#it's my least favourite boss by a mile

[emirrea]

I decided to hop on my second Genshin account today, did the dailies and events that are available, got enough primos for like 9 pulls, and decided to throw them at Furina. I was close to soft pity and was guaranteed to get her, so no surprise that she came home. Yay!

I switch to Baizhu's banner kinda without thinking much, just going through in my mind what I need to get for Furina and whether I even have good teams for her. I do a couple pulls for Baizhu, still thinking that fuck, I don't really have any good healers that can keep up with the damage Furina deals to the whole team.

And then Baizhu comes home at 3 pity LMAO

Aaaand then I realised which boss I need to fight to level up Baizhu and legit almost cried

[apoloniaspiegelgold]

Now that my boss has hired a new PhD student, he literally straight up kicks me out of my office by the end of the month with no warning just so that the new girl can move into my office instead. So now I have to move into an office at the far end of the corridor whose inhabitant was at least asked if he'd be okay to move out of there into an empty office. And I'm just sitting here like ... why? Why not put the new girl into the empty office? What is this insanity?

[sadesluvr]

Turbulence

You join the mile-high club with a mysterious English gentleman. 

A/N: First BT fic! Been obsessed with this movie, and just had to make something with one of our favourite assassins. I had to do a weird amount of research on flying for this... It won’t be my last so follow for more! :)

Set pre movie. 

Word count: 2.5K 

Tags: SMUT / Porn with little plot / Minor spoilers for references in Bullet Train (2022) / Unprotected sex / Creampies / Hookups / Mentions of birth control / Quickies / Canon-typical language / Canon-typical banter / Minors + Ageless blogs DNI

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome onboard Flight 4B7 to Tokyo. We are currently second in line for take-off and are expected to be in the air in approximately five minutes time. At this time, we ask you to please fasten your seatbelts and secure all baggage underneath your seat or in the overhead compartments. Please turn off all personal electronic devices, including laptops and cell phones. Smoking is prohibited for the duration of the flight. I’m Goldie, and thank you for choosing our airline. Enjoy your flight!” 

Hanging the speaker up, you smoothed out your skirt as you fixed yourself to take the final walk before take-off. ‘Goldie’ wasn’t your real name of course, but a nickname given to you by a sleazy boss. You would’ve hated it, but you found that it greatly helped with creepy passengers who were searching for a place in the coveted ‘mile high club’, or those who simply flew with the intention of sleeping with flight attendants across the world. On the contrary, it was always cute when toddlers cooed your name from across the plane, calling for you as if you’d known them their entire life.  

As you pushed past the curtain to the business class, your eyes fell on a pair of men; one dark-skinned with curly dyed hair, the other with long, slicked back hair and a moustache. They wouldn't have been anything out of the ordinary had the moustached man not been holding a phone to his ear. Great. There was always at least one person who never listened to the announcements, but there was something about those who rode in first or business class that held a different kind of entitlement entirely. 

Swallowing, you put on your best customer service and sauntered over to them. The dark-skinned man noticed you first, raising his brows before nudging the one next to him, who seemed deep into an important, but strained, conversation. 

“...Yeah, yeah. We get the kid and the briefcase, then the train to Kyoto...Yes, we know who we’re dealing with, I forwarded Lemon the briefing. Right, can we go now? Take-offs in two minutes --” 

“Excuse me,” you cut in. “You’re going to need to hang that up...” 

The man did a double take, holding his phone away from his ear as he glanced up at you. If it wasn’t his old English accent that captivated you, it was his eyes, a striking blue with hints of grey that seemed to stare directly into your soul.  

“I’m going now.” He said snarkily to the person on the phone before hanging up, placing the object into the pocket of his navy-blue suit before staring up at you with a charming, but cheeky smile. 

“My apologies darlin’,” he said, his voice as smooth as butter. “Work won’t give us a break.”  

“Don’t I know it?” you replied, shifting your weight as you prepared to move on. “Thank you, sir. Enjoy your flight...” you said before looking down at his hands; strong and adorned with gold rings.  

“...Nice watch.” You finished with a knowing smile. Given the parts of the broken conversation you’d heard, and the elaborate way they were dressed, you figured that they were at least some kind of secret service members - not that it was any of your business, of course. Still, there was something particularly arousing about the blue-eyed man in the three-piece navy suit with the nice watch, and you couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if you broke your ‘no-sex-on-the-job’ rule, just this once. If he wasn’t busy with mission stuff, of course. 

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He replied, the corners of his eyes wrinkling as he smiled, watching you as you walked off, admiring the questionably short length of your skirt in the process. Sitting back in his seat, he chuckled to himself before turning to see his brother Lemon hastily swiping through the movie selection on the screens. 

“The fuck are you doing?” 

“Tryin’ to see if they’ve got Thomas...” Lemon said matter-of-factly. “It’s alright though. I always come prepared.” he finished, tapping his laptop pointedly. Tangerine frowned, shaking his head as he sat back in his seat, side eyeing you as you made your way to your jumpseat in the corner.  

It was going to be a long journey, but at least he had a nice view. 

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

As soon as it had been safe to take seatbelts off, you’d wasted no time in making your way back down to the business area. The best part about the job was that you were able to walk about, getting a good glimpse at the passengers you thought were attractive – all under the guise of providing good customer service. The man with watch was reading a book, whilst the other seemed engrossed with whatever was on the screen, with his fingers covering his face in a concerned manner. They seemed like polar opposites, yet seemed to work so well together, something that made your job a lot easier when it came to seating passengers. If only everyone was like them. 

If it hadn’t been obvious, you were rather interested in the blue-eyed gentleman in particular. Whilst he hadn’t given you definite signs he was interested, you fixed your make up in your compact mirror regardless, and opened a button on your blouse so it was just a little lower than industry guidelines. It never hurt to try, and it certainly wasn’t as if you were going to see him again. 

Smiling, you guided a cart down the narrow aisles, stopping at the pair of men. 

“Refreshments?” 

The dark-skinned man, ‘Lemon’, as he had been referred to, answered first, eagerly pausing his screen to speak to you. 

“I’d love somethin’, love,” he said, holding the same accent as his partner. “D’ya have anything fizzy?” 

“Of course,” you hummed. “We have Coke – regular, Diet and Zero, Dr Pepper, Sprite, some SanPellegrino --” 

“I’ll have a Coke, love. Make it Diet...” he said, and you nodded, quickly finding the box for the right can. “It’s a shame ya don’t do any bubble milk tea up here...I got a real craving for one...” 

You laughed as you handed him the can. “Luckily for you Tokyo is full of great places to get one. You probably could even find one in their vending machines...Don’t get those in the West, do you?” 

“Certainly not in London,” he chuckled, opening the can and taking a swig before pursing his lips and tapping a finger on his chin. “Say, I don’t suppose you could settle a little argument for me, could you?”  “Oh here we go...” the other man interjected, drawing himself from his book to huff and look between the two of you. “Fucking unbelievable.” 

Lemon rolled his eyes.  

“That SanPellegrino of yours...Which flavour do you sell the most?” 

You bit your lip. 

“Depends...It’s usually lemon because people think it might taste like lemonade. The orange one never goes to waste, though...” 

Lemon gave the other man a pointed look, and he scoffed before looking at you. 

“Not to completely waste your time, love, but if you had to choose between a lemon or a tangerine...” he didn’t finish, probably because it would’ve pained him to, and moved his hands as if he were balancing weights on scales.  

You stared blankly between the two men, confused but utterly endeared. 

“Tangerines are good on their own, but lemons are far more versatile...”  “See?” Lemon said triumphantly, celebrating with himself before shaking your hand. “Pleasure doing business with you, darlin’.” He grinned before restarting his movie, moving on as if nothing had happened. You chuckled to yourself, conscious of the hundred other guests that needed you, but looked back to lock eyes with the other man, ready to ask him the same question. He wore a knowing smirk on his face, the curve of his pink lips still evident under his thick moustache and tutted chidingly. 

“Really thought you’d be on my side there, sweetheart,” he sighed. “Suppose you can’t trust everyone, can you?” 

“I’m sorry,” you pouted. “You must give it to him though. Lemons are pretty good.” 

“Darlin’ I don’t have a problem with the message, but the messenger,” he said, nodding to the man next to him. “He’s a grown arse lad watching Thomas, that one.” 

You chuckled, glimpsing at the screen to see that it was indeed correct. Shaking your head, you scanned the crafted features of his face before raising a brow. 

“So, what’s your poison?” 

“A gorgeous lady pushing a cart, it seems.” 

“Smooth,” you hummed, unable to ignore the way a dangerous heat shot through your stomach and down to your core, making your legs feel like jelly. He’d hardly done anything, and yet you were under his spell. “What would you like to drink?” 

“Nothin’ at the moment, love,” he grinned. “I’m a bit peckish, if anythin’...” 

Sighing, you quickly checked the man out again, this time eyeing his body. Broad shoulders, muscular thighs, thick legs...The total package.  

“Hurry, up! I’m thirsty!” Someone from across the aisles said. The man was about to argue, but you halted him, nodding in the direction where the voice came from.  

“I tell you what,” you said softly, lowering your voice as you stared into his eyes, your composure so controlled that it would’ve been impossible to tell that your heart was pounding in your chest as you spoke. “-- Us staff have our own snacks. If you meet me by the toilets in fifteen, I can get you some...” 

“Don’t leave me hangin’, sweetheart.” The man grinned, not-so subtly uncrossing his legs and giving a cheeky wink before you headed off down the aisle. Gripping onto the handle of the cart, you tried your hardest to walk straight, excitement boiling in your loins as you counted down those fifteen crucial minutes with every strained smile at a customer. 

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

He was there when you arrived. 

“Took ya’ long enough -” was all he said before cupping your cheeks and pulling you into a passionate kiss, pressing your body against the wall of the bathroom. It was by far the most glamorous place to have sex, but there was something about the sleaziness of it all (with such a put-together man, nonetheless) that made it that more enticing. His scent was an ode to his masculinity; aromatic and woody, and it consumed you as he kissed down your neck, nipping at your collarbone as his large hands caressed the sides of your body. You moaned, writhing your front against his pelvis, desperate to feel the outline of his erection against your own. Admittedly, you weren’t entirely sure what to do with your hands, settling to drape them around his neck in fear of messing up his hair. He seemed like a man who took pride in his appearance, and he certainly wasn’t going to be able to fix it up in an airplane bathroom. 

“Feel me, darling. I don’t bite...” he whispered, his hands now sliding between your thighs as he fought to push your panties to the side. You took this as a hint, and you combed your fingers through his roots with one hand, whilst the other fumbled to undo the button on his trousers, difficult to do with his considerable bulge. You let out a broken gasp as you felt his cock, likely over average sized with a nice girth, and he shuddered in response. 

“Goldie, is it? You’re a naughty one...” he sighed, slipping a finger into your wet cunt. 

“Mhmmm,” you crooned. “’S nickname. I don’t suppose you’ll give me yours?” 

“You’re a bright bird, ‘m sure ya figured it out.” 

“Tangerine, huh?” you hummed, throwing your head back as he began to finger fuck you, his gold rings adding the extra girth that would prepare you nicely for his cock. “I like tangerines...” 

“Ya didn’t seem to back there.” 

“Well, give me a reason to...” you chuckled, and he grinned, grunting before he hoisted your leg up around his waist, his cock dangerously near your entrance. 

“Better be quick,” you teased, staring at him through your lashes. “They’ll get suspicious if I’m not back in five.” 

Tangerine chuckled.  

“I can do that. Just know it’s not a reflection of me at my best.” he sniffed. 

“Good to know.” 

Your words were unfounded as he pushed into you, his girth filling you completely as you moulded perfectly around his cock, gripping onto his shirt as he began to buck his hips. The man grunted, accosting himself to the feel of your warm, wet hole – raw and unfiltered, sighing into the nape of your neck as he fucked you. He steadied himself with his hands, gripping onto your thigh with one as the other rested above you, lending him the luxury of staring into your eyes as he drilled you. 

“God...” you panted, your lips wet and raw from his kisses. “T-Tan -- You’re so good...” 

“That’s it, love,” he beckoned, words rolling off his tongue like honey as he rolled his hips deeper into you. “Say my name...” 

“Tangerine...” you whined, eyes fluttering shut as you drowned out the vacuum-like ambience around you, focusing on the small grunts and sweet nothings the man whispered into your ear, his warm breath sending chills up your spine. The room around you was making a slight creaking sound, and you barely even cared that your calf was banging slightly against the door.  

