#it's fascinating to me that people think a woman who does not put her children first over everything is the worst thing a woman could be

[bbygirl-aemond]

rhaenyra was so wrong for looking alicent hightower, ALICENT HIGHTOWER, in the face and telling her "still you imagine you can have all you want"

i mean it definitely makes sense from rhaenyra's standpoint though. i took it to be referring to the time that alicent married viserys and still wanted to keep her friendship with rhaenyra as it had been before. obviously, we as the audience know that alicent didn't choose to marry viserys, but rhaenyra was a grieving teenager and it was easier to focus her betrayal towards alicent than towards her own father. this is even more true now, since rhaenyra is clinging to this idea that viserys was right to choose her and anything that undermines viserys's goodness also undermines that idea. (alicent very much also whitewashes viserys, which i've already talked about here.)

right now, alicent is futilely trying to find a way that she can have her cake and eat it too, based on the current situation. she wants to keep aegon alive, while also sparing helaena and jaehaera and herself and the realm future losses. but these things are only proxies for her true desires, which have been battling one another since season one.

from the beginning, alicent has wanted her suffering to have meant something, symbolized by putting aegon (the literal fruit of her suffering) on the throne; she wants the reward within the patriarchal system for what she has endured. simultaneously, she wishes to find actual happiness and freedom, symbolized by her younger self before the suffering took place (her childhood friendship with rhaenyra, her childhood freedom, even helaena is a proxy for alicent's younger self). this is the larger message about the patriarchy that hotd is telling; no amount of working within the system for whatever reward it grants you will actually be fulfilling to you. you cannot gain the freedom and happiness you desire while still perpetuating the system, because the system itself is what takes this from you. alicent's choice here is a daughter over a son, but it is also her happiness over the patriarchal system she's always been trapped within. and rhaenyra is right that she can't have both.

[thou-babbling-brook]

Maria Thorpe Character Analysis

Well, I simply can’t disappoint the people – aka, the five of you that will read this, lmfao. I’m so serious about this that I’m actually drafting this on a Google doc before I post this rather than just typing random thoughts on my phone. This is going to be a HUGE ramble that probably won’t make a ton of sense, but I hope it’s entertaining regardless. 

Maria Thorpe – a character that Ubisoft probably spent MAYBE thirty minutes thinking about, but that I have not stopped thinking about for like, five years. What a gal. So glad I was not in this fandom in 2012 to witness how HEINOUS people were about her for simply being a woman “in the way” of a M|M relationship. I hope by the end of this ramble, you, too, will see her for the baddie she truly is. 

In this essay, I will delve into Maria’s character to explore why she is so fascinating to me, the implications of her story, and why Ubisoft can actually catch these hands for dumbing her down in AC Revelations. (I'm putting a cut here because it's so fucking long I'm sorry gang)

First off, to understand Maria Thorpe as a character, you have to understand her background. I’m not going to copy and paste her Wiki or anything, but I am going to outline her life (stated and implied) before we meet her.

For those that don’t know, Maria was born an English noblewoman in 1161 – four years before Altaïr was born (okay cougar). Because she was a tomboy and defied many of the social norms for women in the 12th century, she was ostracized by both her parents and her peers. She mentions in The Secret Crusade that her parents tried to force her to conform, which culminated in her first marriage at the age of 18 to Lord Peter Hallaton. She mentions that he was a decent husband, but he didn’t exactly appreciate her more boisterous nature. After all, in 12th century England (especially among nobility), women were to be seen, not heard. She also failed his expectations as a chatelaine and a wife, as she bore him no children. The Bishop of Leicester granted them an annulment to avoid embarrassment to both Peter and Maria’s family. When she returned, she was “persona non grata” to her family and the whole of Leicestershire, especially when her father had already spent her dowry. With no other options, Maria ran away to join the Third Crusade, where she eventually met Robert de Salbé.

You may notice that we don’t actually know a lot about Maria and her life before AC1, which is probably intentional. To me, though, that’s what makes her backstory fascinating – the implications of her environment and what we can reasonably deduce she went through based on historical context. I think anyone who’s taken a seventh-grade social studies class could tell you women had, like, zero rights in 12th-century England – even more so, noblewomen. Maria was raised to be a glorified broodmare – say nothing, have children (two boys and a girl, as she jokes), and run her husband’s household. Clearly, she was the exact opposite of all of these things. Something interesting about Maria’s first marriage is the fact that while it was an annulment, she specifically mentions in The Secret Crusade it was an annulment to save her family further embarrassment – which implies that the marriage was consummated, but all parties wanted it done with. I don’t think I need to elaborate on how common and horrific an experience like that could be, but I think it fuels Maria’s relationship later on with motherhood, especially since she mentions that she was completely uninterested in childrearing and birth (this is a key point I’ll touch on later).

