#it's mostly patroclus odysseus and diomedes at this point

[johaerys-writes]

OH MY GOD HOW CAN I CHOSE THERE’S SO MANY OPTIONS AND THEY’RE ALL SO GOOD 😭😭😭

let’s see if i can control myself and just ask for three

so MODERN OMEGAVERSE PLEASE I’M BEGGING

PYRRHA MY BELOVED I NEED HER

PLEASURE SLAVE AU!!!!!!!

i really want to ask about all of them but let’s save some for the people 🫣💕

Aaaahhh okay let's have a look!!!

Modern omegaverse: I've talked about this here before I think, but it's basically modern AU college omegaverse, featuring alpha Patroclus and very messy and jealous omega Achilles. They're friends but their relationship has been a little rocky since going away to college (Patroclus is a little older so he went away first, and he has all those cool and hot friends now and that makes Achilles crrraazyyyy, so crazy in fact that he accidentally goes into heat LMAO) It's very messy and they both make really bad decisions, the writing is also a mess because I started it a couple years ago, changed my mind about a couple plot things, then I got stuck so I actually left it on the backburner but I really want to get back to it!! Here is a little snippet from the beginning:

“Got any plans for the weekend?” “Not much,” Achilles says. Odysseus and Diomedes have asked him to go out with them for drinks, but Achilles is secretly hoping that Patroclus will ask him to do something together. If he does, he’ll ditch Odysseus and Diomedes in a heartbeat. “What about you?” Patroclus flashes him a grin, a little mischievous. “I’m hoping for a date with a really cute guy.” “Oh,” Achilles breathes, but it feels like a gut punch. Fuck, he’s always known this moment would come, and he’s always dreaded it. Patroclus is gorgeous, and Achilles isn’t just saying that because he’s had a crush on him ever since he can remember himself. Patroclus is smart and funny and caring, and so easy to be around. It was only a matter of time before he would find someone else, and ditch Achilles for good.  That doesn’t stop his fists from clenching, simply at the thought of whoever it is that caught Patroclus’ attention.  “Cool,” he says, trying to give him a smile that definitely comes out more tense and tight than he meant. “Awesome. That’s great, Patroclus. Anyone I know?” Patroclus stares at him in confusion for a moment, before he blushes and blurts out, “You! I meant you. Sorry, I was just trying to be funny— I thought— I asked you last week if you’d be free to hang out…?” “Oh! Right, sorry, I forgot.” The surge of relief rushing through Achilles leaves him dizzy. It’s a little embarrassing that he jumped to conclusions so quickly, but honestly, it’s not that hard to do when Patroclus has so many friends and acquaintances now, vying for his attention. “Of course, we’ll hang out together, of course. What do you want to do?”

2. Pyrrha worship: I got an anon ask a while ago with a request for a smutty one shot with disasters patchilles when they're older, and I sat on it for a long while because I couldn't really come up with anything exciting, but then I was listening to Miss June '75 by The Brian Jonestown Massacre the other day and my mind instantly went, Pyrrha??? Ahaha, so basically it's a smutty one shot where Achilles dresses up all fancy in his favourite red dress and his stockings and heels and everything, and after they come back home Patroclus just has to worship the fuck out of his wife <3 I don't have much to share yet but I'm hoping to get to it once I post the next BBB chapter!

3. Pleasure slave AU: boy oh boy do I have a lot to say about this one haha. I've been teasing about this AU for a while now and I'm not at all close to sharing any writing for it, mostly because it's a bunch of notes and plot points and random bits of conversation in the doc BUT essentially the idea behind it is that Patroclus didn't grow up in Phthia with Achilles, but instead was sent to Lyrnessus and grew up with Briseis, so when the Achaeans attack the city, Patroclus is given to Achilles as a pleasure slave instead of Briseis. It's quite horny and very angsty and I swear I will get to it eventually after I finish one of the million works I have in progress right now lol!!!!

