#it's longer than i expected but that's what happens when you procrastinate arrow

[this-corner-is-my-safe-space]

"oh no. i think i'm catching feelings"

(this is what i do instead of my very important assignments.

Suggestive near the end, but not descriptive

title from 'sex' by eden)

Freelancer can practically see the steam rushing out of Gavin's ears.

His face is red and his eyes were glaring holes into them. If they didn't know any better, they'd say he was mad at them.

But they saw the way Gavin's lips fought a smile. The corners of them tugging up without his approval, entirely giving away his facade.

They've grown awfully fond of him, and it almost scared them. Almost. No one could really be scared of such beauty, in their humble (and very correct) opinion. And if that didn't convince them, Freelancer would take any and every opportunity explaining how wise, endearing and kind the man in front of them was.

"Are you even listening to me?"

That snapped Freelancer right out of the clouds. They paused for a second, before coming clean.

"Nope. Sorry, handsome."

If Freelancer said Gavin's face managed to get even more red, he would deny it.

"You-" he starts, putting his face in his hands, breathing in and out to calm himself, "I am going to kill you."

If Gavin meant that, he didn't show it. Perhaps one could argue the blushing, smiling and wide eyes filled with adoration were all a ruse to hide his murderous intent. If that was the case, Freelancer had definitely fallen for (him) it.

Unfortunately for Gavin, Freelancer had one last card up their sleeve.

"And what are you going to do, Gavin? Fuck me to death?"

What were they here for again? Magic history tutoring? A movie date? Finishing the leftover pizza and wings they ordered the last time Gavin was over?

It didn't matter anymore, because Gavin was forcing them out of their seat, grabbing their face and kissing them breathless. All while maneuvering the both of them into their bedroom.

When Freelancer took a breath, they were on top of Gavin, legs on either side of his waist, one hand pinning one of his arms down while the other was resting on his chest. They stared at him as they felt his chest falling and rising, his heart beating beneath their touch.

They remembered what that meant, when a demon took the time to form a heart beat with magic. Slowly, they leaned down to kiss his chest, right where a real heart would be if he was human.

They looked up at him, and in their brief eye contact, Freelancer thanked him. For his help with DAMN stuff, for trusting them enough to be this vulnerable with his emotions.

For being in their life.

If Freelancer was asked if they started to cry in that moment, hiding it from Gavin by meeting his lips with their own again, they'd say it was drool.

[min-hoax]

cupid’s poisonous arrow - jjk

Summary: It was his responsibility to bring people together, but when Cupid - Jimin gets into an altercation with another God, unknown to him, the arrow meant for his mission no longer makes him fall head over heels, but makes a certain tattooed man obsessed with… you

Pairing: Yandere! Jungkook x F! Reader

Word Count: 2.21K

Warning(s): Obsession, mentions of various insecurities, mentions of a gun, threats, blood, kidnapping.

A/N: One day late, but better late than ever I guess? Happy Valentines from a lonely heart :)

With furrowed brows, you flipped your notebook, hoping to read a name next or behind the unexpected note. Though it was a surprise, you smiled lightly, thinking about the unknown person and who it could be, but no one came to mind. 

Introverted was your middle name, outside and inside campus, there was only a best friend you relied on, too shy and anxious to speak to others in fear of rejection and ridicule.

Procrastinating seemed to be your middle name as well. “Focus, you idiot.” You whispered, pushing your chair in to be closer to the table. As you began to type, a girl approached you with a drink in her hand with a timid, but yet, a mischievous look in her smile. “I know this is fucking weird, but a guy told me to give you this.”

 Confused, you mumbled a thank you as she placed the cup of Chai tea on the table, a note taped on the lid. “Who was it?” You questioned, scanning the library once more. 

With narrowed eyes, she turned and hummed, her eyes settling next to the coffee shop. “Not there anymore���as expected.” She pouted. “He was hot though.” 

It was truly a wonder to Cupid why Jungkook had not made his move. Jimin completed his mission - an arrow was shot through the heart of the pierced and tattooed man, so why has it taken him so long?

Making your wish come true was all he ever wanted. Before sending that arrow of love, it was impossible not seeing the glances you’d sent to Jeon Jungkook - the boy you knew nothing about, but carried such a deep and sweet infatuation for.

When you were embarrassingly staring, his eyes would unfortunately connect with yours, making your cheeks burn with shame and your eyes to widen in horror, acting as if it never happened, focusing on the homework before you, and drowning out the occasional sounds the cafe would bring.

It was such a pity looking at you, dressed to perfection in a college campus the first few weeks, hoping desperately for Jungkook to see.

But he never did, and you simply surrendered, going back to the simple you.

But if only you knew how others viewed you: stunning when you allowed your face to breathe, face full of hormones that you viewed as imperfections, but truly added more to your beauty.

He wished he could make you fall in love with yourself instead.

Jeon Jungkook was a coward. What were notes going to do for the relationship he was so desperately looking forward to?

Absolutely nothing.

If anything, he understood it made you happy, but yet, it saddened you because your admirer did not come forward.

As the days continued, the constant notes were not forgotten. Random people would approach you, shrugging when you questioned who had given them the cute notes with snacks taped to them.

The notes would voice their sadness because of your absence the days you were free from classes, working at the hardware store from early morning till noon.

You had a pacific, college admirer/stalker - truly a relief.

Though you never replied back, they insisted that you could, almost begging desperately for even an inconsequential letter, because according to them, you at least knew and acknowledged that they existed.

Humming “About A Girl”, interruption came forward, calling out your name. “Coming boss.” You called, taking a hold of the box before you, filled to the brim with packaged box cutters.

“Yes, sir?” You smiled at the old and kind man who stood behind the register.

“It’s your birthday or something?” He asked with a raised brow before looking at the bouquet of red roses next to him.

“Oh, those aren’t mine Billie.”

“They’re yours for sure.” Quickly, he snapped the note from the bouquet. You walked forward reading the message.

For once you didn’t smile.

They knew where you worked. Though it didn’t bother you before, there was a feeling in your gut that told you that this wasn’t right. Boundaries existed for a reason.

You’re overreacting.

Maybe you were. Maybe it was the insecurities that thought that this was all too good to be true - that you didn’t have an admirer who pined after you, someone that wanted you.

