#it's incredible what being surrounded by people who treat you like a competent adult person can do for your self-image

[onrainynights]

🕯️manifesting my promotion🕯️

[masterthespianduchovny]

I believe Kendall is the most popular character in the series, but Roman is far more compelling in my opinion.

His emotional arc and burgeoning maturity is a compelling thing to watch, esp when you get glimpses as to why he is the way he is.

In the beginning, I wanted to root for Roman because he was a Culkin, and then Roman tore up the check and I was like, “Fuck this dude.” I mean, clearly, the character and not the actor.

But, in retrospect, that doesn’t seem like something Roman would do. Yes, it’s canonical that he did it, but it’s also canonical that he was wearing, presumably, a wedding band in that same ep that we’ll most likely never get answers for. My point is: the pilot ep is almost always the rough draft of characters going forward. This doesn’t erase his actions, but it just seems “out of character.”

With that being said, we see Roman going from a yes man to his father and caring about his own bottom line to genuinely assessing situations and giving his honest opinion. 

His journey to get there was strange, unusual, yet sweet.

Roman was sex obsessed, vulgar, and a fuck up. It was easy to assume that he’s this way because he’s spoiled when, in reality, he most likely suffered the worst of his father’s abuse and was punished for being “weaker.” The implied explanation behind Roman’s behavior is that Logan put his youngest son down in one way or another to uphold the hierarchy between him and Kendall. We see that Connor knows his place and doesn't challenge it, but Roman did and does.

Logan made it where Roman was self sabotaging and heavily insecure about himself and his abilities. 

I want to resist the urge of labeling Gerri as the catalyst behind Roman’s change, but I see no other significant factor beyond her. Roman has always wanted to prove himself to his dad and repeatedly failed because that’s how he was molded. But, something happened during the trip to Japan that made Roman and Gerri become closer. Even if it was unstated and imperceptible, there was a change that bonded them.

The Roy children are conditioned to want their dad’s approval, despite failing or it never being enough. Which is why Roman keeps trying.

But, things change with Gerri.

After getting business advice from the wrong person, he finally asks the right person. If it hadn’t been for Japan, would he had asked her? And what’s more noteworthy is: he takes her suggestion seriously. 

Back in season 1 episode 2, we see that Roman respects and admires Gerri’s skills at her job. 

Interestingly enough, Roman wants her in the room during a business dealing, which is a stark contrast to his vehemence of Frank being his babysitter. IMO, Frank most likely made it very known that he looked down on Roman and probably gleefully reported Roman’s mistakes and fuck ups to Logan. Although he didn't have many dealings with Gerri before season 2, she sasses Roman back, but treated him like an adult; albeit, a very spoiled one, but she did humor him, take him seriously, and keeps whatever mistakes he made between them.  

The thing that really spurs Roman’s maturity and self awareness into motion is Gerri checking on him. How often do we see people check on Roman’s emotional well being? Or touch base with him? But, Gerri does and Roman asks her what he needs to do to be taken seriously.

He wouldn’t had ever asked Frank that. And Frank would’ve given him some smart ass reply if he did.

But, Gerri gives him practical advice and is open to being the person Roman leans on. She gives him great, but obvious advice that benefits him in the long run. Her advice also addresses Roman’s glaring flaws of not having practical experience, training, or knowledge surrounding running a business.

Gerri is the first person that Roman allowed himself to be completely vulnerable regarding his insecurities and desire for his father’s approval who made him feel safe and validated. She didn’t give a smart ass reply or justify why his father didn’t trust him, she advised him to do things that will get Logan to trust Roman.

And this is important because Gerri goes from, Gerri Kellman, job good-doer to, Gerri, someone Roman can confide in about professional issues.

After that, we see Roman calling and telling her about every little thing. He sees her as a mentor, but also a friend and someone who isn’t going to judge him.