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

Okay this is way closer than it should be and I’m seeing some misconceptions in the notes and the original propaganda submitted is kind of underselling it a lot, so I’m going to take this moment to write some propaganda for Achilleus Aristos Achaion. I saw somebody say in a reblog that he’s not a tragic character and the iliad isn’t really a tragedy and I’m not going to @ them but I am going to state my own argument for why that is incorrect and why you should vote for Achilles. Sit down y’all, class is in session.

Point the first: the Iliad is in fact not only a tragedy it is The Tragedy, it is the genre defining tragedy that all Greek and then Roman tragedies and later Middle English tragedies follow in the footsteps of. And Achilles is the prototype of the tragic hero.

Achilles, like most Greek tragic heroes, is a tragic hero because he breaches the borders and limits of their own humanity in some way. Greek tragic heroes usually push into the boundaries between human and god specifically, in the roles they take on and the behaviors they exhibit. They may strive to push beyond their humanity into the realms of the gods but ultimately they never can. They are struck back down, usually by the will of the gods themselves, representing the results of their own hubristic mistakes.

The first word of the iliad means either Wrath or Rage but specifically the wrath that is of the gods themselves. Rage, sing muse of the wrath of achilles. This rage is markedly not human, evidence of achilles’ arc of pushing beyond the bounds of humanity into the realm of the gods. Put a pin in this cause we’re gonna talk about achilles’ connection to humanity momentarily.

What makes a story tragic is that it could have ended differently, but simultaneously it never could have, because the characters were always Always going to make the choices that they made.

Achilles didn’t have to die. It was prophecied before his birth that the son of thetis, a primordial sea goddess, would be greater than his father, so in order to prevent the possibility of another god challenging him, Zeus had her married off against her will to a human. Additionally, the son of thetis was prophecied to either live a glorious life that would be remembered across the ages but would end brutally young, or to live to old age in peace and be forgotten. Achilles, half god half human, neither and both, knows this.

He chooses glory, he chooses to pursue a glorious fate knowing that he will die. He is aristos achaion, the greatest of the Greeks, their most skilled fighter. He chooses to go to Troy knowing that it will result in the long term in his death.

In the iliad, when Achilles’ place as their greatest warrior (the war has been going on for A While at this point) is insulted by Agamemnon he chooses to sit out the forthcoming battles, leading to massive casualties and losses for the Greeks.

The tragedy of the iliad isn’t just about Achilles (and Patroclus) though, it’s also about Hector. Hector, the elder son of Priam, the leader of the Trojan army and the main reason they have held out this long against the Greek siege. Hector, who has my favorite scene in the entire iliad, where his wife begs him not to go out and fight and die and leave their son fatherless.

Some other stuff happens (mostly Odysseus and Diomedes going on a shenanigans field trip), and eventually the losses for the Greeks are so high, and the Greeks are so desperate for Achilles to come back to the field, that Patroclus is moved enough to ask Achilles to go back out. But Achilles refuses, because he has already chosen to die young and crowned with glory but the other leaders of the Greek coalition are denying him even what he has pre-emptively traded his life for, and he can’t just give in now, because he’s a human engaging in those fatal human flaws. And so Patroclus, his closest companion, chooses to go out in his stead, in his armor, just to rally the troops enough to stand against the Trojans. And Achilles in a final act of hubris lets him go.

And Patroclus dies, struck down by Hector, who just wanted to go back home to his wife and child, and saw a man wearing the armor of Achilles and a chance to perhaps turn the war finally in his homeland’s favor.

And then Achilles learned what choosing his glory and reputation over the lives of the Greeks has brought him, and he grieves and grieves Patroclus, who more than anything, represents Achilles’ humanity. Hie earthly attachments, his human side. And with that tie to his own humanity dead, all that is left in Achilles is the Godly Wrath that the story told us at the beginning was coming, and the reason why his name would become known for millenia.