The message late at night was unexpected, buzzing just when you found the comfortable spot you desired and shut your eyes to sleep.

xxx-xxx-xxx: Did you like your flowers?

You bit your lip, sitting up in bed, contemplating on whether to answer or not. After a few minutes, you did.

You: Who’s this?

xxx-xxx-xxx: I thought I said it before, silly. I’m yours :)

You: What’s your name? How did you get my number?

xxx-xxx-xxx: I overheard you giving it to your project partner today.

Attachment: 1 Image

You gulped as your blood ran cold.

There on the screen, Namjoon slept soundly with a gun barrel to his head, a gloved hand peeking just under the corner of your cracked screen.

xxx-xxx-xxx: I don’t like sharing, so please baby, don’t make me the bad guy.

-

With a grunt he was slammed against the wall with a force that took his breath away. Although he was in pain, a smirk grew as he focused on his clearly seething brother, clutching his neck tightly.

“What have you done?” He breathed, pale cheeks burning red, and eyes wide.

“Well, well, well, -“ Anteros teased, “- if it isn’t Cupid himself. Brother, welcome home.”

“Shut up, Taehyung, tell me what the fuck did you do to Jungkook!” Jimin demanded. “I know it was you. You were so hell bent on revenge - poking your nose where it didn’t belong.”

Taehyung pushed against his brother's hold, but was slammed back again with much more force. “It wasn’t my business? That Jungkook boy of yours deserved to be punished. Do you know how badly that poor child has been hurting for him? It is my job to bring justice -“

“You had no right to get in the way of my mission!” Jimin cried. “You might me Anteros, the punisher of those who refuse to love, but not like this. Do you have any idea what Jungkook did? He’s seething with jealousy! He’s a full blown stalker! Breaking in and pointing guns at innocent people!”

Taehyung gulped. “Really?” He whispered, patting at his neck once Jimin let go, taking a seat on his brother’s couch. “I meant no harm brother. It was just a simple spell that I used the day we fought.”

Taehyung truly did not mean no harm, frowning in guilt when he looked over at the station full of potions. He might’ve used the DANGER DO NOT USE THROW AWAY! now that he thought about it.

“I was making things right.” Jimin continued. “She was not going to suffer for much longer, but of course, you just had to butt in and put your ugly face where it wasn’t called.”

Taehyung gasped, offended. “You know what brother? I think you’re just mad because you didn’t get your way and a damn, fucking, cry baby that Penelope didn’t want!”

At that Jimin shrieked, taking a hold of Taehyung’s hair, fisting it and yanking the poor man against the stained glass.

“You ugly baby!” Taehyung cried as his scalp stung, standing from the ground, angrily attacking his brother.

Both man, scratched and clawed each other, yelling profanities that they both didn’t mean, but still said in the heat of the moment.

Taehyung should’ve never brought Psyche up.

Jimin cried, now straddled on his brother’s waist, striking Anteros’ head with his shoe.

“Stop!” Taehyung implored as Jimin did not back down, eyes red from his tears, but still so angry. “Look I promise I’ll help you get Penelope back! I’ll help you with the Jungkook situation, I promise! just stop hitting me with your stupid shoe!”

“Do you promise?” Jimin sniffled, pouting, his hands raised ready to strike again.

“Yes!” Now get off of me!”

Jimin smiled, offering his hand.

Once Anteros helped Cupid clean his room, a hug was given, the two brothers getting to work to end the nightmare once and for all.

-

“Hey, are you with me.” Blinking, you jumped, faking a smile.

Namjoon sat before you, a hand on your shoulder with a concerned look on his face. “Are you okay?”

No, you were not okay.

The message had scared you to your very core, making you grow paranoid, watching your back every second of every day to the point where sleep was unknown to you.

You couldn’t even be friends with sweet Namjoon, afraid for his life. How could you explain it to him when you didn’t even understand what was happening completely?

JJK came into your life in what seemed to be so extremely fast. It was just a couple of days ago where he revealed his gender and gave you his initials, warning you to not try anything with your project partner or consequences would soon follow.

The notes were still a daily thing in your life, growing more and more serious with pictures of you walking home, working, and hanging out with your best friend.

JJK became your little secret in fear that something would happen to the people around you.

“Yeah.” You chuckled. “I just - I didn’t get a good night's sleep. That’s all. Should we continue?”

Namjoon nodded, smiling. “I would love to, but I have to go to the restroom. I’ll be back.”

You nodded as he stood, writing down the highlighted notes on your notebook whilst taking a hold of Namjoon’s, smiling at his messy handwriting.

xxx-xxx-xxx:

Attachment: 1 Image

xxx-xxx-xxx: Why’d you let him touch you?

You cried, immediately running towards the bathroom, slamming the mens door open with all your might to see what JJK sent seconds before: an almost disfigured and bloody Namjoon, choking on his own blood from the clear beating he’d gotten.

“Please!” You yelled, “Somebody help!”

-

With a shaking body, you dialed the number, pressing it against your ear. It rang once before JJK answered.

“Why are you doing this, you crazy bitch?” You snapped.

“Oh.” They gasped. “I love your voice - so precious, so beautiful.” 

“Please, stop, just stop. This isn’t right.” 

He sighed. “ I couldn’t help myself. He was just there, making a move on you as if you didn’t have someone else. I was offended, you understand that right?”

You remained silent, amazed at his way of thinking. 

“I know you went to the police and I understand, but don’t do it again. You won’t like what I’ll do.”

-

“Stop it.” Jimin grumbled, shoving Taehyung away when his brother got too close to his liking. 

“Do you see him? Do you see him, Jimin?” Taehyung said, peeking over through the window that led to Jungkook’s apartment. JImin hummed, binoculars on his eyes, studying the room. 

“I see him.” 

Taehyung snatched the binoculars from his brother's hands, gasping when he set eyes on Jungkook, smiling whilst he hugged a woman, her back facing his chest. He kissed her cheek, nuzzling her neck as he gently pushed her against his bed. “What a man whore! He’s terrorizing a poor, innocent soul while fooling around with other women?!” 

“What are you talking about? Let me see!” 

And just like Taehyung had said, Jungkook was there in bed with another girl that wasn’t you. It didn't make sense.