So what? Why does her background matter? It matters because of how historical and cultural context tie in to help form who she is by the time she leaves for the Third Crusade – a desperate, twenty-two-year-old woman, divorced, ostracized from the only family and society she has ever known, having no other choice than to ditch England and head for the Holy Land unless she wants to become a nun. For many men and women alike in the 12th century, this was their only opportunity to become something more than what they were born as, whether it be a serf, a blacksmith, or a noblewoman. Many who left for the Third Crusade left to “take back the Holy Land,” but also to escape or improve their current standings. To me, Maria falls in the second category, and it is this desperation to escape her life that forms her most notable (and later, tragic) characteristic: her undying loyalty.

As a side note, it is also interesting to me that Maria chose to be a soldier rather than a nurse. This is more so my characterization of her, but I think that’s because a) she’s too damn proud and loud to be a nurse, and b) because if she was a nurse, she would more than likely live and be treated the same way she was at home. Truly, if she wants to escape the patriarchy, the only way a woman like Maria could at the time was to join it by blending in. Girly get some therapy.

We’re now at AC1 in the timeline. Hooray! We don’t know when exactly Maria joined the Templars or when she first met Robert, but we can probably assume it was not long after she joined the crusade. As we know from AC1, AC Bloodlines, and The Secret Crusade, Maria disguised herself as a man (more than likely a young boy since she’s got a voice that would fit right into Alvin and the Chipmunks) and was able to keep up the rouse long enough to rise in the ranks and show promise to people like Robert. For Maria, when Robert finds out she is a woman and yet elevates her further, it is the first time in her life that someone has appreciated her for her masculine qualities. It is why she develops an intense loyalty for Robert to the point of being willing to be his decoy, despite the fact she fully anticipated dying. For Maria, it would be her ideal end – fighting to the death for a cause she truly believed in. Not even really a cause, as we figure out later, but more so for a man she truly believed in – Robert. It would not be through the pain and subjugation of childbirth like most women of her standing, but a brutal fight like any other man.

And yet – she doesn’t. When Altaïr meets her, he’s undergone a whole development arc, whereas Maria (at this point 30, which is SO funny to imagine her fistfighting this 26-year-old frat boy) is at the start of hers. And it starts with Altaïr sparing her – the worst possible fate that could become her at this point in her life. Think about it: the only person who has given her an OUNCE of respect has asked her to essentially die for him by acting as his decoy. As Maria mentions in AC Bloodlines, by this point, she is also a step away from becoming a knight – and at this point, she’s also known as a woman among the Templars. And yet, she believes they have become her family, and she is willing to die for their cause and for Robert. When Altaïr spares her and kills Robert, he’s sentencing her to the life she ran away from and feared – being nothing more than a woman who is looked down upon with condescending snarls and disgust for who she is.

This is why when we meet Maria in AC Bloodlines, she is rightfully PISSED. We literally see her realize that any ounce of respect and power she had is completely gone because Altaïr spared her. She is so pissed, in fact, that she tries to kill Altaïr again. This is even funnier when you remember how much of a BITCH it was to fight her in AC1, but I digress. Altaïr has destroyed everything she has built in her life for the last eight years. He has taken her home, her mentors, her family, and her honor. And bro doesn’t have a clue in the fucking world.

It’s at this point that I’ll also analyze more about Maria’s relationship with the Templars. At first glance, yes, she was a Templar and believed in their cause. Really, though, it goes far deeper than that. It’s not necessarily that Maria believes in their cause – otherwise, it would’ve taken a lot more for Altaïr to sway her to the Assassins – but that she believes in the people. Again, from Maria’s perspective, the Templars (especially Robert) were the ONLY people in her entire life to treat her with dignity, and she is willing to die for them. She is willing to throw her honor to the ground and beg for forgiveness in front of Bouchard because, without the Templars, she is nothing. She is back to square one as a silly little girl trying to run from a life that would only subjugate her. It’s that recurring characteristic of undying loyalty to those who have given her the life she has always wanted.

And for Maria, it is immediately spat back in her face.

When Bouchard takes over in AC Bloodlines, he is a strict Templar Grandmaster. No consorting with women, periodt. And he flaunts this over Maria, taunting her. He is tearing the last ounce of respect she’d ever received and throwing it away. Every sacrifice she made for the Templars for the last eight years meant nothing, and it is crushing to her. She continues to be pissed off at Altaïr, who mentions that she’s more pissed at the Templars than at him. Once again, she is nothing more than a woman – an imprisoned one at that.

This is where one of my favorite Maria scenes (not that there’s many) comes into play. When she and Altaïr are sitting on the ship to Cyprus or wherever it doesn’t matter, Altaïr does something that no person has done for her before: he treats her with unconditional respect. As funny as his autistic ramble about Empedocles and philosophy is, there are so many assumptions that go into Altaïr’s conversation that I think help sway Maria to his side. When he talks to Maria, he speaks to her as an equal. He talks to her about philosophy because of course she would know about philosophy in his mind – to him, she is a soldier and a person first, and a woman second (shut the fuck about The Secret Crusade and him thinking about her as a lioness shut up shut up I low key hate it even though it’s funny). He is the first person in her life to speak to her as an equal and with respect with no strings attached. In fact, when Maria taunts him for leaving her cuffed even as he talks about free will, he lets her go. She may not like him at this point, but after this scene, you can certainly see that she respects him in how she speaks to him. BONUS: she’s not trying to outright kill him anymore! Hooray!

