#it's purple and very obviously a vibrator/dildo

[foxymoxynoona]

Over the Falls (Ch. 6)

Sexy Banner & bar by @borabae-gx

Summary: Jungkook sees a lot of things as a pool tech. It’s…  fine. It pays the bills between mornings on the water and evenings  rocking out with his garage-band. His favorite thing to see on the job has been Grace Birch –older but a hottie, wealthy but nice, and  unfortunately very married. At least until Grace learns what her husband  has been up to behind her back. Now that she’s free, Jungkook finds  himself wondering: what does it take for a guy like him to catch the eye of a woman like that?

Genre: Poolboy Jungkook x Rich Divorcee OC

Tags: Age gap (older woman), socioeconomic gap, Surferboy JK, drummer/guitarist/vocalist JK, Wealthy divorcee OC, househusband

CW: Mature/Explicit,  Infidelity (not between JKxOC), language, alcohol, recreational drugs, lots of explicit sex, ageist/racist/classist remarks down the road, outdoor sex, beach sex

Chapter Five | Masterlist | Chapter Seven

The package sat loudly on the counter, unmoved from the spot Grace had set it when she brought in the mail yesterday. She’d meant to open it last night, obviously, but she’d been at the art gala with Stephanie until late and then decided to call her mom back –who scolded her for not coming home recently enough and threatened to visit, which would actually be kind of nice, except Grace didn’t want her seeing the new house until the renovations were done, or her mom would try to help and Grace wanted this place to be all hers. Then for obvious reasons it was no longer the right time to open the box.

But as Grace made her coffee the next morning, she eyed the box. It would be weird to open it now, right? In the morning? She’d paid extra for the rush shipping though so it felt stupid to then just let the box sit there. She could have just waited for standard shipping then. Not that money was the issue but there was morality in patience so she didn’t usually rush things. This time she’d made an exception after foolishly flirting with yet another man who committed only the crime of politeness –this time the guy at Best Buy helping her choose the right TVs for the new place, something she had never bought in her life and now she needed three and he’d just been so nice and supportive and non-predatory and good looking. She’d thought he was flirting. Maybe he was? After she’d made her purchase and booked the appointment for someone to come set them up, she began to worry he hadn’t been flirting. She hadn’t exactly done anything egregious, just smiled and laughed and felt flirty about it, but that was enough as far as she was concerned. She could not let her libido turn her into the sort of divorced woman who flirted with everything with a pulse. She didn’t want to be that kind of divorcee! 

Not that she thought there was anything wrong with a woman fucking around if she had the opportunity, if she knew it was welcome, but Grace found herself uncertain about taking that sort of step without unassailable, undeniable proof it was welcome. She was worried about inviting the wrong guy into her bed and repeating the last ten years. She was worried about rebounding and getting attached and hurting herself just as she’d finally gained her freedom. She was worried about making a fool of herself at an age she was supposed to have figured things out by. 

Grace set her empty plate in the sink instead of dealing with it now, and turned towards the box. Seconds before ripping it open with her hands –the tape on these things was so weak!-- she recalled the scolding from her nail lady and opted for the kitchen scissors instead.

Sure, she’d placed the order, but still her eyes went wide as she pulled things from the box: a long purple vibrator with a ridged end allegedly perfect for hitting just the right spot; a sparkly pink dildo that made her realize she did not understand measurements because was six inches really this big?!; a spray bottle of toy cleaner; and a plain bottle of unscented lube. The company had also thrown in several sample packets of flavored lube, which kind of ticked her off. What did she care if it was scented? What about her order made them think she had someone to try flavored lube on?!

The dildo was heavy in her hand. It had been at least ten years since she’d owned a dildo, and it wasn’t even one she’d bought; she’d been gifted one at her bridal shower amid ripples of giggles –largely from her own mother and grandmother. She’d never used it, didn’t even know what had happened to it so probably Tim had chucked it. Why would she, she had a brand new husband who’d seemed insatiably into her, willing to jump into the sack at the slightest lift of her eyebrow.

She recoiled from the memories now. They disgusted her. In the end, she hadn’t been enough –no. No, she had been enough, he was just an asshole. Not even a sex addict, just a horny bastard bored of the same sex with the same woman. Well she’d been bored of it too! He hadn’t satisfied her in years but she’d shrugged it off because she’d made a commitment that had nothing to do with good sex, it was about partnership and commitment. She would have endured a lifetime of no good sex…

Nauseating. No longer an issue, at least not for the same reason. She just needed to figure out how people did that. Not sex, she understood how sex worked, but how you got there in the first place. Could it have been as easy with that waiter as saying yeah I want to bang, let’s go? That didn’t seem right. What about… boundaries and condoms and sexual health and whether to stay or go afterwards? What about communicating what pleased her and understanding what pleased him? How the hell were you supposed to know what was good for someone you didn’t even know? And she sure didn’t know what was good for herself anymore, now that she’d let it get dusty down there. It seemed impossible she had ever been single and navigated this, but she had been a young pretty twenty-something and overly confident in her ability to choose good men.

Well. No time like the present. She eyed Foam, happily licking an extended leg within his favorite sunbeam in the empty room that would be the rec room –the walls of windows looking into the back porch didn’t seem appropriate for anything else so she was thinking of putting a wall of mirror on the other, installing a good fan, another TV, an elliptical and a bike. 

Now wasn’t the time to get distracted with home projects. Foam looked like he was settling in for a nap and probably wouldn’t interrupt. 

She carried her goods up the stairs to her master bedroom, the second room just about complete. The gauzy embroidered curtains she’d ordered for all the windows hadn’t arrived yet, nor the ornate rods she would hang them on, and she would take her time finding the right art for the walls–

Sex. Orgasm. Not tasks! Grace pulled the drab curtains closed for some privacy, but left the windows open because the early May morning was pleasant and the paint fumes from down the hall still needed airing out. 

First she dutifully cleaned the toys in the master bathroom sink. Then she set them on a towel on her nightstand to dry as she pulled her pants off. It felt ridiculous to be doing this in the morning… like having a beer with breakfast, the timing was all wrong. But excitement was growing just at the suggestion of a satisfying orgasm, and she wasn’t going to stop now just for some silly notion of right time. She’d spent too much of her life trying to do things at the right time and now look at it all. 

It also felt a little silly to have her shirt on but not her pants, but she decided to leave that too. She got settled in bed, under nice crisp sheets, before realizing she needed batteries for the vibrator. So she wrapped the throw around her body and shuffled downstairs to dig around for where she might have tucked them, feeling sillier by the minute for carving so much time out of her morning just for an orgasm.

Batteries found, back upstairs she went, only to discover it was actually a rechargeable and had blessedly come already charged. 

The Cosmo article she’d been reading had suggested the dildo-vibrator combination for “earth-shattering orgasm,” hence the dual purchase. They had not mentioned that you might feel a bit silly smearing lube onto a dildo at 8:35 in the morning. Lube had been her least favorite thing about sex with Tim –time would tell whether the need for it was simply a fact of life beyond her twenties or if her flailing attraction to her own husband’s pathetic overtures was to blame. God, she couldn’t believe she’d tried to view their sex life as healthy at the time. It was so… pathetic now. So obviously terrible! 

If she kept thinking about Tim, the whole bottle of lube wasn’t going to be enough. She propped her legs open and positioned the dildo at her entrance; the cold lube made her shiver and clench in a completely unsexy way. She grabbed the vibrator with her left hand and positioned it above her clit. When she clicked it on, the vibrations were way too strong at the start and she yanked her hand away with an actual squeak. 

Why was she acting like a teen girl touching herself for the first time?! Grace had a healthy sex life before Tim, including a healthy solo sex life. Maybe dildos hadn’t been her thing but she’d been well-versed in vibrators from the time her mom bought her first one at sixteen with the sage warning use this before every date so you never make a stupid decision about a man. That and a very frank explanation of the birds and bees when Grace was eight, were the only thing her mother had ever directly said to her about sex; they just didn’t talk about things like that, though Grace heard plenty from her older sister Diana and slightly older cousins so she was decently well informed by her first experience which was had been, to be honest, rather unimpressive.

“Why am I thinking about all of this?” she sighed to herself. It was like her mind couldn’t stop long enough to even seek pleasure. That was exactly why she needed this! She slid the vibrator and dildo back into place. The vibrator felt good but the dildo just felt like being poked. There was no atmosphere, no mood, and certainly no technique. 

She needed to be in the right mindset, not overly critical like this. She reached further back in time than Tim, but not back to those awkward first experiences. There had been some satisfying ones, back before Tim somehow stole her attention and her heart, before Oskar broke it –god, not the right time to think about him either. Before that, she’d dated around a bit, she’d had good sex that carried no emotional baggage for her now. Men who– well, young men, she’d been in her early twenties, which felt so long ago right now… 

Shut up, shut up, shut up. This was a bust. She sighed and let the dildo flop heavily to the bed between her legs. 

“No, you’re doing this,” she scolded, just as quickly. Even without the dildo, if need be! She slid the vibrator back into place and took slow, steady breaths, trying to empty her mind and focus on only what would be helpful now. She needed atmosphere. She needed touch, even if imagined. She closed her eyes and tried to picture a strong hand sliding down her thigh, skating between her legs, taking hold of the vibrator and the dildo. The nameless, faceless owner of the hand kissed her forehead, her cheek– no, too romantic, she wasn’t looking for that right now, she just wanted to cum. The mouth wasn’t important, just the hands sliding over her body, gripping, caressing, working her open with strong, tanned fingers.

OK, ok this was going better. She picked the dildo up again and slid it into place, envisioning the dark top of Nameless Guy’s head as he focused on positioning himself just where she wanted him to be. She pushed the dildo, just testing, as her other hand slid the vibrator a little here, a little there, trying not to come on too strong, but this was working, it was feeling good, and the clear head would feel worth it!

Suddenly music outside interrupted her daydream. She jolted just as the music lowered to a reasonable volume out of her own speakers. With a start she realized it must be JK here to work on the pool, and that she’d been so focused on her new toys she hadn’t even realized he was here.

She glanced at the rustling drapes and hesitated… she ought to stop but… why? He was working, it wasn’t like he knew what she was doing, she could go out and say hi after she finished and maybe took a cool shower… besides she’d been getting pretty close, why ruin a good thing?

So she closed her eyes and repositioned everything and took her deep breaths to get herself back to that place, to the imagined feel of those hands spreading and smoothing her thighs, squeezing her chest, gripping her ass while she pushed the dildo further in, slow, steady movements intended to mimic Faceless Nameless guy’s movements.

“For a while there it was rough but lately I’ve been doing better…”

JK’s voice had a sort of folksy rock twang to it that wasn’t usually there, but Grace had noted  as she’d listened to him sing his way through his CD collection that he seemed to take on traits of the genre,. His voice had this chameleon quality to it, bending and stretching and pulling on a new style to fit any sound. What a skill! And right now that skill drifted up on the breeze and into her bedroom as clearly as if he was serenading her from the balcony. What was this ridiculous acoustic design? The last thing she needed as her vibrator buzzed against her clit was JK’s voice crooning into her ear…

Oh. Oh no. The dark head of Nameless Guy looked up at her and JK’s dark brown eyes sparkled up at her above that crooked smirk.

Grace resisted. She tried to blur his face, scratch out the identifying characteristics, make him just a dark-haired, tanned stranger again… if he had been that way to begin with… 

It was wrong. Maybe that was a thing men did, but Grace couldn’t just use the image of her pool technician to get herself off!

And yet… things moved quickly as Nameless Guy refused to shed the face he’d claimed. Dark ink filled in on his shoulder and bled down through the other tattoos she’d observed only from a distance –the sharks inside his elbow, the compass on his bicep, the light lines on his wrist that looked like a sunrise. Her mind filled in the details it didn’t know, the dimples of shoulder muscles she’d never seen closely or touched–

She should not be letting JK sneak in like this. She couldn’t. She shouldn’t! But as the dildo parted her with its unnatural silicon weight in a way that wasn’t unpleasant, and the vibrator nudged her clit just the right moment, and JK’s voice hit the climax of the song, “I want you, I need you, oh God, don’t take these beautiful things that I’ve DONE”--

Well, Grace did too. Back arching, arms locked, body clenching around the shape of the dildo even once she’d pulled it out, the emptiness more intrusive than the feeling of fulness had been. 

For a few minutes Grace just lay there, tingly and relaxed. She listened to the whole next song that way, eyes closed, running her own fingers soothingly up and down her arm.

Then methodically she cleaned the toys and stashed them in a drawer, and took a shower –just a quick rinse to remove any lingering trace of what she’d just done, ie masturbated to the mental image of her pool guy who was out in her backyard this very moment.

Shit. That was the opposite of what orgasming was supposed to do, help her be free of stupid, impulsive decisions about men.  

God, that was so inappropriate! She hadn’t meant to. He’d snuck in during a weak moment. Obviously he was hot but she was not … like… into him or anything. Men did that, didn’t they? Just “borrowed” a person’s image because she was hot and they needed– ok but she didn’t want to be like a man!

But damn that orgasm had been better than she’d expected– due to the vibrator dildo combination, obviously! Not for any other reason!

She couldn’t ever face him.

“Hey!” she called, facing him anyway, because she had something to prove. She could be normal and kind and keep that oopsy mental image completely separate from the real guy because it was separate from the real guy! Probably she didn’t even have his tattoos right; it wasn’t like she’d ever made a careful study of them. 

He waved at her call but didn’t stop singing this new song, something she didn’t know but it was the same voice as before –the one JK outsang at every bar. The songs were slower, more mellow than the stuff JK usually listened to when he worked on her pool.

“Who is this?” she asked the most casual question she could think of. “It’s good music for your voice.”

“Benson Boone,” he answered, finally looking up, squinting at a patch of sunlight that hit him in the face. His sunglasses sat uselessly atop his head, holding his hair back. It was a little longer than Nameless Guy’s hair –she liked JK’s better, to be honest, he seemed to be growing it out lately. OK, maybe it was centimeters different. The more alarming thing was that her mind had perfectly recreated JK’s face. Was she really so familiar with it?! Well, hadn’t she always been good with faces?

No, no she was actually pretty bad at faces. She’d trained herself to get good at remembering names. 

“And thanks. I just got the album a couple of days ago. More folksy than I usually listen to but it’s good stuff,” he told her. “Thought you might like it.”

“I do but yeah, it doesn’t sound like your usual playlist.”

“Trying to expand my horizons,” he said, and skimmed a wad of leaves from the water to set on the side. “Ah, this is a good song. Happened pretty quickly, jumpin’ in with both feet I’ll go, though I can’t see nothing below, so ready to give up my soul. Movin’ past the boundaries, into waters so deep and so cold–”

The word “boundaries”, so beautifully articulated by JK’s lips, was like a smack to Grace’s backside.

“Yes, it’s great,” she interrupted. “Beautiful day, huh?”

“Perfect day to break in your pool,” he agreed.

“Beg pardon?”

He reached down to shovel the small pile of pool detritus he’d fished out into his bucket, then stepped back and gestured with a flourish, “I present to you, your pool.”

“You’re done? Already?” she frowned before she could think to stop herself.

JK laughed, “I’m not used to hearing that.”

“What?” Grace choked, mind leaping right back to what she’d been doing in her bedroom not twenty minutes ago. Had he meant that as a dirty joke?!

“You know, contractors take too long to finish the job?” he clarified. She could not tell from his face whether he knew the innuendo he’d made or if only her mind had taken a dip in the gutter this morning.

“Oh. Right. Well…”

“Are you happy with it?”

“Yes of course I am, it’s beautiful. I’m sure it’s going to be incredible to swim in,” she rushed out, forcing herself to look at it. The water sparkled in the morning sun, clear and cool, not a single tile left chipped or unpolished. 

“I should have taken before and after pictures,” he sighed. “Bob won’t believe it.”

“I have pictures from before. I’ll take them and send them along,” she promised. JK deserved praise from his boss. He’d done incredible work, and more quickly than she’d expected –not that she had any frame of reference beyond what JK told her to expect. And she supposed this was within that timeframe but still, it felt too suddenly done, didn’t it? 

“You don’t look that happy,” he admitted.

“No! I am. Obviously you did an amazing job. You just didn’t tell me you were getting close,” she said. Then quickly added, “To done. With the pool.”

He shrugged, “I got lucky, sometimes it takes longer to get the water just right but I tested this morning and it’s perfect. You could jump in right now if you wanted.”

She nodded, then shook her head and sighed, “I can’t this morning, but maybe tonight. I promise not to leave your hard work waiting for too long.”

“Good. That’s what makes it all worth doing,” he said, as if repairing her pool had been some higher calling and not a paycheck. He grabbed his tools, chucking anything that would fit into the bucket, then sliding his flip-flops back on. Like he was in a rush, she realized. He had somewhere to be. Other jobs to get to, now that he’d finished this long one. 

“Thank you again,” she said, walking alongside him to his truck. She joked, “I mean it. Mornings are going to be so quiet around here now without you letting yourself into my yard and blasting music to harass the neighbors.” 

“Well I’ll be back in a week to make sure everything looks good still and after that, every two weeks for cleaning, yeah?”

“Oh! Yes. I think I signed up for that? I’ll call Bob today and make sure.”

“Yeah my schedule is pretty booked but I’m sure I can squeeze you in.” He winked when he said it, then chucked stuff into the back of the truck with an alarmingly heavy thud. Before she could think of whether to tease or ignore about the wink –as if he needed to charm her into signing a pool cleaning contract– he continued, “Oh, and if you miss my singing before then, I’ll be covering one of those songs with my band at The Sand Bar this weekend. Saturday.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, we go on around nine, so not too late.”

“Oh! Let me get your CD before you drive off,” Grace realized. She ran to grab it while he stepped into his truck, then handed it through the open window.

“Think about it, huh? We’re pretty good and you like the music.”

What had that lyric been about boundaries? Grace felt like she ought to listen to it again –but probably not sung by JK with his band at a bar. Objectively she knew she had crossed a line this morning, that a line had already been crossed when JK first left her the CD with Tim’s video on it, and that no good would come from crossing further lines. 

But he seemed so earnest, so sincere in the suggestion, like he really thought it would be cool and normal for her to just show up at the bar he was playing at with his friends.

Wait, was that a normal thing to do though? If her housepainter mentioned he had a jazz band that played brunch on Sundays and she took Stephanie and Ashley, that would be totally fine.

But she hadn’t just orgasmed imagining her housepainter screwing her seven ways to Sunday while she drilled herself with a dildo.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said. 

“Ok good. The Sand Bar, Saturday.” He pointed his finger at her like a gun and clicked his tongue against his teeth while winking. She could tell by his response he had not understood her sidestep of the invitation, which was probably for the best. Probably he was being nice or trying to pull in an audience –he’d mentioned before that sometimes they got paid by heads when they played, though most of their gigs were unpaid. If he brought it up again, she would have some easy, polite excuse. That was one skill her mother had taught her well, how to politely manage an impossible social commitment.

Her pride in that was short lived as the gate closed behind the tail lights of his truck. The yard was suddenly so quiet with no music or conversation in it. She hadn’t known this was his last morning here or she wouldn’t have spent it all locked in her room… masturbating.

Ugh, the fact that’s what she’d done –instead of chatting or offering snacks for this final day of his work– was going to haunt her all day. Why hadn’t he mentioned he was almost done? 

Not that it mattered, of course. Not that it was any big thing. In fact it was nice to have the pool done now. She could go swimming right now! It looked beautiful, a sparkling gem tucked back in the yard. She would swim in it soon and really enjoy all that carefully laid tile and the clarity of the water and the absolute lack of frogs. And when JK came back to clean it in two weeks, she would retain a professional, respectful boundary. And in the meantime, she would try to make some actual new friends so she stopped relying on the pool guy for company. And she would, you know, definitely not use his image in her masturbatory fantasy because that was just beneath her. That had been an egregious slip, it was embarrassing, and she would not make the same mistake twice.

Mara had called Jungkook on a Thursday night, hot and bothered and looking for a hook up so of course he had gone. It was simple sex, a good release after such a long stretch of nothing, and afterwards Jungkook fell asleep on the edge of her twin bed feeling pretty good about things. This was good to do. He’d been saying for a long time he needed to start fucking around more. Sex cleared the head and balls. 

He didn’t need more than this. Sure, some people did the whole relationship thing, but he only thought that way when he went too long with getting laid, when he got sentimental from too many chick flicks or too much time around his enamored parents. He could get laid, even if it was just rotating through a few familiar women and an occasional surprise when the sun and moon aligned just right after he left the stage –was that such a bad life? It could be worse. He’d gone through dry-spells before that left him doubting everything about himself, but if it was just that no girl really thought he was commitment material… well yeah, ok, he didn’t think he was really that either. What did he have to commit? He still felt sixteen years old in his heart, sometimes. Often times. Someday he’d meet someone, he’d have the whole romance. It could still happen for him, even though he was twenty-six without any real long term relationships under his belt.

But he’d cummed out the self deprecating thoughts, left them knotted in a condom in Mara’s trashcan, and had a great night of sleep in her overly air-conditioned apartment. It left him reluctant to return to his own, because Jimin was worried about the environment lately after the governor or something said people should be more conscientious so they were letting their house sit a little warmer. Jungkook was fine with it, but it was making Jimin and Taehyung both cranky. Hoseok had even decided to sleep at his own place, alone, so that definitely hadn’t helped Jimin’s mood. 

When Mara woke up, she looked hot as hell and ready to fuck again, stretching all cat-like along his side and pawing at his stomach.

Her fingers had just brushed his eager dick when his phone rang –never in his life a good sign. He fumbled it off the nightstand and answered instantly when he saw [Yoda] on the ID.

“Haewon? Everything ok?” he asked, sitting up and pushing Mara’s hand aside.

“Is that your sister?” Mara asked, her exasperation louder than the air conditioner.

“Hey. Are you awake?”

“Yeah I’m awake. What’s up?” He nodded at Mara and shoved out of the bed, grabbing clothes as he went because it felt wrong to go into big brother mode while naked in bed, half hard. The irony of it being with Mara –who’d dumped him in the first place for being too family-first– was not lost on him, but what was he going to do, hang up on his favorite sister?

“My car died and Dad said I can borrow his car while mine is in the shop but he can’t get me until later but I really need the car before lunch.”

“Why, what’s happening at lunch?” Jungkook asked, temporarily suspicious. 

“There’s a seminar on–”

“Ok, fine, I’ll come get you and drive you over,” he interrupted. Seminar, of course. Yoojin would have a hot date but Haewon had a seminar, probably about the politics of poverty or immigrant rights or some other incredibly important but super boring thing Jungkook would never have been able to sit through. “Be there in… maybe an hour?”

“An hour? It’s not an hour from your place to campus.”

“Ah, well, I’m in Hacienda Heights… see you in an hour.” He hung up before she could ask questions yet, though she wouldn’t pester much. Yoojin was nosy; Haewon would rather not know, and that was one reason she was the favorite sister.

Mara crossed her arms and snarked, “I was going to ask if you wanted to get breakfast but I guess family calls, huh?”

“Little sister is having car trouble,” he confirmed, “so I gotta go get her.”

“Honestly, don’t you ever feel like you’re just living the same day of your life over and over?” she asked and showed him the door.

Jungkook did not know what she meant and for that reason kept thinking about it as he crawled his way through traffic. Huh? Living the same day over and over? That wasn’t true at all. For example, last night he’d got laid by Mara on a random Thursday evening after not talking to her for months, which made it feel like it was six months ago, not the same day as the one before, which he had spent surfing and cleaning pools and lifeguarding at the beach until the sun went down. 

Haewon was on a cement bench when he pulled up near her dorm, arms around bent knees as two boys with skateboards talked to her. Jungkook thought they were trying to make her laugh. They had their baseball caps on backwards and he instantly didn’t like them for it. He beeped the horn once and Haewon sprang up but without any apparent guilt or worries about Jungkook seeing her talk to the guys. She waved at them, grabbed her duffel and her backpack, and tossed both in the trunk when Jungkook popped it.

“Hey,” he greeted as she slid into the seat beside him. “Friends of yours?”

“No, not really.”

“Only fuckboys wear their baseball caps backwards when it’s this bright out, you know,” he warned.

Haewon laughed and playfully shoved his head, asking, “How’s Mara?”

“Asked me a weird fucking question this morning,” he admitted, pulling away from the curb. He could change the subject from Mara and Haewon wouldn’t do a thing to press further, but she was smart and he realized he could borrow some of that right now.

“What’d she say?”

“Asked if I feel like I’m living the same day over and over.” He kept his window rolled down but the air on, because Haewon liked riding in the car like that; sometimes when they’d needed a break from the small family apartment when they were younger, he’d take her out in whatever beat up car he had at the time and they’d cruise through a tank of gas with the a/c on and the windows down and ideally the California coast out the window. They’d get Icees and drink them sitting on the hood. 

“Well… do you?”

“...no? What does that even mean?”

“Like you’re just doing the same things over and over and not going anywhere in life, I think,” she suggested, and wiggled in her seat to pull a squashed packet of gum out of her pocket. “Want some gum?”

“Well I don’t feel that way.”

“Yeah, ok, good. Gum?”

He accepted and they drove through an intersection in silence, Haewon clearly letting him mull this over. She was smart, so that was probably exactly what Mara meant. Obviously Haewon and Mara had never met, and he tried not to give her too much of a glimpse into his dating life since she was his little sister and all, but she knew some things. Yoojin knew more, because sometimes he’d forget what she was like and vent to her because they were closer in age, and then she’d say dumb shit that made him regret confiding anything in her and he’d hold off for months. Haewon did more with less. She’d give advice about the female mind if you really asked, but preferred to just tease a little and then stay out of it. And frankly, Jungkook wasn’t hooking up with any women that had a thing in common with Haewon, so it wouldn’t have been a great help anyway.

“Why is everyone obsessed with going somewhere?” he finally asked. “I’m just… surfing. Swim out, ride in, swim out, ride in, take a water break, do it again, and have fun doing it.”

“Yeah so what’s the problem? Don’t worry about her. Bitches will say anything.”

“Hae!”

Haewon laughed and assured him, “She’s probably just mad that you’re happy and she’s not.”

“How do you know she’s not happy? She seemed happy to me.” Except for the fact she’d made it clear months ago she didn’t want to keep seeing Jungkook and then called him up for a fuck again on a random Thursday night. So maybe she wasn’t actually that happy. She’d graduated over a year ago and was working in film, camera work, but he didn’t actually know if she had a job or not. She hadn’t wanted to talk, just fuck. “But yeah, you’re right, maybe she was talking about herself.”

“Yeah don’t worry about it. A lot of times when women say something, it’s really about them, not you.”

That sounded right and true and he was immediately relieved. 

“See? It’s totally worth it we’re paying the big bucks to send you to UCLA,” he teased, and rustled her hair while they were stopped at a red light. She scowled and pushed his hands away. “And not to date little shits who wear their hats backwards.”

“Oh my god, I said they’re not friends of mine,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“Yeah but I bet they want to be.”

“Maybe,” she admitted with a snicker. “But don’t worry about them. They can’t even show up to class on time, it’s completely…” She pondered the right word. “Disappointing.”

“Yeah well you just wait until a guy isn’t disappointing, that’s all. Keep your high standards.”

“You sound like Yoojin except she’s being sarcastic.”

“Don’t ever take guy advice from Yoojin,” Jungkook immediately scolded. 

“Yeah but Max is so cute.”

“Just because she made a great little dude doesn’t mean she knows anything about the kind of life that you’re going to have. No pressure or anything,” he quickly added, because unlike the rest of their family he knew it wouldn’t do Haewon any good to feel like they’d piled their hopes and dreams on her. They hadn’t. They just all saw she was earmarked for something better than surfing the tide and they wanted that for her. She was going somewhere, and he wanted to be the wave that helped carry her, not the wave that overwhelmed and drowned her. 