And maybe this is where the change truly starts. Perhaps, the rocket incident is still on his mind, but having Gerri being a soundboard and help guide his career, Roman can finally begin to grow into his own. This is further underscored when their relationship crossing into a sexual boundary. Roman reveals this incredibly intimate part of him and Gerri doesn’t judge him; she doesn’t make him feel bad about; she inherently understands his need. What interesting about the second “conference call” scene is that Roman is fully prepared to leave and apologizes before realizing that Gerri is in character. And then, he goes into character instantly.

After their first conference call, he’s awkward around her. With their second, he’s his normal self and cracking jokes and telling the truth because it sounds like a lie.

Since this was around the time Roman found out that Shiv was the heavy favorite for the next CEO, he’s down, but is also showing self awareness. He hasn’t reverted back to his old self. Gerri has to beg him to talk to Eduard, but she basically informs him: I went to bat for you, despite your father wanting Tom. I find it noteworthy that he describes her suggestion as “make up sex” and her “grinding against him” to apologize for the Shiv thing. He’s allowing himself to be upset with her in that moment like normal people do opposed to the repressing his true feeling like he does with his family. Whether Gerri revealing that she suggested him to his dad meant��something in that moment, it definitely meant something going forth. I believe after this we get an increase of “Gerri says”, Gerri thinks”, and “Gerri cares...”

Gerri is the only one who has consistently taken Roman seriously, was a resource for him to improve his business skills, and allowed him to be vulnerable without making him feel bad about it. 

That, in turn, made Roman take himself seriously as a person even when it came to offering a suggestion that continued to threaten Waystar as they knew it.

It takes a lot of maturity and self awareness to say, “hey, this is an important deal for us; I may not be the guy for this”, despite you knowing what this opportunity could mean for you. And Logan’s decision to keep the course with Roman wooing Eduard has everything to do with Gerri’s faith in him. Would Logan care that Roman was good with people, if Gerri hadn’t pushed for him, stressed that the panel went well, or the other things she’s done? Gerri constantly put Roman in a position to succeed, which fed him confidence and allowed it grow in a healthy way. This is highlighted times a million when he tells his dad to reject the offer after him kidnapping.

But, we also have his interpersonal relationships with his family members.

Roman asked his father if he was doing well and had someone to talk to about Marcia. He was truly concerned about his father’s emotional well being. Roman wasn’t just content with, “You good?” No, he also wanted to see if his dad had a support system to deal with his marriage falling apart. This is not the Roman of season 1, that’s for sure. On the yacht when he asked Kendall and Shiv if they could have a normal conversation if they came out of the situation, he WAS the only mature one in the discussion. I know they were having funny, but it did appear that Kendall and Shiv have difficulty having normal, healthy, and productive conversations with one another. They’re so used to competing, undercutting each other, and looking for an angle. They don’t fully trust each other.

Roman wants to know that his loved ones are doing okay and connect to and with them, but ironically enough, he is the only one having a healthy “relationship.” His needs are being met.

For him to trust Gerri the way he does to not only 1. Propose a business team up, but 2. Defend her at the blood sacrifice, speaks volumes.

It shows that he has come a long way from the asshole who ripped up the check in front of the kid and the guy who washed his hand and pretended a rocket didn’t explode. 

This also makes Roman dangerous, but in a good way. Kendall has always had the advantage over Roman because he knew the business and how to speak in business terms. But, with Roman working through his issues and actually putting in the work, Roman could give Kendall an actual run for his money. I've said this before, Roman is a killer. But, he lacked the confidence and knowledge to be useful. With Gerri’s guidance and his ever growing confidence and skill, Roman is growing into a better successor in reality, esp because I think he has better negotiating and people skills. 

[dingoat]

AHUSKA: 👹 How does you OC act around different people and how does their personality change to match the environment they’re in? How do they act with: friends, family, strangers, children or their lover(s)? ⭐ Does your OC like to sleep alone or do they enjoy sharing their bed? Have they been to any sleepovers? Have they ever been camping? What did they think of the experiences if so?

👹 - Ahuska will absolutely adjust her behaviour depending on her company and environment; sometimes quite deliberately, often times reactively. She's borderline introverted; doesn't love huge crowds or excess attention and tends to get very shy or agitated if she feels like there's too many eyes on her, but in the company of 'her people', aka anyone that doesn't cost her energy to be around, she can be quite bold and silly and flirty and easily give the impression that she's confident and extroverted.