And then Achilles goes on the revenge killing spree to end all revenge killing sprees, striking down so many foes that a local water god has to be like ‘can you stop killing people and dumping their bodies in my river’ and Achilles is like ‘fuck you old man’ and then the water god is like ‘you may be a badass but you’re still half human fucker’ and Achilles would have got his ass kicked by the scamander river god then and there if the olympians who were on the Greek side hadn’t interfered.

And in the end not only does he find and kill Hector in revenge, he desecrates his corpse for multiple days. At last it is only the pleading of Priam, Hector’s father, who just wants to be able to bury his son, that reconnects Achilles with some human feeling, and he agrees to let Hector’s body be buried, and also at last, Patroclus’ as well.

And that is what makes up the tragedy of the Iliad.

Vote Achilles.

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT: [SPOILERS AND POSSIBLE TRIGGERS AHEAD]

JACK HARKNESS:

ACHILLES:

[bisexualwentworth]

So it's very late but I would like to have the webseries world know that my LIW is progressing. I've started some transmedia accounts for a few characters (they're secret for now but you can probably work out who they are if they reblog something from you), and I've been experimenting a lot with storytelling techniques recently.

My beautiful friend @cheerupqueerup also has a secret Tumblr for her OC, and we've been doing tag games with our characters for about three weeks now, which begs the question, why has no LIW character ever reblogged one of those in the past? I would ask them things. I would send them random numbers. Please someone do this.

So at this point our characters have actually started messaging each other and we've just landed in straight-up RPG land, which is delightful and also really useful in terms of character building.

So basically, storytelling is fun, LIW things are fun, I have great friends, and I'm really good at procrastinating work with creative things.

[staghunters]

Thoughts on Stephen Fry’s Troy

Sorta review/critique. A thing to keep in mind is that I‘ve not read a direct translation of the Iliad so this really is my first experience of the epic besides general knowledge of it that is present in pop culture and such.

It’s a long one so I’ll put a break here

First off, there’s a little preface, map, olympian family tree, and timeline of the entirety of ancient history. Very nice to include, though I used these very little in my reading. Nontheless they can be useful for people who are very new to mythology and the layout of the ancient world.

I think I read the epilouge section titled myth and reality after the preface. Not sure why they put it in the back, perhaps for spoilers, but it functions good as a disclaimer before stepping into the main story. There is also a list of actors after this, which are again useful but not something I used a lot personally. 

Now for the main story! I’ll not be going over everything, just the things that stood out for me. Again disclaimer that this is the first time I read a version of the fall of Troy, so my impressions may deviate from ‘canon’ but be sure to correct me/add where you like.

I did not know Helena was a daughter of Zeus or that she had any brothers oof. (Arguably the brothers leave the story very early so I don’t think it’s that bad of me).

I like the idea of a lottery to determine who will marry Helena, but also think that Menelaus is an obvious choice. Given that they have lived together and know each other for a long time, they have a good foundation to build a relationship on.

Agamemnon comes across as an honourable man, but does not shy away from showing his emotions. Iphigeneia in Aulis is a touching section where he stalls the sacrifice of his daughter as long as possible and comes with counterarguments to make it not happen. Fry picks the version where Iphigeneia is spared by Artemis, but does not tell where she is taken which is a bit of a shame.

Odysseus is a smart bastard. I like that.

Paris goes from a kind boy to a selfish man, something that is adressed by characters in the story. I would not go as far as to say that he is Bad, but his morals are very grey.

His siblings and Hebe and Priamos are on the contrary quite reasonable the entirety of the story. They try to make things the best for Helena given the circumstances, and stand up to Paris when needed.

Hector is amazing wow.

I think Kassandra is the most present after him, but I’m not sure if I liked the way Fry chose to depict the whole seeing-the-future-but-nobody-listens because it is done quite literally. At key moments Kassandra is there to cry out her observations but is just not adressed by the others around her. It stands in contrast with Laokoon, who is acknowledged but also ignored. I feel like Fry could’ve brought some more creativity in this case. In general Kassandra feels like the odd one out of the Trojan siblings, not really seeming to be one of them.

