#it's nothing new though our squad has had super big gaps in it for a while now

[torunarigha]

@spreeathen​ was hab ich verpasst......

Lmao I just looked at herthas squad rn, and so far they have

6 goal keepers (1 is suspended tho)

8 center backs

1 left back

4 right backs

1 defensive midfielder

1 central midfielder

3 left wingers

4 right wingers

And 8 center forwards

???????

[aion-rsa]

Why Werewolves Within Isn’t Your Typical Werewolf Movie

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

The small town of Beaverfield is much like many others across the nation in 2021. There is political polarization, longtime residents suspicious of newcomers, a stark wealth gap, infidelity, gossip, and at least one guy who is either a scary loner or just wants to be left the hell alone. But in the new film Werewolves Within what really sets Beaverfield apart is their lycanthrope problem.

Based loosely on the multiplayer Ubisoft VR game of the same name, the film — which is now playing in theaters and hits Digital Rental & VOD on July 2 — is a horror-comedy whodunit where a handful of locals are locked down during a winter storm while a monster hides amongst them.

Directed by Josh Ruben (Scare Me) with a script by novelist Mishna Wolff (I’m Down), Werewolves Within shares cinematic DNA with Clue and Knives Out on the mystery side, as well as The Thing and An American Werewolf in London on the horror end, with a little Fargo thrown in for good measure.

The audience enters the world of Beaverfield through the POV of plucky pushover Finn (Sam Richardson from Veep), the new forest ranger in town before introducing Cecily (Milana Vayntrub, Die Hart), a welcoming postal worker hungry for a new person to meet. Through her, a cast of quirky townsfolk come into focus as the storm approaches, and everyone bickers over the proposed oil pipeline that will bring in big money but is environmentally devastating. And that’s before the corpse is discovered.

What makes the mystery of Werewolves Within especially fun is Beaverfield’s residents are played by a roster of character actors who bounce off one another in the way the cast of Clue did: Harvey Guillén (What We Do In The Shadows), George Basil (Crashing), Sarah Burns (Barry), Michael Chernus (Tommy), Catherine Curtin (Orange is the New Black), Wayne Duvall (The Hunt), Rebecca Henderson (Russian Doll), Cheyenne Jackson (30 Rock), Michaela Watkins (Brittany Runs A Marathon), Glenn Fleshler (True Detective).

Ruben and Wolff joined Den of Geek for a Paranormal Pop Culture Hour to discuss their collaboration on the video game adaptation. In the following interview, they likewise talk of a shared love of werewolf flicks, as well as why murder mysteries and creature features go hand-in-paw.

Note: Quotes edited lightly for clarity and length

What were the werewolves you loved growing up? Mishna, since your last name is Wolff, I think that entitles you to go first.

Mishna Wolff: There’s so many. Joe Dante’s The Howling, for sure. Definitely Wolfen, starring Albert Finney. That’s a great werewolf story. He’s actually wasted in that movie, as well. I would say Silver Bullet has a fun kids’ story in it. 

Obviously, An American Werewolf in London, but I was always like, “More decaying humans! Can we get more decaying humans on the screen?” I feel like he uses them so sparingly. I could’ve done twice as many decaying humans.

Josh, what scratched your lycanthropic itch?

Josh Ruben: Clawed, even. I mean, the first one that really hit me was the guy in Monster Squad. He was a blue collar, everyday fellow who you really seem to feel his excruciating pain and torment, and that really hit me. There was something about the kids that kind of went after all the entities in that movie, but the werewolf in that one was particularly terrifying, and so much of it came through his performance. I think between him and the one in Silver Bullet, ridiculous as it ultimately ended up looking, that is a dreadful — as in a good dreadful — terrifying film. It really felt like what would really happen if you and your drunk uncle had to take on a lycan. 

Later in life, my most recent favorite is Late Phases. I think that movie is so good. It’s so brilliant, and it’s also a Hudson Valley production. I was shocked by how much I loved that one. That’s a new fave.

Video game adaptations are so often not very good movies. So what was your approach? Was it to just sort of toss away the entire game? What elements do you think were important to preserve from the VR game?

Mishna Wolff: The feel. I mean, I feel like that was always the thing. All screenwriters who you talk to about adaptations, and they talk about, “What do you owe the source material?” I think you owe it the feel, and I feel like certainly, in the midpoint of the movie, when everyone’s huddled in the inn and they’re trying to ferret out who the werewolf is, it does feel like that video game, even though it’s a different era.

How did you set out to play with archetypes and the role women often play in these films?

Mishna Wolff: The movie started out with a lot of thinking about archetypes. I happen to love movies with pretty clearly-drawn archetypes. I like archetypes. I feel like it’s reassuring when you walk into a movie and you feel like “Oh, I know who that guy is.” 

I like upsetting archetypes and having little things be different about the archetype than you expect, but feminism certainly plays a role in those archetypes and women in film haven’t always been given life and death stakes, so that was a huge thing that I was thinking of.

Josh, in Scare Me, there is a werewolf sequence. Was that in a strange way, a being a bit of an audition of sorts for Werewolves Within as your second feature?

Josh Ruben: I think it ended up being the case in Scare Me because it is the creature that freaks me out the most and that story, silly as it is, the first one out in Scare Me, is an idea I’ve had in the back of my head forever that just kind of collects cobwebs. It’s all crazy coincidence, and I’m happy to find my brand in recessed shadows, creatures in the dark and quirky, emasculated human beings. I think I’d be fine to tell those stories again and again.

Why do werewolves and murder mysteries pair well?

