#it's like.. not that I'm not constantly tired when i just let my sleep schedule do whatever
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queerofthedagger · 1 year ago
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pro: i've been actually so consistent in my sleep schedule the last two weeks, i woke up at half past eight this morning despite having only gone ot bed at like, 4 am
con: i am so so so so so tired. all the time. how do y'all live like this
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earlysunshines · 2 months ago
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secret rhymes - 49. chest pain (written)
a/n: are you guys happy now...
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"why are you here?" minji is the one to answer the door, unfortunately for you. from the tone of her greeting, it seems she's grown to dislike you. "if you're here for hanni, i'd rather have you leave. now."
"minji," you respond quietly, biting the inside of your lip. "please. i need to see her, I just want to explain—"
"i don't care what you have to explain." minji says angrily. "you lied to her, and I can't tolerate that. she's been so down because of you. do you know how much you mean to her?"
"do you know how much she means to me?" you retort, brows furrowing.
"clearly not enough if you'd rather go out on a date instead of hangout with her. your priorities are evident."
"it's not like that, minji." you respond defeatedly, biting the inside of one of your cheeks. "please."
"y/n, we have a schedule tomorrow. i'm sorry but..." minji looks like she's hesitating, there's a split second where curiosity and pity flicker in her eyes. she sighs, "have a good night, y/n." then closes the door on you.
minji stays in place for a second, staring at the door before pinching the bridge of her nose. haerin, who witnessed the whole interaction, sits up when minji faces her.
"what was that?"
"y/n." minji says flatly.
"why didn't you let her in?"
"she hurt hanni."
"you didn't even let her explain-"
"what could she possibly explain, haerin. look, my experience with her is great, and I thought she was a good person but... after this... i love hanni, we all do. she's my best friend and i can't risk the possibility y/n hurting hanni more than she already has."
haerin purses her lips, watching minji—who's clearly conflicted—walk past her and towards her room. the sound of the door closing echoes in the dorm, but haerin remains in place, fingers tapping at the couch. she glances at the door, then back to where minji's gone, debating.
with a sigh, she pushes herself up and moves toward the entrance, unlocking the door and stepping outside. you're just down the hall in the midst of walking away, shoulders slightly heavy.
"y/n." haerin calls out softly, watching you turn around in surprise.
"haerin?" your voice is quiet, hesitant.
"you're just going to give up like that?" she asks.
"minji just shooed me away." your voice cracks a bit from the hurt. "so,"
haerin takes a better look at your features. you look tired, not in the sense that there's a clear lack of sleep, but your eyes are missing the same spark from before. you look like you've been holding up for longer than you can.
"what happened?" haerin questions.
you hesitate, but there's something about haerin's steady gaze that makes you feel like she's actually willing to listen.
"i messed up," you admit, voice barely above a whisper. you rub your face in your hands. "just, don't believe what you see on the internet. nothing is at it seems. i shouldn't have lied, but I just... ugh. it's really complicated. an old wound opened up, that's all I can say."
haerin nods in understanding.
"i didn't mean to hurt her. i didn't want to lie. i just... i need her to hear me out. even if she decides she doesn't want to see me again after that, I just—" you exhale, rubbing a hand over your face. "I just need her to know that I care about her. i really do love her."
there's a look on her face that's completely different from minji's. she still has that default, stoic look to her, but there's a flurry of emotion that gives you hope.
"god, you two," she starts, "you know, she's been a fan of you since before we even debuted. i remember having to find out about what artist she was constantly admiring and rambling about—you... and when you came to korea she was so... different."
"what?" you say in shock. hanni's been a fan since before you met her? she lied to you about not knowing who you were, and you were oblivious. something clicks in your head and it makes you realize that the first time you met her, that initial shock from her, there was a reason for it all. "she knew me?"
"you didn't know?" haerin tilts her head. "wow, guess you two are both liars then." she chuckles lightly and smiles. "I can't let this rift between you two grow."
"thank you." you glance down at the floor before meeting her gaze again. "can you, just... tell her to call me? or text me. whatever she wants, if she even wants to."
"don't doubt her. i'm sure the only thing she's been wanting to do is talk to you, but she's scared. she doesn't want to be hurt further."
"fuck," you curse quietly. your shoulders sink. "i'm sorry."
there's nothing to say after that. you look exhausted—worn down by guilt, regret, and the weight of unspoken words. you miss hanni more than any song could tell.
haerin nods slowly. "tell that to her. i'll let her know you stopped by, and to contact you."
you breathe out a quiet, "thank you," before turning and walking away, your steps leaving a trail of defeat.
---
when haerin gets back to the dorms, she doesn't go straight to her room. instead, she heads to hanni's door, knocking lightly.
there's a pause. it stretches for a few seconds before a muffled, "hello?" is heard through the wood.
haerin lets herself in—it's her thing, kinda.
hanni sits on her bed with a small journal beside her and a guitar on her lap. she looks noticeably tired, her usual energy dulled from the way her shoulders sink and the look she gives haerin when she stands in the doorway.
the younger door keeps her hand on the handle, biting her lip before muttering, "y/n came by."
hanni freezes up. she blinks at haerin, processing the words slowly. "what?"
"she wanted to see you. minji answered the door and told her to leave before she could explain anything." haerin shifts, watching the way hanni's fingers tighten around the neck of her guitar. "I went to go talk to her, you know how minji is."
"why did you go after y/n?" hanni asks.
haerin shrugs. "if i were in her shoes, i'd want to be able to at least explain myself. especially to the person I love. i met with her and... y/n explained briefly—i'm confident that it wasn't a date."
hanni swallows. her voice is barely above a whisper when she asks, "then what was it?"
"i think it's best you talk to her yourself." haerin advises. "y/n never meant to hurt you, i can tell. she cares for you deeply and i know you do too."
hanni doesn't say anything.
"look... i'm not as close to her, but I know she's a good person. give her a chance, hanni." haerin pauses before moving over to sit down on hanni's bed. "she asked me to tell you to call her. or text her. whenever you want. if you want."
hanni stares down at the strings of her guitar. the silence stretches between them.
the younger girl stares at her carefully, placing a hand on her wrist. "you don't have to decide anything right now. but... y/n looked pretty down. she misses you, I could sense it."
hanni exhales, her grip on her pillow tightening. she doesn't know what she wants to do. but the ache in her chest, the way her throat feels tight, the way her heart stutters at the thought of you waiting for a call that might never come.
and to be fair, hanni misses your warmth. misses the feeling that strolls along after the sound of your voice. she misses the looks you'd give her through face time and up close in person. she misses you and she's been missing you. but still, hanni isn't sure what she wants.
hanni isn't sure if she dares to talk to you now, but songs have always done the talking for her. late nights sharing your favorite songs with the undertones of something more in each tune and lyric. the secret rhymes that come with each track you two listened together, the quiet messages that neither of you could admit out loud. maybe a song or two could convey everything she's felt and the words she wants to say.
but for now, all she knows is that she still cares. you do too. and that's enough for now.
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masterlist ; previous - next
taglist ! @namojoon @ly-gushka @layonaiguess @artrizzler19 @yerimbrit @sixflame438 @nwjnsloona @saysirhc @nimnia @somedaydream @trovao-penguins @modanisgf @c-yerim @starstruckgoateepuppy @tzuyusdoughnut @kaypanaq @peranoo @haerinkisser @electronicluminarycoffee @yoohtonyy @secretcessy @keiji-jin @awkwardtoafault @syronns @linnnsworld @inybits @ynwrites @wonyoungssi
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candy69gurl · 1 year ago
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‎‏‏‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎⋅˚୨୧ ‎‏‏BARBIE PLAY ‎‏‏‎⋅˚୨୧ ‎‏‏‎
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MDI
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Hiromi Higuruma x innocent f!reader
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18+, dark, dub/noncon, manipulation, loss of innocence, manipulation, slight incest, praises, dad-daughter bonding , nipple play, face sitting, rough raw sex, blow job, multiple orgasms, infertility, mentions of cheating ART NOT MINE
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"I'll be gone for now." Hiromi sighs and stuffs a piece of toast into his mouth while wearing his black suit. "And, I can be late, so please eat dinner without me."
 "Daddy, are you going to work again today?" you ask, looking at him with puppy eyes, hoping he melts. "Leaving me alone with the nanny," you say quietly. 
Hiromi's expression transforms into one of concern when he notices the tone of your voice.
"I am pregnant!!" Your mother hugs Hiromi. 
He frowns at her. 
"You're joking, right?" Hiromi freezes and looks at her, shocked. "No, I am not. Why should I?" your mother replied. 
Hiromi sighs as his jaw clenches. He takes his bag and goes to leave.
"I don't want to discuss this right now. I'll be home late, so eat the dinner yourself." 
He shuts the door and walks towards his office. 
She cheated on him. There is no chance that could be his baby because he is sterile. She is unaware of this, and he does not want to inform her either. He doesn't blame her, he is so preoccupied with his work that he can't devote time to his wife.
*9 months later*
Hiromi glances at the baby girl.
"Doesn't she look like you?" your mother cooes.
"No," Hiromi bluntly says.
"But look at the smile; it's exactly like yours." 
"I do not smile." 
Your mother pushes her lips together and remains silent. 
*timeskips*
Your mother and Hiromi end up having divorce, and Hiromi takes custody of you since your mother cannot pay child support. 
Hiromi, although not your biological father, adores you and provides for all of your needs. Not everything though. Not himself. He is a highly busy man, so he is constantly away from you at work.
But there's something about you that offers him joy. He had never smiled in his life, except for the times when you make him smile. He is now attached to you in both ways, physically and mentally.
"I...Yes, I'm going to work again." Hiromi's tone of voice is rather soft and a bit depressed. He's trying his best to be a good father, but it's always hard to make it work because he is so busy with work all the time. Hiromi seems like he understands that his work schedule might be causing problems in their relationship, and he feels sorry for that.
You get closer to him, noticing his dark circles and pale skin.
"It's Sunday, and... you don't look so well."
Hiromi gives you a fake smile. The pale skin and the dark circles around his eyes are reminders of just how hard he's been working. He looks back up and smiles softly at you. "I know, I know. I'm just a bit... tired. But it's not too bad; don't worry about it."
It's clear to both of you that he hasn't been taking care of himself lately. Hiromi is so focused on work that he's forgotten to eat and sleep properly.
"I want to take care of you, dad. I want you to be here with me. I know how hard you work providing for us," you say, hugging him.
The warmth of your hug makes him close his eyes. Hiromi has been working tirelessly to support both of you, and your words make him realize just how tired and burned out he can be.
Hiromi hugs you tight, pressing his chest tightly against your face to feel your warmth. "I'm sorry... I know... I'll try my best to spend more time with you."
You can feel the strain of his exhaustion as he clings to you, like he's terrified of letting you go.
"I promise..." Hiromi whispers to you before letting out a small sigh of relief. It feels like all of the stress and worry that he has been carrying around lately is lifted off of his shoulders as he nuzzles into your soft vanilla-scented hair. Hiromi seems much lighter and more relaxed now. He realizes you have grown up and crave his presence more than you used to.
"Do you promise to spend the next Sunday with me?"
"I promise." Hiromi's tone is soft but serious as he says these words. He stares at you with his brown eyes, wanting to emphasize just how much your happiness means to him. He knows next Sunday's going to be your birthday, so he has to do something to light up the relationship between you too.
*timeskips*
The next Sunday comes, and Hiromi is up early to make you some breakfast. He is making your favorite pancakes, though his hands are shaking slightly as he does. Hiromi can't stop thinking about everything he wants to do with you today. He hopes that he can finally show you just how much he has been missing you.
You enter the kitchen yawning and stretching, and you are surprised to see Hiromi making your breakfast. Usually you get to see your nanny making you breakfast, but your dad has actually kept the promise.
You run to hug him from behind.
The unexpected hug from behind makes Hiromi flinch in surprise. He smiles softly as his eyes flicker from a look of shock back to one of warmth.
"Good morning, sweetheart..." Hiromi chuckles softly as he turns around and wraps his arms around your small frame.
The sensation of your body pressed against his fills Hiromi with a sense of joy. It's been far too long since he has spent quality time with you, and your presence now means the world to him.
"Dad, do you know what day it is?" You expectantly look at him.
"Yes, of course I do, honey." Hiromi's soft voice is like music to your ears. He pulls back just enough to look you in the eyes as he speaks.
"It's Sunday." Hiromi smiles at you warmly.
Pressing your lips together, you reply, "You really don't remember."
A fake look of worry crosses Hiromi's face when he notices your expression. He realizes just now that you have been testing him, wondering if he had actually forgotten what today was.
"It's your birthday today. How can I forget?" Hiromi smirks slightly, whispering. "Happy birthday, sweetheart!" Hiromi's voice is warm and soft as he smiles at you.
Hiromi leans down to give you a kiss on the forehead. He is sad to see that you grew up so fast without him much looking after you.
"Let's make this a day to remember, shall we?"
You nod excitedly at his words.
"How do you want to spend today?" He asks you, seeming excited at the prospect of making this day a special one for you.
"I want to spend the whole day with you at home."
Hiromi's expression lights up as he hears this. He would love to spend all day at home with you, just the two of you.
"Ah, that is perfect." Hiromi can't begin to describe how excited he is to spend the day with you.
"Now, let's go sit down and eat breakfast together. I've made some delicious pancakes for you." He says it softly, grabbing your hand to lead you to the table where your breakfast is waiting.
*time skips to night after having dinner*
The two of you have been spending the whole day together, and you can't seem to remember the last time you've had so much fun.
You're currently cuddled up with your dad on the couch, watching a horror movie together. You feel so content in his arms, and the comfort of your father's presence means so much to you.
Hiromi seems to be enjoying this just as much as you. He keeps looking down at you and smiling; his eyes are filled with an overwhelming sense of affection.
You have grown up now with striking feminine features.
"OO~ I love slender men," you squeaked.
As you watch the movie together, your eyes are drawn to the screen where the Slenderman character is stalking its victims.
Hiromi notices your eyes wander away and leans down to rest his head on your shoulder. He leans in close and whispers something in your ear.
"Don't you think he is evil?" He chuckles softly as he pulls back to look down at you.
