#it's literally the only reason i haven't finished the translation for apeirophobia (which is sadly now deleted)

[odakuram]

ハレモノ/Swelling (English Translation)

Music/Lyrics: sazanami Illustration: Asupara Nas Vocals: Hatsune Miku

“That being said, I felt like I was also told all this when I was born.”

君はもし形を見てくれるなら 僕の居た証も見て取れるだろう 君の立つ姿は雨粒のようで 僕は吐く言葉も濡らしてくれた

If you were to look at my form for me, you’d be able to grasp the proof that I was here. Your standing figure, like raindrops, soaked even the words that came out of my mouth

切られた？切られてはないな 見られた？見られてもないな 浮かれた。浮かれても 追い付かれてはないようだった 振られて踏まれてわかった 誰にも知られてなかった 思い浸ってただけだ

Was I cut off? I wasn’t. Was I seen? Not that, either. I was on cloud nine. And yet, it felt like I couldn’t catch up. I was rejected and trampled on, then I knew No one understood me. I was just really immersed in my thoughts.

気付かないことに気付けないままな 僕だけが残されて今も動けないんだ 戻りたいのわかって？ 戻れないのわかってる。 でもまだ夢見てたい

Still unable to notice what I don’t notice, I’ve been left behind, and even now, I can’t move Do you know that I want to go back? I know that I can’t go back. But I still want to dream

話しかけられる度に 嫌味だと捉えちゃうから ここぞの時誰も僕を助けてはくれないんだ 1人だってわかってる 気取りだってわかってる でもまだ認めてない

Every time I get to talk to you, I get the sense you’re being sarcastic, so no one will lend me a hand when the time comes. I know I’m alone. I know I’m pretending to be bigger than I actually am. But I still don’t acknowledge it.

もう嫌だ もう嫌なのもやだ もういらない もう要らないのにまだ

Oh, I don’t like this There isn’t even a chance that I wouldn’t like it I don’t need it anymore I don’t need it anymore, and yet…

始めた頃はなかった海に 見たことないクラゲが泳いでいる （そうなんだ） 見慣れたフリに困った瓜が 掛けたくない言葉に痞えている （そうなんだ） 呆れるほどに弱った僕を 信じがたい現実が犯していく （そうなんだね） 敷かれた土に埋まった種が 咲きたくないと願って朽ちていく （そうなんだね）

A jellyfish I’ve never seen before swims in a sea that wasn’t there in the beginning (That’s right) A melon troubled by pretending it was used to all this is choked by the words I didn’t want to say to you (That’s right) Weakened to the point of being tired of it, the reality I wanted to believe in wrongs me (That’s right, isn’t it) Wishing that they wouldn’t bloom, the seeds buried in the soil withered (That’s right, isn’t it)

価値のないものに 見惚れてるうちに 無駄だけが明かされて 今を失ったんだ 辿り着いた答えは 星の数ほどあって でもまだ捨てられない

Even though it was worthless, I was so enthralled in it, Eventually, it was revealed that it was a waste of my time and I lost the present The answers I arrived at are as countless as the stars But I still can’t bring myself to throw them away.

自らを治す時に 外側をよく見せるから 心がまだ錆びたまま 煮えるまで気付けないんだ 嘘じゃないことだって 嘘みたいに刺さって でもまだ抜けられない

Because I mostly look outwards when I fix myself My heart was still so rusted and I didn’t notice until I was boiling It’s not a lie, and yet it pierces like one But I still can’t take it out

みんな居なくなるならと 逆に引き篭もることが 何よりも辛くて明日が来なければいいのにさ 眠くなったらどうして 寝てしまうのはこうして まだ陽が当たるから

Locking myself in and wishing everyone would die would be more painful than anything else,  and I wouldn’t want tomorrow to ever come If I wanted to sleep, then why does this happen when I do sleep? That’s because the sun still shines

もう嫌だ もう嫌なのがやだ もういらない もう要らないのにまだ

Oh, I don’t like this There isn’t even a chance that I wouldn’t like it I don’t need it anymore I don’t need it anymore, and yet…

生きてる

I’m alive.

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Text on-screen (timestamps courtesy of commenter 悠莉-s2d):

0:11　君にもし見放されていたらさ　僕はまだここに居ただろう

If you were to give up on me, I’d still be here, I think.

0:20　君ってさ、かわいい名前して案外汚ないんだね　でも、泥で洗っても取れちゃうから悔しいんだ

To think that you could have such a cute name and be so filthy. But it’d come off even if you washed it with mud, and I find that regrettable.

0:37　ないよ　まさか

I couldn’t catch up, seriously.

0:38　振られても踏まれても解らなかった

I was rejected and trampled on, and yet I didn’t know why.

0:41　いっそ知らないままで良かった

I would rather that no one knew about it.

0:46　一方的だった癖に　ならこれでさよならだ。

This may have all been one-sided, but let this be goodbye.

0:48　未発見なんてこの世にはもう存在しなくて　全部誰かがやらなかっただけの余りものだとしたら

Let's say that there's no longer anything in this world that yet to be discovered, and it's all just the remaining things that someone has yet to do.

0:57　見たい見たいって何度思っても　そこは人の入らなくなった映画館のようで　もう一生、夢なんて見れないのかもね

No matter how much I think of seeing you, it’s like an abandoned theatre–I couldn’t ever dream about it in my whole life.

1:06　でも、そうしたいと思ったは君自身でしょ？

But was it not you yourself who thought about doing so?

1:16　だから欲しかったシーンを全てカットして　退屈な時間を大量に差し込んだ

So I cut out all the scenes that I wanted and replaced it with copious amounts of ennui.

1:57　まるで今見つけたみたいにみんな言うんだ　君がちゃ��と見てなかっただけなのにね

Everyone says it like they found it just now, “But it’s just that you haven’t looked properly, you know?”

2:06　でたらめな文章ほど意味をつけたがるなんて　ほんと笑っちゃうよね

To put meaning in such a rubbish statement…honestly, it’s laughable.

2:15　まるで今見つけたみたいにみんな言うんだ　君がちゃんと見てなかっただけなのにね

Everyone says it like they found it just now, “But it’s just that you haven’t looked properly, you know?”

2:46　”でも、正直もういいかも”　　

“But I guess it’s better to be honest.”

3:51　なんて素晴らしい春でしょうか あなたのせいで　彼はどこかへ消えてしまいましたが

What a wonderful spring, don’t you think? It’s your fault that he disappeared to god-knows-where.