#it's just the fact that people are liking and then not reblogging which gets irksome

[runawaymun]

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[jotatetsuken]

He Left Too Early (Tetsurō Kuroo x Reader)

Summary: You had a good friend that you'd lost touch with for years on end, and you receive one call about that friend that you were not able to process at all, at least by yourself. You knew that you needed to call someone that would be able to comfort you the most and that someone would be Tetsuro Kuroo.

Warning: Reader's going through an angsty situation (friend's death), there will be fluff, mentions of anxiety, panic attacks and crying. Please lmk if I've missed any other trigger warnings. You can block #shyna angst if it gets too much.

Shyna's Seiyuu Birthday Celebration

Number of words: 1482

Tagging: @akaashi-todorki @cuz-like-why-not @quirrrky @mrskenmakozume @ohtobiors @hyeque @jordyn-degas

Let me know here if you want to be tagged in more content like this :)

A/N: The Seiyuu birthday celebration week is still going on, but, when I wanted to post about Kuroo, it was kind of hard to think about what to write actually. I mean, he may not be my first Haikyuu crush but he definitely was someone that helped me get over a lot of pain from my previous relationships, and reading certain fanfics and headcanons made me fall in love with him, more, to a point where I'd ended up writing my first ever fanfic, dedicated to him. Last year, I'd learned that a good friend of mine passed away from a heart attack and he was 24. I didn't know how else to grieve, I cried and sobbed, and then, this story comes out. So, to be told that I was jumping on the I love Kuroo bandwagon just to copy someone, discredits the personal experience I underwent in loving him and it hurts (long story lol). Anyway, I miss you VT. You left too early. Also, anything related to Haikyuu (the character, the setup) belongs to Haruichi Furudate but the storyline is mine, so reblogs, likes, and comments are highly appreciated <3 This was cross posted from Quotev (attached the link too 😄)

Barbara: Hey.

Y/N: Oh, hey. What’s up?

Barbara: I don’t know if you heard about Victor?

When someone mentions the phrase, “I don’t know if you heard,” I feel a big sense of numbness in my chest. Because of course, there’s a negative connotation to it. And here, Barbara’s talking about Victor Tyler. My junior in school. Someone I’d called my younger brother. He’d been there through my tough times in high school and had never left my side even when people avoided me. I tried as much as I could to be there for him. In fact, it was him through which I got to know Barbara Boyd, another junior. She was kind and so was he. Their eyes were so full of life and joy that they’d inspire me to keep going in life. I’d last met Victor 4 years ago in a café to catch up with him. He seemed excited about what was coming in the future. I wish I could’ve been there for him more often. But life got busier. Wait? Why am I overthinking again? Surely, it’s because he’s getting married or something…did he?

Y/N: Wait. What happened to him?

No reply. Okay. Something is wrong.

Y/N: Barbara. Tell me. Barbara.

Barbara: He passed away. Last night.

Silence. All I could hear was silence. My ‘baby brother’ was gone. Guilt was seeping in, so was disbelief. This cannot happen. Wasn't he online just a couple of hours ago?  I wasn’t in touch with him for so long. I wish I was.  No, this can’t be happening. Surely this is a joke.

Y/N: Wait. How?! What happened!!?

Barbara: Cardiac arrest.

My brain couldn’t process anything. Guilt was starting to dwell and sadness was trying to find its way in. I needed to know what had happened. Barbara later called to explain the situation and what had happened. She was told that his heart had given away at night. He’d had heart issues for quite some time when he was a kid. (And I barely knew about this, although I could see him struggling with physical exertion even at a young age.) He even underwent surgery and he was slowly recovering. What was more irksome is that he was finally happy in every aspect. He seemed to be settling down in every way. But, he wouldn’t get to experience his happy ending ever. Why is life sometimes so unfair? Barbara had found out through a friend who posted a story on social media and that's when I was slowly starting to come to terms with it. I wanted to be strong for Barbara, so I tried holding my tears. But later on, after hanging up, I immediately called Kuroo ‘cause I needed to hear his voice.

The Tetsurō Kuroo. Yeah, the Nekoma High Volleyball Team captain. Although we’d graduated from different schools and started working in different places, it was quite recently that we started dating. We were getting serious. I was able to share stories about my life and he, about his. We'd experienced a roller coaster of emotions together. And while as a friend and a boyfriend he could get really cheeky with his sense of humor, he always provided a space for me to be vulnerable with him, and he’d not hesitate to be vulnerable with me. Hence, for this moment, I needed to hear him.  I was trying to process it all, but I couldn’t do it alone. I needed him.

Kuroo: “Hey, kitten. What’s up, everything okay?”

Y/N: “Hey babe, remember I once told you of a close friend from school who was like a younger brother?”