With every passing second his thrusts became more focused, solely intended to bring you both to that point of ecstasy- yet you didn’t doubt that Tangerine was the kind of man who made sure you finished, even if he himself didn’t.  

His hair was beginning to become undone now, brown strands falling in front of his face, just barely clouding his vision, but enough to make him look even hotter. Both of your shirts became more and more dishevelled as he pressed up against you, the muffled sound of his clothed thigh against your bare ones becoming more frequent as he growled, the sound coming from deep within his muscular chest. 

“Fucking hell, darlin’...’M gonna make a mess...” he hissed through laboured breaths. “I’ve gotta pull out --” 

“It’s alright,” you lulled, and you could’ve sworn that his cock twitched at the phrase. “I’m on the pill...” 

“You naughty girl...You’re gonna get me in trouble --” he groaned, throwing his head back as he gave you a few fast and sloppy pumps, shutting his eyes as you clamped down on him during your own release, creaming around his cock as he filled you with his own. You dug your nails into his clothes as you rode off your respective highs, hair and clothes askew as he rubbed small circles your trembling leg before lowering it to the ground. 

Panting, there was a brief silence as you dressed yourselves, with Tangerine preening himself in the tiny mirror. 

“You look good as gold.” You said with a smirk, fixing your hat.  

“Thanks,” he said with a broad smile, popping some gum into his mouth as he looked you up and down. “You’re a dime a dozen, y’know? Fly this route often?” 

“Sometimes,” you hummed, opening the door so that the sign no longer read ‘occupied’. “Why, are you thinking of coming back?” 

“I’ll be headed to Kyoto,” he said, looking around before he stepped out. “Maybe I’ll catch you there.” 

“Yeah,” you grinned, fixing the final button on your shirt. He’ fucked you so good you could barely even remember what your next journey was. “Maybe.” 

[allwaswell16]

One Direction fics that include social media into the fic as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

—Harry/Louis—

♡ Your Mess Is Mine by amory

(M, 176k, kid fic) Louis is the father to the most brilliant little boy in the world who is all Louis really needs, or at least that's what he tells himself. Harry is a gorgeous boybander fresh off a two year break and a massive scandal that's left him a little broken and more than ready to move on.

♡ A Love Like War by sincewewereeighteen 

(E, 173k, famous/not famous) the one in which Louis Tomlinson is a cliched rock star, he's got everything except for love. But then he meets Harry Styles; the man that, against all odds, saves him in every way a person can be saved, even when Louis didn't know he needed saving in the first place.

♡ Walk That Mile by purpledaisy / @daisyharry

(E, 149k, road trip au) A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.

♡ You You You by @isthatyoularry

(M, 137k, famous/not famous) the one where Harry and Louis meet at a club and Louis takes Harry home, only for him to realize that the boy who just made him breakfast half naked is Harry Styles from One Direction.

♡ Have Love, Will Travel by @kingsofeverything

(E, 97k, road trip au) Rather than spend the summer working at their desks, Louis and Harry are given the opportunity to crisscross the country together in a tiny camper, filming their adventures for a YouTube series.

♡ say you want me by orphan_account

(M, 37k, famous/not famous) Harry’s a closeted pop star and Louis is the uni student he keeps fighting with on Twitter

♡ From the Start by @allwaswell16

(E, 32k, fake relationship) Louis has no idea that one act of kindness will cause his life to spiral out of control. But that's what happens when his new friend fake proposes to him and a video of it goes viral.

♡ You're the Light by @allwaswell16

(E, 31k, newspaper au) What he finds on his first day of work is a tall, gorgeous editor named Harry who has the most beautiful green eyes he’s ever seen—and who also happens to be his new boss.

♡ The Daddiest Place on Earth by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

(E, 23k, Disney World au) Louis. Harry. Instagram. A whole lot of confusion and a whole lot of laughs...

♡ Anonymous Said by @alivingfire

(T, 21k, tumblr) two boys, two blogs, two years of anonymous messages, and a bookshop where it all comes together

♡ Then We Talk Slow by @letsjustsee

(E, 20k, famous/not famous) A famous/non-famous AU in which Louis banters back and forth with his new record company on Twitter, only to find out that Harry is the man behind the tweets.

♡ blend into my favourite colour by rainbowninja167 / @rainbowtitania

(T, 19k, coffee shop) Harry is a barista with a secret Werewolf High fan blog, a desperate crush on a customer named Louis, and a best friend on Tumblr who always makes him laugh. Louis can't figure out why the barista at his favorite coffee shop keeps creepily staring at him, and to make matters worse, he may be slightly in love with a friend he met online.

♡ Found My Missing Piece by @styleandsin

(NR, 16k, fashion au) Louis and Harry are both fashion bloggers. Louis' been following Harry for years. Harry and his blog really gave him the confidence and the push to make his own.

♡ you don't have to play the part by fairytalelights / @lookslikefairytale

(M, 16k, famous/not famous) the one where Harry is Britain's new pop sensation, Louis is R&B star Zayn's sassy social media manager and things get confusing

♡ This is a Rainbow War by @lululawrence

(NR, 15k, famous/not famous) the one where Harry's a famous singer, Louis is part of his road crew, and after Harry gives Louis a special assignment regarding rainbow flags, things maybe turn out a little differently than either of them planned.

♡ it do be like that sometimes by wordsnnotes / @quelsentiment

(T, 14k, enemies to lovers) an enemies to lovers AU inspired by my short experience in this crazy fandom and my even shorter experience on stan Twitter

♡ from, your secret admirer by flicker_album / @niall-official

(T, 13k, secret admirer) the one where Louis is Harry's Tumblr crush so he sends him secret admirer messages for Valentine's Day

♡ Nailed By Louis by @haztobegood

(E, 9k, cooking au) It had started as a joke, just two months earlier. Louis had tried to make recipe from HarrySizzles Instagram account.

♡ Hot Chocolate by @kingsofeverything

(E, 6k, chocolatier Harry) Harry wants to make something new for Hot Chocolates, his small batch chocolate shop. Louis offers to help.

♡ Kiwi by dimpled_halo / @comebackassholes

(M, 6k, exes to lovers) The last place Louis expects to see Harry again after ten years is performing at a music festival in Chicago

♡ The Places Where We Met by Chelsea Frew / @chelsea-frew

(G, 5k, famous/not famous) Harry Styles loves his job as 1/3 of a famous boy band. It does, however, get lonely, and he counts on a special online friend to get him through.

♡ Missed Connection by @kingsofeverything

(E, 3k, Craigslist) Harry is absolutely clueless when it comes to figuring out if other guys are into him, so he enlists his friend Niall to assist. That may or may not be a mistake

—Rare Pairs—

♡ One In Ten Million by craigtrash

(M, 36k, Zayn/Liam) University student Zayn Malik is a big fan of One Direction, world famous boy band, especially member Liam Payne. When Liam accidentally tweets his phone number, Zayn takes a chance that changed his life.

♡ walk, walk fashion baby by @disgruntledkittenface

(E, 23k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) Louis loves his supportive boyfriend, his passionate and interesting band of friends and coworkers, and his pair of quirky and dedicated dogs. What he doesn’t love is his job as co-editor of the Lifestyle section at a popular site aimed at millennials.

♡ Almost Feels Like Nothing's Changed at All (If You Close Your Eyes) by Hllangel / @glitterbootsandyellowshorts

(G, 3k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) The tweet went out about two minutes ago, but it's basically blown up his notifications, and probably his life.

[linkspooky]

For the ygo asks: The Spirit of the Millennium Ring

Why I like them / Why I don't

Yami Bakura was literally my favorite Yu-Gi-Oh character growing up the first time I watched Yu-Gi-Oh, all the way up until I reread the manga earlier this year.

I love the way he foils Yami Yugi, the way his and Ryou's relationship is the complete opposite. His relationship with Marik (my first Yu-Gi-Oh ship). I love how it seems like he has his original memories unlike the pharaoh and acts like a completely separate entity from Ryo, and yet for some reason is just really into DND. He literally made and painted custom miniatures to seal yugi and his friends in. That's going the extra mile. He's like a 5,000 year old bandit there's literally no reason for him to be this into board games.

The foiling gets even better when you realize that Yami was the monarch who was in power partially because his kingdom committed a genocide and slaughtered Thief King Bakura's own village and Bakura is really just retaliating from the people who did a genocide against him, and stealing back the millenium items that were created from the lives of everyone in his village.

Bakura would be my favorite character if his character hadn't ended the way that he did. Thief King bakura is just a thousand times more interesting than Zorc, and I dislike the reveal that Yami Bakura is actually a mixture of Thief King and Zorc, it makes him a flatter character. He's just like an evil guy rather than a vengeful spirit that's hated the pharaoh for five thousand years.

What I like about their appearance

I love the bat wings on his hair that go up when Yami takes over. It makes him look like a big white fluffy chicken that will scratch and bite you the moment you try to pick it up.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Same name!

OTP

THIEFSHIPPING! The duel against Yami Marik where they bicker like an old married couple the entire time and Yami Bakura actually gets FLUSTERED when Yami Mark calls them out is legendary. Yu Gi Oh abridged didn't even have to change that much about that duel, it was already pretty gay.

NOTP

Ehhhhh don't have one?

OT3

This is techincally an OT4, but Ryo, Yami Bakura, Marik and Yami Marik would be the messiest poly quad. Imagine two dudes dating who are actually four dudes.

Favourite card they use

Final! It's fun to see decks that are built around an alternate win condition.

Favourite moment they were in

Already said this but Yami Bakura and Marik's tag team duel. A close second place is when Bakura stabbed himself to help Marik's plan within like five minutes of meeting him.

Least favourite moment

Already said this above but the reveal that Bakura is like half Zorc. In general the final arc starts out so strong, but making Zorc the final boss is a bad move because Bakura is so much more interesting as a protagonist. Really hate the part where he just dissolves into sand. Also having like four bakuras running around, thief king, the one that's playing the board game, Zorc, and another one in the game that duels Joey is just really confusing.

[crimsonedquill]

Could you do a Imelda x Male MC (smutty) where before one of the timed races they make a bet and the MC lets her win and offers to buy her the newest broom but she wants something more from MC?

Consolation Prize (Imelda Reyes x m!MC)

Imelda ends up offering MC a special kind of consolation prize after he loses a time trial...

The amount of SMUT requests I'm getting all of a sudden – I guess I've tapped into a well of certain... cravings 😂

This took a bit longer than anticipated but I'm always happy to go the extra mile for my favourite Slytherin boss bitch 🖤

Content warning: NSFW (18+). For obvious reasons.

MC would have never described himself as a competitive person, if it hadn’t been for Imelda Reyes.

She’d smelled blood the moment he had first shown some interest in one of her time trials, and then she had him practically in her grasp before he even realised it. She was on him like a hawk, daring him to go higher and faster with every challenge, to provoke him just enough to keep drawing him back despite the demand of his studies. It didn’t take long for the other students to start commenting on how much time he spent outside of the castle, with Sebastian asking if he was going to make another blood sacrifice to Medusa every time he spotted him heading outside in his flying gear.

MC, for his part, didn’t mind the taunting. In fact, he’d come to rather enjoy flying with Imelda, particularly how she kept pushing him to seek out his limits and hone his craft. In her defence, he also quickly figured out that behind the snarky comments and cantankerous facade was a passionate girl simply yearning for an outlet, a suspicion she confirmed when she trusted him enough to open up about her dreams and aspirations. Their bond grew stronger and stronger as they kept challenging each other to be the best version of themselves, never passing up an opportunity for a competition.

That said, MC couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more to what they both referred to as their simple friendship. He sensed it in the way she kept making seemingly offhand comments about his physique, or how her gaze always lingered just a little longer than necessary when he mounted his broom (though of course she kept insisting that she was merely assessing his technique). He wasn’t able to deny that her competitive spirit wasn’t at least a major turn-on either, though he couldn’t tell whether she was playing hard to get or simply looking to get a raise out of him – either way, he wasn’t going to risk his chances by suggesting something she obviously didn’t seem into half the time.

— — —

Imelda was already out doing practice laps by the time he came trudging up the Quidditch field, broom in hand. He took a moment to admire her flying as she soared around the pitch, her face holding an expression of complete concentration as the tails of her uniform fluttered behind her, like the wings of a large emerald bird. She caught sight of him and landed in the grass, stepping off as he walked up to her. “Hey, Imelda.”

“Took you long enough.” She turned to him with a big smirk on her face. “Got lost on your way here, as usual?”