Josh Ruben: Going back to Silver Bullet, you have that priest character who, once it was revealed he was the big bad, it became that digging your fingernails into your knees, like “Oh my God, they have no idea they’re in the presence of this awful thing.” That’s terrifying, more so than a vampire or pretty much anything else. It’s the true movie monster, where they can walk amongst us during the day and be our brother, best friend, mother, father, whatever, but turn out to be the most violent thing, and terrifying thing imaginable.

And we can all have a monster within?

Josh Ruben: It makes sense, in the allegory of it all. In a film like this, everyone can be implicated. The allegory and theme of it all is, we all have violent, dreadful thoughts every once in a while when pushed to our limits. Even Sam’s character, as wonderful a protagonist as he is, he’s pushed to his limit, as well. Every character could have reason to be a werewolf, hence the wonderful mystery of it all, but it played lockstep for me. It’s a testament to Mishna’s incredible work. I just opened it and was just like, this feels like Arachnophobia and Fargo.

Sam Richardson’s Finn is the new ranger in town and he’s a nice guy. But there’s the notion that either nice guys finish last, or nice guys are too good to be true. So why are we so against nice guys?

Mishna Wolff: Well, yeah, a person can be too good to be true. There’s a couple of nice guys in this movie that are suspicious, and the reason Finn is such a nice guy is because the movie that we fashioned is his worst nightmare. He’s afraid of conflict, he’s a nice guy and he’s about to enter the epicenter of meanness. This movie’s designed to torture him and break him, and it almost does.

Josh Ruben: Nice guys have werewolves within them, mean guys have werewolves within them. Oh, it’s just fascinating to play with the archetype because I think Bundy was a nice guy, at least in his circle, and Gacy, so it’s fun to play with those kind of expectations. There’s a wonderful moment, without giving anything away, where even this wonderful protagonist reaches a breaking point where he has to match everyone else and it should raise the question “Well, shit, could it be the nicest character of all?”

Was there any version of this movie where there may not have been an actual werewolf?

Mishna Wolff: No. I thought about going there and just having it be more cerebral and meta, but I always start everything with the end in mind. Josh was super collaborative, and he had some tweaks on the ending. The werewolf is the werewolf, and that didn’t change, but he made some really nice changes to the ending and I thought it worked really quite well.

Josh, what did you discover about the challenges of tackling a werewolf movie where you’re ultimately going to have to show the monster?

Josh Ruben: When it came down to the werewolf, it’s like, “Well, we don’t need to see skin breaking, we know what this is going to be, we can evoke that visceral transformation and the terror of it all, but let’s just get to it.” At that point, when it came to the werewolf itself, it was nothing too extravagant. It was just like, “Oh shit, this is going to happen.” 

Also, within the mythology of this character and this thing, and how fast it killed, it was fun to think about it having control over its changing as part of its, again, mythology and how it went about its business.

Mishna Wolff: That was such a conversation in the room, too, about, “Can it control? It can’t control? How come it can control? What kind of … ” It’s like “Doesn’t matter. Trust me.”

Josh Ruben: No one will be writing mean letters if they’re along for the ride, if they feel taken care of, whether the claws retract or extend, whether they change quickly or not, it’s just got to be a fun ride.

Mishna Wolff: I think the creature features that Josh and I grew up loving were always done a little bit on the cheap with the exception of maybe The Thing and Alien, which were really crazy expensive, but I think that’s part of the fun of the creature feature, to me at least

Josh, with Scare Me, you used the word “incel,” which you filmed before it was part of our lexicon. Now, this is neighbor against neighbor, people are either hiding the truth or rejecting it, and there is the idea that being grouped together can lead to your own death. You could not have predicted the relevancy of this, so how is it landing for you now?

Josh Ruben: It’s pretty phenomenal when people like Michaela Watkins improvise a line like “Antifa.” You think “Oh, that’s going to be the shelf-life joke that will end up on the cutting room floor.” And no, it remains to be one of the more relevant pieces of the film and of this character. 

I mean, she’s a Karen. She was a Karen before the Karen thing. With incel, it’s funny, too, because Aya Cash was the first one. She improvised that line, “What are you, an incel?” I didn’t know what the word meant and Fred quite was.

It’s unfortunate how relevant it is, but I’m thrilled that it is because I’d like to think that the film is a ride so, hopefully, regardless of what people take away from it, regardless of the relevance of it all, I’d like to think that it’s coming out at a time where, after the trauma of it all, from the insurrect-y through the pandem-y, that people can at least forget the trauma of the past 16 and a half months and sort of go for the ride. We’re offering less bleak fare; we’re offering more fun fare coming out of this dark chapter, but it’s both wonderful and terrifying that it’s so relevant and will remain to be. There will always be people who are narrow-minded in small corners of the world and narrow-minded in the most liberal corners of the world, as well. The newcomers are no better than the townies, in some cases, in many cases in the film. Mishna Wolff: I think we were banking that people would be ready to laugh at everything that’s gone on, at this point, that people would be ready … Can we make fun of it now? Is it too soon? No?

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Werewolves Within is in theaters now, and will be available on Digital Rental & VOD July 2, 2021

The post Why Werewolves Within Isn’t Your Typical Werewolf Movie appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3haodRW

[coffeefairy]

Partners - Chapter 6

Thanks to everyone who has shown this story so much love recently, it’s been super inspiring to see you’re enjoying! In recognition, here’s chapter six! If you need to catch up, start from the beginning here

         Title: Partners

Fandom: Once Upon a Time

Pairing: Red Cricket and tiny bit of Rumbelle, mentions of Swanfire, Snowing and Mad Whale.

