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allsassnoclass · 4 years ago

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the closest i’ve ever been to the heart of everything

Ficmas Day 9

Pairing: Calum Hood/Roy English

Rating: General Audiences

Key Tag(s): New Years, introspection

Word Count: 1700

Read on AO3

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The first morning of 2021 in the Hood-English household.

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2021 arrives quietly in the Hood-English household. Neither of them have plans, one last difference that 2020 has prompted in their lives, so they sit with Duke in the living room and turn on the radio, breaking out cards and board games to tide them over until the clock finally ticks over to a new day, new month, and entirely new year. They cheer in the new one and curse out the old one loud enough for Duke to give them both reproachful looks for interrupting his sleep, then Roy heads to bed. Calum has a few phone calls and video messages to send and respond to, throwing his love and well-wishes out into the world with a sigh of relief and hope for a brighter future. Roy’s entire world is contained in that living room, and the rest of the universe knows that he has infinite time to make connections and spread light, something which he is more inclined to do early in the morning than late at night.

Duke follows him into the bedroom and flops down on his bed, unaware of how momentous this moment is for his two humans and everyone else who has been desperate to see 2020 go. Roy is asleep by the time Calum joins him.

The first morning of 2021 begins in darkness for Roy. He and Calum had left the house the day before to watch the last sunset of 2020, and Roy feels that it’s important for him to see the dawn break on the new year. Calum had not been so keen, but that’s okay. As much as he loves sharing bits of himself with Calum, it’s also important to keep standing on his own feet and meet the future head-on, and Calum will still be here, sleeping peacefully and contentedly by the time he gets back.

His hair is a tangled mess against the pillow. He keeps saying that he wants to cut it, but he hasn’t yet, despite Roy offering to help do it at home. Secretly, Roy thinks he enjoys knowing that he doesn’t need to particularly take care of it and be visible now. Over the course of quarantine, Roy has watched him relax into himself more than he already had, giving himself time to exist without the pressures of being an international celebrity or strict schedules that sometimes come with the band. They both have been on parallel tracks of self-discovery, taking steps on different paths while still holding hands, and it’s been one of the bright spots of the year.

Roy slips out of their house and begins his run. The city wakes up around him in that hazy way that LA is prone to do, never fully asleep yet always groggy in the early hours, and the further from the heart of it he gets, the lighter the sky becomes around him. He pauses where he would typically loop back towards home and looks up, sky a beautiful blend of yellows, pinks, and reds, slowly and steadily chasing away the dark desperately clinging to the day. He closes his eyes and breathes in the energy of fresh starts and a bright sun, letting it fuel him for the way home.

Calum still isn’t awake when he returns, just like he expected, but Duke greets him at the door. He lets him out to do his business and fills his food and water so Calum won’t have to worry about it, then slips into a quick shower. It was cold out there this morning, winter permeating across California and here to stay for a while, but they have a gas fireplace that’s warm, and he grabs a journal and turns it on, taking a seat on the floor near it. His morning mediation is brief today, but it does the trick. Deep, slow breaths center him, helping him come back to inner alignment, and he rids himself of any tension and focuses his thoughts toward openness to the universe and whatever the new year might bring. He is constantly trying to improve, but despite the made up classifications of dates and years it’s still nice to feel like there’s a starting point, especially when so many people need it right now. A new year always breeds a thrumming, united, optimistic energy. It reassures people that the future can be better, and Roy plans to continue harnessing that energy for the rest of his life.

When he’s done meditating, he picks up the journal. Duke had joined him in the living room at some point while he had his eyes closed, resting his head on his paws. He’s used to the rhythm they developed during quarantine, patient in the time between his breakfast and Calum taking him for a walk. Roy feels like, in a way, he’s learned a lot from Duke this year. Dogs find simplistic joy in so many things, not needing a lot to maintain their happiness, just love and companionship. Duke has basked in Calum’s affections this year, overjoyed to have both humans in the house for the longest consecutive time.

Of course, Roy has also been basking in Calum’s presence this year. It’s been the longest time they’ve been able to spend together since they met, and Calum’s presence has been priceless.

If Roy could summarize his past year in one word it would be growth. He’s grown as an individual, more than he thought he would, and he’s witnessed growth and metamorphosis in so many people around him, too. The human race as a whole has been through tremendous growing pains this year, in a way that makes him excited for the future. None of that comes close to the growth he has experienced with Calum as a pair.

One of the many wonderful things about Calum is his complete support of positive transformation. Roy has never felt anything but love and steady reassurance from him. He is a great listener and has never laughed at Roy for his ideas and thoughts, and he understands the value of silence. Silences with Calum never have to be filled, but somehow he always feels closer to him after an afternoon of separate existence and an evening of quiet company. Growth happens in those tacit moments, but they also happen in the loud and obnoxious ones that they share, or the joyful laughter that Roy always manages to catch from Calum.