“Yeah no pressure. I’ve only got two years to raise the money for Yale…”

“We’ll get you there,” he said. “Fucker, use your fucking light,” he mumbled as a guy cut him off –no, not a guy, an older white lady with puffed up blonde hair and nails so long he could see them on the wheel when he swerved around her because she was going ten below the speed limit.

“You didn’t say anything to Mom and Dad about Yale, did you?” she asked.

“Fuck no, why? The only person I’ve talked to about it is Soyoon and you know she won’t say anything to anyone.” Soyoon and Yoongi had both gone to college, UC Berkeley where they’d met. Yoongi had dropped out in his third year to take care of his parents through a health scare and never gone back, but Soyoon had graduated with a degree in journalism and was his only source of personal knowledge about how to fund college educations because she worked in the financial aid office at UCLA, even though she hadn’t gone there. Her help had been huge in navigating scholarships and loans for Haewon for undergrad and while she didn’t know much about East Coast schools or graduate programs, she did her best fielding whatever questions Jungkook threw at her as he tried to figure out how to get Haewon to her dream school.

“Ok, good. Mom said something about New England the other day and how pretty it must be in the fall… I was like, what? Why are we talking about New England suddenly?”

“I didn’t say shit, hand on my Death Note books. Probably she’s just complaining about the heat and daydreaming about moving there,” he suggested, because she definitely did that. What he didn’t do was suggest Haewon tell their parents about her dreams of Yale Law School. He respected her desire not to stress them out about something she herself wasn’t confident she could achieve or afford. He was honored she trusted him with her dream, that she relied on his guidance to help her figure it out, and he wasn’t going to let her down no matter what. 

So it was only his head that spun the numbers every so often: Yale Law School cost about $100k per year to cover tuition, housing, books, and food. But there were lots of scholarships available, even if his parents made too much money for them to qualify for some –which was laughable because what money? Haewon was potentially interested in going into public sector work afterwards which would help with loan forgiveness. They would figure it out, no problem. He, his parents, and Haewon were all saving too, for whatever scholarships couldn’t cover, and if they had to go the loan route again, they would. Haewon would get to go to Yale. Eventually she would have to tell them she was looking that far away, not somewhere West Coast, but that would be her news to share.

“It’s so nice. I can’t wait to be there and out of this heat,” she admitted. She rolled her window up and cranked the a/c, so he rolled his window up too. “Maybe you’d like it too.”

“Oh yeah? Could we get an apartment off campus together?” he joked. “What’s the surfing like in Connecticut? Big population of folks with pools that need cleaning?”

“I think you’d do more snowboarding than surfing but there’s lots of rich people, I bet they have pools they’re too lazy to learn how to take care of,” she pointed out. “And you don’t pronounce the ‘c’ in the middle, by the way.”

He ignored her and mused, “I don’t know if I’d like snowboarding… I like the sun and the sand.”

“That’s weird. Who likes sand?”

“It’s exfoliating,” he said, because he knew it would get a laugh from her. It did.  

“You should find a way to sell that to rich people,” she suggested. “Like way overcharge them for a spa treatment but it’s just… I don’t, retrieving your surfboard.”

“First of all, I am not a conman, I’d have a lot more money.”

“Only if you’re a good one and I kind of think you’d suck at it. You’re not good at lying,” se teased.

“Second of all, you are definitely not a business major. That’s your great business idea? You have to sell it better than that.”

“Ok Mr. Business, make it sound better?”

“Look, I can sing you a song, I can clean your pool–”

“Have you been writing songs?” she interrupted. “I like that last one you let me hear.” Jungkook cringed. He regretted letting her hear, but he’d been really proud of it and had wanted to show off to her that he could do something cool too, something cooler than just playing the songs someone else wrote. But damn, writing songs was hard.

“That was two years ago,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, so? Chop chop, right?”

“I’m working on some things,” he lied, shrugged. “Maybe if it gets far enough along.”

“Can I come hear your band play? When’s your next show?”

“Don’t you have studying to do?” he countered.

She snickered, “Oh, too many sharks with backwards caps, huh? Is that your crowd?”

“Too many women flirting with me,” he corrected. “You don’t need to see that.”

“Yeah, yuck, I don’t need to see that,” she agreed. “Don’t you play all ages places ever though? I’m going to text Soyoon or Yoongi, they’ll let me come see you. Maybe you’re not even telling me the truth about how the ladies love you. You know you don’t have to impress me, right?”

She was teasing, he knew that, but still he insisted, “Yah, you doubt it? I’m charming as fuck!”

“Ok ok geez. I just think if that was true you wouldn’t be spending your nights with Mara.”

“What’s wrong with Mara? You’ve never even met her.”

“Exactly.”

“I’m not going to introduce you to the women I…” he trailed off. Ok, this was veering into not-appropriate-for-baby-sister territory. “Am acquainted with,” he suggested.

“Yeah thank god, I don’t want to meet them.”

“And I’m not failing at relationships or anything. I’m not trying to have one. I’m happy just…”

“Fucking around?” she asked.

“Haewon! Language!”

“Oh my god, does my own brother wear his cap backwards?” she teased. “Mo did.”

“Mo did,” Jungkook admitted and felt a pang. Yeah and Mo was a fuckboy the likes Jungkook could never aspire to. He was happily a fuckboy, successful, he loved the ladies and the ladies loved him to the bitter end. Jungkook could only dream of aspiring to Mo’s level of charm. Mo could talk circles around a woman until she was all knotted up and begging for him to unwind her. What few dates Jungkook managed to score on Tinder tended to go further downhill the more he talked. Context mattered for him; he needed the environment to make him look good, for his drumming or surfing to do the seduction for him.

“Well as long as you’re happy, I think it’s cool, but I’ve never heard anything about Mara that I liked so I don’t think she’s worth your time. At least don’t waste time with annoying ones.”

“Yeah, I know, I won’t.”

“Besides, you wear bucket hats. What would you warn me about guys wearing bucket hats?”

“Don’t date a guy who wears bucket hats either. Don’t you want to date a guy who wears like… a beret or something?”

“Uh… like a French guy?!”

“Rich, educated, maybe European…”

“Is that what you dream of for me?” she cackled in the passenger’s seat. “Oh my god that sounds terrible. I thought you liked me!”

“Yeah I just want you to wind up with someone really good! When you’re ready though. Right now, focus on your studies.”

“Ok dad, thanks. Anyway, what if I’m a lesbian?”

Jungkook considered this in earnest. As far as he knew, Haewon had never been close with a single guy, but she’d had some female friends. None that struck him as romantic, but it wasn’t like their family shared everything. She was keeping Yale a secret, maybe she had others too, even from him.

“Nah,” he finally decided. “I think you would have told me. I think you’re just school-sexual.”

“You say that like it’s lame.”

“There’s nothing lame about having more exciting things in your life!” he corrected.

“I don’t know what I am,” she admitted. “Everyone I’ve met is a clown. The guys would all waste my time. I know some cool girls but…”

Jungkook got very still. Wait, was Haewon coming out to him? He felt a mixture of panic and honor swirling in his chest. He hadn’t prepared for this. Honestly, despite half his friends being queer, he’d never much questioned that both his sisters were straight, because in the abstract Haewon had talked about a future boyfriend or husband, never anything else.

“That’s ok then,” he said, carefully.

“I don’t know how someone can date a girl though,” Haewon said. “Like they just make me feel crappy about myself.”

“You just haven’t met the right person,” he said, vowing from now on he would use gender neutral terms to make sure she knew he was cool with whatever she wanted in the future. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Well… do girls make you feel good about yourself?” she asked. 

He thought about the safest answer to give his baby sister. The truth was that often women made him feel like a total piece of shit. But when it went well, when he fucked good or flirted good or played good, they made him feel like a fucking rock star, and he couldn’t stay away, he was constantly chasing that high, it carried him through the times he felt like a loser. Again and again he struck out but he kept swimming towards that ultimate dream, the one woman who could make him feel like a rockstar every day just with the touch of her finger…

“Yeah,” he said, keeping it simple. “But nothing feels as good as riding a really good wave though so I don’t think I’m in danger of settling down any time soon.”

“Maybe someday I’ll make enough money I can buy you a really nice beach condo and then you can just surf all the time and never worry about bitches,” she suggested, and he could see the twitch of her smile out of the corner of his eye, that she was trying to get a reaction from him.

“Are you just pissed you had to wait longer for me to pick you up this morning when you called me out of nowhere asking for a ride? Is that why you’re swearing like a sailor?”

“Yeah,” she giggled.

“Well stop it, you’re sounding too much like Yoojin.”

“Ok that’s one way to scare me.”

“Exactly, don’t do it.”

“Especially if I’m going to be the pride and joy of the family,” Haewon joked.

“Ok wait hold on now. I am clearly the pride and joy of the family,” he corrected. “I’m living exactly the life I want, the way I want it. That, my friend, is success. And I look fucking good doing it.”

“I don’t know, you haven’t written a song in two years…”

“I have! Just not any I want you to listen to.”

“Are they all about sex and drugs and things I’m not supposed to know about?” she asked, face curling up in disgust, intentionally pretending to be twelve again. 

“Why couldn’t dad pick you up again?” he asked to change the subject. He didn’t want to write songs like that but finding something more profound to write about had left him spinning in circles for literal years. Maybe there wasn’t more to life than just doing what you wanted and having fun with your friends and being the best son you could and avoiding drugs so you didn’t break your family’s heart, but he didn’t think that song would play on the radio and he didn’t know how to put it into words anyway. Sometimes he wasn’t even sure he believed that, but he wasn’t like Haewon, he didn’t have some big career goal for his life. He wasn’t even like Yoojin, with a commitment that should be giving her direction and purpose in pursuit of the best life possible for Max. 

“He took Max to his check up this morning,” Haewon answered, unphased. “Yoojin was working.”

“Do we really think she’s working?”

“You are asking the wrong sibling. I have hundreds of years of law and politics to learn, I don’t have brainspace for what’s going on with Yoojin and she doesn’t have brainspace for me either.” He wasn’t sure if she sounded hurt by it. He’d never pretended to understand their relationship other than that they had not seemed close in years.

“Yeah, maybe mom and dad shouldn’t have saved all the brains for you,” Jungkook lamented.

“You got a few of them.”

“Yeah, a few brains,” he agreed, then ruined it by adding, “But mostly I’m raw physical prowess.”

“You can drop me off here and I’ll walk.”

“I mean athletics. Drumming, surfing.”

“Sure you did. Don’t sound too much like Yoojin.”

“Sheesh. Fine. You didn’t have to punch so low.”

“That’s what you said a minute ago!”

“Yeah I’ve got to keep you in line somehow. Me? I don’t need lines.”

“Everyone needs lines,” Haewon argued.

“Spoken like a future lawyer.”

He’d meant it as a teasing insult but Haewon seemed pleased. At least she was going to be one of the good, non-asshole lawyers. She didn’t have it in her to be an asshole. Yoojin he’d be afraid to see show up in court because she was unhinged, who knew what shit she’d say or do, she’d get disbarred and her client convicted within ten minutes. But Haewon was going to change people’s lives, whatever type of law she went into, he was sure of it, and then their parents could be proud of at least one of their kids. And Max. Max was going to grow up great. And Yoojin… well, she could still turn out good if she just got her head on straight. Once she’d been funny and smart and charming too, before she got too wrapped up in men and dabbled in drugs and now sometimes it was like she just didn’t care anymore.

“Maybe we’re being too hard on Yoojin,” he mused as they neared his parents’ apartment. “She’s not all bad.”

“Did you know she has you as ‘Kevin’ in her phone?”

“Kevin? Who the hell is Kevin?”

“You know, like the Minion.”

“What? Why would she do that? And why would you know that?”

“She sent me a screenshot of your texts and didn’t realize I’d see. She’s sloppy with evidence.”

“But why?” he demanded. That Yoojin secretly named him after a Minion in her phone was so much more insulting than if she’d told him to his face.

“Do I look like the Yoojin-whisperer?” 

“Ok, message received. Time to bully. Is Kevin even the cute one?”

Haewon gave him a baffled look and demanded, “Which Minion is the cute one?!”

“You know what, nevermind, I’m suddenly feel pretty unsafe.” 

She had pulled out her phone and was grinning, he didn’t know if it was at him or at something on her phone.

“Hey, what am I in your phone?” he suddenly asked.

“Oppa.”

“Oh. Really? Didn’t I used to be JK? What made you change it?”

“One of my friends thought you were hot and tried to get your number from my phone so I had to put it into code,” she answered without even looking up. “Since none of them are Korean, now they think I text my grandpa a lot.”

Jungkook had no way of knowing whether that was the truth or not, since Haewon was the only Jeon kid who had any real skill in lying and simply chose not to do it (often) for moral reasons, so he took her at her word and asked, “Which friend?”

Her baleful look made him laugh.

“I’m not going to do anything. I just want to know. Who thinks I’m hot?”

“Girls are stupid.”

“That’s ok, for girls to be stupid,” he argued. “I don’t mind stupid girls. It’s hot.”

“Oh my god.”

“I’m joking! I’m joking. She’d be your age, right? Bleh, I’m not interested in a nineteen year old.”

“I thought guys love younger women.”

“Haewon, listen to me very closely. If a guy my age hits on you, it’s because women his age are too smart and he’s hoping to take advantage of–”

“Yeah yeah I know,” she sighed. “Date your own age. Again, unless he’s 300 pages long about civil liberties and is literally a book, I’m not interested.”

“Good girl,” he beamed. “Ok here we are. Looks like no one’s home.”

“I know, Dad will be home soon and I’ll take his car. I’ve got my keys, you don’t have to wait. But thanks for the ride.”

“Call me anytime,” he said and waved her off, watching until she was safely inside the apartment before he pulled away.

Where did Jungkook go on a day like today where he had no responsibilities, no work, no pressing demands on his time? It was a total coincidence he’d gone through his full week of pools and had no lifeguarding shifts today. The options were endless really. He could head to the beach. He could dick around with drums or guitar at home, maybe try to siphon lyrics from his brain again. He could do something productive like clean or grocery shop. He should definitely hit the gym today but he could do that later, after lunch. Right now, there was laundry or literally anything else…

He tossed his keys and wallet down as soon as he was in the house, announcing his presence, feeling in a good mood about it because they’d know he got laid and hadn’t come home without him even having to say anything about it. Only Taehyung was home, eyes glazed over as he stared at PUBG on the TV.

Jungkook zoned out standing behind the couch, just watching, until Taehyung hit a lull and could split his attention.

“Hey, you want to join?”

“Fuck yeah. Let me pack up my laundry for later and get a breakfast bar– you want anything from the kitchen?”

“No, you wanna do my laundry for me?”

“I’m not touching your stuff, half of it’s dry clean only,” Jungkook pointed out. Taehyung was an avid thrifter, found some incredible stuff that way, and one time a shirt of his wound up with Jungkook’s laundry, utterly ruined. The fight hadn’t lasted long, but if Jungkook was the type to hold a grudge, he’d still be upset Taehyung had gotten so mad over something that wasn’t even Jungkook’s fault. It wasn’t like he’d taken the shirt that Taehyung had paid too much for and stuck it in his own laundry. 

But he didn’t hold grudges. Grudges made you old. Jungkook was chill –so chill he could hook up with a girl who’d dumped him and it didn’t make him feel bad about himself because why? It was just sex, the very definition of a meaningless good time. Like outside of trying to make a kid, it was the quickest way to feel good and chill out that didn’t require drugs. Empty balls, empty brain, full life as long as you could get some. And he could get some. Mara had called him up even though she’d said she wouldn’t again, so clearly he was the type of guy a girl kept thinking about.

Laundry packed up by the door so he wouldn’t forget to take it with him –laundromat and gym, big plans for the day– he grabbed a protein bar that tasted like a fool’s dream of cardboard but he’d grown to kind of like them.  

“All right all right let’s do this!” he cheered, jumping over the back of the couch to land beside Taehyung. On a whim, feeling good, he decided to text Mara during the matchmaking, to see if she wanted to meet up again later this week.

She’d blocked him.

With a sigh and shake of his head, he decided Haewon was right, Mara wasn’t worth his time anyway. He had other options. It wasn’t like she was that good. Plenty more fish in the sea and Jungkook was a good fisherman, when the weather was fair and the waters were calm. 

“You’re younger than I expected,” were the man’s first words as she shook his hand and welcomed him into the office. His name was James Alard, and he’d scheduled a meeting with Grace because he was interested in purchasing a new home in the Beverly Hills area. She had sold three homes in Beverly Hills already, but never been on the buyer’s side of a purchase there –whichhe ought to have asked but either didn’t think to or didn’t care. Grace deliberated whether to offer that information for transparency –it meant she wouldn’t classify herself as an expert in the neighborhoods there, but certainly she felt capable of it, it was nearby.

“So,” he said, leaning back in his chair, stretching his arms behind his head. “You do this full time or as a side thing?”

“I’m selective with the number of clients I take on to ensure each has the time and attention they deserve, and this is my career,” she answered, trying not to prickle at the question. There was just a way he asked it that annoyed her, it felt patronizing. It made her think of Tim, even though the guy didn’t look anything like Tim really, blond hair and green eyes and only a light natural tan to his skin.  

“I bet you’re good at it,” he mused.

“I like to think so, yes. I’ve helped many people find their home, or sell their old one ahead of a move or upgrade, on terms they’re happy with. You’ll see plenty of satisfied testimonials on my web page –and I have no hidden bad ones.” This was practically a script, but still he laughed as if it were just a personal joke she’d made with him.

“You seem like the kind of woman who knows how to close a deal on her terms.”

Grace tilted her head before catching herself, not wanting to read into anything he said. Was he flirting or just testing her to see if he should hire her?

“When we’ve found the perfect house, I don’t settle for anything less than the best deal,” she agreed.

He laughed, a not unkind sound, and sighed, “All right all right, I get it. You can lower your shoulders. Not interested.”

“Not interested in helping you find a house?”

“It’s just not every day you meet a good-looking, hard-working woman,” he explained. “It’s usually one or the other, and I just can’t stand those leech women who cozy up to the nearest wealthy man in the hopes they never have to lift a finger again.”

Grace’s eyes flickered with annoyance, but she answered calmly, “I work because I want to, not because I need to. I don’t know that characterizing any woman as a leech for marrying well–”

“You choose to work, see? So you get it. It’s not just women, I’d judge a man who sat around on his ass doing nothing too! I’m not saying we all need to head to the mines but what’s the point of being alive if you don’t live it with some hard work and sweat, right? Even if I had as much money as God, it wouldn’t make me lazy,” he said.

Grace was not sure what to make of him. In theory she somewhat agreed with this, finding purpose was good, but she didn’t think it had to be a financial return, if that’s what he was saying. Chasing any passion in life could satisfy. She was glad to have her suspicion he was flirting concerned and even for him to recognize she was not responding, but she wasn’t sure why he was still off on this tangent.

“Answer me this, what do you do for fun?” he asked her.

She cleared her throat and tapped her pen lightly on the table before redirecting, “Let’s sidestep back to what exactly it is that you’re looking for.”

“I thought I knew,” he said. “But I admit you’ve got me all twisted around when you walked in here. I’m looking for a house in Beverly Hills, as I said in my message. Something big enough for my two kids and I to be comfortable, but not so big it feels empty. I don’t want them growing up wasteful. Our old house –it’s too empty, too many bad memories.”

Well, so much for moving on from her lack of interest. You’ve got me all twisted around, yeah ok. 

“How old are your children?” Grace asked, thinking it a harmless question because it might influence what types of rooms or the layout of the house or whether he wanted a pool.

“Eight and twelve. Been widowed three years now and I thought it was better to stay where we were but it’s holding us in the past.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” she said. Widowed was a different sort of tragedy than divorce, and his children had been so young. 

“Thanks. It was hell, but I want my kids looking to the future now, I want to look to the future, and then you walk in here…”

She let out a sharp sigh and corrected, “Yes, a real estate agent, so let’s talk more specifics about what you’re looking for.”

“I didn’t know I was,” he said, and stared at her with a look that genuinely looked more longing than predatory, which was not what she’d expected. Grace could not for the life of her decide what to think about this. It wasn’t welcome right now, this was her place of business and she was trying to work. It was annoying and inappropriate, it didn’t matter how handsome he was. Maybe if he eased off and had met her in a different situation but he hadn’t so there, that was it. 

“For a house?” she asked, intentionally not taking that bait. “since you are specifically looking Beverly Hills, one of my colleagues who’s more familiar with the neighborhood would better be able to help you,” she said, rising from her chair now that she’d decided. No point taking on a client who made her even a little uncomfortable.

He stood as well and leaned forward, hand out, earnest as he suggested, “All right, if that’s better, no conflict of interest. Does that mean I can take you out to dinner?”

“I… I don’t think…” She was stunned to be so blatantly asked and glanced at her empty ring finger. In the past she could always make a dismissive joke I don’t think my husband would like that very much, because that tended to get a more immediate acceptance than trying to champion her own personal lack of interest. No ring this time though and she couldn’t stomach pretending to still have a husband.

“I know a great place. Do you like seafood?”

“I’m afraid I’m going through a divorce at the moment,” she said, instantly regretting it because this man didn’t need any of her life story. 

“So you could use a fresh start too. I promise I’m nothing like him,” he said. “I can’t say I’m entanglement free since I’ve got my kids but they’re great, don’t let that deter you, wonderful kids.”

“I… let me introduce you to my college,” she stammered out, and made for the door. “This is my place of work and it’s inappropriate and borderline harassment. I have not reciprocated your interest.”

The man quietly followed, not overly close which she appreciated. He behaved through the introduction and shook hands with her male colleague who seemed surprised by the generous hand-off of a potential client.

Before she left them to it, James Alard shook her hand and held it a bit too long as he apologized, “I’m sorry if I spooked you. I’m out of practice so I didn’t play my hand well, but I know a good thing when I see it. You have my email and my phone number. Please give it some thought and let me know if you’d be willing to give me another chance in a more appropriate setting.”

“Have a good day,” she said and couldn’t flee quickly enough. 

Without a client to meet, Grace dug through her inbox to find a replacement to reach out to, then browsed some listings and sent some suggestions to her current clients about open houses or things about to hit the market that might be worth their time. She found it challenging to concentrate with James Alard still down the hall; even once she saw him leave the building, she found her thoughts lingering.

Had he been inappropriate or opportunistic? Was it flattering for a widower to be completely agog at first sight of you, or patronizing that he was looking for a “hard working woman”? Love at first sight was all over the rom-coms but she did not feel like that was what had just happened –though objectively she had been so confused and unenthusiastic about the come-on while she was working that it wasn’t like she’d really given James a good look. If they had met somewhere else, would she have been so quick to dismiss him?  

Well, he was good looking, there was that. She didn’t disagree that having purpose was important –drive and ambition, within reason. Him having children of his own was neutral as far as she was concerned, unless he was a good father, in which case it was a plus. But she wasn’t exactly looking for a husband or commitment right now, which actually might mean it was a negative, especially if he was on the hunt for a new wife and a mother to his children.

Unwelcome advance, she decided. But he’d accepted the hand off without pushing his luck further. What if he was just a genuinely nice guy suddenly knocked sideways by a beautiful woman and it led him to be a bit out of pocket, but not egregiously so? Had that been egregious? Well, Grace had dealt with much worse come-ons. 

No, Grace decided by the time she headed home later in the afternoon. She hadn’t even cut ties with her old commitment yet, she was certainly not looking to engage with a new one. Getting laid would be nice but she didn’t want more than that any time soon and a widower with children was probably not a good no-string fling.

Would he be down for just that? She considered this in her car. He was clearly interested in her, eager. He’d been skilled enough and charming enough to get a woman to marry him, and it wasn’t like his marriage ended because he was a selfish prick or anything. Could he be an easy path to casual sex? What if that’s all he actually wanted too?

Maybe she just didn’t know enough to make a decision about this. She needed to see him in another situation. Maybe it was worth a reintroduction, just to see if the miss had been because it made her so angry to be hit on while working. She needed to understand if he was already rushing to the altar because he thought she was pretty or if he was just suddenly awake to his own desires at the sight of her which was ok, right? It was endearing if a guy was just flustered into stupidity, so long as it wasn’t a permanent state. 

Her phone rang, startling her out of her deliberation. She’d missed her mother’s last call so put it on speaker as she pulled out of the parking lot.

“Hi Mom.” 

“Grace, honey, hello. Are you busy?”

“I’m just driving home. Everything ok?”

“Oh yes, I just wanted to call and check on you and also, I just had coffee with Shirleen Eckle, do you remember her? Well it turns out she has a son a few years older than you who just moved to LA!”

“Uh huh. I don’t remember her. Interesting, mom. Is he looking to buy a house?”

“Oh no, he’s already bought a condo in Santa Monica, he sold his startup and left all that behind in San Francisco to start something new here. You’ll have to ask him what it was exactly, I don’t know, but I thought it would be a great idea if you met with him, maybe you can introduce him around to what society there is in Los Angeles.”

Grace’s mom had never made secret that she found the transient and fresh wealth of Los Angeles tasteless at best. She pitied all who moved there, though always had a fantastic time at the gyms and spas and shopping districts when she visited. Society was lacking, but “some of the foundations there are good, I know some good people who’ve been convinced to move there and made the best of it.” 

“Mom.”

“Yes?”

“Are you trying to set me up on a date?”

“Oh! No! No no of course I wouldn’t do that, you aren’t even officially divorced yet and I can’t begin to understand your taste in men,” her mother’s voice bubbled out of the speakers, every word making the lie more obvious. There most definitely was something pointed in her wanting Grace to meet Shirleen Eckle’s son. 

“Mom, I appreciate it, but I’m really not trying to start anything new right now.” She did not think the son of an acquaintance of her mom’s was going to be the right outlet for sexual abandon. Besides… a startup guy? Grace was sure there must be some good ones. Somewhere. She hadn’t met any though and hey, if she was going to make her own choices and set her own boundaries and be honest with herself, cutting out tech startup bros as a whole class of people she did not want to land in bed with seemed fair. No CEOs either, she’d met too many and didn’t think there could be a single good female orgasm to be found in their collective histories. If one convinced her otherwise, ok fine, but considering what an easy time her mom had following the rumor mill from half a country away, Grace knew for a fact she could not have meaningless sex with this Eckle guy.

“Of course honey, I understand completely, except you must be lonely. Aren’t you? You were with Tim for so many years and now you’re in that big old house all by yourself…”

“It’s not that old,” Grace insisted, longing to be there already. “It doesn’t look its age. It has character. You’ll love it when you visit. And no, I’m not lonely. I have Foam.”

“... The cat.”

“For now, yes, that’s enough. I get to do what I want, when I want, and I just have to make sure I’m home to feed him and give him attention until he wants to go chase ghosts by himself again. That’s all the attachment I want.”

“I just worry about you.”

“I know you do, and I appreciate it. But things are getting better every day. I’m through the hardest part now, I just have to get this divorce wrapped up and then I’ve still got my whole life ahead of me.”

“Well…”

“Mom…”

“No, I know you’re correct, honey, it’s just that thirty-five is both young and not young. You don’t want to miss something good coming your way just because you closed your eyes.”

“My eyes are open, I promise.”

“But you’re not looking.”

“Is being alone really the worst thing in the world? I think it could be kind of nice for a while. I got married too young.”

Her mom’s voice was loving and heavy and serious as she admitted, “I was married by twenty-one, you weren’t exactly a child bride! I just can’t imagine it. I can’t imagine that for you. I want someone taking care of you, that’s all.”

“Maybe someday, but for now, don’t worry about me. I promise. Now I’m hitting traffic and need to concentrate but trust me, I am going home to my beautiful house to make a shrimp scampi and drink some fantastic wine and it’s going to be a perfect night. Far, far better than any evening I had while married.”

“Well that’s because you married the wrong man, honey. The right man will change everything.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Love you, mom, bye!”