She's also incredibly sensitive (and that's even before the Force gets involved), and will rapidly adjust her manner to bring the best out of people, whether that's to go soft and supportive or dig-her-heels-in strong. Around complete strangers she can be a bit more awkward, stammers more, and very reticent; around lovers her emotional floodgates are wide open and she'll pour out more of herself than she realises half the time. She doesn't have a huge amount of experience with children and probably mostly falls back on treating them like miniature adults, which can leave the kids feeling confused or oddly flattered. Throw animals into the mix and you'll see a whole new Ahuska altogether, even (or especially) around strangers; bright and animated when sharing them with other people, confidently and competently adjusting and readjusting her manner to work the animals themselves (she'll switch from a soft fluffy cloud of reassurance for a frightened taunling to a square-shouldered wall of ferocity against a charging bull taun in the blink of an eye), and utterly, unapologetically savage to anyone she thinks is doing an animal wrong.

At her core, though, Ahuska is very soft, and thrives on comfort and reassurance and cohesiveness. Outward strength and confidence is exhausting to her, even if she's gotten increasingly better at putting it on, and company where she can just relax and not have to prove anything is absolutely the best.

⭐ - Given the choice, Ahuska will always, always, always share her bed, and sleeps much more soundly when in some sort of physical contact with another living being. Growing up this would have been an animal (or five), and of course later on she'd know the joy of falling asleep in someone's arms. In situations where she's found herself alone (say, being press-ganged into Nines' private army and proving grounds, orrrr living alone in a mountain shack for two years on the run from the Empire and the Republic...) her sleep is fitful, restless, and generally unsatisfying.

She's never really done much by the way of 'sleepovers' - her childhood never particularly lent itself to that, and living on a ship with Crow there's never exactly been a need, though maybe, just maybe, there's a friend or two out there in the galaxy who she wouldn't be averse to visiting for a night, staying up late on the couch eating junk and watching holos with, and falling asleep platonically near (...here's looking at Zim, Fynta, Noara, regular-universe-Blakk...).

Camping though? Girl LOVES herself some camping! Pity the loves of her life always seem far less enthused about the activity than her. Crow's taken her on many dates out under the stars, knowing how much she loves to be surrounded by earth and grass and trees and wild things, getting the smell of campfire smoke in her hair, even if he'd rather be out in space aboard his ship any day of the week. With Blakk it's not so much dating as many accidental outdoor misadventures (who doesn't love being stranded in a swamp??) and safe to say Ahuska was far more comfortable in those situations, fraught as most of them have been, and waking up to the morning sun in a dew-studded meadow is still easily one of her most treasured memories.

I imagine little!Ahuska growing up on Dxun took herself on many unannounced 'camping adventures' and often had to be ferreted out of makeshift tents and dens and cave-cubby-houses at absurd hours of the night by her very weary parents.

[sustainhealthmagazine]

Is Your Phone Usage Making You Fat?

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“What? The time spent on my phone could put me at risk of obesity?!” Yes you’ve heard it right. University students who used their smartphones five or more hours a day had a 43% increased risk of obesity and were more likely to have other lifestyle habits that increase the risk of heart disease, according to new research.

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Are you checking your average usage on your phone settings as you’re reading this? I don't blame you – we are all guilty of scrolling endlessly on social media, checking our emails when we’re out of the office and watching an episode on Netflix whilst on our commute. This time sure does add up and before you know it you’ve spent nearly a quarter of your day starring at a miniature screen. Not only does this increase your chances of obesity by nearly half but it’s also a complete waste of your day right?

Is a digital detox the answer? Let’s be honest, probably not! Realistically, you’ll deactivate all forms of social media for two weeks before activating them again and going back to your usual habits.