He would have gone insane without Calum around to keep him grounded, a strong anchor when he gets too close to floating away, and he knows that Calum appreciated his presence, too. Being with Calum makes Roy feel the closest he ever has to his authentic self, a combination of all of the people Roy has been in the past and all of the ones he wants to be in the future whittled down to a singular being in the present. It would make him uneasy to think that they’ll have to part ways again when tours finally restart if he didn’t know that music was what they’re meant to do.

Besides, they have an unbreakable bond. Roy wouldn’t have gotten a matching tattoo with him if he didn’t know even as early as Bali that Calum would be the most important person in his life.

Calum contains too many multitudes to try to journal about, so Roy turns his attention back to the new year and articulates what he wants to see in 2021. For the most part, the things he writes down are simple. Once he notices himself talking in circles, he squeezes his last thoughts out until he has no words left, then sets down his pen and checks the time.

Calum will be getting up soon. It’s time for breakfast.

Roy has never claimed to be a master chef, but he orders pastries that Calum likes and warms some hash browns. Toast goes in the toaster and fruit gets cut up, arranged into neat lines on a cutting board with a copious amount of blueberries because it’s the one they both like best.

Calum enters the kitchen right before the hash browns are done, dashing Roy’s hopes of giving him breakfast in bed.

“Morning,” Calum says, voice sleep-raspy.

“Happy New Year,” Roy says. Calum hums appreciatively, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he passes, heading for the coffee pot.

“Coffee's on the counter,” Roy says. “I got your usual order.”

Calum switches directions, noticing the rest of breakfast laid out.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I figured we’d start the year out right.”

Calum hums again, popping a blueberry into his mouth while Roy takes the hash browns off the heat and gets toast on their plates. They move to the breakfast nook, located in a ray of morning sun that Roy always sits facing since Calum doesn’t like to squint into it. Duke takes his place at their feet, eagerly awaiting any food droppings and greeting Calum in the same move.

Calum will end up giving him some toast. That’s why Roy gave him two pieces instead of just one.

“What are you manifesting for the new year?” Calum asks after he has profusely thanked him for breakfast and eaten a good portion of it. “More growth?”

Roy marvels at how well Calum knows him and the seamless way they understand each other.

“Yeah. I want us all to continue awakening and expanding. What about you?”

“I’m not sure yet,” he says. “Give me the day to think on it.”

Roy nods. He can give Calum all the time in the world.

“Do you really think this year will be better?” Calum asks.

“Yes,” Roy answers immediately. “We can make it better.”

Calum smiles softly, taking another blueberry.

“I like your optimism,” he says. “You make me have faith in us.”

Roy smiles back at him, an answer that Calum can read easily. Roy has already told him that being with Calum keeps that faith in humanity growing. He is an optimist because Calum gives him evidence of the good in the universe every day. Another year with both of them together can only continue to breed good things, no matter what happens around them.

#my writing #roylum #ficmas 2020 #yeah I don't know what to do with this either!#I can't believe I did this but! I did have fun writing it #it's fun trying to write roy's inner monologue #NO ONE has to read this I know I got moody earlier but genuinely this one is only for me and gregory

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noiseartists · 5 years ago

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KNOW (USA): A mesmerizing new Lo-fi Dream Pop feel

KNOW is a new alternative band based in Los Angeles. The line-up is Husband and wife Jennifer Farmer and Daniel Knowles. You may know Daniel as a former member of Amusement Park On Fire (see our article).

Their music is a beauty of dream pop, sparkled with catchy melodies and clever sound.

Their music work to date is:

2019: 143, single

2020: Hold me like you know me, single (with a superb Music Video)

They are working on their first album and we can not as the first 2 singles are amazing. Discover the band and their music in this interview full of photos and music links to enter their musical realm.

Who are the group members?

JENNIFER: We are a husband and wife duo, Daniel Knowles and Jennifer Farmer. Dan does all of the recording, production, mixing/mastering and plays everything on the recordings. I sing and write lyrics.

How did you meet?

JENNIFER: We actually met when Dan’s old band, Amusement Parks on Fire was recording “Road Eyes” in Los Angeles. We had a lot of mutual friends and my friend Dave, who was in Film School at the time and now in a band called Nightmare Air, introduced me to APOF! Dan had broken his arm during the recording process and I had recently quit my job so we ended up having quite a bit of time for each other it turns out!

How did you come up with your name?

JENNIFER: I came up with it, Dan says he doesn’t remember this being the case but It’s just our last name “Knowles” minus the “LES.” I wanted it to just be KNOW and not “THE Know” but there was someone else using that at the time. We considered changing it last minute because it’s a very un-google-able and generic band name, but we couldn’t come up with anything else and I couldn’t bear to spell it “The Knovv” so we just kept it. If you want to find us, the best way is to google “wearetheknow” :) Probably would have been better off calling it "Japanese Beach Wavves"

What is your music about?