MC shrugged. “Just figured I would give you the time to practice. I know you’re going to need it.”

His taunt drew a chuckle from her; he’d learned to speak her language a long time ago, to no insignificant expense of his own. “Let’s see if you fly as well as you talk. Nothing fancy today, just a single lap around the lake. Fastest one takes the win.”

“Sounds fine by me. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, suddenly finding himself with an idea. “Hey, I think I’m feeling lucky today. Care for a little wager?”

Imelda cocked her eyebrow in a way that made his heart involuntarily skip a beat. “Well, don’t you just know how to get a girl all excited? Spill it, flyer boy, what do you have in mind?”

“Right, here’s my thinking: if I win… you take me out on a date.”

“A date?”

“Only because I know it would be more of a humiliation to you than any other punishment I could come up with,” MC grinned. He knew he was betting big, essentially daring Imelda to admit to her interest, even though he was fairly confident she wouldn’t be able to resist the challenge. Sure enough, after a few seconds of contemplation, she nodded. “All right, not like you stand any chance to begin with. What’s in it for me though?”

“Well, I heard you’re in the market for a new broom. How’s that for a reward?”

“Piss off, ain’t no way you can afford that.”

MC shrugged. “I won’t need to.”

She gave him a funny look before smiling. “Fine then, you’re on. Just don’t come crying to me after I kick your arse.”

“I’d love to see you try.” MC gestured to the pitch. “Ladies first, then.”

Imelda wasted no time in mounting her broom and positioning herself at the start line. They exchanged one last look before MC drew his wand and fired off red sparks to mark the start of her lap. He kept a close eye on the time as she raced around the lake and stopped the counter as soon as he saw her arriving over the stands at the other side of the pitch.

“Three minutes and twelve seconds,” he said on her approach. “Not bad.”

“A slam dunk,” she smirked. “Are you honestly still even going to bother?”

“Hey, I’m not going to pass up on a free Butterbeer. Just watch me, I’ll even throw in a new record.”

She chuckled, automatically causing him to smile as well. He reckoned it’d be hard to convince any outsider that they weren’t absolutely flirting right now, even though he still wasn’t exactly sure where that left him.

MC mounted his broom and took off as soon as Imelda had given the signal. He did great on the initial stretch, blowing through the first couple of hoops with ease, so much so that his thoughts started to wander again by the time he reached the halfway mark. Considering he was very well in a position to win this thing, would a date really be the best way to win over Imelda? He supposed she would respect him for having beaten her in a fair fight, though it was hard to imagine the usually coolheaded Slytherin cherishing affectionate feelings for anything other than Quidditch – to not say anything of the fact that she probably wouldn’t open herself up to be vulnerable under any circumstances she didn’t control, like when they’d had the conversation about her family and flying ambitions. No, he sensed he was entirely betting on the wrong Hippogriff here.

He decided to slow down a little bit as he came up on the last bend, just enough to give Imelda the edge while also making sure to not arouse any suspicion. By the time he landed back on the pitch, he exerted himself to conjure up his best winner’s smile. “Well – how much time did I beat you by?”

“Bad news stud,” she said as she clearly made no effort to mask her glee, “three minutes and sixteen seconds.”

“Damn.” He slapped his broomstick in frustration. “Well, I better start saving, since it seems like I’m going to be in your debt for a while –”

“Mhm.” He furrowed his eyebrows as he certainly didn’t fail to notice the coy expression on her face, or the way she kept averting her gaze before finally looking back at him. “You know, since you’ve been a good sport and all – I suppose I could give you a consolation prize of sorts. A way for us to both get what we want.”

“Oh?”

“It’s just that –” She took a step towards him and flashed him a smile he had never quite seen before, “There’s something else I’ve been wanting to take a ride on.”

A silence fell between them.

“Oh. Right.”

“Yeah.”

“You mean –” He swallowed. “Right now?”

She shrugged. “I’m game. Unless you don’t feel up to it, of course –”

“Uh, no, I definitely do.” He stepped up to her. “I’d very much like to do this with you, Imelda.”

She smiled as she took his hand. “There’ll be plenty of time for smooth talk, pretty boy. Right now I’m just eager to get a piece of my prize. Let’s go.”

MC was practically floating the entire way to the changing rooms. Once inside, Imelda led him into a small office just off the Slytherin changing room, which he presumed to be the team captain’s quarters. He watched her seal the door with a locking charm before she pocketed her wand and slipped her robe off her shoulders, leaving her in her pullover and trousers as she turned around to him. “Are you going to just stand there?”

Following her lead, he cast a nervous glance at the canvas walls as he relieved himself of his flying gear. “Are you sure no one will be able to hear us?”

“Not here, no. Enchanted walls. All the adrenaline gets me horny as fuck after matches, so I need my space to unwind.”

His head started to spin merely at the thought of Imelda fresh off her victory, sitting here by herself all sweaty and gasping as she worked her dripping cunt to release. She seemed to notice the expression on his face as she strode towards him with a sway of her hips and grabbed the front of his pullover, running a finger down the fabric. “There’s a good bunch of things you might not know about me yet.”

His tongue clicked in his dry mouth. “Tell me more.”

“Hmmm, you would like that, wouldn’t you?” Lips grazed his lobe, passing along words that made him sway unsteadily on his feet: “I bet you’ve been wanting this for a long time, to fuck this nice, athletic pussy –”

His heart was pounding in his ears as she eagerly nuzzled his cheek, her lips finding his, conquering them with ease. He tasted the desire on her breath, leaving him throbbing hard against her palm. He felt her mouth settle into a wicked smile before she withdrew. “Not so fast, though. My prize, my terms. If you’re going to get in on this, you have to earn it, understand?”

He flashed her a smile. “Competitive even in bed, aren’t you?”

“You know me so well. Good, that’ll only help you.” She kissed him again before seizing him by the front of his pullover and practically flinging him across the room, landing him right on the chair in the corner. He was allowed barely a second to recover from his surprise before she was kneeling before him. He reached out to help her loosen the string of his trousers, but his hand was immediately met with a firm slap. “No touching. I want to see how long you manage before you’re begging to put your hands on me.”

At this point, he felt compelled to inform her that that would probably classify as cruel and unusual punishment, though no room was left for coherent thought as she pulled his bottom garments down to his ankles in one swift move. His cock instantly sprung to attention, a large drop of precum spilling from the swollen tip. He was proud to observe at least a glimpse of shock on her face before it settled into a grin, fingers stroking his thigh. “So this is what you’ve been hiding underneath all those clothes… colour me surprised. You’re packing a bloody nice tool, MC.”

Any words he might have wanted to utter in response were lost in a groan as he felt her fingers around him. Her face was frozen in concentration, tongue slightly peaking out of the corner of her mouth as if she were flying on her broom, chasing after a particularly elusive goal. She rubbed up and down a few times, smearing moisture along the length of his cock as she seemingly tried to get a sense of his girth.

“Hmmm yes,” she mused, “I’m going to have a lot of fun with this.”

Despite his best exertions, he failed to prevent a grunt from escaping. She brandished an evil grin as her hands rested at the base of him, feeling him pulse in her grasp. “You can have it, you know. My mouth on your cock. All I need to hear is a ‘pretty please’.”

Merlin, yes, he wanted to –

But he saw the trap for what it was and he knew he wouldn’t be doing himself any favours by being a pushover. So he persisted, bracing himself against the back of the chair as her expert hands worked his prick, using his own slick to coat him top to bottom. His breathing came in heavy and irregular intervals, bearing his desperation for relief, though fortunately it appeared that Imelda’s own impatience was catching up with her.

“Hmph, stubborn one, ain’t we?” she scoffed, using her thumb to spread out the blob of precum welling up from his slit all over his red head. “Fine, then. You’re lucky I’m dying to have a taste.”

He groaned as he felt her warm breath on his hardness, her tongue dragging along his entire length before she flicked at his tip, sending his mind spiralling into deeper depths of pleasure. “F-fuck, Mel…”

The corners of her mouth curled into a smile as she licked his head some more before finally closing her lips around him. His chest heaved as he saw – felt – her beginning to engulf his cock, dimpled cheeks swelling as her head bobbed up and down at a steady pace. She used her tongue to apply pressure on the sensitive spot at his base, chuckling as she felt him twitching in her mouth. He was so utterly mesmerised by the sight of it all that he had to marshal all his strength and willpower to keep himself from placing his hands on her temples and forcing her down until he was buried all deep and snugly inside her throat – but he only clenched his fists, his pride winning out on his lust for now.

He wondered if Imelda sensed his struggle, for she withdrew briefly to smirk at him, a thin strand of saliva briefly connecting her bottom lip to his tip before falling apart. “Still hanging in there, big boy? Good. I’m just getting started.”

Her promise left him bereaved of breath as she spat on his throbbing girth, using her fist to stroke him before gulping him down once more. He could tell her hunger was growing stronger, more insatiable. She seemed devilishly intent on having him teeter on the edge by the time she was done, swallowing him until he felt the walls of her throat constricting around his length. Lacking any measure to dictate the pleasure she was giving him, he at least decided to start thrusting his hips to assert a degree of control, eliciting a chuckle from her as her lips slid along his wet skin.

He wasn’t sure how much time he’d spent on the brink of orgasm until she came up for breath, using the back of her hand to wipe the mixture of her saliva and his juices from her chin. Her intent, however, became plain enough once she retreated to yank her trousers down her legs. “Right, then,” she growled. “Let’s not waste any more time. I’m eager to take a ride on that cock.”

MC wished for nothing else. He clumsily worked his pullover over his head, leaving him practically bare while he watched Imelda and idly stroked his hardness, priming it for her entry. Clad in nothing but her jumper and knee-high socks, he was utterly captivated by the sight of her toned legs, which she gracefully draped alongside his thighs as she climbed into his lap.

“You’ve been very quiet so far,” she observed as she seized his shoulders, thumbs slowly running over his skin.

“Just enjoying the show,” he uttered, which was not even a lie; he was just mildly worried he would be setting himself up for embarrassment the moment he allowed himself to indulge in any more pleasure than she was already giving him.

“Hmmm, good,” she hummed, her words cut short by a gasp as her heat met with his, her folds causing a delightful friction against his thickness. “Fuck, if only you knew how long I’ve been wanting this –”

The pride he felt at her reciprocation of his feelings lasted only mere seconds as she lifted herself on her knees, lining him up with her entrance. A moan fell from her lips as she sank down on him, nothing of what he had experienced so far quite comparing to the sensation of her walls swallowing him in.

“Shit, that’s too fucking good –” she gasped, using his shoulders as support as she began rolling her hips, settling into a nice pace that left MC gritting his teeth. He couldn’t agree more; she was way too bloody divine, the way her ass bounced into his lap as she cursed through parted lips, not merely engaging in some physical act but using him for her own pleasure. He was aching to touch her, to show her just how much he craved the feeling of her muscles under his fingertips, but he was determined not to lose – not this time.

Her smile was mischievous, cunning. “Still not giving in? Perhaps I need to give you more of a challenge.”

Away her jumper went, and just like that she was baring herself to him, perky breasts bouncing just a few inches away from his face, practically begging to be worshipped. He grunted in frustration. “Fuck, Mel, what are you doing to me…”

She chuckled, wrapping her arms around his neck to hold him closer as she rode him faster. “Tell me, big boy, tell me what I’m doing to you, tell me how much you want me…”

“I’ve wanted you for so fucking long… I love how you push me, I love how you make everything a challenge, I love how you look at me like I’m a prize, ready to be fucked senseless when you’ve won me…”

Judging by the sounds she was making, he knew he was doing something right. A smile formed on his lips as he realised he had found one of her pressure points at last.

“You’re so fucking hot like that… I realised your little game right from the beginning… edging me on, getting me all hot and sweaty, just so you could have me… and here you are, riding my cock like a needy little slut…”

“Shit,” Imelda cursed, flushing crimson as she increased her pace even more, the feeling of her heat tightening around his length alerting him to her impending release, “keep going, you fucker, I’m almost there –”

MC smirked, lowering his voice to a husky whisper: “The truth is that I wanted you too, Mel. I knew I had to have you the moment I saw you riding that broom. I couldn’t think of anything but you on your knees, sliding your pretty lips on my prick…”

She let out a loud whine as she finally collapsed on top of him, forcing him to strain his hips as he felt her spilling all over his cock, her release dripping from her folds. He kissed her cheek as he gently kept fucking her through her orgasm, not quite wanting any of this to stop. In fact, knowing that he’d just singlehandedly carried her to her climax with just words alone finally pushed him over the edge. He was going to claim what he was owed.

