be grateful as fuck for the love I give him and I will not be second best to someone else.

I know.

Why am I still willing to do this if I know it could be better elsewhere? I love him, I want him to be mentally well and hopefully have a life with him. Im upset his depression hurt me today. I didn't deserve it. And if the depression chooses to destroy our relationship, then fine. I'm tired of being hurt by it. I have my own shit to deal with.

Just in this very moment because I've decided 30 days I have to let things play out without my influence. I need to put my very best foot forward and present myself in a way I can be proud of. No "instant gratification" messages. I was within my right to respond to his very negative message though I would've like to not have. Because I also had that right. That is something to work on. But I did and my response was collected and reflected his own obnoxious beliefs. I stand behind my letters. I literally wrote on paper I want to spend my life with you it's like damn near a proposal. I had the confidence and commitment to do that. I didn't do that with anyone else. It was like defaulted into my first relationship like well this is what we do I guess just this forever. I mean eventually I wanted to because you're with them so long it's apart of you but I didn't proclaim this love. I have the capacity to do so. It wasn't even wasted on him because it's a love letter to myself. Like hey, look what you can give. I would be too scared to share that because I didn't want to be judged or maybe left or something but I did it and I was just like yes, I feel good. And if we aren't together it wasn't lies because this is how I felt at the time. I wanted to but we didn't.

Unfortunately this took up my whole evening. But it's been awhile since this has happened and I know the hormones definitely affected me so I think I'm more emotionally obsessive over it for that but I'm not distraught at all. It's very very important to break the cycle for myself. I participated in it by focusing on it for too many hours but my focus was healthy I think like it wasn't a breakdown of why I think he feels this way but how I feel about it and what I can do about it and how I can learn from it. I want to break it though and tomorrow will be important because I will not contact him. It's unlikely he will contact me anyways but I don't want to initiate it. I said nothing bad and placed the responsibility of breaking up back on him. He will hopefully wake up to my texts and sit on them but we've been in constant contact daily so he will feel the loss.

One month. I can do this. By fall I will have the things I want or I will be free from the binds that hold me from it.

I have the thought of still looking for properties. I'm more scared of this than the letters. I don't want to know what I'm missing. I don't want another failed life plan. It could backfire if I show them to him - he could feel pressured. At the same time I want to show him I'm serious. I want to set an example and maybe get him excited because this is stupid. And I feel like its smarter to start a plan so I don't wait a month and decide yeah let's do it when this could be the thing. I want to walk away saying like I wanted to do this and this I gave him this but he was too lazy to work towards it.

Of course you know what about this fight? That im trapping him? Im hurt but if I was serious about this is it more important than our potential future? It's not. His tantrum is not because I believe better things can come.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