You can see the impact Altaïr and his conversation had on Maria when she confronts Shahar in her courtesan fit. There’s so many layers to Maria willingly dressing in such an exposing, vulnerable, and feminine way (keep in mind this bitch is Catholic, I know her guilt was going crazy), but what I’m going to focus on is her conversation with Shahar. When he speaks to her, he is gross and all but catcalling her, calling her a “little fox” and using a sultry tone. Maria is having NONE of it, and one can only assume this is a tone she has dealt with a thousand times over. This is also where we see the gears turning in Maria’s head. I’ve seen people criticize Maria for how quickly she flip-flopped, but I think that’s overlooking the reason that she WAS a Templar – they were the only people who provided her a home when she had none. If you’re desperate for anyone to treat you with an iota of respect, you’d do whatever they ask. After she talks to Altaïr though, and especially after realizing Robert was simply manipulating her, she is questioning the Templars’ ideologies and realizing this is not what she wants. It low key is like Alicent in House of the Dragons right now – she’s shocked that fighting against women fucked herself over. Maria is similar in that sense – she thought that by being what the Templars wanted and fighting for what they believed, it wouldn’t come back to bite her in the ass. But it did. She’s a woman before she’s a Templar, and the ideology of the Templars would see her subjugated just as she was before. It isn’t until after Altaïr’s spiel about free will and the challenges it brings that she realizes she has other options.

And that’s ultimately what brings Maria to the side of the Assassins – realizing her errors in thinking and wanting a way to redeem herself. The Assassins are her second chance, which is ironic given how many stories after hers would follow this same format of second chances. But it isn’t just the ideology change, either. It’s Altaïr. No, she does not have undying loyalty by the end of AC Bloodlines, but he’s certainly earned her trust and respect. He’s treated her like any other person without ever holding power or loyalty over her head. He does not manipulate her or exploit her – he respects her, and he earnestly tells her of the creed’s ideologies not to lure her in, but because he genuinely believes in the idea of dispelling the illusions of the world and wants to share it with her, whether she becomes an Assassin or not. That is what turns Maria into an Assassin at the end of the day: his respect for her and his understanding of the creed. And despite their issues, Maria chooses to follow him to the ends of the earth.

Now we’re at a really funny part of Maria’s story: we know basically NOTHING about what happens in between AC Bloodlines and AC Reflections. We know that sometime after traveling to Masyaf, Maria and Altaïr became a couple. We know they married in 1195 and gave birth to Darim the same year. Two years later, they would traumatize Desmond Miles by fucking on top of a castle, which is so fucking funny and only supports my characterization of Maria as a gremlin, because who the fuck else would make their husband climb up a giant ass tower for sex? We know she officially became an Assassin and would beg Altaïr to stop looking into the Apple. We know she would join Altaïr and Darim to Mongolia to kill Genghis Khan. And that is all we know for an approximately 30-YEAR PERIOD.

While there’s a lot I could talk about in that gap, like Maria’s relationship with other Assassins, I’m going to focus on her relationship with motherhood. As we established earlier, Maria had ZERO interest in being a mother or giving birth. This is a personal headcanon but I do not care because it’s MY analysis and I can do as I please, but I feel like she would’ve dreaded childbirth, especially given how English nobility acted about it (e.g., how people treated it like a scandal or disease) and how it was the leading cause of death for women until the 20th century. Yet, despite this, she had not one, but TWO children. She was like one away from the goal, and even then Sef had two daughters so really she fulfilled it. But why? What changed that she would be willing to do the very thing she left England to avoid?

I think it goes back to the reason she was disinterested in it in the first place. Like Maria says in The Secret Crusade, she didn’t want to just be a mother or a wife. Her ideal husband would treat her like any other man, taking her hunting or whatever else bullshit medieval stuff they’d do instead of scrolling through TikTok. She never said she didn’t want to be a mother. I think her hesitance stems from the fact that she didn’t want to SOLELY be defined as a mother or a wife. With Altaïr, however, that fear is pretty much gone. Since the moment she met him, Altaïr has always treated her with respect and admired the things she was once shamed for. Her strength is valuable as an Assassin. Her bluntness keeps him in check. Her ideas are admired rather than ridiculed. To Altaïr, Maria is not just a woman or even just an Assassin. She’s a person with her own experiences and ideas and fears and strengths and dreams. He loves her for every aspect of herself that was once frowned upon.