"But I love slender men. I always had... He is just like you. He wears a black suit and has pale skin, just like you. He is not evil at all. He is cute, just like you."
"Aww..." Hiromi laughs at what you've just said. It's so innocent and endearing, and Hiromi can't help but feel amused.
"I guess I can sort of see that? Though I would never hurt a fly." He says this as he cuddles up to you a little closer, feeling the warmth and softness of your body against his. It makes his heart flutter.
"You know, since you're (your next age) now, I can start treating you like a little adult." Hiromi whispers in your ear. A look of pride lights up his eyes as he stares right at you with a small smile.
"And adults like to celebrate their birthday in a special way; do you remember what people do?"
"Oh, THEY CELEBRATE IN A DIFFERENT WAY?" You feel interested.
"Oh, yes, adults tend to have a bit of an extra special celebration." Hiromi grins widely as he looks down at you, his eyes sparkling with mischievous intentions.
He whispers something in your ear before leaning back and looking down at you with a playful grin.
"Do you want to know a secret?"
You nod excitedly.
"Come here and let me tell you..." Hiromi pats his lap and gestures for you to sit on his lap.
His playful expression is like a kid on Christmas as he looks back up at you.
"I have a surprise for you today." He whispers in your ear. You feel Hiromi squeeze your back slightly trying to pull you close to him.
You sit on his lap and feel him wrap his arm around your waist to pull you closer to him. Hiromi's playful expression has evolved into something that you don't recognize.
"Good girl," Hiromi whispers as he leans in close and presses his lips against your neck. His voice has taken on a tone of sensuality as he leans into your ear and whispers softly.
"What are you doing?" You giggle, feeling the tickling sensation on your neck.
"Keep being a good girl for me." His words are soft and tender as his breath caresses the soft skin of your neck.
"I want you to stay in this position," he says playfully, "just like this." He puts one arm around your waist while the other gently cups one of your cheeks.
"I love you, my girl. Nothing matters to me more than you." His words are like a hypnotizer, as his voice grows more seductive with each breath.
"I love you too," you reply. You can feel something is strange.
A grin spreads across Hiromi's face at your confession. You feel his teeth brush against your neck once more.
You flinch, and one of your hands runs through his hair, grabbing them.
"Ah..." Your sudden movement surprises Hiromi, but he loves the fact that you are responding so strongly to his touch. Your hands stroking his hair make him smirk faintly; the movement of your hands is so alluring.
Hiromi leans his head down towards yours, his forehead touching yours and his voice grows husky and deeper as he speaks.
"You're being such a good girl right now... So cooperative... and I know exactly what I want to do to you for your birthday."
"What-" You grab something hard underneath you.
Hiromi's eyes flutter almost shut at your touch.
"Hm...?" He seems to be enjoying the physical contact of your hands on that part of his body where you grabbed it.
A cheeky grin spreads across Hiromi's face. He leans back again to look into your eyes.
"It seems like you're the very curious type, and I was waiting for this moment." For a moment, he stares at you, studying your expression.
You look at him, confused.
He lets out a soft chuckle as he starts whispering again.
"Would you like to get a little intimate gift from your father? I wasn't kidding when I said this was going to be a very special birthday, was I?" He whispers softly, his breath hot in your ear.
You accidentally press on that hard object to rest your cheek against his chest and look up at him with innocent eyes.
"Yes, I want that gift. I want to spend more time with you." You reply, almost sounding as if you were begging.
This causes Hiromi's breath to hitch and his eyes to widen with disbelief.
He smiles down at you as he stares into your innocent eyes.
"Oh, you really are my little girl." He whispers softly, his voice filled with a deep sense of admiration and affection.
"If you want an intimate gift from your dad, we will have to go elsewhere." Hiromi's voice has become more sultry and seductive, his eyes never leaving your face. Hiromi seems to like the way you are pressing into him. His expression has grown even more seductive as he gazes into your eyes.
"Where do you want me to go to receive the gift?"
"My bedroom," he whispers softly.
"Oh, you have the gift there?" You ask, laughing sheepishly.
"Yes, my dear, that's where the special gift is." He smiles and reaches up to stroke your face.
He picks you up and takes you to his bedroom.
"You are very strong." You cling to his neck while he carries you. "You can carry me as if I am a baby."
"Well, you're still my little baby." He says softly as he carries you to his bedroom, being careful not to bump into things along the way.
Once inside the bedroom, he sets you down on his bed and gets on top of you, pinning your arms to the bed.
You wait for the gift.
He chuckles softly and looks down into your expecting eyes.
"Just let your hands wander a bit, and you'll find it." He whispers seductively, his breath touching your neck.
"Is it there?" You ask him, looking at his hardened member. It's already huge and bulging and could be seen through his pants.
"Mm..." He chuckles and leans down to kiss your neck before he speaks again.
"You sure know how to tease your dad, don't you?" He strides his tongue along your neck towards your collar bone, his breath burns your skin.
You allow him to kiss your neck. You still think he is playing with you, so you start to get mad and pouty.
"I don't understand."
"That's alright. You'll find out soon enough." He whispers softly in your ear, and his voice is almost breathless with excitement.
"It's going to be a very special day for you." He leans in close to you and whispers softly into your ear. "Just let me take control for today, and we'll make today all about you and your special birthday." He seems to find your cluelessness endearing, and his own excitement grows as he can tell that you have no idea what he's going to do to you for your birthday.
He smiles and sits down next to you on the bed, brushing your hair out of your face.
"You're such a naive girl..." His voice is full of sultry playfulness, and he stares at you with hungry eyes. "Do you trust Daddy?"
"Of course I do."
He seems amused by your innocent trust in him.
"Do you trust me to make this day special for you?" His voice is still sultry, but he also speaks with a sense of tenderness and care now that it's clear that he has you exactly where he wants you—vulnerable, naive, and trusting of him.
"I don't understand anything you're saying."
"You don't need to understand." He smiles warmly at you and places a hand under your chin.
"Would you let Daddy control you for today?"
He seems so confident in his words and has a sly, almost mischievous grin playing at his lips.
Suddenly, you sit up. "Ohhh, I GOT IT NOW.. You want to play Barbie with me? like I am your Barbie, and you will be playing with me?"
His smile grows wider at your innocent reaction, and his eyes seem to be gleaming with anticipation now that you are beginning to understand what he has planned.
"Yes, that's exactly right." He chuckles softly as he watches you sit up. "I want to play with my doll today."
"Yes!!!! take control of me. I am your doll today," you say without still understanding its meaning.
Your innocent words fill Hiromi's heart with a deep sense of joy and excitement.
He can't help but chuckle softly as he watches you shift around excitedly.
"Oh, my dear girl, you have absolutely no idea what you're in for today." His voice is filled with admiration and satisfaction at the fact that you're so willing to give yourself over to him.
Your innocent and lively attitude warms Hiromi's heart as he watches you lay back in a lifeless pose.
"My precious little doll..." His voice has taken on a much more sensual tone as he gazes down at you.
He places his hand on your cheek and strokes it playfully while he speaks. His other hand plays with the hem of your top.
"Let me change the dress on my Barbie."
You lift your arms up just like a lifeless doll, allowing him to open your top.
The playful expression on your face excites Hiromi's heart, and he chuckles softly to himself as he removes your top.
"You really are just like a doll to me, you know that?" He strokes your hair fondly and seems to enjoy the innocent look on your face.
His caress makes your body shiver with sensations, and you can feel his breath blowing against your neck.
"I will paint your face with my makeup. You will look really pretty. My very own pretty little Barbie girl."
You giggle excitedly.
"My little Barbie girl..."
Hiromi continues to caress your body as he speaks. He begins to move his hand down toward your chest.
He caresses your breasts, gently brushing your nipples.
He rests his head on one arm while he plays with your nipples with the other hand.
He grins at your playful expression, his fingers making you squirm on the bed.
"My little Barbie girl..."
You slowly turn to look at his face and at his hands.
He notices you looking over at his hands, and he smiles softly. His eyes are filled with admiration and a touch of pride as he sees you staring at him.
"Yes, my little doll... Look at me."
He chuckles softly, enjoying your reactions. He continues to caress your chest, watching you squirm on the bed with his hand.
He gets on top of you and starts kissing your cheek, then your neck. His eyes never leaving your face.
"My little doll is blushing at my touch. She is so responsive."
He places a small peck on your lips.
"I love to play with you, my doll," he says, keeping on speaking to you while his other hand goes down to take off your shorts.
"Would you like to wear a dress or a skirt?"
"Anything Daddy wants to put on me"—your voice trembles.
His hands go down to the thighs, pulling one up to caress your inner thighs.
His hands slide slowly up and down your thigh, causing you to shiver and gasp.
He moves himself higher on the bed to hover above you as his hands caress your thighs.
"My little doll is so sensitive to my touch. I wonder where else she is sensitive to my touch."
He smiles widely at you as his fingers trail along your clad clitoral area.
You gasp at his touch.
He chuckles softly at the playful expression on your face, his eyes shining brightly with mischievous excitement.
"I would like to paint you with my make-up first.".
Hiromi gets on top of you, unbuckling his belt and finally freeing his member with a loud groan.
"Will my little doll work to get the makeup?"
"W-what is that?" Your mouth drops. His huge, hardened shaft stands erect, leaking some cum.
"It's my..."
He seems at a loss for words, his voice trailing off.
His face flushes with a deep blush when he sees your innocent reaction to his freeing himself.
"I think we should just get the makeup ready first... Don't worry about that for now. Now hold your hands out so I can put the makeup on, little doll."
His voice is still filled with a playful tone as he reaches out to grab your hands.
Your eyes widen as he guides your hand and places it on his dick.
Your expression encourages him to continue.
"You're way too cute." He glances at your small hand, trying to squeeze him.
He slowly pulls your hand up, putting it against his lower lips, nibbling on your index finger, and then placing it back on his dick.
"Rub it and press it gently. It won't come out so easily. You have to work for that," he whispers seductively.
"I don't know how to."
"I can show you." He whispers seductively, his voice filled with a sultry tone.
He moves your hand in his and along his shaft, rubbing himself up and down.
"Yeah, just like that."
He can see how your face turned red, but that does not stop him from continuing to show you how to rub him.
His breaths become longer and deeper as he watches you, and his voice becomes increasingly sensual with each word he speaks.
He can see how excited your innocent behavior is making him, and he is enjoying every second of it.
Your inexperienced movements make him feel in control, and with every movement, you make him feel more and more aroused.
"Where is the cream?"
His breath becomes even more ragged, and his face flushes more as his body begins to twitch with excitement.
"You're so impatient."
He stops and leans to get closer to your face.
"If you want the cream fast, then you have to lap your tongue on it like candy. Does my doll like candies?"
You nod and take his shaft to your mouth, licking the tip.
He can feel your tongue sliding across the tip of his breath.
"It's salty," you say, sliding your tongue across his whole length. His mouth opened wide, and his body begins to shiver.
"You realized that it wasn't just simple cream, didn't you?"
"It's a special cream?" You keep licking him and lapping at his tip.
"Yes, a very special cream." He seems incredibly aroused as his breath becomes even more ragged, and you can feel his body twitch beneath you.
Your innocent and playful reaction is making it extremely hard for him to control himself.
He begins to twitch more intensely beneath you, and his breath continues to become even more strained.
His movements become even more intense, and he starts to arch his back slightly.
"Ahh... Aaaah!" At this point, his voice begins to become more agitated as he struggles to remain in control.
He looks up at your innocent eyes, eyeing his face while you play your tongue on him, and he is almost on the verge of losing his cool and just taking you right here and now.
"Ahh, my little doll..." He seems desperate for you to continue on.
"Pls, daddy, I am so eager for your cream."
"I know."
He places his hands on your head, and his grip becomes tighter on your head as he looks at you.
Your innocent behavior continues to take him further away, and he suddenly pushes you down on him, thrusting his dick into your throat and making you choke.
"Mghn?"
He pulls you closer to him as his body continues to shiver. He seems to be struggling to remain in control, and he seems to be unable to control himself anymore. He's beginning to breathe very hard as he grips your head even tighter.
Your teary eyes start to cause his mind to break, and his grip becomes even tighter, as if he wants to crush you against him. He can't even speak anymore; it's just incoherent mutters as his body trembles.
Your jaw starts aching, and you accidentally press your teeth against his shaft.
He lets out a loud groan as he feels your teeth on him. He grips your head even harder as he starts to whisper again.
"You're a bad little doll." He mutters as his voice cracks, and his breaths become even more strained as he pushes your head down on his length one more time.
Tears roll down your cheek as angry eyes spray upon him.
"My doll is angry with her dad now?"
He starts thrusting into your throat again. Drools slide down your mouth.
"Ah." His voice takes on a more seductive tone, and his smile grows more mischievous.
"Is my doll angry that I'm not giving her what she wants quick enough?"
You make a whimpering hum.
He bites his lip as his body continues to tremble. He takes his thumb and gently wipes the tear from your cheek.
"I see, I see, my dear." He runs his fingers gently through your hair as he caresses your cheek. "You're so desperate already, aren't you?"
He slows down his thrusts in order to tease you.
You squeeze his dick again with your teeth.
The little nibble causes him to let out a louder grunt than you'd expect considering how delicate your bites are.
"You're such a bad doll... And now you're even angry with me."
He runs his hands through your hair as he takes his dick out of your mouth and stares deep into your eyes.
"Do you want me to punish bad dolls?"
You wipe your mouth and give him an evil smirk.
"What's that, hmm? My doll is so curious as to what kind of punishment I will use."
He caresses your lips with his fingertips while he speaks.
"You are not being a good doll, and I'm going to punish you for it."
His voice is becoming increasingly playful, but at the same time, his touches still seem to make your skin tingle and shiver.
He takes off his white shirt and lays on the bed. He pulls you towards him.
"D-dad-"
"My doll, sit on my face."
As you are going to protest, he pulls you close again and yanks your panties off. His spreads your legs apart, his fingers parting your wet labia. He flips you so that you are now on top of him as his breath hits directly on your cunt, making you squirm in sudden sensation.
"Let's see how you respond to this."
With every word, he intentionally blows over your pussy , making you mewl and wrap your thighs around his face.
He feels you squirm once again, so he pulls his shirt, which was lying on the bed, and ties it to your hand, placing your hands above his hair.
