#it's just... I think a lot about the last part of Mauvier's quote... even if exaggerated I just... she was only a kid...

[ruinakete]

daisy : did your muse ever feel as though their innocence had been lost ? what moment in their life could be described as the end of their innocence ?

BOTANICAL HEADCANONS ・ accepting! ( asked also by @sorcerese! )

these are only two questions but man, the mental gymnastics I had to do to properly articulate my thoughts on this...

first off, as of the current year / time of interpretation, Zephia would not feel as though her innocence had been lost. in fact, it's probably fair to say that she doesn't even think about her childhood or the past, in general, at all. this isn't in the sense that she purposefully refrains from reminiscing but she likely forgot the source of her emotions because of how long she's been alive. and yes, while Zelestia remembers her childhood, the difference is that Zephia had been in the service of a Fell Dragon who was not against brainwashing subjects for better productivity ( ie; the Fell Church, Veyle, etc ). the likelihood of any of her memories being slowly pushed to the back of her head to maintain a stricter focus is high.

also, in her ( Zelestia's ) A rank support with Mauvier, it says:

Mauvier: I have heard that her draconic instincts were abnormally powerful, even for a Mage Dragon. It is said that her home village was destroyed by an uncontrolled surge of her magic. Some go so far as to say that if Sombron was not the Fell Dragon, then she would be. Zelestia: No, that couldn’t possibly…

with Zephia being the catalyst of the event that left her vulnerable to Sombron's teachings, it wouldn't be surprising that her body gradually made her forget the trauma associated with her adolescent years. besides, her mindset is heavily focused on the future instead of what led up to it. so, to answer the first question, no, she does not feel or think about her lost innocence at all, as it no longer matters to her; the past cannot be changed, so why think about it?

but let it be known that her innocence was long lost before she began her life as Sombron's servant.

what do I mean by that?

assuming that the mage dragon tribes are tightly - knit communities based on familial hierarchies, freedom ( in the sense of knowing everything and wanting to learn without fear of judgment ), and moral standards ( ie; outright refusing to side with Sombron in the Fell Xenologue despite the power he held against them ), it would be humiliating for Zephia as a young dragon to have no control over or idea of what to do with all of the magic she's been born with. while some would be fond of the power, there would also be plenty of others that would worship or fear her. so knowing that, despite practicing restlessly day and night as the other younger mage dragons played to their heart's content, it would be her magic that destroyed the village would absolutely traumatize her.

the realization that she would never be able to redeem her magic for a good purpose of equal significance would promptly be the end of her childhood curiosity / purity.

( though, I can see her innocence already being strained beforehand since she would have been placed on a pedestal above the other mage dragons her age simply because of her draconic abilities; thus learning at a pace that would gradually rid her of her child self and open her eyes to see the world differently )