Rating: Not for kiddies. Mentions of violence and darker themes.

Plot: Cop!Archie and FBI Agent!Ruby AU. When Special Agent Ruby Lucas is  assigned to lead a taskforce to assist the Boston Police Department she  is not immediately impressed with her new partner, Detective Archie  Hopper. But first impressions can be misleading and sometimes opposites  can be the best match.

As the next week passed, Archie would find that more and more evenings, Ruby would come to his place after work. Though she hadn’t said, he got the impression she disliked her hotel room. He found he didn’t mind having her around. She had an innate feeling for how to put him at ease and he couldn’t deny it was nice to have another person around. Pongo enjoyed it as well, finding a new friend in Ruby. So most days they when they finished, they’d go to his place, cook together or order in. Sometimes they read, the agent taking advantage of his well-stocked bookshelf, or watch a movie. She’d introduced him to Netflix and they’d spent a few evenings bingeing on a whole season of some show or other.

He learned a bit more about her, finding out she adored Thai food, liked historical novels and preferred horror movies. Her i-Pod collection contained a lot of names he didn’t know but found he mostly didn’t mind. When she was off duty she liked to pull her hair into a messy ponytail and lounge around in her sweats. And she didn’t snore. The first time she’d stayed over they had been going over the case until late and she had fallen asleep on the couch. He hadn’t had the heart to wake her, knowing full well how little she already slept, so he’d put a blanket over her and let her stay. Now she’d remain a few times a week, cuddling with Pongo who was delighted to have someone allowing him to sleep on their bed.

The proximity, day and night, at work and at home, made them comfortable with each other, growing close at a pace Archie had never experienced before. He was normally slow to trust, a result of his fractured childhood, but the link to Ruby had been as quickly forged as it seemed unbreakable. It surprised him, and it surprised him it didn’t bother him more. They had to be naturally suited to be partners.

It was a Saturday, one they had decided to not go into the office for, and rain was drizzling outside, pattering against the window. Ruby was wearing a big woolly jumper, leggings and thick socks, a cup of tea in her hands and a case file open on her lap.

Working on his laptop across from her, he was contemplating a break. They could re-heat some of the food from last night, maybe read something fun for a while after. Rest their brains.

Then Ruby put the file aside, stood. With her tea cup in her hands, she looked out the window for a minute, turned away. Paced, then returned to the window. Sensing there was something she wanted to say, he just waited.

“You’ve never asked why...Why I am the way I am.”

“What way do you mean?” “Don’t play ignorant. I know people find me...cold. Distant.”

“I don’t think you’re cold, Ruby.”

“No?” She gave a mirthless laugh.

“No. I think you’re reserved. I think you…” he weighed his words carefully. “I think you were hurt and you’re trying not to be again.”

She smiled humorlessly and looked out the window. “Almost. I hurt someone. And I’m trying not to do it again.”

“How do you mean?”

She edged to sit on the windowseat, her knee bent and almost touching her chin.

“I...I was in the Army, I don’t know if you know.”

He nodded. “It was in your file.”

“Right.” She looked away and sipped her tea. “I did two tours. There was...I don’t know, I don’t think you can explain what it was like.”

He didn’t interrupt or prod and she relaxed a little.

“In my platoon there was a man...A man I cared for. A man I...loved. Peter.” She rubbed a hand over her face. “It was against regs, he was under my command but we...we didn’t care. It was love at first sight. Nothing else mattered.”

Archie shifted in his seat, wanting to reach out to comfort her. But he knew there was nothing he could say. He could hear in her voice Peter wasn’t in the world anymore.

“He..died. He died because of me.”

She looked out the window again and knowing she wouldn’t be comfortable with him getting closer, Archie tried to stifle the impulse to hold her in his arms.

“It was my fault.” She drew a deep breath. “We had orders. We were in enemy territory and we had clear instructions. Peter did everything he should. But I...I saw a child. A little girl. She was just standing there and I couldn’t help it. I went to save her. I put the whole squad in danger. Risked our hold in the region. Peter, he...he covered me when he saw it and because of it he was caught in the the crossfire. He was just 23.”

Seconds ticked by and Archie waited for Ruby to come back from the memories that had taken her. In a few minutes she looked at him for the first time since she started the story, her eyes glittering and the gaze tortured by guilt.

“Do you think I’m a monster? Do you think I killed the man I loved?”

“No.” Archie stood, walked over to kneel in front of her where she could see him clearly. “No,” he repeated.

“I killed someone.”

Gently he put his hands on her arms. “Ruby, you saved someone. Whoever shot Peter is his killer, not you. You put a little girl first and it’s how it should be.”

“Not for a soldier.”

“Then maybe for a minute you were human first.”

She brushed her hands over her eyes, smudging tear tracks of salt and kohl.

“I just miss him so much, Archie.”

“You’re allowed to, Ruby. You’re allowed to feel.”

Tears fell from her eyes unhindered and Archie didn’t hesitate to wrap her in his arms for a hug. She sank against him until they sat on the floor, rocking her gently. He didn’t know for how long they sat, with him holding her, just stroking his hand over her back, her hair, mumbling gently. But slowly her sobs subsided and faded into shaky sighs. He loosened his hold and she wiped tears from her cheeks.

“I’m...sorry about that. I don’t know what got into me.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Ruby.”

“I’ve cried more since I met you than I have in the last five years.”

“I’m glad.”

“You’re glad?” She blinked.

“Wait, that’s not what I…” Colour crept up his cheeks. “I meant, I’m glad you feel comfortable enough with me, Ruby. It’s...I’m happy we’re friends, is what I’m trying to say.”

