#it's funny how i hyper-fixate on these tiny details which were in no way ever intended to be the main point of the post

[tkmk]

there was a post on here about being a good ally to social causes and marginalised groups. i think it was a good post that described something important, but there was one line where it said something like “... challenge injustice (when it won’t make the situation worse)...”

and that is always something that really stresses me out. because how do i know that i’m not going to make the situation worse? how do i know that? how can i be sure that i’m not going to antagonise somebody into lashing out towards the group i’m trying to support? how can i guarantee that i’m not going to spread misinformation that detracts attention away from the real issues? how can i be sure that i’m not being influenced by weird personal biases to approach issues in a way that is more about myself than the people i claim to want to support?

it’s very clear that i am over-analysing things here. i think i overestimate the importance of my actions - both in terms of the positive things i expect myself to contribute and the negative things i worry i am going to be responsible for.

the first thing is not to dwell too much on “oh, what if my behaviour is used by fascist types to justify their actions?” because it really doesn’t matter who you are, what you say, or what you do; these people are at a point where they have such twisted ideologies that anything they encounter will be interpreted as “evidence” that they are correct. that is the starting point on the road to passive appeasement, to compromise over things that should not compromised on. putting yourself in a position where setting one foot wrong is going to somehow be the catalyst for some atrocity is giving the people who would commit such acts far too much credit, and if you start defining your behaviour upon that principle, you are always going to be fighting a losing battle.

the other thing is that the standards set for “good allies” aren’t actually that high. i regularly see people showing a lot of appreciation for very basic and simple displays of respect and support. of course, it’s not about getting appreciation, it’s about what’s useful, but observing what people appreciate is a proxy for what we should be aiming for. no individual is going to change the world, but i don’t think anyone actually expects that, and small positive efforts from enough people can add up to something worthwhile.

i tend to forget that when i get hyper-focused on myself, and the more i scrutinise myself, the more i trick myself into believing that avoiding these issues altogether is the only way i can prevent myself from doing anyone any serious harm. the more i avoid these issues, the more distant i get from the people actually affected, and the more the concept of what constitute a “good ally” becomes this abstract, gargantuan, impossible thing. the more i avoid the issue, the more i need to do to compensate for the avoidance!

there’s no perfect answer to any of this. it’s important to at least try, it’s important to understand that you won’t always get things right, but well-intentioned mistakes are never going to have the same consequences or context as deliberate and malicious acts. the bigger picture means you need to take the risk of doing something wrong, and be willing to hold yourself accountable if that happens. the worst case scenario is to passively and timidly avoid the issue entirely; no marginalised or oppressed person in the entire history of humanity has ever been helped by a potentially supportive person dwelling on “i’d be more useful/less harmful if i was dead” type though.

there’s no perfect answer, but there is an imperfect answer: to engage actively and sincerely, and maybe that’s enough.