I remember a while ago seeing a Tumblr post from ye olden days (like 2012) talking about how because menstrual cycles were extremely irregular back in the day due to medieval diets and exercise, Maria would have to purposefully chill out to regulate her cycle to become pregnant. What that implies is that she trusted Altaïr so much that she was willing to settle down and have children because she knew it would not influence how he treated or loved her. Personally, I think this is true of Darim, but that Sef was an accident because it’s funnier that way, but regardless, the point still stands. Maria getting pregnant and becoming a mother is the opposite of what she thought she would ever want, but because she loved and trusted Altaïr so much, she was willing to have a family with him because she knew it would not come to define her. I think that is unbelievably sweet.

We also don’t really see Maria interact with her children very often, which I think is a fucking shame. When she does interact with Darim (we never see her with Sef, though we do see her reaction to his death), Maria is always supportive and encouraging. Again, this is more my headcanon territory but I really don’t care because I can do what I fucking please, but Maria low key feels like a boy mom to me, but not in the weird Freud way, lmfao. Like we established earlier, Maria’s key trait is her loyalty. I think this loyalty would be extended to her children. We know she’s loyal to Altaïr (it ends up killing her), but I feel like it would go insane with her children. When she learns of Sef’s death in The Secret Crusade, this woman breaks down in tears instantly. WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE MOTHERLY RAGE WITH ABBAS, UBISOFT. WHERE WAS IT. Anyways.

Masyaf is a pretty cutthroat environment to raise a child, especially when you consider that Abbas is apparently lurking in the background scheming during Altaïr’s reign. Something I wish we learned more about (and something I just find fascinating in general) is the political environment of Masyaf. Altaïr implemented a lot of changes to the Brotherhood that faced backlash, one of the key ones being allowing women in the order again (ahem, Maria). I know Maria said she was uninterested in the politics of running a house, but I do think she’d kind of have to play her hand in politics in Masyaf, kind of how Altaïr realizes he’s not exempt from politics since he’s literally shaping them. If Maria wants her kids to be safe, especially as sons of the Master of the Assassins, she’s gotta play her cards well. This is why I think it does make sense for Maria to calm down after having children to be more similar to the Maria we see in AC Reflections and AC Revelations. She can’t just fight everyone like she did when she was relying solely on herself. Now, she has people relying on her, and I think it makes sense for her character to chill out more (though without losing her spunk) to ensure her family is safe.

For those that have ever watched Magnificent Century, basically think about how Hurrem went from fighting everyone to playing her cards wisely so her kids wouldn’t die or do stupid shit. That’s how I feel like Maria would be.

Something else that’s interesting about Maria to me is her relationship with Altaïr. Duh, you’re probably saying, but hear me out. We know that while she and Altaïr were inseparable during their marriage, there was one thing that strained it: the Apple. It makes sense why Maria would be so pissed off at it. She’s seen Altaïr control men’s minds with it. She’s seen how it takes him away for days at a time with its secrets, to the point she is begging him to throw it away. Back to the point about loyalty to her family, whereas Altaïr seeks knowledge, Maria just wants her family protected and safe because she loves them – including her dumbass husband. It’s ironic that the very thing she fought about with Altaïr is the thing that killed her.

So we’re finally at AC Revelations, and I am truly shocked that you’re still here. Kudos to you. At that final confrontation scene with Abbas, that loyalty for those she loves comes to a head. When Altaïr whips out the Apple, Maria begs and pleads him to stop, because she knows if he uses the Apple to control someone, he will only be proving Abbas’s point, which will only fuck them over. In The Secret Crusade, we also have Malik’s head on top of this scene to make it worse. Maria’s position is again one of desperation. Her son is dead, one of her best friends is now just a head, and her husband is about to go sicko mode. She is screwed and she knows it. What she doesn’t know is that she’s about to be stabbed by Swami (I’m going with the revelations version shut up) in a last ditch effort to stop Altaïr from using the Apple. Altaïr doesn’t listen to Maria, and it kills her. He kills her.

… SO I HAVE THOUGHTS.

I think Maria dying from the Apple makes sense, I do. That’s not my problem. My problem is how AC Revelations basically dumbed her down to this motherly, homely figure which is the like, ANTITHESIS of what Maria is. Where was the feminine rage??? You’re telling me this woman would not be about to SLAUGHTER someone after learning that Sef died?? You’re telling me she would just pull an AltaïR thiS iSn’T yOu???????? Are you so fucking for real right now??? It pisses me off because it nukes her character. While yes, it makes sense for her to be a much calmer woman and 67 compared to 30, this is still Maria. Don’t act like she and Altaïr don’t have fucking anger issues and be so fucking for real.

Here’s my ideal scenario for what should’ve gone down. I think once they pulled Malik’s head out, there should’ve been all-out chaos rather than this bullshit “We killed everyone loyal to Altaïr before he arrived.” Maria should’ve been right there with them with a sword out. Altaïr, in a desperate attempt to calm everyone down, would take out the Apple and try to control everyone. If you’ve seen the long ass discussion about how Revelations fucked up Altaïr’s character arc, this also helps remedy that because Altaïr is pulling out because of his arrogance in believing he can control the Apple. News flash: he can’t. Maria, while fighting for Altaïr, would somehow be killed either by the Apple or like similar to how Swami accidentally killed her. Something along those lines where it is Altaïr’s fault. That’s how she should’ve gone out, not some weird pick me bullshit.