Kuroo: “Oh, yeah. Victor was it?”

Y/N: “Yes, babe. Umm…he...he passed away.”

I could hear a gasp and some sniffles from the other side. Kuroo didn’t know Victor, but he knew my adoration for that boy, and I could tell he was crying. For me. Because I wasn’t able to. I could also hear some noises in the background. Traffic maybe?

“Kitten,” he sniffs, "are you at home?”

“Um, yes. Why?”

“Okay, I'm driving to your place now. Look out from your balcony, in about 10 seconds.”

“Huh-“ I could see in a couple of seconds, that he was there in his car waiting for me to sit next to him. I locked all my bedroom doors except the balcony one and found a way to sneak out and sit on the shotgun seat of his car. It's not that my parents were strict or anything. On the contrary, they were the best support system I could've asked for. However, it was weird that the environment I was in made me feel claustrophobic like I needed air to breathe. So, no sooner than I got to sit in his car than we drove around for some time, stopping at a beach nearby in the night because he knew how much I like the sound of waves.

The car ride was filled with silence mixed with some calming music in the background. Kuroo, initially being his introverted self, was aware of how everyone acted around him and as soon as he came out of his shell, he made it a point to stay attuned to people's emotions, so that he wouldn't lose touch with who he was. This was what made me fall in love with him.

We parked the car close to the beach. The sound of waves crashing onto the rocks seemed to have a calming effect on me. I looked into Tetsuro’s eyes and there didn’t seem to be any light in them like he always did. They seemed blank, staring into nothingness, but he had to steel himself up for me. His small, warm smile then sent me to tears, as if he was telling me it’s okay to cry. Dang you, Tetsurō Kuroo. He hugged my disheveled self and kept my face on his chest so that I could bury myself in it.

“Babe,” I start to vent out, “he was just a kid. He left this world too early. He didn’t have to die of an effing cardiac arrest. He was..*sniff* so *sniff* young…oh baby, this is so not fair. I wish I could tell him how much I loved him. But all I can say is that I miss him and I’m sorry that I wasn’t in touch with him...I..I..I didn't know he had a girlfriend until *sniff* the day he died. How am I supposed to *sniff* encourage her *sniff* when I am unable to *sniff* come to terms with it *sniff*...I...I.."

“I know, babe. I know. Kitten, I have a feeling he knows even if he’s not here in the world right now. My love, I’m sorry for the pain you’re in. This, however, doesn’t change the fact that there have been instances where you’ve made an impact in his life and he’s made an impact in yours. Focus on that moments. Make him proud. Don’t just tell your baby brother you love and miss him, show him. He’ll receive the message. And as for his girlfriend, if you know her, which you probably do,” Kuroo smiled again as he patted my head with his hand, lifted it, and said, "I know that you'll find a way to comfort her even if she doesn't see it that way. You've experienced loss before, and you will again, but these experiences should make you stronger and help people in need." He brought my face close to him, kissed me on my forehead, and then kissed me on my lips. It was a kiss of sincerity, of protection, of pure love. Something which I was craving for right now. He then hugged me, letting me bury my face in his chest again, as Fix You by Coldplay was playing in the stereo of his car.

“I’ll try, love. I’ll try. Hope you’ll be proud of me, Victor. Someday.”

Victor was one of the boys who knew about my struggles with relationships and I was waiting to tell him about Kuroo, but he was gone. He’d have been proud to know that there was finally someone to be my equal. And the girl that Victor left behind? I can’t imagine what’s going through Hannah’s head and heart. I knew her in school as well, and if I’d get to meet her, I’d offer her a hug and assure her that he’s with her wherever he is. A friend of mine told me this, "There is no right or wrong way to grieve, there's no timeline for grief, and it looks different from day to day." So, I'd tell her to take time to grieve as much as she needs to and I'd offer to be there for her whenever she needed something. That’s the only way she can cope. That’s the only way we can cope. By being there for each other.

© Shyna 2022

[themoomoorn]

Jeralt Eisner Stinky

Related to my previous reblog, feel free to parouse as to why I agree that Jeralt is a bad dad, and the fact that the devs’ lack of a continuity checker made him look worse than the director likely intended him to.

Let’s count the ways:

- Went a very melodramatic 180 regarding Rhea when Byleth - who was resuscitated from friggin’ death - wasn’t behaving like a “normal baby.”  Now to be fair, Rhea was too mum for her own good and a baby that’s not very reactive to stimuli is very concerning in real life, but real life ties lose some of their weight due to Byleth’s wonky parentage and the reason for her lack of heartbeat.  Jeralt is also generally perturbed by Byleth not being “normal” for quite a while, which is pretty shitty of him anyway.  