She relaxed and a small smile shone through the tears like the sun peeking through mist.

“Me too.”

o.O.o

When Emma had heard his evenings now included Ruby, she’d not wanted to take no for an answer until he brought her. Knowing full well his previous partner wouldn’t give in until he took her around, he’d caved easily. Arguing with Emma was like beating your head against a wall anyway.

So he promised to ask Ruby.

Predictably, she wasn’t thrilled with the idea.

“Dinner? With your old partner?”

“Yes, and her husband.”

“But why?” She asked as she sorted through files on her desk.

“Ah…” He didn’t think the fact that Emma wanting to scope her out was an acceptable excuse to anyone but her. So he rephrased. “She’s curious about you.”

“Curious?”

“Yes. Emma’s my best friend. She’s curious about you since we’re friends too.”

Ruby gave him a long unimpressed look that showed exactly how far she believed him.

“Very well. I’ll go, since she’s so interested. But please don’t make me small talk.”

Archie chuckled. “Oh, I promise. Emma detests small talk.”

“Small blessings.”

Now they were standing outside the house and Ruby was quite obviously counting exits, windows and streets leading away. Knowing it helped her with her nerves to rely on her training, he didn’t say anything but rung the doorbell.

o.O.o

The door was opened by a boy of about eight, with straight brown hair, serious eyes and a missing front tooth.

“Hi Archie!” He hugged the detective and smiled so the gap in his teeth winked. “Who are you?” He directed at her.

“I’m Ruby Lucas.”

“Ruby’s my new partn...temporary partner. She’s with the FBI.”

“No way!” The boy was all enthusiasm. “Can I see your badge?”

“Ah...sure.” She took it from her belt and flipped it open.

“Cool! Do you have your gun with you?”

“Henry,” Archie chided softly. “Ruby didn’t bring her gun to dinner.”

“Oh. Okay. That’s fine, we’ve got Mom’s anyway.”

Ruby stifled a chuckle and followed the boy inside. Hanging up her coat, a blonde woman she recognised as Emma Swan came into the hall. They’d met before so Ruby summoned a dutiful smile.

“Did you ask who it was before you opened the door?” Emma directed at her son, putting a hand to his shoulder.

“No. Did you invite some murderers to dinner with us?” The boy grinned and ducked under her hand.

The blonde chuckled and shook her head before directing her attention to the two arrivals.

“Archie. Ruby. Welcome, come on in.”

Ruby had no problem hearing the warmth in Emma’s voice when she said Archie’s name and the cool reserve then she said hers. The two of them are friends, she reminded herself. It was completely normal she was a bit suspicious of Ruby, especially since she was Archie’s partner now. Temporary partner, she reminded herself.

“Thank you. Here, for you,” she handed Emma a bottle of wine. “I wasn’t sure what you like but hopefully it’s okay.”

“Oh, thanks. I’m sure it’ll be great. Come on in and meet everybody.”

“Everybody?” Ruby hissed under her breath as she and Archie followed Emma into the next room.

Archie shrugged in reply and Ruby made a mental note to get him back. She should have expected a friend ambush. It had have been too long since she spent any time with friends if she’d forgotten anyone possibly becoming part of the group had to be put through a trial period.

They entered a kitchen-living room, the kitchen part to the left with a dining area behind it. To the right was a homey living room and den. Decorated in bright colours it was warm and welcoming.

“Everyone, this is Ruby, Archie’s new partner,” Emma said and the people in the room fell silent.

Emma turned to Ruby, pointing the guests out in turn. “In the back there is my son Henry who probably didn’t introduce himself because we’re really behind on his manner classes. August, Marco’s son and Grace, Jefferson and Percy’s daughter.”

The children waved in between laughs and whooping at some videogame they were playing on mute in the den.

“There’s Marco, he’s Archie’s first partner, he’s retired now,” she nodded to the older man. “And over there is David Nolan, the captain of the force, currently my partner, and his wife Mary Margaret. She’s a primary school teacher. Next to them is Jefferson Madden, he’s in Vice, and his husband, Percy Whale, one of our MEs. Slaving away in the kitchen there is my house boy, Neal Cassidy.” They all greeted her in turn as Emma spoke their names and Ruby felt like the new kid in class.

“Now that I’ve told you all the names, can I get you a drink so you forget them?”

“Please.”

Ruby had been prepared to have a bad time, had told herself it was just one night of her life. She could manage. To her surprise, she didn’t have a bad time. The people Archie surrounded himself with were funny and warm, all interested in her and how she was finding her time in Boston. She found Emma’s husband funny and relaxed, liking his easy going attitude and cheeky grin. The ME, Percy Whale, was intelligent and sharp, with a biting sense of humour that had her laughing out loud more than once. The children were all outgoing and friendly and she thought she scored some points with Emma by sitting down and thrashing her only son in Halo.

The second thing she noticed, after realizing she was enjoying herself, was that all the couples were so...together. From the dinner conversation she’d found out all of them had been together for a good number of years and still, she saw all of them being so...joined. Not that they were excessively lovey dovey, but they all had something intangible between them that declared they were joined. It was in Jefferson Madden’s eyes when he looked at the doctor, in the way Neal smiled when he listened to Emma, in the way the Captain leaned closer to Mary Margaret to mumble something to her. It put a little prick of regret in her stomach, showed her something that had been missing from her life a long time. An empty space that sought to be filled and held.