Anyways. RIP Maria Thorpe you would’ve loved Crusader Kings 3.

I definitely missed some points about her character but this is already 7 pages long on Google docs so I am NOT writing anymore. God bless.

TLDR she's a baddie and I need her so so so bad

[blackjackkent]

Jaheira's office does indeed look completely overgrown, which is apropos to be honest.

There's several notes in here from various people regarding her investigations into the cult and the shadowlands prior to her departure to Last Light. Also a note from the Flaming Fist indicating that Rion and Jord have been helping to "settle street disputes" in a fashion the Fist disapproves of, and a clipping from the Baldur's Mouth Gazette relating to the Beloved Ranger statue (which was actually Minsc) disappearing.

There's a button operated by the pin Tate gave us on the side of her desk; it opens a pathway down into "Jaheira's Hideout" beneath the house.

Whoa.

There are quite a number of these traps set up. The Narrator informs us, on a passed arcana check, that these are attuned to the druid who set them - Jaheira - but that they can be overwhelmed by being hit with the same element.

I trust you implicitly, Jaheira, and also I can't figure out what pressure plate you're talking about. So I hope you're right. XD

At the bottom of the hill is... well, a sort of paradise.

A gorgeous green lagoon rounded with trees and plants and a run-down but sturdy house of wood and thatch. Next to it is a badger, labeled "Postmaster Badger", and several "Messenger Rats."

"The only patch of wilderness this city permits me," Jaheira says wistfully. "There ought to be supplies here to aid us."

"You know this place, Boo?" Minsc says indignantly. "Hmph. Minsc has never been invited."

Everything inside the house is trapped. XD I quicksaved aggressively while disarming everything because I was very afraid of exploding Jaheira's sanctuary by accident.

In disarming the traps, Hector finds a hidden door behind a bookshelf.

Jaheira reaches out and puts a hand on his arm before he can proceed. "Keen eye," she says quietly. "But if it's supplies you seek, weapons to aid in our fight - you won't find them behind that door." He can hear a sudden effort in her voice, one he knows all too well - the struggle against sudden emotion. "There is nothing back there of worth to anyone but me."

Hector looks at her thoughtfully. His curiosity is piqued, certainly, and it is a powerful force on its own - but more than that, he has been fascinated, over this past hour or so, at seeing beneath the brittle shell that Jaheira always presents to the world. "If it matters to you, it matters to me," he says earnestly.

She looks away from him, her eyes flicking rapidly around the room. "On my word," she mutters. "All you will find inside is dust, and the mouldering keepsakes of a much younger woman."

"Jaheira," Minsc rumbles gently. "Our friend has put their trust in us. Boo thinks it only right to return the gesture, no?"

For a moment, Hector thinks she is going to lash out, defensive-- but then she hesitates, and smiles ruefully. "You so rarely make a habit of being right, ranger, that it puts me ill at ease when you are." She sighs, looks back to Hector and nods. "Pass, then. Go on. See what it is a foolish old Harper thinks worth hiding away."

Hector holds himself still for a moment, giving her the chance to change her mind. He is curious, and he welcomes the chance to connect with her here-- but he will not push where he isn't wanted.

When she doesn't object, he leans over and pushes the bookcase aside.

It's an unassuming little area, really - no more than a dirt cave behind the house. A large chest, several display cases and crates and a table covered in scrolls.

-----

The table first, and the scroll on it:

"Rite of the Timeless Body," Hector says thoughtfully. "What's that about? I'd best ask Jaheira."

"I found a strange scroll in your sanctuary. Something about a 'timeless body'?"

She snorts. "The threat of spanking never kept the children from poking through my things. Why should it deter you." She glances at the paper on the table. "It is... a ritual. Or it describes one at least. Practiced by druids of certain esoteric circles. If they be learned and powerful enough, the practitioner of this ritual might slow their aging, extend their life well beyond its natural reach. In greener days, I might have been strong enough to do it. I might be yet, with the right preparations."

Hector blinks. "So you plan to do it?"

Jaheira hesitates, shrugs. "I make no plans. Only... contingencies." She scowls, seeing the expression on his face. "Do not look at me like that. I have been content to see the span of my natural years - a privilege far too few in this world can claim. I do not speak of clinging to life for its own sake. I just... look back on that life's work and I wonder... is it done?"

She lets out a heavy breath and leans against the wall of the building behind them. "The Dead Three plague the world still. The city still falls prey to small minds like Gortash or lost souls like Orin. It is every Harper's hope to be a light that drives out darkness. But I've lived long enough to see so many of those lights burn out, while the shadows cling stubbornly on. Knowing that, isn't it our duty to burn on if we can? To fight for as long as we are able?"

