#it's my bday in like a week i decided i'd gift to more shitpostig B)

[sunflowersandmirage]

haikyuu characters as texts sent by my irl groupchat

Aone: You can't beat me, I lack eyebrows Tanaka: If I ever rule a country, instead of saluting, we'll dab Nishinoya: Today was a productive day. I stabbed a Pepsi Kita: The merciful despacito gods Kiyoko: horror au: everyone is straight now Osamu: It's okay, we'll revive him with pasta salad Kageyama: If you're an egg, you're a dumbass Lev: Mario's looking really happy, completely destroying capitalism Oikawa: Calm down... he said sexily Bokuto: By day, I'm your dad. By night, I'm your mom, and in the afternoons I'm whatever you want Kuroo: The relationship between my best friend and I can be summarized by the fact that we accuse each other of being furries, and then we aggressively meow at each other Sugawara: Hey, what the hell? Just tell them to go fuck themselves. And calm down Koganegawa: So, to recruit this one guy I need to recruit his childhood friend. and to recruit his childhood friend I need to pLAY SOCCER AGAINST DINOSAURS Hinata: What is that microwave in the hallway for? Tsukishima: The teachers will throw it at you if you misbehave Hinata: Cual es tu motherfucking name, joder? Yamamoto: Everything is losses today. First fortnite kid leaves. And now you do this to me Alisa: The L in LGBT is for Luigi. I am An LL, THE Luigi Lesbian Asahi: Animal Crossing: Survival Mode Matsukawa: Youtube recommended me a Romeo and Cinderella cover sung by Spongebob, and now I'm gonna make it your problem too Hanamaki: The best way to start Pride Month is calling people out for Homestuck Crimes Kinoshita: It was worth the risk. Or the dick, cause I have seen a lot Fukunaga: As far as I know, you can't make a baby breath out fire Atsumu: I'm the seer of... Time? Heart? Seer of I FUCKING KNEW IT. HELL YEAH! Konoha: IGNORE MY GAY NINJA EPIPHANY, WON'T YOU Ushijima: I ended up breaking the floor by beyblade-ing too hard Natsu: And that's all I am now. A communist baby Yaku: Do you know what's the difference between fruit milkshakes and fruit juice? Can't be the milk, some juices have milk too Lev: ... fuit Shirabu: In the game of cardboard, either you win or you die Hoshiumi: He has lost tiny privileges. if he calls anyone else short, I'll have to arrest him Kenma: Bowser is actually a gay icon because in Mario 64, when you throw him Mario says "So long, gay Bowser!", which compliments Luigi being a literal disaster gay. In this essay I will- Nishinoya: You tell them, Hinata! Just because we're short doesn't mean we can't stab them Saeko: TODAY I LEARNED THAT LESBIANISMS CAN SOLVE LITERALLY ANYTHING That one nationals guy and his gf, I forgot their names: WE ARE JUST OMNIPRESENT Miwa: BIG LESBIAN ENERGY WITH A KNIFE Tendou: If I were your government assigned magical girl companion, I'd give you the power to arson Suna: Hello. My name is Suna Rintarou, and I'm a normal girl, except I'm Satan Takeda: And the road trip ended with the whole class singing Baby Shark Daichi: My life is weird and my hats are many Kenma: So while we were playing Animal Crossing, Lev wrote "penis" on the board and then I tried to behead him with my axe Yukie: Mutual morosexuality. The beautifulest kind of love Futakuchi: DOES AONE IS EYEBROWS I'M DYING HERE Iwaizumi: ARE YOU STUPID OR DO YOU EAT SOUP WITH A FORK!? Us: Things would be easier if I was in charge. Everyone could be gay Yachi: I was panicking because I thought I missed the bus. I was inside the bus Gin: Fuck, Suna, you look like you should sleep for 3 thousand years Semi: You all should know lyric videos written in Comic Sans are not trustworthy Yamaguchi: You WILL heal. This is a threat. Where's that Goku post- Goshiki: My dad (Tendou) told me he casually licks lemons. In no time, I will too Aran: I just can't compete against Kansai Logic

Akiteru: My brother placed a pair of crocs under my bed and I am scared

Ukai: [sternly] Do you know what this means...? No, I don’t either

Kindaichi: Hello, I’m Kindaichi, I like books, I’m Veget- Kunimi: -A, PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS

Akaashi: Between all of us, we have 3 braincells, none of them functional