#it's like. a layer on top of the usual muscle pain. i can't really describe it. entirely in my torso too. my ribs shoulders and lumbar
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hmm.
#thinking about illness.#kinda detached to it right now but probably will feel some grief later; but i get the feeling i'm not going to 'come right' from this stint#cognitive effects are present. i feel feverish all the time. i'm breathless so frequently#memory is effected. i have to plan my speech even more than usual and i'm catching verbal slips more than usual too#but i'm also taken out significantly by things that weren't an issue beforehand. i could do multiple lectures and generally be okay#but now one means i have to rest for a while which was the case for me in 2021/22#i also feel less mobile. shaky and uncoordinated. if i move quickly i feel like less of an immediate fall risk#but i'm more dizzy and less stable standing. i need to sit down more. i couldn't stand at all while cooking the other night.#i also just. have a different kind of pain? like. i'm used to joint and muscle and nerve pain. this is. different? which is weird#it's like. a layer on top of the usual muscle pain. i can't really describe it. entirely in my torso too. my ribs shoulders and lumbar#might see if a bath helps it later.#there's a part of me that is saying i need to drop a paper (no feelings about this at present. i expect i will feel gutted later though)#just because it's not sustainable for me right now.#not dropping poetry paper. that's good. but classics is just a little too much right now#and yeah. i dunno. generally no feelings on this right now. just. musing. <- has been unmedicated all week
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