#it's more canon and realistic that he just never realized due to his cognitive functioning being consumed

[misterxsamsa]

I've always been fascinated by this comment in passing, about how Johnny can actually feel the emotions of the wall. It's unsurprising, considering that it's been consuming him through their shared mental connection for months, but I've always wished that we had more insight into his relationship with it, emotionally.

When you really think about it, having to knowingly serve an incomprehensible powerful being residing in your mind is terrifying. Despite his natural detachment to the situation, I'm sure it traumatized Johnny. However, Johnny's also been shown to primarily form emotional attatchment to non-human creatures. That's likely due to his disgust towards humanity, and inability to maintain relationships with others painlessly.

People can abandon you, or challenge your behaviors, but not insects or the voices fabricated inside your own head. I'd like to imagine that after a certain point, Johnny developed a trauma bond with the wall thing. It's consuming his mind, memories, and creativity, but directly because of that it's technically the creature that knows him best. After enough consumption, Johnny no longer remembers anything before it's arrival. So, you can argue by then it knows Johnny, and his history, better than he does. It's this familiarity with Johnny's psyche that allows the wall thing to take advantage of Johnny's insecurities using the Doughboys.

It's able to give him everything he could possibly desire: the invincibility needed to indulge his murderous tendencies, purpose, even companionship. It's the ultimate monkey's paw. Still, given the twisted way Johnny views relationships, he might've found an unaknowledged degree of comfort in their transactional relationship. All that's required of Johnny is that he continues to feed the wall blood. It's a largely unobtrusive task involving murder, something he would've frequently been doing anyways. However, as long as he's compliant, he's guarenteed the wall thing, and the Doughboys will never leave him.

[For a lot of the comic, Johnny's unaware that the wall's responsible for his invincibility, but this headcanon operates under the assumption he puts two-and-two together eventually, and significantly before his suicide. Nailbunny is him, so if he's aware of the Doughboy's true nature, it's possible Johnny did as well and simply repressed it for various reasons...]

Seemingly, the wall creature communicates vaguely through telepathically directed thoughts and emotions. That would naturally put a level of distance between it and Johnny, allowing him to enjoy it's closeness through a perceived veil of safety. Besides, you can argue Johnny and his infestation have something very notable in common. They're both oppurtunistic predators. I'd imagine even in spite of Johnny's growing resentment, that would provide a level of begruding understanding with it. He's no better than the wall, and the wall is certainly no better than him. It's his only true psychological equal, and he can't even be on even ground with it.