Snaking his hands around to her ass, he lifted her and carried her over to the desk, drawing a surprised gasp from her. “Hey, what do you think you’re –”

But any protest was knocked off her lips as he laid her down on the wooden surface and pushed back into her tightness, his pelvis meeting her butt in a wet slap. Any rules that might have applied were thrown out the window as he began to properly fuck her at last, holding her hips as he practically smashed her onto his cock. He had a front-row seat to Imelda’s complete unravelling as she unleashed the full range of her vocabulary on him, moaning and whining until she was only babbling nonsense, relishing the utter depravity of their fucking.

MC could watch her tits bounce and her cunt greedily clenching down on him for hours, but Imelda’s release had done a good number on his stamina, and he could feel his own orgasm quickly approaching. Wanting to at least drive her into one more high before he finished, he brought one hand down to where his cock was buried in her folds and began strumming the little bundle of nerves, delighted as he sensed just how close she was. The sight of her body shaking and contorting as she crashed into her climax crumbled the last of his defences and he came with a loud moan, quickly pulling out and stroking himself until every last drop of his spend lay gleaming on her stomach.

He took a step back as Imelda propped herself up on her elbows, looking up at him with a smirk. “Well, that got me good.”

“I’ll say.” MC offered her his hand and helped her up from the desk. “So… I think we can safely say who won this round, right?”

“Right. I told you you couldn’t handle it.”

“Excuse me? You’re the one who came twice!”

“But that wasn’t the rule, was it?” She chuckled as she bent down to pick up her clothing. “Just admit that I’m clearly better than you.”

MC rolled his eyes. “Ugh, fine. You’re intolerable.”

“Now now, don’t be a sore loser, pretty boy.” She caught his lips with her own as she walked towards the shower, the light catching her delightfully fit – and bare – figure. “I’m sure you’ll do great at the rematch.”

Merlin, he couldn’t wait.

[eurofox]

Yakuza Ishin! review

Finished as much of this as I'm bothered with. Spoilers btw

Ok story wise this has to be one of weakest. I get that it's meant to be somewhat rooted in historical fact so it was limited in that way but it's just not great IMO. It takes forever to get going and when it finally does get interesting it's too near the end and a lot of shite is just dumped in the final cutscene. At least they didn't make us fight Jingu The whole 2 Ryoma thing got confusing and the reason behind it all felt flimsy. The great fire of Kyoto ended up being no big deal with most minimal damage ever? like wtf. I liked the historical setting but it felt undercooked overall tbh. Also I can buy bare knuckle Kiryu somehow never killing people, but Ryoma is straight up canonically using a sword, so it started feeling silly. I honestly appreciated the fact that he did just start killing near the end.

It was nice to see Mine again, but he felt underused. I don't care for Baba so I'm alright with Zhao. Having Ryoma's bro played by a former villain was pretty much a spoiler from the get go, could see betrayal coming a mile off. They did Daigo so dirty, making him the bald Shogun that gets almost no screentime :( . Also kinda disappointed Andre Richardson/Glover didn't do his asshole move of refusing to speak Japanese despite understanding but he did get his cool theme. Ryoma was interesting and felt different enough from Kiryu personality wise. I'm glad they kept Haruka as a side character so it wasn't retreading the same old stuff

Combat is stiffer than what I was expecting, but this is an old game I guess and I last played lost judgement which is very smooth so that didn't help. Brawler did so little damage and every enemy is armed so I stopped using it early on. Gunplay was a nice change, and so was wild dancer but both didn't really do much damage either. Stuck with sword most of the time but it got old after awhile, again it felt very stiff. Avoiding combat was a nightmare in this game, enemies were always waiting in that same narrow street The long battles are usually my favourite part of any game but they were rare and not done well here. Aside from storming Daigo's castle, which was ok. Way too many boss fights and most of them felt spongy as hell, like, if I'm setting a TIGER on you why is it doing so little damage? I actually didn't mind the trooper cards though overall, added a bit of variety. The blacksmith requires far too much grinding in an already grindy game so I made one ok gun and never looked back. Most weapons you find seem to be better anyway.

There was a few interesting substories, like the bathhouse and Sumo brothel but way less than other games. And fucking hell the amount of friendship bonds was out of control and boring as all fuck, just repetitive fetch quests and sob stories. One or two were funny but the rest I could not give less of a shit about.

Karaoke and dancing are fine, I just suck at them but it was cool seeing it in the historical setting. The brothel games got dull fast and chicken racing sucks. Never liked gambling anyway. The Farm simulator was an ok distraction and so was the cooking but very simple and I didn't find myself going back to them much. Fuck those prize ticket machines though, turning a wheel over and over to win like 40 scraps of paper.

Graphics wise it was ok, especially main cutscenes which are actually pretty good. You can see every stitch in the haoris But still looks very dated otherwise and the amount of pop in was crazy. I could be halfway down the street before textures loaded.

Soundtrack is ok. Nothing really stood out aside from the remixed themes though.

Everything feels so sloooow. Scrolling menus especially. And talking to people. And going into fights or entering buildings. other yakuza games are like this but only older ones.

I did enjoy it and played til the end, but far from my favourite Yakuza title. I'll admit a lot of the issues are probably because it's a remake of a 10 year old game so of course it's going to feel clunky, so I'm glad I didn't pay full price for this.

Stuff I liked:

Historical setting

Guns and trooper cards could be fun

Some of the sidequests

Mine getting some time to shine (even if it's only a little)

Ryoma himself is pretty cool

Story cutscenes look great

Stuff I didn't like:

Awful pop in and slow menus

friendship bonds with every other clown in the streets of Kyo

Meh story

Poor damage output making battles way too long, with brawler being straight up useless

Too much steam in bathhouse fight

Bald Daigo

Blacksmithing

[koipepo]

What are all your favourite ships whether they are canon or not, from books, from movies, from tv shows, anything really. And also the reason you like them.

💀ooooo you're enabling me dear. Permission to ramble the hell out:

-Ramsay/Theon from GOT:

i draw them not as often these days but i still fantasize think of them in daily basis. it's insane how much acid, toxic chemistry these two have. i don't think anything could rival this ship, not in intensity not in fuckery, not in anything. A Phenomenon.

Ramsay is every deep fear and insecurites of Theon personified and realized-seeing him broken, mended and used to the whim of such insidious man is just hrrhghhh *goosebumbs* yet there's also a genuine fucked up intimacy between them. they're like onion man, so many layers and stinky but savory <333

Usually in other ships, there are still possibility of switching between the top and bottom character which i HATE but in thramsay, that's out of window. the complete dominance, the mindfuck + mindgame, the violence (both sexual and psychical), the SHAME and GUILT... there are a lot of feminine/afab fears to be found in thramsay at least in my opinion, and in many ways made it quite cathartic to explore them in male characters . also Ramsay is HOT as shit

-Peter B. Parker x Miles Morales from Spiderverse:

i had the biggest brainworm of them in secret years ago, but yeah. Super cute ship, with a huge helping of taboo too because mentor/student and underage character ahoy!😂 i always aged Miles up when shipping him with Peter B just bc i don't like the look of underage characters but that doesn't stop antis from raging. Miles is so fucking cute and i love how much he looks up at Peter B... and also how Peter B looks out for Miles so much even when he usually acts like a slob 🥺🥺

-Zuko x Aang from ATLA

Soulmates™. it's canon that their fates are wholly intertwined and coupled with them being enemies at first, it's super easy to fall in love with this ship. i love that Aang has always put a lot of hope and trust in Zuko even when they are enemies, and i also love that Zuko slowly warms up to the airbender's affection and how that makes him a better person in return. they better each other, you know?

like with Peter B./Miles, i aged up Aang when i ship him with Zuko because Aang looks SO good when he's older and his older-self is underutilized imo. i know fandom's unanimous pretty boy is Zuko but i love Aang's cute, airy vibe much more.

-Ogata x Sugimoto from Golden Kamuy

this one is a little complicated.

i love them, in my head, alone in my little corner(waiting for Sugimoto to catch Ogata after his bullet-to-the-head shenanigans was a magnificent time) but i couldn't stand how the fandom sees Ogata. i never empathized with his backstory and his murders; in fact i didn't pay attention to his history at all, but to my surprise it was all that the fandom focused on 😅

since i love Sugimoto more than Ogata and that i think he's quite underappreciated in the fandom, it got tiring seeing only Ogata everywhere in my timeline/dashboard. Coupled with having to accidentally seeing SugiOga art all the time, it just got uncomfortable for me... thus i left with heavy heart (；′⌒`)

-Bakugou x Deku from BNHA

i don't follow BNHA anymore but i still love seeing BakuDeku art pops out from time to time. that said, i don't like Bakugou as much as i used to. i think i got tired of his animosity or at least acrid behavior towards Deku, and his relatively glacier character development compared to anything else made me feel dissatisfied. Buuuut i don't mind seeing noncon-dubcon BakuDeku art at all HAHAHA 🔥 Deku is so cute i wanna hug him but also see him being destroyed

Honorable Mention:

Dante x Vergil from DMC (not the reboot!)

Kaneki x Hide from Tokyo Ghoul

Kazuhira Miller x Big Boss from MGS

Steve x Tony from MCU

Kuroo x Daichi from Haikyuu

Beard x Jacket from Hotline Miami

Thanks for asking! It was a lot of fun answering this and browsing my folders to post my older fanart 😆👍

[rottenbrainstuff]

Some of my favourite little moments from Across the Spiderverse: (spoilers, spoilers)

When Gwen comes back to say hi to Miles in his bedroom. She's so excited and she's been up to so many things since we last saw her, she's talking so fast and mentioning all these different people... but... at least me personally, I was instantly worried about her. Right away I got a sense of things being not quiiiiite right. Her longer hair is, I suppose, just a style choice and designed to show the passage of time, but me personally when I saw it, my immediate thought was that she wasn't keeping up with her hair. She's talking about crashing in other dimensions like a teenager that got kicked out of their parents' house. She's sneaking in a sus side mission. Her dynamic with Jess is different than it was at the start, more prickly, uncomfortable. She SOUNDS happy, but she SEEMS stressed and tightly-wound. My immediate reaction was that I was worried about her. Girl you are in over your head. I'm not sure if this was supposed to be the reaction, but since everything else in this movie was so carefully designed, I'm going to assume that it was.

I loved every single time the movie did the cut from a video of Miguel looking happy to his "I have been dead for five years" face. They overdid it, it's tropey as hell, and I don't care, I loved it every single time.

The absolutely venomous way Miguel growls "Peter" when Peter B shows up to cause trouble.

Miguel singing a little song of frustration when Peter B starts wasting everyone's time with Mayday

"Shocking" vs "ay coño”

Every time we get to see a new cityscape in a new spiderverse. Each one has a different style and are all so goddamned gorgeous. I was so excited every single time. RIP to everyone else sitting in the theatre having to listen to all the noises I was making as the pretty art was up on the screen. Gwen's universe was absolutely gorgeous, Pavitr's was giving me 60s Disney vibes.

All the upsidedown shots were creative, except I couldn't stop thinking about how all the blood would rush to their heads and they'd all pass out - maybe spider powers also help them regulate blood flow against the gravity, lol

The product placement soda billboard that simply said "this is a generic brand"

My FAVOURITE moment of all was the absolutely chilling beat where Miles at HQ looks around at the spider folks he thought were his friends and realizes what they're really here to do. Chills. Horrible. Stomach-dropping. It's one thing for a hero to be suddenly surrounded by baddies, something totally different and a million times worse to be surrounded by friends who want to do something bad "for your own good". Awful. Made my heart race.

Around about this exact moment, when the delicious chaos erupts and Miles is in containment, I was wondering why the FUCK a legit punk like Hobie would be ok in the slightest with any of this bullshit, and right on cue he reminds Miles to use his whole hand, then nopes the fuck out of there like a boss to deliver a bootleg watch to Gwen. Perfect.

And last but not least: Peter B putting all the little smooches on Mayday's little head.

