#it's on ao3 too now however links are for suckers so just search pinkmagnolias on ao3 and you should find it easily enough

[acanvasofabillionsuns]

please don’t love me back

Summary: Reciprocation is usually the desired outcome of a confession. Usually. Warnings: innuendo and some graphic imagery courtesy of remus, self deprecation Wordcount: 1109

“Hey, Remus?” Virgil calls softly, knocking on his door. He barely taps it, but it creaks open ominously anyway. Perfect. Just what his nerves need.

“Virge-a-lirge-a-ding-dong!” Remus cheers, vanishing what looks like (but almost certainly isn’t) a ball of yarn and jumping down from his ceiling fan. “What brings you here?”

Virgil steps inside and the door slams shut behind him. He thinks about leaving, turning around before it’s too late to back out, but it probably is too late, judging from every self-opening door ever slamming and locking automatically as soon as the protagonists step inside. And anyway, Remus is already chattering away and examining him eagerly, and Virgil has too much social anxiety (and just anxiety in general) to leave in the middle of someone talking.

“Love the outfit change up! Purple’s said to boost creativity and imagination, you know.” Remus does a little shoulder shimmy and winks at him. “So, y’know, if you ever wanna—”

“I wanted to tell you something!” Virgil rushes out before he can finish. Remus doesn’t seem to mind, eyes lighting up with interest.

“Oh? And what could everyone’s favorite emo have to tell me?”

“I...” Virgil bites his lip.

“Cat got your tongue? Ooh, can you imagine? That would be so cool! And then you choke on it, because it’s a cat and you can’t breathe through it. Ooh, or it’s dangling out of your mouth and it’s too heavy so it rips off your tongue and then you can’t talk anymore!” Remus conjures up a picture book and a neon green highlighter and scribbles the idea down on the pages. He snaps it shut and tosses it over his shoulder, ignoring the screech that prompts. “Do you want me to guess what it is? I’ve got so many ideas; I bet I could totally guess what it is!”

“No, I just need to say it,” Virgil tells him, and takes a minute to gather his courage. Just gotta do it, like ripping off a band-aid. He told the light sides his name, he can tell Remus “I’minlovewithyou!”

Remus’s face brightens and he stands up straighter. “Great! I—”

“Please don’t love me back!” 

Remus deflates. “Why not?”

“Because,” Virgil says. “Because I’m one of the light sides now, for one, and—”

“Screw the light sides!” Remus declares. “No, really, I’ll screw them. Would that make you feel better? I’ll totally do it.”

“Please don’t.”

“Alright,” Remus sighs. “But was that it? Because you know the separating sides thing is stupid and doesn’t actually matter and if the lights don’t accept you loving me then they’re not very good people, right? So we can totally get together if you want!”

“That’s... sweet, but not the point.”

“What is the point? A sword? Two swords? A sword fight? Orrrr a sword fight without swords, if you know what I mean?” Remus wiggles his eyebrows furiously.

“No,” Virgil sighs. “The point is that I’m me and you’re,” he gestures to Remus “you, and if we get together it’s only a matter of time before you realize I’m dragging you down and you don’t really love me, so it’s easier if I just tell you and then we ignore it and move on with our lives.”

Remus frowns. “What if I don’t want to ignore it?”

“Too bad; I do,” Virgil tells him, and turns to leave. True to horror movies, the door’s locked. “Remus, open the door!”

“But I’m not done talking to you! It’s rude to leave in the middle of a conversation.”

He’s right and Virgil knows it but he also doesn’t particularly care anymore, embarrassed and defensive and jittery and done with this conversation. “Fine,” he sighs. “Finish what you were saying, and then let me leave so we can put this conversation behind us already and forget it happened.”

“But what if I don’t want to forget it happened?” Remus asks. “What if I think you’re wonderful and super hot and I actually do love you and if we got together you’d only build me up and make me the happiest side ever?”

Virgil eyes him doubtfully. “It can’t be that easy.”

“What if it is, though?” Remus asks. “What if it is and we get together and it goes better than either of us dreamed? What if it isn’t and we get together and burn so bright we shrivel into tiny pieces of ash? Wouldn’t you rather find out than stay stagnant, wondering what would’ve happened if you’d said yes?”

Virgil frowns, hunching his shoulders. “Yes to what?” There hadn’t been a yes or no question asked, had there?

“Me asking you to being my boyfriend.”

“But... you haven’t asked that?” Virgil flips through his memory, and yeah, no; it’d been implied, but never outright asked.

“Will you be my boyfriend?” Remus rectifies that immediately, and now Virgil has to make a choice, darn it. He’s terrible at choices. Especially this one.

Remus waits patiently for about ten seconds before prompting, “You gonna say yes and let yourself be happy, or say no because you’re too scared and let yourself stagnate like an abandoned kiddie pool filled with water that slowly deflates as it’s left outside until it’s infested with mosquitoes and anyone who touches it’ll get some sort of disease?”

“I...” Virgil throws his arms up in a ‘why not’ kind of half shrug. “Sure.”

“Hell yeah!” Remus cheers, punching the air in celebration. His arms stretch upwards until they punch through the ceiling. Remus looks up. “Well, that felt crunchy!”

Virgil stifles a grin. 

Remus starts punching more holes into the ceiling, and he looks—really cute—like he’s having a good time with that, so Virgil will just go back to his room now. Think about what just happened. Maybe scream into a pillow about it.

“I’m gonna...” Virgil jerks his thumb at the door, hoping Remus will get the hint and unlock it.

“Oh!” Remus says, and his arms shrink back down to normal length with a slurping sound. He disappears and pops back into being directly in front of Virgil. “Before you go, I wanted to do this!”

Virgil half-expects him to start making out with him or something, but instead Remus cradles his face gently and softly kisses his forehead.

“I love you too, my deliciously dark emo boyfriend,” Remus murmurs.

Virgil blushes, dark enough that it’s definitely showing through his foundation, and Remus hops back, flipping off the door. It swings open. “Bye, Vee! See you later~”

“Bye, Remus,” Virgil says, smiling fondly at him before beating a hasty retreat.

He’s definitely going to be screaming into a pillow about this.