“I’m going in -”

The alarm was sudden, making you groan in annoyance. As your eyes opened, they focused on the book sprawled beside you, GREEK MYTHOLOGY GODS, opened wide in Cupid’s chapter.

Jungkook. 

At the thought of him, you sat up, smiling so bright that your cheeks burned. “Sweetheart?” You called, walking towards the tattooed man, huddled in the corner of your bedroom, shackled at the ankles by heavy chains. “Oh, baby.” You cooed, sitting before him to tuck his unruly and long hair behind his ear. 

“I had a beautiful dream.” You revealed, “I dreamt of Cupid, and how he brought us together. I didn’t really like the ending though. You were cheating on me, hugging another girl, kissing her like you loved her.” The happiness you showed previously was long gone, followed with a frown and wide eyes that made Jungkook shiver in fear. 

He whimpered when you fisted his hair in your grasp, “You would never do that to me, right bunny? I didn’t go through all of that - the notes, the roses, the days I would get ready for you just for you to look at me, right?”

Jungkook sniffled, wiping away his tears with his tied hands before they fell and you freaked. “No.” He said, “I would never do that to you.”

You hugged him to your chest tightly, tracing his chest, the skin healing and etched with your name.

[marveloussupernerd]

Hey! I was wondering if you would match me with a character from Mystic Messenger and Marvel? I have no gender preference so go hog wild. My form is pinned to my blog so I hope it wont be too inconvenient for you. I just find that humans have a tendency to be more complicated than 500 characters so it is difficult to accurately represent myself within those limitations. Thank you in advance, dear!

No problem!! Sorry this took a while but I hope you like it!!!!

Mysme

I ship you with 707!

I just finally reached the clarity that his real name is a spoiler for ppl that like they get upset if they find out so uh, I’m correcting that now lmaoo

Well you’re about as tall as him

Until you wear your boots

Then you’re taller

I know sometimes that bruises men’s egos but it literally does not affect him at all

Except when you’re walking too fast he whines that you need to slow down because your legs are longer than his

The first time he saw your resting face it kinda freaked him out

What did he do wrong? The two of you were just watching tv. Did you not like the way he had his arm around you?

Now that he knows that’s just how you look he doesn’t worry about it

He teases Yoosung by using it to his advantage

“Yoosung I think you pissed her off. Oh my goodness! Didn’t you know!? She can’t stand the color purple. Gives her bad memories. You’ve probably scarred her for life”

And then Yoosung is apologizing to you and you have no idea why

It’s Seven’s way of messing with both of you

The first time he tried to make his move by putting his arm around you and you flinched, he almost cried

No literally

He just... he hadn’t realized it was a thing to dislike it like that

Respects it so much

But he wants hugs so bad :( someone needs to hug this poor boy

So when you eventually invite him over and cuddle up to him during a very late movie night?

His heart jumps in his chest

He tries to tell you that you don’t have to!! He understands how it makes you feel weird and it’s okay; he likes you so so much and respects you a lot

But secretly he looks forward to whenever you want to cuddle with him; the rarity of it makes it even more special

707 is the king of witty comebacks

The first time the RFA sees the two of you bantering with each other they think you’re fighting? Because you’re both so passionate about being better and wittier than the other

You laugh about their confused faces later that night

He’s an over the top flirt too

Tries to woo you with ridiculous romantic gestures

He’s literally a theater kid too you cannot convince me otherwise I was a theater kid as well so I know

Literally every romantic gesture in a romcom? He does it

Of course he expects a reaction out of you but. You. Never. Budge.

Not even after he stole the microphone during the latest RFA party to confess to you that he was carrying your child

Which made NO SENSE

He’s not allowed microphones anymore. Or stages.

When you tell him you’re asexual he’s so respectful (as always)

You literally don’t have to do anything like that if you don’t want to

He’s more than happy with your cute lil domesticated life together

Okay this is off topic but I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY AERIAL SILKS

When he first sees your bruises he FLIPS

did someone hurt you? Who? He’ll hack into their computer, give them hell

The first time he sees you perform... wow

YOU’RE SO COOL AND GRACEFUL AND ELEGANT

he wants to try it and literally begs on hands and knees for you to teach him

He’s bad at it. Learns he’s afraid of heights too

But he tries to watch you perform as often as possible

Noticed you don’t give out compliments often

So it’s his job to come up with a creative new compliment to give you every single day

It ranges anywhere from “I like your shirt” to “you’re so beautiful” to “I admire that you’re able to parallel park my babies.”

Please help him with procrastination

You literally will not hang out with him if he has work to do

He pouts and whines, but ultimately gets his work done

You’ve really helped out his work and his work schedule

He literally hates parties and clubs and bars

Much prefers taking you out at night to look at the stars

If you’ll let him, he’ll drive you to a secluded place in the mountains so that you can see them better

After reassuring you 800 times that he isn’t gonna murder you (you weren’t worried, but he was afraid you thought he would)

He likes to watch murder mystery movies with you

It’s really just a contest to find out who guesses it right first

But after he kept losing he changed it to how ridiculous of a motive he could describe and how close to correct it may be

“She said she has a twin right? Well her eye color is different from her photos. How do we know they didn’t grab the twin on accident? Or the twin isn’t pretending to be her or something”

HOW could he have guessed that

Sigh this is rlly inspired by me bc I did this exact thing and guessed the plot twist

Overall, he’s just really respectful of you. Drinks respect women juice 24/7. Loves complimenting you and spending time with you and never letting you forget how amazing you are.

Marvel

I ship you with Loki!