[imaginepostingonsideblogs]

i need to hear your thoughts on casty

its. its. clasping and unclasping my hands. tyhe're. its. uh.

its the relationship between a fucked-up scientist who uses peoples words against them and high-school drop out with a childhood fixation on the fae whos specifically taught himself to Not Say Shit That Can Be Used Against Him but also the relationship between two guys who are locked in a constant game of 4d chess they're both losing at but its also a relationship between two people who agree wholeheartedly with one another about like. 80% of issues and they both hate it. its also the relationship between two brits with like. sixty miles of space between their birthplaces. theyre like. they're.

cas is still not over the loss of rex and hes still not forgiving ty for said loss but hes now stuck in a position where tys trying to manipulate him but the only context for that he has is rex's attempts to manipulate him-- so like ALL of his dialogue recounting the compound (and pretty much all the shit he says to tys face) is like 'ty tried to get me to do something today. it's ridiculous hes SO fucking sloppy at this, goddamn. my ex husband dedicates four years to that and ty thinks he can do it in twenty minutes? no fucking way dude get outta here. get some class.' but also that very quickly morphs into 'hm. is this betteridge guy.. flirting with me?' bc his contexts for love are Not Insane particularly in the context of rex. and thus begins the worst kismesistude ever bc its up to argument whether either of them are actually engaging in said kismesistude or just actually hate the other. insane really. off the charts.

cas most certainly is not tys favourite dude to torment. hes also not his least favourite. hes not even his pet project. this is probably to do with the fact that cas knows if he actually lets the afformentioned torment get to him then he techincally wont have the appeal of. you know, his cas-iness. the ability to play the afformentioned 4d chess. his survival instincts. all of that. so every time he gets tormented he just uses it as an excuse to get more silly abt shit until ty gives up on that particular line of enquiry

i mean what are you gonna do, kill the people he cares about? nice try sucker you're just saving cas a job at this point /hj

so eventually hes like okay betteridge you want me to do shit?? uhh heres a tactic rex never tried. um. pay me a living wage, asshole. i literally will do anything for $25 an hour. you didnt even need to chop my fingers off or anything. cmon. cough up.

and then he actually fucking does the jobs ty gets him to do. insane really x2. worlds worst boss/employee relationship ever. what the fuck guys.

[falselyprofound]

5 and 7! :D

(x)

Putting this one under a readmore for length as well heehoo

5: Favourite platonic pairing?

OOOH BABY. In no particular order:

Timothy & Aurelia (BLTPS): Pretty straightforward. Tim with anyone automatically piques my interest, given his face draws aggro from everyone in a 30 mile radius. But putting the broke, terrified college student in the same hit squad as the cartoonishly evil billionaire makes me laugh every time. What a fucking disaster. Funniest co-op playthrough I've ever had, bar none

Mr. Stern & Whatshername (Improbable Island): A woman being erased from existence stubbornly clings to reality, not just for her own sake, but to protect one of her closest friends from harm. I cannot begin to summarise how much this storyline fucked me up, particularly as it would require me to explain the funny nudist survival show video game. Just know that these two make me very happy and very sad at the same time.

Rosangela & Joey (The Blackwell Legacy): Again it is very hard to summarise the ache these two leave in my chest, so I'm just going to link one of my fave fanfics of all time and let it do the talking.

Steve & Robin (Stranger Things): While I haven't seen S4 of Stranger Things (and I can't deny that S3 is pretty bad), those two just. I dunno. They make me happy, man. You've seen my OCs - retail horror enemies-to-besties is one of my fave niches.

Protagonist & Vicki (Unavowed): "Eli help how do I explain to this gaslighting victim that I wasn't acting of my own volition when I killed six people shot her in the chest and gave her the power to see ghosts." Anyway, six years later I refuse to spoil Unavowed to explain why I like their dynamic so much. Please play Unavowed. Unavowed is very good.

Dave & John (John, Dave and Amy series): 🫵 ha ha dave you are so relieved your friend is alive you instinctively switch to unreliable narrator mode because it's easier than admitting you were on the verge of complete and total mental collapse

7: Least favourite headcanon?

I'm not the biggest fan of BL fics that involve Timothy signing up with Atlas after the events of the series, honestly.

I get why it's so popular. Without getting too into lore I'll say that he pairs well with the CEO, Rhys, because they both got fucked over by Jack hard. It's a fun dynamic.

But, like... Timothy's life sucks because he took a contract with a gun manufacturing company. He enjoys senseless violence, sure, but he's also got several voice lines where he's horrified at how much he's enjoying himself. He spent the year following his college graduation getting shot at on the moon, and then the next seven(?) years locked in a casino getting hunted for sport by people who were mad at his boss.

You want to put another gun in his hand after all that?? Dude's got debt and PTSD just let him REST.

(The Get Out of Jail Free card goes to AtlasTrash's Atlas Rising au comic. That shit made me laugh way too hard.)

[zosonils]

oh yeah also i beat mega man 1 today! definitely subject to some grade-a Old Video Game Bullshit that made me not feel bad at all about using the pause trick to cheese most of the wily bosses but as far as first entries in beloved franchises go it wasn't too rough a beginning. definitely has a lot of early installment weirdness that sticks out when you played the next five first though lmao

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey buisness - john shelby x reader (part 5 of ?)

gif by my literal angel @michaelgreys who keeps blessing us like holy fuck

a/n: all i can say is that this is the hottest one yet. as always, my girl @stxdyblr-2k did an amazing job so i hope you all enjoy :) and i'm still working on requests, tysm for all of them!!

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four | my masterlist

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland

prompt: john just can't help himself when he sees you with someone else.

warnings: nsfw!!! smut, fluff, angst, light praise kink, john fucking adores you and spends a good amount of time with his head between your legs (yes i know!!!!!)

John had spotted you from across the London nightclub, his table tucked into the balcony area, perfectly positioned to survey the entire club. It'd been over a month since he laid eyes on you last. Sometimes, he wondered if it was possible for you to only get more beautiful every time he saw you. He wasn't surprised, as he'd been warned of your presence by Tommy, but he was unable to stop himself from staring at you, hair neatly styled, scarlet velvet dress clinging to every curve, red lipstick emphasizing your lips, a light haze of pink pressed into your cheekbones, lash-line expertly darkened with kohl. You were dancing with one of Isaiah's friends; the young man was tall and muscular -- a blinder foot soldier, John concluded, draining his glass of whiskey, flagging the waiter down for another.

The young lad was smiling down at you. John took a swig from his drink bitterly, the man obviously head over heels, his eyes bright, excitedly glancing from your lips to your figure. John could feel himself cringe; the younger man had all the subtlety and strategy of a malnourished dog. Then again, who could blame the lad? You were an absolute vision, twirling and giggling, off your face on something Michael had brought. John couldn't help but watch, wishing it was him who had caught your attention tonight, wanting to feel your breath fan across his neck, pulling away while you giggled at his blushing arousal; him whisking you to dark corners to steal a moment of quiet.

He'd tried to get over you but he couldn't. He'd been travelling a lot lately, business in Liverpool, Edinburgh and Belfast; yet in every woman who smiled at him, he found himself searching for you in their eyes, their smiles, their laugh. They were all gorgeous, but his heart simply wasn't in it.

Tonight had started off alright, normal Peaky activity. They'd seized the club only a few hours ago, gaining vital territory in London, bagging their place in the opiate trade and a successful business prospect in one fell swoop. By all accounts, John should’ve been happy, but he'd been too lost in his own mind lately to properly take in the consequences of those sleepless nights with the accounting books, all the hours practicing shooting and boxing, all the endless driving, the meetings, the lingering stench of death which clung to his family. Try as he might, he couldn't enjoy himself. His night got worse the second he spotted you; a yearning for you suddenly flooding his veins. It was easy to get on with life when you were hundreds of miles from him, but when you were a flight of stairs away? He knew the club had countless dark passages to hide away with you, multiple cloak rooms with thick brick walls to take you against: he had to stop his mind running wild. He couldn't. That had to be the last time. You were in his past, you had to stay there. But as he watched you dance with the blinder, he could feel the familiar burn of jealousy swell deep within him. The lad was far too close to you for his comfort, practically grazing his hips to yours. John roughly rubbed his jaw at the sight, silently seething to himself in the shadows.

Thomas studied his brother's body language, taking a slow drag of his cigarette, not understanding the fuss around you. Sure, you were pretty enough; you were bright, apparently funny, but you had never caught his attention really. He observed how John's eyes followed your every move, every sway of your hips closely watched as he held his breath, losing himself to you. He was glad he'd prompted Michael to invite you; this was the most attentive he'd seen John in a month. It was no coincidence that he'd dragged you away from Birmingham, from the watching eyes of the city locals, the wagging tongues in the assembly lines, far from Ada. Michael had admitted to Thomas that it was easy to persuade you, promising you a lift in his new car and a night out as Ada had plans with a gentleman. A night of dancing with your favourite lads and an all expenses paid trip to London? You couldn't resist.

John's jaw had tensed and squared, the man murmuring something against your neck causing you to giggle and grasp his collar. Thomas could tell his brother was practically bristling with jealousy. If looks could kill, the young man clinging to your hips would be long dead from the glare unleashed on him by the tallest Shelby brother.

"You gonna sit there useless or are you gonna fucking do something about it, eh?" Tommy inquired, nudging him with his shoulder.

"I can't."

"No one will know." Thomas pointed out, raising a brow, "The Blinders will say fuck all if they see owt. They keep quiet when it's about us Shelby brothers, yeah?"

John glanced at him, eyes slightly widened, confusion furrowing his brows. "You've changed your fuckin' tune."

"Sometimes, it's good to have secrets. What Ada doesn't know about the events of tonight won't hurt her."

"We don't do secrets. We're meant to trust each other." John objected. "We're a family."

"Nothing will change, John. I'll fix it for you, yeah? You've had a rough few weeks, you should reward yourself."

"She's not a fuckin’ prize, Tom."

"Keep talking that shit and people will get the wrong idea, think you love the woman or sommet." Thomas shrugged, taking a sip of his drink, while John's cheeks flared, his eyes flinching to the floor. He smirks to himself. "You going to go get your lass, then?"

John replied wordlessly, standing and downing the rest of his drink, pulling on his suit jacket, straightening his collar. "I'll catch you later, Tom."

********

The lad was nice, his name had long disappeared into the fog of liquor and Tokyo. He was someone's cousin, but he was polite; charming, almost. Most importantly, he wasn't related to your best friend. Not quite a Casanova type like John, but you two were a good match, everyone thought so. You'd seen him a few times now over the past week. He wasn't much of a talker, but he was a good dancer, and sweet after a few pints.

The band started playing a slower song, Isaiah dancing chest to chest with a beautiful girl across from you. You felt your partner place his fingers on the small of your back, his fingers inching lower, pulling you in closer before the two of you were interrupted by a dark figure looming over you.

"Can I cut in, mate?" A strong Birmingham accent sliced through the air, voice low and polite enough, but with a tone that was laced with venom. "Or are you gonna be a dick about it?"

The lad glanced nervously between you two, moving his hands away from you, embarrassed to be caught by his boss in this state, John staring him down. You slowly pulled away from him, turning to face John.

"Or you could ask me to dance yourself, John?"

John silently glared back at you, his mouth tensed into a thin line. He looked momentarily embarrassed, his attention switching back to your dance partner, the rest of lads silently watching, breaths baited, ready to jump in on the action if the moment required it.

"I'm heading off mate, reckon she's a cocktease." Your partner comments, attempting to diffuse the tension, stepping away, not wanting a fight or to piss off his boss. His path was quickly blocked by another blinder. You shot him an apologetic look and took the large hand John was offering you.

"Or, she's just not interested in you," John quipped, smirking, locking his fingers through yours. "You gonna go get your coat while I finish up with your best mate?"

"Thought we were dancing?"

"You can dance as much as you like in the suite, yeah? Proper gramophone. You coming?"

"You just want me on my own."

"Just tired of the distractions." He told you pointedly, skimming his glare over the group of men, standing with baited breath, preparing for it to kick off.

You rolled your eyes but squeezed his hands, slowly heading to the cloakroom, chatting with the attendant as you watched John confront the lad, keeping your distance. His arms were clutching the lad's lapels, snarling in his face before pushing him back. Michael watched from a few steps away, smoking absentmindedly, spine pressed to a pillar, leaving his cousin to sort out whatever offense he believed the man had caused.

You bundled yourself up in your thin coat, a gift from one of the girls you hung around with as she had recently married a blinder and was being spoiled rotten. The coat's flimsy material was going to be useless against the London night. At least you could count on John to keep you warm on the walk back to the hotel. You headed towards the side door, John's hand quickly finding your lower back protectively as he fell into step beside you. He opened the heavy wooden doors for you, the cold air an instant relief from the heat of the nightclub. You turned back as the door closed, catching a glimpse of the boys closing in on the lad, their eyes gleaming with a violent hunger for action.