- As a response to the above, it’s implied that he was the one who set the monastery on fire when absconding with Byleth in the night, a fire that was reported to have caused some serious damage and destroyed a lot of books.

- There’s also the fact that he was aware that Sitri herself suffered from a flat affect and struggled to emote more expressively at first, and he himself is pretty emotionally constipated.  It’d be more shocking if Byleth grew up suddenly acting like Alois. 

- He loved Sitri for basically being a cute little innocent nun, likely seeing her as ideal housewife material.  I know I’m using the term “housewife” in a damning fashion, but he loves her for some seriously basic, surface-level reasons.  Plus the whole “getting her to emote and smile more” bit?  Granted, Claude’s relationship with Byleth grows in a somewhat similar fashion, but Claude also easily adheres the least to 3H’s “avatar worship” and he doesn’t just become fond of Byleth due to her smiling and getting cuter because of that.  You can’t say the same of Jeralt and Sitri.

- While one can’t entirely damn someone for raising a child in the mercenary lifestyle due to the setting - We got a Lord and his sister being raised under similar circumstances - The sheer ignorance that Jeralt raised Byleth with is pretty damning if the gameplay/narrative element (Byleth being ignorant for the sake of player projection and exposition) is taken away.  It’s one thing to not necessarily be aware of the ins and outs of the major religion of an entire continent, but Byleth doesn’t even have much basic knowledge of Fodlan’s three countries, or any country outside of it, although most of Fodlan doesn’t either. There is also more damning text, including how Jeralt handled all of their job logistics and didn’t bother to put in any incentive to have Byleth possibly learn to inherit or learn the ins and outs of the company.  The quest where you get Jeralt’s old tactics primer also reveals that he didn’t bother to teach Byleth basic battle tactics either. 

- Where the heck was Byleth when Jeralt was in Sauin Village???  Not even Byleth herself remembers.  And while it’s heartwarming to see that Jeralt still cares for Leonie after reuniting with her (With people who bash Leonie for her fixation on him naturally ignoring this), he seems to put more effort in bonding with her than his own child.  She’s also the one who winds up inheriting his company, although that can also be attributed to Byleth being presumed dead when she does.

- He doesn’t really say much when it comes to Byleth’s “Ashen Demon” title, which is notably one of the very few things that genuinely upsets Byleth prior to her becoming more emotive.  And while it’s hinted that Byleth herself didn’t express interest in interacting with other people casually, Jeralt wasn’t exactly helping matters in that department either, exacerbating their isolation from others.  Heroes has the default Female Byleth note that she can’t tell a friend from an ally due to how she grew up.

- The man’s a raging alcoholic who performed some pretty stupid, deadly shit, including a trick that had a high chance of beheading Alois.  His treatment of Alois is also pretty deplorable, as is the fact that he has a slew of unpaid bar tabs that get shouldered by Alois and then forced onto Leonie.  

- Going back to meta and tying to how a lack of continuity checking affected 3H, Jeralt spent a lot of time fretting over Byleth being even remotely exposed to the church when there’s plenty of folks who, while aware of the faith, do not actively practice at all, pay lip service at best, or even show some disdain like the three Lords do.  Exploring lore also hampers the idea that the church is omnipotent and omnipresent: The Empire’s church branch was flat-out gutted for well over a century with practically no faith-based services available (this is a crux for Dorothea’s hatred of the faith and also cited with Mercedes’ history; she and her mother had to go to the Kingdom to find any kind of religious sanctuary after getting kicked out of House Bartels), the Alliance’s church branch has no political sway specifically because of how said Alliance is governed, and the Kingdom’s church branch has its own problems due to the zealotry, radicalism, differences in opinions of the faith, and eventual manipulation by the Agarthans that led it crossing blades with the Central branch.  

Plus, you know, Rhea never bothered to pursue Jeralt after he ran away.  And Alois’ contingent of knights appearing in Remire that fateful evening was pure happenstance, plus how Jeralt doesn’t even operate his company under a pseudonym or anything practical like that.  So with these in mind, it’s actually pretty reasonable to consider that Byleth can at least be somewhat unaware of the Seiros faith without Jeralt’s input.

- While it’s unrelated to Jeralt being Stinky, I find it irksome that a lot of folks will jump right on Jeralt hating Rhea and the church in wake of the man himself acknowledging that taking Byleth away from the monastery (or at least not giving them a stable place to grow up) was probably a huge mistake upon seeing them flourish as a teacher.  He also gets gutted for ultimately putting two and two together and realizing that the Empire may be involved with the group that’s been terrorizing the monastery during all of the 1180 school year, and tells off the Flame Emperor when they claim they’re not culpable for the Remire Massacre.  It’s hard to tell whether or not the man would side with Edelgard with enough persuasion or propaganda, or how he’d react to Byleth becoming one with Sothis and taking on their position as a major figure within the church for three out of four routes with some degree of fanfare and acceptance (which players naturally ignore to warp into Byleth being a shrieking harpy church-basher, or a church victim that El-chan or Claude has to ~save~ her from, naturally).  But it’s proof that people can’t really read - the guy wasn’t having the FE’s excuses, plain and simple.