He gives your clit a gentle lick, you arch in response.
As he feels you arch, he's eyes roll back slightly with excitement and then open up again with a deep and primal urge.
His breathing grows deeper and heavier as his lips brush against you, sucking on your clit then tongue slides against your entrance.
"What are you trying to do?"
"Shhh," he mumbles against your skin, kissing your inner thigh.
"M-my.. I"
He chuckles and presses you down on him; his hand grips you tightly to stop you from squirming.
"Please, I am going to release something. Stop."
Hiromi smirk. His tongue, continuously flicking on your clit.
You feel a strange warmth building inside you.
You grip his hair tighter while riding his face, your hips unconsciously buck against his face. Thighs fasten around his head as you arch back to release.
"Daddy," you say, with his tongue still on your clit , gently teasing and making you overly sensitive.
"Let it out..."
"G-gah," your whole body vibrates with every breath that hits against your clit. Your heart starts to beat quicker.
You can see him licking his lips, and he pulls away from you.
"Did it feel good?"
"What was that?" you ask, avoiding eye contact.
"Was my doll so nervous that she couldn't even look at her daddy's face?" He says it in a teasing tone.
His lips curl into a playful smile as he wraps his arms around you again, his body pressed against yours as he pulls you close to him.
You're suddenly caught off guard by his actions and before you knew it, he leans his head towards you, and he suddenly presses his lips against yours. His breath is hot and heavy. He pushes you down on the bed, and his hand travels to your oversensitive clit.
"Do you like your own taste?"
He gives you a peck once more, and the feeling of you licking his lips causes him to smirk. He inserts two of his fingers inside you, scissoring and stretching your hole. You moan and struggle against him, and your movements makes him even more aroused.
"You're good, very good... Now, the final part of getting the cream."
"Why is it so hard to get the cream? It must be really special."
"Oh, this cream is very special. It's my secret recipe. You won't be able to get it from anywhere but me." He chuckles softly before pulling his fingers out and whispering to you again, getting on top of you and wrapping his arms around your waist.
"Just a bit more, my doll. We're almost there."
He pushes himself inside your wetness.
"Aaaah~" you scream out in sudden thrust.
He stares into your pain-inflicted face.
"Does my doll feel hurt?"
He starts moving slowly.
"Yes, d- don't move."
He can feel your eyes begin to tear up and your body shudder as the feeling gets harder and harder to bear. He swirls his tongue on your hardened nipples and squeezes your breasts gently.
He pulls you closer to him and whispers softly in your ear, "I know I'm being too rough with you, but please bear with me just for a little bit more. The feeling will be worth it. Trust me."
"You're such a good little doll that even after all that pain and discomfort, you still trust your dad." He caresses your tear-stained cheek as he begins to speed up.
Hiromi's voice becomes more and more frantic as the pace increases. You feel a strange warmth growing between your legs as his thrusts start getting sloppier and rougher. His hand travels down your neck, slightly choking you while swirling his tongue with yours.
"Does my doll want more?"
"I want the cream," you moan.
"That's good to know...Don't be impatient; good things will come to those who wait."
He whispers softly into your ear.
Hiromi pulls out of you and looks at you with a smirk. He pushes your legs onto your chest and inserts himself once more, his dick reaching deeper and hits your cervix.
"I-I can't breathe", you grab onto his neck.It becomes unbearable for you to take it anymore.
"Just a bit more, my doll; we're almost there."
Hiromi begins to kiss you passionately as he grips you tightly again.
His tongue starts to move to your earlobe, nibbling the tip.
"Ah, good doll, I see you're taking this really well."
He begins to move faster than before, and your body shudders from the intensity of the sensation.
"Good, good, don't stop taking it in doll."
His breath becomes more rapid as he pulls you even closer against him, and he whispers into your ear.
"You're taking it so well, my doll."
You moan, and your body starts shaking again.
His breath becomes heavier as he speeds up, making the sensation even more powerful and clear.
"You're a good doll, such a good little doll... Keep taking it; keep taking it all in."
His voice becomes more desperate, and his pace increases even more.
Your stomach tightens as you release again with a loud moan. Hiromi slows down his pace, letting you calm your nerves. Your walls clamp around his shaft, squeezing them. His breath becomes heavier, and he gets to the edge too. He thrusts a few more times before spilling inside you, stuffing your pussy with his infertile seed.
"Was it good?"
Hiromi looks into your eyes with a playful grin as he pulls out of you, watching his seed drool down your clamping pussy.
You breathe through your mouth as your heart beat starts getting back to normal.
Hiromi stares at you for a bit; he seems pleased with your response. He pulls you close again and kisses you with a soft smile.
"Good, doll, was it everything you had hoped for?"
"But my cream??"
He stares at you for a bit; your body is shaking from satisfaction, and he smiles. He laughs a bit and speaks up, "Alright."
He pushes two of his fingers into your dripping hole, making you flinch and arch back. He gathers some of his cum, applying it to your cheeks and lips.
You lick your lips and giggle.
"You like it?" Hiromi lays next to you, spooning you.
"Mhm..salty," you say, drowning in sleep.
He looks down at you and sees you begin to slowly drift asleep.
Hiromi can't help but grin as he pulls you close to him and kisses your head.
"My barbie"
720 notes · View notes
anemoiadawn · 1 year ago
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< about time >
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pairing:: bang chan x older male reader genre:: smut // fluff - - minors dni!! word count:: 2.9k summary:: you’re an overworked college student and your best friend, bang chan, is a famous kpop idol. he’s constantly busy and you haven’t seen him in months. he surprises you with a visit late one night, and scenes in the movie you watch sparks a flame you didn’t know existed between you two. warnings:: smut !!! unprotected sex, oral (m receiving), slight d / s dynamic, dirty talk, praise, slight pet play if you squint, swearing, petnames, age dynamic & honorifics, crying notes:: my first work on here :fingers-crossed: not entirely proofread either srry ;; i’ve actually never seen ‘about time,’ but i know vaguely what happens in it- bare with me if i get anything wrong ,,</3 i don’t know how to end stories i’m so sorry
it’s been a long day. you’ve been working on your homework all day- reading textbooks and taking notes, replying to insufferable classmates on discussion posts, studying for an upcoming test. all you want is someone to hold you, and nobody comes to mind.
that is, except for your best friend, chan.
he’s always there when you need him, but he's beyond busy. he’ll pick up every call within a ring or two, but never has time to talk more than five minutes. but he never forgets to text you good night, sleep well, to dream happy thoughts.
you groan, leaning back in your chair. would he come over if you asked? does he even have the time? is he even still in korea? you spiral and spiral until you eventually pick up your phone, deciding to find out for yourself.
he picks up before the first ring, a coarse voice filling your ear. “y/n? you okay? it’s 2am, sweetheart.” your heart aches at the petname.
“i- sorry. i’ve been up working on homework, i didn't mean to wake you up.” you whisper into the phone. chan laughs gently.
“i’ve been up. don't worry about me, it's just good to hear your voice.” a silence falls over you, registering his compliment. “you there?”
“yeah- yeah, sorry. just…” you bite your tongue. “i miss you, chan.” he sighs on the other end of the phone.
“i miss you too. look, how about… i wrap things up here, and come over?” your eyes widen.
“wait, really? can you even do that?” chan laughs again.
“of course i can, y/n. i don't have a schedule tomorrow, so i can do whatever i want tonight. would you like that?” chan teases.
“yes, please. i need you.” you bite your lip at your neediness. chan chuckles, and you hear a rustling on his end of the phone.
“you need me, baby boy? did i hear that right?” you groan, squeezing your eyes shut.
“that’s hyung to you, sir.” you correct.
“you're barely older than me! don't make me call you that.” chan whines.
“yeah, yeah. hurry up over there and come over, okay?” chan huffs playfully.
“okay. give me like thirty minutes, i'll head out right as i finish.” you smile, pursing your lips together at the thought of seeing him again.
“see you soon, channie.”
“see you soon, y/n-ie.”
---
it's almost exactly thirty minutes before you hear a knock at your door. you jump up, running to unlock it, greeted with your best friend dressed in all black.
“hi, channie.” you say softly, playing with the hem of your shirt. chan smiles, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around your waist.
“hi, hyung. i missed you.” chan whispers as you sigh, wrapping your arms around him, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. chan chuckles, squeezing you tighter. “you okay?” you shake your head.
“just… long day. needed to be around someone.” chan nods, caressing your back, holding you tight.
“i know, sweetheart. i’m here now, okay?” you bury your face deeper into his neck.
“okay.”
it feels like eternity, standing there in the atrium, hugging chan. but you wouldn't have it any other way. chan breaks the silence, clearing his throat.
“hyung, let's go to your room. you need to get some rest.” you groan, holding chan tighter.
“i'm not tired. i still have work i need to do, i’m so behind and-”
“hey, hey.” chan pulls away, holding your shoulders at an arm’s distance. “don't worry about all that. just get some rest, with me, yeah?” chan cups your face in his hand, caressing your cheek. you lean into his touch, your eyes fluttering shut.
“okay.. fine.” you give up, melting into chan’s touch. chan giggles, moving a hand from your shoulder down to your hand.
“that’s my hyungie.” chan praises, leading you up to your bedroom. 
once you get there, you sit against the headboard of the bed, pulling a blanket over your lower half. “let me help you.” chan offers, sitting beside you and gently pulling the blanket over both of you. “we can watch a movie or something if you want?” chan suggests, snuggling closer to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and laying his head on your shoulder.
“we can watch something, i'm okay with that.” you lay your head against chan's head, closing your eyes and sighing softly. chan moves a hand to your thigh, caressing it softly.
“alright, anything in particular you want to watch?” chan asks, rubbing small circles on your thigh, feeling your breathing slow down. “or should we pick something together?” chan hums, enjoying the warmth of your body against his.
“what was that movie you watched with stay the other day?” you ask. “i was busy when you watched it, so i never got to see it.”
“oh- about time?” chan blushes. “that’s like my favorite movie. i’d so be okay with watching that again.” you smile, reaching for the remote and turning on the tv. you pull up the movie and press play, chan’s thigh against yours, his hand caressing your skin.
the two of you enjoy the movie, cuddling and leaning against each other. about halfway through, a sex scene pops up on the screen, shocking you. you purse your lips, trying to focus on the screen, instead of the hand on your bare thigh. chan continues caressing your skin, seemingly unbothered by the scene on the tv.
“hyung.” chan whispers, moving his hand closer to your inner thigh. “i’ll stop if you tell me to.” you shake your head, eyes falling down to the blankets, covering chan’s hand.
“it’s.. it’s okay.” chan hums, continuing to stroke your thigh, matching the rhythm of the movie's steamy scene. he keeps his gaze on the screen, as you bite your lip and refuse to look up. chan slowly snakes his hand up your inner thigh, dangerously close to your crotch. chan nuzzles his face against your shoulder, as you bite back a whimper.
“hyung...” chan murmurs, turning to you, stopping his hand right above your growing bulge. “do you want me to stop?” his voice trembles, his breath warm against your neck.
you shake your head. “no, i… please keep going.” the movie forgotten, you purse your lips together, turning away from chan from embarrassment.
“good boy.” chan praises, his heart pounding out of his chest. he slides his hand up to your clothed erection, palming it gently through your shorts. chan presses a soft kiss to the side of your neck, slipping a hand under your shorts and cupping your length over your underwear. you whimper, squeezing your eyes closed.
“channie…”
“shh, it’s okay, hyung. i’ve got you.” chan reassures, stroking your erection through your underwear. he presses soft kisses down your neck, nibbling gentle marks into your skin. “so fucking hot for me, yeah?” chan teases, increasing the pressure slightly.
“shit…” you bite back a moan, looking down at where chan is touching you.
“i know, baby.” chan coos, feeling you twitch beneath his touch. “i want to make you feel good, okay?” chan whispers, sliding his hand inside your underwear and gripping you gently. “is this okay?” he asks, his own erection straining against his pants.
“yes, yes, please, channie.” you beg, your dick twitching in chan’s hold. you shift the blanket, moving it off your crotch so you can watch him touch you. the cold air is a welcome feeling, as chan’s hand is so warm against you.
“fuck, hyung.” chan gasps, his eyes widening at the sight of your hardened length. he takes a deep breath, leaning down and taking you into his mouth.
“chris! oh, fuck.” you buck up into his mouth at the sudden feeling, his mouth warm and tight around your cock. chan chuckles around you at the use of his real name, as he moves a hand down to play with your balls gently.
chan hums around you, sucking harder, his tongue dancing along your shaft. chan caresses your balls gently, eliciting another whimper from you. “you taste so good.” he lifts off your cock to breathe, then dives back in, swallowing your length fully and bobbing his head rhythmically.
“channie, oh my god.” you bury a hand in his hair, just petting it, not trying to force him to stay down on your cock. you throw your head back, whimpering as chan swallows around you.
“i’m not stopping, hyung.” chan promises, leaning back down, his cheeks hollowing as he sucks you deep. chan releases your balls, gripping your thighs tightly, hard enough to leave marks. “cum in my mouth, hyung.” he begs. chan increases his pace, sucking harder and bobbing quicker, his saliva dripping down your shaft. he takes you fully in his mouth, his nose brushing against your pubic bone. you hold back a loud moan and bite your bottom lip. 
“close, channie. so close.” chan nods, swallowing around you, humming gently. a hot flash runs through your body, your hips bucking involuntarily into chan’s mouth. you come with a loud groan, filling chan’s mouth with your warm seed. you shake through your orgasm, your body going weak and your head falling back against the headboard. you pant, petting chan’s hair as he gently sucks you clean.
“there you go, baby.” chan praises, swallowing your cum and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. he presses a kiss to the side of your cock, humming happily. “are you alright?” chan asks, looking up, concern in his voice. you nod, visibly exhausted, opening your eyes slowly to see a red-faced chan with a crooked smile, his mouth slightly open.
“i- thank you, chan. that was…” chan giggles, leaning in to kiss your cheek.
“anytime, hyungie.” chan smiles, his heart racing. he sits closer to you, pulling you into a hug. “how do you feel?” he asks, his erection hard against your hip. you blush, leaning into his hug, shifting so your hip brushes against his bulge. chan whimpers, burying his face into your neck.