The Seven one was kinda easy

Prob because there aren’t that many mystic messenger characters

But BOY I struggled here

Until I thought of Loki, I hadn’t even considered him at first (my sister brought him up, as she helps me come up with who to match ppl with)

And YES

He was first drawn to you by how elegantly you carried yourself

Most Midgardians just kind of, slouched through the day

But you stood with impeccable posture, resting most of the weight on your toes. He thought you were some form of royalty at first

And then he saw you perform hoo boy

Okay first of all he definitely had no idea what was happening for a majority of the show

But he kinda liked you and so when you invited him to go he was THERE

Couldn’t stop complimenting you. He thought you were elegant before oh wow

He’s literally not intimidated by you at all, think of all the people he’s had to meet and BS he’s had to deal with

You’re touch-adverse? That’s fine by him

Honestly he doesn’t like cuddling or anything like that himself. Blame it on his childhood or something idc

He will throw insults right back at you. In fact, he usually doesn’t hold back

Okay they’re never inherently mean but I don’t know they may be kinda questionable

He wouldn’t insult you if he knew you couldn’t handle it

He is NOT very flirty

And by that I mean he will not flirt. Like he just cannot

He still gets lowkey pouty when you flirt with other people, but he can’t blame you. It’s not like he does a good job showering you with that sort of attention and compliments himself

But he does give you attention in other ways

He likes to sit with you, watching as you bake or write or something. He finds it very relaxing

In those moments, that’s when he lets the compliments run wild, talking about how you’re so talented and he likes how you look when you’re concentrated

These moments are the softest he gets. He doesn’t like showing this vulnerable side around anyone else

HAHA can you PLEASE go knife throwing together

You’re both very competitive about it

You know that scene from brave where she shoots her arrow THROUGH another arrow!?

That’s all I can picture but with knives

Homeboy is doing 0 archery with you 0 horseback riding he doesn’t trust those disgusting creatures and archery makes him think of dealing with Clint

He makes fun of you when you see a moth

Like does not let it go

“I thought you weren’t afraid of anything. You’re afraid of this little creature? It doesn’t even know up from down,” he chuckles, pointing at the moth flying around and hitting walls recklessly

Needless to say though he takes care of it for you

He throws an Asgardian party just so he can show you off

Thor’s girlfriend was very unimpressive but you!? You’re so charming to everyone

He really just wants to brag about it to his brother, and you know this full well and let him do so

Y’all like to read together before bed

By reading together I mean sitting on the same couch reading your own books

When you yelp when you’re surprised???

What happened to your poker face?

As much as he wants to find different opportunities to jump out at you and make you squeal, he refrains himself from doing so

It makes the moments when you do freak out much more entertaining

I’d say you’ve very on par with Loki; you have a lot of things in common and a similar approach to life in general

[cherrycherrystudying]

2017: A year in review

I've been thinking a lot on how-to write this.

To be honest, I would find it difficult to summarise this year. It feels like this year was so intense, and at the same time, like nothing at all. I remember last year's new year as if it was last week.

Time is a very odd concept, is it not?

January: the beginning of the red shirt revolution, a new year's sleepover with family and chaos and movies and jelly. The beginning of of my beloved art exam pieces, based on The Infernal Devices - I hated the work while I was doing them, of course. I should have probably focused on my gcse's and studying, but we are not here to regret.

February: the month I casually dragged my mother into the world that is Arrow.

When it really felt like I should have started studying properly. I was taking all the study sessions I could during the holidays, and I was taking a break from my extra curricular because it was causing me to stress.

March: by now I'm spending every week in ICT and geography, trying to catch up on work that I so blatantly ignored. It was always easy to just mess around in those lessons, to do whatever I wanted. This is also the month I was born in, and I especially love my birthday. I love getting presents and I love having get togethers and feeling like I'm the special one for once. I, for the first time, had can mercy which excited be beyond anything, of course. And my party was Spanish themedand all yellows and reds in colour. We had a sleepover that week too, we finally hit the gym and stuff. Art was already beginning to catch up with me, my pace has always been very slow and it's not a good way to work.

I also began at the end of the month to study with my cousin.

We never really got much done together.

April: This was the month I finally decided that I wanted to get my shit together. I organised my Bullet Journal, I went out for fresh air a lot, and I had more study classes outside of lesson. This was also the month I allowed myself to indulge in music, into the world that is BTS, courtesy of my friend. She knew exactly what she had done. I spent my time learning about them instead of learning about the things I really needed to learn, which was not a good decision on my part. However, when there in beauty just waiting to be discovered, it interests me much more than boring studying.

April is also the last month in which I am able to go out and do all sorts of things like going to parks and restaurants and birthday parties with my family. After this month I become housebound in an attempt to study harder.

Towards the end of this month, I am pulling more and more late nights, trying to complete all my exam work for my art course. I was slowly being driven mad by all of this.

May: I was starting to feel violent and restless. My gcse's were quickly approaching and everyone could not understand how I didn't seem to care about them at all. I was spending ,such more time in my I want shit to be over with jumper than I was in regular clothes. My obsession with BTS was getting bigger and exams were getting closer, and couldn't help but turn away from studying and more to procrastination.

When my exams finally started, it didn't really feel like I was existing anymore. I didn't want to do anything, I just turned up to my classes and my exams, waiting for them to finally be over.

As the ending came around, finally, it was the holidays, but these feelings of emptiness were only getting bigger.

June: the second half of the rest of my exams. We were also in the process of mentally preparing for departure from secondary school, only to have to turn up the next day for our last few exams. I didn't want secondary school to finish. That really threw me off. Once my exams were over, I had nothing to occupy my time the way school did. It was very odd, and I spent a lot of time binging and wasting away in my bedroom. I even was going o go so far as to pretend that I forgot about prom, only to go anyway and turn up fashionably an hour and a half late. I want to say it was an experience that I could not have missed, but unfortunately, I was bored to death.

July: I'm spending more time with my family, and I went back to my extra curricular. There's a wedding that we are spending time preparing for, which takes up time and brings more people together. I enjoyed July. I felt like I was really here. I also finally picked up my hobby of drawing, but only few doodles here and there.

August: Again, because all my family are also out for the summer, I spent more time with them. We took a trip to Scotland, and I loved it. It was like escaping everything, which is what I so desperately wanted. Lots of things happen, I have relatives that visit, we search for wedding venues, I eat tasty food. But results day is getting closer, and it speeds up times. Everyone gets restless, and there is one who worries so much that they called the night before to see if I was on the list of excelling students. I made a playlist for the day, a mash up of me feeling sad and me feeling happy. I was not particularly ready for how I would feel.

I get my results.

They are what I expect.

I still feel awful when I get home.

My mother makes us go to Wales. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to do anything. We still went. I spent time on the beach, with music and a pot in the rocks

It doesnt feel like people shpuld be proud of me, but they all congratulate me anyway.

I enroll for college with ease.

