#it's probably for the best that this isnt common knowledge. people shouldnt think about it unless they want to

[winterbirb]

Respectfully, you're wrong. But I used to have the same opinions because, well, I've also been on tumblr for a while. I'll try to go point by point.

1. We also caused death and destruction in Germany. Also, the worst of the damage, such as Aleppo, were Russian or Syrian led airstrikes. But somehow the narrative was changed *sideeyes disinfo farms*

2. Obama was not President in 2001. I would like to beat Cheney to death with my bare hands, I'm not defending him. Furthermore, Obama's M.E. interventions were NOT Cheney-style oil wars. In 2011, Obama made a mistake by intervening in Libya, and he admits it. In his memoir, he talks about how he bowed to TV pressure to be a "decisive leader" (there was also some fuckery with communications?). Of course, no matter how quickly he acted, the media still criticized him, because the conservative establishment is fundamentally anti-Black. Well, he learned. And the interventions in Syria and Iraq were, and I cannot stress this enough, BECAUSE OF ISIS.

3. Yeah, the difference is that we waited almost a decade to intervene against the Nazis. The suggestion that we should have let ISIS develop into a solid state before attacking callously disregards the lives of the Syrians and Iraqis THEY were murdering. Also, they were scattered because we drone striked their leaders :)

4. The Nazis also drafted civilians into their army and killed a lot of civilians. In fact this makes intervention even more important.

5. Stop. Trying. To. Defend. ISIS.

6. The nazis were also, in some ways, America's fault (America caused the great depression that hit Germany, and Hitler took many ideas from US racism). Fighting them was still the right thing to do! I'm serious. Stop trying to be a revisionist about ISIS! And you mentioning Vietnam just plays into my very first point about people not updating their knowledge since the 1970s 😬. Plus, your "better analogies" are much less correct. WTF. Don't compare anti-Israel Palestinians to MOTHERFUCKING ISIS. That's... borderline racist?

7. Um, it looks like a repeated theme is that you straight up don't know anything about the Obama administration and are just assuming they're like every administration before? Which. Was the exact thing my og post was criticizing 😐

8. The trolley problem is a huge debate for a reason - kill one innocent to prevent 5 dying from your inaction - moral or not? And yes! War is messy and dark and people! Die!! In war!! But that doesn't make every US intervention Vietnam! (See OG post about 1970s theory)

9. Yeah look - I'm not here to defend every military action of the Pentagon. Through reading different memoirs, I've realized the internal situation is v complicated. The State Department (led by John Kerry, a man who some military people still hate for his anti-Vietnam protests) was in a lot of conflict w the Pentagon. Look. FDR and JFK both came from political establishment families - FDR's legacy has been torn down for 80 years, and JFK was SHOT. I'm not going to blame Obama for going for the more subtle route of change.

9. He made plenty of effort, you just decided it doesn't exist bc you don't know about it.

10. His "milktoast neoliberalism" isn't what led to Trump - racism is what led to Trump. Do you really think that a bunch of armed white supremacist reactionaries would have reacted any better if the scary black president started implementing evil anti-freedom communism? (Sarcasm. Obviously.)

11. No, people aren't justified in hating Obama, because as shown it comes from a place of mis/disinformation. Of course, they will continue hating him, and there's nothing I can do to change the tides of mass opinion, but that doesn't stop me from complaining about it. In conclusion: This article (from rolling stone of all places) is a really good description of how he AVOIDED intervening in the Syrian civil war after Assad used chem weapons but before ISIS happened. No, I'm serious, if you have the energy, please read it.