She hung up before her mother could say anything to annoy her further. It was sweet her mom was worried, she knew that. But obviously she wasn’t going to tell her mom the only thing she’d been thinking about lately was sex –not a thing to discuss with her mom, though probably she’d be proud to know Grace had taken pains to buy the toys to prevent future bad decisions! Even though they hadn’t prevented Tim. But they would prevent James and Matthew, she was sure of that! 

Traffic sucked but, like a divorce, once through it, things were better. They would be better. Her home looked inviting and cozy, more put together by the week. Foam  was waiting for her by the door, probably drawn by the vibrations of the garage door. The bottle of wine was chilled to perfection and the smell of food cooking as she let Spotify play whatever it wanted made her life feel very full. 

Did she want someone to slide his hands up under her shirt, swaying as they drank wine and cooked together, maybe bend her over the counter… Yes, sure she did. But then she’d be happy for them to go home and leave her to her space and privacy and things being just the way she liked them. She didn’t feel lonely right now in any way except sexually. 

Was that weird, that sex was so top of her mind lately rather than romance or companionship or emotional intimacy?  Was that a sign of divorce shredding her heart? But honestly, she didn’t feel shredded right now. In a way, she felt more whole and in control of her thoughts than ever before. A handsome guy blatantly came onto her and she was being very practical about what she wanted, whether she was interested. Picky, one might say, so she must not be too desperate yet. 

And outside of sex, what good was a man to her? Tim had never been a bit of good, really. Her life had become so much easier without him that it was impossible to remember what good he had ever contributed, and thus she missed nothing without him. She had plenty of girl friends to socialize with, who needed a boyfriend? It would just be nice to have a hand other than her own wringing pleasure from her body. Orgasms on her own were fine but they didn’t feel quite like what she remembered from her younger days, which she hoped was a lack of technique rather than some sad evolution of her sex drive over the years. 

It was normal to be horny when you’d been phoning it in on sex for years to convince yourself and your lying cheating bastard husband that everything was fine. It was ok not to want some close companionship when she’d been so completely betrayed and just wanted to support herself right now. It was perfectly healthy to be a woman in her mid-30s with no active sexual life to long for a good one. Regardless of what her mom said, thirty-five was not that old, and she would remind herself of that as many times as she needed to, because it was hard to remember sometimes. Tim had been ten years older than her and so often she forgot her own age. If you’d asked her, she would have said 40 without thinking about it but she wasn’t even 40 yet and it was time to reclaim that freedom to discover herself she had missed out on in her twenties.

Maybe it was even time to make some semi-reckless choices, chase what she was interested in just for the selfish thrill of it, not settle for anything less than her own happiness. 

Which right now meant she wasn’t going to call James, or Matthew, even though she had both their numbers now, nor meet with Shirleen Eckle’s son. 

But she was going to call Alicia and ask if she could show Grace the ropes for how to meet a safe, generous, clean, attractive guy who might be interested in showing a girl a good time, no strings attached. She didn’t want a widower to wonder if she was love at first sight for him, she just wanted to get fucked without worries or overthinking or expectations or risk of getting hurt or catching an STD or…

How do people do this beyond their idiotic twenties, she wondered, instantly backpedaling from reckless. You had to be willing to have some bad nights and mistakes and maybe a little chlamydia, was that right? She didn’t want a little chlamydia… Was she asking for too much?

Ok. Time to ask Alicia for help.

It was impossible to see beyond the first two rows of the bar; The Sand Bar had the stage lights way brighter than they needed to be. It was brutally hot because of them, even though the night had cooled off once the sun went down, and the ground was stickier, and the air smelled of salt and Malibu and weed. Jungkook laughed and shook his sweaty hair out of his face, smeared the beads of it from his chin and neck where they tickled in between songs. He’d been growing his hair out –for the look and to save on haircuts– but it wasn’t long enough yet to pull back, just long enough to drive him nuts. 

There was no way to know for sure if Grace had come, but he suspected she hadn’t. The small chance she had, that he couldn’t prove it because he couldn’t see beyond the stage lights, at least let him cling to the fantasy. Just for fun. He poured his heart, soul, and sweat into the drumming that night, did his best chatter in between songs even though he was often the silent mumbly type and let Taro and Yoongi handle the banter. He felt compelled to be his best, not only in case Grace was there watching, but also because Yoongi had put his foot down on Jungkook’s behalf and insisted they keep the Benson Boone song in the set when Taro tried to cut it right before, claiming it would make them run over. It wasn’t even the last song in the set but god fucking forbid they cut one of her favorites.

The song stayed. It brought the house down, Jungkook didn’t think it was too cocky in saying. It was at the height of radio play right now, and a slight departure from the rest of their set, just enough to catch attention and bring back any wandering interest. Drumming and singing lead was a challenge but he felt like he nailed it, felt the victory of it humming through his blood and buzzing behind his eyes and warming his ears. There was no high in the world like playing live music on stage except maybe the short ride of a killer wave, but that was over and done with so fast. He hadn’t been exaggerating when he told Haewon.

“Nailed it,” Jimin told him, clapping him on the back and handing him a beer as soon as he walked off stage. Jimin wasn’t the only one, there were so many hands and fluttery grins and a true throng of people who circled them once they hauled their personal gear off stage to make room for the next act. 

“Bet they regret not asking you to headline,” Taehyung said, which meant a lot to Jungkook and the others too, he thought. It certainly did to him, capped only by Yoongi clinking his beer against Jungkook’s and nodding,

“You fucked that song good. Glad we kept it.”

“Yeah me too. Stop trying to cut my stuff, Elizabeth,” he called over to her. She scowled and flipped him the bird, but a moment later draped herself over his shoulder.

“I admit it. It was great. It’ll be too played out for Flowerfest but you did good.”

“It’s too new to be played out,” Jungkook argued, even though it wouldn’t be on theme for Flowerfest anyway so he hadn’t been going to suggest it. “We should keep it in our set for a while.”

Soyoon nudged his arm and beamed, “I agree. Think you got quite a fan following, JK, why don’t you go talk to them?” She gave Jungkook a hard shove away from their group, towards several women who did in fact seem to be waiting to talk to him.

But for the briefest moment, he thought he saw Grace across the bar. It couldn’t be her… right? But it might be, he really thought so much that it might be her that he found himself missing whatever the closest woman said to him, just didn’t hear her completely, even though the next band was still setting up.

“Sorry, excuse me, I think I see a friend…” he muttered and walked right past them. Was that what Soyoon meant? But Soyoon didn’t know who Grace was. He felt a weird flip in his chest as he pushed his way through the crowd to where he’d seen her. It wasn’t really her, was it? She wouldn’t really come. 

Oh fuck what if she did come to his show. What if she’d just seen that performance for real? Thank fuck it was a good one! He could be proud of that. He hoped she’d be impressed. He hoped she’d lean in close to tell him how good he did, and he’d touch her arm to keep her close so she could hear him offer to buy her a drink and thank her for coming and say how great it was that she’d come. 

What did it mean if she came? Just that she wanted a night out, now that she was single? Maybe it would depend if she’d come alone or brought friends. If she brought friends, she just wanted to listen to good music, and he’d delivered. If she came alone…

He took several gulps of his beer as he reached the spot and looked around. She wasn’t here now. He turned and traced the path he’d taken, wanting to be sure they hadn’t just missed each other. 

If she’d come alone, he’d buy her a drink and slowly lead her out to the part of the bar that spilled into the sand, so they could have some more space and talk. He wanted to hear what she thought. Maybe he’d suggest a walk, if it seemed like she wanted to get out of there. No, if she wanted to get out of there… well, his place was closer but no way could he take a woman like that to his bachelor rental.

He was getting way ahead of himself. Grace hadn’t come to his show to start something with him just because he’d fixed her pool. At best, maybe she came to listen to music and flirt a bit. At best best, maybe they’d drink together for a while, get closer, at most he’d put light moves on her –unless she wanted to start something… but she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t start something with him. Unless…?

No, he was being stupid and hopeful based on nothing but beer and the adrenaline surge from coming off stage. He still felt the thud of the drum through his body and it made him want to feel a different kind of vibration, a more intimate collision. He craned his neck and looked around, trying to find her again, trying to ignore how ready and willing his body was to transition from stage adrenaline to beautiful woman adrenaline.

“Hi,” he barely made out as a hand lightly touched his back. He spun, only to be confronted with someone else, one of the women who’d been hanging out closer to the stage. Not Grace.

“Hi,” he returned. “Hey, did you see a woman around here, about this tall, like brown and blonde hair…” He trailed off, realizing he could be describing half the women in the bar. The woman looked confused and told him no, as if she couldn’t see half the women in the bar.

“Damnit,” he mumbled and stretched to look again, but he wasn’t seeing her now– oh! Wait, there?!

But the woman he’d spotted turned, and it wasn’t Grace, not even close. And now he felt more sure that’s who he had seen and gotten hopeful, confused. 

Fucking fuck.

Yeah, no, but of course she hadn’t come. This wasn’t the kind of place she would hang out on a Saturday evening. She’d said she would keep it in mind, not that she’d actually come. She was probably at a wine tasting or a steak house or a private club along the nice parts of the beach tonight.

He got the impulse to text her, tease her about missing the song. But of course he didn’t know her like that, they didn’t have that kind of familiarity, and he didn’t have her number. Well, technically it was in her file, but not in his phone. Sure, she’d put Neosporin on his cat scratches, but that was it. They weren’t a thing. Obviously they weren’t a thing, because it was Mara he’d bumped two days ago, not Grace.

Could Mara tell he’d been thinking about someone else when he closed his eyes? Now he worried, wondered if that was why she had blocked him afterwards. 

This was getting out of hand. He’d said before he needed to fuck whatever little crush he had out of his system and he was right, it needed to happen. If Grace had any interest in him, she would have come to see the show he directly invited her to. It had all only ever been in his head, whatever little flirtation he’d had with her, and now he was done fixing her pool so even that was done. He’d see her every two weeks to clean her pool and she’d leave some Cheetos out for him like he was a squirrel and that was that.

The woman was talking to him, he realized belatedly. He hadn’t heard a word. But she was attractive and tall and she had nice shoulders and long legs.

“Hey, do you want to get out of here?” he blurted out. Might as well make a move to get over his disappointment that Grace was in fact not the one here praising his performance.

The woman gave him a baffled look and said, “Um, no, as I was saying, I work for a clothing brand and I wanted to talk to you about some promotional outfits because your style is perfect.”

“Oh yeah, right, sorry, I meant so I can hear you better,” he flubbed a cover. “Why don’t you, um, email me? It’s hard to talk business in here.”

That seemed like the right thing to say, though he wasn’t sure she was actually going to follow through. Nothing worse than thinking a hot woman was hitting on you and realizing you were dead wrong. She was just trying to sell some shit. No, to get you to sell her shit.

Eesh. His ego needed a quick recovery so he wound his way back to his friends, one eye partially on the lookout for Grace but he was pretty certain by now he had imagined the whole thing. He wasn’t going to cry about it, but it was disappointing. She would have liked the show.

“My beer is empty,” he realized, holding up the empty glass he’d chugged through his embarrassment. 

“Buy me another!” Corri called, waving her hand at Jungkook.

He made a face and snorted, “Yeah right, you can come with me and buy your own.”

“Charming.”

“I’m not trying to charm you, make Taro buy you a drink.”

Corri’s eyes got really wide like he’d said something shocking or horrific, which he couldn’t figure out. 

Before he could think too much about it, Hoseok had draped his arms over Jungkook’s shoulders and practically shouted in his ear, “I’ll go with you!”

“Hey don’t hang on him,” Jimin scowled and grabbed Hoseok’s arm. “People are going to think you’re his boyfriend.”

“Then he’ll never get laid,” Taehyung sagely agreed. 

“At least not by the people he wants to get laid by… you’d do numbers in a gay club, you know,” Jimin told him, not for the first time. Which Jungkook was obviously flattered by, even if the thought of being intimate with a dick left him absolutely and utterly blank. It wasn’t even a recoil, it’s just that it was a dick, what was sexy or appealing about it? The only good thing about a dick was getting his own sucked or fucked. Probably he could give a pretty good handjob, he’d thought of that before because he was familiar with his own, but it wouldn’t be gratifying to him. 

Belatedly he added, “I did just get laid, so I don’t even care tonight. There’s more to life than fucking, you know.”

“Who’d you get laid by?” Jimin pressed, instantly interested.

“He spent the night with Mara,” Taehyung answered before Jungkook’s mouth even opened.

“How did you know?!”

“You always come back from her place kind of sulky.”

“No, man, that’s not true.”

Jimin and Taehyung both nodded though, and Hoseok, sliding off of him, agreed, “You do. Doesn’t seem like it’s very good sex.”

“That’s probably why you played so well tonight. Sexual frustration,” Soyoon teased, taking Jungkook’s empty bottle and setting it with others on a nearby table. “The worst kind, because you got it but the getting was not good enough.”

“It was sex! What’s not good enough about it?” But even as he said it, because he felt like he needed to defend himself, he also knew exactly what they were talking about. Sex with Mara didn’t feel like it counted. Sure, it was release, it was good in that sense. She was fine. He’d been satisfied at the time. Once he’d thought she was pretty good. It was better than masturbating and it didn’t require much from him since she initiated, but he wasn’t exactly broken up that she’d blocked him and there would never be another round. He’d been thinking of another woman during it anyway.

“I’m not sexually frustrated,” he argued, “and that doesn’t impact my drumming.”

“I think he drums better when he’s been well laid,” Yoongi argued, his only contribution. “He’s a little rushed when he’s frustrated.”

“Yeah, and I was fine tonight,” Jungkook agreed.

“A little rushed,” Yoongi beamed, then disappeared, clearly heading for the bar for another beer and then to make his escape to the outskirts, away from the crowd. That’s where Jungkook wanted to be too. He didn’t feel like talking about sex anymore; was that all they talked about?  

“You’re all assholes, I’m getting another beer,” he said, and turned to follow in Yoongi’s wake. Jimin grabbed the back of his shirt to follow along like a tug boat, Hoseok behind him, all of them letting Jungkook fight his way through the crowd to their benefit. 

*

Jungkook lost count of the beers and the time but he forgot his disappointment and just coasted on the vibes of a fun bar on a Saturday night. Eventually he was all laughter and smiles, easy-going, carefree, riding the high of a good performance and the handful of hot, flirty women it brought into his periphery. After striking out hard with the woman earlier when he was all distracted by the thought of Grace, he didn’t push for anything and mostly just stuck with his friends, but it at least bandaged his ego. See? Girls thought he was hot, even if Grace was unimpressed.

Damn, he wished he could impress her.

But he didn’t, and he really needed to stop thinking about her or it would turn into something pathetic like pining. He was not the kind of guy who pined. If something wasn’t working out, cut your losses and roll on. Pining led to disappointment and dissatisfaction and those things led to depression or drugs or both and that led to your family crying at your memorial every year.

What a relief that just as Jungkook started to get introspective, Hoseok jumped on his back and off they gallivanted to the sandy beach for an impromptu drunk volleyball game. Other friends had joined, Jungkook was surrounded now by people he liked, people he could just relax and have a good time with. Even when Seokjin accidentally hit the ball backwards, directly into Jungkook’s face, it was funny and it didn’t hurt too bad despite his watering eyes.

He took it as an excuse to collapse on the sand for a break. It was the kind of early summer night that had him sweating and shivering at the same time, a cool breeze tickling the sweat on his skin. 

Nearby a gaggle of girls were sitting, clearly drunk and loud. One kept looking at him; he wasn’t sure how long it took him to become aware of it, but she was drunk and slow to look away, and erupted into giggles when he nodded his head at her. Instantly he regretted it; she looked young, probably Haewon’s age, and the older he got, the older his lower age limit was. He didn’t understand guys who wanted to fuck girls who couldn’t even legally drink yet. Couldn’t be him. The last thing he wanted was some young giggly drunk college girl right now, just thinking about it made his dick limper than limp. Nineteen was for baby sisters. 

Two other women walked in front of him, headed towards the water, and his gaze was drawn immediately and entirely towards them and the way moonlight and beach lights glinted off their long dark legs. They had a confidence, an attitude to them; they had lived at least as many years as he had and he found himself drawn to that so much that it got him to his feet, walking after them to wade in the water a couple yards away.

He should just go over to them. He should flirt, be his best charming self. Ask if they’d seen the show, since they’d come from the bar. Lead the subject around to his drumming, see if they were into that, make a couple jokes laced with innuendo to see if they nibbled. If they did, it was an opening, an opportunity they’d be down to nibble something else later tonight, at least one of them. On a night like tonight, he could have good luck finding a new woman to fuck for a night, even if that’s where it ended. There was nothing wrong with a night of fun when you could string them together. Mara was out but he could find a new woman to enter rotation, yeah? Maybe one of those women, and he’d have a great time and so would she, and that was all that mattered. Some people in life had these over-arching purposes like Haewon, and others had purpose though a person or relationship like his eomma and appa, or maybe even Jimin and Hoseok because they’d been together for a while now, and the rest of them were just living life and having fun and fucking around and there didn’t have to be any bigger reason for it and he was cool with that! He didn’t need more than that and he wasn’t just saying that, he was satisfied. He could die tomorrow and he would feel like he’d lived the best life he could, given the circumstances. Sure, he could have lived better with a million dollars and no stress and a girlfriend, but c’est la vie or whatever. That was about all he remembered from high school French, which he had taken because there were more girls than the Spanish classes.

“Hey, aren’t you the drummer for the band earlier?” one of the women asked, suddenly noticing him.

He grinned, internally pumping his fist, and drawled, “Yeah… you ladies like the show?”

“It was amazing– oh my god, how old are you? You look really young,” one said and the fist pump turned into a shake at the heavens. 

“I’m twenty-six, damn, you sure know how to flatter a guy,” he snorted. They couldn’t see his body in the low light, probably only his big beady eyes that yes, he was aware made him look younger. 

“Oh my god, sorry, I didn’t mean it as a bad thing!”

Annoying. Women didn’t think he looked so young once he took his shirt off, but he had a youthful face, whatever. Old women loved it! Younger women didn’t mind! 

“I bet you say that to every Asian guy you meet,” he joked. “You need a new pickup line.” The woman who said it looked shocked, but the other one was unbothered and smiling at him now in a way that still looked like it could be an open door. He might be able to land this one, and end his night balls-deep in a hot woman who had seen his show and enjoyed it. He wouldn’t let his mind wander like he did with Mediocre Mara. That was a mistake. He shouldn’t have bothered with her just because she was easy sex, so he thought right now when presented with more challenging sex that would therefore be more satisfying. Probably. 

Besides, maybe his friends were right, maybe even Haewon had accidentally been right without even knowing what she was talking about: who wanted to have sex with someone you knew didn’t really like you? He was an easy lay for Mara and that was fine because it was easy for him too but… but something was missing. His friends were right, he was sexually frustrated. Mara was right too, she was too same-old for him. He needed someone new and exciting, someone who thought he was hot and cool and really admired him. It had been a while since he’d fucked someone new and exciting. He wasn’t the kind of guy who tracked the weeks any more than he was the kind of guy who kept a body count, but it had been too long. He couldn’t have told you how many women he’d been with if his life depended on it –which women had, and he made up a number based on what he thought they wanted to hear, but he always got it wrong in the end but he suspected they were usually looking for a way out by that point anyway. Which was cool, some people were meant for sticking or being stuck to and maybe he just wasn’t that person. The sticking kind. 

He really, really hoped that someday he would be somebody’s sticking kind and that it would be worth the wait. 

They were asking him about music, about instruments, about drumming technique. Jungkook smiled and nodded and flirted and ignored this weird part of his brain that kept tapping him on the shoulder. He didn’t want to hear what it said. He didn’t want to overthink this. He was cool, casual, slightly drunk Jungkook, he’d just go with the flow. The love of your life had to start somewhere, right? When you least expected it?

“So what do you do during the day?” one of the women asked. “Or is this your full time gig?”

Aw shit.

Jungkook wished desperately he had something cooler to say than the truth, and many a failed date slithered up to his shoulders, but he wasn’t the sort of guy who would lie for pussy. 

“I’m a lifeguard and a pool technician,” he answered with a confident nod. 

“Ohhh,” they said, almost identical intonation. This, this was the problem, and he refused to let it make him bitter but it was starting to make a dent. Women his age in this town didn’t want blue collar, they wanted white collar, or at least something sexy like I’m waiting tables because I want to be an actor or a model. 

“That’s … cool. You must like to swim.” He could feel their eyes slide down and then back up. 

“Yeah, I spend all my free time at the beach. I surf a lot.”

Sometimes that worked, but this time it did not. He could practically see their attention melting away.

“Cool,” one said. And Jungkook sighed. Honestly he didn’t even think he could salvage sex out of this, and there was definitely no budding romantic connection. Time to cut his losses and salvage his dignity. Which was fine, he’d had sex last night. If he was really eager, he could wander back to the stage and let a woman approach him and do most of the talking, that tended to work pretty well. Not for dates, granted, but if all he wanted was someone to go home with, it panned out sometimes. 

His friends cheered over the game behind him and Jungkook got the restless feeling in his gut that he wanted to be anywhere but right here right now.  

“Well I’m glad you both liked the show,” he beamed at them. “Hope you have a nice rest of your night.” He could see they were surprised by the abrupt departure but that didn’t stop him from turning and jogging over to jump onto Seokjin’s back just as the game was breaking up and demand, “What’s everyone doing? Where are we going?”

“Oh, aren’t you going home with one of those chicks?” 

“Nah, I want to hit the beach early tomorrow. We calling it a night or going somewhere else?”

“You’re going to surf in the morning?” Seokjin laughed. “Won’t you be hungover?”

“I rarely get those.”

“Damn. Youth,” Seokjin sighed. “You won’t see me.”

“I’ve got work,” Hoseok sighed and flopped down on the sand. “Why can’t I be a kept man?”

Jimin laughed and kicked his leg, “Why can’t I be the kept man? You’re more capable than I am, you have to work.”

“We could both be the kept man.”

“Oh yeah? Who’s keeping us?”

“I’d keep you if I could,” Jungkook said grandly. “If I had a million dollars, none of us would have to work and we could just live like this all the time.”

“A million dollars really isn’t that much money,” Soyoon pointed out. She hadn’t been playing volleyball; Jungkook thought she had already left with Yoongi and was surprised to see her saunter over now. “You could take everyone on like one nice vacation.”

“Ok, I’d do that then,” Jungkook decided.

“Awww are you drunk and sentimental now? Is that why you bailed on ass to come back and roll around with us?” Jimin asked, curling around Jungkook’s feet and trying to drag him down. Jungkook easily lifted Jimin up, making him flail and shriek with laughter as Jungkook spun him in a circle and then tossed him back down with Hoseok.

“‘I’m not sentimental, I’m restless.”

“Yeah so go fuck one of those women.”

“Nah. Maybe I should take a break from sex for a while,” he mused. “It’s getting kind of boring.”

“Sex is… boring?”

“Bad sex is boring,” Soyoon snickered. “Bye for good Mara.”

“We talk about sex too much, it’s not that great. It always ends the same way. Let’s do something else tonight,” Jungkook insisted. 

“You’re kind of weird lately,” Taehyung laughed, squeezing Jungkook’s cheeks together. “Extra weird.”

“Nah, I’m cool. Let’s go.”

“Drinks and games at home?”

  “I’m going to Yoongi’s to smoke, if you want to join,” Soyoon shrugged. “And I’ve got my car and I’m sober to drive so…”

Jungkook didn’t really want to do that either, but he couldn’t put his finger on what he wanted to do. Maybe he didn’t even want to be surrounded by people right now but he didn’t want to be alone either, so being with his friends seemed like the next best thing, and he didn’t really want to go smoke at Yoongi’s place but that’s where everyone was headed so hey, he’d go with the flow. 

Maybe Taehyung was right, he was being a little weird. Usually he didn’t bounce around this way. Even his own thoughts were bouncy. It felt like he was just trying to pass the time until something… but what? There was nothing coming up in his life. He had no plans. He had no goals. There was no upcoming vacation or party or anything like that. Flowerfest, but it wasn’t that big a deal. Why did he have that weird tingle of anticipation in his belly –which would have made sense if he was still flirting with the girls and hoping to score with one tonight, but he’d backed out of that. 

Sex with Mara sure hadn’t fixed it, so fine, he’d see if weed with Yoongi did instead. 

“Shotgun!” he shouted and tore ahead to Soyoon’s car, barely slowed down when Jimin jumped onto his back. 

Nothing like a Tuesday morning spent across a table from Tim to ruin every modicum of contentment Grace had worked on for the last few days. Her weekend had been fine but busy bouncing between social engagements, followed by a perfectly fine Monday of work touring open houses with a client. Busy was good, she was busy with the things she wanted to be busy with. More exciting than that, she had already secured plans for Friday night out with Alicia, with Alicia’s guarantee Grace would end the night “fucked out beneath a hot guy.” Grace was desperately clinging to that promise because honestly she just needed some relief. Bonus points if the guy could want her, crave her, just be really overwhelmed with lust for her because damn did her self esteem need it right now.

“This is the breakdown of assets we agreed to take to the judge,” Lidiyah evenly reminded Tim and his lawyer. Robert Butts had the unfortunate appearance of looking like a butt with a deep cleft chin and jowls and only a thin layer of buzzed black hair, and looking at him filled Grace with rage because he was an idiot lawyer –Lidiyah had said it many times– intentionally saying and doing dumb shit to drag this whole thing out because that’s what Tim wanted. 

“My client wants to revisit the list. He doesn’t think it’s appropriate to include assets for distribution that your client never interacted with,” Robert Butts argued. Grace looked at the sheet of paper they had highlighted things on –the pool table, the stair master, the TV from Tim’s man cave. Even the fucking dart board which couldn’t have been more than $250. The craziest claims though were the ‘66 Chevy Corvette Stingray convertible and the Mercedes Maybach EQS SUV, which he claimed were his and only his because she had never driven the Mercedes and the Chevy Corvette should be considered a gift for his 40s or at least only appraised at the original sales price because he was the one who had “funded restoration.” (With joint funds!)

Grace saw red when she looked at the list, but looking at Tim would make her even angrier so she looked at her watch instead. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how angry he made her. She wanted to look like she was unbothered, like she didn’t care, like this was just a waste of her time.

“That’s not what division of assets means,” Lidiyah said again. “These assets were purchased with joint funds, including the Stingray. It does not matter who touched what items in the house for how many seconds.”

Today was just supposed to be a chance to finally agree on the list and both sign it so it could be brought before the judge as part of the official divorce proceedings. Today was not supposed to be a chance to reopen the list and argue over every fork and spoon.

Grace tapped Lidiyah’s arm and leaned close to whisper, “As much as I hate this, I don’t care about this anymore, just give him the shit and let’s sign it.”

“Give me one week to fix this,” Lidiyah argued, just as quietly. “If we budge on this, it gives him space to reopen other things. I would almost have gone in on the TV and pool table but not those fucking cars. That’s ludicrous.”

Grace didn’t want to give Lidiyah even one more week, even though she completely and totally agreed it was ludicrous. What next, claiming all the funds that had come from sale of the house and were currently sitting in escrow awaiting settlement? She was ready to burst, sitting in the room with Tim never directly addressing her made her so angry. How had she ever been married to this man? She had to believe he had changed, surely she would never have been so stupid to love someone this petty and stupid and selfish.

But Grace trusted her lawyer and sighed noisily, “Are you really this hard up for money, Tim?” It was a well placed blow; he immediately began to shout at her and Robert Butts dove in to quiet him down. 

“The list has to stand,” she argued. “If you really want to open it up further, my dad is going to want to revisit that loan he made which has never been paid back and which I think funded your Bentley alongside your career.”

“That was a gift!” Tim shouted. “An investment, not a loan!”

