#it's not even wrong i know it's just wow the gap intensifies even with grown ass men i am the mummy

[anauwhere]

Tumblr girlies all wanna fuck older men and understandably so then there's old fart me that inevitably consumes media with younger actors/singers and I'm like oh he's cute let me look it up "date of birth 2021" and I go 💀💀💀💀

[im-not-a-what]

Sorcerer Supreme

Title: Sorcerer Supreme

Summary: For the Gold children, it's a fight for honor: who is going to be the superhero of their choice for Halloween? Belle comes up with a solution.

Rating: G

Genre: humor, family, sibling rivalry

Characters/Pairings: Gideon, Rumbaby OC, Rumbelle

AO3 Link

Note: Set in the Golden Quartet verse

“Mummy! Tell Gid he’s wrong!”

Belle was still reeling from the heated argument between her twelve-year-old son and seven-year-old daughter. They’d spoken so quickly that she’d caught only snippets as she entered the kitchen. Something about how girls should dress up as girls, that no, that’s not fair, Téa could pick any costume she wanted. No, Gideon had already picked and she should just pick another one.

With no ready answer to Téa’s accusation, Belle demanded that the yelling stop immediately and that the kids, who were glaring each other down over the kitchen counter, sit at the table.

“All right,” Belle declared once the children promised not to speak out of turn, “I want to hear both sides. Now, I’m thinking of a number between one and ten. Each of you pick a number. Whoever guesses closest goes first.”

Téa guessed four. Gideon guessed six. Belle’s number was five. This happened a couple more times before Belle picked nine. Téa guessed ten while Gideon guessed nine. Téa immediately whined, “I was gonna guess nine!”

“Well, you didn’t,” Gideon said, his voice bouncing with smugness.

“Gideon, don’t provoke your sister. Now, what are you and she arguing about?”

Gideon folded his hands on the table. He made sure to sit straight, gaining a few years on his countenance. He looked like a law student ready to deliver his opening statement at a mock trial. Belle didn’t doubt he put on a similar show for his school teachers. “We were having a conversation about our Halloween costumes. I mentioned that Robin, Neal and I had made a deal to dress up as superheroes this year for the school Halloween dance. I planned to go as Stephen Strange. That’s when Téa flew off the handle.”

“You stole my idea!” Téa cried.

“Téa.” Belle spoke low but punched the ‘T’ in her name. She’d worried in the early years that she’d never get the hang of being stern with her children. As it turned out, she’d become an expert, startling even Rumple with that edge of authority. “I said you could speak after Gideon was done.”

The girl squirmed in her seat. Her face started turning red, like she was trying to hold in a volcanic outburst.

Belle knew to get to the point of Gideon’s side before the explosion happened. “So, Gideon, you want to be . . . who again?”

“Stephen Strange,” Gideon said with crisp articulation. “Doctor Strange, the Sorcerer Supreme.”

Téa coughed. Somewhere in that cough came out the phrase, “Comic books.”

Belle snapped a stare at her. Téa sat still, then glanced at her mother with feigned befuddlement.

“Yes, he’s a comic book character,” Gideon said, as though it wearied him to explain what to him was a self-evident fact.

“All right,” said Belle. She faced Téa. “Now it’s your turn.”

Téa gripped the edge of the table like the reins of a bronco. “I want to be Doctor Strange for Halloween! I told Gid a long time ago that he’s my favorite character!”

“I’m your favorite character?” Gideon quipped.

“Shh,” Belle hissed.

Téa grinned, showing off a gap in the row of her upper teeth. “Ha!”

“Téa,” Belle said, “just because Gideon wants to be Doctor Strange for Halloween doesn’t mean you can’t be, either.”

“We can’t both be him!” Téa looked outraged by the notion. “Everyone will think I’m copying Gid!”

“Because you would be,” Gideon said.

“No!” Téa lunged over the table. “You’re copying me!”

Belle held up her hands at them both. “Enough! Gideon, not another word until I say it’s your turn. Understand?”

Gideon sighed and leaned back in his chair.

Téa poked her tongue at her brother. She flicked it fast enough that it slipped back into the safety of her mouth before her mother saw. There was a shadow of imitation in her wiggle to sit up straight and her tightly clasped hands.

