#it's just a constant incoherent jumble of thoughts that race through my head

[notafragileegg]

"What are you thinking right now?"

I am not about to explain, that my thoughts, essentially, sound like if you were to turn on 5 different radio channels at once and play them at full volume in a really big empty echoey warehouse

[harryfeatgaga]

You duck your head and break the gaze, your cheeks reddening in the process. But you look up at Harry again just as quickly, having the constant feeling of wanting to look at him. You giggle and Harry shakes his head in reply, as if confused, or that he can’t believe they’re this close he doesn’t know. He’s not sure what he’s feeling right now, and his thoughts are all jumbled up and his heart is beating so fast his head is pounding as well. But this is what he feels every time he’s with you always anticipating, always on edge, never knowing what will come next.

And now, he can’t stand it anymore. He breaks the silence. “Your hair keeps falling into your eyes, do you know that? Here, let me just...” He slowly brings his hand up, scared that he broke the silence, that he’s making the first move. He tucks your hair behind your ear and lets his hand linger there, almost touching your cheek but not quite. He can feel the heat radiating off your skin, like you have this glow from within that’s emanating from you. He stares at his hand, and then into your eyes, silently telling you, your move now.

You leans into his hand and the moment his palm touches your cheeks it feels like an explosion sets off in him, his tummy is doing flips and his ears are ringing and his skin is tingling and all he can think about is you you you and all he can feel is you. His heart is racing a million times a minute and he can’t believe this is what he feels by simply touching your cheek. He can’t seem to put his hand down. He wants to keep holding you cheek especially with the way you’re leaning into his palm, your head small in his big hand, but at the same time he wants to let go because it’s almost becoming too much for him.

If that’s what it feels like touching you, Harry wonders what he’ll feel when—

“Can I kiss you?” Harry suddenly blurts out, voice barely above a whisper, so raspy and almost incoherent because he can’t seem to get his words right every time you’re with him.

You doesn’t say anything even though Harry desperately wants to hear your voice, but at this point anything will do. You nod your head slowly, unsure of yourself, and Harry brings his other hand up to hold your face and pulls you closer to him. Your lips finally touch and he just knows, he knows you two are made for each other because your lips perfectly mold into his and his hands are the right size for your beautiful face. He can’t help but smile into the kiss as his lips parts yours, as your tongues dance around each other. Your movements are getting quicker and quicker, pouring out all the unsaid feelings to each other through the kiss. It seems as if they can feel the magic pouring into their body, taking control. Harry felt a rush, the greatest rush, and he never wants this moment to end, they take a break to breath from the kiss. You finally open your eyes looking at Harry “that was my first kiss” you innocently says. Harry just smiled, he popped his tongue with a small “huh” before sliding his hand across your cheek to hold your face as he leans in to kiss your soft lips yet again. His tongue leading the kiss just slowly showing you the ropes, biting your bottom lip as softly as he can for a lingering moment before finally pulling away to watch your cheeks turn that pinky colour he just loves to see wash over when he gets you all flustered. “Now that’s your second kiss”

OH MY FUCKING GOD????!??!??!?! HELLO!?!??!?!? WHY WAS THIS A WHOLE MINI FIC OH MY GOD IM OBSESSED??????

[cosmictrust]

back to you

sweet pea x fem!reader ♀

warnings: angst

you and sweet pea have been dating, but sweet pea isn’t quite over his ex.

when you began dating sweet pea, it was only a few months after school had started. which meant that josie and SP’s relationship had come to an end four months before yours. you thought that sweet pea would be okay now, that he was ready for another. you’d taken a generous amount of time to really talk with him, getting to know his emotions well before anything would become complicated.

he swore that he was over josie, and that he wanted you. and you believed him. 

“it just doesn’t make sense,” you admit, looking at reggie over your milkshake. you agreed to hang out at pops, just once. the whyte wyrm was your usual. “i mean, i thought i could trust him.” you frown, sweeping back a piece of hair from your face. 

“i say, you break up.” reggie deadpanned. 