Lidiyah gave Grace a look, clearly annoyed Grace had poked, but she couldn’t stop herself. It was in Tim’s best interest that he stop dragging his feet about this and get it over with quick. In fact, her father had wanted to go after Tim for the money purely out of spite as soon as Grace told him about the divorce, but Grace knew Tim would fight it and it would slow things down. Now, since Tim was slowing things down so badly anyway, her strength was starting to waver. 

“You aren’t going to find it called anything but a loan in any of the paperwork,” Grace mused, settling back in her seat. Tim’s rage made her feel stronger. See? She had more power over him than he had over her.

She didn’t like the person this divorce was trying to make her.

Fortunately the appointment didn’t last much longer; Lidiyah called a stop to it, stating this was a waste of her and her client’s time if Tim and his lawyer were not there to move things forward in good faith. They could send over a counterproposal for the asset allotment if they wanted, but if it wasn’t received in 48 hours, Lidiyah and Grace would send one over.

“Which you will like even less than this one,” Grace added before Lidiyah ushered her from the room. 

“Don’t bait him, Grace,” her attorney reminded as they headed out to their cars. “Let him make an ass of himself.”

“At what point is he holding me hostage in this marriage?” Grace argued.

“I know. We’re getting closer.”

“Seriously, how long can he drag this out? I know you want the principle of it and I did too but I’m reaching my limit. At some point I don’t care about the money, I just want it all to go away.”

“What you don’t want is him trying to open the prenup,” Lidiyah reminded.

“He can’t. It’s ironclad.”

“He can try and it’ll drag this all out further.”

“So he has all the power right now. He can keep me from escaping –I just want to be free, Lidiyah.”

“I know. We’re getting closer. Just hang in there a little longer.”

Grace was tired of hanging in there. She got into her car and pulled a safe distance away with a plan to scream, just to get the bubble out of her chest. 

She couldn’t go through with it. She couldn’t be as ridiculous as Tim. Instead she clenched everything way down tight and squeezed her eyes shut until she stars on the back of her eyelids.

It was bad enough, everything Tim had done, but she genuinely felt like this was worse than the infidelity. He hadn’t wanted her, so why the hell wouldn’t he let her go?She’d changed her name, she had a completely separate life and finances now, but she still had to dedicate brain space to divorce, time to these meetings, significant money to her attorney, and hey, you wanted to talk about principle, she had to still live with the knowledge she was legally bound to him right now. She had filed every paperwork she could making her family her beneficiaries, her emergency contact, her health care proxy. She’d taken every step she could to sever ties with him and yet he still had a chain around her wrist and she was about ready to strangle herself with it just to be free.

Her driving homeward was not the best she’d ever done but she made it unscathed, music up loud as she tried to drown out her own anger. She growled low in her throat as the gate took too long to open, then promptly shut up when it revealed JK’s truck parked in the corner. Well wasn’t that the last thing she needed right now, someone on her property who she didn’t want to be a bitch to right when she felt like being the biggest most outrageous bitch to someone because the small jabs at Tim were just not enough.

She couldn’t see him and tried to look casual as she turned her music down and waited for the garage door to open, but she hit the gas too hard and then the breaks too hard pulling in and the squeal of the tires definitely didn’t sound casual. She also hadn’t actually turned the music down as much as she thought because when she turned the car off, the sudden silence left her ears ringing.

Maybe she could sneak inside without him realizing she was here?

She leapt out of her car, yanking her purse so hard it sent the contents spewing across the floor of the garage. She clenched everything in her body so as not to scream, but instead it made her eyes prickle with the threat of tears. She emitted a choked scream instead, trying to hold it in and let it out at the same time. It hurt her throat.

“Hey, you ok?” JK asked from the driveway. She turned slowly, wanting to make sure she did not let any of this rage escape in his direction. He didn’t deserve that, just for innocently asking how she was at a really bad time. And he was so innocent, so kind, he’d been so nice and harmless and even supportive in the small moments her personal life had bumped against their professional relationship. He looked so sincerely concerned now, like he could see she was on the verge of going supernova.

“I’m having a bad day,” she said, hoping that would be enough. He took a step closer and it was too much because he was so handsome and nice and had never done any of the shit Tim had done, why couldn’t she have met and married someone more like JK, huh? JK wouldn’t act like this in a divorce, a divorce he had caused, she was sure of it, because he probably wasn’t the kind of guy who’d be screwing around in the first place. Or maybe he was! She didn’t actually know him or anything about him and her gut about men was clearly broken and couldn’t be trusted and she was going to ask Alicia to just point her to someone safe and that would have to be enough for the rest of Grace’s life because she could never go through this again. There had never been a golden time with Tim that was worth it now. It was not better to have loved and lost. 

“Ah, sorry to hear that. You–” He broke off whatever he’d been going to say when she covered her face. Probably he thought she was going to cry. She wasn’t. She was trying not to scream again. She wanted to throw a tantrum like a toddler, she wanted to hit and scream and punch something –preferrably Tim’s stupid fucking face.

“Here here here, punch punch,” he suddenly said, voice urgent as he dove forward. 

“What?”

He’d held his hands up and insisted, “Punch, really hard!”

“What?!”

“Come on, you won’t hurt me, just do it, punch.”

“I’m not going to punch you–”

“It’s just sparring! Boxing is the best way to get that feeling out. Come on, I can see you’re tense as shit, it’ll help, just punch my hand.” 

“I don’t know how to–”

He grabbed her hand, curled her fingers with her thumb out, and warned, “Your nails might hurt your palm but… seems like maybe it’s worth it… come on, right here, just punch.” 

“JK, this is…” But he had his hands up waiting, and the explosive rage hadn’t left her yet, and in the back of her mind she remembered the childhood guidance to punch a pillow or slam a stuffed animal against the ground if you were angry. Who had told her that? She couldn’t remember. Certainly not her parents; rage wasn’t allowed; there was no reason or room for rage in their privileged lives.

She hauled back and punched his palm, or rather glanced off the heel of his hand. He caught her hand, nudged it to the side, and said,

“Try again. Turn your body this time, not just from your shoulder.”

She followed his instructions, throwing another punch he easily caught. Her nails did dig into her palm a bit.

“Good, twist on your toes, keep your feet planted.”

She didn’t know how to punch. She knew she looked stupid as shit, but he didn’t laugh even a little, just caught her next punch, and the next. The thud of her fist against his hand felt good, good in a crazy way she couldn’t explain unless she was secretly a violent person and just hadn’t known all this time. Even the sound of it was satisfying. JK caught each punch until she’d done probably ten and her hands were hurting and she tried punching with the left one but over-balanced and nearly toppled to the side.

“Ok, body compression?” he asked.

“What’s what?”

“Uh… a really tight… hug? No? I don’t want to… overstep…” he said, hands up, eyes wide. 

“I don’t know, will that help me not murder my still not quite ex fucking husband?” she spat out without meaning too, because the punching had helped but now she felt like an active live wire rather than an imploding one.

“Yah, I hope so, I just finished your pool, you can’t go to jail before you even swim in it,” he teased. She wasn’t in the mood for teasing yet, but apparently this was her support system right now and even though everything in her head screamed at her that she should just go inside and kick a pillow and keep her feelings private and professional until they passed– when JK stepped forward with open arms, she stayed put to see what this was. She didn’t want to be hugged right now. If he hugged her or said nice things, she was going to have to work really hard not to scream and kick him in the shins. 

“Yes?” he asked.

“Ok,” she said, not sure what she was actually agreeing to. She felt wild with anger and frustration as his arms wrapped around her, tighter and tighter. He even adjusted her arms, pinning them against her chest between them. Then he squeezed tight, far tighter than was comfortable for a hug, so tight that when he leaned back, it lifted her from the ground. His skin was flushed and sweaty, which she couldn’t miss with her chin right on his shoulder. His t shirt stretched around his shoulder muscles as he squeezed tighter, so tight it would be uncomfortable to breathe, so she just held her breath.

She suddenly went limp in his arms. She couldn’t have explained it, but the tight hold pulled her tighter and tighter and tighter until suddenly her body just decided ok, enough, relax. She collapsed against him, so suddenly he stepped to catch her unexpected ragdoll weight. For one brief moment, her cheek pressed to his neck, his hands splayed across her back, and it felt like a normal hug –exactly the thing thirty seconds ago she thought would make her scream, but now felt warm and strong and safe.

When his arm dipped lower to hold around her waist, she realized this had turned into an inappropriate hug and that her pool guy was not the right place to be getting emotional comfort and also not the right person to see her throw a tantrum. She quickly stepped back, tripping over her own feet as her spaghetti-legs tried to firm up. He held her arms to keep her steady and gave her the sunniest, sweetest smile that had no place on a day like this. It was disorienting. 

“What kind of hoodoo magic was that?” she stammered out.

“Ha, did it help?”

Her arms and legs tingled. Her back buzzed where his arms had pressed into it. Truthfully, she wished he would hold her tight like that again, maybe he could squash her down completely, legs too. Why did she want that?! She couldn’t explain it.

“You looked like you needed to punch something and I was worried you’d kick your car,” he said.

“I’m not a violent person.”

“Your ex makes me feel violent too.”

“He’s trying to completely break me in this divorce, fighting with me over nonsense,” she admitted. “He’s holding me hostage. I just want to be done with it.” She felt the anger rising again, the frustration, the helplessness. 

“You’ve probably got a really good lawyer, right? You’ll be done soon.”

“I wanted to take the high road and instead he’s twisting me into this… violent, awful person,” she fretted.

“Eh, I don’t think that’s true. Needing to punch something is just like… that’s just physical, that’s just like fucking. You just need to get it out of your system when your body wants to… you know, uh… hey, want me to slash his tires?”

Grace stared at him, tugged all over by what he had just said. There was almost a kernel of wisdom in the first part, she thought. Maybe he was right. Fucking, punching, was any of it really that different from needing to go on a run or work out really hard? She needed the adrenaline out. Maybe that’s why her body had been so horny lately too, maybe she’d just been running too high for too long and her body needed to vent something besides tears. That would explain why her horniness had nothing to do with love or romance, she just wanted to get railed. Right now. If only–

“Oh my god you can’t slash his tires,” she gasped, the last bit catching up to her. 

“I was kidding. Mostly.”

“I’m serious, you of all people have to stay away from him.”

“Me? Why me of all people?”

“He doesn’t know you took the video and I have worked hard to make sure it stays that way,” she insisted. “God, the last thing I need is him coming after you.”

“Eh, I’ll be fine.”

She rolled her eyes and, impulsively, gave a hard shove against his chest that barely budged him as she scolded, “I’m serious, JK. I don’t need a misguided knight in shining armor. Don’t be like that.”

“What do you need instead?” he asked, eyebrow arched. Grace’s brain short-circuited. Yeah if you could just bend me over that patio table there and fuck me senseless, I think I’d be set for the day. His chest had felt hard beneath her palms, was that why her brain had leapt right there? 

“Why are you here today?” she asked instead. Then, considering it might have sounded excessively rude, she added, “Not that I’m not always glad to see you.”

He clapped his hand to his chest and laughed like he was playing along with a joke, and reminded, “I told you I’d be back to check your pool.”

“Oh, right. Need to show me anything?”

“Sure… want help cleaning up your stuff first?” he asked, and made to step around her. She couldn’t bear to watch him stoop to pick up her lipstick and kleenexes and keys from the ground though. That shit could stay down there, she was so angry at her purse for betraying her like that.

“Leave it,” she said, catching his arm, “I’ll deal with it later.”

“You might forget and run over your… diamond-encrusted lipstick,” he said, turning the tube over in his hand, the Swarovski crystal one her sister had given her for Christmas one year. Honestly she hated it, hence why it spent its days lurking in the bottom of her purse, forgotten. Jungkook popped it open and mused, “Bright red. That’s a good color.”

“I’ve never even worn it,” she sighed and grabbed it from hands to close it and tossed it back in the direction of her purse. She’d never worn it because Tim didn’t like that color, he thought it was too attention-seeking. “Whorish” was the word he’d used, actually. He liked darker shades which she didn’t think flattered her but she’d worn them anyway, trying to be the kind of wife who was adored by her husband. 

“Yeah and you never will if you run over it.”

“I’ve dealt with enough consequences for one day,” she sighed. 

“Ok ok. Need to punch some more?” he offered, hands going up.

She felt stupid to have let him goad her into that now. How silly. How immature. JK really just saw the worst of her all the time, didn’t he? It was mortifying, and now she felt her face heating up and a desperate urge for him to leave so she could be alone in her embarrassment.

“Just show me the pool please,” she asked, because she wasn’t sure how else to hurry him along. 

“You got it,” he said, probably thinking she was crazy. She trailed him across the patio and down the path to the pool, which looked like a heavenly oasis, sparkling under the sunlight filtering through the trees. Once there he turned to her and motioned with his hands like she’d won a prize. “Your pool.” When she just stared, confused, he admitted, “I didn’t need to show you anything about it. I just came by to check everything and it looks perfect. I did a good job.”

“You did a great job,” she agreed. “It’s beautiful.”

“Have you used it yet? Any concerns or problems?”

Her sigh was probably answer enough as she admitted, “No, I haven’t even gotten to use it yet.” 

“Well why not? You spent a lot of money on this thing.”

“I know, and you worked really hard.”

“Yeah,” he grinned. “I’d have been in this the second the pool guy drove away!”

“I mean to be, I just got… busy…” Busy maintaining social connections that were more important to her mother than to herself right now. Busy working on the house like she was in a rush to please someone other than herself. Busy trying to figure out a new normal that still somehow was not actually putting her needs first. 

“You’re right,” she said. “Why the hell not?”

 She then promptly leapt into the pool, fully clothed, one sandal dangling from her toes until the water swallowed her and carried it away. The water was cool, crystal clear, so clean she could see JK’s rippling figure leaning over the edge of the pool, staring down at her. She erupted up through the surface, her blouse and hair billowing around her. 

“You really did that, huh?” he laughed. 

“Yeah why not? It’s my pool, right? I can swim in it whenever I want.”

“Yeah.”

“Stop looking at me like I’m crazy,” she complained and splashed him, water arcing across his legs. “I guess I’m a little crazy today.”

“You’re not crazy. I worked fucking hard on this pool, I want you to enjoy it. Fully clothed? Ok, whatever you want.”

She didn’t know what came over her. Madness, recklessness, it didn’t matter. She splashed him again and demanded, “You come in too.”

“Me, huh?”

“You worked so hard on this pool. Come on in if you want. Or don’t! It’s whatever you want, JK. Do whatever you want. It’s a nice pool though, isn’t it? This pool guy I hired did an amazing job on it.”

She ducked under the water to push her hair back, wishing she had clipped or tied it today instead of leaving it down. She surfaced just in time for him to sail over her and land ass-first, sending a wave right into her face. She yelped and splashed back at him as soon as he surfaced. 

“I didn’t say drown me!” she laughed.

“Oh you can dish it out but you can’t take it, huh?” he shouted back, paddling his hands to spectacularly outdo her attack. 

“I can take it just fine, I–” she broke off as too much talking earned her a mouthful of water. They were like children, she felt juvenile and free and buoyant and couldn’t stop laughing long enough to clear the water from her nose and mouth. Suddenly he was gone again beneath the surface, the blue of his t-shirt and board shorts blending in with the pool tile. His dark hair stood out though, easily tracked as he surfaced right beside her, a hand sliding up her body to catch her arm.

Grace was not ignorant to the thrill that ran up her spine with his touch. She chalked it up to the crazy behavior of jumping into her pool fully clothed and inviting the pool guy to swim with her.

“What’s that? You’re drowning?” he asked. “I’m a lifeguard, you know.”

“I said you were drowning me–”

“I’ll save you!” he promised and caught her around the waist and dragged her to the shallow water. 

“JK!” she laughed, grabbing at his arm, fingers sliding across smooth, firm muscle. Damn. Did she curl around him playfully, just because she could? She did, grabbing his other shoulder, remembering how tightly he’d squeezed her not long ago. It took him so little effort to carry her along. His arms felt like warm, strong steel beneath her fingers. The water churned around the twist of their bodies.

She was pretty crazy today, but he was sort of a strange person too, constantly ignoring proper boundaries and behavior anyway, so maybe it didn’t matter!

“I’m not drowning you, your shirt is. Dry clean only?” he guessed.

“Oops yeah,” she laughed. He wasn’t wrong about either account; the gauzy material flowed around them, clinging to both their bodies, ballooning uselessly and transparently. She had wanted to look professional and perfect and proper at the meeting with Tim and for why? It didn’t matter at all. Now it clung too tight around her neck and shoulders and she tried to peel the ruffles off her skin.

“Need some help with that? I’m a lifeguard, ma’am,” he reminded, in such a low and serious voice that she burst into laughter. 

“Are you actually a lifeguard? They don’t sound like that.”

“Yes I’m– I’m actually a lifeguard,” he cried, suddenly so openly insulted that she doubled over. “I save lives!”

“How many lives have you saved?”

“So many, Grace!”

It was the combination, the fact that he’d shouted her name, the fact that he was insisting he was a life saver, the fact he couldn’t keep a straight face –she couldn’t stand it. Tears rolled down her cheeks, she laughed so hard as she battled her own clothing. At least her skirt was loose and less bothersome as it twined around her knees, unlike the shirt showing every ridge of her lace bra.

“So many!” she repeated. “Are you sure they aren’t just faking?”

His voice dropped again, lowered as his body rose from the water beside her, as he demanded, “Why? Why? Women don’t fake it with me. Don’t fake anything with me.”

“I would never,” she vowed, giggling nervously because he was suddenly so close. Women don’t fake it with me. Yeah they probably didn’t need to. JK seemed like the kind of guy who knew how to wring pleasure from a woman. “I meant faking drowning to get mouth to mouth from you,” she quickly clarified. 

“You think so?” he asked, cocky grin, lifted eyebrow, water cascading from glistening arms making her head spin as he pushed his hair out of his face. One of his sleeves had bunched up, showing off more of his shoulder and tattoo and one little very loud corner of Grace’s brain suggested lick the water off. Jungkook sank down on the step beside her and playfully demanded, “You need mouth to mouth? Nearly drowning?”

“Yeah, I might be drowning,” she mumbled without weighing her own words and leaned in without thinking of the consequences of her actions. 

He’d asked the leading question but she kissed him first, she was sure of it –as sure as he was that he’d kissed first, something they could argue about forever. In the moment though there was no first or second, only joined mouths and wet bodies suddenly pressed together as dripping hands pulled at drenched clothing and skin, tangled in hair with every caress. His fingers dug into her back, holding her so tight against his body she lost herself for a moment, lost her mind, lost all sense of time. Until the tug of her blouse disrupted her, tangled in the friction of their bodies until the neckline was chafing her neck.

“Wait, wait,” she gasped and instantly he sprang away. It gave her just the space she needed to grab the ruined fabric and try to wrestle it up over her head, where it tangled in her hair and around her ears. It was his hands that unhooked it, slid it free, and threw it to the ledge of the pool. She reached for his shirt too, then stopped her fingers just as they gripped the fabric. No, oops, too far, too fast. 

He kissed her again in her moment of hesitation, and murmured against her mouth, “You want it off, take it off.”

So she did, eyes blatantly ogling as he helped her drag the shirt over his head and send it arcing through the air as well. So much naturally sun-kissed skin wrapped around her as she slid her hands up his shoulders, his dipping around her waist, pulling her flush against him again. It felt like his skin radiated sunlight, she could feel it rising through her palms and washing through her body. His fingers burned wherever they touched her, his lips dragged away all thoughts of breathing.  

Should she stop this? 

She should stop this. 

She couldn’t stop this because she didn’t want to stop this.

His mouth pulled the sweetest sigh from hers, and his arms were so warm and tight around her, and frankly her body was on fire right now, held together only by him, like he had compressed her earlier and now unraveled her. She didn’t want to stop this. JK’s thumb tilted her chin up so his lips could trail down her throat and all she could do was wrap her legs around his waist so the water would stop dragging them apart and moan at what it felt like to be desired. It had been so long since anyone had grabbed her like this, kissed her like this.  

She swore he called her beautiful, swore he nipped the word into the skin of her throat as she let her head fall back. His fingers dug into the flesh of her hip and thigh, exposed by her floating loose skirt. She didn’t know if he was trying to pull her but she ground against him anyway, seeking the friction her body desperately wanted. 

He moved higher in the pool, dragging her into his lap until they became a tangle of arms and legs, lips clashing, needy sighs churning around the water.

“Hey,” he said around the kisses he didn’t seem any more eager to stop. “Hey, hey.”

“Hmm?”

He made a noise somewhere between a hiss and a groan as she rocked her body mindlessly against his, only this time angled in such a way she felt him between them, felt his body’s response to all of this. She wanted that, wanted it so badly that the only thing she could think to do was rub against him again, grinding the ache between her legs against his hardness.

“Hey, baby,” he interrupted, and this time lifted her, holding her above his lap in the water, his fingers digging into her thighs. Getting called baby by this smug twenty-something was as disorienting as the realization she may have just gone too far and made a fool of herself.

“Oh god, I’m so–”

“How far do you want this to go?” he asked her, and licked his swollen lips, chest heaving. He stared at her with dark eyes burning in a flushed face.  

All the way. All the fucking way, she stopped herself from screaming. Her palms burned on his shoulders, her body ached for him, for fulfillment, for release. It had been so long since someone had done it for her, something more than the easy underwhelming release of a vibrator, and here was the hottest man she’d ever had her hands on holding her by the bare thighs asking her what she wanted and she didn’t trust herself to answer that she wouldn’t sound like an idiot. 

She felt the shift as he started to lower her to the side, as he kindly suggested, “If you need to think about it we can–”

“I don’t know how to say it,” she admitted with a nervous smile, aware that something important dangled by a thread right now and she may not be smooth enough to pull it off.

“Say what?” he asked. His expression immediately shifted into a smile. His muscles twitched as he changed direction, pulling her closer again –but not quite, not close enough. “Just say it.”

“I…” It was mean, this teasing. He knew he was teasing, she could see it in his face, could feel it in the way he pushed her away again, sliding her back and forth in the water. Taunting her. It made her want to kick him. It made her feel crazy. It made her want to bite him and kiss him harder and latch on so he couldn’t push her away until she’d had her way with him, until she was left spent and exhausted on the edge of the pool.

“You look so shy,” he teased. “It’s cute. No one’s ever made you ask for it before?”

“I guess not...”

“Ha!” He threw his head back. “I knew it. Pretty girl used to getting what she wants, when she wants it.”

“That’s not true,” she scowled. 

“Never has to ask to be dicked down. Well you have to ask me,” he said, pulling her close, so close she could almost press against him. She was hungry for him, but not sure about this power play, this bossiness. He was in her pool, and it wasn’t like he wouldn’t be getting something out of this. He knew she’d just got out of a terrible marriage where she did not get what she wanted, when she wanted it. He had to know she was wildly out of practice in the art of seduction and had no clue what she was doing and hadn’t even been properly fucked in years. 

“If it’s such a favor I have to beg then–”

He yanked her close and this time ground himself against her, nearly making her eyes roll back as he breathed into her ear, “I want you so fucking bad, but I’ve held off this long so I can wait as long as it takes for you to really want it.”

Was he lying? Did he mean that? How long? If he was just saying what she wanted to hear, she didn’t care. He was playing his part perfectly.

“Stop holding back,” she insisted and slid her mouth along his jaw and nipped at his earlobe. His fingers dug painfully into her ass, dragging her across the hard ridge in his board shorts. She heard his breath stutter in his chest and thrilled that she’d be affecting him this way. It didn’t matter if she was one of a hundred women he’d spoken to like this, she had him worked up in the pool, she had him hard and wanting, and her body thrummed with anticipation. She refused to be intimidated by his little display of dominance.

“Come on,” she teased this time, grinding again. “If you want me so bad.”

“But what do you want?”

“You’re so mean,” she complained, and bit his ear, wishing he would just do it already. “A bully…”

“I’m a bully?” He grabbed the fabric of her skirt suddenly and rocked more quickly against her, both of them groaning at the contact even though it felt too sluggish, too muted by the water to be just right, but so close. “You’ve got me ready to bust in my board shorts, you’ve got us both aching, all because you’re too proud to admit you want to be fucked by the pool guy.”

Was she too proud? Pride wasn’t the issue. Fear was holding her back, it would keep holding her back from every opportunity that crossed her path if she kept being like this. If she wanted a safe man for her first time, JK was as good as it was going to get. He’d already seen her shame, would it be ok for him to see her need to? Could he be trusted with yet another secret? He hadn’t held the others against her.

“Please fuck me,” she gasped. “God, I just want to be fucked. Will you?”

He kissed her hard as he pushed her through the water, so hard she saw stars before she could catch her breath, not until the ledge of the pool pressed against her back. His mouth was hungry against hers, like she really had turned the key to unleash them both. She grabbed his head to hold him steady, to kiss him back more, but he escaped and kissed down her throat. He lifted her higher, further from what she wanted, but the complaint died on her lips as he pushed her bra up and sucked her nipple between those kiss-swollen lips of his. His tongue flicked, leaving her distracted and not expecting his thumb to brush along the center of her underwear. The water lapping against her stomach confused her mind, made it feel like she had two bodies each being worked. His wet kisses dragged along her chest to her other breast, she felt every lick and suck and swirl of his tongue around her nipple pebbling from the cold exposure. She also felt every single stroke of his finger as it slid underneath her panties and pressed around her clit.  

“Oh god,” she gasped and slid her fingers into his dark hair tickling her chest, her body shuddering. He rubbed circles between her legs and sucked at her nipple and she felt sure she’d cum before he was even in her. If so, she wouldn’t say anything. She didn’t want this to end so soon. Everything he did felt good, everywhere he touched felt alive and electric in a way she did not ever recall feeling in her life. When his thumb circled her entrance and then sank in, she made a noise that had him chuckling against her chest. 

“It’s just my thumb,” he teased. “Think you can handle the real thing or you going to cum too soon?”

“Well sorry, one of us is a little touch-starved…”

“Are you kidding? You think I’m not starving right now?” His mouth was impossibly sloppy up her throat, up to tongue her earring, and then slide down to her mouth, trails of saliva and pool water everywhere making her skin rise in goosebumps. She gasped and rocked her hips against his hand working her to the edge, twining her arms around his shoulders to give her leverage. He could totally make her cum this way. Was that pathetic? 

His hand suddenly pulled away, leaving her reeling. She knew it showed on her face. She just stared at him, confused for the second until it was clear he’d pulled away to drag his boardshorts off –completely off, tossed to the edge of the pool as if he had no problem being bum-fucking-naked in her backyard. That drove her wild, for him to be so casual about it. Inspired, she unclasped her bra and tossed it aside, then dragged her panties down. He took them from her and threw them far away into the yard, grinning cheekily as he did so. When she reached for her skirt though he stopped her.

“Leave that.”

“Why?”

“Leverage,” he said, and bunched the fabric up by the waistband and used that to yank her close. Her naked chest against his, cold water against flushed skin, made her gasp. Oh shit. Oh shit, fucking JK in the pool, she wasn’t even drunk, what was she doing?

But she wanted this, wanted it so bad she didn’t care about the consequences, wanted it so badly she reached down to take hold of his cock herself and stroke. The moan that rolled from his chest delighted her; he kissed his next moan into her mouth, tongue dipping down to tangle with hers. He was naked, he was so naked and all wrapped up with her and Grace was somebody else right now, living an impossible fantasy.

“You got a plan for that?” he asked, taunting her as he slowly thrust into her palm. She wrapped her other hand around him too and dragged, trying to get another moan from him but driving herself crazy instead. She wanted that, she wanted it in her, her heart thudded up high and down low and anywhere but her chest, she felt wild with desperation to be filled by him. She tried to pull herself close enough to impale but the water was clumsy to move through, more resistant than she thought, and she found herself continuing to clench around nothing, longing for his thumb, his pinky, anything. But preferably the hard cock filling her hand.  