Instead our experts have come up with ways to be digitally savvy, to get the most out of our mobile phones whilst helping to avoid obesity…

Whilst you’re at it, Instagram it

Taking a good ten minutes, as it is obviously crucial, to get the perfect snap of your food before digging in may not actually be as ridiculous as it sounds!  Dr Marilyn Glenville, the UK’s leading Nutritionist and author of Natural Alternatives to Dieting (www.marilynglenville.com) explains why, “Researchers suggest that taking a photograph of food just before you eat, concentrates the mind to eat not only healthier foods but also less of it. The photographs seemed to deter binges.” So, dedicate a little of your social media time to getting an ‘instagramable’ picture that will give us all food envy!

Head and step count up - phone and stress levels down

“Stress levels are rising across the board because we operate in a society that is always switched on - a ‘snooze you lose’ culture – and this is having significant effects on our health and wellbeing. We are more connected than ever before via means of technology and yet arguably life is more fragmented and disconnected due to families being far flung across the world and the competing pressures of family life, work life and an online life. There is no ‘off button,’ with emails pinging at all hours and personal time infringed with team WhatsApp groups. Boundaries have been blurred and it’s incredibly difficult to disentangle ourselves from busyness and to give ourselves permission to stop and replenish. With the advent of social media we fall prey to comparison and a feeling like we have to keep up with other people’s ‘highlight reel’ and the lure of scrolling is getting in the way of people engaging in more nourishing, life-giving activities,” explains Qualified Psychologist, working with ThinkWell-LiveWell (www.thinkwell-livewell.com), Suzy Reading.

 If you’ve noticed an increase in your stress levels, be digitally savvy and put the time spent on your phone to better use. Instead of blocking out the world via starring at a screen, pop your headphones in and actually take in your surroundings – wow did you notice that was there? The new mindfulness toolkit, ThinkWell-LiveWell (www.thinkwell-livewell.com) offers a ‘Stress-Busting Playbook’, so you can increase your average steps per day whilst learning something new on your commute, who knew that there were so many easy things you can do to manage stress!

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Phone, laptop, phone, laptop – is this how your day goes?

One simple way to increase your daily activity, whilst still using your favourite devices, is to use them standing instead of sitting.

“Office workers spend 70-85% of their time sitting at work meaning that they are currently one of the most sedentary populations. Even when adults meet the physical activity guidelines, sitting for prolonged and unbroken periods of time has been associated with an increased risk of heart disease, diabetes and even weight gain. A recent meta-analysis which included 1,184 participants showed that if a 65kg person were to substitute sitting with standing for 6 hours/day they would expend 54 more calories each day which would translate to a fat loss of 2.5kg in one year,” explains Leading London Nutritionist Lily Soutter (www.lilysoutternutrition.com).

App’s are great but steer clear of Deliveroo

It’s easier to order off your phone, there’s no denying that, but having a walk before eating means that you’ve earnt your lunch/dinner that little extra. The Healthy Asian Inspired eatery, itsu, is the perfect option when you’re looking for something quick and tasty, yet still undeniably healthy.

What would a nutritionist grab? “I often reach for a perfect chicken bento salad. The combination of lean protein, healthy fats and carbohydrate keeps me satisfied for ages, and I love that the fibre-rich plant foods feed my friendly gut bacteria. For a snack, I go for plant protein-rich edamame beans, or I may even treat myself to salmon sashimi. I try to eat oily fish 2–3 times per week, as their essential fats play a role in so many bodily functions. If I fancy a drink, I’ll choose sparkling water or a ginger and lemon kombucha -just to get my fermented food fix,” advises Nutritionist Fiona Lawson working in association with itsu (www.itsu.com).

Ok enough is enough

It’s 10pm, time to unwind. Research has revealed that getting more shut-eye might help us fight off cravings for junk food. So scrolling through your phone at this time could be increasing your chances of obesity even more! 

“Blue light can delay melatonin output a key hormone involved with the sleep-wake cycle. Key offenders are phones, laptops and the TV. I am not the best sleeper, and have seen a huge shift in the quality of my sleep since I stopped scrolling on my phone before bed. I now read a novel before bed,” explains Nutritionist Lily Soutter. (www.lilysoutternutrition.com)

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