Archie’s hand was suddenly over hers on the table, catching her attention. Meeting his eyes, seeing them twinkle with warmth, she forgot about the feeling.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she automatically responded. She held his eyes for a little longer and knew it to be the truth. She was okay. “Yes, I am.”

[mortivern]

Lillie’s wearing a new outfit today. She’s ditched the old Sunday school getup that she had before (that her mom picked out for her apparently?) and has on a new set of…well, they’re kinda schoolgirl-ish clothes, but way cuter. A nice skirt and blouse. She seems way happier. More confident. I guess getting kidnapped by your own family will do that. Or will it? I’m not really sure. Gladion stopped by earlier that morning to drop off the Sun Flute, saying that we would need it along with the Moon Flute in order to summon the legendary beast that would take us to Lusamine. I tucked it into my bag. Hau made a comment that Lusamine must be pretty generous if she would be willing to loan us an ancient artifact. Lillie just sorta looked at her feet. Gladion snorted.

We took the same chartered boat we arrived in over to Seafolk Village, the main establishment on Poni Island. It’s on these floating docks with house-boats tethered to them. It actually reminds me a lot of Pacifidlog Town, which I stopped by when I visited Cadence in Hoenn—both towns that seem to be built into the sea itself. I know Pacifidlog is built on the back of a Corsola colony. I wonder if it’s the same here? Even though it’s a super low-key town and doesn’t seem to be a tourism hub (not a lot of money coming in and out of Seafolk Village, I’d imagine), people here seem super chill, sure of themselves. I really dig it. Hapu met up with us later in the day for some fish and chips (a hearty dockworker’s dinner, she said proudly) and told us our next step was to head to the Poni Wilds. Lillie said she was tagging along and was excited to see it. Hapu said that no one could call Lillie lily-livered! Lillie didn’t get the joke. Hapu seemed flustered. Nervous lesbians.

We rode some Mudsdale that night along the Ancient Poni Path for Hapu’s home. Her grandmother plied us with fried plantains and some sort of salty canned meat cooked up in a fried rice, with malasadas for dessert and Salac Berry ciders the entire time we were sat at the table. I talked with Hapu and her grandmother about our journeys, how helpful Hapu had been lending Vera and I some Mudsdale to cross Ula’ula’s unforgiving terrain. How I looked forward to sparring with her someday! I looked over to Vera to see if she had anything to add, but she was sitting on the sofa in the living room, petting their Meowth. I think she was too drunk to hold a good conversation anyway.

Next morning we woke up to a note from Hapu that she had gone to the Ruins of Hope down Poni Breaker coast. Her grandmother was awake, and made us some egg and salted meat breakfast burritos and strong coffee. When we had eaten and our bags were ready to go, she took our Ride Pager and registered her Machamp. Said he could push boulders for us if need be. We talked about being swept up by strong, muscular men until we reached the coal-black sands of Poni Breaker Coast. The shore stretched as far as the eye could see and then some. Vera elbowed me and said that there was probably a better way to get to where we needed to go than walking, or even riding a plodding Mudsdale through the wet sand. She paged a Sharpedo over and jumped on. I gave chase not long after. We raced around the dark waters of the bay, laughing and chasing each other. The jet streams from the Sharpedo stirred up the sands beneath, revealing glimmering bits of Nuggets and Star Pieces. We dove for them until we were exhausted, then jetted down the coast so that we weren’t too too late to our meeting with Hapu.

When we got to the Ruins of Hope, we found ourselves faced with some sort of….ancient puzzle. Huge stones were blocking our path, but there were gaps in the bridge that looked like they’d fit the stones perfectly. I took this as an opportunity to page that Machamp that Hapu’s grandmother gave us. He swung me into his capable arms and shoved the boulders around until we had clear passage to the back room. Hapu was kneeling in front of a shrine, apparently communing with the local Tapu. When we approached she told us that she had been selected as the new island Kahuna, to replace her dad’s old man, who passed away a few years ago. I offered my congratulations and said that I’d hold her to that battle that we talked about! She grinned that lesbian grin and said that we’d best be heading to Exeggutor Island to find the Moon Flute. Lillie appeared from behind her and said that the Tapu hadn’t made itself available to her and offered no insight as to how to cure Nebby, so that she wanted to tag along with us to see if maybe being near the flutes would do something.

Hapu arranged a boat for us to Exeggutor Island. I hadn’t actually seen one of these in person before, and boy let me tell you, these sentient palm trees are fucking HUGE. And apparently they’re part Dragon-type, too?? They were thrashing around when we got there, the whole lot of them. And no small wonder, since they were being chewed on by a horde of Pinsir! After bargaining with her for ten minutes to get her help, I finally convinced her to chase them off. In thanks, one of the Exeggutor actually gave us a boost to the highest part of the island, which was super helpful since it looks like the path climbing up had long since crumbled. We grabbed the Moon Flute. I couldn’t help but feel like I was gonna be smitten—smote?—I don’t know, given some kind of reckoning by some sort fo deity for just…taking an ancient artifact.