Her back hit the edge of the pool again. He kissed her again, distracting, but not enough that she missed his fingers gripping the insides of her thighs, lifting and pressing them apart, leaving her so brazenly open for him and yet modestly hidden beneath the water. She guided his cock, rubbing the hard head of it against her clit, rocking her hips until she got him in just the right place and he sank slowly into her. A groan rushed from his chest and she devoured it, tightening her arms around his neck as he began to move into her, slowly pressing deeper and deeper, pinning her against the wall of the pool as his cock spread her –but not deep enough, she needed deeper, she could feel how shallow his slow, encumbered thrusts were. 

“Stupid water,” he murmured, dropping her thighs to grab her ass instead and pulled her but his hands slipped. He grabbed the fabric of her skirt instead and yanked. His body bucked as if frustrated, his breath sounding like a desperate pant, and that made her feel even wilder, because this already felt so good she wanted to scream and he wasn’t even really getting to fuck her the way he wanted to, the way she wanted. 

“Stupid water,” she agreed, and tried sinking her weight into him. It got him deeper, deep enough she finally felt full and she groaned into his shoulder. She slid her feet around him as he moved her away from the wall, not sure his plan, but forming one of her own: she lifted from him, then used her feet on his ass to drive herself down again. He quickly caught on and matched his thrust to her rhythm. It felt so much better, she felt so full and snug that she wasn’t even embarrassed by the satisfied moan that rushed out around his lips. Their synchronized rhythm, the full press and slap of their bodies against each other, even the twitching of his shoulder muscles beneath her forearms were enough enough it was more than enough. 

Then he carried her up to steps so that she was mostly of the water and suddenly the jolt of his body fucking hers was much, much stronger.

“Oh my god,” she yelped with surprise when the kiss of water was gone, and she felt her full weight held aloft only by his arms. This time when his cock pressed into her, she felt it in ways she had not realized the water was muting. 

“Fuck, there,” he groaned. His hands slipped around her thighs and ass, fingers grabbing all over, looking for the right grip on her slippery body. In a stroke of genius, he hooked his elbows beneath her knees, and for a moment held her aloft and fucked into her so hard she screamed.

“What! You ok?”

“Oh my god,” she gasped. “Oh my god, do that, do that more.”

“Oh that was a good– yeah–” She couldn’t believe it, him holding her like that. Without having to support her own weight all, it left her free to just take it and holy shit. She grabbed his shoulders and tried to press down into the rapid thrusts and wailed into his neck. He fucked harder, faster, fingers digging for traction, holding her tight so she couldn’t run away from her own building pleasure.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” she gasped against his neck and curled around his body and stopped making any noise at all as pleasure erupted from the drive of his cock all the way up to her scalp. A cry chased the silence as her body spasmed and jerked against him, unsteady, out of rhythm, her body reeling with the shock of orgasm, her vision blooming with impossible colors. She sounded like a woman drowned as she gasped for breath and felt like she couldn’t catch it, couldn’t find traction to hold onto him with her wet hands and feet, couldn’t re-solidy around the steady thrust of him into her humming core.  

He must not have realized it because he didn’t ask if she’d cum and she didn’t volunteer the information and he didn’t stop. He wasn’t done and she didn’t want to be done either, she wanted more. It was just the prelude, she understood from her body. She’d never been a two-time kind of girl but she was lost in him right now, wrapped up in this impossible scenario being fucked by JK in her brand new pool, and she’d hide a dozen orgasms before she asked him to stop.

At first when he moved she feared he’d realized and was stopping before she’d got to see him cum.

“Don’t step,” she begged.

“I’m not stopping, don’t want to drop you,” he panted out. Her disappointment was short lived when he sat his bare ass on the side of the pool, her bundled in his lap, his hands now free to roam her body as she took over and rode him hard enough she could hear the softest whine in his breath. The angle of his cock was just as good here, when she tilted her right hip just a little it made her see stars with such strong pleasure that she lost the rhythm just as he was synchronizing his pulls with her. Their bodies were slippery, she couldn’t get the right angle and rhythm back and so just sank down on him deep, as deep as she could take him, and gyrated. It was the perfect moment to catch her breath. Her hands slid up and down his body, finally free to touch the muscles she’d worked so hard not to notice before. She kissed his mouth and chin and his ear and was rewarded with him briefly holding her still, panting against her neck, hands clenching against her skin. She thought he was cumming 

He grunted some series of words she couldn’t understand, completely incoherent. She decided to be bratty and bit his ear as she jerked herself harder down on him. He pulled her off and slid back onto the steps of the pool, which she thought might be a punishment, but instead he gripped the twisted drenched fabric of her skirt and used it to drag her to the edge. She would have liked to see the water lapping at his ass, it wasn’t fair he had his cock out in her pool and she couldn’t really see but he wouldn’t stop kissing her and she wouldn’t stop it either.

“Your legs go so wide,” he grinned against her mouth, pushing them further and dragging her closer to the edge as he shoved his cock back into place. 

“Yoga.”

“Fucking yoga,” he groaned, leaning his weight onto his hands behind her and pressed deep. The angle was a little awkward but she loved the bulk and surround of him, the way his muscles flexed to support his own weight over her, the way his hair dripped water down onto her heated skin. She pushed herself closer to the edge to fix the angle. Groans rose from deep in her throat when he dragged her even closer by that damn sexy wet fabric, so close to the edge she thought she was going to slide right into the pool, held at bay only by his hips pressing against her, his cock pressing her to safety. 

His hands hooked under her knees, holding her wide; she caught herself with her hands to keep from falling backwards and his eyes dropped immediately to her tits, now pressed towards him. The slight distance gave her an eyeful too, of his tanned torso, taught muscles, the thatch of hair above his cock as pumped inot her.  He was so hot, every muscle of his body flexing, his lips pursing with the effort. 

“Oh god,” she murmured, feeling her body pull in tight around that thick intrusion. No, this was worse than before –worse in a good way– because now he had the leverage and freedom he had not had when trying not to drop her. Hard, hard, fast, so fast her breath hiccuped in her chest and her mind spun circles and she dug her nails into his shoulders to hold herself in place because it was the only help she could offer for her own undoing as her feet bounced in the air and the water churned around his thighs.

Suddenly he pushed her back onto the concrete and crawled over her, her knees still over his arms which slid down to cradle her, folding her, leaving her helpless beneath the frantic drive of his cock.

“Oh god, JK–”

“Yeah, pretty girl, scream, let me hear you cum,” he panted against her hair and she didn’t even mean to unleash it but it snuck out anyway as his relentless thrusts shoved her headlong into a second orgasm. She jerked and twisted beneath him but he held her in place, driving in faster, she thought, sloppier, until his stern expression crumpled.

He yanked out of her grasp and out of her body and stretched to the side to pump himself, cum shooting across the edge of the pool, then dribbling down onto his thigh. Without a thought in her head and barely any air in her chest, Grace reached out to smear her hand across the mess on his leg, her other hand gently rubbing her own clit to soothe herself back together. 

“Are you still–” he started and slid his hand underneath hers to take over the task.

She twitched and flinched and gasped, “No, soft, soft, I’m… I’m done, I… I…” His hand slowed, brushing gentle and slower circles over her clit until he was still, such an intimate and soothing hold. She relaxed completely, boneless. His eyelids seemed heavy above his smile as he flopped onto his back with a satisfied groan, spent dick draped across his hip. She curled more modestly onto her side and waited for the heady rush to settle so she could think straight. She didn’t think she could even sit up just yet.

For several minutes they just lay there. Slowly she returned to the silence of the neighborhood, to the distant sound of cars, to the bubbling of the filter in the pool.

She ought to say something. She felt like she should. 

“That was…” she tried.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

“Amazing.”

“Fucking amazing,” he said. Their sentences were all twisted up and they shared a chuckle. “It’s harder to fuck in the pool than you realize.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. 

“Easier if you wanted to be fucked slow but you wanted to be fucked, right?”

“I did.”

“So I was determined,” he said with a chuckle. “You asked so nicely.”

She shoved his head playfully but he caught her hand and deposited it on his chest. It was uncomfortable on the concrete though –rough, hard, hot, all sorts of things Grace had been oblivious to when letting JK screw her on it. Slowly she sat up, arms crossed over her naked chest as she looked around the yard. She had no idea if neighbors could hear or see them. And he was still so naked, sunning himself on the side of her pool, his feet in the water, full gorgeous body on total display.

In admiring him though, she saw too now the bloody scraped knees and one of his shins. His elbow too, one arm draped lazily over his forehead.

“Oh my god, you’re bleeding!” That was easier to comprehend than that JK had just fucked her through two orgasms in her pool.

“Huh? Oh, just my knees? Yeah, it’s fine. You’re not scraped up are you? I tried to keep you off the concrete–”

“I’m so sorry–”

“Clearly didn’t bother me,” he grinned at her. “I’m cool with a little pain mixed in.” She stared at his face, startled, stunned this had happened, and torn between that shock and the desire to slide up against him again and kiss more. He’d protected her from the concrete even while fucking?! Her bar for guys might be low, but that was incredibly sweet.

“Can I get you the first aid kit and an ice pack or–”

“Nah, it’s fine. Seriously, I’m a surfer, I’m always roughed up for way less satisfying reasons than… that.” He pushed himself up to standing, showing off a muscular ass which she denied the unbearable urge to slap as he untwisted his shorts and wrestled them on. It prodded her into motion: adjusting her skirt, tidying her hair. Her blouse was too tangled so she only clasped her bra back into place and looked down at herself and failed not to giggle.

He held his hand out to help her to her wobbly legs and laughed when she actually did teeter and had to grab onto his arms.

“Damn,” he beamed.

“Don’t get cocky.”

“Kinda think you like me cocky.”

“Bully,” she glared but couldn’t sustain even the pretense of it for long. She felt relaxed. At peace. Heavy and lazy and all kinds of wonderful things. This morning was a hundred years away. She wanted nothing in the world except a nap. 

He’d been watching her face and when she looked away with embarrassment at whatever dumb emotion was to be found there, he just playfully tugged the strap of her bra. 

“Well…” he drawled. “If you have no other questions or concerns about your pool… I really hate to fuck and run but…”

“Oh my god, seriously?” she laughed.

“I have three more pools to clean today…”

“What! JK,” she cried and laughed and gave him a playful shove. “Oh my god, you’re still on the clock… why didn’t you…” The look he gave her was answer enough. He wasn’t going to say no to pre-lunch sex when it fell into his lap. When the woman begged for it the way she’d done. 

“Where’s my shirt…” he murmured and found it and wrung it out over the pool before dragging it down. She saw some scratches and rubbed pink skin. It was a crime to put his shirt back on and cover all that delicious warm skin. 

He grabbed his bucket from the corner and she just watched as he scooped up some water and dumped it over the puddle of his cum. He gave her a playful grimace about it, then laughed at himself and ran his hand through his hair.

“Well, uh. Hope that was satisfactory.”

“It was.”

“Hope your day goes better,” he said. Grace wondered if he was waiting for her to say something. She had no clue what to say. If she said a single word, it would break the magic of this and she’d discover she had just slipped and hit her head in the shower and dreamed this whole thing up. She’d say something stupid and ruin whatever illusion she had cast to get JK to bang her on a Tuesday morning. She wanted to just savor this satisfied feeling.

Damn, she needed to buy some lounge chairs to sink into beside the pool. There was nothing, she had to just untangle her blouse and retrieve her underwear as he hopped into his truck. She waved as he turned around in her driveway and headed out. but didn’t see if he noticed or waved back. 

Instead she had to stupidly gather her things from the garage floor so she could get her house key to even get inside, where the air condition made her teeth chatter. Despite being soaked, she sank down on the living room couch and pulled the throw blanket around herself because she still didn’t quite feel like she’d come down from the high and she just needed a moment more to catch her breath because her knees were still knocking together.

Damn. 

Chapter Five | Masterlist | Chapter Seven

[midnightsunnyday]

Whips, Cuffs, And Edible Thongs? (Final) '*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'

Part One

Warnings: obviously NSFW and MDNI. Mentions of various kinks, sex toys, and cursing. MC is in a polyamorous relationship with all the brothers btw. Definitely a crack headcanon.

Belphegor, holding up a large, biologically improbable dildo: hey MC, you should buy this.

MC: Absolutely not.

Mammon, holding up a pink studded collar: Yo MC, you ever tried...something like this?

MC: Well, it is cute, but I'm not so sure it's my style.

Belphegor: hey MC, you should buy this.

MC: Uh, I'm pretty sure human organs can't stretch that far.

Belphegor: Not with that attitude.

Mammon: What the heck even is that thing, anyway?

Mynx: That's the Orfficinator 2000. For those with more...extreme tastes. Revs 850 thrusts per minutes with 15 different vibration settings. And at a whoping 12 inches in length and 5.5 in width. It'll turn even the most adamant of lovers into a weeping, begging mess.

Belphegor: a begging mess, huh?

MC: I think I felt my insides clench.

----‐-------

MC: You know, Satan. Even I think this cat obsession is going a bit too far.

Satan: What? I'm only observing it *poke*

Mynx: That's the Kitty Whisperer. Very popular with the ladies. Comes in both pink and purple.

Satan: So I see.

Mynx: But you know, not everyone who buys it is a lady, if you catch my drift.

Satan: Is...that right?

Mynx: ...

Satan: ...

MC: Really?

Satan: *blushing madly* Just let me be, alright?

---------------

MC: So...um...what kinda stuff are you guys into?

Mammon: Stuff?

MC: you know, like...kinks?

Beelzebub: oh, those? Sometimes I get them when I don't properly stretch before a workout.

Belphegor: Not those kinds of kinks, Beel.

Asmodeus: well, I don't mind sharing mine. Frankly, there are just so many to choose from. Spanking, overstimulation, bondage, wax play. Now for the more extreme ones--

Leviathan: --Enough! Enough! Otherwise, I think I might be scared for life.

Asmodeus: ok then, Levi. How about you tell us your kinks?

Leviathan: uh...reverse Uno.

Asmodeus: We're not playing Uno. Besides, then it'll just go back to me and you know what that means?

Leviathan: ah! Then it was Mammon by the bondage gear holding a pair of handcuffs!

Mammon: hey!

Satan: No need to say it, Mammon. After all, we already know the answer.

Manmon: I got no idea what you're talking about.

Leviathan: please. I bet you want MC to buy that collar you showed them so they can put it on you.

Mammon: Whhaaaat? Pfft. No.

Leviathan: Liar.

Mammon: So then what about you Mr. "I like it when you yell at me and call me worthless?"

Leviathan: I can't help it ok? It's very stimulating.

Mammon: Fine. I'll tell. I ain't chicken! So um...you know how you're getting dressed and you accidently pull your tie a little too tight--

Leviathan: --no one does that--

Mammon: --Let me finish, you ass! Anyway, it's kinda like that. So...yeah.

Satan: Interesting.

Mammon: Alright then. Tell us some of yours.

Satan: *clears throat* I'm not really...into extreme things. Or things that hurt. So, vanilla. Definitely.

Mammon: Huh. Coulda fooled me.

Asmodeus: how about you, Belphie?

Belphegor, smiles darkly: You sure you wanna know?

Satan: Why does that sound so threatening?

Beelzebub: Hmmm. Can food be kinks?

Asmodeus: Oh, you sweet summer child.

Leviathan: Maybe we should just skip on to MC.

MC: Eh. I don't know if I should share. It's kind of... intense.

Asmodeus: go on darling. This is a judgement free zone.

Beelzebub: Asmo's right. Craving and engaging in physical intimacy should not bring shame or discomfort, but breathe life and newfound sexual expression into those who practice safely and with consent.

*stunned silence*

Beelzebub: What? You know, gluttony is no further from lust as it is to greed. You should really learn your sins.

Belphegor: yeah, learn your sins.

MC: Well...sometimes I like to imagine standing over a powerful man and telling him how worthless and pathetic he is. How despite his power, he's at my feet, where he belongs. Then as he begs me to ride him, I'll laugh in his face as he watches me pleasure myself, saying he'll never be able to satisfy me better than my own hand, his erection weeping and painful. Then when I'm done, I'll push him onto his back and grind against him, denying him over and over until he's crying for release. But there will be no release. Not until his master, me, is satisfied *clears throat* So essentially, I really like the thought of being a dom.

*further stunned silence*

Belphegor: ...God, I'd let you destroy me.

MC: I know you would.

------------

Mynx: Can one of you please stop your brother from eating all my edible undies and oils? I've tried hitting him with my pipe, but it's like a love tap to this man!

Satan: Beel, the point of those is to eat them off your partner, not eat them yourself.

Beelzebub: I...don't think I trust myself doing that. I might get...too excited.

Mammon: Oof. That's an ugly picture.

Mynx: Yep. A big boy like that would definitely eat more than his fair share.

Asmodeus: Oh wow, these lollipops are shaped like a--

Beelzebub: *crunch* mmmm. They have a creamy center.

Asmodeus: ...

Beelzebub: What?

------------

Mammon, dressed in a sexy cop uniform: alright, Belphie, its the end of the line!

Leviathan, dressed as an equally sexy cop: that's right, punk! You're going away for a long time.

Belphegor, somehow talked into this and wearing a skimpy prison outfit: you pigs ain't got nothing on me! Nothing I say!

Mammon: Your partner spilled the beans, Belphie. You're looking at 40-80 years tops.

Leviathan: Now, hands where we can see em! Or this might get messy.

*Belphie, holding the Orfficinator 2000*

Mammon: He's got an automatic!

Belphegor: I'm not going back to jail!

Leviathan: Take the fucking shot!

Mynx: WILL YOU IDIOTS QUIT PLAYING WITH MY MERCHANDISE?

--------------

MC: *Places item on register*

Everyone: Ooooh.

MC: *Places another item on register*

Everyone: Aaaah.

MC: *yet another item*

Everyone: Woah!

MC: You guys are way too dramatic.

Satan: *Places item on counter*

MC: Oh. Good for you, Satan.

Satan: Enough.

----------------

Mynx: Thanks, hun. It was a pleasure doing business with ya.

MC: Thanks, Mynx. Actually, you made this whole thing a lot easier.

Mynx: It's what I do. Come back any time. Alone, preferably.

MC: Will do. Or at least will attempt to.

Asmodeus: bye, Mynxie.

Mynx: just so you all know, I'm still considering banning you all from my store.

-------------

Lucifer: There you all are. I was wondering why the house was so quiet. I was enjoying it, actually. Though I suppose nothing good lasts long.

MC: Love you too, Lucifer.

Satan: Debatable. And anyway, why are you even here?

Lucifer: You mean why am I here in the house that I pay for you to eat, sleep, and run amok through? Reading, obviously.

MC: What Satan means is--calm down, dear--aren't you suppose to be at Diavolo's fancy party?

Lucifer: Right, that. Unfortunately, the party ended abruptly when one of the Little Ds accidently set fire to King Idaman's robes.

MC: Oh.

Lucifer: Which in turn startled Prince Isa's horse, which caused a chain reaction and set everything else ablaze. It was truly a sight.

Mammon: Sounds like it all right.

Lucifer: after having to clean up such a mess, I found it best to call it a night.  So, what did you all do today? I see bags.

Beelzebub: We went to Cl--ow! I mean, we went close by.

Lucifer: Is that right?

Leviathan: Yep. We bought...all the things that shops tend to have.

Lucifer: I would assume so, yes.

Asmodeus: And now we're going to take those things to our rooms, isn't that right, Satan?

Satan: oh, yes, our rooms. Where we have nothing of interest at all.

Everyone: *runs off*

Lucifer: well, that was weird. Oh, and MC. May I have a moment?

MC: Sure.

Lucifer: a little bat told me that you all had quite the experience today.

MC: How...how is it that you know everything?

Lucifer: *laughs* it isn't complicated considering you all are horrible at hiding things, like just now. Though more importantly...*leans in closer* Devildom toys aren't exactly made for humans. You could hurt yourself.  In fact, I may need to...teach you how to properly use them. For safety reasons, naturally.

MC: is that right?

Lucifer: it is.

MC: ...

Lucifer: ...

MC: ...so...how soon are you available?

[eastberlin]

Anxiety, thy name is having your father help you pack + move and not knowing where your vibrator is except that it's probably in the worst possible place.

[everlasting-stories]

To Feel Again [M]

Genre: light angst, romance

Warnings[!]: smut, penetration, creampie, unprotected sex, mentions of adult toys

Pairing: Doyoung x Reader

Words: 4.4k / One-shot

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Valentine's Day: the day of roses and hearts and chocolates and romantic candlelit dinners. When people proposed marriage and professed undying love.

You sighed, staring unseeing into your bowl of cornflakes as they succumbed to their milky grave and turned to soggy goop. Funny how a date on a calendar could open the pit of despair that lived somewhere near your stomach. It had to be near your stomach. You've been reasonably hungry until you've noticed the date and the pit opened. Your hunger had fallen into it, and the memories and pain rose out of it.

There was a time when this day had been wonderful. Life had been wonderful, you didn't need Valentine's Day, but you celebrated it with reverence and, sometimes, wild abandon.

You knew what love was, what it felt like to love a man and how it felt to lose him. You remembered what he'd said that last morning, how he'd kissed you; how the sun had lit his face as he smiled, promising he'd be back. You also remembered the police, how the sun seemed to dim as they told you the phrases out of courtesy. They were sorry for your loss. They will let you know of details as soon as the investigation on the accident comes to an end.

Since that time, Valentine's Day had passed unheralded, unheeded and uncelebrated. You knew you were a joke of the office - entering thirties soon and never been fucked, that's what they said. The borning woman who had no idea what fun was, wouldn't have known what to do with a man if by some miracle you did catch the attention of one. They were wrong, of course. Not that it was any of their business; it certainly didn't affect your ability to do your job.

If you chose to act and dress your age and spend your evenings quietly, rather than as mutton dressed as lamb in some gaudy nightclub, surely that was your right?

You sighed again, getting up from the table, taking your cereal bowl and dumping the gloop down the sink. A bleak day of petty jibes and pitying looks lay ahead. At least you knew what to expect this year.

Last year had been your first Valentine's Day with this particular company and, therefore, your first with this particular bunch of malicious people - your fellow employees. As front counter receptionist, you were the company's first "public face" and some of your co-workers had decided it didn't look good if that face wasn't surrounded by gifts from admirers on this day.

When the first bunch of anonymous flowers had arrived, you've been flustered, flattered and flabbergasted that anyone would send you flowers. You had hurriedly cleared a space on the counter for them, proudly displaying them, fussing with them to show them off at their best and make them visible from the greatest distance. You kept touching them, moving them slightly, reaffirming they were really there. Your heart sang; someone had noticed you. Maybe he was too shy to reveal himself; maybe he was married and couldn't: your mind was alive with questions, trying to solve the mystery of their origin. You were all in all happy.

Then a large box of chocolates arrived, closely followed by more flowers. By lunchtime, these had been joined by a little plush cherub, two red plush love hearts, a pair of earrings, three more bunches of flowers, four assorted boxes of chocolates and a large jar of candy hearts. They all carried the same anonymous message. And you knew then and there what is the catch behind this.

By the end of the day there were nine flower arrangements, ten boxes of chocolates, three cherubs, the two red love hearts, three teddy bears, two jars of candy, the earrings and a gift box containing four pairs of edible undies. Just before the close of business the final humiliation came - a fantastically wrapped see through box containing an inflatable male doll with vibrating tongue, a massive purple vibrating dildo and a copy of the Sex for The Beginners book.

You had to stay at your post until the last visitor or client left. But the rest of the staff was already heading out of the building. Some boggled at your desk, some snickered, a couple made loud crass comments and a very few had appeared horrified at the pile of stuff surrounding yourself. The building had almost emptied before that last visitor departed. You were sure that, too, was a set-up, particularly when you saw it was the client that had been visiting quite frequently lately.

Myungsoo ushered the man to the street and turned back to you as you gathered your coat and handbag, ready to escape.

"Gee, you're a popular girl. Who would have thought?" He reached your counter and began collecting up the flowers, grinning madly. "Let me help you with all that."

Before you could say a word, he bundled all the flowers, chocolates and assorted other items into your arms. You could barely see where you were going. Myungsoo put his arm around your back and shepherded you out the door, peeking at the vibrator in its transparent box. "There you go, sweetheart. Looks like you're definitely gonna get some action tonight." He turned smartly away, laughing as he rapidly put distance between the two of you.

You obviously had thrown the whole lot in the nearest dumpster and hurried to the relative sanctuary of your car before breaking down and sobbing, burying your head in your hands to hide from prying eyes of curious passer-bys.

Standing at your kitchen sink, you wondered what they'd pull this year. It couldn't be worse, could it? You sighed again and then abruptly shook your head, standing straighter. To hell with it - you were not going to let them get to you today.

It had already begun when you arrived. A bouquet of irises sat at the front of the counter. You were tempted to throw them straight in the garbage, but decided they were too pretty, too unusual. So they stayed. Curiosity got the better of you as you looked at the card, expecting it to say something sappy and insincere, as last year's cards had.

"You are worth far more than they will ever realise. Hear the flowers."

You pondered the card. Hear the flowers?

What on earth did that mean? You raised an eyebrow as you settled into your post: at least it seemed this year would be more intriguing than last. During quiet moments throughout the morning, you'd pick up the card, reread the cryptic message and study the beautiful bouquet, but its secret was never revealed.

No gifts arrived for you, no more flowers. You were relieved, but it only served to deepen the mystery of the flowers. As your lunch hour approached, other staff began filtering out of their offices to take a break. They all noticed the irises. Several of the women stopped and commented on their beauty. No one laughed.

As always, you left the building for lunch. You would usually grab a sandwich somewhere and do a bit of window shopping. Anything to get away for an hour - if you stayed in the office, someone always "needed" you for something.

When you returned, a neatly typed page was on your desk: "The meaning of flowers". One line was highlighted in blue: "Iris: Have Faith. Don't Give Up On Hope." A single purple violet was pinned to the page. You scanned the page to find "Violet (Purple): You occupy my thoughts". You put the page to one side, but still in view, unsure whether to laugh at it and throw it along with the flowers away before the punch line or wait it out. This was definitely a far more sophisticated assault than last year.

Throughout the afternoon a steady procession of couriers arrived, carrying flowers and gifts. You nervously watched each one approach your counter, only to breathe a sigh of relief as the teddy bears and hearts, the chocolates and flowers were all destined for other souls.

At 4:30PM a man approached your station: nothing unusual in that; everyone that came to see someone had to check in with you. What was unusual was that he actually saw you as a fellow human, not a robot programmed to take names and give directions. He smiled at you, a real smile that reached his eyes and warmed your heart. Something familiar in his eyes...

"Good afternoon. My name is Kim Doyoung. I have an appointment to speak to Choi Myungsoo. Would you mind letting him know I am here, please?"

Quickly, you dialled Myungsoo's extension, giving him the information. Myungsoo, as usual was brusque to the point of rude, telling you to "entertain the idiot 'till I'm ready for him - he's not supposed to be here for another 15 minutes".

You were tempted to tell the polite gentleman exactly what Myungsoo had said, but instead used your tact and diplomacy (that was why you were hired after all) to tell him that "Mr. Choi is a little delayed. He will be available in a few minutes."

With that being said, you offered him a seat.

Again he smiled. "Those are beautiful flowers," he said, nodding towards the iris bouquet. "A discerning choice for a lovely lady."

You lowered your eyes, feeling the heat rise in your face, knowing you were blushing.

His voice softened and became much quieter. "You don't remember me, do you?" Your eyes flew to his face, confused. Were you supposed to know this charming man?

"I had an appointment here at the same time, on this day last year. I was waiting outside for a taxi when you left. That was uncalled for, the whole situation that happened - mean and heartless and exactly what I would expect of Myungsoo and his friends. I deal with them only because I must. They offer a service unparalleled in this town."

He leaned across the counter, his voice so low only you could hear. "How they manage it, I cannot tell. They are pig swill and don't know a pearl when confronted with one." Doyoung paused, seeming to weigh up his next statement, then leaned closer to you. "Did you hear the flowers?"