“hey!” you laughed, reaching across the booth to slap his shoulder. “i’m serious!” 

he smiles, pretending that he wasn’t wishing that you would crack the serpent's heart in two. 

“i don’t know, sweetheart. i’m not good at this.” he admits, throwing an arm across his seat, the other ruffling his hair. 

“i know, reg. i’m just happy that you listen anyway.” 

reggie sometimes thought you were too innocent and kind to be a serpent at times. you attracted the opposite; sweet pea being the prime example. maybe even reggie. 

“thank you, y/n, but i already know how amazing i am.” he laughed, and she just scoffed playfully. 

he loved how she made time for everyone. she was a careful being, always checking in on the ones she cared for. 

reggie’s eyes flicked to over your shoulder as the bell over the door rang. he groaned and rubbed his forehead as furrowed your brows. 

“what’s wrong?” you ask, slowly turning your head to follow his gaze. you feared reggie’s ruthless ex veronica, would come to ruin a fun time. 

fangs approached your table, a warm hand coming to clasp your shoulder as you smiled in relief. “fangs,” you exhaled. “hey, good to see you.” at the very least, fangs would offer you a smile. 

but, something was different. 

his posture is tense, his face was unwelcoming and rigid. your fists balled by instinct, and your jaw clenches. “what?” you ask, a bit anxiously. 

“it’s pea.” fangs says, tugging your arm to come with him. your heart sank as you quickly rose out of the booth, pulling your purse out with shaking hands. 

“i’m so sorry, reggie.” you quickly apologise, beginning to shuffle through your purse for a five. 

“don’t worry about it, i’ve got it.” reggie gives you a forced smile. 

you wave goodbye for a split second before whipping around as fangs drags you out of the chock’lit shoppe.

fangs doesn’t say anything until you arrive at the whyte wyrm. as you throw the stick into park, fangs finally speaks to you. 

“it’s bad this time,” he warns you, a disappointed look on his face. “he’s drunk.” 

you thank fangs before rushing in, seeing sweets on a bar stool, head in his hands. 

“baby,” you’re relieved that he’s in one piece, still conscious. “i was so worried.” 

you hug the cool leather of his serpent jacket, kissing the spot behind his ear. 

after a brief hug, you come to sit in the bar stool next to him, gently raking the stray hair from his face. “let me see, sweets.” coaxing him into seeing the damage done. 

“go away.” he mumbles grumpily. 

“i just wanna help,” you try again, your hands nimbly attempting to pry them away. 

sweet pea doesn’t reply. his shoulders sink further. 

“sweet pea, i’ll just t-“ 

“fuck, y/n! just go!” he stands up suddenly, staring down at you. 

he has a deep cut across the bridge of his nose, and deep purple bruises scattered across his face, the most prominent on his right cheekbone. 

your cheeks turn red as the bar falls silent and most of them stare. 

“pea, i’m just trying to help you get home safe.” you look at him in the eyes, your voice hard. “fucking fangs had to come while i was having fun, and take me away to take care of you.” 

you don’t even know why you argue with him when he’s drunk. he’s not in the state of mind to even process your words. 

“yeah, and who were you with, baby?” SP lets out a flat scoff. 

“let’s just go.” you groan, standing up and glaring at him expectantly. 

pea rolls his eyes, giving you a dirty scowl. 

“i’ll help you home, yeah? get you something to drink at your house. you don’t gotta be here.” fangs cuts in, sounding desperate. 

although you’re pissed at sweets for embarrassing you, and although it feels deeply buried inside you right now, you want him to get home. 