September: It is the beginning of change, as I had spent 5 years in secondary school, only for it to end and for me to go to college. I don't actually know what I expected, but it was better than what I thought It would be.

It feels good to be around right now. I make small documents of things I do, I enjoy doing it. I kept on top of my work, I told myself I was going to be the perfect student. I wanted to do well this time.

October: I'm still having fun dressing up for college. You can see by the collection of photos of my outfits in my gallery. The wedding datrs aree getting close and closer, and we finally have outfits. I'm trying to keep up with all the work I'm given, but I've never tried to keep up with my work. I spent more time planning a dance.

I also got an exchange partner.

November: Finally, the month of the wedding. It's hectic, and filled with lots of planning and executing the plans and parties and bridal showers and sleepovers and late nights and travelling, all for it to amount to a total if three days which were over in the blink of an eye. I went all the way to London twice, and I had award ceremonies for my results at GCSE.

December: and now here, the last month of the year, where I tell myself I will put all my effort in, only to Los E the whole month to my chronic procrastination. I now have an abundance of jumpers due to constant shopping, and Christmas was an entertaining dinner to say the least. My body I tired, and I'm glad this was over so quickly, but at the same time I wish it had all lasted longer.

Everything seemed to have gone by so quickly, and yet I had weeks where I would do ABSOLUTELY nothing. It was very confusing and sad to say the least.

So yes. That was 2017, a very detailed summary.

I hope 2018 is much brighter for me and my future.

💛 - Nemothechocolatebrownie

[exo-trashbean]

Suho - Inked up (Tattoo artist au)

So, this was a little late, my bad. I was procrastinating all week and this turned out to be longer than expected. Enjoy!

Genre: Scenario, tattoo artist au Word count: 3300

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Maybe it was the pain that you liked, or the way they looked on your skin, but you smiled as you stood in front of the mirror, admiring the small areas of ink that were just visible underneath your clothes. Tattoos were your personal form of self-expression, and you couldn’t wait for the new addition that would come this afternoon. You only had a couple, and you wanted to change that; the new one would be the branches of a cherry blossom tree starting at your waist and reaching all the way up to your left shoulder. You had talked to your artist over the phone, resulting in confidence that he would do a good job. He seemed nice, and he knew what he was doing. With years of experience under his belt, you were both excited to see what he could do, and to see his own tattoos.

Stepping into the parlor, you were greeted with the smell of cleaning products and sterile air. The fluorescent light fixtures above buzzed above you, as well as the tattoo guns currently in use on other customers.

“Hi, I’m y/n, and I talked to one of your artists over the phone for a tattoo,” you said to the lady at the front counter. She had her hair pulled back into a tight ponytail, and you could see numerous tattoos poking out of her work tee, including a whole sleeve on her right arm.

She smiled, flipping through a notebook until she found your name. “Ah, you’re right here! Could I have the name of the artist?”

“Kim Junmyeon.”

She looked up at you, doing a quick scan of your body before standing up. “Come with me, he’s in the back.” She stepped out from behind the counter and began walking, signaling for you to follow.

The back was about the same as the main area of the parlor; bright lights, several chairs set up and several examples of tattoos hung up for the customers to look at.  There was a desk stuffed in the corner with numerous folders and binders stacked on it, and a man sat behind it, going through one of the drawers.

“Junmyeon?” The lady said, and he looked up. “This is y/n, the one scheduled for today.” She waited until he stood up, then wandered back to the front. Junmyeon pushed the drawer in and made his way over to you. You were taken aback by how strikingly handsome he was; his light brown hair was neatly parted, bringing out the features on his face that made it look like he was a chiseled statue. He wasn’t tall, but he made up for it in muscle. You could tell he worked out on a daily basis because of his strapping shoulders and slim physique. He was dressed in regular attire, and a denim apron was tied around his waist and neck.

“Hello, y/n, I’m the awkward guy on the other line,” he started, grinning as he stuck out his hand to shake. You took it, glancing down at his arm as you shook it. The sleeves of his black shirt were rolled up, revealing well, two more sleeves. You didn’t have enough time to look at his tattoos without staring for too long, so you looked back up to meet his eyes.

“Shall we?” He patted one of the cushioned benches, and took a stool next to it. You sat down, swinging your legs over it.

“So, I know we discussed a cherry blossom tree, correct?” He rolled over to a box of gloves and took two out, stuffing them into the pockets of his apron until he needed them.

You nodded. “Could you figure out a stencil that’s big enough?”

He smiled, his brown eyes twinkling, and plucked a large sheet off of the desk. “Child’s play, honey. I’ve done trees before.” He brought the sheet over to you, setting it on your lap. “I figured this part would start at your waist, and would wrap up to your shoulder, like you wanted,” He looked up at you for confirmation.

You picked up the stencil, hovering your hands over the design. “That’s perfect!” You admired the knotted texture of the tree and the delicacy of the flower petals before handing it back to him. “This obviously isn’t a one day tattoo, right?” You knew that after a couple hours both Junmyeon’s hand and your back would be tired.

“Yes, I’ll have you come back soon if I like you,” he laughed, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he tried breaking the ice. After all, the two of you would get to know each other well over the next couple days.

You chuckled, twiddling your thumbs in your lap. “Well, let’s make that happen then,” you started unbuttoning the front of your shirt and flipped it around, so the back part was on your chest and your back exposed. Junmyeon didn’t blink an eye as he set up the tattoo gun and gestured for you to get comfortable. You laid face-down on the bench and crossed your arms beneath your chin, so your head was tilted in his direction. From this angle, you could see his hands preparing the stencil, including the tattoos on his skin. They were mostly designs spiraling around the width of his arms, with the occasional flower here and there. One that caught your eye was outside of the base of his wrist, in the shape of a raindrop with an arrow and a few lines inscribed in it.

“That’s not a gang symbol, by the way,” he said as he flicked a switch that turned on the lamp next to the bench. You glanced up to find him gazing warmly down at you. You bounced your leg to keep from squirming.

“What is it?” You asked, in an attempt to break the lull in conversation.

He turned his wrist over, running a thumb over it and thinking back to when he got it. “I had a bunch of friends, and we all had different symbols for each other. We decided one day to get them tattooed.” He smirked, shaking his head. “Poor Yixing, he had to get a unicorn.”