“i’m okay… what about you, channie? can i help you?” you whisper, caressing his inner thigh. chan whines, breathing heavily against your neck.
“hyung...” chan stammers, his erection pulsating against your hip. “i want to fuck you.” he confesses, his voice barely audible. “but only if you're okay with that.” he adds, his heart pounding wildly in his chest.
“oh, god.” you throw your head back in shock. “i want nothing more than that. please?” you plead and chan lets go of you, throwing the blankets off you both, sitting in front of you. he carefully guides you to lay on your back, your head against the pillow. chan giggles, slipping your shorts and underwear off your legs, leaving you alone in your shirt. chan slips off his shirt, revealing his perfectly toned body. you purse your lips together, admiring his body. “you’re so beautiful, chris.” chan blushes, looking away, covering his face with his hands.
“stoppp… i’m not.. i’m not beautiful.” you pull chan down, his legs kneeling on either side of your torso. you cup chan’s face with one of your hands, the other placed on his chest.
“you’re perfect, in every way. you’re so, so, pretty, christopher.” chan whines, burying his face in the crook of your neck, his face flushed red. “i mean it, baby. you’re so beautiful.” chan groans, pulling himself up.
“okay, okay, i get it, you’re in love with me.” chan teases, kneeling on his shins, slipping out of his shorts and underwear. you tilt your head to the side, admiring chan’s body.
“you’re not wrong. i’ve kinda always been in love with you, chris.” chan stops in his tracks, making eye contact with you.
“i… i love you too, hyung.” chan mumbles, his heart overflowing with emotion. he looks down, pumping his cock twice, his tip wet with precum.
you melt, reaching your hand out to hold chan’s. “so pretty, channie.” chan shakes his head, shy, taking your hand into his.
“hyung…” chan whimpers, his eyes locked on yours. he positions himself between your legs, his tip pressing against your entrance. “are you sure?” he asks, his voice shaking. you nod.
“i’m sure, channie. i’m good, go ahead.” you squeeze chan’s hand. chan takes a deep breath, pushing in slowly, hissing as he feels the tightness of your entrance. he stops, waiting for you to adjust. 
“you okay?” he asks, his face flushed. you squeeze your eyes shut, gripping chan’s hand tightly.
“so- so big, channie.”
“sorry, hyungie.” chan apologizes, pulling out slightly and slowly pushes in again, a little further this time. “i’ll be gentle, i promise.” he whispers, his eyes locked on your face. you purse your lips together, gripping chan’s hand as tight as you can.
“it’s okay- ah,” you whimper. “you can go deeper. i can take it.” chan nods, thrusting slightly deeper, eyes blown wide at the sensation.
“fuck, you’re so tight, hyung.” he groans, starting a gentle pace, rocking back and forth out of you. you throw your head back at the burn, squeezing chan’s hand at every thrust. he squeezes back gently.
“puppy, feels so good.”
you can feel chan twitch inside of you, and he collapses onto your chest. he breathes heavily, holding your hand tight, stalling the movement of his hips.
“call me that again.” you chuckle, slipping your free hand into his hair.
“what..? puppy?” chan whines, burying his face into your shirt. he ruts up into you involuntarily, groaning as he pushes deeper into you.
“you’re driving me crazy, hyung.” his thrusts pick up again, going deeper every time. you softly pull his hair, groaning at the wonderful mix of pleasure and pain.
“just like that, puppy, you’re doing so well.” chan gasps into your shirt, his pace growing frantic. he fucks you harder, his free hand gripping your hip tightly. you moan loudly, eyes blown wide, watching chan fall apart on top of you.
“i’m- fuck, i’ll cum if you keep calling me that.” he bites the fabric of your shirt, his dick twitching inside of you as he ruts deeper into you. you squeeze his hand, pulling his hair so he lifts his head. chan looks up at you with teary eyes, a pout on his lips. you pull him closer, kissing him gently, your tongue running over his bottom lip. chan whimpers into the kiss, his dick throbbing inside of you. he slips his tongue inside your mouth, matching the frantic movement of his hips. he bites gently at your bottom lip, licking into you hungrily.
“good boy,” you whisper between kisses. “just like that, puppy.” you suck on chan’s tongue, squeezing his hand. chan moans into your mouth, his thrusts becoming sloppy. he fucks you harder, feeling his orgasm building up.
“hyung!” chan cries out, holding your waist tightly. he gasps between kisses.
“come on, puppy, you’ve got it.” you praise, kissing his nose. “come for me, pretty boy.”
chan chokes out a sob, arching his back, releasing into you. he kisses you hungrily, riding out his high. “i love you, hyung.” he whimpers, spilling his seed into you, pumping it deeper. you pet his hair gently, letting go of his hand. you cup his face, caressing his cheek, wiping a stray tear off his face.
“you did so well for me, puppy. i love you so much.” chan nuzzles his face into your hand, quietly letting the tears fall. “hey, hey, are you okay..?” you panic, frantically wiping his tears with both hands. chan nods in your hands, taking a deep breath.
“yeah, i’m sorry, just…” chan wipes his own tears away, embarrassed. he buries his face into your chest, murmuring. “just overwhelmed.” his voice cracks. your heart aches.
“i know, baby. i’ve got you.” you hold him closer, petting his hair and kissing his scalp. chan whimpers, holding onto you tightly. he lays on top of you, panting heavily, trying to catch his breath.
“you made me feel so good, hyung. thank you.” he mumbles into your shirt. you chuckle, tilting his head up by his chin to meet your eyes.
“anytime, channie. that was perfect.” you kiss chan’s nose. he giggles, kissing your lips tenderly. he smiles into the kiss, burying his face into your neck.
“thank you, hyung.” he whispers, nuzzling his face against your skin. you squeeze chan in your arms, sighing contentedly.
“i’ll hold you as long as you need, but we need to clean up soon, baby.” you caress his back, skating your fingertips along his muscles. chan shivers, snuggling into your embrace. he nods slightly, then slowly sits up, slipping out of you with a groan.
“we- we should clean up now, i think.” you nod, sitting up, wincing as globs of chan’s cum spill out of you onto the bedsheets. you chuckle, looking down at the blankets. 
“we’re gonna have to do laundry, too.” chan giggles, helping you up to your feet, kissing your shoulder.
“let’s do that tomorrow, yeah? for now…” chan pulls you in for a passionate kiss. “let’s take a shower, okay?” he whispers against your lips. you nod, rubbing your nose against his.
“good idea, pup.” chan blushes, covering his face with his hand.
“stoppp it, hyung.” he whines, turning away and heading towards the bathroom as you follow closely behind, knowing that tonight is nowhere near over.
270 notes · View notes
number1jeonginstan · 2 years ago
Text
[1:23 am]
Chan x afab!reader (established relationship)
A/N: Feeling the need to write and I'm like 700 words into the second chapter of Coffee (I write really fast). Also, this is my first time ever writing smut, so I thought I should make it a short story. Please give me constructive criticism so I can improve for you guys! I want to write things that you guys truly enjoy and want to read! Please ask if you want me to write anything in particular.
WC: 1k (I literally meant to make this 300 words...)
CW: Consensual Somnophilia, piv, unprotected (please don't), daddy kink, use of baby girl, cockwarming (kinda)? (idk what else to write here tbh)
"Channie, can you please just come back to bed, you've been working so hard for so long" you whined laying in your shared bed. Purple LED lights surround each corner of the room. "I'll be there in a second babe, I just have to finish this up first"
You loved Chan from the bottom of your heart, but you were so tired of him constantly working himself to the bone. He didn't know what the definition of a break was and it frustrated you. You were too tired to stay awake, so you decided to just go to sleep.
Chan finally finished his work, excited to watch the movie you had been talking about for days. He thought he was only working for an extra 5 minutes, but the clock read 3:12 a.m. He looked at his bed to see you fast asleep, like a kitten, curled up in a ball wearing only his shirt and your panties.
He loved seeing you like this, so at peace he didn't want to do anything to bother it. He curled up in the bed next to you, ready to fall asleep, but what he heard stopped him in his tracks. You were on his bed, moaning his name in a soft whisper. He was going to lose it, he didn't think he neglected you that much. He's just been so busy with work.
He thought about the last time you guys had sex. It was almost a week ago due to both of your busy schedules. He wanted to make you feel good, and he could already feel his erection growing in his shorts.
You guys have thoroughly talked about having sex while one of you was sleeping in case you really needed to get off and the other was there, so he took advantage of this.
He pulled down your panties whilst kissing your neck. He needed to make you feel good, but also stretch you out well since it had been a while.
You were already wet from the dream you were having, and he was grateful for it, slowly rubbing your clit while rubbing your nipples over his t-shirt. You started whimpering into his ear, and he felt like he could come on the spot. Something about the sounds that you make for him always makes him feel some type of way.
"Fuck y/n, your fucking soaked," he said out loud to no one but himself, "you are thinking about daddy fucking you even while you are sleeping aren't you?"
"Yeah, I bet you are thinking about squeezing your sweet fucking pussy all over my cock. God, let me stretch you out before I put my cock inside you babygirl."
He started using his fingers to stretch you out, starting off with one because you were just so fucking tight. Your eyes started to flutter in and out of consciousness when he started to put the second finger in. He could feel your cunt starting to clench around him, he knew you were going to cum soon, he started playing with your clit again trying to get you to cum on his fingers.
"Fuck baby, just like that, ride daddy's fingers like I know you can." Your moans got a bit louder, but you were still in a deep slumber.
Chan couldn't take it anymore, he needed to bury his cock inside of you before he came from just touching you. He slowly started to push his thick cock inside of you, he could feel your walls clenching and he had only put the tip in.
"God baby, this pussy sucks me in so well. What could I do without my baby, always ready for my dick."
When he finally sheathed inside you, he was in a state of euphoria, he couldn't help but groan out loud. No matter how much he loved to make you cum, he needed to chase his own high now. He needed to cum inside you, fill you up with his cum til he saw it leaking out.
He started thrusting rapidly, not caring if the members woke up with the sound of the headboard smashing against the wall.
As his thrusts started getting sharper, you began to stir awake, "Channie" you asked as you groggily woke up to something feeling so good inside of you.
"Shhhh baby" he tried to silence you, "just take my cock like the good girl you are."
That's exactly what you did, as he continued to rut into you, he shifted a little bit, hitting that spongey spot inside of you.
"Oh fuck" you moaned, "Harder daddy, I'm almost there, please come inside I need your cum so bad, please daddy come inside, need it, need it in me."
You were clenching down so hard on his cock, he wanted you to come together, he needed to creampie you on his cock.
He reached over and started playing with your clit once again to help you get over the edge. "Come on baby, come with me, such a good baby, letting me cum inside of you like the good little baby you are, love taking daddy's cock don't you can't get enough. Have to take it even while you are sleeping that's how much you want it?"
"Yes daddy" you replied, "need your cum, need it in me so bad" that's what sent you both over the edge, him cumming inside you and staying there, not daring to move.
"Was that good sweetheart, don't want daddy to take his cock out of you? Want me to plug you full of my cum til we both fall asleep" he asked groggily.
He waited for a reply, only to see you fall back asleep. He chuckled at this but ended up falling asleep still in you.
345 notes · View notes
biisexualemma · 10 months ago
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guts pt.7. bucky barnes
word count: 4.5k
warnings: triggers, trauma, ptsd, mentions of blood and injuries
requested: i guess so
plot: bucky is awol and you have to navigate without him
a/n: this series is pretty intense sorry for all the angst but also i live for it lol also this is preeeettyy long but i promise it's worth it... just stick it out to the very end...
part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / masterlist
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you walked into the kitchen, expecting the room to be empty, instead you caught steve with a mouthful of cereal sitting at the kitchen island alone. you hesitated, about to walk back out and return when you didn't have to face any of them.
you were exhausted, physically and mentally, you'd had nightmares every night for nearly a week. you were getting next to no sleep, you felt like a zombie in the day time, bags under your eyes, brain fog, your body felt physically weighed down. you tried not to let it show when you were around the rest of the team, but you were struggling the longer it went on.
just as you took a step back to head back to your room, steve spoke up. "i'm nearly finished," he glanced at you for a second out the corner of his eye, before scooping another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. "so don't run away on my account."
"i wasn't running away," you clarified, trying to snap back but honestly you were too tired so it came across a little more pathetic than you'd intended. "i... thought i forgot something but then i realised i... didn't."
"sure," he mumbled in between scoops, rolling his eyes. "just eat your breakfast, training starts in 10. don't be late again."
"you don't have to instruct me, i'm capable of keeping my own schedule," you were just arguing for the sake of it at this point. you didn't really care about any of it. you had to numb yourself to your surroundings and that included the people constantly in your vicinity that hated your guts. the avengers hating you had become the least of your concerns in the last week. you were too busy trying to function as normal when you felt so far from it.
"10 minutes, y/l/n," he repeated, placing his empty bowl into the sink and walking out of the kitchen.
you shook your head, trudging into the kitchen to make yourself something quick to eat when you were startled by the sound of another voice. "you should get some coffee in your system, you look tired," you'd recognise that voice anywhere, anyone would.
"be careful, you almost sound concerned for my welfare, tony," you regained your composure, ignoring his suggestion and making yourself a round of toast. "did pepper tell you to speak to me or something?"
"don't speak to me about pepper," he was short with you. nothing new. "it was an observation, we need you on top form if you're to be beneficial to us at all. so, take some sleeping tablets, go to your mandated therapy sessions and drink your coffee like the rest of us."
"so fucking dramatic," you rolled your eyes, taking a bite of your toast, speaking without swallowing first. "i'm fine. not that it's any of your business."
he gave you a look, like he knew something, and for a second you thought that maybe he did know something. had bucky told him about the other night? about the mission? you hadn't said much, but you thought that was between the two of you. bucky was supposed to be keeping an eye on you, did that mean he also had to report back to tony about you?
no, he wouldn't, would he? you didn't completely trust him, but you thought there was some kind of mutual understanding. a complicated mutual understanding.
"just show up and don't fuck up, ok?" he raised an eyebrow at you before turning to leave the room. what was up with everyone today?