- The above also ties to how Leonie is derailed in Crimson Flower, as she’s one of the few who unambiguously knows that the Fork Emperor is working with the same group that had Jeralt killed, in addition to all of the hell they caused therein.  Naturally, her excuse if recruited on Flower is - wait for it - Jeralt was pissy at Rhea for reasons Leonie never finds out about, but since Byleth-chan is siding with El-chan, it’s all well and good now.

- There’s also the profoundly depressing meta that if Byleth were allowed to be their own character, a continuity person was maybe in place, and Jeralt wasn’t a glorified plot device, then he had all the makings to be a great deconstruction of Greil from FE9.  The parallels are all there, but naturally they’re not put to good use, or blithely ignored outside of Supports.  This also ties to just how heavily players project onto Byleth, possibly even more so than Robin or Corrin.  Since they really project onto Byleth as Kusakihara and his goons intended, Jeralt is naturally tied to players’ real life father figures by osmosis, despite the fact that Jeralt himself definitely isn’t a good father figure. 

While having a consistent continuity checker wouldn’t be a fix-all to 3H’s problems (Kusakihara’s dismissive attitude towards having one and consistency in general is pretty damning in itself), it likely would’ve at least tightened the worldbuilding that the devs prided themselves on and offered some more consistency, even if the price is showing unpleasant truths such as Jeralt being stinky.

[sieben9]

on regina with the dagger in the barn

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

OK, I took one look at my activity feed and realised that I will be repeating myself over, and over, and over again for this one, and because that’s not interesting to anyone, here’s a compilation post again. Note: This isn’t really a post for reblogging, and more for me to link to.

So. About that scene in the barn.

Honestly, it didn’t bother me (much) that Regina used the dagger to stop Rumple from murdering a defenseless prisoner. At least, not the rational part of me. The other part was holding a torch and some accelerant ready to go, but I hear that’s a poor base for moral judgment, so no setting anyone on fire, no matter what a pretty blaze they might make.

I try and compare using the dagger to stop Rumple--not make him do anything else, just stop him from killing--with someone physically restraining a trauma victim to stop them from enacting bloody vengeance on the person who hurt them. Frankly, Rumple is too powerful a magic user to keep him from killing any other way (unless you’re Belle, I guess), and by the time they would have talked him down, there probably wouldn’t have been enough left of Zelena to bury. No, it’s not great, but it’s probably the best out of a bunch of crappy options.

What bothered me was the way the remainder of the scene was framed. Because she didn’t try to calm or reassure him, her argument basically boiled down to “well, you’ve killed people, too”. Just... wow

To use another comparison, I tried to imagine Regina in Rumple’s place, because I like those characters almost an equal amount. Let’s even leave aside the “locked in a cage for a year” aspect and just imagine that Zelena had been directly and maliciously responsible for Henry’s death the way she was for Neals. And now Regina had the chance to kill her for it.

...yeah, the witch would have burned.

Would I want someone to stop her? Hell, yes! Even if they used, oh, let’s say that magic-blocking cuff to do it, which has got to be linked to some nasty memories for her. As a very astute anon mentioned, murder is bad for the soul. I wouldn’t want to see her do that, and I apart from that visceral level, I didn’t want to see Rumple do that, either. But if her protests(/pleading) were met with nothing but “yes, but you killed people, too”, I would still have been livid! I don’t care how true it is, that is not how you talk to a grieving parent.

And, to go back to the situation at hand, I don’t care that she has all the tact of a rock avalanche. When Regina picked up that dagger, she picked up a moral responsibility along with it, because Rumple literally cannot refuse whatever she tells him to do. No matter how good her reasons, she’s violating his free will, and she should at least have the decency to talk to him like you would to any “normal” person. And it doesn’t have to be some big gesture of empathy; the snarky “what, you want to let her get off that easy?” variety would have worked just fine for these two characters. I would have known what is meant, and it might very well have tipped this scene into “uncomfortable but OK” from the “what is even the hell” area it’s sitting in right now.

(Oh, and that’s not even going into the fact that other characters, among them the sheriff, were present and could have said something like “we’ll take care of that”--looking at you, Emma. Like I said, when Regina picked up that dagger, she picked up a moral responsibility, too.)

To be honest, I mostly blame the writing, here. It’s just more of the “nothing that can’t be undone” kind of clunky plot-first storytelling. Not awful, as such, but incredibly irksome. You made these characters; would it kill you to write them?