“c’mon, sweets. i’ll take care of you. tuck you in and we’ll forget about it.” you offer, a tone so soft you know only he’d hear. 

he groans in response, finally standing and wrapping an arm around fangs to go back to your car. 

he’s practically asleep when you manage to get him in and buckled, mumbling a few incoherent words here and there. 

when you and fangs finally lay him down in his bed, you thank fangs and reassure him you could take it from here. he gave you a long hug, before departing. 

sweets was asleep by now, and you tugged off his serpent jacket and hung it up. you worked quick, sure to organize everything the way he’d want things. his chest and ribs seemed fine, just a few light bruises. the most damage was to his face, so you worked as quietly and carefully as possible. cleaning away the shallow cuts with alcohol pads before applying just a bit of ointment. 

sweets was really pretty. his hair was pushed back, so you could really look. 

he was in the deep sleep, on his way to a hangover, you quickly realized. he hadn’t even moved a bit while you fixed up his cuts. you pulled a tylenol from the bathroom mirror and set it on the nightstand before leaving. “good night, sweets.” you whisper before kissing his forehead, your heart fluttering as you turn to leave. 

pea mumbles something, and you look back, thinking maybe he’d woke. his eyes were shut, and you chuckle to yourself as he continued on a string of jumbled sleep talk. that is, until you could make out a certain name, four different times. 

josie.

the next day, you don’t talk to anyone. you’d spent the night thinking about everything you weren’t to him. that each time you kissed, had sex, held hands, touched.. 

he thought of someone else.

it absolutely broke your heart. it seemed like no matter what you did, you’d always be second.  even worse, it made sense. why he didn’t want to go to the winter dance. why he never wanted to go to veronica’s speakeasy. he loved josie too much to see her. 

sweet pea calls three times and texts more when you don’t respond for the better part of the day. you don’t read anything. 

you ask toni if she’d come over. everything is bottled up in you, and the constant flow of tears isn’t helping. when she comes, you absolutely fall apart. you can barely breathe as you explain everything, including your feelings. you wish that the sting of rejection didn’t hurt so bad. 

sweet pea is worried. he first woke with a bitch of a hangover, then realized how everything was arranged. the tylenol, the hung jacket, and his face was properly taken care of. he was so lucky for a girl like her. 

he called to tell her how much he appreciated it; to thank her. she didn’t pick up, and he thought nothing of it, but when he texted six times and called twice more by noon, he felt a sinking feeling of dread as he asked all of his friends around the wyrm if they’d seen her.  

he decided toni as the last chance before going over to her place. calling her, toni picked up on the second ring. 

“what?” she hissed, not sounding very happy. 

“jesus, i didn’t even say anything.” 

“shut up. what do you want?”

“have you seen y/n?” pea asks hopefully, clinging to the last of his hope. 

“yes. i’m here. comforting her, asshole.” 

sweet pea had no idea what she was talking about. 

“what? why? what happened?” was all he could rush out, already getting up and reaching for his keys. 

“fucks sake, sweet pea. you really fucked her over last night.” sweet pea froze as she spoke, in utter shock. 

“me? toni, what the hell are you talking about?” 

“you don’t even remember. well, why would you? you were drunk.” toni says with a razor edge in her voice. 

“fuck. what did i do?” sweet pea’s hands shake, his heart racing. 

“fix it, pea. now.” 

the next three school days, you avoid him. he searches for you, constantly, desperately missing you. toni wouldn’t tell him; she claimed he had to make it up to y/n. she didn’t have a say in their relationship. fangs knew a part of it, but they shared details of everything that had happened with each other. 

he waited outside of your biology classroom. up until the bell, he watched closely as students filled the hallways, waiting to see his girlfriend. 

unsurprisingly, she’s talking to reggie. sweet pea forces himself to swallow the rage that he feels.

was this why you’d been ignoring him? the bulldog had gotten to you?

he briskly pushes past others, grabbing your forearm and yanking you to the side of the hallway. 

“what the fuck, y/n?” sweets jaw is jumping, his fist clenching and unclenching. “you’ve ignored all of my texts and calls? you ditched me for a bulldog?” 

“get the fuck off of me!” you push at sweet pea, but his grip only tightens as he grabs both forearms. 

“what the fuck is your problem?” sweet pea asks, glaring down at you. 

“you’re a fucking liar! that’s my problem!” y/n stares back up at him, eyes filling with tears and spilling before she could stop them. 

sweet pea lets go of her, his hands dropping to his sides. his heart aches, seeing her like this. 

“y/n,” reggie’s unwelcomed voice intrudes the couples conversation. “we should go.”  

sweet pea stares at her as she looks at reggie, then back up at him.  he’s trying to suppress it all; every nerve in his body is tense and on edge. he was ready to kill reggie. 