Your eyes again flew to his face, your mouth falling open a little. "You sent them?"

"I did. And the violet. I had hoped to counter whatever crass display they had planned this year. Would you possibly consider spending the evening with me?" His face was eager, hopeful. "A nice dinner?"

You were stunned, flattered, amazed - but also wary. This was Myungsoo's client. He could easily have been put up to this. You studied his face closely, seeking any hint of a lurking cad. His face fell. "But, of course, you have other plans. I apologise for embarrassing you." He moved away and sat, abashed, on one of the hideous lounge chairs to await his appointment.

You studied this man. He didn't seem to fit the mould of Myungsoo's usual cohorts. For one thing he was unerringly polite. He was also good looking, very, very good looking, without being outstanding or flashy. He was also much closer to your age than Myungsoo's and had an air of quiet confidence, like he had nothing to prove to anyone and nothing to fear from them either. You looked at the flowers. Could Myungsoo have possibly thought of something this elegant? You didn't think so. You took a deep breath: to hell with it.

"Mr. Kim?" He looked up. "What time would you like to pick me up?"

In your bedroom, staring at the clothes hanging limply in your closet, the cool bravado that had claimed you as you agreed to the date vanished. In its place indecision, doubt and outright terror took hold. It seemed painfully obvious to you now, away from the office and that lovely man, that it was all another twisted joke, something for the office beautiful people to laugh at during tomorrow's coffee breaks. Why did you say yes? Your wardrobe was woefully inadequate. It was years since you'd been out with a man; you were bound to make a fool of yourself, even if it wasn't a set-up.

At that thought your heart jumped and lurched. The possibility that Mr. Kim - no, Doyoung; this was a date not a business appointment - was sincere in his wish to take you out only heightened your confusion and indecision.

Finally, in desperation and the realisation that if you didn't decide soon, you'd still be in your underwear when he arrived; you chose a chanel-knee length cremé skirt and baby pink cashmere sweater, topped off with knee length boots. The heels were quite high, but you remembered him being tall, so that wouldn't be an issue, as long as you didn't fall over in them.

You were saved from an overcritical examination in the mirror. You had just completed applying your makeup when Doyoung arrived. You grabbed your coat and quickly walked out the door, before you had time to rethink and back out.

"You look lovely," Doyoung said, smiling down at you. Feeling the heat creeping up your cheeks; you weren't used to receiving compliments, particularly from someone like him. You mumbled a shy thanks as he helped you put on your coat and led you to his car.

Sitting in the car as he drove, you were able to study the mysterious man that is Kim Doyoung. He was extremely handsome, not in the classical sense, but he certainly was far from a plain looking man - a man at peace with himself. He knew who he was and was content with that; he knew what he wanted and how to get it; and what was beyond his capabilities and lost no sleep over it. He obviously managed quite well; his car was expensive but not too flashy.

The restaurant he took you too was a quiet small place, away from the standard eat-and-entertain strip. It was intimate without claustrophobia; the decor was elegant without being overbearing; the lighting low but not dim; the service attentive without being intrusive. The food you could not describe - later, you barely remembered what you had eaten beyond it being "nice" - your attention was totally taken by Doyoung.

He was gallant and charming; helping you with your coat and holding your chair for you at the intimate table for two tucked away in a corner. Doyoung quietly suggested items on the menu he thought you might like. It was obvious he'd been here before, was a regular, but usually without company. His choice of wine was perfect to go with the excellent food as you enjoyed each other's company.

And you talked.

You learned a lot about him. Doyoung was 34, older than you had thought; he had been engaged, but his fiancé decided to break off the engagement for simply falling out of love. He had had a series of short term relationships that had petered out and, for the past several years, had lived a solitary life, rarely going out with women. He didn't work as such; his livelihood came from investments, which explained him being a client of the company you worked in. Myungsoo may be a jerk, but he was the one of the best investment brokers around.

He had been attracted to you the first time he met you, a year ago, but had been intimidated by the evidence of all your admirers. When he realised it was all a cruel joke played by his adviser and the other brokers, he was mortified. He had seriously considered changing brokers, going to another organisation but that would have meant he had no chance of meeting you again. So he stayed. He had been in your office on three occasions since then, and each time had seen your quiet, unflappable charm and how your talent and lovely nature were either ignored or taken for granted by those around you. He was determined to gain your attention, but without the office cricus freaks being able to use it against you, hence the mystery flower delivery this morning.

You found yourself opening up to Doyoung. He seemed sincerely interested in hearing what you had to say, hanging on your every word. It was a liberating and wonderfully powerful feeling. You weren't used to being the centre of anyone's attention. You told him of your pride at the independence since the loss of your lover, all those years ago. You were happy in your little home, content with your work, rarely coming to the attention of the office jokers.

It was over coffee that you admitted to Doyoung something you haven't admitted to yourself: your life was lonely and you missed the affection of another person. You missed the companionship of sharing your life with someone.

Immediately after the words had left your lips you regretted them. You have given away too much of yourself, been too forward. You lowered your eyes, not wanting to see the closed expression you knew would be on his face, so you didn't see the fleeting look of pain, quickly followed by understanding and hope.

However, you did feel his hand close over yours and squeeze lightly. You looked up into a face of gentle eyes and soft smile. "Would you like to take a walk with me," he said quietly. "I think it's time we leave - they want to close the restaurant anyway."

You looked around yourself noticing that you two were the only people other than staff left in the restaurant, and many of the lights were dimmed. You gasped in wonder - you had no idea you've been there so long. "Yes, a walk would be lovely."

Doyoung ushered you along the street and across a small, neat park to a promenade along the riverbank. It was enough lit to feel safe and you walked along arm in arm. You felt his arm snake around your waist hugging you closer to him, and you snuggled against him, your arm around his back. The moon was up, the stars were out and the night was peaceful and clear.

Your heart was singing and your eyes sparkled. You've been right to take this gamble. He was sincere, and it was wonderful. But the night was late, and it was rather cold.

You shivered. Doyoung felt it immediately and turned off the promenade proposing to head back toward the street where he had left the car. "I'd better take you home. It wouldn't be much of a date if you ended up ill."

At your door, Doyoung formally thanked you for a lovely evening and asked if he could see you again. You smiled and surprised yourself only a little by reaching up and kissing him lightly on the lips before saying: "Would you like to come in for a nightcap?"

Doyoung blinked, looking mildly bemused for a moment before studying your face. "Are you sure?"

Oh, most definitely, you were sure. You have thought of nothing else since you two have left the river. He looked right, he felt right, and he smelt right. You wanted him but was sure he'd never make a move. He was too much of a gentleman to ever force the issue.

You took his hand and led him into your home, kicking the door closed with your foot, shutting out the rest of the world with its mean people and ugly attitudes. You reached up to kiss him again. This time he lowered his head to yours, cradling your face in his hands as he returned the kiss. The lips met and parted, allowing the tongues to join and caress each other. His hands moved down from your face to caress your body, yours moving up from his hips. Both of you parted, searching each other's faces for confirmation of your desires.

"I think we're on the same page," you said. "Why don't you leave your coat on the couch? Do you want the nightcap now, or after the tour?"

"I'll put a hold on the nightcap," Doyoung answered, reading the desire in your eyes and knowing it was mirrored in his while stripping off the coat.

"Right."

You took his hand again. "This is the lounge. There," you pointed to the right, "is the kitchen and dining room. This way," pulling him down the hall, "is the second bedroom, the bathroom and," dragging him through a doorway, "here is the main bedroom."

"Very nice," he said, looking around, trying not to focus on the bed.

Suddenly shy, you both looked at anything but each other, awkward in a lack of intimate knowledge of each other. Doyoung tentatively reached out a hand to you, aiming to caress your breast, veering off at the last moment to your shoulder, but still lightly brushing your breast with his fingertips. Your gasped breath emboldened him and he reached his other hand, caressing your other breast lightly as you shivered under his touch and sighed.

Your own hands went to his chest, running down the front of his shirt and back up, then beginning to undo the buttons, pulling the shirt from his trousers and teasing his bare skin with your fingers.

Doyoung pulled his shirt off and then raised the sweater over your head and off the arms, moving in to kiss you as his hands went around your back to undo the clasps of a bra and returned to cup your breasts. The sensation on your breasts as he caressed and pinched the nipples sent a sharp message straight between your legs. You could feel yourself becoming moist and shuddered under his touch; breath becoming uneven.

Pushing him away you removed the skirt, letting it pool at your feet while looking into his eyes. Doyoung took the hint and began unbuckling his belt, then grinned foolishly and sat beside you to take off his socks, sneaking kisses of your neck and shoulders as he did so. You both stood again, slightly apart. He dropped his trousers and you could see his briefs pushed out of shape by his erection, the fabric straining.

Doyoung stepped up, taking you in his arms, kissing down your neck and across the collarbone, his hands lowering to your hips, sliding under the elastic and beginning to tug your panties down. Your own hands flew to the top of his briefs. Together, you pulled down the underwear, stepping out of them and standing naked before each other. Again Doyoung moved first, holding you and gently pushing backwards onto the bed, following after you onto it.

He ran one hand down the body of yours, teasing and tickling the beginning of your womanhood and beyond, teasing you with his fingers, tickling across your mound and easing around your damp centre. You moaned as he explored, your hips twisting and twitching. It had been so long since another man had touched you there. It felt amazing, wonderful, but achingly short of what you needed. You could feel his hardness against your thigh. Reaching down, you took his cock into your hand. It was hot, hard and pulsed under your touch. Doyoung groaned and his hips jerked convulsively. You kissed him hard and whispered fiercely, "Please, it's been too long. I need you, now."

"For me too, far too long," Doyoung gasped back, rolling you onto your back and positioning himself before gently splitting your lips and sliding steadily but firmly into you. Your moans were prominent in the air as he stretched and filled you right, not stopping his steady thrust until he was wholly inside you, your warm walls gripping him tightly. Your eyes met and locked as you lay still, immersed in the feeling of each other's body.

Being warm, wet and a safe haven, you were engulfing his cock. Doyoung was filling you with his hard heat, owning your body completely. You fit each other perfectly; you could see it in each other's eyes. You belonged together.

As great as this feeling was, you needed more. Doyoung slowly withdrew, till only the very tip split you. Both groaning as he pushed back in, again slowly feeling each other with delectable inch. Slowly in and out, in and out, revelling in the feeling of each other's bodies, gradually building up speed as your need increased.

You could feel the fire building, the tension increasing as sensation on sensation smashed into you with each thrust, your body twitching, your hips writhing. Still it built; higher, tighter, fiercer. Your entire being was wrapped around Doyoung's cock as it pumped in and out of you. You could hear him grunting with each thrust, feel his body trembling as he got closer to his climax. His speed increased and you breath got caught in your throat, your back arched, legs went stiff as you began to twitch when the white light exploded through you, spreading warmth and scattering your senses.

You felt, from far away but deep within you, Doyoung losing his rhythm before coming, pumping wildly into you, grunting and thrusting hard one last time as he shot deep inside you feeling spent but overly fulfilled.

Your hand was making lazy circles on Doyoung's chest as you lay, curled against his side with a head on his shoulder. You weren't sure how you've come to be in this position, but it felt so right and he smelled so good.

You were at peace while drifting off to sleep.

Waking up without feeling body by your side, you immediately felt the loss. Doyoung wasn't there. Your heart dropped, the pit near your stomach threatened to open and engulf it. Sensing the tears coming up, you accidentally feel something on your side with a hand.

He wasn't there. But there was a note.

"I am so sorry. I hate to leave you, knowing you will wake alone. There is something I must do."

You had just finished reading when the phone rang, disturbing your thoughts. Grudgingly, you moved to answer it. "Hello."

"Wish I was still beside you."

Your heart flipped again. The pit dissolved so you could breathe again before whispering, "Doyoung."

"Y/N. Tell me, what are you planning for breakfast?"

"Uhm. Coffee? Maybe some toast. Why?"

"Don't move. I'm on my way. With breakfast. And it's better than toast."

You lay back in bed, listening to the dial tone after he hung up. Surprised, you smile softly. You must remember to thank Myungsoo for introducing them.

If this is how you will feel loved and feel free to love again, you have no complaints.

Your new chapter is about to begin and hopefully, it will last for a very long time with a man named Kim Doyoung.

[scuttling]

Sunday

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 2,041 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Sex toys, Multiple orgasms, Dom/sub, Vaginal fingering, Domestic fluff Summary: Sophie and Aaron spend a sweet Sunday together. Collection: Sophie Cortes timeline, 1 year 7 months - 2 years at the BAU Link to AO3 or read below! Sophie wakes up on a Sunday morning freaking thrilled it’s a Sunday morning. No sarcasm intended, it is easily her favorite day of the week for so many reasons.

She and Aaron sleep in (obviously amazing), stay in comfy clothes (no bra days are the best days), make breakfast (like Aaron’s famous cheesy scrambled eggs—they are cheesy scrambled eggs, but better just because he makes them), and clean up the apartment together (productive, and his butt is super cute when he vacuums), then act lazy all day, cuddled up on the couch watching tv, or reading, or sometimes going for a walk in the park when it’s just too beautiful to stay inside. So, yeah. It’s her favorite day by far.

And she wakes up on this particular Sunday happy, and sleepy, and she doesn’t realize at first that Aaron is lying behind her instead of in front of her, like he was when they fell asleep. That’s a little odd. Then she opens her eyes, and sees in his spot two of her favorite toys—a soft blue vibrator and a slim purple dildo, slightly thicker than one of his fingers—and suddenly she is wide awake and wondering what her gorgeous and innovative man has planned for them.

“What’s going on over here?” she murmurs, gesturing toward the toys, and Aaron pushes her hair away from her ear, kisses her there, then down her neck, slow and gentle.

“You slept late,” he says, running his arm up and down the sleeve of her sweater (well, his sweater, but she’s borrowing it), “and I had an idea.”

“Good thing I always love your ideas.” She turns to face him for a couple of kisses that turn into a slow, languid make out session, his hands skimming over her bare hip, up her back… it’s like heaven, soft, quiet, delicious Sunday morning heaven, and she forgets all about the toys and his idea until she hears the buzz of the vibrator. He kisses her again, then lays her on the bed, his hand wrapped around her beneath her back.

“Is this comfortable?” he asks, and she nods, touching his face just because it’s close and perfect. He guides one thigh to the side, so he can get between her legs better, and then touches the head of the vibrator to her clit, earning a shudder.

“Mmm. This is what you want?” He’s fine with using toys, more than fine, likes the ways they make her squirm that’s different from the other things they do, but what they’re doing now is so calm and unhurried compared to the norm that she just wants to make sure she’s following and not still half asleep or something. He smiles, soft.

“Yep. Just want you to lay there and look pretty and come, sweet girl.” She moans softly, because she can absolutely do that, especially with the way he slides the tip up and down her pussy, which is getting very wet despite the leisurely pace. There's something about having his arm around her, and the fact that she’s still tired and pliant, that makes this feel more like a hug—a good, warm, sexy hug—than anything, and she lets her eyes close, her head draped comfortably over the pillow. “You’re so beautiful. I love you.”

“I love you,” she breathes, and he guides the toy up to her clit, rubs over it slowly, gently, like he knows she likes. She feels so good, relaxed, happy, that it doesn’t take long at all for her to come; she shivers and hums her pleasure, shifting her hips up, and then it’s over and she opens her eyes, takes a moment to catch her breath. When she’s done, she pulls Aaron down for a long kiss, and he smiles against her lips.

“Perfect, baby. That’s exactly what I wanted to see.” He switches off the toy, shifts closer to her, and they kiss for several minutes before he pulls away, smoothing a hand over her cheek. “I want you to lay on your side, this time. Face the wall over there.” She licks her lips at this time, realizes there’s more in store, and she does as he says, turns so she’s stretched out on her side, and then waits for more direction.

With a gentle hand, he lifts her leg and stretches it across the mattress, so it would be flung over his body if he were laying on his side of the bed; then he grabs his pillow, puts it under that knee so it’s elevated, a little bit. He snakes a hand under her sweater and rubs over her stomach, her breasts, and then reaches for the dildo and presses it into her pussy; the first bit of pressure makes her gasp, the angle a little snug, and he gives her a moment before pushing it in the rest of the way, so the flared base rests against her skin. He presses down on it, and she shifts her hips, gets used to the feeling.

“Is this okay?” he checks, hand caressing her thigh, and she nods, hums. “Good girl. You’re giving daddy just what he wants this morning.” She groans a little at that, closes her eyes and rubs her face against the pillow, and he chuckles, turns the vibrator back on, and touches it to her clit. “Does it feel good to have something small in your little pussy? To not be full of my cock for a change?” Her eyes would probably roll back in her head if they weren’t closed, and she arches back against him for contact.

“Just feels different. I like both,” she answers truthfully, because this is nice, but having him inside is like a religious experience or something, and she wouldn’t trade it for the world. “Do you want me to move?”

“No, just snuggle up for me. I’ll take care of you.” I’ll take care of you is one of her most favorite phrases to hear him say, so she lays there, content, while he moves the toy slowly back and forth against her clit. Soft moans of pleasure fall from her lips, like when you take the first bite of a piece of cheesecake you’ve been thinking of all through dinner, and he buries his nose in her hair and sighs. “You are so perfect. Stunning. Obedient. Delicious.” She bites her bottom lip at the praise, and she can feel the hardness of his cock against her ass through the boxers he wears. “I love you like this. My two favorite Sophies: sleepy and horny.” That makes her huff a laugh.

“Not a fan of sneezy and grumpy?” she teases, and he laughs too, breath hot on her neck.

“I love every version of you, of course.” He moves the vibrator a little quicker, kisses her clothed shoulder, and she sighs. “But curled up in the sheets on a lazy day? You make me feel like I’m in heaven.”

“Aaron,” she breathes, rocks her hips because she has to, and he groans, nibbles at her ear.

“Sophie, baby.” She comes, squeezing around the dildo, moaning and gripping her own hair in her fingers, and she is out of breath, her body slack, so it feels like she is sinking against the bed. “So beautiful,” Aaron murmurs, and he squeezes her ass, rubs his hand over her hip and waist. He doesn’t take out the dildo, or turn off the vibrator, though, and after a moment, she whines.

“Your turn?” she asks, because he is so hot and hard against her, and he’s breathing heavily, and she wants to feel him. His initial response is to press his fingers against the base of the dildo and push it around, so it’s grinding against her; she can feel and hear how wet she is inside when he does, and they both groan.

“One more, baby, can you give me one more?” He moves her leg again, so her foot rests on her calf, and he doesn’t need to hold onto the vibrator anymore, because it’s pinned between her thigh and the bed, the head right where she needs it. “One more and then I’ll push inside and come. It won’t take me long, after watching you.” She hums and nods, can’t even lift her head from the pillow, she’s so spent, but willing to give him what he wants always. “My good girl. Daddy loves you,” he whispers, sliding his hand inside her sweater and grabbing her breast roughly, holding it in his hand. She gasps, shudders.

“Love you, daddy.” She begins moving her hips in earnest, working her clit against the vibrator, clenching around the dildo, and it feels good, but she’s not ready. She keeps it up for minutes, maybe even ten, but Aaron just pants and squeezes and grinds against her, lazy and unhurried.

“Does it feel good?” he asks, breathless, and she nods, swallows hard.

“Yes. It’s just too soon, I think.” She’s so slippery the vibrator slides out of place and she reaches down to fix it, holds it up with a couple of fingers.

“It’s okay, take your time. I’m right here.” He kisses the back of her neck, ruts against her slowly. “Do you want French toast for breakfast? I think we have everything.”

“Yum. Yes please,” she pants, grinding against the toys, pressing back against him. “And raspberries. They were good from the farmers market yesterday.”

“So good. Juicy,” he agrees, rolling his palm over her nipple, making her moan. “Are we almost done with The West Wing? ”

“We have like... four episodes left. I choose next.”

“Mmh, good. I’m always pleasantly surprised by what you pick.” He reaches his hand down, presses against the base of the dildo like he did earlier, and moves it a little rougher, moans when it makes a soft squish. “You’re soaked, sweet girl."

“I know,” she sighs, adjusting the vibrator so it’s pressing a little harder against her clit than she’d normally like, which feels... surprisingly good. “Maybe add a finger?”

“Fuck. Okay, yeah.” He pulls the dildo out a bit, slips a finger in alongside it, groans at the wetness. “My god, baby.”

“This was part of your plan, wasn’t it?” she huffs, teasing, and he bites at her shoulder, hums.

“Yes, but as always, you exceed my every expectation.” It becomes harder to ignore the pleasurable pulse of the vibrator, and she moans, a string of worn out, blissful sounds, rocks her hips a few more times until she is coming long and loud and powerful.

She is officially wrecked, and her pussy is still throbbing when he slides the dildo out, pushes down his underwear, and presses in; he only thrusts four times before he adds to her mess, spilling inside her, and they both collapse back against the bed, panting.

Absentmindedly, Sophie thinks it’s a good thing today is sheet change day.

She is halfway on top of him, laying on his arm, legs on his, and he turns her for a deep, sensual, heady kiss that makes her wonder if he has plans for more. She doesn’t think her body can take it.

“You are the only person I want to spend lazy Sundays with,” he says softly when the kiss tapers off, and she pushes a hand through his hair, smiles.

“Me too.” They kiss again, gentler, sweeter, and then she stretches with a groan. “I think it goes without saying that I need a shower immediately.”

“It does,” he agrees, sitting up with her. “You can hop in while I start breakfast.”

“Nah, I think I want you to join me.” She wraps her arms around his shoulders and pulls him close for another kiss. “No sexy touching though, or my heart and my pussy may both give out.”

“We don’t want that,” he says playfully, and when she hops off the bed, pulls off her sweater, and throws it in the hamper on the way to the bathroom, he follows.

They wash the sheets and vacuum and finish The West Wing. The raspberries are juicy, and the French toast is good, but not as good as Aaron’s famous eggs.

[curious-menace]

Hey can I get a headcanon of any riddler of your fancy finding his partners hidden treasure trove of sex toy goodies after stooping around their home, probably while they're out and how they'd react?

oh ho! any riddler?! this is a blank check for mayhem! 

i have naughty hands and no self control so ima do all my riddlers hahahah

this is only a lil ns fw so no below the cut this time 

Arkham riddler

oh.

OH.

First response is he goes BRIGHT RED. H-He was looking for something else, like an allen key or a pack of batteries or something! He didn't mean to snoop! He’ll throw all the toys back in the drawer or box and hurry away like nothing happened. he did find batteries but was to embarrassed to use them.

his face is going to be bright red for hours, you’ll easily be able to tell something is up but he wont tell you what.

but that being said, hes not going to be able to stop thinking about them. he feels a little naughty for doing it but hes imagining you using them, on him, on yourself. the idea is filthy to him but very intriguing.

Don't expect him to EVER mention it again but if YOU brought up the idea or told him you had some toys to play with, he’d have a hard time hiding his excitement. He hasn't stopped thinking about them since and he has some IDEAS. 

Blacklight Riddler

oh ho! rubbing his little fingerless gloved hands in glee. treasure trove is the right word to use, all his christmases have come at once when he finds this gold mine. 

He knew you were kinky but he had no idea you were THIS kinky, why would you keep this from him??? 

hes like a child in a candy store. what does this one do??? ohh this one vibrates! ooh a purple and green one, did you get this specially for him?

Don't be surprised if you come home and find him elbow deep in your drawer or box still rummaging and exploring, possibly with condoms scattered around him like confetti and bondage rope around his neck like a scarf. 

He’s going to ask right away to play with some of these. he might even sneak off to use them by himself but he will GLADLY let you do the hard work. 

He’s going to want to go to the sex toy shop with you. can you get some couples toys? will you peg him?? OH! what about some of those cool remote control toys??? he can make some custom ones for you both to use if you want! Man is going to be bouncing off the walls, you're going to need to get him to calm down before you can do anything. he’s enthusiastic to say the least.

BTAS Riddler

oh? what on earth is th-AGH! *flings a wobbly pink dick across the room in a panic*. Que overdramatics . lots of “my eyes are SOILED! MY HANDS WILL NEVER BE CLEAN AGAIN!” 

Will probably screech “WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THIS?!” into an empty house.

i think its the shock more than anything. he’s a germaphobe and he wasn't wearing his gloves while he was rummaging and he wasn't expecting to touch something so...intimate with his bare hands. this has ABSOLUTELY been inside you and it feels...off for him to touch it. He hopes to god you are as particular about cleaning these as you are about the rest of your cleaning.

once the initial fright wears off, he probably feels a bit guilty for nosing about. He wasn't looking for your intimates specifically, he was just being inquisitive, maybe looking for birthday or christmas presents. I think like arkham riddler, he’d probably be unable to get the image out of his head. he'd probably have to go back for another look. 

he has to work up the courage to talk about it. he’s probably expecting to get yelled at, he shouldn't have been rummaging through your things in the first place.he doesn't REALLY need to confront you about this. but he’s insecure as all hell and he needs to know, is he not good enough? is he not satisfying you? why do you need these toys if you have him? please be gentle in explaining, whatever your answer is. 

Original riddler

so freaking blase about the whole thing. you could leave them in the fridge or something and he’d be like “hmm, cheese, ham, dildo....hey y/n we’re nearly out of milk!” 

he doesn't exactly want dicks or fleshlights left out around his apartment but he’s not so insecure about you having them. he knows he cant be there for you 24/7. maybe your schedules are conflicting, maybe you just want some quite alone time, he’s not judging, he does it too.

might tease you a little about your taste in toys. like if you have massive dicks he’s going to call you a size queen, regardless of your gender. or if you like weird ones like that windmill oral thing he’s going to call you a kinky lil freak .

i don't think he has any of his own but he’d be quite happy to use yours on you if you wanted.

unlike the others, he probably respects your privacy enough to not go looking for them or even rummaging through your things. but he is childish as all hell. if you left them out in a shared space he’s going to mess around with them, like pretending to give you a neck massage only to bust out a hitachi wand or something.

despite his bravado and not really minding that you have them, his mouth will go a little dry if you bring up the idea of domming him by using them on him . that's....an intriguing idea. 

Telltale riddler 

well. hes not THRILLED about this discovery. But given how often he’s gone, either for work or running from the law, he cant exactly blame you. you have needs he’s clearly not meeting.

he’s pretty tempted to take your batteries away from you for badness. 

he gets a devious idea looking at your toys. He’s offended! how could you replace him with plastic and silicone?! he’s much better than any toy. guess he’ll just have to prove it to you. 

he’ll probably confront you as soon as you get home. something like “been keeping secrets from me?” but like. in a sexy voice, not an angry one. 

He’s obviously a little ticked off but tries to keep it playful. you can definitely expect him to spend the day making it up to you. he’s going to tease you, hes going to ask if you think of him while you use them , maybe even use some of them on you himself but pulling away at the last moment as punishment . if you want relief you’ll have to ask him nicely.

he’d be absolutely speechless if you flipped the script on him. listen he might be 60 but suddenly he’s a teenager again, embarrassed and unable to form coherent sentences in the face of your exuberant confidence. once he gets his footing back however you two are going to be playing hella games. he’s going to want to sext while he’s gone, send you naughty photos and get some back. maybe the toys aren't such a bad thing after all?

Zero year riddler

you’ll for sure know if this riddler has found your stash. you’ll come home and he’ll be drinking out of a dick shaped straw, wearing those dumb penis glasses you see at bachelorette parties. he’ll have decorated with rope or feather boas , taken polaroid photos of him posing with your toys and stuck them to the walls. he’ll have  a smug look on his face but play totally innocent like “something you wanna tell me, y/n?” Shame is not an emotion this riddler is capable of. 

he was looking through your things on purpose because he’s a nosy shit. He likes knowing your secrets to mess with you later. He wished he had a camera to record his reaction upon finding THIS secret.sheer unfiltered joy  .He’s for sure recording your reaction to him putting you on blast so you two can laugh about it later.

 he might feel a LITTLE guilty depending on your reaction. if you react badly or really embarrassed he might feel bad for crossing a line and apologise . He’s still a little shit about it but he’s an apologetic little shit. 

all of these riddlers pretend they're the most confident person in the room but , like the others, if you turn your charm and confidence on him, he’ll crumble like a dry sandcastle. 