Leftist who hates everyone in the Obama administration because of some theory they read published in the 1970s

[shoezuki]

Hey!! Some I’m practicing character design, snd a have some concepts for characters in mind HOWEVER. i wanna make a nonbinary character but I’m cis and I don’t wanna like. Make them accidentally fall under a certain trope?? I don’t know what ideas would be harmful when it comes to nb ocs and which aren’t??? Any tips?

aaaaa yeah np! im sure i can think up some things. ofc, im not like. the Paragon of Nonbinary Knowledge n all that but yeah i know theres some

somethin thats notable of like. any of the Few nonbinary characters in media are always like. nonhuman creatures as well. at face value thats cool like yeah whatev robots n aliens are sick but Also. its kind of like, an association between nonbinary genders and unnatural, fantasy, strange things. Like nb robots Can exist ofc but its somethin to keep in mind, that its an overused and cheap coppout for ‘representation’ while also saying 'theres something nonhuman about enbies’

when referring to a nb characters’ past, Never say something like 'when they were a girl’ or whatever. its better to refer to such as 'before they came out’. (not always applicable to real enbies ofc but cis ppl should never do this w characters or especially ppl)

the Visage that usually is representative of enbies is almost always an androgynously presenting, thin, fair white person that looks more masculine than feminine. thats lame. theres no one way enbies look

to expand on that: theres no One way a nonbinary person looks or presents! some ppl are comfy wearing entirely 'feminine’ clothes or 'masculine’ clothes, some in between or mixing between styles theyre comfy with. theres really no nonbinary 'look’.

dont bring up gender assigned at birth. dont be like 'this person is an afab person!’ especially if its not ever relevant. which like, it never really is? a lot of the time with cis ppl, wanting to point out or know an enbies 'assigned gender at birth’ is basically just asking 'but what is your actual gender’ and thats nobody’s business

all enbies experience their own genders differently. like, how they consider their own gender? but its best to leave in depth exploration of a nb characters’ gender to nb ppl.

in terms of pronouns, they/them is the most common and recognizable for a nonspecific pronoun so thats probably your best bet. although nb ppl Do go by all and any pronouns, sometimes different pronouns according to different situations. (for me, only my family and good friends can call me she/her or he/him because that feels weird otherwise)

nonbinary isnt a 'third’ gender. thats not how shit works. nonbinary is more of an umbrella term for genders that are not completely associated with 'binary’ genders.

dont act like ur character is all 'cool’ and 'hip’ and 'openminded’ for simply being nb. being nonbinary shouldnt be treated like something Radical and Progressive.

dont focus on your nb characters struggles, dysphoria or maybe lack thereof, etc. cis ppl cant really Know first hand what nonbinary struggles are like specifically so you shouldnt write only about them.

theres no way to 'look’ cis or 'look’ nb. like, 'cis passing’ has been thrown at me a lot and its bullcrap. if a person, or a character, is nonbinary, regardless of how they look, then there nonbinary.

and MORESO. the Biggest thing i can think of (besides like. makin nb characters lizard people or something like being inhuman is the Reason theyre able to be nb lmao that sucks) is that theres diversity in how nb people present and are comfortable? some ppl have beards, wear jeans, baggy sweaters, get top surgery, and that doesnt make them 'more like a man’. Some enbies like wearing dressing and makeup and high heels and that doesnt make them 'more like a woman’. Takin or referring to nb characters who might present more masculinely as 'practically a man’ or some sort is really. bad.

if ur nb character is in a relationship, their partner doesnt NEED to be pansexual to date an nb person. thats dumb. Especially if its phrased like pansexuallity is more 'progressive’ because it includes nb ppl.

uuhhhhh yeah thats all that i can think of rn??? again! im not the Paragon of Enby Knowledge and im p isolated in my community from other enbies so like! its always good to do research, look into biographies of nb ppl (academic phrasing in terms of nonbinary stuff is really Impersonal). but as long as you respect nb identities, understand what aspects of nonbinary genders u cant personally know or express, then u should be fine.

[whycantidrawsome1-blog]

In regards to my sad dumb brain

I remember reading some essay from Tolstoy where he was describing his existential crisis, and he said that academic smarty-pants types seemed to be a lot more depressed than the regular, lower class working people. He figured that the working class people were able to be content in conditions far worse than the academics because they were simple minded and had a lot of faith in God. He theorized that their internal monologue must be something like: Doesnt matter if life sucks because its all part of Gods Plan, and il go to heaven when i die so it wont be as shitty as this life on earth. His answer, he thought, was to seek faith (even though he said it was illogical) to create meaning in ones life and not want to kill yourself.