But nothing happened, nor did anything really happen until after we had picked up Lillie from Hapu’s place and headed down the road to Vast Poni Canyon. A row of Team Skull grunts were squatting across the length of the entire row, arms locked, demanding to know where Guzma went and why we had taken him. From above us we heard a deep, raspy voice command them to stop. It was Plumeria, the Skull admin with the bad pink and yellow ska hair. It was interesting to see the grunts react to her presence. It was a mingled fear and adoration, one that I’ve seen many of my younger sibs look upon me with. She was the big sis of the team! She chastised them for trying to chase us away when we were only trying to help find Guzma. They scattered once she told them to find something more productive to do with their time, then pressed two Poisinium Z’s into my hand. Plumeria paused as she passed Lillie, and apologized for treating her the way she had. Lillie nodded curtly, but once Plumeria walked away I saw Lillie smile. Boy oh boy does she ever continue to give me Kio vibes. Speaking of! Where is my sis? I should send her a message. Give her some heads up about what might be happening with this whole Necrozma deal and Ultra Beasts and legendary Pokemon and…whatever else is waiting for us. I’ve gotten pleasantly numb about it to be honest. The edibles that I bought back at Seafolk Village might have something to do with that. I barely registered fighting the Ultra Recon Squad and their Poipole again. They asked if they’d fight Necrozma when it inevitably came, and soon. I said sure. Like I had a choice.

Vera and I led Lillie and our Mudsdale down through the deep, winding Vast Poni Canyon. There were layers and layers and layers of stratified earth, which had to date back several hundred thousand years. When was Alola founded? Somewhere around three thousand years ago? Had to be longer, right? I don’t know, it was weird to think about how long this island had been around without humans, and was I even supposed to be here, were these legendary creatures trying to tell me to just like. Fuck off back to the mainland. Vera kept us moving at a steady clip deeper and deeper into the canyon. She was quick to tell me about little holes and caverns hidden behind rocks or brush, and instruct me to go through and see what was in there. I don’t know if she just wanted to find what was there and keep it for us (or herself) or if she was trying to keep me kind of present and engaged, but it kinda worked. By the time we got to the trial, I felt energized enough to tell Lillie some dirty jokes. She laughed at some of them.

I guess Vera’s reward for keeping a sharp eye out was that she caught a Jangmo-o, a scaly little dragon that thumped its tail against the ground and rattled its scales at us as we approached it. It called for help often—and successfully—but Vera finally caught her in a Luxury Ball. I think she’s still mulling over what to name her. But this nameless Jangmo-o quickly evolved into Hakomo-o, so it must have been right on the brink of evolving when she caught it. I was prepping my team to enter the trial site when Vera firmly put her hand on my arm and said that she’d take the lead on this one, and let me know that I’d be invaluable as backup. I think she could tell I was still not 100% present. And to be honest, I was happy to take a back seat and watch this Hakomo-o violently flinging the attacking dragons away from us. This thing had a dangerous glint in its eye and was unafraid to make its presence known, rattling its scales every chance it could to warn oncoming Pokemon. I was apprehensive about it being a good fit for Vera at first, but really it seems like both of them want to be left alone and will give people plenty of warning about it.

The Hakomo-o battled the totem Kommo-o with all its might, and I swear to you this, the timing couldn’t have been more dramatic, but as this Hakomo-o was down on the ground after taking a direct hit from the totem, it evolved into a Kommo-o as well, locking arms with the totem. Both of them were rattling their scales so loudly that we all had to cover our ears. But in the end, Vera’s Kommo-o overthrew the totem and sent it scurrying for the canyon. We took our Dragonium Z’s and took a moment to sit and rest. It had been a long, grueling day of hiking. We were ready to head back to town, but needed to catch our breath for a moment. Lillie handed out some malasada. I ate mine while I watched my sister cleaning the scales on the Kommo-o, which rumbled contentedly, even though she was keeping a close eye on Vera.

Lillie has her own place to stay in Seafolk Village. Vera said she couldn’t sleep, and was going to spend some time with her new teammate, trying to figure out her name before we headed back to Vast Poni Canyon tomorrow to make our way up to the Altar of the Moone. Why do they spell it like that? Why couldn’t they just say “Altar of the Moon?” I shouldn’t make fun of other languages. I can’t speak another language! I should call Ren. I’m not sure what tomorrow brings. Should I call Mom and Dad? Of course not, that’d just worry them. I think I’m going to pop a few more of these edibles and take a walk along the beach. Clear my head. I mean, what else can I even really do?

[yahoo-shutdown-corner-blog]

2017 NFL Preview: If you hate the Patriots, better root for the Steelers

Shutdown Corner is previewing all 32 teams as we get ready for the NFL season, counting down the teams one per weekday in reverse order of our initial 2017 power rankings. No. 1 will be revealed on Aug. 2, the day before the Hall of Fame Game kicks off the preseason.

The Pittsburgh Steelers might be the best candidate to stop the No. 1 team on our countdown (spoiler alert: it’s the New England Patriots) from rolling to another Super Bowl.

If you can imagine any team going into Foxboro and knocking off the Patriots in a playoff game, it’s probably an explosive Steelers team capable of putting up 30 or more points at any time. Heck, the Steelers might be the only team in the AFC capable of grabbing a higher seed than New England.

Maybe that’s asking too much of the Steelers, and they might be a little overrated on this list too. Pittsburgh was good last season, especially in the second half of the season, but not great. The Steelers were 11-5 and won the AFC North by inches last season, literally. But we all are drawn in by the siren song of offensive stars, and it’s easy to get excited about this group.

The Steelers have an incredible set of skill-position players. The challenge is actually keeping them on the field together. Thanks to suspensions and injury, Ben Roethlisberger, Le’Veon Bell, Antonio Brown and Martavis Bryant have played 21 snaps together over the past two seasons. Bryant, one of the best deep receivers in the NFL, was conditionally reinstated from suspension (he was sitting out of practice early in camp waiting to be fully cleared by the NFL). Bell might not be happy playing on the franchise tag this season, and he is holding out of training camp, but he’s arguably the best running back in the NFL. Roethlisberger is probably going to the Hall of Fame someday. Brown has 481 catches since the beginning of the 2013 season, an NFL record for most catches in a four-year span. Now we finally (hopefully) get a chance to see what they can all do together over a full season.