He doesn't want to admit he has NO clue what any of these toys do. like why is this one shaped like an egg?...it goes WHERE?!

rare moment of nervousness from him if you ask him to use them on you/ on him. again, he doesn't know what the heck he’s doing with toys but he’ll be damned if he admits that. feel free to mess with him as payback. this is what he gets for running his mouth and poking his nose into other peoples business 

there you go nonnie! i actually got this one out pretty quickly, i wasnt expecting to do it that fast hah. i like doing asks like this, that are a little nsfw but not so much i have to hide them under a read more.

that being said, full nsfw asks are my jam XD

Got something you wana ask me? feel free to send me an ask or a dm! im always game to talk about our favorite curious menace 💚💜

[lemons3ason]

Lipstick

(Midnight x Fem! Reader)

Burgundy, such a beautiful shade of red, and against (skin/color) flesh it seemed even more rich in her bright blue hues. She pressed another kiss against her partner’s thigh watching as her body twitched from sensitivity. It drove her crazy watching the tied up woman withering beneath her and begging for more, “My sweet little (Y/n), you look so good with mommy’s cock inside of you. My cute little girl doesn’t it feel good come on say something.”, Nemuri purred seductively thrusting the vibrating toy deeper into your slick pussy. Your body jumped up as the toy rubbed against your gspot and you desperately tried to close your legs but the ropes kept you from moving even a finger. You moaned her name begging her for more attention, the burning feeling inside you was becoming unbearable and you didn’t know what to do. You were helpless to her.

You cried out her title, your mistress was very pleased and decorated your flushed cheek with yet another lipstick stain. Your whole body was covered in the color, your perky breasts, your gorgeous legs, your cute stomach, your neck too but there were also many red and purple hickies that covered it as well, and oh how she loved the marks that coated your cute pussy. Your inner thighs were littered in the creamy color, and the single kiss mark above the hood of your pussy was so sexy.

“Do you want me to fuck you honey? Come on tell me what you want, where do you want me to hurt you?”, she growled against your ear rubbing her swollen clit against your own to ease her growing urges.

“Please mistress please fuck me, pound my insides with your cock until I cum for you.”, you cried your ears obviously tearing up behind your blind fold.

Nemuri smiled and shivered in pleasure to your dirty words unsure of how she ended up with someone as erotic and sexy as you, you whined feeling the dildo leave your wet hole but the familiar sound of harness being zipped onto your lover easily replaced your needs. Nemuri let out a soft sigh feeling her end of the dildo graze against her inner walls, she loved the way the purple dildo stretched her but she loved it more watching you cream against it as she pounded into you. She left you tied up and watched your body tremble as she entered your wet heat, she cooed softly to you trying to get you to relax until she was all the way in. You both moaned to the movement of your shared dildo, Nemuri began to move her round hips smiling as you moaned her name. She was lost in her movements, the beautiful color over you skin drawing her attention. While she pounded into you she started to leave more kisses over your skin, she wanted to cover all of you in her kisses. These were her marks reminding her that she was your lover and she wanted to mark all of you.

“Baby I love you, don’t ever change. My one and only, you’re so sexy like this beneath me. So cute.”, Nemuri hummed laying against your body while she continued to thrust into your body.

You hummed to her sweet words begging for a kiss until you felt her warm plump lips against your own, your tongue gently licking her bottom lip until she gave you access to claim her in a French kiss. You both moaned into the kiss knowing full well that this wasn’t enough to satisfy your needs, it would be a long night but if it was with Nemuri you wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s not like she had to work tomorrow so a whole night of fun didn’t sound like a bad idea.

[avengerscompound]

When She’s Away

When She’s Away:  A Black Widow Fanfic

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Word Count:  2364

Warnings:  Smut (F|F, oral, vibrator and strap on use)

Synopsis:  Natasha is away a lot.  The two of you hate the time apart.  That is until Nat finds a way to keep you entertained when she’s not there.

When She’s Away

Being the partner of an avenger could be trying.  It meant getting left at home a lot worrying they wouldn’t come back.  It meant pretending that you hadn’t been worrying when they got home.  It meant them pretending they were in no real danger all along, to keep your mind at ease.  It meant pretending they didn’t know that you knew they were lying.

It meant that you bonded with everyone else that had to stay behind too.  It helped to have people to talk to.  People who got it.  No one got it as well as Pepper Potts.  She had become like the group mom of anyone who dated an Avenger.  Whether the relationship lasted a few weeks or the years you had been with Natasha.  The thing that helped her cope, was making sure everyone else was.  Which was a lot to take on considering she was also running Stark Industries.  Where she got the energy from you’ll never know.

So when she asked you to be a bridesmaid at her and Tony’s wedding, of course, you said yes.  She deserved to have people help her out when she’d done so much to help others.  You were looking forward to being in the line up beside her.  Getting to dress up.  At least for something that didn’t end in your girlfriend busting the place up.

You had been meeting with a designer, florists, and bakers with her along with her wedding planner.  Not that you were a lot of help, but her closest friends and family lived on the other side of the country and while maybe her friendship with Natasha had been going for longer than the one with you, you weren’t always dragged away on missions.  You didn’t mind, even though half the time you felt like decoration.  Sometimes just having someone there to ask their opinion when you weren’t sure, who had your back, helped.  So you didn’t mind being that person.

It kept you busy while Natasha was out of town in any case.  Looking at flowers and tasting cakes and nodding and agreeing about dress designs you had no idea about distracted you from the fact that Natasha had been completely radio silent for two weeks now.

It turned out, she had been busy too.  She appeared completely unannounced with a present for you.

“It’s got both clitoral and G-spot stimulation.  You can wear it while I do other things to you the way we do with the bullets only twice the stimulation.  I can set each side to vibrate at different intensities,”  She explained as you pulled the vibrator out of its sleek box.  It was small, purple and ‘U’ shaped with two ridged bulbous ends.  It came with a large white charging station that it fit snugly into.  “It’s actually what they call a couples vibrator.  When they say couple they aren’t speaking about our more sapphic kind obviously, but if you were interested I could fuck you with a strap on while that toy was inside you.”

You turned it over in your hand and ran your fingers over the silicone.  It looked like a good toy but not any better or worse than any of the almost countless others the two of you owned.

“You know what the best part is?”  She asked, quirking an eyebrow at you.

“No, what?”

She smirked and came closer running a finger from your stomach down to your cunt.  “It’s small enough and snug enough to wear around during the day and it comes with an app that works from the other side of the world.”

Your eyes lit up and you gave her a little shove.  “You dirty girl.”

She chuckled and pulled you back close against her.  “Oh, I plan to be.  Can you imagine?  I’m out of town.  You have it here.  We can facetime and I can watch as I get you off from the other side of the planet.  Or, even better,”  She gripped your ass and ghosted her lips over your neck.  “You’re at work and I switch it on just when I get the urge and you have to pretend you’re not about to come in your panties.”

You squirmed where you stood just thinking about all the things she could do to you.  “Fuck.  I’m wet just thinking about it.”

“Really?”  She asked and pushed her hand down into your shorts.  Her fingers slid up your folds, collecting up your wet.

“Tasha!”  You yelped pushing her.

She grabbed her wrist and pinned it behind your back as she continued to move her fingers up and down your pussy.  “We should give it a try.”

“It has to charge first.”  You whined.

“So go and charge it then,”  She teased pulling her hand out of your pants and slapping your ass.  “I’ll make us something to eat.”

You giggled and risked giving her ass a playful smack before running down to the bedroom with the toy.  You cleaned it off and set it up to charge near the bed.  You decided to set up a few other things too, to save Natasha the trouble.  You got out the harness and a red pyrex dildo and a water-based lube and lined them up next to it.

When you returned to the kitchen, she had made a salad and heated up a pirog that you had in the freezer.  She served them at the kitchen table with two iced teas you were already sure she’d spiked with vodka.

"How was the trip? Just spend it sex toy shopping?" You asked sitting down in her lap.  Even with her slight frame, you weren’t worried about her taking your weight easily.  She was much, much stronger than the average person.

She wrapped her arm around your waist and took a drink from her iced tea.  “It was fine.  I can’t really tell you much, but it was me and Clint and you know what he’s like.”

“He lets you boss him around.”  You said.

“Mm… that he does.”

“Who would have thought you like being in control.  What a revelation.”  You teased.

She pinched your thigh and laughed to herself.  “Such a smart ass, mishka.”  She teased.  You snuggled down against her.  Happy she was back and you got to be in her arms again.  “What about you, my darling?  How have you been?”

“Good, work’s been fine.  Same as always.  Being Pepper’s bridesmaid is… interesting.  I have no idea what I’m doing half the time.  Tony has a scary amount of money.  Like too much.”  You said.

“You’re telling me.”  She joked.

“At least I don’t think I’ll be wearing pink or tonnes of frills.  I think she wants us to wear white too.  Which… is weird right?”  You asked.

She shrugged.  “She has style.  Trust it.”

You finished your food and got up and stacked the dishwasher and returned to her lap.  You nuzzled into your neck and sighed contentedly.  “You’re being very affectionate,”  She said, running her fingers down the side of your neck.

“That’s because I love you,”  you replied leaning back and kissing her.  She slipped her hand back into your pants and lazily started to finger you as you kissed.  When she finally pulled back she pushed you to standing, pulled your pants and underwear off in one go and then turned you and sat you on the kitchen table.  You spread your legs wide for her as she guided you so you were lying back over it.

She nuzzled at your pussy for a moment, placing small kisses along the inside of your thighs.  You hummed and relaxed, letting her take her time, enjoying that she actually was for a change.  When her tongue finally swiped up your folds it startled you a little and you moaned arching your back and pushing your hips up, chasing after her mouth.

She grabbed your hips and held them down as she started to lap wide over your pussy.  She sucked at your folds and placed large open mouth kisses over them.  Your hand went to her hair and you pulled on it.  It seemed to focus her.  She made a soft growl sound and sucked your clit into her mouth.  Her tongue flicked back and forth over it sending a shiver from your cunt right up your spine.   You moaned and rolled your hips up against her face.

Pleased little sounds were coming from her as she used her mouth on you.  Soft hums and moans.  She was enjoying eating you out as much as you enjoyed her doing it.  Her pleasure seemed to add to you.  You relaxed more, not worrying about anything except how good it was to have her mouth on you.

She stood suddenly and picked you up, wrapping your legs around her tiny waist.  You thought for a moment how funny you must look, but you didn’t care.  You loved how easily Natasha could carry you.  You tangled your fingers in her hair and kissed her as she carried you down to the bedroom.

When she got there she dropped you down on the mattress and pulled her shirt off.  You scrambled to remove the rest of your clothes as she undressed in no particular hurry to take off the rest of hers.  She picked the vibrator up from the charging dock and started to apply lube to it as she turned it over in her hand.  You crawled up after her and pulled her close, placing a large kiss on her pussy and swirling your tongue around.  She moaned as the salty/sweet flavor of her fluids filled your mouth.

She let you kiss and suck at her pussy for a moment, moaning in pleasure as you used your mouth on her.  After a little while, she cupped your jaw and tilted your head up and kissed you deeply as she pushed you back on the bed.  You spread your legs and she eased the vibrator into your cunt, getting it into position so that it sat snuggly against your clit and pushed against your g-spot.

She stood back and looked down at you and picked up the remote.  “How does that feel?”

“Good.  Feels good.”  You said.

She turned the remote on and a slow mellow buzz started up against your clit.  You moaned and pushed your ass up off the bed like you were trying to chase the feeling it was giving you.  She started fingering herself as she changed the intensity, it went from slow and mellow to fast and intense and anything in between.

Natasha watched your reactions closely as she slowly rolled her finger over her clit, her devious little half smile playing over her lips.  You moaned and bucked and writhed in front of her.  When you reacted the way she seemed to like best, she put the control down and put on her harness.  It had a toy on the inside too, and she lubed it up and slid it inside of herself and added a bullet vibe against her clit.  She then lubed up the dildo she planned to use on you.

She pounced on you and you wrapped your legs around her and she slid the toy in.  It stretched you out and filled you more, but was in no way uncomfortable.  The addition of the dildo pushed the vibrator harder against your g-spot.  You groaned loudly as it sent a current of pleasure through you.  She started to slowly roll her hips against you.   Each roll added pressure to the part of the vibrator resting against your clit and increased the intensity of the buzz against it.  The buzz traveled out from your cunt through the rest of you.  As the dildo moved inside of you the vibrator would press hard against your g-spot.  Press and release press and release.

You started to pant.  Natasha cradled your head with her arm and looked right into your eyes.  Her mouth hovered over yours, her breath coming in hot and shallow.

“How’s it feel?”  She asked, her green eyes blown out with lust.

You leaned up and bunched your hand in her hair.  She captured your lips with her and you kissed her desperately, pulling her hair and dancing your tongues together.

“Fuck.  Fuck, Tasha!  Fuck!”  You cursed as she broke the kiss.

“Me too, mishka,”  She growled.

An orgasm took hold of you.  It crashed down making you cry out.  She kissed you through it as you clung to her, your fingers digging into her back.

She started to thrust harder, panting as her own orgasm neared.  Each thrust made the vibrate dig against your g-spot.  Your whole body seized up and you came again, gushing around the toys.

“Fuck,”  She groaned and came, her head falling back in pleasure and her body stilling.

You both lay there panting for a moment as the vibrator still buzzed against your swollen and sensitive clit.  “Okay, okay, need it to stop.”  You said pushing her off you.

You both removed the toys you were wearing and turned them off, tossing them haphazardly onto the bed as you curled up in each other's arms and let yourselves enjoy the endorphin highs you were riding.

“That one's a keeper,” you hummed.

She smiled and kissed your neck.  “Yes, I think it will do quite nicely.”

You walked your fingers up her side and trailed it under her breasts.  “Having this makes the idea of you going away again a little more exciting than I usually find it.”

She hummed and your whole body seemed to just relax.  “That’s what I had hoped.  I do very much like the idea of getting you off from a whole other country.”

You leaned in and brushed your lips over hers before nuzzling into her neck.  “Can we get you one too?”  You asked.

She chuckled softly.  “I don’t think a mid-mission orgasm would be wise.”

“No, but when we skype.  And maybe, when you’re having meetings with Steve.”  You said.

She laughed a little louder and kissed your cheek.  “The thought of him hearing is very good, but we shall see.  I’ll think about it.”

// NEXT

[hermannsthumb]

Just another cliché horny fic idea: Newt exposes himself to a kaiju sex gland which acts like the Strongest Viagra The Worlds Ever Seen in a controlled environment (his bedroom ofc). Hermann is sort of suspicious that he hasnt seen him most of the day, and recieves a vague phone call from him later on, urging him to come to his room to record his science stuff cuz-"heh, my hands are, uh, kinda busy right now."

this is SO dumb. i love it. enjoy

18+ below cut but it’s like. extremely silly for the most part

Newt thinks he may have been a little unintentionally misleading in the heat of the moment. Unintentionally! Completely unintentionally. You can’t expect a guy’s mind to be in the right place when he’s in a situation like Newt, is the thing. Anyway, what was he supposed to say? Hey, Hermann, I accidentally dosed myself with kaiju sex pollen and I’ve had a boner for, like, six hours straight, and I could use a little help in case I actually die or something.

“Anything along those lines,” Hermann says, shielding his eyes, “would’ve been far more preferable than what you actually said. Where are your trousers?”

“Trousers,” Newt says. “Ha, I love that you say that. Trousers,” he repeats, affecting his voice to the stuffy, pretentious register that Hermann’s perpetually resides. “By Jove, Newton, old sport, hast thou lost thy--shit!” Newt’s back seizes, his hips stuttering wildly, and he jizzes all over his hand; Hermann emits a small ack. “Okay, okay, that,” Newt’s almost panting too hard to even speak, “that was, uh, number five. Strength: intense. Mark that down.”

“This is obscene,” Hermann declares, “this is grotesque,” but he makes a small notation in Newt’s slopped-together chart--a page ripped out from an old notebook, lines drawn in a pink highlighter he found in his desk--as per his request anyway. Then Hermann’s owlish, bespectacled eyes (they’re doin’ science, after all, which means Hermann’s got his glasses up and perched on the end of his nose) flick up to Newt, his brow creasing in interest. “Did you say five?”

“Five,” Newt confirms, and finally being the subject of Hermann’s raw, undivided attention when he’s in a state like this, the kind of attention he usually only reserves for his equations, is, uh, really something; Newt feels vulnerable and splayed wide open, Newt feels important, Newt feels horny, damn it. Gazing between the squint behind those round glasses, that strange gash of a mouth curling down into a frown, Newt fucks up into his fist twice more and comes again with a strangled whimper. “Wow, wow, six. Also intense. Jesus.”

Hermann goes a bright, brilliant red, and quickly tears his eyes away. His hand is trembling around the pink highlighter. “By God, Newton,” he says, voice gone weak, “have some--have some decency.”

“You’re the one taking notes!” Newt moans.

“You asked me to,” Hermann says.

Unintentionally misleading. I’ve made a scientific breakthrough about the kaiju, Newt said into the phone, I need you to help me record data, it’s crucial, my hands are, uh, full--and that really wasn’t a lie, It’s three in the morning, Hermann spat back, It’s an emergency, life or death, Newt said, and it was an accident, really, Newt didn’t really mean to spike his coffee with weird black market ground up kaiju glands, and he didn’t mean to worry Hermann, he just left that shit sitting out on the kitchenette counter in the lab next to the sugar, and, you know, accidents happen. Newt’s only human. 

Newt’s only human, and Hermann Gottlieb--weird, frumpy, gorgeous Hermann Gottlieb, in all his Victorian schoolmaster glory--is sitting at Newt’s desk chair watching Newt masturbate like it’s some sort of mildly interesting TV program. He can’t be blamed for what he does next.

“Hermann, buddy,” Newt says, pleadingly, “hey. Hey. Listen. Here’s an idea. It’s a really--it’s an idea. You’re a guy. I’m a guy. We both--”

“Newton,” Hermann says, voice sounding oddly strangled.

“Two dudes who like dudes,” Newt says. “Two friends who like dudes. Best friends forever.” They should get matching bracelets. Do they make friendship bracelets for lab partners? The kaiju gland is making Newt a little dizzy. 

“Newton,” Hermann repeats.

Newt’s prepared to finish his speech with a rousing call to scientific achievement or discovery or some shit like that or say it’s completely within the lines of a man’s duty to his lab partner to jerk him off, nothing inherently romantic about it all, they don’t have to make it awkward, but all that comes out is a little whining “Please touch me.”

The pink highlighter no longer trembles in Hermann’s clutch. Instead, Hermann holds it with white knuckles, so tight that Newt’s certain it’s seconds from snapping right in half and spurting ink everywhere. “Newton,” he says shrilly, and then winces at the pitch. He swallows and tries again, moderately calmer. “You don’t know what you’re asking. You’re not in your right mind.”

Newt groans in frustration. “This isn’t fucking sex pollen, dude,” he says. “I do know what I’m asking. It’s just--a little less weird than you sitting there, you know?”

“How on earth is it less weird?”

“Oh, never mind,” Newt sighs, and wraps his fingers around himself again. They’re so slippery it’s almost disgusting. It’s getting a little tiring, too; he’s worried he’ll pull something in his arm. Maybe he could break out a vibrator instead and use that, or even just add in a dildo for the extra stimulation. Anything to make this go faster. (Maybe it’ll never wear off.) “Hey,” he grunts out, pulling at himself again and screwing his eyes up tight with the effort, “I have--top bedside drawer--uh, a vibrator, can you--”

Newt hears the drawer slides open. “Oh,” Hermann squeaks in surprise. “You certainly have--ah--quite the collection.”

“Purple one,” Newt says, and thrusts his hand out.

“Which purple one?”

“The one that’s not a tentacle.”

Silence. “I don’t mean to be crass, Newton,” Hermann says, hesitant, “but do these all really...fit?”

What is he talking about? “Not all,” Newt says. “I’ve got more of ‘em in the bottom drawer.” He wriggles his fingers. “Can I please have the purple one now?”

Hermann presses the vibrator to Newt’s palm, but doesn’t let go quite yet. “Ah. I don’t mean in the drawer.”

Newt’s eyes shoot open; Hermann is even redder than before. The picture of mortification. Mouth clamped shut he can’t believe what he just said. Newt can’t really believe it, either. “Holy shit, Hermann,” he says, his own face burning. “Yes, they all fit.”

Hermann’s tongue darts out over his lower lip. For the first time, Newt notices that Hermann’s pretty affected about this all, too: red flush seeping across his cheeks and neck, sweat beading his brow, top button undone, mouth red from where he’s very obviously been biting at it. Suspicious tenting that those ugly wool slacks do a piss-poor job of hiding. Hermann’s only human, too. 

Newt drops the vibrator and snags Hermann’s wrist instead, holding him in place as he startles. He doesn’t try to reel away, though, or shake Newt off. “Newton--”

“Get down here already, man,” Newt says, and Hermann requires absolutely no more persuasion.

Tossing Hermann into the equation doesn’t exactly lessen the effects of the kaiju gland, but it does provide a nice change of pace and a chance for Newt to rest his poor aching hand. Hermann’s a sharp, bony streak of nothing, and Newt feels every inch of it as they rub up against each other--elbow to Newt’s gut, shoulder to his pec, both of which he apologizes for profusely--and he makes weird noises that make Newt giggle--grunts, low groans that sound like he’s been punched in the stomach--and even weirder faces, especially when Newt sucks at the spot of his neck right underneath one of his big ears--his eyes roll up, and his mouth gets all twisty. It’s cute, in a weird, Hermann way.

“Can I fuck you?” Newt breathes out at one point while Hermann jerks him off through orgasm eight. “It’d be super hot. Think about it. I wouldn’t even have to stop--I could just keep going. Like a living dildo.”

“Seems a bit painful,” Hermann says.

“Or awesome,” Newt says. He allows himself a brief fantasy of it: Hermann on his back, legs spread all wide, ordering Newt to keep going, faster, harder (Newt would love if Hermann bossed him around in bed, too), even as he writhes under Newt, even when it gets so messy that Newt-- He blows his load all over Hermann’s hand again. “Fuck,” he moans, and Hermann laughs, the jackass. “I swear I usually last longer. This shit’s got me all wound up.”

“I’m sure,” Hermann says. He wipes his fingers off on the sheets, then reaches to mark down this orgasm in Newt’s bright pink log as Newt catches his breath. “Shall I use my hand again, or would you like to try something else?”

“Mouth,” Newt says quickly, because he’s fantasized about those weird lips on every inch of him for what feels like an eternity. “Mouth. Holy shit. Definitely.”

“Oh, I’ll add a new column for that,” Hermann tells him. He holds up a finger. “One moment.”

“Thorough,” Newt says, then, fully serious, “Sexy.” Best lab partner a guy could ask for, really.

[lovemecharlie]

Deuces Wild

The response to Bad Girl, Charlie by @itsangeludaku in which Erik had her effed up. Check that out first for the tea.

“You what!?” Charlie asked in complete surprise.

“Uhhh, sorry?” Angel said with the shrug of her shoulders.

Charlie stared at her in disbelief for a few seconds before bursting with laughter. Angel watched with furrowed eyebrows as Charlie laughed until she cried.

“Angel, I didn’t know you had it in you.” Charlie said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“You’re not mad?” Angel asked cautiously.

“Nope, I’m a little proud of you actually.” She said, crossing her arms with a smile.

“Well in that case, let’s get back out there, and this time, let’s try singing together. No sister of mine is going to be so afraid of being on stage she pukes.” Angel said pulling Charlie along.

“Angeeeel.” Charlie groaned out as she allowed Angel to pull her up on stage.

“You’ll be aiight.” Angel said.

--

"You'll be aiight," Angel had said. She ain't get it. She was used to performing and thrived under the spotlight. Charlie, however, was a quivering mess. Was she aiight? Hell no, but she got through it because her name was Charlie fucking Jade. Her clammy hands trembled almost fumbling the mic. Her voice shook as she stuttered awkwardly through lyrics, her voice cracking. Her eye twitched and she felt faint as though she might puke again, but she finished.. and she speedwalked away to an abandoned corner as soon as it was over. She couldn't eradicate her body's physical response, but she could tame it. Inhale through the nose 4 seconds. Hold for 7. Whoosh out through the mouth for 8. It was a breathing technique she'd practiced with a few of her clients that worked wonders. It also helped the flashbacks begin to cease and settle, allowing her to reflect on the cocktail of bullshit that'd just been thrown on her.. starting with her beloved Angel.

Angel admitted to setting up the entire incident as a means to mentally and emotionally trigger her as payback for making Ryley cum.. and oh did she cum. Angel had successfully humiliated Charlie and bribed Erik with pussy to get him involved in her shenanigans. Did Charlie deserve it? She'd made Ryley squirt knowing Angel was obsessive over her, yeah. Playfully and figuratively rubbed it in her face, sure. But it wasn't like Ryley didn't enjoy herself. If anything, Ryley took the strap like a heavyweight champ AND rode it like a soldier. Besides.. Charlie had a personal mission to fuck everyone much like Kimora. So did she deserve the torture? Debatable. Would she seek revenge? Hm. She snickered. She could always fuck Ryley to pieces again and record it, place it on Angel's nightstand wrapped in a pretty bow with a handwritten note saying 'from scorpio to scorpio - thanks for the pussy.' It was a win-win, the pussy and the petty!

But no. Although, it was lowkey fun to see Angel's petty side in action and it made Charlie tingly down below. It was a hidden trait Angel had that was always one of Charlie's favorites. Charlie wasn't mad at it. Still, she didn't bother to rejoin the group since she didn't do karaoke nor did she smoke or drink. Instead, she unbuckled the lilac collar that signified her submission and threw it across the parking lot, leaving early without saying a word.

◇

The following morning, Charlie strolled into Angel's room. Angel and Erik were still curled up in the bed. "Daddy," she whispered in Erik's ear causing him to stir. He smiled at the name, eyes barely opening, "Sup Cha." Shifting slowly from the bed so not to wake his angel, he stood following Charlie from the room. "We need to talk," she said pulling him all the way to her playroom and closing the door. Purple, blue, and pink neon lights surrounded them and she threw him onto the bed, straddling his waist. His hands wrapped around her hips automatically and he bit his lip.

"We need.. to fix and reprogram you, Daka, because as it stands, you are bitch-made," Charlie said bluntly. That caught him off guard. His humored chuckle caused her serious face to crack, but she had to make her point. "No, I'm serious. Pussy controls your logic and it wasn't always so."

"How does it control my logic? Girl, I'm a grown ass man, I make my own decisions."

"So you say," Charlie said dryly, "You're also a self-proclaimed dom, but you're easily swayed and brought into drama that never involved you in the first place.. NO, listen," she said grabbing his chin along with his full attention. "You made a grave error last night and I need to tell you exactly where you fucked up or else you won't know! I trusted you as a submissive and you abused that trust by participating in my embarrassment. I don't take that lightly and if it were you, you wouldn't either."

"Hell nah I wouldn't." Suddenly he understood. "Okay... I see what you're saying, but how do I fix it? You know I'm the last person on this earth to wanna do you wrong and yeah I helped Angel, but I was standing right there the whole time watching you. If anyone had laughed at you, I'd have beat their ass. You know that! No one was laughing, Cha. It was in your head. You did perfectly fine, I could barely tell you were nervous--"

"Erik," Charlie paused him with a soft hand around his thick neck, "I don't care what it looked like on the outside, that was torture and you hurt me."

He looked genuinely apologetic then, his eyes welling with emotion and regret. "What do you want me to do? ..You want me to get Angel back?"