“Téa,” Belle continued, “can’t you make a . . . Doctor Strange costume in your own way?”

Téa tried to keep her tone as plain as white bread at first. “I want to be Doctor Strange, but I can’t be a good Doctor Strange when my brother is Doctor Strange, too. He’ll look exactly like him. He doesn’t even care about Doctor Strange that much. He likes Batman, but Neal is going as Batman. Now he’s taking out his disappointment on me!”

Gideon grit his teeth together. “I’m not—” He stopped himself just as his mother directed a sharp glance at him.

“Then Gideon said I shouldn’t be Doctor Strange because I’m a girl! He said I should be Catwoman or Wonder Woman!”

“Those wouldn’t be so bad,” Belle said.

“But it was my idea to be Doctor Strange! It’s not fair!”

Gideon raised a finger. “May I speak?”

Belle sighed. “You may.”

“I didn’t say she had to be Catwoman or Wonder Woman. There are superheroines with magic powers. Zatanna. Scarlet Witch. The Enchantress.”

“The Enchantress is a bad guy! I don’t really know Zatanna or Scarlet Witch. I shouldn’t have to be someone I don’t know!”

Gideon laid his hand over his heart. His expression mockingly softened. “I’m helping you learn more about superheroines. You should have more female heroes to look up to. Mom agrees, right?”

The call-out caught Belle so off-guard that she could only guffaw.

Téa anchored herself on her elbows. “Yeah? Why don’t you dress up as Scarlet Witch?”

Gideon’s face twisted in a blend of confusion and repulsion. Belle hid a snorted giggle behind her closed hand. Clearing her throat to chase the laugh away, she regained her neutral frown. “Anyone here is free to choose what hero they want to model themselves after, regardless of gender. So, Téa, you may dress up as Doctor Strange. And yes, Gideon could dress up as Scarlet Witch.” Her aside look at Gideon came with a half-hidden smile. “If you’re comfortable.”

“Mom,” Gideon cut in, “you know why she wants to be a superhero for Halloween so badly. She wants an excuse to hang out with Robin and Neal.”

“Oh?” Belle checked with Téa, who grimaced but said nothing to deny the claim. “Well, why not?”

Gideon nearly jumped out of his seat. “Why not? She’s in second grade! The guys don’t want to hang out with a second-grader! Besides, we’re going to the school dance. We’re going to do more grown-up things.”

“Grown-up things?” Belle inched toward him with intensified parental interest. “Like what?”

“Uh . . .” Gideon retreated and tried to find anything to look at but his mother’s insistent stare. “N-nothing all that . . . nothing bad. I swear.”

“I can’t believe you trust him to babysit me.” Téa shook her head with precocious disapproval.

Belle coughed out another laugh, collected herself, and like her children joined her hands in solemn contemplation of the dilemma. After a minute in this pose, she said, “I think you should both be Doctor Strange.”

“No,” Gideon said.

Téa gaped at her mother. Then, as though succumbing to the braindead condition her expression suggested, she slumped forward and thumped her forehead on the table.

Belle raised her eyebrows. As far as childish gestures went, Téa’s display bordered on a performance piece. She graced it with an impressed, only partly sarcastic, “Wow.” Then she addressed Gideon. “If neither of you is willing to pick another costume, that’s the only compromise we can reach.”

“I’m not going around Storybrooke as ‘twinsies,’” Gideon said.

“Me neither,” Téa said.

As neither was ready to budge or see reason, Belle saw no immediate recourse. However, her curiosity sent her on a little research binge to learn more about Doctor Strange and other comic book superheroes. Inspiration struck. She confided her plan to Rumple, who initially expressed some puzzled trepidation. As he came to understand the plan, confusion transformed into enthusiasm.

On the afternoon of Halloween, the kids returned home to two Doctor Strange costumes standing on mannequins in the living room. One fit Gideon; the other fit Téa. Despite the presence of the one intended for her brother, Téa oohed and aahed over the faithful recreation of the Master of Mysticism’s outfit. The capes even levitated! Clearly her father had put his magic touch into the costumes.

“But they look exactly alike,” Gideon pointed out with a sigh. “Twinsies.”

“Maybe it won’t be that bad,” Téa said, still marveling at the cape that playfully twitched when she petted it.