JENNIFER: A lot of our songs are personal. Stories about our relationship or our lives. There are a lot of specific details in the lyrics that are meaningful to us. For instance, in "143" the line "Emmy's broke but Gram's in town" - Emmy and Gram are our dogs (named after Emmylou Harris and Gram Parsons.)

What are your goals as an artist artistically/commercially?

JENNIFER: Obviously, it would be great to do this as a full-time career but we are nowhere near that point yet. I’d love to just really hone in on my vocal and songwriting skills and enjoy the process. Telling stories through lyrics and visuals are really important to me. Maybe David Lynch having us on Twin Peaks?!

What are you trying to avoid as a band?

JENNIFER: Boring Ourselves

Why do you make the music you make? Is it in you? Is it your environment?

JENNIFER: I’m pretty private about my personal life so it’s therapeutic to let some of that inner monologue out. I happen to have an amazing collaborator & husband by my side that makes it fun and easy.

What inspire you for the music or for the Lyrics?

JENNIFER: PERSONAL LIFE EXPERIENCES, CRATE DIGGING.

Tell us what you are looking when trying to achieve your sounds. Do you experiment a lot or have a clear idea of what you want?

DAN: A little of both, I know what I like and don't like, I certainly appreciate sounds that register as something a little out there to me. It generally starts with experimenting. I've had people comment about the keyboard sounds on 143 to me which is funny because 90% of the sounds on that song are guitars that have been heavily processed.

in general I just chain together and (mis)use effects or recording techniques until I hear something that interests me, once I do that becomes a part of the "sound" of the song. The way I have to play the guitar is also often informed by the sound itself and once I have one thing in place that interests me the rest tends to follow fairly logically. I used to layer a lot more sounds together to get a kind of smudged nondescript dense wall but these days I'm favoring finding just a few sounds that interest me, letting them lead the way and keeping the layering to a minimum

Explain your songwriting process.

DAN: There's been no one way, we just start somewhere and keep working until, for better or worse, it seems like we're done. The starting point is usually a chord change or sound I find interesting or a few lines and basic melody line Jennifer has sketched out. We then record pieces of it, see what we have and get on with it. If all else fails turn to Bran Eno's oblique strategies cards

Describe your palette of sound.

DAN: Guitars that sound like keyboards, keyboards that sound like guitars, open tunings, lots of effects chaining, reverb and distortion both play a part obviously, tuning and timing errors are welcome, I own some beaten up toms and a crappy snare so we usually play basic beats with them then heavily process them for a kind of Moe Tucker in the 80's sound! In general I like messy sounds, nothing too carved out and cleanly placed, things that overlap and smudge, contrasts between Hi Fi and Lo Fi etc

Who would you want as a dream producer, and why?

JENNIFER: Already have mine and he’s in the band!!

DAN: David Lynch or Tom Waits

What musical skills would you like to acquire or get better at?

JENNIFER: I actually CANNOT for the life of me play the tambourine. It makes NO sense to me so I’d like to learn how to do that.

DAN: I'm always impressed by a good Marimbist

Which other musician/artist would you date?

JENNIFER: The guy in my band who is the dreamiest and most talented of them all! :)

Is there a band that if they didn’t exist you wouldn’t be making the music you make?

JENNIFER: Giant Drag. I think I mostly learned to sing by listening to Hearts & Unicorns on repeat for like 2 years. Annie later became a good friend and is the one who encouraged me to start singing for real.

If you could guest on someone else’s album, who would it be and why? What would you play?

JENNIFER: We love The National and they have a lot of female singers they collaborate with so that'd be kind of cool! It'd be cool to do something with Jesus & Mary Chain too. Giant Drag opened for them once and Annie got to sing Just Like Honey with them!

DAN: David Lynch or Tom Waits. I'd play whatever they told me to.

You are from US/UK what are the advantages and inconvenient?

JENNIFER: We’re based in LA and Dan is from the UK. I think there are definitely more advantages than disadvantages to being in a major music city. The music industry is pretty much based in LA.

What are some places around the world that you hope to play with your band?

JENNIFER : It would be cool to play in my hometown, in Houston Texas since all of my family is there. Also, would love to tour Europe - they have some of the best festivals. I’d love to go back to Tokyo some day too.

When is the next album/EP due?

JENNIFER: We don’t have an exact date yet but SOON! March/April.

Some artists you recommend.

JENNIFER: Cults have a new record coming out and I’m really excited, huge fan of theirs! Also, been into Agnes Obel lately who has a record out soon. New FKA Twigs is great. Someone recently sent me Orville Peck and said he sounded like us with Roy Orbison on vocals. Fairly accurate and I dig it.

Anything else you want your fans to know?

We have a limited edition vinyl pre-sale our EP up on our website: www.wearetheknow.com and will have a limited edition CD available through Shoredive Records soon!