Kind of continueing on Kassandra, Helenus is briefly mentioned at times and his foretelling of things is even more minimal. It would’ve been an easy step to make some sort of connection between him and Kassandra, but again I’m not sure if that is in the original text.

Achilles and Patroclus are very well done in my opinion. Achilles has his moments of anger and honour, and Patroclus is not a softboy standing on the sidelines. I always thought Patroclus took Achilles’ armour in secret but here he discusses it with Achilles and he agrees to let him borrow it. When Patroclus dies, there is a section of how fierce the battle for his body is, signaling how all the Greeks cared for him.  

Briseis also seems like an addition to Patroclus and Achilles, if that is the correct phrasing. The dynamics they have can make you interpret them as either Pat and Achilles acting like big brothers of Briseis, or a “X has two hands” kind of thing (where they all hold hands). 

Diomedes and Odysseus act like colleagues mostly, frequently going on missions together to get someone or infiltrate Trojan outposts. I thought it odd that when they steal the Palladion, Odysseus suddenly has the desire to kill Dio as to take the honor for himself. It is brushed of by Odysseus as being an influence of the Palladion, but seems more ambiguous in Fry’s wording. Regardless, seemed out of character regarding the bond the two have.

Helena has regrets later of going with Paris. Fry leaves the options open wether she acted under the influence of Aphrodite or if it was her own decision. Aphrodite does pop up at times to force something upon Helena. While not a sympathetic characterisation of the godess, it does serve as an example that the gods generally do not care much for the wellbeing of those involved in their “games”. This is underlined by Fry in regards to Thetis by saying that the gods generally do not feel much empathy for mortals and that Thetis is very much an exception in the case of Achilles.

Thetis is a bit of an overbearing mom in this, but it does not feel wrong per se.

The other gods come on the stage at some moments in the first half. After that Fry draws a line with Zeus further prohibiting them from interfering with the war.

The Trojan Horse has some detail and is not just ships in the vague shape of a horse a la Troy 2004. It’s got colours, expressions,  a very funky horse.

The siege from within is Brutal. Neoptolemos is definitely not his father and much more aggresive. Fry points out moments where some good was done but emphasizes that the party we have been with and somewhat rooting for the past pages is not free of commiting atrocities. Kassandra predicts her own death and Agamemnon’s to him. Fry did make him say that Klytaimnestra would probably understand/be happy for bringing back Kassandra as a slave. All in all adding to the fact that he does not hate his wife like some other adaptations/people like to suggest, but is instead oblivious or just naive for the fact that the sacrifice of Iphigenia harmed their relationship.

The main story ends with the gods being Disgusted by all of it. I’m assuming Fry will save a bit of the return of the Greeks for a book on the Odyssey which is fine I guess but leaves this one a bit open ended. 

Would recommend this if you’ve never read an Iliad story before and want something that provides you with extended information as well as fun facts about the events. It’s a very accesible read despite some of its flaws.

[theresahorseauforthat]

Space Iliad AU (Voltron/Epic Poetry)

It's the Iliad but it's in space.

'But Disco,' certain friends may say, 'I was under the impression that you'd never watched Voltron.'

That is correct.

However, it started showing up on my dash around the time I read the Odyssey for class, and somehow this au was created.  As such, this will probably contradict Voltron canon wildly.  The show is, if you will, the giant, hollow, mechanical man I'm using to sneak Greeks into your city.

Season 1

Five 'friends' from A Fancy Military School I Have Yet To Name go wandering the desert at night and find a giant lion which whisks them into space.  There, they awaken an alien named Helen, who informs them that the universe is in danger, they must save it, yada yada you know the drill.