So I blocked him upon principle after seeing this... And because Matt told me to. Because I'm not chicken but Matt is all "I got this 'handled'" So I will let the Man handle.. all that. I was telling my younger brother and he was all "Jesus" And I was all "yeah that's what that boy needs" And he was all "I think he needs more of a Jessica, since Matt's your boyfriend and obviously not into dudes" Hahahaha So apparently the little creep who enjoys "hitting it hard" deleted his hard photo. Matt says he didn't notice because the kid often rolls his pants up.. and to each their own right? Apparently the kid has figured that is how to disguise his giant dick... Sigh So the quads will eventually work into the ass muscles... The lower ass muscles... believe it or not, I left that Google job up to you. So.. y'all see this pecker? It goes to the right--for viewing pleasure it's on the left. I only noticed because I was looking at his pants and well cause they're so tight where else did it go? Other people apparently just look at legs ... Sorry... I don't.. plus like he barely had his legs in the photo. Okay maybe he did. Maybe I'm just a perv Whatever but when your pants are that tight, where is it? Anyways... I'm just glad it's not me all "oh my god, how did I miss all the signals?!?" This time. It's not me the guys are getting hard ons about. This time I'm perv free. So matt had deleted alot of his photos because alot of girls were being perv on them... Haha and he told that guy that so the guy was all mmmm... No girls... I'm a guy. Yummy So this kid is a total control freak. He used to be all scrawny and supposedly although he keeps cropping girls out of his scrawny photos, he claims that he used to be made fun of and was picked on because he was little. So he's like won body building competitions and has totally overgrown his ego to fit his now inflated body... Like it's too big. Matt says he talked about me all the time but that kid was talking about how like... I'm not important.. like talking like Matt's dad. Which Matt's relatively immune to that after hearing it all his life. So the guy thought he was winning in his race to ... Uhm.. getting a head... Haha So... I forgot why I wrote this...But none of this information can be replicated into a for profit literary or theatre venture. It's my information I chose to share. So watch out for predators. This guy is one. You may share the Information but you must correctly claim where you got the information and if I find out some hooch wrote it in some book ... We will further discuss it in a legal suit. Matt's dealing with this now. He wanted to further embarrass the kid since the kid has balls enough to delete the photo after leaving it up for two weeks for everyone to see his cock-iness. Apparently he thought I wouldn't notice. That he's cocky and he's cocky about my friend and my friend doesn't like it. He doesn't like cockiness. Or skaggs. Alright. Jesse is getting anxious to see this dude's penis and so I should post it now. You see that? Jesse wants to see it. I all tried to put my hand over the kid's Johnson so that my brother could see his face and my brother was all screaming no. So Jesse wants his eyes to be raped. Y'all have a good day. I think for Matt.. we could manipulate it into a sexual assault of sorts... There's some type of sexual ... Idk.. I don't know the legal words but there's something... So have fun. Gossip Indulge You know...Matt's not using the photo for its intended purpose.. so girls, guys, you like creeps? Feel free to jack off. Whatever. I think it's offensive and I kinda question myself about posting this. I guess in the end I just like to speak about predators and their natural habitat. Oh.. Matt text him last night and told him that he doesn't want to work out with him anymore and so the kid was all I think we should talk about this in person After he was talking about how he had asked Matt if he could "rub his socket" like shoulder... Anyways. So Matt's elbow hit the kid... I would say Matt blew it off but that's the wrong terminology to use at this time. So the kid is about Control. Like seductive control. He thinks he's got shit under wraps by being sneaky. He's like the kind that's gonna put a camera in the locker room to watch someone shower. And he knows he's strong enough to use violence to win when seduction doesn't work. Idk where or how this kid grew up but... He's certainly trying to take advantage of life now. It's pretty gross and extremely sad. It's sad because he is so lame as to think he can take over someones life because they ask for advice. Totally and completely take over their life. He wants a intimate sexual relationship with Matt and matt is not interested and daily told him he was interested in someone else. Instead of listening he in public tells Matt he's got a hard on with him Sure it could been a joke. But it wasn't. It was sexual harrassment. Complete sexual harrassment which would gone unnoticed had I not noticed he goes to the right. And it's gross. We always laughed as kids about flashers... Guys in big trench coats flashing people in the streets. It's not funny anymore. It's not funny when it happens. And it's not funny when it happens to you. But in the child spirit we laugh at the flashers still today. I've made jokes. I know you've laughed.. some of you. Others whom are probably victims or activists have not. This happens to everyone. Alot of us know Matt. Matt is all rich and famous. Loved. Smart. Strong. Spiritual. Etc etc But this kid thinks that Matt is WEAK enough to be taken over. He thinks Matt is WEAK enough to see a giant dick and fall in love. What about those girls whom think they are in love? They don't what... Wash the car in the right bikini so he slaps them across the face? Because he can? Because she won't leave because she, like Matt, doesn't understand the control process this guy has. Sure professional body builder by 20 and murderer by 25. That's what I see. At least rapist or peeping tom or some creep ass shit. Because this guy is a creep. He's not funny. He's not cute. He's gross. He's controlling and he's dangerous. It's not about Matt and some creep. It's about how people get into relationships (business or personal) and don't understand the other person. My mother is a psychopath. I never really knew, as an adult. I moved out at 22 and never went back. I also moved out at 18. So seriously. You don't know who people are until you know who people are. Everyone was in love with me and Jesse being together. Okay well some people. But Jesse is a sociopath with psychopathic tendencies. I had to not care what anyone thought and make my own decision about our relationship, which everyday Jesse is trying to veto my decision. Same thing when I got a divorce. Everyone was against me. I took it. I didn't give a shit. I got divorced. I refused to care what other people thought about my life and my relationships. This little creeping pecker is doing the same... Except I was living in reality and he is not. He stole Matt's shirts and is jizzing on them at nighttime. I gave my ex an apartment full of furniture and stuff, which he still uses, and told him to get lost. He was like it's okay. but for him it wasn't. He lied. The point is. Don't get with creeps. It's bad. If you feel you're in a dangerous situation, you probably are and you don't need facts such as a photo of a hard dick with literally your name on it when you don't want it. My ex Robby said he didn't like physical therapy because he had a bitch lesbian type grab his junk once... And she was all "no one would believe you, look at me!!" So he left. Didn't go back. Didn't report it. And now won't go to physical therapy. So that bitch won. This kid deleted his photo. But his intentions to take over Matt's life still remains. Who wouldn't want a super rich sweet sexy guy?? But this case, the kid, who is a trainer, is all "I made that body" "I control it" "his body would be nothing without me" that's control. That's wrong. That's bad. That's evil. Because actually Matt took the initiative to ask for help... Ironically so he wouldn't hurt himself working on parts of the body that he hadn't before. Sadly this is painful. My advice to matt is he's smart enough to look at muscle alignments and feel his own contractions in his body and to watch his bowel movements, to know exactly what sort of exercise to do and how and when. I can do it. I know Matt can do it. I don't like him to go to the gym alone cause he could get hurt and no one notice... But at this rate... He could get raped when there's people there!!!!! But ironically my advice is to always trust yourself. It's ironic because this guy trusted himself enough to take over Matt's life. To control Matt. I'm gonna rock this little bitch's world. Cause I heard he reads my Tumblr. I may commented and ran off in insta but here. I don't run. And he's gonna know that now everyone knows what he did. If it helps shame him. Or see himself the way real people see him. People with life experience. Then good If it angers him to the point he wants to be violent, then good. He can go to jail. Because everyone knows that he's a bad boy. And he can delete something but it's not going away. He can know that. He can know I know what he did and does and so can everyone else So he can look at those shirts he cums on and think he can be a good person and toss them and write an apology note and $100 so matt can get new shirts. Oh and btw Matt, that one he gave you back probably at one time, if not, still, has cum on it..So that can be tested.. if he washes his at home cummed on shirts. Or he can go wash his DNA off the shirts and hide and hope I/Matt don't convince someone to get a search warrant for his house. He could even burn them. Or he can be like for real I did a bad thing Or he could bury his face in the shirts and cry and say oh how he will miss Matt and sniff his cum mixed with Matt's sweat. And angrily jack off with the shirts wrapped around his dick. Throw shit. Scream and rampage his room. Then cry on his stolen shirts and sniff Matt's sweat and decide that no one is holding him back and become way more of a criminal he is now. Or just keep repeating that process until he finds someone new to put his creepy dick on, while working out. Like I said. Matt is not weak. But one day someone weak could come across this creep... And their life will end before it ever began because he will be in control of them. He's bi so it could be a girl. A small, tiny, bony girl with no muscle that he keeps that way so she can't fight back.