The corners of your mouth tugged upwards. “A unicorn?”

He nodded. “He didn’t seem to mind it though; it’s on his pectoral, just below his collarbone.”

“Whatever works, I guess,” you said, shrugging as Junmyeon picked up the stencil. You stopped moving your leg and held still as he held it over your back. He quickly set it on the stool again before hovering over you, thinking of how to place it. A warm hand below your shoulder blade startled you, the fingertips gently tracing imaginary lines on your skin.

“You forgot something,” he added, the tone in his voice slightly amused as he hooked his index finger under your bra, which was still latched.

You faltered, sudden realization hitting you. “Oh! Sorry,” you tried reaching it with your hands, but it had ridden up too high. You struggled for a moment before he stopped you.

“I got it,” he said, and quickly unlatched it.

“Thanks,” you felt your cheeks turn pink for a second out of embarrassment.

He laughed. “Just consider it getting to know you,” he gave you a gentle pat on the shoulder and dug the gloves out of his pocket. He pulled them on, and crouched down so he was level with your face. He smiled. “Hold still.”

You did as he instructed, glancing behind you to make sure your clothes were out of the way. Junmyeon stood up and grabbed a bottle of green soap, squirting a bit onto his hands and rubbing it into your skin. Once the area was prepped, he picked up the stencil and did one last check before placing it on your back. “And now,” he hummed, smoothing out the paper, “we wait.” He sat down on the stool and rolled towards you.

“So, what makes you want a tattoo?” He asked, putting both elbows on his knees and resting his head on the palms of his hands.

“Well,” you started, “I already have a few, and I thought this one would fit with the others.”

“I know that, but what made you want to get your first one?”

You thought of first tattoo you got, which was a small knot on your right wrist, in the area below your thumb that could easily be covered by a watch. You stuck your hand out, turning it over so Junmyeon could see it. “I wanted it as a reminder to relax my muscles, since I’m tense a lot.” even as you said it, your brain clicked and your shoulders instinctively slouched.

Junmyeon took your hand, studying the small tattoo. He gave a small smile, muttering “cute” before letting go.

“Why did you decide to be a tattoo artist?”

He thought for a minute, tapping his jaw until he found an answer. “I liked art, and seeing it take physical form seemed pretty cool. The responses that I got from people were gratifying too, so I decided to make the most out of it.” He nodded, as if agreeing with his answer.

The two of you made small talk for about the next 10 minutes until Junmyeon stood up and brushed himself off. “Alright, we can probably take this off now,” he pinched a corner of the stencil on your back and gently peeled it off, being careful to not smudge the ink. The sudden rush of cool air made you shudder, and you got goosebumps thinking of how it looked. You heard the crinkle of paper as he set it on the desk, and saw him turn around and approach you out of the corner of your eye. He stopped, admiring his handiwork and thought for a minute before speaking.

“Can I take a picture of this? You would be able to see it then.”

You nodded. “Sure, does it look alright?”

He took his phone out of his back pocket and grinned from ear to ear. “Better than alright.” You didn’t move as he held the phone above your body and snapped a picture, giving the camera a bird’s eye view. He brought it down to your level, and you gasped once you saw it.

The ink began around your waist, the knotted trunk of the tree creeping upwards as the branches fanned out across your shoulder blades, mainly your left. Several flowers had been caught in an imaginary breeze, softly falling from the tree. The detail that had gone into the texture of the tree was beautiful, and you couldn’t fathom how it would look with color.

“Junmyeon, it’s beautiful,” you breathed, looking up him. You could tell how excited he was to get started by the way a smile was stretched across his face and he enthusiastically nodded.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road!” He slid his phone into his back pocket and took his stool again. Grabbing the tattoo gun from the small stand next to the bench, he rolled over to your waist and gave you a warning pat. “Just so you know, it won’t hurt as much down here, but once I get up here,” his hand slid up the middle of your back and to your shoulders, “it’s probably going to hurt significantly more.”

You gave a quick “gotcha” in response, and heard the familiar buzz of the gun as Junmyeon brought his other hand to settle firmly on the small of your back.

Junmyeon wasn’t wrong. The first chunk of the tattoo felt like slight pin pricks, only a little uncomfortable. As he moved up your back, however, the pain almost flipped like a switch. When he grazed over your spine, you nearly cried out, gripping the bench to keep from moving. He sensed your discomfort and paused, lifting his hand off of you.

“How are you holding up?” He gently went over the sore area with a rag damp with antibacterial soap, making sure not to irritate the tender skin.

You let out a puff of air you didn’t realize you were holding. “I’m alright.”

“We can take a break if you want,” he set the tattoo gun back on the stand and stood up, stretching his limbs. “You can stand too.”

You slowly sat up, your back stiff from laying on the bench for over an hour. He was almost halfway done with the outline of the tree, and the two of you had settled for working on the color in two weeks.

You swung your legs off of the bench so they dangled for a moment before standing up. A sudden rush of blood made you sway, but only for a millisecond before you leaned on the bench for support. You paced, putting the feeling back into your legs and attempted lifting your arms above your shoulders. You only got midway before a burning sensation started at your lower back and quickly spread upwards.

“I wouldn’t do that quite yet,” Junmyeon said, grabbing a water bottle from the mini-fridge nearby and handing it to you. You took it, trying not to appear quenched as you hastily unscrewed the cap and gulped nearly half the bottle down. “How bad does it hurt?”

You made the stretching motion again, observing the pain before putting your arms back down. “It feels like a bad sunburn.”

He nodded, taking a sip from his own water bottle. “That’s good then. You must have a high pain tolerance.”

You smiled and shrugged. “Maybe so,” you responded. “Do you have a high pain tolerance?” You gestured to his sleeves, because well, you’d either have to have that or be a masochist to have that many tattoos.

“Not at first, but it developed over time.” He shyly ran a hand over one of his arms, as if feeling for texture from the ink.

The break lasted for another 15 minutes, before Junmyeon finally sat down again. Flexing his hand one last time, he picked up the tattoo gun. “Do you think you’re ready to keep going?” he motioned for you to turn around by lightly pushing one of your shoulders. He surveyed his progress, checking to see what he needed to finish doing. “The most painful part is going to be this whole area here,” he dragged his fingertips up the column of your spine until they rested on your shoulder blade, “and I’m not expecting you to hold anything in. If it hurts, feel free to yell.”