The five dudes ARE

Agammemnon, the Black Paladin: the worst.  The utter worst. Menelaus' brother, Achilles self-declared nemesis.  A smug jerk.

Achilles, the Red Paladin: A dumb hotheaded kid.  He's gonna fight Agammemnon.  His heart's in the right place and he has good ideals, but he can generally be trusted to act on them in the least helpful manner.

Diomedes, the Yellow Paladin: A badass.  The first to develop a strong bond with his lion (who is definitely not a mechanical version of Athena, not at all, why on earth would you think that).  Good friends with Menelaus.  Part of the stealth team.

Menelaus, the Green Paladin: not very good with feelings.  Agammemnon's brother, Diomedes' friend.  Huge crush on Helen.  He's very bro-y but he's a good guy.

Odysseus, the Blue Paladin: a low key genius.  Team strategist and the other half of the stealth team.  Can be a bit of an asshole when he's in the middle of a Plan.  Would like to get back to his girlfriend.

And then, of course, Helen: head of the team, wicked smart, weirdly good mimic.  Huge crush on Menelaus.

They're fighting the Galra, except that I accidentally made all the Trojans some level of relatable so it's anyone's guess as to who exactly is threatening the universe.

There's

Paris: the main antagonist-ish.  He's a dumb dramatic teenager trying to impress his big brother.

Hector: the big brother.  Not impressed.  Very Tired.

Cassandra: A prophet of doom who's generally ignored.  A little bit done with everyone, particularly her brothers.

(Aeneas will do something at some point I have no idea where he fits in shush)

The other plot focuses on the Fancy Military School I Have Yet To Name, which in the wake of five students fucking off to the stars claims that they are all dead, cause, yah know, that's a good strategy.  However, they've got two students on their case (more like one student and the friend she's dragging along):

Penelope: A hacker and a fiber crafter.  Brilliant, driven, and extremely suspicious.  She's gonna find out what happened to her boyfriend even if she has to put up with the slimeballs in the computer room.

Clytemnestra: A disaster of a human being, but in a good way, for the most part.  Don't get on her bad side.  Agammemnon's ex.  Not really sure if she wants to find him.

So the Space crew is pretty much just playing out the Iliad.  Helen and Menelaus flirt like crazy, Diomedes gets an alien girlfriend named Briseis, and Achilles gets an alien boyfriend named Patroclus who somehow ends up on the ship with them.  Agammemnon continues to be awful. 

At some point (maybe midway?) Helen gets captured by Paris.  In return, Agammemnon kidnaps Cassandra, which literally no one else thinks is a good idea.  Agammemnon does Something ( I have several ideas for this, depending on how dark I decide to go) that pushes Achilles completely over the edge, and he decides he won't fight in the upcoming battle.

At this point the timeline takes a turn for the incomprehensible, but you all probably know how it goes from here.  Patroclus steps up to bat and fills in as the Red Paladin.  I'm a big softie so he doesn't actually die, but only almost dies (same for Achilles). 

Through some kind of sci-fi magic that I haven't figured out yet, Penelope and Clytemnestra not only figure out where the others went but manage to get there.  Pen and Odysseus get a two minute reunion before he goes off to implement his big plan of making the enemy think they've abandoned Voltron.  At some point Agammemnon is disposed of somehow (again, depending on how dark this gets, there are several versions).  They defeat the Galra/Trojans and go back to the ship, at which point they realize "Oh fuck we lost Odysseus."

Season 2

Paladin shuffling time!  Menelaus is the new Black Paladin, Clytemnestra takes his old role as the Green Paladin, and Penelope fills in as the Blue.  On this end, it's fairly chill, with storylines mostly centered around personal issues.  Clytemnestra and Menelaus deal with the fallout of their relationships with Agammemnon, Cassandra (who's still there for some reason idk) makes some friends and finds people who believe her, Menelaus struggles with leadership, Penelope tries to find her place.

On the not chill end of things

Odysseus is having a fun time.