"you know, coffee doesn't solve all your problems, you fuckin' boomer," you mumbled that last part, scoffing as he walked away.
you ate the rest of your breakfast in relative peace before heading to the training rooms, on time.
there were a few people missing, leaving only you, tony, steve, wanda, and natasha. bucky was nowhere to be seen, you couldn't figure out if that was a good or bad thing. he was usually your sparring partner, you hadn't trained with anyone else since you'd been here.
you wandered around, getting yourself situated and stretched out when steve walked over to. you glanced over your shoulder at him while stretching out your arms.
"you're with natasha today," your arms dropped to your side when he spoke. you opened your mouth to protest but he had anticipated your reaction and held up his hand to stop you. "bucky's out of action— natasha is subbing in for him. they have a similar technique, and i want you to continue the repetition of your usual training sessions."
"out of action?" you couldn't catch yourself before you said it aloud, your eyebrows furrowing for a split second. bucky always showed up. he was always here. you thought it must be something serious to keep him, bucky was a stickler for routine and repetition, he hadn't not shown up before. something you'd picked up on unconsciously by being around him. "what does that mean?"
"it means out of action," he repeated, he looked you up and down, noticing the expression that flashed across your face for a split second before you hid it. steve liked to think he was good at reading people, but he struggled with you. he thought he'd known you better than anyone way back when, but you proved him to be wrong. and now, now he didn't even recognise you, never mind knowing you. your expression could've meant everything or nothing. "he'll be back in tomorrow."
you avoided steve's eyes that were piercing into you, he was trying to get a read on you. you immediately put your guard back up, not even realising till now that you'd let it slip. "a break from mr routine, what a treat," your lip curled into a weak smirk but it quickly disappeared when natasha joined the two of you on the mat. "never mind, this is worse."
nat didn't say anything, she hardly looked at you, her eyes on steve. her eyes were always on steve though so that was nothing new.
"work on your hand to hand combat, both of you," steve said, eyes lingering on you before a second before turning to natasha. "stick to the training sets that bucky's been running with you, y/l/n."
"don't you think we should switch it up a bit? bucky's not even here to—"
"stick to the set, romanof."
you'd never really heard steve be stern with anyone other than you before, his eyes lingered on natasha who was glaring at him unmercifully. "sure thing, cap'n," she rolled her eyes before briefly looking over at you, unable to hold your eyes for long. "c'mon then, y/l/n. sooner we start, sooner we finish."
"you sweet talk all your partners like that, nat?" you cocked an eyebrow, watching how hard she was trying to avoid meeting your eyes. you let out a scoff.
"shut up and start," she mumbled quickly before taking a swing at you.
you pulled back just in time, her fist ghosting past your jaw. "jeez, alright, lets go then."
you sparred back and forth for what felt like forever, neither of you getting anywhere. your fighting patterns were too alike, you had been trained the same way after all. so you knew every punch and swing she was going to throw and she knew yours. it was exhausting.
you were a little slower to react than usual purely based on your lack of sleep, but you still managed to keep up with natasha, practising like you would normally with bucky. you thought about what was keeping bucky out of action, he never mentioned anything and as far as you knew he didn't have any missions lined up just yet.
you'd have to remember to bug him about it next time you see him in order to curb your curiosity.
you felt steves eyes on you as you continued to fight, mindlessly you swung in all the right places, ducked when it was natasha's turn to fight back. it was nothing you hadn't practiced a hundred times.
"keep your mind sharp, y/n," steve hollered at you from across the room where he'd been watching your every move. "you're lagging."
"i'm keeping up just fine," you snapped back, not appreciating him calling you out in front of everyone when you were doing the exercises he'd instructed you to do exactly like he'd asked. "keep an eye on romanoff why don't you— we all know you prefer to keep your eyes on her—"
"y/l/n," he raised his voice sternly. "shut up and concentrate."
you rolled your eyes as you swung at natasha's head and she caught your wrist like she was supposed to. "maybe if i didn't have you nagging me i could concentrate better—"
natasha caught your fist in her hand, pushing you backwards, throwing your fist back at you. you huffed, jabbing at her as she slapped your hands away every time. "i don't want to hear your excuses, y/l/n."
you were caught off guard for a second, your attention turning to steve who was oblivious to the words that held so much weight to you. in a second you were transported back to that night, you felt it all.
that was until natasha's foot smacked into your face, silencing all the noise and knocking you with a spin straight onto your ass. 
"nat," you just about heard steve scold her over the ringing in your ears. "i said hands."
"she was getting too comfortable," she defended, not even concerned. "you said it yourself, i just did something about it."
you held your hand to the side of your face where it was beginning to throb. "you're such a bitch, romanoff," you gritted through your teeth.
she looked down at you for a second before rolling her eyes and looking back over at steve. "you're too soft."
"take five, romanoff."
you pushed steves hand away when he tried to help you up, instead pushing yourself up onto your feet yourself.
"i suggest you take a break too, get some ice on that," steve was trying to be civil, he could see your cheek burning up already.
"i'm done for today," you said in hurry, permanent frown now stuck on your face. "fuck this and fuck you both."
-
it was later that day, you hadn't seen or heard from anyone, not even bucky. you had showered and proceeded to sit in your towel on your bed and stare at the wall for what felt like hours until you finally were able to pull yourself out of your trance and change. truthfully, you had no idea how much time had passed, you were in and out of your head since your training session with nat earlier, you were finding it harder and harder to distinguish between what was real and what was a memory. being in this place, being around these people dredged up memories you'd suffocated and buried for years. you weren't sure how much longer you could keep up the act and go along with all of this.
there was a knock at your door, your eyes refocusing as the noise pulled you back to your room, your hands laying on your thighs, nails dug into your bare skin. your head turned to the door but it didn't open, it wasn't bucky, he would've let himself in. nobody else ever knocked at your door. 
you dragged yourself over and snapped at the handle, pulling the door open to reveal steve on the other side.
you eyed him up and down, "i told you i was done for today."
he was fixated on something, you didn't know what it was, but having spoken you seemed to snap him out of it. he cleared his throat. "that's not your call to make. i need you on a mission tonight, no fuss or mess," he stiffened, his shoulders straightening and his eyes glued to your forehead, he wouldn't look you in the eyes. you were a machine to him at this point, to all of them, not human, not capable or useful unless you were in the field. "it's you, nat and me, and we gotta go now."
"i don't think that's a good id--"
"i don't care how you feel about either of us, leave your shit at the door and do what you're here to do. i need you suited up in ten," your hollow eyes stared up at his but he didn't meet them, he turned and walked away, calling over his shoulder, "don't be late."
you were suited and down in the hanger in ten minutes, head pounding when the mission brief was read aloud to the three of you.
-
you were supposed to be in and out. 
your eyes were empty, you stared ahead, the thudding noise of the helicopter muffled in your ears as you sat across from nat and steve. you stared at their feet, eyelids heavy, you needed to land and get out of this metal box and away from them as quickly as possible. you couldn't take another lecture, you couldn't hear how you'd fucked up again. 
neither of them had looked at you since you narrowly escaped the mission you'd been sent on hours ago. nat was being tended to by the medics on the aircraft, you had slapped anyone away that had dared to come near you to clean you up. you needed to get out, you needed to get away from them now and yet you dreaded what was to come when you landed. there had already been a debrief on the failed mission passed along to the team back at the compound, so they could do damage control and prepare for the return of you three.
your body rocked as the aircraft came to land, the hanger doors began to open and you unbuckled and got to your feet. you were so dissociated at this point you could hardly feel any of the pain, just a throbbing all throughout, but that didn't mean you didn't know that it was bad. you felt your leg lose out under you, a medic came to assist you but you swatted them away and dragged yourself out of the helicopter with a slight limp.
your ears rang, you could hear their muffled voices talking to each other, nat and steve had marched on ahead of you not even looking back. you just walked straight, eyes unfocused and unclear, you were in a daze, unable to come back around. you just needed to get away from everyone, that was all you could think when two hands grabbed either side of you and physically halted you in your stride. the cool metal touching your burning skin pulled you out of your head, you eyes refocusing on him now standing in front of you.
you studied his face, eyebrows knitted together tight, his stoic blue eyes darted around your face and further down your body where your clothes were torn, and blood soaking the fabric in places. you were relieved to see a familiar face and soft eyes after being glared at and scalded for the past twenty-four hours.
"woah-- woah-- what happened to you?" you had a gash above your eye, bleeding still because you hadn't let anyone touch you or clean you up on the flight. your eyes still glossed over and slightly unfocused, but you felt yourself soften and ease up at the sound of his voice. behind him out the corner of your eye you watched the rest of the group angrily marching off in front of you.
"don't," you mumbled, barely audible. you were beginning to come out of your daze, he was pulling you out. you were starting to feel the full extent of your injuries. everything hurt, sharp shooting pains in your shoulder, your ankle weakening on you as you continued to walk.
bucky was looking you up and down, more concern as he watched you in real time start to feel your injuries and come back to your surroundings. he glanced ahead at the team who didn't even look back at you, his eyebrows furrowed tighter, confused. 
"c'mon," he held his arm open to you, offering himself up as a crutch for you to use until he could get you to a medic room. you glanced at him for a second, your head pounding, looking on at the team again who'd carried on without so much of a glance, and then back at bucky who had stopped with you, his arm still hanging open. "c'mon, i can help clean you up."
"you don't have to do that," your voice was low, embarrassed even that he was once again seeing you at your lowest point.
"i know," he gestured with his hand for you to come over and, though reluctant, you let him hold you up as he took you to the nearest medic room.
"bucky," you mumbled quietly, unsure what you wanted to follow with.
you didn't often use his name, it caught him off guard a little but he covered it quickly, clearing his throat.
"i know, it's ok."
-
"careful," you hissed, tilting your head away from him when he applied too much pressure to the cut above your eye. "that hurts."
he took a deep breath, holding his hand away from your face, waiting until you gave him the ok to continue. you moved back towards him, a small frown on your face as he moved to carry on cleaning out the wound.
"do you want to tell me what happened yet?" his eyes flickered down to your eyes for a split second. he wore a soft frown of his own, trying his best to keep his emotions in check.
"there's not much to tell," you mumbled, eyes now focused down on your lap, where your hands sat fidgeting.
"tell me anyway," he was trying to keep you occupied while he cleaned you up to keep you from pulling away again. he didn't want to keep you longer than he had to, he could tell you were tired. 
"i just lost my focus for a second, that's all," you shrugged, playing it down. bucky could tell there was more. "i'm human, it happens."
"like when you lost your focus in training?" he watched as you shifted with his eyes on you, redirecting his gaze when he realised you were becoming uncomfortable.
"you weren't even there," you mumbled. "you don't know what happened."
"you could tell me," he paused, letting his hands drop, falling opposite to where yours still sat in your lap. 
your eyes were cold, uncertain when you lifted them to meet with his, your eyebrows knitted softly together. "how am i supposed to trust you?"
bucky sighed, putting down the supplies he'd been using to clean out your wound.
you didn't know where you stood with him. he acted as if he cared about what happened to you but you couldn't figure out if that was genuine concern, or if it was a tactic to get you to open up because he had people to report back to about you.
repeating it to yourself in your head, it sounded ridiculous, you sounded paranoid, but you had every reason to be with this particular group of people. you knew this team well, inside and out, all the good and bad. except for bucky. you'd heard of him, you'd encountered him in your past lives but you didn't know him like you did the others. 
"not everyone has it out for you, you know," was his response. "i definitely don't."
"your job is to get me to trust you though—"
"my job is to make sure you don't go rogue," he cut you short, he shook his head. "you don't have to trust me— i get why you wouldn't want to. but i'm here and not just because i have to be."
your eyes flickered back and forth between his while he spoke, trying to absorb everything he was telling you and his meaning. you looked over at him a little bit softer than before, reminded that his history was just as grey as your own.
he let out a sigh when you didn't budge, straightening his back out and pulling his gaze away from you for a second. "alright, if i tell you a secret, will you tell me what happened?"
you rolled your eyes, out of habit you said, "a secret? how old are we—"
"y/n," he warned you to stop teasing and you did. you huffed, looking over at him sternly and nodding.
"fine," you spoke. "tell me."
he took a deep breath, exhaling through his nostrils. your eyes squinting ever so slightly, watching as he rubbed his palms against his thighs. "everyone walks on egg shells around me," he started. "they send me to therapy, give me a routine to stick to, only put me out on the safer, straightforward missions— they want me to be better," he spoke with a slight shake in his voice. "but they watch me, hover, waiting for me to slip up — it's a constant remind that everything's not normal— that i could lose it at any given moment."
you were hanging onto his every word, your eyes locked onto his which moved around the room as he spoke, your lips parted slightly. you wanted to say something, anything, but nothing seemed right.
"you don't don't do that," his eyes met yours when he said this and your breath caught in your throat slightly, catching you off guard. "you hold me accountable, you don't make excuses for any of the shit i've done."
"bucky—"
"you make me feel more human than i have in years," he cut you off, shaking his head when you tried to speak. "you don't treat me like a ticking time bomb— you don't hold back—" he exhaled, like he'd let a weight off his shoulders. "and even though you're a pain in my ass— i feel more myself around you than anyone else."
"interesting," you stretched the word out, your eyes glossed over as they wandered away from him in thought.
it'd been a while since someone had enjoyed you being around them. you'd spent the past decade or so on your own, you had gotten used to it, but the past couple months you'd spent with bucky had been different. whenever he didn't show up, though it wasn't often or without good reason, you found yourself lost. you had been navigating everything here with him there every step of the way, whether you appreciated that he was there or not. subconsciously, you had grown used to having him two steps ahead or behind you. 
"don't let that go to your head, i also said you're annoying— and i meant it," he quickly cleared up, clearing his throat. "i also meant it when i said that it was a secret."
"ok, i promise i won't tell anyone you think i'm super annoying," you joked, the corner of your lip twitching upwards only for a second as you teased him. you swore you saw bucky's eyes flicker down to your lips. you narrowed your eyes at him but before you could say anything he'd beaten you to it.
"you're really funny," he rolled his eyes, before nudging his knee against yours. "it's your turn anyway. 'fess up."
you huffed, rolling your eyes. "it's really not as interesting as your little confession," he didn't respond, only waited patiently for you to carry on. his eyes didn't move from yours. he wasn't going to let you off. "ok i'll tell you but quit the staring competition, sarge."
he straightened his back, creating a bit of space between you two, his eyes wandering down to your fidgeting hands.