You nodded. “Oh, also,” he added, “I’ll give you a warning before I start in those places.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” you said, and climbed back onto the bench.

As the tattoo got further up, you could feel your eyes water. He did give you a warning, softly saying “I’m going to start here now,” and press a couple fingers to the next spot he would be working on. You appreciated the gesture, because had he not done that, you would have yelled several times already. Once he got up to your shoulder blades, he settled his entire hand on the last chunk of unfinished outline. “Home stretch!” he said, and you turned your head to see him smiling at you. You gave him a smile back with a thumbs up. “Just so you know, this will hurt the most.”

You clenched your fist in preparation. “I’m ready.”

Junmyeon raised his eyebrows, saying a small “Okay” before beginning.

The first part were borderline unbearable. It felt as if someone was taking a blowtorch and sliding it across your skin. You gritted your teeth, letting out occasional pained groans as your hands tightly gripped the bench. Junmyeon was seated near your head now, and he could see the tears pooling in your eyes as he worked.

“Do you want me to talk you through this?” He asked, glancing down to see your eyes squeezed shut.

“Please,” you said, opening your eyes to find him staring in concentration at his current area of work. The pain was reducing the skin on your back to feel like it was throbbing, and you were getting desperate to get your mind off of the constant sting in your shoulder.

With that, he broke into endless banter and praise. “You’re doing so well, just a little bit more and we’re all done.” His left hand softly rubbed at the skin that wasn’t getting marked, being careful not to move too much and unsteady his working hand. “You know, y/n, I haven’t gotten a lot of women that want something like this. It’s brave, I like your courage.” He asked several questions not relating to the tattoo, such as if you had any pets, where you work, if you were in a relationship--anything to get your mind off of the pain. You tried answering them as best you could, thinking hard and long before answering each one. Of course, you asked mostly the same questions back, creating conversation as he continued working.

Finally, the tattoo gun left your shoulder, and the buzzing suddenly cut off. “That’s it, y/n, the outline is done!” You let out a sigh of relief, pushing yourself up on your elbows, then hands. You felt a warm hand on your shoulder, beckoning you to lay down again. “Hang on a minute, we’re not entirely done yet.” You laid back down, and heard him squeeze a puddle of green soap onto his hand. He rubbed into your skin and massged the tattoo, making sure not to press too hard on the fresh areas.

Once he was done, he peeled off his gloves and grabbed a roll of bandage and medical tape. As he wrapped you up, he explained the healing process and scheduled a day to see him before the last session.

“Here’s my number, since the shop will be closed next week you’ll have to text me where we can meet up.” He handed you a slip of paper and you stuffed it in the pocket of your jeans. You carefully sat up, Junmyeon taking your elbow for support as you struggled to keep the bandage from coming undone. You conversed for a little while more, before you said you needed to get home. You thanked him, then grabbed your things and headed out.

Walking into the door of your house, you thought of the places you could meet up.  Is this what a date would be like? You thought. Haven’t been on one of those in a while. You sighed to yourself, and set the bag of tattoo products on the counter and made supper.

Me: Do you like coffee?

Kim Junmyeon: y/n?

Me: That’s me

Kim Junmyeon: Oh, hey. Coffee’s fine with me. Did you see the one by the shop?

Me: Yep, I’ll meet you there at noon.

Kim Junmyeon: Perfect! It’s on the house, I did the barista’s bicep. He won’t mind if I have an addition with me.

Me: Awesome! Also, one more thing. Junmyeon?

Kim Junmyeon: Yeah?

Me: The parlor is open all week. I checked your hours online.

Kim Junmyeon: Heh, you caught me. A date, if you will(?)

Me: ...

Me: Sold

Kim Junmyeon:  (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

You laughed at the message and set your phone down. Although Junmyeon wasn’t very subtle, that’s what you found nice about him. At least he was a gentleman about it. You found yourself excited for the coffee date, and a little further down, finishing up your tattoo. As you rolled over in bed, one last message buzzed your phone.

Kim Junmyeon: Just so you know, the price isn’t going to get reduced just because you were attractive enough to make me do this. <3

Thank you!

[andrewdburton]

Saving regret — and how to avoid it

In November 2018, the National Bureau of Economic Research published a paper called “Saving Regret” [here's the full PDF version]. Once you wade through the study's academic language, there's some interesting stuff here about why people do and don't save for retirement.

Saving regret, the authors say, is “the wish in hindsight to have saved more earlier in life”.

Obviously, you can suffer from saving regret at any age. When I met 31-year-old Debbie for dinner last week, her issues boiled down to saving regret. She wishes she'd saved more when she was younger. But for the purposes of this paper, the authors turned their attention to folks aged 60 to 79, people of traditional retirement age.

The researchers found that two-thirds of those surveyed said they should have saved more when they were working: “66.6 percent said they would save more if they could re-do their earlier life.”

As you might expect, the authors found that high-wealth and high-income people experience less saving regret. (I'm pleased that the researchers recognize that there's a difference between income and wealth.)

But what causes saving regret in the first place? Why don't people save more? Let's take a look at what the study found.

Sources of Saving Regret

In their survey of 1590 people, the authors asked about education, personality, and what they term “positive and negative shocks”. (The latter is basically trying to to determine how unexpected events affect saving.)

After compiling the results, they reached these conclusions:

“We found only modest evidence for a relationship between our measures of procrastination and the desire to re-optimize saving.” Yes, procrastination is a factor in saving regret. But it's not as big as you might expect.

Failure to anticipate negative shocks — underestimating their probability and effects — has a greater effect on saving regret.

Overall, “a substantial percentage of respondents view their economic preparation to be adequate, yet they nonetheless express saving regret.” In other words, as many GRS have experienced, even when you think you have enough saved, you often wish you had more.

“Saving regret is high at the time of or shortly before retirement but is much lower at older ages,” the authors write. They believe there are two reasons for this.