Now this isnt so much to do with the religion aspect, but it feels like he implies that dumb people dont suffer as deeply as smart people. So, im a fucking dumbass, why do i feel like killing myself?

Im certainly no academic, my school performance is not very good, and im pretty sure im dumb. I know that performance in school isnt indicative of someones intelligence, at least that seems to be the the common consensus nowadays, but i feel like it can at least give a general idea of how smart someone is. Its the best tool we have to sorta measure someones abilities.

Usually, when a smart person sucks at school, their intelligence is clearly displayed in some other aspect with something that interests them. Ive met a lot of people like this, where they just cant do school, but even just speaking with them you can tell theres something special goin on in their head. And if not, it doesnt take long to find out they are absolutely amazing at something. Lots of people, not just smart people, have things they are very proficient and knowledgeable about. Not just lots, most people do. I do not.

I am mediocre in school and flat out disappointing in real life. Unlike most other people, my greatest asset is my mediocre school performance. Thats all i have going for me. So, im not smart, odds are im at least a bit below average IQ (if you believe in that sort of thing, that is. i dont really, but it still is the only thing i really know about to generally measure these sorts of things). Then, if one's capacity of depression is proportional to how smart one is, why do i want to die?

Well, there could be multiple reasons:

1. The deepness of ones depression is not proportional to intelligence

2. The required amount of depression to have the desire to kill one's self is low, so a Smart Depression will have a stronger desire to die

3. Im not dumb (the least likely reason)

To me, it makes sense that a simple minded person will have a simple depression. A depression about some specific things, or a general non-suicidal sadness. I may have depression about certain, easily identifiable things, but it does not make it any easier.

After typing out this post, it seems pretty clear that this idea is Gatekeeping depression. Saying that someone shouldnt have the mental capacity to want to kill themselves sounds very elitist. So i wonder why i wanted it to be true? If it were, i guess i wouldnt have to desire to die, which would be nice. I am simple minded, but my depression does not seem to have a simple answer. Or perhaps it does, but, for some reason, a simple solution is being jumbled up so that it is invisible to me. I could also be too stupid to see a clear solution.

When i read my own post, i think the most striking critique from another person would be this: "you're dumb for reasons you dont even know about". I think it hurts the most because it would mean the reason im stupid is because of my own way of thinking and how i investigate my own ideas. So far up my ass that i cannot see the problems in me that are clearly read by anyone else.

This idea originally came to me after reading something online. In the comment, the user said that "academic achievement and acceleration should not be confused with intelligence. It mostly has to do with the fire in one's belly". I thought it was an agreeable and pretty safe opinion, until i read the comment that followed: "if we're not going to call that intelligence, then what is?" It made me realize that my idea of intelligence was not practical. I had transformed the concept of intelligence into something that was useless, because it was so vague. The way i was looking at intelligence would just mean that everyone is intelligent and above average. Thats not really a useful way of thinking about it if it describes everyone, is it?

The real problem, I think, is a huge emphasis I have on intelligence. Whether its due to our culture focusing in on it or whatever, i dont know, but its clear that my thoughts on it show an insecurity. I feel like i have to prove my worth to other people, and that the only way to be deemed worthy is to demonstrate intelligence. I cant demonstrate that. It frustrates me, and makes me feel worthless. If i cant do calculus, do i really have anything to contribute at all? These are things I need to unpack, and it definitely implies that I think artists and social scientists have less worth, which is awful. Even then I am reminded that for most humanities majors, calc 1 and statistics must be passed.

In conclusion: nothing, really. I was wrong, probably. Im still a dumb bitcj and i want to die.