"NO! You need to stay out of grown wives' business. That's the problem. I don't want you to do anything. Let us handle it and don't intervene because it looks like you're taking sides."

"I'm not! I'm not.. it was the pussy, baby, I sw-- Damn. Damn, you right. Shit!" He rubs his face, realization hitting.

"BITCH. MADE. Check your loyalty N'jadaka. If you're a grown-ass man, act like it. You a dom? Say no to messiness. Fix that. Until then, my trust in you and my submission is herewith dissolved until further notice because obviously, niggas didn't deserve it. Thought I'd let you know."

"Way-way-wait..," he kissed his teeth stroking Charlie's back and her swollen belly, "Don't do that. You know I ain't hurt you on purpose. Daddy sorry." He kissed her wrist. "And I promise.. I will mind my business going forward. You ain't gotta worry, you can still trust me." He gripped her firmly as if he was afraid she'd leave if he let go. Charlie chuckled, humorlessly.

"Oh, I'm not leaving the house, N'jadaka, so don't PANIC, but submissive Charlie is dead. King Jade is very much alive and ready to make you wish I left."

"You could never make me wish th-"

"Oh you will! Because in catering to scorpion number one, you turned your back on your deuce and everyone knows deuces wild." CLICK. The doors all locked suddenly and the hidden drawers of floggers, paddles, canes, dildos, plugs, and vibrators popped out from the wall. She pinned his hands to the bed as smart-restraints popped out gripping his arms into place. He couldn't move them and Charlie lifted walking to the wall to select a large dildo close to the size of his own dick, but not quite. She pecked him gently on the lips, her painted fingernail trailing down the soft keloids of his chest.

"I'm a buss your sweet n sour ass wide open like a twenty at the gas station.. turn you into a nigga with some sense," she said lubing it up. "You're going to learn that you don't play with Charlie Jade. Someone tell you to try me, you back the fuck down! You act like you know who the hell I am. Or something like THIS will happen to you.

@poosypoosy @bastioncarterstevens-udaku @hennessystevens-udaku @itsangeludaku @alyshastevens-udaku @itskimorafireudaku @allhailnjadaka @bidibidibombaclaat @blackpinup22 @destinio1 @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @leahnicole1219 @vikkidc @thehomierobbstark

[bixgirl1]

Hey, bixy, so I was wondering what's the Top-50 of your favourite lines/scenes from your fics? What are the parts you're very proud of? ❤

carpemermaid said:  Hiiii, consider this a ditto to the ask you sent me. Tell us your top 10 favorite lines/scenes/bits/concepts/*cough*smuts*cough/etc from your works

Well, I guess I had that one coming. *snort*  LOLOL  Can I settle somewhere between thesetwo amounts? 

Alright, here comessome shameless self-promotion that has me cringing (I AM TRYING TO GET OVERTHAT INCLINATION, I SWEAR!), in no particular order (AND HOLY CRAP THIS IS SOLONG I’M SO SO SORRY!):

The Shape Of The World.  I was incrediblypleased with this fic overall; memory loss isn’t my favourite trope, but Iliked how I managed this, and I liked how it forced Harry and Draco to get toknow each other how they are. A couple of my favourite lines/scenes were:

‘“You’re takingthis extremely well, actually,” Draco says with no small amount of admiration.

Potter takes adeep breath and lets it out slowly. “Well, I’m either a complete fuckinglunatic, so it doesn’t matter if I play along, or all of this is real so it’simportant that I play along.”  It’s such a Potter thing to say that Dracolets his smile grow. He shrugs, then meets Draco’s eyes. “Can you get me someof my things?”

“Yes,” Dracosays, feeling rather bad about the position Potter is in. “Let me know what youneed. It might take a couple of days, but we’ll also arrange for you to callyour assistant. And you mentioned a pet you need to feed?”

“Morty. She’llbe good for a couple of weeks, though; she didn’t eat too long ago,” Pottersays. “She’s a snake.”

Draco blinksrapidly as he absorbs this. Harry Potter has a pet snake.

Who he named Morty.

Potter looksat him oddly as Draco’s face twists with this information. “What?”

Helplessly,Draco begins to laugh.’

I loved the addition ofMorty to the fic; I still giggle every time I think of him.  And this bit, too, tends to be one I gravitatetowards:

‘It takesbarely any time at all, maybe a minute or two, before he’s groaning andspurting over his own rapidly moving hand; he doesn’t think he’s ever come sofast in his life, not even as a fourteen-year-old with no self-control. Heusually takes his time, enjoying himself in a hot bath or under cool sheets,teasing his nipples, using lube on his cock and arse. But he usually hasn’tbeen riding a knife’s edge of repressed arousal for two days. He usually doesn’thave Harry Potter wet and mostly willing and practically naked fifteen feetaway from him, and Draco wonders disconsolately how often a man can masturbatebefore he goes insane, because he suspects he’s going to be doing this a lot.

Just then,Harry’s voice drifts across the hall. He sounds deeply amused. “I’m going toassume—and hope—you’re not always that quick.”

Horrified,Draco looks at the door and realizes that he gave no thought whatsoever tocasting a Silencing charm and that Harry has just heard him come.

Loudly.

In under twominutes.

The back ofhis head thunks against the door. Draco casts a quick cleaning charm.

“I fell over,”he croaks out.

“I did too,”Harry calls. “In the shower, just now.”

Fucking prat.’

Basically Iloved everything about their dynamic in this story.

In Heartache this scene — in which Harry and Draco finally find a way to relate to eachother — is probably one of the ones closest to my heart.  There are others (I liked exploring the PTSDafter the war, and their relationship had a slow-burn feel build to me thatalso… wasn’t. lol), but this one stands out for me:

‘“And anyway,isn’t that what the Mind-Healer is supposed to be for?”

“I don’t hateyou anymore, Malfoy,” Potter says, so quickly and seriously that Draco feelsadrift from it. “And what am I supposed to say to her?”

That hadoccurred to Draco, too. His lips quirk in a smile that feels a bit like beingin a dream: unfocused and unreal; rather like sitting with Potter on the stonefloor and talking as if they’ve ever been friends.  “I know,” he says atlast. “Here, let me tell you about when the Dark Lord seared this mark into myskin, and how I could smell burning flesh for days afterward.”

He’simmediately horrified; he doesn’t know why he said that, doesn’t even know howit came into his mind at this particular moment. And now stupid Potter is goingto curl his lip in disgust and peek down at Draco’s aforementioned Mark,reminded of who he’s actually talking to at half-one in the morning.

Only hedoesn’t. Instead, Potter lets out a bit of a strangled laugh. “Hey, would youlike to hear about what it’s like to get AvadaKedavra-d?”

Draco findshimself snickering. “Have you ever been forced to Crucio someone? Here, let me teach you.”

“Would youlike to know what it’s like to be worshipped because a lot of people died tosave you?” Potter says, laughing a bit louder.

“Have aninterest in werewolves? Greyback had allsorts of appetites; I can tell you about them.”

And suddenly,they are giggling — a high-pitched, unsteady noise which echoes across thecorridor. Draco’s shoulder’s shake, and Potter’s eyes are screwed tight, hismouth an oddly-shaped smile as they laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh. ThenPotter grabs his hand, justlifts it — as though it’s not the most perverse action he could take —and laces his fingers through Draco’s, who clutches at him and realises that,at some point, his mirth has turned to tears that he has no way of shuttingoff.

Potter grips himtight with a cold, dry hand, and Draco clings back as his mouth quivers and histears fall, and he feels ashamed, so ashamed, for crying in front of Potter. Hedoesn’t know why it has to be thisboy with him for so many of his weakest moments, to witness so muchof his misery, but at least this time Potter isn’t yelling at him and trying toslash him in half, and Potter’s black, tangled lashes are wet too, his eyes asdark as an evergreen wood, and so Draco just breathes and holds onto Potter andcries.

He hears itdistantly, a pathetic, repetitive little sniffling-sob that his father wouldsurely hate him for.

Yet, hisfather is in Azkaban, and Draco is not; he is here, being held by Potter — whohas clumsily pulled Draco into a hug — and that makes all the difference.’

(Sorry youguys asked yet? Lol)

Instruction For A Misplaced Slytherincame to me out of the blue with THIS SCENE which I will love till my dying day,I’m sorry this is so weird and nsfw, but:

‘Accepted intoPotter’s Muffliatocharm once his head was inside, Draco could hear a harsh buzzing noise, warringwith the sudden rushing in his ears as he stared down uncomprehendingly at thesight before him. Potter was stretched out, splayed in a horriblyuncomfortable-looking position. His knees were crooked at an angle and his legsopened wide as he reclined on his pillows and let a monstrously-sized,obviously charmed sex toy batter at his tightly furled hole, trying to getinside. He had one hand wrapped around his semi-erect prick, and hisglasses-less face was screwed up tightly in frustration or possibly even painfrom the looks of it. Pain, Draco decided, as Potter made grunted a little andwrithed to accommodate the dildo. Definitely pain.

Draco made anoise in the back of his throat, unable to cope with the sight. Dear lord, andhe’d thought Voldemort was going to kill him.

Potter’s eyesfluttered open, shockingly green without his glasses to obscure them. Theywidened as they caught Draco’s gaze and both of them froze for a split seconduntil Potter gave a sudden yelp, letting go of his cock and reaching down tobat at the thing buzzing between his arse cheeks. He knocked it into theopposite bed hangings, where it bounced off and down, rolling back onto themattress and giving two last, mournful little sounds before falling silent.

“Merlin andGodric!” Potter shouted.

“And Salazar,too,” Draco agreed faintly, through numb lips. He let the curtains fall shutand backed away to sit (perhaps ‘collapse’ might have been the appropriateterm, as Draco could suddenly no longer feel his legs. All of the blood in hisbody had rushed elsewhere.) down on the edge of his own mattress.

He heardshuffling behind Potter’s curtains as he dropped the Silencing charm and beganmoving around. Draco tried to acclimatize quickly to his new font of knowledge,except that he was pretty sure his brain was bleeding out his ears. Okay, soPotter apparently liked it up the arse. And wanted it painful? That kink didn’tseem like what Draco knew about him — and the ten-inch, bright purple,vibrating dildo with the girth of a bottle of pumpkin juice even less so. Buthe’d never expected for Potter to speak for him at his trial, either. Sometimespeople just surprised you.’

In Strange Bathfellows  I liked the scene where Harry walked in onthe two of them having sex, and the letter exchange between Harry and Draco, aswell as every bit in which Ron and Hermione were betting with each other onHarry and Draco’s relationship — but in particular, this exchange:

‘“Will you guysstop betting on my sex life?” Harry grumbled.

“Well, nowthat you finally have one, we find ourselves interested.” Ron paused, bemused.“We three are probably way too close, you know.”

Harry sighed.“I know. I’ve got to go.”’

Small Spaces  is one of my shorter fics, but I get off onthe idea of Harry’s accidental magic being a result of his sexual frustration,and I loved this bit:

‘“What am I?”Malfoy whispered, voice cracking. “What do I make you do?”

“You’re awful, oh, god, and beautiful,” Harry chokedout, feeling infuriated and relieved by the words, both. “I want to fuck you, and I shouldn’t and you barely look at me, ahh, Malfoywait, I’m going to—”

“Come, Harry,”Malfoy commanded softly, his hand a blur over Harry’s cock. His voice was sureand lovely, in the way dark things can be.’

For Balance, Imperfect I have troublepicking one or or even several scenes, because (I know it sounds horriblyegotistical) I’m in love with it. But I will say that every scene with Ronmakes me ache, and the confrontation between Harry and Ron near the end makesme proud af; I loved Harry and Draco’s first kiss, loved Draco’s birthday, andloved Harry coming down the stairs, as well as his first broom flight after hisinjury. And Draco broke my heart in the best possible way in Balance.  There are a couple of lines that I can thinkof off the top of my head that I can give:

‘They havekissed every slip of skin on each other’s bodies, have kissed for hours, havekissed in a thousand different ways from affectionate to purposeful tolust-driven. And yet, somehow, it’s never been like this, and Draco wondersfleetingly how much Harry has been holding back all this time before histhoughts spiral away like a shooting star into space and he’s left thinkingonly of Harry, the sun.’

and

‘When Harry isnaked, Draco’s hands pause on either side of his right thigh where it willnever fully stop hurting, at the union of real and gone and other,and he leans his forehead against the back of it for a moment, breathingslowly. The room seems to shimmer, and his heart knocks in his chest, and heknows it is nothing more than wishful thinking or perhaps just love, butDraco’s breath or hands or mere presencedoes make the pain recede, just a little. Just enough.’

In The Things They Never Say, I loved their first fight in the pub and resultant loo sex. But I especiallyliked the scenes where their magic would blend and crest while they werefucking, and the final lines — which I won’t include here, because they’rebetter as part of the story. Lol

In 100,000 Galleons I loved the whole scene with the snorkelinglesson, and every single time Dracoturned out to be horrible at learningmuggle things. And, oh, his sunburn. (Seriously, poor fucking Draco in thatfic. *dies laughing*) Also the accidental handjob and the ridiculous bout ofvoyeurism are bits I still giggle over. Lol.

In The Man In The Scarlet Cloak, I had this bizarre idea for actual sex…um, pollen. And I had this mentalimage of Draco, just high as a kite, torturing a Harry who resolutely wouldn’tsleep with him like that, which resulted in a couple of my favorite lines/scenes,ever:

‘“I want tosuck you,” Draco announced, and indeed it was the best idea he’d ever had.Potter—Harry—was gorgeous, the best thing he’d ever seen, thelight of his aura matching the brilliance of his eyes. His body movedlike—well, Draco couldn’t think of anything. Something beautiful. A unicorn.Except unicorns were horse-like, and Potter was simply a man. He moved like aman. His body was graceful like a horse or a unicorn but he was a man, and hehad a long thick cock that Draco had seen in his jeans and felt against hiship, and he wanted to taste it and—

“Um.” Harrywaved a hand in front of his face. “Draco? I think that flower might have—”

“I want tosuck your cock,” Draco told him dreamily. He’d wanted to for years. Itprobably tasted so good. “It felt really large. Is it really large?”

Harry made anoise that sounded like bells in Draco’s ears, tinkling and harmonious. Hiseyes were huge, and he took Draco’s hand. Draco trembled at the contact; itfelt divine, so warm, so connected, pulsing with life and magic andDraco needed that hand, needed those fingers in him.

“Let’s get youaway from the flowers, now, okay?” Harry said, and his voice was call of the merpeopleunderwater’

And:

‘“Mmm,” Dracomurmured, peppering little kisses over his thigh. “It’s so thick.”

“Draco, I wantto try something with you,” Harry said, strained, as Draco’s fingers brushedover his actual cock for a moment before moving back to his leg. Dracopeered up at him, messy and flushed and willing.

“What?Anything, Harry,” he swore, raspy and devoted. “I’ve wanted to feel you in mefor years.”

“Fuck,” Harrysaid again, under his breath. Draco heard it and nodded quickly, hands circlingHarry’s thigh. His fingers were unable to meet in the middle, but he stroked upand down it anyway, wanking his leg very deliberately. Harry huffed a sigh.’

I lovedwriting Ten Years, and His Whole Life, but the line/scene that stands out the most to me in it is:

‘It is all thathe has always been afraid to want from this man who is everyone’s something.But now Draco is Harry’s everything (you are, you are) and he is,finally, unafraid.’

In Naked… Um. Nakedis like Balance, for me, in terms of love and pride (although where Balancetook like a month and was written with such ease I felt like I was dreaming,Naked took nearly two and almost made me grind my teeth into dust. LOL), sothis one is really hard and I legit can’t even reference my favorite scenesbecause they give away too many things about the plot. I can say one of them is Harry yelling at Draco about…something that people want to knowabout, and another is…somethinghappening over dinner, and another is…thepeople showing up and also… someonein a straight up rant… and stuff like that. Which is not helpful, so here; I’llgive you a line before anything really happens:

‘He glancesover at Draco, and looks vaguely sympathetic. “I understand this can be a newexperience. Please take your own time in finding your comfort level; we wouldnever encourage you to disrobe before you’re ready.”

“Oh, no, thiswas his idea,” Potter says, squeezing him around the ribcage so tight thatDraco’s automatic, infuriated objection is cut off as he tries to breathe. “Isaid, ‘where should we go for our honeymoon?’ and Daniel here said, ‘Harry, Iwant to take you somewhere you can be naked the entire time.’” Potter laughsand Draco steps on his foot with all of his weight, pasting on a smile. “So we’renaked all the way!”

“Oh,congratulations!” the employee says, grinning. “Please, let me send up acomplimentary bottle of champagne to your room.”

“Thanks,that’d be great,” Potter says with a grin, nuzzling Draco’s ear. Draco pinchesa bit of muscle on Potter’s back and twists it ruthlessly until Potter’s armaround him loosens.

“Yes, lovely,thank you,” Draco parrots.’

Because whodoesn’t love Harry when he’s being a confident, flirtatious nightmare of awizard, and ruffling Draco’s feathers?

Okay, that’sit. I’m pretty horrified at myself, and I feel like burying my head in the sandforever and ever, so I apologise for the length of this.  I just have trouble picking favourite scenesor lines; it’s legit near-impossible for me to do with other people’s fics,either, (although, like, ten lines just popped into my head from my fave fics,idk why), but these are some of the bits I like best about mine, so… *runs and hides*

[divina2use]

Snap! to it Divina

byDivinaTellsAll©

Writer's note: The following story is 100% true

THE DRIVE

The drive to Austin was 8 hours in good weather. Today it had been raining, and it was going to be 11 hours in the car, by arrival time.

I was acutely aware of how long the car ride had been so far, for several reasons. The biggest of which was the overly-tight pair of pink sissy panties, currently cutting into me. I had been given the freedom to pick the panties of my choice for this drive, and I had purposefully picked them to be tight. I wanted to be reminded of them all the way down, the results were not disappointing.

In the car with me was Goddess Kimberly. She was as excited for the trip to session with Madame Vega as I was. I could see her face light up as she typed on her phone, and I immediately knew who she was texting with. She didn't save the surprise, but rather turned to me and smiled when she finished. Through her smile (that seemed to be growing as she spoke) she informed me that when we finally reached the room tonight, she and Madame Vega had decided that I would be edged to the point of orgasm 5 times. Then my frustrated sissy clitty would be locked away for further use tomorrow. I had no expectations that I would be cumming on this day, the day before session, but the number of times I would be taken to the edge sent a little shock through my pink panty covered clitty.

When we reached the room, Goddess Kimberly and I were both exhausted from the drive, but we were also quite sleepless. I knew by the glint in her eye that she was going to enjoy taking me to the edge. She used a small handheld massager and did exactly that, over and over, for about an hour.

My clitty is NEVER allowed to be hard, and I can maintain a soft state, almost to the point of orgasm. Goddess Kimberly could easily tell when I was close to cumming because of that, and she worked me up and back down five times. I was ready to explode by the end of the process, but I knew that a clitty explosion of orgasmic bliss would not be my fate tonight. That fact sank in a little deeper as she locked on the chastity device.

Goddess Kimberly was obviously quite excited to have teased me for so long. I realized exactly how much as she tossed the chastity keys to the side and stripped off her own panties. She crawled up my body toward my face, and right before lowering her pussy onto me, turned around to face my feet. She had her own full out orgasm within a minute. A very wet orgasm.

"Don't stop until I get up Princess," she commanded, as my tongue continued, I didn't dare slow down. Goddess Kimberly can orgasm for hours if she chooses to, but I would guess she stopped and crawled off of my face after about 30 minutes. I was trying to count her orgasms, and I counted a dozen for sure. My clitty strained in it's cage this entire time. Worshiping Goddess Kimberly's pussy always makes me excited, and the fact that I was locked up and edged added an even higher level to my sissy girl bliss. .

When she was finished with my tongue, she turned back around and collapsed in the bed beside me. We slept solidly until morning, exhausted for the drive, and excited for the day to come.

STARTING SESSION DAY

My head was swimming when I woke. My clitty was straining in its cage all night long, but as it always does, eventually got tired of pushing against metal without being able to grow. It was settling back in to be the true soft sissy clity it was born to be as the day got underway.

Goddess Kimberly and I spent our day with a trip to the adult store, and then took a trip around town. As this trip was intended to be completely in sissy mode for me, I had packed no boy underwear. I thought of the pretty panties covering my locked clitty quite often that day. Even though I felt arousal, my clitty stayed soft in its cage, for the most part. I was pleased with this bit of clitty obedience. Tonight's session would mark 50 days since I was allowed to stroke like a boy, or have any kind of penetrative sex. My clitty rarely got hard now, but it was becoming so sensitive. I knew it wouldn't be long and any level of hardness would be a thing of the past.

SESSION BEGINNINGS

Goddess Kimberly watched and plotted as I laid out several toys for the session, and most of my sissy wardrobe. I had brought far more than could even consider wearing, just like a good girl would!

Madame Vega arrived early in the evening, and the three of us went for a quick dinner. My nerves were off the charts now, and I was thinking of all the clothes laid out in the room and how I longed to slip them on my body and become their perfect little sissy girl to use and play with.

When we arrived back at the room, Madame Vega looked over my outfits and picked a pink teddy that was see through, aside from the padded breasts. She also selected a pink pair of sissy panties with a mesh heart on the back. I quickly slipped these on, as well as a beautiful purple wig. I looked in the mirror, and saw Divina, my inner sissy, staring back. The truth was she had been there all day, and most of the previous day. Divina was in control now, and I was no longer forced to pretend to be a boy.

STARTING THE SHOW

Madame Vega had promoted this session on her snap chat, and was going to stream much of it live to her members. I loved that she was using me in the manner.

Confession: I have a fantasy to be used as a sissy slut to make the two of them money, entertain themselves, their friends, etc ... Being used and exposed to the world as the sissy girl I long to be was pure heaven to me. I love that she allows me to call her Madame, because what I truly want is to some day be her little sissy slut to pimp out.

We started the show with a live snap chat interview. Madame Vega quizzed me about my hopes for the session, and any fears. I knew as I spoke into the phone cam that I was being watched by others, and my clitty suddenly was a little overwhelmed with the excitement. It grew greatly in it's cage, but had been locked long enough the struggle did not last long. It quickly reverted to it's true clitty form.

I also took quick note that almost all of the blinds in the corner suite were open. I wondered if anyone would notice the activity in the room and watch. I had a second of nerves over this, but the twinge of excitement over my possible exposure quickly overrode them. The duality of my male "shyness" vs the sissy in me that longs to be publicly shown off created a very powerful feeling in my brain, and took me a little deeper down the rabbit hole, even before we had fully started to play.

BEING A USED AND EXPOSED SISSY

Madame Vega had me crawl around the room to put things exactly where she wanted them as she and Goddess Kimberly relaxed and discussed the session. The physical parts of the session stated with a spanking. Madame Vega bent me over a chase lounge in the room and reminded me of the price of resistance and failure. She switched between implements, and even broke a brush on my sissy ass at one point. I took one quick look at Goddess Kimberly during this event and saw the smile on her face. I knew how hot she must be getting watching this. I also knew Madame Vega was sending clips of this to her snap chat gold members. My head was exploding as I was sinking deeper and deeper. Letting Divina eliminate more and more of the boy resistance. It was almost completely gone now.

For the next few hours much of my time was spent going around the room for various tasks, and the tone for that was being set now. "Tits out Divina," is a phrase I was reminded of often. I was also coached to keep my panties properly fixed, like a good slut. The expectations that my mannerisms would be those of a complete sissy were being set in stone as the session started. Any resistance to being the dirtiest sissy girl possible was slipping away.

Next came the coin game. Madame Vega placed 8 coins on the floor and instructed me to put all 10 fingers on the glass patio door. I stood there up against the glass door, fully in view to the outside world. While keeping all 10 fingers on the glass, I was required to slip a coin under each finger. I failed once, dropping the coins to the floor, and was spanked in front of the door for it.

Eventually I succeeded, and was essentially "locked" against the glass by my fingertips holding the coins. Madame Vega then delivered yet another spanking, keeping me against the glass for the world to see, and making me confess to her all my dirty thoughts of and hopes for complete sissification.

I once again knew large parts of this session were being broadcast live to an audience as it happened. I kept forgetting that fact, then remembering it. So hot! So mind bending! I was exposed to the window. I was being watched online. I wanted this more than anything now! I wanted the world to see the sissy I am becoming! I wanted to be the dirtiest girl I could possibly be!

UNLEASHING THE DIRTY GIRL WITHIN

At this point, the night had been quite the experience already. I had dropped so far into a sissy headspace that I was now swimming in "tits out" bliss. It was taking its toll though, and I was beginning to wear down just a bit. Then came the magic words. "You have been a good girl tonight Divina, and you may remove your cage and use the Hitachi on your sissy clitty."

Heaven was here for me.

I gratefully removed my chastity device (it has been on for most of 24 hours at this point) and touched my clitty with the vibrating wand.

My mind exploded. The arousal I was experiencing in my mind, now flooded my body as well. The dirtiest thoughts started to form. My breasts pushed out. My clitty felt so good to touch, but it stayed limp and the pleasure flowed through it.

I am grateful I was allowed this boost, because things were about to go up a notch!

"Davina, take the black suction cup dildo, and crawl out onto the patio. Suction cup the dildo to the patio door, and give it the blowjob of a lifetime until you are told to stop." Madame Vega smiles as she issued those instructions.

My body began to obey before my mind could even think of resisting. I made note of this in my own mind, as this kind of obedience is what I long to give.

I crawled onto the patio and noticed for the first time that the walls of the patio were plexiglass and could be seen right through. I didn't care though. I was a toy for Goddess and Madame to use, and I would carry out my assignment.

I stuck the cock to the glass door and began to suck it and lick it. I noticed through the glass that inside the room, Madame Vega was once again broadcasting me to the world on snapchat. I rubbed my now free clitty just a little faster. The arousal continued to make me feel sooooo dirty, and I lost track of time sucking the cock. I was sure now there must be a crowd watching me from behind. I didn't care though. I loved every second of my hot and dirty exposure.

Eventually I was allowed to return inside, but my adventures with the cock were not over. I was commanded to take it into the bathroom and suction cup it to the side of the tub. Then I was instructed to start fucking my sissy fuck hole with it. Going up and down and giving Goddess Kimberly and Madame Vega a full sissy fuck hole show. I noticed this too was being broadcast live.

At this point everything came together. I knew THIS was who I was meant to be. I knew that my commitment to be slowly transformed to a true sissy girl was the right one. At that moment I wanted to never put boy clothes on again. To learn to fuck and suck cock anywhere and any time. To be Goddess Kimberly's perfect sissy cuckold.

I wanted to show them both what a dirty girl I could be. I was inspired! When I was finally allowed to stop taking the cock in my fuck hole, I fell to my knees. The cock was in my face, and I did the thing I was drawn to do. I put my mouth on the cock that was just in my fuck hole. I gave it yet another dirty blow job as I thought of what a dirty slut I was becoming.

Eventually, I was allowed to hump to orgasm for Goddess and Madame as I confessed all my dirty sissy desires for the future. I was grateful for the orgasm, but I was so deep in subspace, even post orgasm, I still wanted to be their sissy. It was becoming very, very, real.

FINAL THOUGHTS

To say that this session was an epic event, would be the understatement of a lifetime. I loved everything about it, but I especially loved the way it inspired me. I want to do this again. I want to go deeper into full sissification. I want to be a girl, and a dirty one at that.

As Madame Vega left, I cleaned the room. Eventually Goddess Kimberly and I crawled into bed. I saw her looking at me with a hunger in her eyes. The session had made her as hot as it had me. "I hope your tongue saved some energy Divina", she said as she crawled onto my face with her wet and dripping pussy. "No matter what happens, don't stop until I say." Her first orgasm was almost instant. Her second a few seconds later ... I knew the night was still far from over.

byDivinaTellsAll©