"He'll be alright. Daft prick just getting put in his place." John said flatly. He seemed bored but watched you anxiously, begging you with his eyes to drop the subject.

"Is the hotel close by?" You asked casually, as the frigid air swirled around your calves, instantly causing you to shiver.

"I'll get us a cab, love, can't have you in those heels trekking halfway across London town." He stepped fearlessly into the road, unbothered about any potential danger or just forgetful from the whiskey. Quickly, a dark cab pulled up to the cobblestone pavement and John helped you in, taking off his coat and wrapping it around your shoulders before climbing in after you.

As the engine started and the car made its way through London's dimly lit streets to Camden, John's hand found its way to your thigh. You glanced at him, his eyes looking away but his thumb angled against his teeth. He was nervous, having not touched you in a month. You crossed your legs, angling them towards him, his hand shifting higher up your thighs, taking a deep sigh of relief. Your hands found his chin in the gloom of the back of the car, only the occasional bright lights from a nightlife hub or the demure lights of a residential illuminating his face, the angles changing as the cab drove on. It was too much. You'd been needing this for the past month, needing him. Your hands laced around the back of his head and you pressed your lips to his for a brief moment, allowing John to pull you deeper into the kiss. It awoke something familiar inside you, something comforting. Kissing John erased all your homesickness. Christ, you had to stop thinking like this.

"You've not been about for a bit, sweetheart. I know we said never again, but I was hoping you'd come by," John muttered, forehead pressed to yours, breath mingling with yours as he spoke.

"I almost did. The amount of times I nearly visited your office.. I just couldn't do that to you or Ada. Besides, last I heard, you were on tour." You admitted, keeping your voice down to save the cab driver the embarrassment. John caressed your cheekbone with his thumb, tracing the corner of your mouth, prompting a grin from you.

"Last place on earth I'd expected to see you next, it's been hectic my end," He sighed. His eyes were outlined with deep purple smudges of exhaustion, yet he was still devastatingly beautiful even after all the sleepless nights. "It's been too long."

"Not my fault you've been hiding yourself away. You should've called."

"Blame Tommy for that. His solution seems to be sending me on business trips. Trying to make me too tired to handle you." A nervous lick of his lips revealed John’s response to the suggestion that he call you. He wanted to say he would ring next time, but there couldn't be a next time.

"You can barely handle me on a good day, Mr. Shelby."

"Can't blame me. You seen yourself? On the brink as soon as I see you, lass." He teased, earning a gentle shove to the shoulder as you quickly pressed a kiss underneath his chin. You wanted to bring up Thomas' threat, but you bit your tongue, nudging his shin with the toe of your heel in the back of the cab. He rolled his eyes, grabbing your wrists lightly. "Behave yourself in front of the nice cabbie, sweetheart."

You soften at his touch, unable to resist reaching to interlock your fingers, squeezing his hands in yours affectionately. The spirits your table had been bringing you all night definitely boosted your confidence, any hesitancy due to potential rejection drowned out. John pressed his lips to your knuckles in response. He seemed different tonight, far more protective and serious than usual. He was so quiet it was strange, usually yapping your ear off, desperate for you to react, treating him to a giggle, a middle finger or a cutting response. You'd also never witnessed him spark off due to someone's interaction with you. Finn had mentioned a week or so back that John had a shouting match with Thomas and in the moment, your name got thrown up in the conversation, resulting in John taking a swing at his big brother out of frustration. It was confusing. He was willing to start fights over you, punch his brother, yet when you two were alone he was uncomfortably quiet, studying you, lost in his thoughts. His silence only made your body long for him, his fingers tracing patterns in your inner thigh. You let out a small whimper into the crook of his neck, as he instinctively pressed a kiss to your shoulder.

The car pulled up outside the hotel, your pulse racing, the anticipation already threatening to make you give in completely to his wishes tonight. You waited as he turned up his collar against the rain, clambering out of the car to open your door, creatively arranging the coat to hover just above both your heads protecting you from the miserable weather. Although John had referred to the building as a hotel, you could instantly tell the manor was some aristocrat's third or fourth home, obviously being rented out or gifted to business partners for trips. It was an imposing grey stone building, exquisitely carved, although not a country estate, the house was just as large. Was John used to this? It hit you all of a sudden that you'd never set foot inside John's home. You'd heard from Ada that it was overrun with hoards of screaming children. She often joked with the children at the Shelby Institute that if they hung around long enough at John's, he'd assume they were one of his offspring. You'd only ever fucked him in a guest bed. The shame made your stomach churn.

You needed to remind yourself of this when your late night thoughts ran rampant. John could say what he liked, but he'd never actually allow you to get overly personal with him. Whatever confusing mess was winding around your skull regarding him was useless; it was best not to think about it. You went to him every time, yet he would've picked another lass tonight, it was just that you were there. He probably had a string of gorgeous women, older, more accomplished, more experienced, more elegant. He could tell you he missed you, but you could never take for granted that he told you this for any other reason than as a prelude to get you in bed with him. You were his gorgeous mess, but only for the night. It was best to remind yourself to care less than he did. It was the easiest solution in the long term; this way, the downfall would be less brutal.

"You alright, love?" He asked suddenly, breaking your train of thought.

"Sorry, I was thinking about work."

He lived around his brothers for long enough, he could smell bullshit. He decided to let it go. It was best to not push it tonight. Just keep it light hearted, easy, like it was always meant to be.

"If your boss keeps being a prick, you tell Ada. She'll sort him out."

"Don't I know it? He can barely open the door before she starts on about workplace ethics." You joked, earning a small smile instead of his usual bright chuckle. "John, what are we doing here?"

"Well I'm about to take you upstairs and sort you out, yeah? You gonna let me look after you?" He asked, stopping you in your tracks by turning you into him, grabbing your wrist.

"You know that isn't what I meant."

"I know. But can we leave it tonight? Can we just have fun?" He questioned, lips ghosting over yours, fixing you with an intense stare.

"It's fun anymore." Your voice cracked, the liquor in your system making it impossible to control your tone or your facial expressions. "It's fucking with my head, John."

"It's just.. fucking difficult. It's fucking difficult because of who we are." He replied firmly but dropped his makeshift coat shelter around your shoulders, freeing his hands to grab your face pulling it to his, the alcohol making him far needier than he usually appeared. "You, my beautiful Y/N, are a fucking losing game. It's not as easy for me, I can't just dance with a woman and get a leg over-"

"I never said you couldn't."

"I know, I.." He gestured vaguely, lifting one of his hands off your cheeks, and you can feel your head nodding in understanding. "You know, I thought I was going to manage it this time. That I wouldn't be a total fuck up, but then you and that lad-"

"Catch you getting jealous over me."

"Fuck off." He let go of you for a split second but you reeled him back in, resting your palms on the chest of his shirt, the soaked material sticking to his skin. You'd struck a nerve. You decided to push him further.

"I don't know what you're trying to do, Mr. Shelby, disappearing across the country for weeks then coming back and telling me you want me all to yourself?" You played with his collar, tugging his face to yours before pulling back at the last possible second, causing him to let out a frustrated groan, hands itching to feel you underneath them.

"Don't fucking wind me up," He snapped, the intensity between you rekindled momentarily.

"It's worked wonders in the past," You replied, barely able to finish your sentence before his mouth was on yours, his fingers tangling into your hair, kissing you properly. Although you'd kissed so many times prior, this one felt so genuine, as though unleashed from its restraints deep within John. You'd never kissed anyone in the rain before in the middle of the night, and it felt magical. You were shivering but hot all over, burning for John to do something, anything. You could feel his cock through his dress pants, hard against you, prompting you to moan into his mouth.

"Fuck’s sake, Y/N," John grunted into your ear, his hands grabbing at your arse. "You're fuckin’ killing me here. I need you, yeah?"

"Tell me how badly." You responded coyly, linking your arms around his neck, ignoring the late night drizzle.

"I'd rather show you. M’gonna take care of you tonight, make up for the month I've been gone."

"Who's saying I've not been taking care of myself?'

He bit his lip in frustration, trying to stop his mind running wild with the image of you in bed, fingers between your thighs, breasts moving as you arched your back, hips lifting off the mattress, moaning as you called his name -- his jaw clenched. "I know what you're doing. You coming up before you catch a chill?"

You shifted your weight away from him, as if considering your options. He knew your answer; you both knew in a few minutes you'd be upstairs practically tearing his shirt off, needing his skin against yours, begging for him. John pulled away from you, dragging you up the winding path to the front door of the manor, opening the door for you, arm wrapping around your waist. His lips met yours, then your collarbones and neck, prompting a breathy giggle and whine as you wound yourself back around him, craving the contact. The manor was plunged in darkness, staff somewhere in the gloom. Your arrival had definitely been noted, but as with everyone who worked for the Shelbys, they just left you to it. It was easier to not get involved, to keep their heads down and not mention the midnight trysts the brothers got up to.

John knew his path, he'd stayed here before. Even in the dark you could tell the house was decorated to spare no expense, the gaudy paintings and sculptures casting strange shadows. He led you up the grand flight of stairs, then another.

"Worse than Thomas' estate, this place." You murmured quietly, unsure of other guests within earshot.

"I could never live like this. I'd never see my brood again. Getting them ready for bed would be one hell of a nightmare." He whispered back, halting your stride by pulling your hips to his, unable to wait any longer.

"John, what if we get caught?" You asked, pressing your hand against his chest with your palm flat.

"Never bothered you before. Thought you liked the fact that anyone could just walk in and see what a pretty little mess you’ve made for me."

You couldn’t help yourself from pressing an affectionate kiss to his mouth, letting him lay you down and pin you to the stairs, the luxuriously thick carpets scraping into your flesh. He cursed under his breath at the sight of you underneath him, pushing your dress up your thighs, lifting your legs to wrap around his neck, pressing a kiss to your flimsy underwear, glancing up to drink you in. The most beautiful woman in his city, begging for him, figure swamped by his coat, rain soaked and shivering, his mouth between her thighs. He ran his tongue slowly across your clothed core, your pleading moans music to his ears, loving how your thighs tightened around his neck. His tongue traced circles over your clit and labia, the friction generated by the lace of your panties pushing you further, your hands knotting into his hair, spine arching against his mouth.

"No one been looking after you while I was gone. eh?" He asked, pressing kisses to your inner thigh, tugging your panties to the side. "What about your dancing pal?"

"Fuck’s sake, I barely know him, John." You snapped back, teetering on the edge between lust and frustration from his relentless teasing.

"Keep it that way. You don't need ‘im, lass, not while I'm about." He replies before lapping at your slit, interpreting your moans as approval as your head slumped back and you released a low groan. "Y/N, watch me, yeah?"

You pull yourself weakly upwards, propping yourself up in your elbows to be able to look down the staircase at John between your legs in the dark. The view was thrilling, moonlight shining in through the rain on the window, illuminating his face, hair messy and tongue flickering across your clit while he stared up at you, his eyes darkened with lust. You couldn't help but pant, knowing you'd be returning to this moment alone at night, when it was your fingers instead of John's tongue pushing you towards the edge.

"So fuckin' wet and ready for me, aren’t you?" He crooned, sliding his fingers into you, sucking at your clit between flicks of his tongue.

You couldn’t find the words to respond, whimpers leaving your mouth instead, your hips lifting beneath his palms, chest heaving.

"Go on, use your words, clever lass."

"John, fuck.. don't stop," You manage to string together, thoughts too muddled by alcohol and arousal to play hard to get any longer.

"I won't ‘til you cum in my mouth. Need to taste you again, beautiful."

Your head jerked back suddenly as John curled his fingers inside you, pushing up against the spot that made you lose your mind, his name falling from your lips like a prayer, all he could hear except from his blood rushing in his head. Your desperate cries for relief caused his cock to strain against his dress pants, fighting the urge to sort himself out, needing to finish you off. John needed to prove that he could fuck you better than anyone else. He knew he was pushing you to the edge, but he wasn't going to deny you your orgasm. He wanted to make a point with this. His fingers worked faster, his mouth hungry for you, lips moving against your core at a harsh pace.

You groaned loudly, hips bucking involuntarily just to be forced back against the carpet of the staircase. Your breaths grew heavier, warning him how close you were to your peak. John refused to let up, pushing you closer every second, lips latched to your core firmly, lapping up the wetness he'd produced.

"I want to watch you finish." He commanded, you completely at his will now that you'd lost control, lifting your head upwards with the little strength you had left to be able to stare down at his dilated blue eyes. "Good girl. You gonna show me how good I make you feel? You gonna cum for me, doll?"