First, when people stop working, they're faced with a lot of uncertainty. This uncertainty makes them long for a larger safety net, makes them wish that they'd saved more. In a sense, this is why I have been experiencing saving regret. When my life was settled, I was fine with my nest egg. But over the past couple of years, there's been a lot of unexpected, unplanned spending. Things seem uncertain. Because of this, I wish I had more saved.

Whether or not there's any actual increased risk to a person's savings, if she feels like there's increased risk, this leads to saving regret.

There's another reason saving regret declines with age: Consumption patterns change. The older people get, the less they spend. This decreased spending leads to greater relief. It lessens the stress.

A Shock to the Savings

Saving regret was greatest among people who always settle for mediocre results (85.8% of these folks experienced regret) and people who always put off difficult things (88.2%), but this is a very small sample of the whole. Plus, these are personality traits that, with effort, can be changed.

Another huge factor — one that could affect anyone — is what the authors term “economic shocks”. A positive economic shock might be receiving an inheritance. A negative economic shock might be losing your job.

From the paper itself, here's a table demonstrating the relationship between saving regret and economic shocks. (The number you want here is the “mean”. Convert this to a percentage to find out the relationship. For example, the 0.794 listed under mean for “Health limited work” indicates that 79.4% of those whose health affected their ability to work wish they had saved more.)

“Among those with saving regret,” the authors write, “66 percent reported experiencing a shock earlier in life leading to adverse economic consequences, compared with just 43 percent among those without saving regret.”

I found this tidbit interesting too: “Among those with regret, 38 percent reported that Social Security benefits were less than expected compared with just 26 percent among those without regret.” Perhaps it used to be difficult to anticipate Social Security benefits, but nowadays they should never come as a surprise. That info is easy to find.

In a lot of cases, it's not the shock itself that causes the problem. It's the failure to anticipate a possible shock. It's poor preparation.

The authors believe that people tend to be over-optimistic. They “[expect] future outcomes that are better than reasonably likely”. They think they're better than average and will achieve better than average results. Plus, they suffer from the “illusion of control”, an exaggerated belief in their ability to direct their destiny.

This last point is important for me (and many GRS readers).

I am a vocal advocate of becoming proactive. I believe strongly that, to the extent possible, we should all work to manage those parts of our life that fall within our “locus of control”. Some things — the weather, the economy, the actions of other people — are outside of our control, and it's foolish to spend our attention on them. But others — our attitudes, our relationships, our saving rates — are absolutely under our control, and it's foolish to ignore them.

When reading this article, I fretted at first that the authors were arguing that people like me believe we can control more our life than we actually do. I realized, however, that they're actually saying something different: Those who experience saving regret mistakenly believe that people and events in their Circle of Concern actually fall in their Circle of Control.

Money bosses like you and me may not have perfect perceptions of what we can and cannot control, but I believe we have a better understanding than those who express saving regret. We recognize that many things are beyond our control, so we prepare for possibilities. We expect the unexpected.

Avoid Saving Regret

The authors of “Saving Regret” don't delve deep into solutions. Their paper is informational, not prescriptive.

That said, I think the info provided in the paper suggests a handful of solutions to saving regret. If you want to save enough for retirement, do the following:

Forecast the future. I know it's tough to tell where you'll be in five or ten years. Sometimes, it's impossible. All the same, it's important to try. Having a plan reduces saving regret. The researchers found that “saving regret was highest among respondents who stated that they do not have a financial plan”. The longer a person's planning horizon, the lower their levels of regret.

Plan for problems. You cannot predict when bad things are going to happen. You don't know if (or when) you're going to get cancer, a drunk is going to crash into your car, or a typhoon will wash away your beach home. You can, however, be relatively certain that something bad will happen sometime. Your best bet is to be prepared — just like a Boy Scout. Maintain an adequate emergency fund.

Be proactive! There is never ever a reason that your Social Security benefits should come as a shock. The Social Security Administration issues periodic statements about estimated benefits. Plus, it's easy to look up projected benefits online. This is but one example of how you can take steps to prevent future surprises.

Master your money. “The relationship between saving regret and financial literacy is also strong,” the authors write. People with high levels of financial literacy experienced half as much regret as those at the lowest levels. To avoid disappointment later in life, learn everything you can about personal finance.

Save more. Yes, this is an obvious solution to saving regret. I get it. But let's make this explicit: Your saving rate — the difference between what you earn and what you spend — is the most important number in your financial life. Saving rate isn't just vital for money nerds who want to retire early. It's a key factor for achieving any financial goal.

Nothing can guarantee your financial future. The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune can wreak havoc on even the best-prepared people. But you can maximize the odds of positive results by taking smart steps now. You can decrease the likelihood that you will experience saving regret by taking action today.

Final Thoughts

If we knew when we were going to die, financial decisions would be much easier.

If I knew, for instance, that I would be mauled by a bear on, say, 04 July 2029, then it would be a simple matter to make sure my retirement nest egg lasted another ten years.

On the other hand, if I knew that the fateful bear attack wouldn't come until I was 120, then I could take appropriate steps so that I had enough money to last me seventy years.

But I don't know when and how I'll die. Neither do you. As a result, the best we can do is guess how long we'll live and how much money we'll need.

Very few people regret saving money. In fact, these researchers found that only 1.7% of respondents would have saved less if they could re-do their earlier life.

While 66.6% of respondents wished they had saved more when they were younger, about 10% of these folks say they could not have done so. There wasn't any way they could have spent less. But that means 60.9% of those surveyed could have and should have increased their saving rate.

What do people wish they'd spent less on? Men wish they had spent less on cars. Women wish they had spent less on clothing. And as much as it pains me, everyone wishes they had spent less on vacation. I sure hope my own travel spending doesn't come back to haunt me later in life.

Poorer people have greater saving regret. The authors write: “Among those in the highest wealth quartile, 38.9 percent expressed saving regret; among those in the lowest wealth quartile, 71.9 percent did so.”

It's tough to trace cause and effect here, of course, but I don't think it matters. The message is clear. The poorer your personal economic situation, the more important it is for you to save!

Wading through the jargon, there's a lot of interesting stuff about aging and aging in this paper. I've touched only on the main points. Some of the background info and asides are equally fascinating. (How do researchers predict how people will make future decisions? How do they model saving habits? What do they think of self-determination?)

But the bottom line is obvious: To avoid regrets when you're older, save more now.

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