Karlach gives a sudden, sharp laugh at Hector's side. "You're preaching to the doomed choir, ma'am," she says sardonically.

Jaheira smiles sadly. "You've done more than your share of fighting already, Karlach," she says. "If there is one person I would trust to make the most of a longer life, it is you."

Hector knows he shouldn't ask, he knows it isn't fair with Karlach standing right there to hear him... but the words slip out anyway. "Would you live on at any cost?" he asks.

She quirks an eyebrow at him. "In truth, I had put this ritual from my mind - until Last Light. Trapped in that darkness, I turned to my research again. What if I was a little stronger? As fast as I once had been?" She shrugs. "Then you came, and made the question moot. But I kept this. Just in case, I told myself. A final resort. Perhaps you were not the savior you seemed. I had learned better than to think of life as some simple tale, after all. There is no guarantee of happy endings, or true heroes."

She looks at him thoughtfully for a moment before going on. "I believe that still. But when I look on all we have achieved since, I wonder... perhaps it is not heroes we need. Only people who are willing to try. I do not know what manner of story that makes. But I do know that, without an ending, it would be no story at all." She gives a short, sharp nod. "So I will accept mine, when and however it comes. As for this city's story, well..." She grins suddenly, pockets the scroll. "Well, that is entirely your problem now, cub."

He smiles slightly. "I'm honored you think of me that way."

"Hah. Do not thank me for slinging a weight around your neck," she says dryly. "I might start to feel bad." She huffs out a breath and shakes her head. "I do mean what I say - but I am also a Harper. In every honeyed word, there is a hook. But I do not plan on going anywhere just yet."

She pauses, and then grins with gallows humor. "And besides, you still have a tadpole in your skull. You are almost certainly going to die first."

Hector doesn't really think that's particularly funny.

-----

(A/N: Time for some incredibly self-indulgent headcanon - in this worldstate and in my particular headcanons for Jaheira post-BG2, you cannot convince me that she didn't obtain the information on that ritual partially for Rasaad, knowing she was going to outlive him by a century and not wanting to face losing another man she loved. Though I think the more altruistic explanations for her wanting it still also applied. (And perhaps Rasaad wouldn't have accepted it anyway even if she'd been able to figure it out.) She does say she put it aside for quite a while, until Last Light. Probably after Rasaad died.)

-----

Throwbacks!

There are two Very Rare quality weapons in the chest opposite the table:

This is a scimitar first found in a haybale near the Druid's Grove outside Trademeet, in Baldur's Gate 2.

This staff is obtained in Watcher's Keep in the Throne of Bhaal expansion. Caden (to my recollection) never went there during my playthrough, but that doesn't mean he didn't while I wasn't paying attention. ;) Cespenar also apparently can upgrade it in the pocket plane.

I miss Cespenar. I hope he's doing well.

-----

Finally, at the back of the room is a slightly dusty-looking display case.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Aw man, c'mon, I just teared up. You can't hit me with a throwback like that and expect me to remain normal.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This is the necklace that Khalid makes for Jaheira (if you help him) in the Siege of Dragonspear expansion between BG1 and BG2. He was incredibly cute about it and talked about how he declared his love for her for the first time. SHE was incredibly cute about it and talked about how lucky she was to have him. The item description was also incredibly cute and talked about how just wearing it revitalized her.

HNNNNGNNNGHHHH I NEED TO GO LIE DOWN.

*quiet wailing*

We can ask her about it further, too.

"About that amulet I found in your house..."

"Oh dear," she says, looking at him warily. "Should I brace myself for some fashion advice?"

She pauses, then sighs. "But I suppose you have earned better than glibness from me. It was a gift from my husband, Khalid."

He can hear the emotion that rockets through her with the single word. He is sure he sounds much the same when he speaks of Karlach.

"He was a Harper," she goes on. Her expression grows distant, lost in memory. "A better one than me, truth be told. Any idiot can swing a sword. But to believe in the cause, with the whole of your heart? A much trickier thing."

She draws a breath and lets it out shakily. "He died. Alone, in pain, and far too young. Murdered by a mage who craved immortality." A muscle works in her cheek. "I'll not grant it by naming him in the same breath as my husband."

[HISTORY] Recall what you know of Khalid.

Narrator: The quiet, unassuming shadow to Jaheira's strength, Khalid was another warrior who helped end the Bhaalspawn crisis. Shortly after, he was murdered by the mad mage Jon Irenicus.

Hector and Jaheira have spoken of this a little before. Jaheira first mentioned him in the context of Karlach's engine, and the impending similar loss that Hector faces himself. In that moment, and in this one, he felt and feels a sudden deep surge of connection with her, a terrible bond that steadies and reassures him even if he wishes neither of them had to bear it. He is not alone, and neither is she. He hopes his presence gives her similar solace.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I hope I didn't bring up any bad memories."