I've written so much already that I'm not gonna detail his adventures here, but he sure is having them.  And would like not to be.  Eventually he gets home, there's more Paladin musical chairs in which Clytemnestra and Menelaus switch lions, and Penelope stays on as Blue Paladin. 

Season 3, in a timeline where Clytemnestra kills Agammemnon:

An alien kid comes to take revenge on the current Black Paladin for killing the former Black Paladin.  Diomedes and Yellow kick start a legal system.

[johaerys-writes]

I love disasters!AU so so so sooooo much. It added ten more years to my life expectancy. I wish to see your writings forever, if possible.

Anyway, I have a question! How old are Patroclus and Achilles in 2024, roughly? I assumed they'd be in their late 30s or early 40s by now, and wanted to make sure.

And do you have any hcs about them in their 20s, 30s and 40s that you don't mind sharing? Like, are they still together? I goddamn hope they are. What do they do for a living? What are their relationships with their parents and friends? Any hc would be sooo welcome! Have a nice day!

First of all, I love you for sending this ask dear anon 🫶 Any opportunity to talk about my favourite boys adds ten years to my lifespan LOL don't mind if I do

So the age question is kind of tricky because you're a walking disaster and yet- isn't set during a specific time period. Like the Phthia years have a 90s vibe, and the Athens years have a late 90s-early/00s vibe, but I never really had a specific year in mind. It's just vibes mostly lol. But like, assuming we start in the 90s, then I think in 2024 they'd be late 30s, early 40s. And of COURSE they're together, haha. I honestly don't see these two separating at all in that AU, not even as a joke. They're each other’s ride or die and I'm not saying it's exactly healthy (oops 🤣🫣), but I highlyyyy doubt either Achilles or Pat would even consider the possibility of taking a break.

As far as jobs and studies go, Achilles finishes his Architecture major in Athens, then probably does an internship in an architectural firm while Patroclus works part time as an usher in a small theatre and also as a theatre production assistant whenever the opportunity arises, helping making props and procuring materials and generally just running errands for the crew and the director lol. Then they move abroad for Achilles to do a masters degree (in their mid/late 20s?), I was thinking probably Italy, and Patroclus of course follows him. After a bunch of coaxing and convincing, Patroclus accepts Peleus' offer to pay for his studies as well, so the two of them spend a couple really lovely years just studying and travelling Italy and seeing all the sights and eating ALL the food and gelatto etc, and generally having the best of times. And then eventually they come back to Athens where Achilles opens up his own architectural firm (with daddy's help ofc), and Patroclus does his PhD in dramaturgy and starts teaching shortly after (hot professor Pat PLS 😩🤲)

As for the relationship with their parents and friends: they both have a really good relationship with Peleus, better than they did when they were younger. Turns out now that they're older Peleus is great for taking them to expensive restaurants and teaching them about wine and stuff, or taking them on boatrides (with his divorce mini yacht LMAO). Thetis is also in Athens and Achilles does see her often, most times on his own, sometimes with Patroclus. Pat and Thetis are not besties by any means but they get along for the most part. But I still don't think Pat ever truly warms up to her tbh, and Achilles doesn’t push it.

They still often go to Phthia for the holidays so they see Ajax & co, Menelaus and Agamemnon both stayed in Phthia as well so they see them too. Odysseus returns from time to time but they lose contact with him after several years. Dio and Briseis do actually get back together after college for a couple of years, but it just doesn't work out unfortunately, much to Diomedes' disappointment 😅

So yes Achilles and Pat are definitely together by the time they're 40, definitely living together, definitely have amassed an army of dogs at this point haha. Like shortly after the main fic ends they get another dog, and by the time Laika sadly passes away, they already have at least a couple more. And it just snow balls from there. Eventually they move into a bigger place with a yard somewhere in the northern suburbs of Athens, and they just have their cosy little life with their dogs and their vast collection of books, and it's just really really nice for them :')