"i was paired with natasha, because you weren't available and someone had to watch me," you began to explain, he watched as you pulled at your fingers while you did. "you should probably keep in mind that since the nightmares got particularly bad i've been skipping my therapy sessions," he looked up at you disapprovingly, opening his mouth to protest but you cut him off. "i know, i don't need to hear it," you pleaded with him, he sighed. "anyway, i haven't been sleeping, at all, which you kinda know, i guess," you struggled to hold eye contact with him. "and i don't know-- i jumped the gun, ignored natasha's direct order to hold my position and as a direct result, tipped off the guards that we were supposed to take out discreetly, who then set off the alarms and disrupted the entire mission."
your head was hanging low at this point, unable to meet his eyes again. you ran your hand over your face, letting out a tired huff. "i got my ass handed to me, because i'm not on top form right now. tony tried to tell me and i didn't listen, steve told me to get my shit together and i didn't listen, nat tried to keep me in check and i didn't listen."
"if natasha hadn't been so quick to act, i'd probably look a lot worse than i do," you sighed, your forefinger and thumb trying to unknit the crease between your brows. "they're all super pissed at me. pretty sure tony is ready to give up on this whole thing, and maybe that's not the worst idea."
"tony's not going to give up on you," was the first thing bucky said. 
you shook your head. "he's done it before, he'll do it again."
"trust me," bucky shook his head, his hand moving to sit on your knee, giving it a squeeze. "it happens, for one reason or another, missions never go exactly the way we plan them to. tony knows that better than anyone."
"we're supposed to be better than this."
"you know better than anyone that we're not."
you chewed on the inside of your cheek, trying to keep yourself in check. "i'm just tired," you mumbled. "really fucking tired of all of this."
you felt your throat tighten, immediately dropping your head when you felt your eyes grow wet. bucky's hand moved from it's place on your knee, grabbing onto your fidgeting hands and giving them a squeeze. your eyebrows knitted upwards at the contact and before you could restrain yourself, you had closed the gap between you, desperately wrapping both your arms around him. you tucked your head into his shoulder, letting out a sigh of relief when you felt him wrap his arms around your torso and squeeze just enough so that he didn't hurt you.
"i know," he breathed out, a little bit taken aback from you initiating the physical contact. "it's ok, we'll figure it out," you nodded slightly, sniffling, tucking your face further into his neck, your breath ghosting his skin. his breath hitched in his throat, goosebumps running up his arms. he gave you a squeeze before encouraging you to pull back. he was more confused than ever.
your eyes stung red, wet with tears but none had spilled, you used the back of your sleeve to wipe under your nose. your cheeks were flushed, blood beginning to trickle down again from the cut that bucky hadn't finished cleaning. his lips parted, unable to move his eyes away from your face and the state that you were in. he just wanted to make it stop. his eyes lost on you, he couldn't form a coherent thought, he just found his body involuntarily leaning closer to yours.
your eyes darted back and forth between his blue orbs, they were soft, full of concern and warmth. your eyebrows twitched together in a small, fleeting frown, you felt yourself pull back from his lean in. almost brought back to reality from the small movement you'd made, bucky faltered, his eyes refocused from where they had been glossy and locked in, he paused. he opened his mouth to apologise but before he could say anything your hands were either side of his face. you hesitated, the scuff of his stubble under your fingertips was new, it was rough but somehow a comforting reminder that he was real, he was in front of you and he wanted to kiss you.
you moved closer to his face, eyes now meeting directly in front of each other, noses inches apart, your chin tilting upwards to ghost your lips in front of his. "are you--?"
"it's ok," you barely got the words out before he closed the gap, his lips against yours. your hands travelled to the back of his neck, his moved to your waist. he was kissing you.
tag list: @caillouthebabywitch @alanis-altair @the-obelisk @seabass17 @bqnners @jihyunncho @inpraizeof @angelpirabbit @the-chocoholic-writer @cjand10 @paintlavillered @leviathanspain @luckyzipperscissorsbat @g1g1l
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majulians-groupie · 27 days ago
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Coloring books and comfort🤍☁️✨️
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SOOOO a friend of mine got me a coloring book and I had an epiphany..
Steve Rogers is canonically an artist,SO WHAT IF reader gave him a coloring book as a gift to help him deal with stress by expressing his creativity..
🪷*I guess it would go like this:*🪷
Warnings:gn!reader,use of y/n once,mentions of stress,insomnia and pressure,mild flirting
︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶
Its early in the morning.You walk into the compound kitchen to make some coffee and to your surprise,you find Steve already sitting in the kitchen island,a cup of warm tea on his side and his head  between his hands.You know better than to startle him,so to move towards him slowly
-"Heyy.."
You put a hand on his shoulder
"Everything alright cap"?
He still got a bit startled.
-"Um..hi...hello.Didnt see you there".
He gives you a weak smile
-"That wouldn't be easy with your head in your arms now wouldn't it?"
He tuts.
-"I guess so..."
-"Well...is everything alright?You seem tired..
-"I..." he takes a deep breath.
"I am not exactly tired.
Well yeah..I AM tired,just...not in a "I want to sleep the rest of the morning off"tired.Not that I can really sleep either way but..it is mostly that my mind feels like it is stuck inside an endless fog,and whenever I try to find a clear opening,a new problem appears.
-"You have trouble with sleeping"?
-"I think it is just that my biological clock is messed up.You know,from missions and stuff.I return home at odd hours so end up waking up also late..It's weird now that I'm having the whole week off.I have to admit I spend a lot of time staring at the celling before dozing off"
-"I see.."
-"It's not such a-''
You give him a look.
-"Alright...alright it is a big deal.I guess I need to find something to do.Sam's been telling me to find a life outside the captain america thing.
You set your coffee down and you sit next to Steve,putting a plate of the oatmeal cookies-recipe stolen from Sam's sister-in front of him.You know they were his favorites,and you doubt he had any breakfast.
-"It doesn't sound like a bad idea,you could actually really use some 'me time'.
-"But my schedule is already tight as it is,and between missions and working out,I am beat.I don't think I have the energy to use the few hours I have for myself in the weekends to drive to the city to do something.Besides,my hours are constantly changing,so anything such as a class,or a volunteering thing that has responsibility is not a choice for me."
-"Woah woah there,lets take it slow.Start with something small.If you want my opinion,you really sound like you need a more personal hobby.Dont get me wrong,volunteering is sweet,but you already spend your everyday life helping people and fighting the bad guys.Also,no such thing as a class.You need to do something relaxing,something that shuts your mind off and isn't physically exhausting."
-"Such as?"
You take a sip of your coffee and take a moment to think
-"Don't you sketch?"
-"Yeah but as much as I enjoy sketching it does not turn my mind off.It actually makes me even more anxious.Trust me,my perfectionist side can be scary.."
You stare at him
-"OH trust ME Steve,I know.We've done countless of missions together.Believe it or not,I'M AWARE."
He gave you a light chuckle.
-"I once tried to sketch after a mission on the way home in the jet and I almost had a mental breakdown."
You sigh and stare off, outside the window,before speaking.The compound is always so serene when it is early,and the morning fog makes the bland and almost pretentious  lawn look like part of a movie setting.
-"Yeah...I..I...,I get you.I also felt as if the only way to shut my mind off was sleeping,and when that couldn't happen because of my insomnia,I was..restless..irritable.We do a highly stressful job,and I guess the adrenaline takes a long time to wear off.And I don't even have any kind of star-spangled persona to carry home with me."
You think you almost saw Steve giving you a soft look before he merely sighed as well and spaced out,staring where you had been looking into before.
-"Have I ever talked you about my latest hyperfixation?I have a new favourite way to spend my Sunday evenings."
-"Really?What is it?Did you discover another book series?Is the protagonist hot but relentlessly grumpy?"
-"NO...Well...not this time.My sister actually got me a coloring book and some markers.You know,I have the same problen with sketching.It is simply not what can help me when I need to relax.A nice hobby?Yeah.My favorite way to spend my time when feel creative?Definitely.But for sure not something to unwind.The coloring book though actually seems to do the work.Not having to create something from the start seemed to help.And there so many styles and artists out there!
He seemed surprised and took a good look at you.
-"A...coloring book?Like the ones children have?"
You snort
-"Oh my god,YES Steve,but try it more like the 21st century, adults can have nice things too.How can you not have seen or head about them..they're all over TikTok!
-"I dont have TikTok.."
-"Of course you dont.ANYWAY...it's actually really cool.It is something very creative that takes up all of your focus but you dont have to work up towards any expectations-you give him a look-or results unless you want to or are in the mood to add extra stuff on your own."
Steve seems to give it a thought
"I guess the way you describe it...,indeed it makes it sound cool.Thanks,y/n I will check it out later.Maybe can find some on the internet.."
You know he won't.It is not that he doesn't want to,but you know Steve.His mind is all over the place.He has a million things to do,a million places to be,and for a guy whose system got pumped up with a miracle superhuman serum,a TERRIBLE memory.So,you decided it's time to get him little gift.
You opened your computer and ordered your favorite coloring book and a package with the basic colors from your favorite marker brand online.It was a little expensive but if it helped Steve,it was worth it.
Lately his crazy routine and overwhelming responsibilities are starting to catch up on him,and honestly,it makes you worry.You're not the only one who has noticed.You have also caught both Sam and Bucky staring at him with concern on moments he seems off.More often than not he either spaces out,staring at walls for minutes or becomes extremely restless,constantly frowning and tapping his foot on the ground.
After a few days,the book and the markers arrived.You put them both in a cute box and wrapped it up carefully.You put the small package outside his door,along with a box of his favorite tea,and a note.
-Next morning,-as every morning of the last 15 days-you find Steve already in the kitchen.This time though,next to his coffee is the coloring book you gave him.
You go up to him with a smile.
-"Do you like it?"
He also gives you a warm smile in return.
-"Actually yeah.To be entirely honest,I kinda doubted it at first.But..I gotta admit,it is lowkey addicting.Thank you sweetheart,it was...really nice..and considerate of you."
You both blush like the idiots you are
-"Don't mention it,it was nothing.I'm really happy you liked it.
You give his shoulder a squeeze and,as every morning, you put a plate of cookies in front of him.
-"Now I just have to find a way to bring it on missions with me."
-"You're afraid that the big serious Captain America will be seen with a coloring book?"
-"You will be surprised how many people only respect you if you fit their own criteria of what your image should be"
His words sting a little.Sometimes you can't keep but wonder if all that pressure on his shoulders in necessary.
-"Sorry to hear that.Should me and Nat need to teach some new recruits manners?"You nudge him playfully.
-"Leave the kids alone" he said with a sigh."It's not them thats the problem either way."
You think that actually sounds worse,but you keep from telling him.You don't think it's the time for a discussion like that.It's early,and for duck's shake Steve actually looks calm after a long time.
-"You're no fun" you whine
He gives you a look.
-"Whatever,hide who you truly are Steve Rogers..an artist first and fore foremost,ALWAYS AND FOREVER,forced to become a war mastermind by society, a poet that had to be king-OWW-
He threw a pillow at your face.
P.S: Steve finished his book and actually asked you for recommendations to buy more.He got Bucky one as well.Seeing them draw together was the most surreal thing ever,but it was worth it.Sam couldnt stop himself from taking a picture.Bucky threatened him and he claims to have it deleted,but you are pretty sure it is still there.Bucky never finds out how phones work.Life is good.
︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹
SOO..that was all folks.I hope you enjoyed reading.I wasn't very sure about this but I eventually decided to post it.Sorry for grammar and syntax mistakes,English is not my native language.Feedback is always welcome🩷
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mikachacha · 2 years ago
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Open relationship failure (Bada Lee x Model!Reader)
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Synopsis: After hearing the concept of open relationships, you and Bada decided to try it out since you thought that it was a good idea due to you busy with modeling while she's busy dancing and doing amazing choreography for lots of people. Instead of solving something, it just bothered you both and made each other extremly jealous.
Warnings: jealous Bada, language and steamy fic
(A/N: this idea came from my bestie @sun-nyy ❤ thanks bestie for helping my poor brain out 😫😫🫶🫶)
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🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸💮🌸
You and Bada both agreed to explore an open relationship set up since the both of you are extremely busy due to you being a model and her being a famous dancer and choreographer. You didn't really mind since you're sure about your feelings for Bada and she's the same. It's just that sometimes it gets a little lonely, especially when you have to go overseas for your job.
It didn't pose as a problem at first, everything is going smoothly. You even help each other pick out suitable dates and stuff but then the further you went down the rabbit hole, the more bothered you got. You would often get jealous when Bada's gone out on a date with someone else and she looked like having fun. It didn't sit right with you but you shrugged it off and deciding to enjoy yourself with this set up.
"Fucking hell.. That's the third date this week!?! I swear Y/N is doing this on purpose.." Bada is shaking from how jealous she is as she saw the pictures that you sent to her. You're on your third date that week while she's there, jealous and ready to rip someone's head off. Bada groaned and looked at your side of the bed, which is currently empty as you're working abroad. She's had enough of this situation, she can't stand being constantly jealous and going out with other people that's clearly not her. She'd swear on everything she could swear on that she'll take a break from her work, take you out on dates and shower you with lots of affection so you'll agree to stop this open relationship situation that the both of you agreed on.
When you came back home from your work overseas, you were surprised to see Bada waiting for you at the airport. Normally she'll ask one of her friends to come pick you up or have a cab wait for you. It's a rare occasion for her to come pick you due to her busy schedule but you're not complaining. You think it's so sweet of her to come see you.
"Hi baby.. I didn't expect you to come and pick me up." You smiled and gave her a huge hug which she returned. Bada did miss you a lot and wanted to see you immediately so she decided to clear up her schedule so she can personally pick you up at the airport.
"I just missed you too much, beautiful.. You've been gone for more than a week and I'm dying from sleeping alone on that huge bed." Bada replied, a bit too dramatically which made you laugh and kiss her cheek. You did miss her too and you're glad that you're finally home so you can spend time with her. You already asked your management to give you some break from work so you can focus on yourself and your relationship. They didn't have any problem with it so you're free until you want to accept projects again.