You couldn't respond, unable to keep your eyes from rolling backwards as you felt yourself suddenly release, John’s name escaping from between your lips, legs shuddering around his neck. He let you ride it out on his tongue, tasting you desperately, watching your expression slowly relax.

Finally, he pulled away from your cunt, unwrapping your legs from his neck. He grabbed your wrist, not letting you retrieve your panties, stuffing them into his trouser pocket. He returned his attention to tracing your slit with the index finger and thumb of his other hand, as he pressed a long kiss to your lips.

"I love how you taste," He murmured against your lips, causing you to flush slightly. John noticed, pressing kisses to your jawbone. "Don't get shy on me now. I've barely started with you. Not even got you to the suite and you've already cum."

He looked so proud of himself, it suddenly clicked for you. He was trying to prove himself to you, for some unknown reason. You know he was protective and quite obviously jealous tonight, but you couldn't believe that John Shelby felt the need to prove that he knew what he was doing, as though you weren't aware. You weren't trekking to his office for mediocre sex. Tonight he let you finish first, no teasing, no denial, no fucking about. Just putting his ability fully on show, so when your mind went drifting it'd go back to him, not some young lad who barely knew what he was doing. His cocky attitude and smug acceptance of his sexual prowess would've been off-putting if it was anyone else, but John, but with his bright smile and constant humour, pulled it off. It was enticing, making your core pool with wetness when he crossed your mind.

"A month is far too long, Mr. Shelby."

"I know, you're practically drooling over me." He teased. He seems a lot more himself than before. He’d been too caught up in his head, too focused on getting you off to enjoy the flirting and teasing. John loved how light-hearted he could be with you. Despite the mess you were both in, it was making you laugh or roll your eyes that soothed his mind. Honestly, if it was just sex he'd have cut you off instantly; he wouldn't have even gone there out of loyalty to Ada. Admittedly, it was your company and presence that had him absolutely on his knees for you, the way he felt understood, less alone in his brother's bullshit, less trapped by his criminal career because you understood. You always had a cutting line, a bright smile just for him, an eye roll at his brothers' daft plans, a choice curse word for Thomas. He didn't even want to consider what would happen after the night ended. He stood, pressing another kiss to your lips as he helped you to your feet, fixing his coat which hung off your shoulders.

"You ready for rounds two through to six?"

"John, you know you won't get through three with me."

"You’re right, you're just too pretty when you’re riding my cock." He teased, the vulgar material of his jibe earning him a joking shove before you curl into his side, letting him escort you up the stairs to the nearest bedroom. He quickly shut the door behind you, scooping you up in his arms, causing you to let out a laugh as he practically tossed you onto the king sized bed, eyes shining with adoration as he looked down at you grinning back up at him.

“You’re something else, John Shelby.”

[babyyweebbitch]

Can you make a GC for the RE Boys + Piers and Jake where they try to calm down an angry reader but ended up getting a bloody nose by accident?

😀 yes. I’m so sorry this took a few days. I couldn’t get creative enough in one day for this. I’m so so sorry!

Genre // I have no idea what to call it ; fluff (towards the ends)

TW // angy/stressed reader ; blood ; arguing ; Leon being adorable af

Characters // Leon, Carlos, Jake, Piers

Leon Kennedy

You weren’t really having the best day today. You woke up late which made you late for work, you had so much work to do, two meetings and your boss ended getting mad at you because you didn’t do everything you had to that day

Everything was so shitty you felt like punching a brick wall. On top of that you had to fix the tire on your truck since it popped. Today wasn’t really the day to be fucked with

You got home and threw your bag on the floor, took off your shoes and went to the dining room to sit at the table. You felt so pissed off and tired. You heard the footsteps of your boyfriend coming from you bedroom

“You okay…? You usually never come in like this…” Leon spoke as he placed a hand on your back, you quickly moved his hand away

“Don’t touch me right now…” you responded and Leon looked almost offended. He sat next to you and Leon being Leon he still continued to get you to talk to him about your day

“Honey please… I’ll get you a glass of water maybe some food so you can talk… did you eat your lunch I packed for you?” Pls protect this man at all costs 🥺

“Leon please…. I don’t want to talk about it I’m too tired, im stressed the hell out, Please just go away!” the stress from that day was too much for you to handle and you started to cry from it

Leon hated seeing you this stressed. He knew you didn’t mean any of that it was just the emotions were too much for you to handle right now. He knows exactly how you feel because he gets the same way too. The difference between you and him is you don’t tell him you’re stressed and he hates that “baby….”

Leon went over to you to hug you but you put your hand up thinking it was his shoulder, you pushed him away “Leon please! I-“ you looked up at him and realised it wasn’t his shoulder it was his face you pushed

Leon stood back and wiped his nose before looking at it — He was bleeding… Seeing the blood and knowing you did that made you feel like shit… you started to cry more “I-I’m sorry!”

Leon went to get some tissue and wipe the blood before getting more to plug that nostril. He surprisingly wasn’t mad “don’t be.. I get you’re upset” he washed his hands and went over to hug you. You hugged back

“You’re not mad at me…?”

“I get your upset and I know you didn’t mean it. Look Let’s go get you changed and cleaned up then we can watch a movie” he suggested as he helped you up. This man never got mad with you even if you accidentally hurt him like now. Especially when your emotions explode like that

😡 —————————————— 😡

Carlos Oliveira

It’s been a long and stressful month for you. Umbrella was working you like a dog, making you do all these papers, tasks, one stressful mission

Ontop of all this you weren’t getting as much sleep as you would like. When you got home Carlos was already home since he wasn’t worked as much as you were so he got to go home earlier

You put all your stuff on the floor by the door and stormed to your bedroom, you looked like you were crying the entire drive home mainly cause you were

“Well hello to you to…” Carlos said under his breath as he dried his hands off and turned off the sink water. He was washing the dishes since he was about to make dinner “hey! What’s up with you?” Carlos walked into the room to see you crying on the bed

“Carlos I can’t deal with this job anymore… I honestly fucking can’t anymore. They’ve been working me like a dog, no brakes, nothing!” You said as Carlos went over to you and sighed

“I’m sorry…. I-“

“No you aren’t being if you were you would have noticed by now and said something! Tried to at least help me once” you got up and grabbed a fresh pair of clothes

“Whoa what the hell? I asked you if you needed help like two weeks ago with papers and you said no. I tried to help you but you said you can handle it”

“Carlos…. Please just go away and let me be… I don’t need this right now”

“I — Talk to me please. I wanna help I’m sorry I didn’t…” Carlos walked over and placed his hands on your shoulders as if trying to comfort you

You snapped and pushed him away “Carlos please! I said — oh no…” you finally realised how hard you pushed him because now his nose was bleeding, two drops fell on the floor

Carlos was more shocked that you managed to push him THAT hard he put his hand to his nose and started at you. You just stood there expecting him to be mad at you and like storm out the room or something but he just chuckled “well damn…”

You stood there and stared at him, you felt so bad you looked at your hands as if they were weapons “I-I hurt you…. I’m so sorry please, Carlos!” Your voice shook as you started to cry again

Carlos held his hand on his nose then grabbed yours with his free hand, you flinched at his touch since you were afraid you were gonna hurt him again “I know you didn’t mean it honey… don’t beat yourself up over it. You were pissed and exploded. You see how I get when I’m like that — I just never hit you because I’m not like that. Accidents happen”

Let’s just say you didn’t touch him for like three weeks after that

😡 —————————————— 😡

Jake Muller

Jake was always able to tell when something was wrong with you from a mile away. He knew everything mainly because he was very observant. So when you were pissed he knew.

You’ve been in a pissy mood all day and Jake finally decided to say something about “hey. The hell is up with you? You’ve been mad all day and won’t even give me a kiss”

“I’m fine Jake…”

“It’s your dad again isn’t it? I told you to tell me whenever he —“

“Jake — Didn’t I just say I’m fine?” You turn to look at him. There was no convincing Jake you were fine since he knew

“Well you’re obviously not fucking fine — You wouldn’t be using that tone with me if you were” Jake said as you stood up and he stood up after you. You let out a very annoyed sigh and walked away, Jake being Jake followed behind you “please tell me what’s wrong I don’t like arguing with you. That’s my least favourite thing to do”

You shut the door and Jake wasn’t really paying attention so he continued walking and he ran face first into the door. All you hear is “ah fuck!” From the other side of the door, this made you start laughing a bit before opening the door and looking at Jake — Funny how your mood changed 🧍🏾‍♀️

Jake held his nose and looked at you “you meant that didn’t you?” He asked before walking to the bathroom to see his nose, it was bleeding but not that much

“Your dumbass didn’t pay attention, that’s kinda your fault but mine at the same time” you chuckled, Jake got some toilet paper and plugged his nose with it before washing his hands “will you tell me what’s wrong now without an attitude?”

You agreed and you eventually told him what was wrong on, you did get mad again because of what happened but Jake ended up calming you down without his nose getting half of that anger like last night 😀

(I just wanted to make this one funnier 😭😭)

😡 —————————————— 😡

Piers Nivans

Just like Jake he was able to tell when you were upset and about to explode at any second but he didn’t want almost all day before asking you. He was the type when he sensed something was off with you he’d automatically confront you. It was kinda scary on how fast he did this too

“Babe… is something bothering you? You’re not acting correct….” Piers asked as you stared at him. You shook your head and piers immediately knew it was bullshit, he grabbed you hand gently “you don’t have to hide this from me you know…”

You pull your hand away and stand up “Piers im fine. Please…” you tell him and he’s not falling for it. Piers is stubborn and won’t stop until he gets an answer. He grabbed your hand and you kinda snapped and pushed him away “Piers! I told you I’m fine. Stop” you told him. Not really raising your voice but it was stern. You didn’t think you pushed him hard but Piers also did get hurt in weird ways even though he was in the BSAA

“Babe….” He said, his voice sounded so hurt and he felt something drip from his nose and looked down to see it was blood. You felt so fucking bad you started crying “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to I got mad!” You pleaded as you backed away, Piers immediately hugged you because he knew he probably pushed it this time, using a free hand to cover his nose so he didn’t get blood on you

“Honey I’m sorry…. I pushed you too much I’m sorry. Also I get bloody noses a lot so this is nothing” Piers was lying about the bloody nose part, he didn’t want you to feel bad

You didn’t touch him for a week after that 🥺

[greetings-inferiors]

Actually answers at 10AM like a boss 😎

I like drumming! I have talked about it a bit but let’s be honest for me that’s hardly anything. Music is a massive thing for me and I really like making it! But making it as in making sounds not composing nonono I do not want to compose. This is how I feel about all performing arts; I do not want to devise, just give me a script; I do not want to choreograph, just tell me what to dance; I do not want to compose, just give me the sheet music. I basically enjoy all percussion (except tuned because I can’t read music but it’s really exhilarating to get it right so I don’t mind that much), but ESPECIALLY the timpani. I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m quite a LOUD PERSON, and a drum that’s able to flatten a city if you play it loud enough is so much fun. Add to that that it’s all the cool parts of being a tuned instrument without actually having to learn how to play tuned, it’s so so so much fun!

I’m not really a fan of the countryside. As in, I can enjoy the countryside, but it’s a bit boring. Like yes it can be beautiful but, especially in England, if you’ve seen one countryside you’ve seen them all. Cities are just more stimulating, there’s more to do, and it’s full of humans, actual evidence of intelligence, instead of the countryside which is only fake evidence of intelligence (epic religious burn amiright gamers). I won’t say no to a countryside holiday but I’m not jumping out of my seat to go look at grass and farm animals for miles and miles.

I don’t think I think about clothes enough to have a favourite pattern 😂

Like clothes for me are vectors for ‘not breaking the law for streaking’ and not much else. At least they’re not shoes, which are so forgettable and out of the way that I’m flabbergasted that people spend so much money on shoes as they do - like that is literally the last place you look, the feet, it’s maybe five or ten percent of the whole outfit, why is there such an emphasis on shoes, they’re to protect our feet why do our feet need to look good? Idk

The only time a pattern has been special to me was when I was dating and me and my partner had matching button up shirts with a black and white cross hatches (is that the term? Like stripes but both horizontal and vertical) and it kind of became our style, like we’d coordinate going into school with the same shirt on Fridays so we’d be a cute matching couple, it was great. So that pattern reminded me of them which is why I liked it so much. But now it’s just back to being ‘just another shirt’.