[themoneybuff-blog]

Nine Secrets of Successful Homebuyers

A popular real estate website recently compiled a list of the six habits all successful homebuyers have in common. As someone whos approaching the one-year anniversary of owning my own home, I found the topic fascinating. Not because I possessed so many of the habits outlined. But for the opposite reason. When I purchased my house, I winged it, for the most part. I didnt do a lot of research about the home buying process. I also did not shop around extensively for mortgages, which was mistake number one. Nor did I shop around for real estate agents (lesson learned!), or tour a long list of houses. Though I looked at dozens of properties online, I only did two or three actual walk-throughs before settling on the home I purchased. Reading about the habits of all successful homebuyers, which were mostly financial habits, made me wonder how much different my outcome might have been had I seen the list ahead of time and adopted the behaviors outlined. I also felt the list was far too narrowly focused and left a lot out. While I didnt possess all of the attributes mentioned, I brought other skills to the table that werent included, which helped me successfully purchase a home in Southern California, one of the most competitive and high-priced real estate markets in the country. All of which inspired me to solicit opinions from a broad group of real estate agents from across the country to do my own survey of what makes a successful homebuyer, beyond just the financial habits. Heres what the agents I polled had to say. Secret #1: Successful homebuyers are goal-oriented. One of the top-selling real estate brokers in New York City, Sheila Trichter of Warburg Realtyhas 25 years of experience working in the Manhattan market, another one of the priciest and most competitive places in the country. According to Trichter, the most successful buyers know what they want and they pursue that goal with their actions. That means, Trichter explains, that such buyers are actively working toward their goal regularly, beginning with familiarizing themselves with the market and then staying on top of new listings. They should be regularly looking and know what the market is like, said Trichter. That doesnt mean they need to be on every single real estate app every day, but they need to pay attention. And the more specific a buyer they are, the more they have to pay attention, because things come and go. This skill even applies to first-time homebuyers, says Dana Bull, a Boston area realtor who specializes in helping those new to the buying process. The most important thing I see in first-time buyers, in particular, that makes them successful is their ability to plan and strategize, said Bull. Buyers who get what they want, or recognize a great deal when they see it, are usually those who have spent a lot of time researching the market, including touring a home even if they think its not for them so that theyre completely aware of whats out there, what its selling for, and where the opportunities may lie. Secret #2: Theyre organized, too. Having your act together as a homebuyer takes on many forms, says Snezhana Conway, of Washington D.C.-based Snezhana Homes Group of Keller Williams Capital Properties. Buyers who are organized from the very beginning are attending the homebuyers seminars to learn about the homebuying process, theyre collecting a file of their favorite home styles and amenities, and theyre organized with their personal finances such as tax returns and pay-stubs, said Conway. Being organized also means ensuring your credit score is mortgage-ready well in advance of the purchase, and carefully determining what sort of home budget youre comfortable with, says real estate agent John Myers, of Myers & Myers Real Estate, in Albuquerque, N.M. Having your finances in order makes the homebuying decision much easier, said Myers, noting that this habit allows purchasers to clearly understand exactly how much they want to spend and to stick to that budget. Secret #3: They avoid excess debt and pay bills on time. Another critical note on personal finances: Your credit score will have a huge impact on the mortgage youre able to qualify for, potentially costing (or saving) you tens of thousands of dollars over time. And most lenders want to see a low debt-to-income ratio. So successful homeowners understand that this is not the time to start opening a variety of new credit cards, running up balances, or making late payments on your bills, said Trichter. Running up a lot of debt will make it more difficult to buy a home, explained Trichter. So, successful homebuyers dont go into every store that offers 10% off on a purchase if you get their credit card and open an account. All those [new] credit cards lower your credit score. You dont want to be a person with a credit card in every store in town, thats not really keeping finances in order. And they dont close credit cards, because that lowers your credit score. Secret #4: They stay realistic. Successful homebuyers have sensible expectations and clearly understand