“Don’t worry,” called their mother’s voice from the staircase. “We have a solution in mind.”

The kids whirled around. Gideon gasped, almost choking on air while his face drained of color. Téa spit out a stream of air that bloomed into laughter.

Belle sauntered down first, head to toe in black spandex with a bit of yellow trim, including the bat symbol on her chest. Her hair hung loose under the mask with the short, pointed bat ears. Behind her came Rumplestitlskin in a green and gold cloak over a black and gold armored tunic. His head was adorned with a golden helmet. Two, long horns curled out.

Gideon coughed out, “You’re not going out like that, are you?”

“Why not?” Belle said, not at all bothered.

“You guys look awesome,” said Téa, having found air and words again.

“Why thank you, little mortal.” Rumple completed his descent and knelt before Téa. “Now, Batgirl and I have consulted on the matter of your . . . contention. So, the alternative.”

He snapped his fingers. Téa’s regular clothes were swept up in a magic cloud. In their place appeared a wild costume of green and black. The onesie was simple, but the cape arched from her shoulders and billowed out in strips like octopus tentacles. The mask covered her head, just like Belle’s, but the black, zig-zagging extensions vaguely resembled elk antlers.

“Whoa!” Téa touched her mask. “Who am I?”

Rumple summoned a hand mirror. He held it far away enough that she could see most of herself. Téa squeaked. “I’m Hela! Oh, that’s so cool!”

“All right, good.” Gideon inched toward the mannequin with his Doctor Strange outfit. “Then I’ll just change into this—”

“Oh, no,” Rumple sang as he stood. “You have an alternate, too. Either you both go as Doctor Strange, or . . .”

Another snap. Gideon started and looked down. His body suit, like Belle’s, was nearly all black. Whereas her outfit had a yellow bat and gloves to provide contrast, his had the blue silhouette of a bird.

“Nightwing?” he asked.

“Oh, I get it!” Téa gestured at him and herself. “I’m Loki’s daughter! Nightwing and Batgirl are in the Bat family. Family costumes!”

“Oh. Great.”

“Doctor Strange is still an option,” Belle reminded him, “but you both must wear those. Now, who’s ready to go trick or treating?”

Téa jumped up and down, making the tendril-like antlers on her mask bounce. Her cape fluttered behind her. “Me! Me!”

“But the sun is still up!” Gideon glimpsed at the Doctor Strange costumes.

“You have that dance to go to, right?” Rumple sidled up to him. His smile matched his costume entirely too well. “If we all go now, that will give you ample time to meet up with your friends at the dance. Perhaps we’ll run into them on our route!”

“O-okay, okay, Téa can wear the Doctor Strange costume! I’ll stick with Nightwing but please, please don’t make me go trick-or-treating like this!”

Rumple tilted his head. “Whatever do you mean?”

“Dad, my two friends are eighth graders. The costumes are cool, but matching costumes with my parents? I’ll never live it down!”

“Pfft,” was all the commentary Téa deemed necessary.

Belle joined Rumple’s side. “Well, we wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable. But if you’re willing to let Téa—”

“Yes, I’m fine, I’m fine with it! Go have fun!”

“I don’t know,” Téa said, giving her Hela costume further consideration. “This is nice, too.”

“I don’t care, just leave me out of it!” Gideon zipped past his parents and up the stairs. His thumping feet faded within a few seconds.

“Wow.” Téa put her hands on her hips. “He should’ve been the Flash instead.”

Belle and Rumple didn’t need to know who that was to appreciate the remark. They laughed, as did their little girl. Rumple waved his hand. The Hela costume and Doctor Strange costume swapped places.

“Yes!” Both of Téa’s fists pumped up. “I am the Sorcerer Supreme!”

“For today,” Belle reminded her. She helped her daughter twist her long hair into a bun. The ‘do prevented any interference with the high cape collar that was already attempting to lift her off the ground. Rumple placed a jack-o-lantern bucket in one hand while he took the other. He told her how to command the cape so it didn’t take off against her wishes.

“Will we be back in time to see Gideon leave for the dance?” Téa asked as they headed out the door. “I want Neal and Robin to see my costume!”

“We’ll make sure they see it,” Belle said.

“Even with magic, both your costumes took a good deal of effort,” Rumple said. “We might as well show them off.”