She smiles weakly. "Nothing that wasn't already there, fear not," she says. "But I've lived many lifetimes since Khalid died. You, ah..." She trails off before the slight shiver in her voice can take root and blossom into tears. "You twine your life around the people you love. And when they are gone, you grow around their absence instead. It is just another way they shape you..."

She swallows, then goes on suddenly louder, faster-- "Which is my sage way of saying... I am in no danger of forgetting how my husband died. But I choose to remember how he lived."

(A/N: God, the writing in this game is gorgeous.)

Hector wonders, briefly, what Karlach thinks of this conversation, but he does not dare to look at her, or that same emotion will rise into his own throat and choke him. Instead, he focuses on Jaheira, listening intently. I choose to remember how he lived. "Tell me something about him no one else knows," he says, tone deliberately light.

She gives a slight laugh. "Most Harpers swagger and flash their feathers to catch your attention. Khalid was of a quieter sort," she says. "I have never known a warrior who would go so far out of his way to avoid a fight. Which meant the few he chose were usually the right ones." She pauses, and then laughs again, shakier this time. "And when we were married... on an upturned cart in the rainy Dalelands... he stammered so much, I've never been sure if our vows actually counted."

Hector smiles. "You seem an odd pairing," he says, gently teasing.

Her eyes narrow, taking on a sudden almost playful air. "The druid in me would like to say it was a thing of balance. The younger woman recalls rather more about a fine bottom-- and the habit not to speak unless he had something to say."

This comment is so unexpected that it startles a laugh out of Hector - and he's relieved to hear Karlach laughing too, behind him. Jaheira looks rather pleased with herself at the reaction.

"The songs make much of Khalid's meekness," she goes on after a little while, more seriously. "The quiet little Harper who had to keep a tight hold on his courage. But he had it when it counted. And more than that-- he had compassion. When you live a Harper's life, see all that a Harper sees, that is by far the harder thing to hold onto."

She looks down at the aquamarine pendant in her hands, then slips it around her neck. "But a bard can tell you all the rest," she says, turning away. "As for all the things they cannot... well. I shall just have to keep those for myself."

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

Am I the only person who doesn’t like Wonder Woman and thinks she is, in fact, a Mary Sue? I haven’t read or watched much with her in it so maybe I’m just basing my opinions on one Wonder Woman book I read where I thought she was written poorly.

But I don’t know. She’s literally everything a modern woman is supposed to be (sexy, strong, righteous, soft, etc.) and she never struggles. She’s always right, she never makes mistakes, and she’s very boring to me as a result. I haven’t seen the recent film, but I dislike the fact that they made her love babies. A lot of pressure is put on women to love babies/children and/or want one of their own, and if a woman doesn’t like or want them then she’s seen as a cold, callous bitch. So to me, that part seems like the writers put it in thinking ‘see she’s not an evil man hating feminist you guys, she loves babies!’

Idk. I know she’s seen as THE role model for women and girls but I just can’t understand her appeal. What exactly do you like about her?

Hello there!

As someone who grew up with a lot of Wonder Woman content, I have to personally disagree!

Like any major superhero, Wonder Woman gets a lot of good content and plenty of bad content, too.

Yes, she's idealized - but almost all superheroes are idealized. Superman is literally a mirror of the philosophical concept of the "Ubermensch," a term coined by Nietzsche meaning "superman" and describing an ideal human being. By this standard, he could also be described as a Mary Sue!

But just being beautiful, powerful, and good does not a Mary Sue make. These idyllic superheroes work well when they're put in circumstances that challenge them. It's fascinating to see characters that seemingly embody the highest reaches of human potential pushed to their limits, when we see that they too have flaws and weaknesses that they can overcome through perseverance.

You say that she "never struggles," but a good Wonder Woman writer knows that she NEEDS to struggle to be interesting. In shows like the animated Justice League and Justice League Unlimited, she and all the other major heroes are put in situations that challenge them on every level - physical (like fighting literal gods) and emotional (being banished from her home for bringing men to the island).

And also funny scenarios that put them at disadvantages, like being turned into children or a pig that then must be chased through the city by Batman (yes, both real episodes) that humanize them and show that they're not invulnerable.

For the more recent, live action movies, I liked the first Wonder Woman but not the second. I personally liked the fact that she was excited to see a baby, especially in the context that there were no babies on her island, because women are often expected to reject feminine characteristics to be strong.

I see your point, but I also have a different view regarding children: I think a lot of the oppression experienced by women is also experienced by children, and children are frequently dehumanized.

Not everyone who says they don't like kids is a bad person - I know plenty of great people who say they don't like kids - but I'm not really comfortable with the concept of disliking an entire group of human beings. Children have such varied personalities, just like any other group.

Granted, most people who say they don't like kids don't mean they dislike ALL kids, but it's still a sentiment I don't really like from a cultural standpoint.

As for women who don't WANT kids, I agree - it's deeply messed up that many people don't see women as complete or fulfilled unless they have kids. But (though it's been a while since I've seen it) I don't recall Wonder Woman in the 2017 movies planning to have children of her own. Plenty of women like children without intending to have them, myself included.