“stay out of it.” sweet pea snaps at him, looking past her to glare at him for a second. “slumming it with a north sider?” sweet pea humorlessly laughs. 

“accusing me of cheating? again?” she’s tired of sweet pea being such a fucking hypocrite. she crosses her arms as she doesn’t take her eyes from his own. “that’s rich. you know, coming from you.” rolling your eyes, you throw a look over your shoulder to reggie, a half smirk on your face. 

you receive the same look back.

“coming from me?” sweet pea narrowed his eyes. 

“well, considering how much you love josie..” you trail off, ignoring the sting. 

“oh my god! that’s what this is about?” sweet pea shoves a hand through his hair, raising his voice. 

“no, it’s not! it’s about how you never cared about me! it’s about using me, wasting my time, a-and..” your voice cracks as you almost hug yourself, finding comfort in the serpent jacket you wore. 

“stringing me along.. but still thinking of her.” you shudder, not even being able to continue all the reasons you should hate him. “a-and making me love you!” you turn away from sweet pea, breaking down into tears as you rush towards the girls bathroom. sweet pea nor reggie had time to react. 

because, holy shit, you just said you loved him. sweet pea stood appalled, his own throat tightening as his fists clench.

toni tells him that she had left early that day. so, he does one thing right; follows her. he doesn’t care how insane it seemed, or how stupid it make him. that’s what people who love each other do, right?

you’re sitting on the end of your bed when he opens your door, one of his huge tee shirts on your body. you don’t say anything as he comes and sits next to you. your cheeks and nose are red. guilt drowns him. 

before he can rattle off a speech of his feelings, everything he’d wanted to say to her, she broke the silence. 

“i think we should break up.” 

sweet pea snaps his head up to look at her, and her face is almost sympathetic. 

“i don’t deserve this. i don’t want to be your rebound. then when you kept saying her name while you were asleep.. pea, fuck. i felt used. i had sex with you. and then you accused me of cheating in front of everyone at the wyrm.. i still brought you home, and cleaned you up, sweets! do you have any idea how dumb that makes me feel? i took care of you. the entire month of that dumb school dance.. i waited for you to ask. but you probably already had your plans with josie, huh? couldn’t bear to go through it with someone you didn’t love?��� you look at him, then. he realizes you weren’t the girl that you were at the beginning of your relationship. you’re tired of him. he ruined you. 

he’s crushed. all this time, you’d quietly suffered. 

“i love you.” sweet pea admits. he should tell you how he didn’t love josie; that she doesn’t compare, and never will. he belongs to you. but he can’t seem to choke out a single word. He tries to blink away the tears. this can’t be the end of it.

there’s a long silence between the two of you. 

“yeah, i love you too.” you stare at the ground. 

sweet pea isn’t sure what to do. he feels rigid; like you hate him now. 

his body longed for yours. you look at him again; you realize he’s crying, too. your eyes wonder to his lips for a mere second. 

he just wants to make it better. he has no idea how. he’s never done this. 

he moves to kiss you, his hand cupping your cheek but you turn away. 

“i think you should go, now.” your skin is practically buzzing with sweet peas warm touch. it’s mournfully cold when he pulls away again. 

“i’m sorry,” he mumbles, trying to keep his voice clear and strong. hands running through his hair in frustration. “i’m clueless when it comes to this.” sweet pea stands up, getting on his knees in front of you. “y/n, come on, we can’t break up.” his hands rest on your thighs, gently squeezing them. “i’m sorry. fuck, i don’t care, i’ll do whatever you want me to. anything,” sweets hates feeling so fucking helpless. “please. i love you. and this is all so new to me! i don’t wanna lose you.” you look away, slipping your hands over his own. 

“sweet pea.. i don’t want to be with you.” you lied, clenching your teeth. you wanted him to leave you alone.  

that was the last thing sweet pea wanted to hear. she was drawing out his heart ache painfully. 

he left her that night, wounded by her words. even though each of their hearts told them to stay.