Bryant’s return allows Steelers fans to dream big. Roethlisberger has played 19 games with Bryant in the lineup, and his numbers in those games have been phenomenal. Roethlisberger has averaged about 336 passing yards per game when Bryant is on the field, according to NumberFire.com. The Steelers have averaged 29.3 points per game with that combination in the lineup. Bryant, who averages 17.3 yards per catch over his career with 14 touchdowns, opens up the field. As Rotoworld’s Evan Silva pointed out, Brown’s numbers are much better with Bryant (8.9 catches, 113.7 yards, 0.8 touchdowns per game) than when Bryant doesn’t play (7.1-93.7-0.7). The Steelers offense was good without Bryant. It might be the best in the NFL with him back. And Pittsburgh’s defense improved a lot in the second half of last season, which was the catalyst for a long winning streak. Even though the Steelers lost the AFC title game, they had to feel the arrow was pointed up for this season.

The question is if the Steelers have enough to make it to a Super Bowl. That likely means they’ll need to knock off the Patriots. Dating back to the AFC championship game at the end of the 2004 season, the Steelers have lost eight of 10 meetings and four in a row. The Steelers were overwhelmed in a 36-17 loss to the Patriots in the AFC championship game last season (and as we’ll talk about in the next preview, the Patriots have improved over the offseason). If the Steelers have closed the gap, it’s because Bryant will improve the offense and a young defense continues to get better. It would still have to be a big leap for a Steelers team that was 11-5 last season and needed a last-second stretching touchdown from Brown to beat the Baltimore Ravens for the division title.

But if the Steelers can’t knock off the Patriots in the AFC, who can?

Ben Roethlisberger and Le’Veon Bell hope to lead the Steelers back to the Super Bowl. (AP)

Despite a decent amount of cap space, the Steelers were quiet in free agency. Defensive end Tyson Alualu and cornerback Coty Sensabaugh were the top two signings and they got $1.75 million and $425,000 guaranteed, respectively. The Steelers didn’t lose much either. Inside linebacker Lawrence Timmons was a good player for many years, but Vince Williams should be a suitable replacement. Backup running back DeAngelo Williams remains unsigned, and it appears they’ll count on rookie third-round pick James Conner to replace him. T.J. Watt was the team’s first-round pick and perhaps he can help the pass rush right away. Second-round pick JuJu Smith-Schuster, a receiver from USC, might help the offense be even more explosive. Grade: C

Everyone loves the Steelers offense, but the defense quietly improved in the second half of last season. After a 35-30 loss to the Dallas Cowboys dropped Pittsburgh to 4-5, the defense (and Le’Veon Bell) helped the team reel off nine wins in a row until the AFC title game. If we remove a Week 17 game that meant nothing to the Steelers, they allowed 15.6 points and 268.8 yards per game over that winning streak. The only opponent to gain more than 310 yards or score more than 20 points in that stretch was the Ravens on Christmas. If that defensive improvement sticks – 10 starters return, including defensive end Cameron Heyward back from injury – the Steelers might be special. We all know the offense will be good.

I don’t blame the Steelers for their approach to Le’Veon Bell’s contract, and I don’t blame Bell for holding out either. Big, long-term investments at running back rarely turn out well, and Bell has a history of injuries and off-field issues. It makes sense for the Steelers to not overpay Bell on a long-term contract, which will lead to him playing on the franchise tag. It also makes sense why Bell wouldn’t want to risk injury in training camp and the preseason. However, you don’t exactly want one of your stars unhappy as the season starts. The Steelers rode Bell hard down the stretch last season, and by the end he was legitimately in the MVP conversation. Few players did more for their team than Bell did the final couple months last season. The Steelers need him. Also, maybe it’s anecdotal but how many times have we seen a player hold out and then struggle with injuries? The Steelers didn’t bring back DeAngelo Williams so rookie third-round pick James Conner looks like the top backup. If something happens with Bell, the Steelers offense wouldn’t be the same.

Ben Roethlisberger apparently seriously considered retirement this past offseason, which means the clock is ticking. This could end up as a Brett Favre situation and he plays for five more seasons, but once a player (especially one who has taken as many hits as Roethlisberger) lets retirement slip into his mind, that thought doesn’t go away. Roethlisberger is 35 and coming off a fairly typical season for his standards, so there’s no reason to believe he won’t be good this season. It’s what happens after this season that’s scary. If Roethlisberger walks away, the top two quarterbacks after him on the roster are longtime backup Landry Jones and 2017 fourth-round pick Josh Dobbs. When Roethlisberger retires, it might not be a pretty transition in Pittsburgh.

You could pick any of the offensive stars, but the Steelers could probably lose one and still be good on offense. The defense needs a pass rusher in a bad way, and Bud Dupree might be the best bet. Dupree, a 2015 first-round pick, suffered a groin injury in camp last year and played just seven games. He did get 4.5 sacks in those games, so maybe he can post a double-digit sack season with better health. The Steelers don’t want to have to rely so much on 38-year-old James Harrison, who led the team with five sacks last season. T.J. Watt is a first-round talent but still a rookie. A lot is riding on Dupree this season.