what their home needs are. This is not fantasy, this is a reality, said Trichter. Sure, you want to dream and have your home be wonderful, with bells and whistles. But only the bells and whistles you can afford. To that end, its important to define exactly what it is you want and, more importantly, what you actually need, says Michael Schaffer, broker and owner of Denver-based Reason Real Estate. This effort should also include narrowing down the geographic area youll consider to a realistically manageable area. It should not be the entire major metropolitan area, said Schaffer. This way you wont be so overwhelmed with the listings that you wont be able to give adequate consideration to any of them. Ultimately, buyers who understand the concept of balance and keeping their homeownership goals practical will usually make the most rational decisions throughout the buying process, added, Amanda Martin, of Fort Lauderdale-based The Real Estate Shoppe. Secret #5: Theyre not afraid of a certain amount of risk. As with any major financial decision, buying a home presents a certain amount of risk. And while you absolutely need to do your due diligence, Trichter says, successful homebuyers dont dwell on what-ifs or allow doubts to paralyze their decision-making. There are plenty of risks. And people shouldnt take undue risks they should be sure they can afford the house, and that its not sitting on a swamp, Trichter said. But there are certain people who say What if the sky falls in? What if theres a terrorist attack? What if the banks fail? Buying a home involves some risk, and you need to be comfortable with that. Secret #6: Theyre careful about choosing a real estate agent. Dont make the same mistake I did and choose the first real estate agent who comes along. In my case, that decision turned into a nightmare worthy of another story. If I had to do it again, I probably would have listened to the recommendations of good friends who provided glowing reviews of Realtors they had worked with, because my personal belief is that a recommendation from a friend whos had a good experience is invaluable. Gary Lucido, president of Chicago-based Lucid Realty, says a real estate agent should have certain key attributes. Get a really smart Realtor. Not the top producer. Not a self-proclaimed neighborhood expert. Not someone with signs all over the neighborhood. Not a neighbor, relative, or friend. But someone who is resourceful, knowledgeable, and responsive, said Lucido. Secret #7: They shop for a mortgage early. Mortgage shopping should be done early in the search process, not after youve laid eyes on the home you absolutely must have. For one thing, getting preapproved helps you know for sure how much house you can afford. And in a competitive housing market, youll generally need a letter of preapproval from your lender if you want to stand a chance in a multiple-offer situation. Plus, shopping for a mortgage before you absolutely need one will give you time to find the very best rates. Once you have a contract, you need to move quickly to get your mortgage, and you dont have time to shop around, said Lucido. Embarking on mortgage shopping early also allows buyers time to thoroughly educate themselves about the various types of financial products available, noted Luke Babich, co-founder of the nationwide referral brokerage Clever Real Estate, and a licensed real estate agent in Missouri. Secret #8: They set aside enough time for house hunting. The market moves fast, and buying a house isnt like picking out a new coffeemaker on Amazon. So if youre serious about your search, Conway says, its a good idea to budget time every week or weekend to see homes. Schedule the time in advance with your real estate agent, she adds. No last-minute frantic calls to try to squeeze showings in. Secret #9: They think long-term. When searching for a home, think about where you might want to be in five, 10, or 20 years, and how this purchase might help get you there, says Bull. A great buy thats not a long-term fit might be perfect for now and make a fantastic rental down the road or allow you to sell high and upgrade, said Bull. Having that vision helps buyers make informed decisions. The Bottom Line This is by no means an exhaustive list. But nearly all the Realtors I spoke to agreed that there are indeed some fairly consistent habits among home buyers who are ultimately the most successful. And while having your finances in order is a tremendous help, being organized, informed, prepared, and engaged during a home search will also play a vital role in making your homebuying experience a good one. These habits are important because a real estate transaction can take all the time you have and can be at times stressful, said Conway. And by starting smart and making the right choices, you can eliminate or reduce those instances of fatigue, failure, or heartbreak, including missed dream homes, broken contracts, unethical Realtors, and not being ready to buy financially and emotionally. Read more: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/five-secrets-of-successful-home-buyers/