"I have some news for you when we get home and we also need to discuss something." you told her and she nodded her head. She have a feeling that what you're about to discuss is this open relationship situation and she's just hoping that you're gonna ask to put a stop to it.
Bada just ordered your favorite meals when you got home since you looked tired from your flight and she knows that you'd rather cuddle than going out to eat. So she let you change your clothes, grabbed the comfiest blanket you own and put your favorite movie on so you can relax together.
"You mentioned some news to me earlier, love. What is it?" Bada asked as you were snuggled in her arms. You're wearing one of her hoodies paired with pajama shorts which Bada found so adorable. You looked up at her and had that look like you just remembered the best news known to mankind.
"So I asked my agency if I can take a break from modeling for a bit and they agreed. I can go back any time that I want since they said I deserved it." you told her happily and she smiles, placing a kiss on your lips before sighing happily but then she remembered the dilemma she's having about this open relationship set up you had so she looks at you and held your hand before she started talking.
"Baby I know it's my idea in the first place but can we stop this open relationship set up that we have? I know you're having fun and all but it's draving me insane! I get really jealous when you're on a date with someone else.." Bada asked and your eyes widened before you playfully smacked her shoulder with your free hand.
"Ya! About time that you ask! You're not the only one who gets really jealous, you know? Especially when you went out with Howl. Like what the hell, Bada?!" you couldn't help your outburst because of your pent up jealousy, especially when Bada went out with Howl. People likes linking them up together and you did not like that one bit. Bada was shocked at your outburst but then her brows furrowed before squishing your cheeks together.
"Why you adorable little bunny.. You're jealous with Howl but you got me wanting to rip my hair off when you went out with Aiki, then Hachi, then Monika like what the actual fuck??? Miss ma'am, I swore on everything I could swear on that if you go on another date again, I'd personally collect your cute little ass from wherever you are and drag you home." you were equally shocked at Bada's outburst before rolling your eyes and just kissing her on the lips, although a bit aggressively as you're still jealous and upset. Bada didn't seem to mind and kissed you back with the same intensity. You didn't even notice that the movie already ended as you were way too busy making out with Bada.
When you pulled away to breathe, she began attacking your neck, sucking and nibbling on the skin to mark you as hers. You pushed her off and began doing the same, you didn't care if she had to go to work with hickeys all over her neck. Much better in your opinion so everyone knows she's yours and no one elses. Once the both of you calmed down, Bada placed a soft and loving kiss on your lips, a silent agreement on taking the open relationship set up from your relationship.
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sheinsidemymindvro · 7 months ago
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could you explain this entire situation because im only catching bits and pieces of it
im rlly confused :/
hey, so elusin is a woman aged 26. she makes music. at the start of september last year i followed her on ig. i didn't know it yet but she is psychic and by looking at a photo of me she used her ability to connect with my brain and she can see my vision, hear my thoughts and because psychics are in ones consciousness they can also manipulate electrical currents that we use to move around (how we function) they can send pulses to your body's muscles like an electrical massage machine and make the muscles tense. they use this to annoy me and to do things like give me headaches, and constipate me. elusin is a person that acts like she is nice but is a horrible ugly person and im not the first to be the victim of her and her sister and friends psychic attacks. my blog is made to bring awareness to my experience and to out her for what she is. ive decided that i will tell people around me about what ive learnt about psychic abilities. let me know if you wanna know more about other things ive learnt, when i followed her at the time i was a listener of her music and just started to learn how to make music. it has been a year since. for the first six months she kept silent on abusing me through non verbal abilities such as stopping me from sleeping, mimicking my voice to manipulate me into thinking her whispers were my thoughts. making my body tense to try and trick my brain into thinking its anxious. after six months of that she and her companion psychics went into full psychic attack, and i get all the abuse plus i have constant verbal attacks as long as I'm awake. elusin is obsessed with trying to destroy my mental health and has changed her sleep schedule to my own. she is in norway and i am in new zealand. she is a neet who receives money from her parents and lives in one of their spare houses. that is how she is able to do this to me regarding time. my music is what has kept her around for so long. she wants to copy it, but i have made it very difficult for her by raising awareness of what she is doing to me on the internet to leave records, aswell as posting demo versions of songs. I'm only a beginner and she has been making music for ten years. it sucks that my creative journey is starting like this but i have decided to stop making music until she leaves me alone so that she has nothing to gain by remaining in my mind. i have stopped completely for the last two or three months and am just waiting this out. she constantly taunts me with immature mockery and the easiest way to describe her is that she is 26 and is extremely stupid. what has stopped me from having my mental health damaged from this is realising she is an idiot. she revealed to me her identity because she thought i wouldn't talk about it. i deal with a 12 year old in a 26 year olds body is the shortest i could put it. I'm doing ok now, i've learnt to ignore her and the worst she does to me is keep me up night so that I'm tired at work. I'm staying strong and positive and focusing on other areas of my life right now. thank you for asking me about it, i'm here to share my story and what i've learnt about human psychic abilities. it sucks that she decided to use her ability to try and break people and make their lives worse. i know there must be a lot of psychics out there, and they aren't going to be like her. the things i describe are very real and if a psychic would read them they might be interested and check it out. once they connect to your consciousness, they feel your being as if they are you, and when that happens they know your thoughts as you think. which isn't so bad. when that happens they have access to also your memories and can look through them, its like how you are able to think about your own memories and know them. this means other psychics will become aware of what she is and what she has done. I feel like if there are any other idiot psychics going on psychic attack sprees for years, people are going to become aware that psychics exist, i hope to make a place where other people that have gone through similar experiences can talk.
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man-i-love-fanfiction · 16 days ago
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More headcanons as requested i could talk about him for hours and never stop i love this fic im gonna claw my skin off
- deepest sleeper. Hits the pillow and is knocked out for the next ten hours. Still has a horrible sleep schedule and is constantly tired
- The worst rbf in the world. He is aware of it and could not care less. He will silently judge you and he will side eye you hard
- Hands always shaking. Probably because he’s tired. Or the coffee maybe. So much coffee
- Writes SO MUCH. He’s reading constantly so he always has inspiration. Notebooks on notebooks of poetry and scrapped song lyrics
- Animal whisperer. Deer hang out in his backyard. He is simply that chill.
- Dresses as a vampire for halloween every single year. He has zero interest in coming up with a new costume
- He is so drama. Not in an obnoxious way but like he overreacts about everything and is almost always having an internal struggle with his logical mind
- Loves to cuddle but sleeping next to him is like a deathtrap. He’s always sleeping with a pillow or something wrapped very tightly in his arms and if you happen to be next to him when he falls asleep you might become the pillow. There is no escape you’ll have to pry yourself free
- Spaced out 50% of the time. So many thoughts in his mind
- Sometimes when he gets bored he’ll give himself a fun little tattoo somewhere. Hence the flower on his wrist that he did while work was slow one day. So he’s like covered in tiny doodles
Anyway yes thank you goodbye
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as i'm writing this im listening to dangerous woman on repeat. look what you've done to me
i feel you know him better than i do right now because how are all of these SPOT ON. i love all of these i'm replying one by one.
- he sleeps like a fucking LOG. probably snores a little too. this is also for any conditions, he could drink coffee at 10 and be asleep at 10:30 he just Works Like That
- HE JUDGES. only if it's like morally wrong, but when it is his RBF is horrible. LETHAL side eye.
- i imagine he's jittery, but only when his hands aren't occupied. once he has a pencil or tattoo gun in hand, you've never seen someone with steadier hands
- he is probably the only grown man that consistently buys pencils as often as he does. always writing or doodling or maybe even journaling when push comes to shove
- animals LOVE this man. he walks into his backyard and birds land on his shoulder like he's a disney princess.
- YES. he gets like the GOOD fake teeth though, he goes all out. and he will find a way to be a vampire in some way or another. one year a girlfriend wanted to do matching outfits so they were Bella and Edward from Twilight. he has burned all photographic evidence of this.
- it's a consequence of the overthinking, definitely, but he IS the drama. and he easily gets invested with other people because he's personable in his own way so it only gets more complicated
- cuddling him means he is holding on tight and NEVER LETTING GO. and if you do manage to escape in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom he just looks up with big eyes and goes "🥺🥺 where r you going 🥺🥺"
- at least one a day alex has to wave a hand in front of his face and just go "earth to Andrew! anyone in there?" so many thoughts in that brain of his.
- DEFINITELY. it started as a stick-and-poke fascination in college, and when he discovered he was good at it, that's when he decided tattoos were the way to go.
i love how much you love this fic, please never stop 🖤
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sunnynwanda · 2 years ago
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Friends & Enemies
The rain hits hard against their burning skin as Hero rushes down the street. Their clothes are wet, their eyes - even more so, but the rain has nothing to do with the latter. Today was a record day, and they… they were the champion.
How many people can disappoint a person in one day?
The stakes weren't particularly high, given that Hero had two and a half friends in total. The half being their new sidekick, who turned out to be a double agent that had infiltrated with the sole purpose of revealing Hero's identity and making them an easy target for the criminal minds of the city. Turns out, their parents were criminals that Hero had arrested.
They sigh loudly. I didn't even kill them, so what's the drama about?
But that was only the half of the harsh truth. The other two 'friends' of theirs, as Hero found out just now, had their allegiance changed by the mayor. Money can buy anything in this city, the man had claimed with the most disgusting of smiles. Even you can see it.
Hero could. Yet they refused to become a pawn in the game led by the highest officials. What devastated them most was the realisation that all of their hard work had been in vain, always drifted in the wrong direction. They felt like a clown that tried their best to do good but ended up as laughing stock for those using them.
They managed to escape with a gunshot that grazed their skin and a deeper wound to their self-esteem - the second one, despite not being physical hurt significantly more. Everything in their life had been a ruse, leaving them a puppet that never knew of their strings. Not one person had been honest with them, yet they were constantly blamed for not trusting anyone with their identity. Turns out that was the right call after all.
They cross the yard and sneak into their apartment building and up the stairs, careful not to attract attention. Their roommate has a night shift today, so they don't bother shutting the door to their room as they stroll into the bathroom.
Damp clothes discarded on the floor, they return to their bedroom, plopping face down on the bed with a satisfied groan when a familiar voice drags them out of their sleepy thoughts. "Anything wrong?"
Hero could as well fly in front of their roommate - that's how high they jump up. "Why are you home?"
Their voice is panicked despite knowing full well they sneaked in unnoticed.
"Why, I can't be at my own apartment now?" Amusement seeps through their roommate's voice.
"That's not what I meant." Hero props themselves up on their arms to see their interlocutor. "Aren't you working today?"
Hero begs them not to question their reasons for knowing a roommate's schedule so well. They don't. "There was a power shortage in the city, so we closed. Have you seen that shower outside?"
Hero almost growls. Even their bones are cold, muscles stiff as if the damp clothes are still touching their skin. They get up, moving to sit on the couch. Their roommate follows behind, a concerned look touching their eyebrows. "What's up?"
"Nothing." Hero hates the way their voice sounds so whiny. They don't want to talk about this. "I'm tired and cold after walking under that rain."
Their roommate nods, searching for a blanket before returning to their place. "Listen. I might be dense in many aspects, but this ain't one." They claim, watching Hero intently. "What happened to leave you all moody?"
"I'm not moody!" The side eye says everything their roommate doesn't utter. So Hero repeats. "Am. Not." They sigh, letting their head drop back. "I'm disappointed."
"In?" Their roommate is restless, which would be irritating if only they weren't so endearing.
"In everything. And everyone." The room is quiet for a moment. Their breathing and the rattle of the raindrops are the only sounds. "But most of all - in myself."
"Hey, I'm not sure what it is, but don't be too harsh on yourself." Their roommate starts. Hero can barely hear them through the sleep haze. "You're so overworked a mistake was bound to happen."
Hero smiles at the softness in their voice. Maybe the count of their friends wasn't correct after all. Maybe, it should have been three and a half. Except they never talked with their roommate unless it was necessary.
"Is it that bad?" They ask, shifting on the couch to face them while talking.
"To the point that I'm doubting if I'm on the right side." Hero blurts out without thinking.
"Of… what?" They freeze. Both of them. Hero can feel a chill run down their spine. Shit.
"Forget it." Is all they can muster, knowing full well it's not going to satisfy their interrogator.
"Wait, no." The shakiness in their voice should be alarming, Hero thinks. Yet they cannot bring themselves to care. "You can't say something like that and then request me to forget it. What are you talking about?" Hero shakes their head, moving to get up when their roommate places a hand on their forearm. "I have a feeling this isn't about selling ice cream anymore."
Hero knows this is a bad idea. They know they are going to regret it. But the loneliness consumes their entire being, and honestly… can it get any worse at this point? They don't know. What they do know is they want to pour their heart out to the most random person in their life. Well, at least they are still in their life, unlike their so-called friends.
Ah, fuck it. "I'm Hero." They say matter-of-factly. They can sense the breathing pattern of their interlocutor accelerating. "And today, I discovered that everyone I trusted is a traitor."
Their roommate is gaping. Appropriate reaction. They keep chattering to ease the tension.
"I know it's shocking, and I shouldn't have unloaded this on you. I'm sorry." They shake their head, already remorseful. Too big of a secret to share with a neighbour. "Forget I said anything. Let's think I was drunk."
"No, no, no, no. You cannot backtrack from this. Not after this kind of a revelation." They sound panicked as if Hero's identity matters more than it presumably should. They pause, looking blindly into the darkness of the room. "You're Hero? You're Hero! God damn it, my roommate is…"
"And this is exactly why I never told anyone before." Hero interrupts their monologue of thoughts with their own. "Shoulda kept doing that."
"To be honest," their roommate starts, focusing on the conversation. Their mind is reeling, but Hero has no need of knowing that. "You are on the wrong side."
"Huh?" Hero turns, looking at the flushed face of their newfound friend. "Are you a Villain apologist or something?"
"Suppose I am." They admit with a barely concealed smirk. "Can you blame me for it?"
Hero stops. Entirely. Their brain collapses for a long moment before they can restart it.
"Are you alright?" Worry laces their roommate's voice when they touch Hero's arm again.
"Yeah." Hero squeezes out, licking their lips to collect their thoughts. "Apart from realising I was looking for the enemy in the wrong place this whole time." They shake their head, rubbing their eyes with the palms of their hands. "They're not the evil one, are they? Villain."