From Yahoo Sports’ Dalton Del Don: “Martavis Bryant enters the year as one of the bigger wild cards in fantasy football, as he hasn’t played a snap since 2015 and is one misstep away from another lengthy suspension. But he’s still just 25 years old and will immediately retake the WR2 role on an explosive offense. He’s being drafted aggressively despite the layoff, inherent risk and having played just 21 games during his career, but the upside is evident. Bryant has turned 140 career targets into 14 touchdowns, as 18 percent of his catches have gone for scores, which is the highest rate in the NFL since 2014 (he’s added a rushing TD for fun as well). Bryant has ranked top-15 in fantasy points per game in each of his first two years in the league, and he possesses legit top-five upside if Antonio Bryant were to go down. He might be the biggest risk/reward player drafted in 2017 fantasy leagues.”

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The last time the Steelers had a losing record was 2003, when Ben Roethlisberger was in his last season at Miami (Ohio). The last time they won more than 12 games was 2004, Roethlisberger’s rookie year. And they haven’t reached 12 wins since 2011. We pretty much know what we’re getting from the Steelers year after year. But to get over the hump and make it back to the Super Bowl, Pittsburgh might want to break from tradition and put up a 13- or 14-win season. That’s a lot to ask, but it’s probably what it will take to avoid playing in Foxboro in late January.

HOW DID THE STEELERS BUILD UP SUCH A GOOD OFFENSIVE LINE? 

The days of the Steelers worrying about problems on the line are ancient history. Pro Football Focus lists the Steelers as the third-best line in the NFL (PFF also has Dallas ranked ninth, so I’m not sure what to make of the list). By any account the Steelers have turned a weakness on the line into a strength. Left tackle Alejandro Villanueva was a great story as an Army veteran off the practice squad, but he was a question mark as a player. Fortunately for the Steelers he proved he was more than capable, and the team rewarded him with a four-year, $24 million deal. Ramon Foster was signed as an undrafted free agent, and became a good left guard. Center Maurkice Pouncey and guard David DeCastro were home-run first round picks, and 2011 second-round pick Marcus Gilbert has settled in at right tackle. The Steelers did a good job drafting and developing, and also finding gold at a couple spots. Pittsburgh has a great offense and don’t forget to include a very strong line when talking about it.

The Steelers could go into New England and win in the playoffs. But they’d probably rather that game be in Pittsburgh. A Dec. 17 showdown against the Patriots could be a huge game in the AFC playoff picture. That regular-season meeting is in Pittsburgh. A lot could happen between now and then and maybe one or both teams aren’t even in the mix for the No. 1 seed like we expect. But if we’re trying to make a realistic prediction on how the season will go, it would seem Pittsburgh probably needs home-field advantage to make the Super Bowl, and at very least they’ll have to beat the Patriots in Week 15 to get it. There aren’t many teams you can realistically see winning a Super Bowl outside of New England, but the Steelers are one. It’s very important the Steelers have a great regular season and avoid the hard road through the AFC playoffs.

The Steelers look great on paper, and the way they finished last season should provide plenty of optimism. But it’s still a team that was 4-5 in mid-November last year. If Antonio Brown’s stretch against the Ravens was a few inches shorter, we’re bemoaning how a talented Steelers team missed the playoffs last season. Ben Roethlisberger and Le’Veon Bell have significant injury histories. Bell and Martavis Bryant have histories of getting in trouble off the field. The defense improved last season, but there’s still a lack of true blue-chip talent, especially if Bud Dupree or T.J. Watt aren’t great rushing the quarterback. It’s hard to see the offense being bad (unless Landry Jones becomes prominently involved due to a Roethlisberger injury … and it’s a good time to point out Roethlisberger has played 16 games just twice over the past eight seasons) but if the Steelers are still floating around 10-11 wins this season and lose in the AFC playoffs nobody in Pittsburgh is going to be happy.

Here are the last four meetings between the Steelers and Patriots:

• The Patriots blew out Pittsburgh 55-31 in 2013. New England gained 610 yards.

• In the first game of the 2015 NFL season, the Patriots had a 21-3 lead early in the third quarter and cruised to a 28-21 win. Pittsburgh scored with two seconds left to make the final score look better.

• Last regular season the Steelers played without Ben Roethlisberger and were competitive for a while, but lost 27-16.

• New England won last season’s AFC title game easily over Pittsburgh 36-17.

That’s practically four double-digit victories for the Patriots over the Steelers in four recent tries. I’m not sure why it will be much different this season.

We’re probably getting ahead of ourselves in even discussing Pittsburgh vs. New England in the playoffs, because it’s not very often the NFL is that predictable. Still, it’s really hard to believe the Steelers’ road back to the Super Bowl won’t go through New England at some point. And nothing short of a trip to the Super Bowl will be considered a success. Unless the Steelers catch the Patriots on the right day or New England deals with major injuries in January or Tom Brady suddenly falls apart at age 40, it’s hard to see this season ultimately being a success in Pittsburgh.

32. New York Jets 31. Cleveland Browns 30. San Francisco 49ers 29. Chicago Bears 28. Los Angeles Rams 27. Jacksonville Jaguars 26. Detroit Lions 25. Houston Texans 24. Buffalo Bills 23. Indianapolis Colts 22. Baltimore Ravens 21. Los Angeles Chargers 20. Minnesota Vikings 19. New Orleans Saints 18. Washington Redskins 17. Philadelphia Eagles 16. Miami Dolphins 15. Cincinnati Bengals 14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 13. Arizona Cardinals 12. Denver Broncos 11. Tennessee Titans 10. Carolina Panthers 9. Oakland Raiders 8. Kansas City Chiefs 7. New York Giants 6. Seattle Seahawks 5. Dallas Cowboys 4. Green Bay Packers 3. Atlanta Falcons

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Frank Schwab is the editor of Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at shutdown.corner@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter! Follow @YahooSchwab