#it's likely I'll have to travel to london and shell out a fortune to even try getting any answers but living like this is
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sw1mmingfoolz · 3 years ago
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growth is feeling like u wanna unalive urself and full on ugly sobbing for like 15 mins before being like right anyway what options do i have rn
#sorry for personal posting on main but ah#i am losing my mind these days lol#i have no sleep schedule i just nap all the time n it kinda works but also i hate waking up at 2/3pm#but i just cannot stop#i don't actually have an official narcolepsy diagnosis yet in spite of my drs agreeing that's what it is#i did an mslt in February and was told I'd get my results in early march at the latest#it's may and I've heard nothing#called the number i was given and was transferred like 4 times before being told to just call my gp#who said they hadn't gotten any results so there was nothing they could tell me#i had to fight so hard to get an mslt in the first place because they just keep diagnosing me with depression#and yknow if i have depression it's BECAUSE of the sleep disorder lol like i cannot stay awake i fall asleep constantly#I can't sit down to write or watch a film or anything atm#i keep saying new bite me or gonna write another 500 drabble and then i'm out cold on and off til 3am#i'm exhausted all the time it rules my life i make plans around it and cancel any that are before noon#and if ik i have something important i have to be up early for i literally do not go to sleep bc ik I won't wake up#it's ruining my entire life lmao but i just get told i have depression or. have my mslt results lost?? ig??#was on the phone for over a half hour and just entirely broke down crying afterwards like i could not stop#eventually i just told myself to get a grip and started researching private clinics cuz i can save enough for private treatment if i try#and they listen more when you're paying them aha it's just narcolepsy is so rare most places don't even know of it#it's likely I'll have to travel to london and shell out a fortune to even try getting any answers but living like this is#just so unsustainable like i wanna do a degree and get a 'real job'#anyway sorry for the big tag ramble and personal posting i have had a rough morning but. I'll figure it out#i always do somehow#a/n#personal#probably delete later#i really said personal posting on main girl this is a sideblog what are u talking about
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