haikyuu characters as texts sent by my irl groupchat
Aone: You can't beat me, I lack eyebrows
Tanaka: If I ever rule a country, instead of saluting, we'll dab
Nishinoya: Today was a productive day. I stabbed a Pepsi
Kita: The merciful despacito gods
Kiyoko: horror au: everyone is straight now
Osamu: It's okay, we'll revive him with pasta salad
Kageyama: If you're an egg, you're a dumbass
Lev: Mario's looking really happy, completely destroying capitalism
Oikawa: Calm down... he said sexily
Bokuto: By day, I'm your dad. By night, I'm your mom, and in the afternoons I'm whatever you want
Kuroo: The relationship between my best friend and I can be summarized by the fact that we accuse each other of being furries, and then we aggressively meow at each other
Sugawara: Hey, what the hell? Just tell them to go fuck themselves. And calm down
Koganegawa: So, to recruit this one guy I need to recruit his childhood friend. and to recruit his childhood friend I need to pLAY SOCCER AGAINST DINOSAURS
Hinata: What is that microwave in the hallway for?
Tsukishima: The teachers will throw it at you if you misbehave
Hinata: Cual es tu motherfucking name, joder?
Yamamoto: Everything is losses today. First fortnite kid leaves. And now you do this to me
Alisa: The L in LGBT is for Luigi. I am An LL, THE Luigi Lesbian
Asahi: Animal Crossing: Survival Mode
Matsukawa: Youtube recommended me a Romeo and Cinderella cover sung by Spongebob, and now I'm gonna make it your problem too
Hanamaki: The best way to start Pride Month is calling people out for Homestuck Crimes
Kinoshita: It was worth the risk. Or the dick, cause I have seen a lot
Fukunaga: As far as I know, you can't make a baby breath out fire
Atsumu: I'm the seer of... Time? Heart? Seer of I FUCKING KNEW IT. HELL YEAH!
Konoha: IGNORE MY GAY NINJA EPIPHANY, WON'T YOU
Ushijima: I ended up breaking the floor by beyblade-ing too hard
Natsu: And that's all I am now. A communist baby
Yaku: Do you know what's the difference between fruit milkshakes and fruit juice? Can't be the milk, some juices have milk too
Lev: ... fuit
Shirabu: In the game of cardboard, either you win or you die
Hoshiumi: He has lost tiny privileges. if he calls anyone else short, I'll have to arrest him
Kenma: Bowser is actually a gay icon because in Mario 64, when you throw him Mario says "So long, gay Bowser!", which compliments Luigi being a literal disaster gay. In this essay I will-
Nishinoya: You tell them, Hinata! Just because we're short doesn't mean we can't stab them
Saeko: TODAY I LEARNED THAT LESBIANISMS CAN SOLVE LITERALLY ANYTHING
That one nationals guy and his gf, I forgot their names: WE ARE JUST OMNIPRESENT
Miwa: BIG LESBIAN ENERGY WITH A KNIFE
Tendou: If I were your government assigned magical girl companion, I'd give you the power to arson
Suna: Hello. My name is Suna Rintarou, and I'm a normal girl, except I'm Satan
Takeda: And the road trip ended with the whole class singing Baby Shark
Daichi: My life is weird and my hats are many
Kenma: So while we were playing Animal Crossing, Lev wrote "penis" on the board and then I tried to behead him with my axe
Yukie: Mutual morosexuality. The beautifulest kind of love
Futakuchi: DOES AONE IS EYEBROWS I'M DYING HERE
Iwaizumi: ARE YOU STUPID OR DO YOU EAT SOUP WITH A FORK!?
Us: Things would be easier if I was in charge. Everyone could be gay
Yachi: I was panicking because I thought I missed the bus. I was inside the bus
Gin: Fuck, Suna, you look like you should sleep for 3 thousand years
Semi: You all should know lyric videos written in Comic Sans are not trustworthy
Yamaguchi: You WILL heal. This is a threat. Where's that Goku post-
Goshiki: My dad (Tendou) told me he casually licks lemons. In no time, I will too
Aran: I just can't compete against Kansai Logic
Akiteru: My brother placed a pair of crocs under my bed and I am scared
Ukai: [sternly] Do you know what this means...? No, I don’t either
Kindaichi: Hello, I’m Kindaichi, I like books, I’m Veget-
Kunimi: -A, PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS
Akaashi: Between all of us, we have 3 braincells, none of them functional
119 notes
·
View notes