[viralhottopics]

How to stop arguing and actually change someone’s mind on social media

There are ways to get your point across more effectively. Avoid shouting into the abyss and follow these steps to become a master persuader

Whenever a major story breaks in the social media age, from the supreme court judgement on article 50 to the news that roast potatoes can apparently cause cancer it sparks a heated debate. And in this post-truth world of alternative facts even the US president conducts his battles on Twitter. But what if youre less interested in just shouting your view and actually want to try to change peoples minds?

The basics

Is there a way to argue more effectively on social media? Yes, there is, says Sean Jones, an employment and sports law QC, but we might need to change our tactics. He suggests learning from his mistakes. Before I became a barrister, I was convinced I was brilliant at argument, says Jones. I found that a relentless condescension, refusal to concede any point and a tireless determination to prolong the dispute reliably wore out opponents. They walked away leaving me the victor.

Sounds like a lot of debate online? Thats not surprising. Bullying people into silence, as can happen on Twitter, turns out to be a very poor way to persuade them you are right, he says. I soon realised that my job was about persuading people.

To do this, we can to follow a simple formula that works for arguments and then apply it to social media. Lady Helena Kennedy QC says: I always think the best way to make an argument is to use the acronym Prep. Position, example, reason, repeat position.

Position

So, first, Jones says, ask yourself what is the point of the argument. Generally, you want to end up stood together on common ground, so look for what common ground exists and go from there. Next, lead with your best point. Lawrence Winston, head of litigation at law firm Squire Patton Boggs, says: Keep it as simple as possible. The more detailed you make it, the more punch youll take out of your point. Once the debate has got going, keep focused and dont be repetitive. Dont send 20 tweets saying the same thing.

And dont get distracted. Deal with one point at a time. People who feel a pillar of their argument crumbling will leap to another. Make sure a move to a different point is acknowledged, adds Jones.

Example

Be prepared to be the one answering questions and justifying your view, ideally with facts and figures. Many Twitter exchanges begin with an arm-wrestle over who must justify their position, continues Jones. If your position is justified, dont be afraid to accept the burden. In fact, taking that more confident approach can help, even if you dont know your facts, according to research. A study published in the journal Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes suggests people will believe a confident speaker before they believe someone more knowledgeable. However, it is better to engage only when you know your case. Dont bluff or seem to be an expert on things you dont know you need to have at least some relevant facts or experience, says Joanne Harris, bestselling author and active Twitter user..

Reason/and be reasonable to others

Make your main point and then add to your argument with short additions to further the debate. Winston says: Sending bullet points can be more effective than a series of tweets with a longer message and make sure you stay credible.

If anyones reacting badly, remember that they may be misinterpreting you even if you try and make it clearer by adding emoticons, says Dr Sam Roberts, senior lecturer in psychology at Chester University. The people you are arguing with cant see your facial expressions or hear the tone of your voice. People cant always tell if youre being lighthearted or voicing a serious belief. So, aim for clarity, he says, and explain what you meant.

Remember, however, that occasionally your opponent will be engaging with you just for a reaction and it goes without saying that you shouldnt get personal, even if youre provoked. Bear in mind that you may be dealing with someone with mental health issues, says Harris. So do no harm. And dont say anything to anyone that you wouldnt say to them directly. Shouting on Twitter isnt the same as shouting at the TV.

Repeat position

When youve made your points, repeat your position and move on. Much of the debate on Twitter is never resolved and the chances are your exchange will probably end before they have been persuaded. Be courteous and thank them for talking. You are more likely to resume constructively, says Jones. If your debate is not going well, learn to spot when its pointless continuing. Harris says: Bear in mind that however much you try, some people will never listen. Dont waste too much time with these people.

Remember that if someone keeps tweeting you, you dont have to respond. You could consider blocking them, ignoring them or if all else fails, send them one of Joness Error Codes.

Selective exposure

If youre serious about being really open-minded, you might need to check your followers. People on Twitter suffer from what researchers call selective exposure. In conflicts, users are more willing to share and to communicate with their ideological friends than foes, according to a study from the Pennsylvania State University [PDF]. This is where you are surrounded by those who agree with you and your views become entrenched.