It’s 3AM ask me anything, like why the fuck are you awake and ooh how expensive was that shirt where did you buy it it looks lovely Oh you got that as a gift do you know where they got it for you oh well that’s a shame maybe you should buy more clothes instead of only wearing things you get as gifts no wonder you only have like two pairs of tracksuit bottoms it’s because no one wants to be the person gifting FUCKING TRACKSUIT BOTTOMS-

[dreamyyang]

summary: you made taeil’s undead heart soar and he was absolutely addicted to the feeling.

pairing(s): yandere!zombie!moon taeil x reader | kim doyoung x reader

warning(s): swearing, obsessive behaviour, mentions of blood, gore (kind of..?), minor character death, cannibalism, non con (taeil forcefully kisses the reader)

word count: 2.6k words

a/n: this is pretty heavy stuff so if any of the aforementioned content triggers you, do not read. please note that I do not condone taeil’s behaviour and that this is purely a work of fiction. my fic is not an accurate representation of taeil’s actual personality. 

part of @127-mile’s addiction collab

emotions were as foreign to moon taeil as brains and human flesh once were. while he doesn’t mind either of them, they were just very hard to come by. that changed when he got a job at the qian family’s mortuary, courtesy of qian kun, a mutual friend. johnny had already explained taeil’s special situation to kun, who agreed to give taeil access to the bodies so long as he worked as kun’s assistant. it was an excellent arrangement for both men - taeil could finally eat some proper food while kun finally had help. for obvious reasons, not many people were willing to work at a morgue, especially for such low wages.

taeil managed to ease himself into a routine of work, brains, sleep then repeat. while many people would eventually go insane from being constantly surrounded by cold, still bodies, taeil couldn’t care less. a zombie couldn’t ask for a better arrangement. while he did not experience emotions, he still felt a semblance of peace.

at least, that was before you showed up, completely unannounced. of course, your arrival wasn’t completely random, kun did warn taeil that his cousin was coming home after getting their phd, but you weren’t what taeil expected. he had this mental image of you being stoic and reserved. he thought you’d briefly acknowledge him with a slight nod while visiting your cousin and that would be it. imagine his surprise when he came to work and was greeted by a smile brighter than the sun. you were like the human embodiment of a meadow of flowers in the summer - warm, wonderful and welcoming. hell, you even smelled like flowers.

suddenly, his daily routine was ruined. 

most mornings, you would meet him at the mortuary, looking as fresh as a daisy, and hand him an equally fresh box of baked goods from the bakery next to your clinic. if it was a slow morning, and it usually was, you would make small talk with him while kun went over the day’s plans in his office. he began to cherish those morning conversations with you and his undead heart would sink when the clock struck nine and it was time for you to hug him and kun goodbye. from then on, he was usually in a sour mood for the rest of the day, not humouring the silly jokes kun made as they worked. he would get off work with a dull ache in his heart if you weren’t there to pick kun up or offer to take them out for drinks.

this abrupt change frightened taeil more than anything. why was he suddenly experiencing these strange feelings? he hated it. every day, he was going through a rollercoaster of emotions that would be decided by whether or not he saw his boss’ cousin. it was so absurd. in the past five years of him being a zombie, he hadn’t felt such extreme emotions before. they all felt so...so human.

when he consulted johnny about these strange occurrences, his friend began to howl with laughter, “dude, it’s so obvious!” 

taeil glared at johnny, “care to explain what exactly is so obvious?”

“you like y/n. why else would you be constantly pining for them?” 

taeil scoffed. johnny must have smoked something because there was no way he liked you. at best, he had known you for three months and it isn’t like you regularly spent time together. plus, you were related to his boss. johnny had no idea what he was talking about, he was full of shit.

“that’s bullshit. I don’t buy it,” taeil shook his head, leaning back in his chair.

“no I swear, it’s true! we drove past this factory and they were just beheading these chickens out in the open,” you sighed. “anyway, the sight was so sickening, I’ve never looked at meat the same way since.”

“yet you decided to be a thoracic surgeon.”

you shrugged, “yeah but operating on people and eating meat are two different things. I don’t mind looking at flesh and blood but the thought of eating any makes me sick.”

taeil silently thanked you as you made that statement. ever since johnny had suggested that taeil liked you, he’d been searching for reasons not to like you. and of course, there’s no way he could like you if you were a vegetarian. you would be absolutely disgusted if you knew what his main diet consisted of. yet, every now and then, he felt his mind drifting away to a different mental list - a list of the things he liked about you.

he liked how you would come up with the most absurd conversation starters, just to make him crack a smile. he liked how your hugs were warm and comfortable. he was even beginning to like the fuzzy feeling that would envelop his heart whenever he was around you. you made him giddy and lovesick and eventually, he didn’t mind anymore. being around you all the time forced him to accept that he had very strong feelings for you. in fact, he was certain that even as a human, he had never had feelings this intense. there was just something special about you that had him feeling some sort of way. normally, he would have been afraid of how you controlled your heart but now? he was in too deep to care.

he decided it was better for him to just accept the fact that he loved you. why try to fight it? it was highly unlikely that he would feel this way about anyone ever again. he had to hold onto you, he would be insane to let you go. 

finally, he plucked up the courage to confess to you. he was falling for you more and more every single day, and not being with you was slowly killing him. he decided to surprise you at the clinic where you worked with a bouquet of your favourite flowers. he planned to treat you to lunch at a romantic café then confess to you while walking you back to the clinic. he had rehearsed the little speech he wanted to give over twenty times with johnny, who repeatedly assured him that everything would go well. 

it did not go well.

taeil was greeted by a unpleasant surprise when he reached the entrance of the clinic. there you stood, his beloved y/n, in another man’s arms. taeil watched, horrified, as the man placed a soft kiss on your lips. you looked so happy with him and it broke taeil’s heart. he felt awful as he watched you smile at the man. that same wonderful smile that he wished was for his eyes only. it felt like a cruel joke to have your laughter fill his ears as tears pricked his eyes. taeil was glad that nobody was paying attention to him as hot tears stained his cheeks. he couldn’t have gotten away sooner, pushing past the people on the street to go home. 

he quickly texted an excuse to kun about how he felt sick and would be gone for the rest of the day. it wasn’t exactly a lie - he did feel sick and every time he thought about you and the stranger, it only got worse. he ripped up the bouquet and the plastic that had been wrapped around their stems, screaming as he did it. pain bled into fury as he destroyed the beautiful flowers. he was unbelievably angry and wouldn’t stop until every last petal had been snatched from the base and scattered on the floor. he was blinded by rage as he made a mess of his apartment floor. finally, the bouquet had been completely ripped apart and tears cleared taeil’s vision.

he dropped to the floor, feeling miserable as he stared at the mess, tears streaking down his face. he loved you so much, but someone had stolen you away. how dare that asshole? you were supposed to be taeil’s, how could he just come between the two of you like that? how incredibly selfish of him. taeil had to get rid of him, as soon as possible. the more time you spend with that jerk, the more he’ll ruin you. taeil scowled at the memory of the two of you kissing. he will pay.

 it was decided. taeil was going to make you his, one way or another. whether you liked it or not.

“I hate this, taeil.”

taeil nodded, feigning sympathy as you pouted and continued to complain, “doyoung’s been so busy the past week that he hasn’t been able to call me even once. he just sends brief texts… I really miss him.”

“that sucks, y/n, but you know, it’s a very demanding job.”

“yeah I know…but would it kill him to at least call to say good night?” you sighed, sipping your tea. “whatever. thank you so much for listening to my rant, taeil, I really appreciate it. you’re an awesome friend.”

the word stung, but taeil tried not to show it as he smiled and promised you that he didn’t mind. which was half true. taeil could never get tired of listening to you talk about any topic but one - kim doyoung, your boyfriend. it didn’t really matter, though. soon, taeil would make sure that you would forget all about that piece of shit. soon, moon taeil would be the only thing on your mind, just like how you were the only thing on his min

but first he had to punish you. you deserved it. if you hadn’t gone and dated another man, he wouldn’t have considered such a thing. you needed to be disciplined. you belonged to taeil and he was going to make sure that you remembered that fact. so he sat there in front of you, politely nodding as you vented about your boyfriend, and tried to think of a suitable punishment.

“I know I’m complaining about him a lot, but I really like doyoung,” you laughed. “even though he took me to a barbecue place for our first date.”

that’s when a lightbulb went off in taeil’s brain.

for someone who couldn’t survive without eating brains, taeil sure was an idiot. somehow, he’d gotten roped into a dinner date with you, doyoung and doyoung’s sister, jisoo. at least he managed to convince you to let him host the dinner at his apartment, insisting that he wanted to make a good first impression on jisoo. you’d wiggled your eyebrows and teased him about it but he knew, deep down, setting him up with someone else was hurting you. but you wouldn’t have to worry about hiding your feelings for much longer - taeil would soon relieve you of your misery. ideally of course, he wouldn’t want to start off your relationship with a double date with other people. not to mention your little punishment, but hey, all relationships have their ups and downs.

now if he could just get that pesky little jisoo out of the way.

after briefly stalking doyoung’s instagram account, taeil managed to find jisoo’s account and figured out where she worked. getting her to stay away was easier than he thought it would be. all he had to do was press a small knife against her neck and she was begging for him to leave her alone. he left her trembling in the alley behind her office, with her tears stinging the small cut that ran down the side of her cheek. he wasn’t worried about her telling her brother since that’s who he’d be visiting next.

he had to say, out of all the humans he’d made dishes out of, doyoung was certainly the best. probably because his meat was actually fresh, but you really seemed to enjoy him as well.

“god taeil, your spaghetti is wonderful. I can’t believe doyoung and jisoo are missing out,” you nearly moaned as you devoured your dinner. “these are the best vegan meatballs I’ve ever had. seriously, how’d you make this?”

taeil shrugged, “I used a pretty basic recipe, although I did use something extra special for those meatballs.”

“would you mind sharing what that special thing is, master moon?”

taeil’s smile dropped, his expression completely serious now. you didn’t think much of it, taeil was probably just being dramatic. however his tone as he spoke his next sentence sent a chill down your spine.

“enough dilly-dallying. tell me, sweetheart, did you really think you could get away with dating another man?”

you were too stunned to speak, what the fuck did he just say?

“woah, don’t get shy now. did you seriously think you could go be someone else's whore and I wouldn’t get mad?”

“taeil, what on earth are you talking about?”

you looked like a scared and helpless little rabbit and taeil would be lying if he said that didn’t make him feel some type of way. taeil’s predatory gaze burned into your eyes, ensnaring you and refusing to let go. you were confused. why was taeil behaving like this? why was he so angry with you? but you were certain about one thing: tonight was not going to end well for you. 

with a gentle voice, you tried to calm him down so the two of you could have a rational conversation but taeil wasn’t having any of it. he grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you up to your feet, stepping away from the dining table and pulling you close till your chest brushed against his. suddenly, his steely gaze slightly softened.

“y/n, my love, I hope you know that I didn’t want to do this to you, but you left me no choice. you forced my hand.”

tears were beginning to well up in your eyes. taeil was getting frustrated. you knew exactly what he was talking about yet you were acting as though taeil was speaking in cryptic messages. taeil noticed your tears and tsked, cupping your cheeks. there was no point in you crying now. the deed was done. taeil was hoping you’d learnt your lesson so the two of you could move past this.

“don’t cry, sweetheart. at least, not until you know what I did.”

“but taeil, I don’t even know what I’ve done,” you sniffed lightly.

“darling, I love you. and I know you love me too, you don’t need to say it. but why did you have to go and date doyoung? do you know how much that hurt me?”

you shook your head, “taeil, I really didn’t know how you felt. but I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same way.”

taeil glared and tightened his grip on your jaw, “fucking lies! that dickhead doyoung has brainwashed you. oh my precious y/n, I feel so awful for punishing you the way I did, but how else will I fix you?”

“what do you mean?” you asked, afraid of the answer he was going to give you.

“those vegan meatballs, darling. although I suppose the term ‘doyoung meatballs’ would be more accurate.”

your beautiful features were twisted into a look of pure horror as realisation dawned upon you. taeil couldn’t help but let his lips form a maniacal grin. he was rather proud, even if he did say so himself. doyoung would never be a problem ever again. nor would anyone else be, for that matter. taeil knew that you were his good, obedient little y/n. you wouldn’t dare to hurt him ever again. satisfied, he leaned in and forced you into a kiss. you were too shocked to fight back.

as he pulled away, he pushed the hair out of your face.

“remember to behave yourself, darling.”