"Well, no? I like to call them a villain with a cause." The claim makes Hero chuckle.
"That's quite fitting." They accept, wondering what their nickname would be. A loser with no brain? Their roommate offers them a crooked smile before getting up. Dazed, Hero doesn't realize they are thinking out loud when they say. "The whole leather aesthetic makes more sense now."
"Hey, what's wrong with my aesthetic?" The words roll off their lips before they can stop them. They bite their tongue, but it's too late.
"What did you just say?" Hero is staring at them with the widest eyes they have ever seen on a human.
They know they fucked up. Doesn't mean they cannot try to salvage the situation. In the dumbest way possible. "N-nothing."
Shit. Shit. Shit.
"Ooh, you can't backtrack from this one." The excitement of the revelation tingles their fingertips. And then it dawns on Hero. "Damn. You're my hot archnemesis? You?! Out of everyone?!"
"Excuse me, I'm your what?" Villain's voice reaches an uncomfortably high pitch on the last word, scratching the back of their throat. Hero beams at how flustered Villain is by their unintended confession.
"I do think I was on the wrong side." They admit, standing up to face their nemesis without any masks in the way. "Not anymore."
"I'm still not over the fact you called me hot, but…" Villain starts. They laugh when Hero rolls their eyes at that. "Want some hot chocolate?"
"By all means, yes!" Hero sits by the bar of their shared kitchen, watching their foe-turned-friend fuss around, making hot chocolate with adorable smiley marshmallows. They still feel like an idiot for being blind all along. But, the disappointment eating at them dissipates with every little gulp.
Sometimes what the city needs is not a noble hero to save the day. Sometimes it's a villain with a cause, ready to dirty their hands to fix the problem at the root. Once and for all. And Hero? Hero has chosen their side.
Masterlist
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max-nico · 2 years ago
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I just wanna let you know that your writing is living rent free in my mind and is actively fueling my sonic obsession ♥️♥️♥️/pos
If you're still doing them do you have any headcanons for Knuckles Sonic and Shadow? (the blorbos)
AHHHHH thank you sm sm !!! 🫶🏾🫶🏾
I'm unsure if you mean separate or as a team/working together so I'll try to squirrel in a little of both. I hope this is to your liking 🔥
As a team
I'm pretty sure any team with Sonic on it is just referred to as team Sonic ngl, I don't know what they would be called anyway? Just bc they have so many conflicting traits
They'd probably end up with something generic like team Force or smthn
They all have a music preference but don't mind the music the others listen to
They bond mostly by beating each other up. It's all in good fun. Kinda.
All three of them are quiet one on one but are nothing except overstimulating when together
Sharing Tails is actually the worst thing to ever happen to them, as well as Tails. They fight constantly. All the time.
They rarely ever actually say things that would cause emotional damage, and they're all horrible at apologizing, but they're all learning together. Since everyone understands hating emotional vulnerability so well they cut each other some slack
Normally only two people are fighting at the same time, allowing the other one to act as a mediator. Though, three-way fights aren't unheard-of, and they usually get over it after punching each other a bunch instead of talking through it
Shadow and Knuckles take great joy in teaming up against Sonic when he gets too cocky
Group costume except they all showed up as the same thing on accident and started brawling because of it
Argue like brothers. Everyone is tired of them. Everyone. However, when it comes down to it if you upset one of them you upset all of them. Especially if you upset Sonic, the other two have way less restraint than him. You will get jumped I fear
None of them keep track of anything. They lose things constantly. Important documents? Yeah they're gone. Why'd you even give them those? At this point it's your fault you know how they are. Shadow is the only one with an excuse (I headcanon Shadow still suffers from short term memory problems many years after his not-really death)
None of their sleep schedules line up. Ever. Someone is always running on empty and is cranky all day.
Separate
Sonic is an early bird and takes naps throughout the day. Shadow is a night owl and doesn't really need to sleep as much as the average person. Knuckles goes to sleep super super early and has the sleep schedule of an old man
Shadow spends a lot of time trying to figure out newer technology. Despite being the ultimate lifeform it just really doesn't come naturally to him
Knuckles is the same way except he doesn't care, and only really tries when Tails asks him to
Sonic ends up being shorter than most if not all his friends and is very salty about it
Sonic and Knuckles are audhd
Shadow is autistic OCD <- projecting
Shadow's house is covered in incense. Every room has one. They're all lavender scented.
Shadow hates change, Sonic has mixed feelings
Knuckles is a chronic headache haver. Like no wonder he's always in a bad mood, do you know how hard it is to get Advil when you live on a floating rock
It's okay, Knuckles has tons of natural/organic remedies for most sickness anyway
Sonic is really good at charades
Shadow is super sentimental and refuses to admit it, he has lots of old mementos that he simply refuses to acknowledge but can't bring himself to throw away
Knuckles is fluent in multiple dead languages
Sonic and Knuckles are both super into geography, one is way better than the other one at it but you can choose which is which lol
Knuckles likes grapes but can't stand any of the faux grape flavors of processed foods. He wants grape flavor not purple flavor.
On the same wavelength, he doesn't really f/w processed food in general. He spends most of his time foraging and making his own foods from scratch, most processed foods make him sick
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rodolfoparras · 10 months ago
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Fuck you Tumblr, let the man spot naked men 🖕
But no, the cat emoji was a joke about the TikTok cat edit I sent 😭😭 was definitely talking about you
I'm okay, I've also been sleeping a lot but I'm just tired asf and my sleeping schedule keeps shifting. My friend that I met online is coming to visit, so I'm gonna meet him for the first time, sometime next week and I've got to clean and do so much yard work 💔💔 worst part of prep
There is actually a reason Muriel lives with a wolf 😊 when he was a gladiator, they would throw in different people and creatures for him to fight and kill. They sent Ianna in and they had a connection and refused to fight each other and escaped together. And no, she does not forget him, I think because of the connection
For mc, they do forget him but he gives them a herb I think, I can't quite remember. But it helps them remember him as long as they carry it on them.
He's also 6'10?? Brother is ginormous
-🐧
I can completely understand messing up your sleeping schedule during the summer time. It messes the brain up sm bc there are no queues you should go to sleep when it’s constantly light outside 😭
Also hello!! That sounds like sm fun sugar!!! I hope you have a wonderful time and I also hope the weather is on your side so you can actually do actives without passing out from the heat or getting soaked in summer rain😭
Also yard work? That is so impressive sugar!! Genuinely I admire everyone who has green hands because god knows I walk into a well cared garden and act like I’m dealing with a Math equation
And hello that’s such a sweet thing! I’m glad he at least has someone who’s not only by his side but also understands what he’s been through and can relate to him! Also now I’m thinking of Mc losing the herb and getting real anxious and apologetic about it even though stuff like that can happen and boom love confession
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cinsynate · 3 months ago
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Ok. This is going to be a nuanced as fuck vent text and I don't have anyone following me I don't think that isn't capable of employing some basic critical thinking but disclaimer up front regardless: I'll be discussing the concept *of* self harm without actually going into specifics, tl;dr I'm not doing it myself if you wanna keep scrolling
Before I get to the nuance I want to acknowledge that self harm is terrible, and I literally can't imagine what someone suffering from it is going through. I've never been there exactly, and like I mentioned above I'm not now, but I in no way think it's a walk in the park!
What this post is about though, is my individual experience as someone suffering from terrible terrible depression and anxiety that are seriously impacting my quality of life, that has no desire to bring physical harm to myself in any way but is nevertheless continuously doing emotional self sabotage and otherwise ruining my own life by getting in my own way.
I had a phone call with my doctor recently where I was finally brutally honest about how bad my symptoms were. That I was too anxious to go to class, or even leave my apartment most days, how I spend several days barely even leaving bed, my sleep schedule an utter mess as my life passes me by unlived. I don't derive the same joy from the things I'm suppose to like, I can't accomplish my goals, and I constantly feel like I'm letting everyone around me down. I have no energy, I will skip entire days of eating, dishes piled up in my sink because I can't bring myself to wash them in order to cook and I've both worked through the remaining easy food in my cupboards and can't afford more food to be delivered.
I know I'm not a special case, this situation will probably even resonate with others, especially on the mental illness website. What kills me though is this: One of her first questions, understandable and legally required of her in this instance, was to ask me if I had any self harm or suicidal ideation. It's the common concern for someone like me, but the answer is honestly no. Maybe it's just that I'm a wimp, but I'm way too scared of death and don't particularly enjoy the idea of hurting myself at the end of the day, so it's never been a problem for me. I want to live, but what I'm doing doesn't currently feel like I am living, so much as not dying.
Great, so she's reassured I'm not at risk of immediately killing myself, but then once I've laid all this out for her she says she's referring me to a psychiatrist to discuss medication plans. Awesome! This is unfortunately probably necessary for me, but apparently she couldn't help but add on she was referring me as a moderate, borderline severe case of depression, and I couldn't help but sit there wondering what the hell in her books justifies an unquestionably severe label.
Because when she went through her questionnaire and asked me the appropriate questions to make that decision, I gave her the blunt truth to each one, which struck me as the worst possible answers as she read them out. So the only metric I can think of that I failed to meet was the self harm one and. Is that a prerequisite now for severe depression? My life feels utterly hopeless and devoid of any joy or meaning and I can barely take care of myself. I may not be actively harming myself with intention but my body is going without proper sleep or food or joy thanks to my own inability to provide for it.
In this case I'm getting the referral either way, which definitely removes some of the bite of what I'm saying next, but it feels like the medical system only cares about mental health when it's literally already too late, and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of needing to scramble to make sure my insurance will cover therapy, or worse yet the adhd clinic she also referred me to which will cost $2200 canadian dollars to go to when I may not even be diagnosed with it ultimately. I'm tired of always being forgotten or ignored or only afforded the bare minimum of care because I'm not actively holding my own life as hostage to get people to pay attention to me, and no I don't think that's the reason people are out there hurting themselves, but it feels like that's what the system sees it as. And the system seeing it that way feels like how a lot of those people are driven to that point in the first place.
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skinni-girls-eat-books · 4 months ago
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Monday, December 30th, 2024!
8:15am: Just took like ten stressful minutes to unclog the toilet and I immediately had to poop again but it's fine now. Perfect timing 💀I really thought I broke that bitch
9:43am: lol rotting in bed. Nervous about my financial aid, kinda want to see how little I can spend in January and still have a wonderful time. More free things, more cheap house shows, more bringing your own food/ alcohol. Ugh so many goals lol we'll see what sticks. Had a peach seltzer thing today 45 cal. Don't even know why I'm counting cals bc I'm gonna blow it up with all the meat and cheese I'm eating 😅
10:36am: Rum punch with meat and potato bowl 😋😋😋😋 I want to watch a murder mystery but I really want it to be a good one lol or something scary I haven't seen before. Craving novelty ughh
Midnight: Lol I feel like a loser when I start to look at all the places I've never been to before here. I've done quite a few things, but not a lot of the nature stuff that is very available here. What can I say, I moved here for the city life and might end up staying for the nature vibes lol maybe I'm just getting old... Mid 20s is a weird time...
I really spent 7 hrs today basically just looking up shit to do.... Idk why it makes me feel like I wasted a day but like it's really hard to find things to do???? Why are events and places like hidden. Like they don't want people to know about shit or go anywhere or do anything. I don't understand. Literally probably won't even go to half of it but it's ok. Plus just the sinking feeling that I'm trying to avoid studying and shit like that.... Ugh I'm so over school like jesus christ who let me do this to myself. Ridiculous lol 🙃 it's fine, I'm fine, these holidays in the middle of the week are kicking my ass. Can't ever just have normal fucking days off. Seriously. Never. Only having time off when everything revolves around a holiday and everything is closed and everyone expects you to be somewhere doing something specific...... sucks... sorry for being a grinch but it's true. I just want normal days offffffff. Why why why is it so normal for me to not have a fucking schedule. This isn't good or healthy like wtffddd this isn't how adults live. People plan vacations, plan their routines, days off, fucking ugh. My life is too random and I'm just kinda done with this. I want to work a regular schedule so I can have a regular flow of energy. Ok it's like people binge eating when they don't have regular access to food except my body BINGE SLEEPS because I don't know when I'll be able to just rest again 💀😭 I have been stuck BINGE SLEEPING on my days off for a whole month now. My sleep schedule is fucked and I'm constantly tired :( but at the same time very well rested like I could do something if someone invited me somewhere for example. But my default now is like: OH HI, NOTHING URGENTLY REQUIRING ALL YOUR TIME FOCUS AND ENERGY?? GREAT, TIME TO SLEEP FOR 20 HOURS AND WASTE ALL YOUR FREE TIME!! Not even getting out of bed to eat or shower like my body has been in sleep starvation mode. Fuck me man. Welp.
I'm glad I wrote this down bc binge sleeping is exactly the right way to describe what I've been going through. And I guess this particular moment of panic/ feeling like I wasted the day, is equivalent to purging a binge, because I'm clearly fucking myself more for staying up until 2am just *because I slept all day*. Wowowwwwwww fuck I love journaling and I just solved my problem! Fuck I'm dumb and prone to self destructive behavior.
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tsukinagas · 5 months ago
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argh ive been suffering from severe exhausting for a so long and it's getting really frustrating. it's preventing me from doing anything and it sucks because i want to be productive and normal but i can't since im just so tired, sometimes to the point where i'm unable to keep my eyes open. i fixed my sleep schedule and this persists. i sleep for 7 hours or more and i don't feel refreshed in any way sort of way, i just continue to feel tired. coffee doesn't help me. i'm just constantly stuck in a state where i cant do ANYTHING because of this and it's contributing to my severe demotivation to exist. i only feel fine if i sleep for more than 12 hours but that's impossible to achieve consistently. listening to music loudly sometimes helps me and wakes me up a bit and makes me feel functional and alive but it doesn't last for long and i don't want to possibly worsen my already bad hearing by listening to loud music all the time, especially when the effect is not guaranteed
so far ive spent 2? years like this and i'm unable to figure out any way to fix it or cope. i hate being like this so much lol
on top of all this my anxiety has also gotten so much worse and its not letting me have any sort of conversation with anyone other than my 2 close friend lmfaooo
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