Follow people who disagree with you and listen to them, concludes Jones. An advocate wants every aspect of their case tested. And you never know, it might be you wholl ends up convinced.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2kDToWP

from How to stop arguing and actually change someone’s mind on social media

[themoneybuff-blog]

Nine Secrets of Successful Homebuyers

A popular real estate website recently compiled a list of the six habits all successful homebuyers have in common. As someone whos approaching the one-year anniversary of owning my own home, I found the topic fascinating. Not because I possessed so many of the habits outlined. But for the opposite reason. When I purchased my house, I winged it, for the most part. I didnt do a lot of research about the home buying process. I also did not shop around extensively for mortgages, which was mistake number one. Nor did I shop around for real estate agents (lesson learned!), or tour a long list of houses. Though I looked at dozens of properties online, I only did two or three actual walk-throughs before settling on the home I purchased. Reading about the habits of all successful homebuyers, which were mostly financial habits, made me wonder how much different my outcome might have been had I seen the list ahead of time and adopted the behaviors outlined. I also felt the list was far too narrowly focused and left a lot out. While I didnt possess all of the attributes mentioned, I brought other skills to the table that werent included, which helped me successfully purchase a home in Southern California, one of the most competitive and high-priced real estate markets in the country. All of which inspired me to solicit opinions from a broad group of real estate agents from across the country to do my own survey of what makes a successful homebuyer, beyond just the financial habits. Heres what the agents I polled had to say. Secret #1: Successful homebuyers are goal-oriented. One of the top-selling real estate brokers in New York City, Sheila Trichter of Warburg Realtyhas 25 years of experience working in the Manhattan market, another one of the priciest and most competitive places in the country. According to Trichter, the most successful buyers know what they want and they pursue that goal with their actions. That means, Trichter explains, that such buyers are actively working toward their goal regularly, beginning with familiarizing themselves with the market and then staying on top of new listings. They should be regularly looking and know what the market is like, said Trichter. That doesnt mean they need to be on every single real estate app every day, but they need to pay attention. And the more specific a buyer they are, the more they have to pay attention, because things come and go. This skill even applies to first-time homebuyers, says Dana Bull, a Boston area realtor who specializes in helping those new to the buying process. The most important thing I see in first-time buyers, in particular, that makes them successful is their ability to plan and strategize, said Bull. Buyers who get what they want, or recognize a great deal when they see it, are usually those who have spent a lot of time researching the market, including touring a home even if they think its not for them so that theyre completely aware of whats out there, what its selling for, and where the opportunities may lie. Secret #2: Theyre organized, too. Having your act together as a homebuyer takes on many forms, says Snezhana Conway, of Washington D.C.-based Snezhana Homes Group of Keller Williams Capital Properties. Buyers who are organized from the very beginning are attending the homebuyers seminars to learn about the homebuying process, theyre collecting a file of their favorite home styles and amenities, and theyre organized with their personal finances such as tax returns and pay-stubs, said Conway. Being organized also means ensuring your credit score is mortgage-ready well in advance of the purchase, and carefully determining what sort of home budget youre comfortable with, says real estate agent John Myers, of Myers & Myers Real Estate, in Albuquerque, N.M. Having your finances in order makes the homebuying decision much easier, said Myers, noting that this habit allows purchasers to clearly understand exactly how much they want to spend and to stick to that budget. Secret #3: They avoid excess debt and pay bills on time. Another critical note on personal finances: Your credit score will have a huge impact on the mortgage youre able to qualify for, potentially costing (or saving) you tens of thousands of dollars over time. And most lenders want to see a low debt-to-income ratio. So successful homeowners understand that this is not the time to start opening a variety of new credit cards, running up balances, or making late payments on your bills, said Trichter. Running up a lot of debt will make it more difficult to buy a home, explained Trichter. So, successful homebuyers dont go into every store that offers 10% off on a purchase if you get their credit card and open an account. All those [new] credit cards lower your credit score. You dont want to be a person with a credit card in every store in town, thats not really keeping finances in order. And they dont close credit cards, because that lowers your credit score. Secret #4: They stay realistic. Successful homebuyers have sensible expectations and clearly understand what their home needs are. This is not fantasy, this is a reality, said Trichter. Sure, you want to dream and have your home be wonderful, with bells and whistles. But only the bells and whistles you can afford. To that end, its important to define exactly what it is you want and, more importantly, what you actually need, says Michael Schaffer, broker and owner of Denver-based Reason Real Estate. This effort should also include narrowing down the geographic area youll consider to a realistically manageable area. It should not be the entire major metropolitan area, said Schaffer. This way you wont be so overwhelmed with the listings that you wont be able to give adequate consideration to any of them. Ultimately, buyers who understand the concept of balance and keeping their homeownership goals practical will usually make the most rational decisions throughout the buying process, added, Amanda Martin, of Fort Lauderdale-based The Real Estate Shoppe. Secret #5: Theyre not afraid of a certain amount of risk. As with any major financial decision, buying a home presents a certain amount of risk. And while you absolutely need to do your due diligence, Trichter says, successful homebuyers dont dwell on what-ifs or allow doubts to paralyze their decision-making. There are plenty of risks. And people shouldnt take undue risks they should be sure they can afford the house, and that its not sitting on a swamp, Trichter said. But there are certain people who say What if the sky falls in? What if theres a terrorist attack? What if the banks fail? Buying a home involves some risk, and you need to be comfortable with that. Secret #6: Theyre careful about choosing a real estate agent. Dont make the same mistake I did and choose the first real estate agent who comes along. In my case, that decision turned into a nightmare worthy of another story. If I had to do it again, I probably would have listened to the recommendations of good friends who provided glowing reviews of Realtors they had worked with, because my personal belief is that a recommendation from a friend whos had a good experience is invaluable. Gary Lucido, president of Chicago-based Lucid Realty, says a real estate agent should have certain key attributes. Get a really smart Realtor. Not the top producer. Not a self-proclaimed neighborhood expert. Not someone with signs all over the neighborhood. Not a neighbor, relative, or friend. But someone who is resourceful, knowledgeable, and responsive, said Lucido. Secret #7: They shop for a mortgage early. Mortgage shopping should be done early in the search process, not after youve laid eyes on the home you absolutely must have. For one thing, getting preapproved helps you know for sure how much house you can afford. And in a competitive housing market, youll generally need a letter of preapproval from your lender if you want to stand a chance in a multiple-offer situation. Plus, shopping for a mortgage before you absolutely need one will give you time to find the very best rates. Once you have a contract, you need to move quickly to get your mortgage, and you dont have time to shop around, said Lucido. Embarking on mortgage shopping early also allows buyers time to thoroughly educate themselves about the various types of financial products available, noted Luke Babich, co-founder of the nationwide referral brokerage Clever Real Estate, and a licensed real estate agent in Missouri. Secret #8: They set aside enough time for house hunting. The market moves fast, and buying a house isnt like picking out a new coffeemaker on Amazon. So if youre serious about your search, Conway says, its a good idea to budget time every week or weekend to see homes. Schedule the time in advance with your real estate agent, she adds. No last-minute frantic calls to try to squeeze showings in. Secret #9: They think long-term. When searching for a home, think about where you might want to be in five, 10, or 20 years, and how this purchase might help get you there, says Bull. A great buy thats not a long-term fit might be perfect for now and make a fantastic rental down the road or allow you to sell high and upgrade, said Bull. Having that vision helps buyers make informed decisions. The Bottom Line This is by no means an exhaustive list. But nearly all the Realtors I spoke to agreed that there are indeed some fairly consistent habits among home buyers who are ultimately the most successful. And while having your finances in order is a tremendous help, being organized, informed, prepared, and engaged during a home search will also play a vital role in making your homebuying experience a good one. These habits are important because a real estate transaction can take all the time you have and can be at times stressful, said Conway. And by starting smart and making the right choices, you can eliminate or reduce those instances of fatigue, failure, or heartbreak, including missed dream homes, broken contracts, unethical Realtors, and not being ready to buy financially and emotionally. Read more: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/five-secrets-of-successful-home-buyers/