Again, though, I do see your point that the writers may have been trying to soften Wonder Woman in the eyes of the audience by having her love babies.

I still prefer that over the original Joss Whedon script, where a little girl at one point asks her to get a cat down from a tree (I think. Perhaps it was a lost toy) and Wonder Woman callously tells her to get it herself. To me, that plays into a sexist stereotype that women must reject all feminine attributes in order to be strong.

The sequel film, on the other hand, really embodies how NOT to write Wonder Woman in every way: largely exempt from moral criticism, inherently better than those around her, and with few meaningful challenges that aren't solved through plot convenience. She isn't "always right," however, because another flaw in that film's plot is the fact that she's learning a vague and contrived lesson of not cheating to get what she wants, though that's never explored in any way that feels human or applicable.

To conclude, I'll reiterate -- and this is just my opinion -- Wonder Woman is done GREAT when written by someone who understands the appeal of the character. Her idyllic characteristics apply to most superheroes, and can work great if the person writing her knows how to challenge her. I don't mind when she has feminine characteristics, and I love when all superheroes love kids, male and female. And last but not least, Justice League and Justice League unlimited reign supreme in terms of superhero content.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to ramble and spill my potentially controversial opinions!

[suzannahnatters]

I have finished watching MR SUNSHINE, and there was so much that I loved about this prestige kdrama. The writing of the heroine was SO good in how it discussed and defied some of the worse kdrama-heroine tropes. There was amazingly trenchant and deeply nuanced social criticism, gorgeous cinematography, lots of fascinating history, the warmest and most positive depiction of Christianity I've ever seen in a kdrama, men who drink respect women juice, the beautiful and angsty Gu Dong-Mae, FABULOUS period clothing, and rivals in love learning to put aside their differences in favour of shooting imperialists.

But the show has a major flaw - a flaw that was particularly interesting to me, because it's the precise sort of flaw that I would be most prone to. The screenwriter, who does such brilliant work in so many other ways, is clearly most fascinated by the themes and symbolism she keeps bubbling away in the story's subtext. The problem is that these themes and symbolism - which delightfully clever - are not actually supported by the storytelling, and particularly by the characterisation.

And it's a really fun, rich, resonant bit of symbolism: Ae-Sin is not just a character in the story, she's the living embodiment of Joseon Korea. She's beautiful, desirable, noble, privileged, gradually awakening to a life of hardship and struggle and resistance. Each of the three male leads in the story has a different complicated relationship with her. Eugene has run away from Korea, but returning as an adult cannot help falling in love with the land and the people in defiance of the nobility who mistreated him as a boy. Gu Dong-mae was horribly oppressed by his homeland but cannot help loving it anyway; the Korea which oppressed both men also saved their lives through small acts of kindness. And finally, Hee-Sung, Korea's richest son, is her approved betrothed, but past injustices committed by his family against the people Ae-Sin cares about stand between them. The three men fall in love, not with Ae-Sin, but with their homeland. They express their love for the woman by sacrificing themselves for the homeland; in dedicating themselves to her, they cannot help dedicating themselves to the fight for freedom.

This is why the story had to have a sad ending. None of these men can espouse the whole country; they can only die for her, while Ae-Sin - Korea itself - lives on, alone and victorious, even in exile.

This symbolism is itself delightfully rich, deftly painted, and rewarding to think back upon once you see it. There's only one problem: it doesn't. make. sense.

From the very start of the show, I felt a little impatient with the writing because the relationships between the heroine and her three suitors are so poorly developed. The feelings come out of nowhere. Take Gu Dong-Mae, for instance: he last met this woman when she saved his life as children. Now, it just takes a brush of her dress across his fingers to get him pining madly for her. Hee-Sung, after avoiding her for the best part of a decade, gets one glimpse of Ae-Sin at the washing-line and just like that conceives an undying passion for her. The central relationship, between Ae-Sin and Eugene, doesn't fare much better. The problem is that the story demands each of the male leads to sacrifice himself for Ae-Sin by the end of the show, and I simply couldn't understand why they should. They all have multiple other women pining for them, and Ae-Sin doesn't give two of them the slightest encouragement to hope. I wanted them so badly to find happiness with one of the other women, and they never did.

What MR SUNSHINE needed was not primarily rich and complex symbolism - it was believable characterisation and relationship development. As it was, the lack of substance to the relationships cheapened the grand historical tragedy which was being told. When at the climactic moment the last of the three leads sacrifices himself for the heroine, it felt cheesy and unintentionally funny, rather than tragic.

I loved so much about this story, but the heart of it never clicked for me, and it's a crying shame that with all that budget and talent, it wasn't better written. And that, for me, will be the central tragedy of MR SUNSHINE.

[atopvisenyashill]

general thoughts

calling this episode baelor is kinda inspired actually.

SEAN BEAN EMMY CAMPAIGN WHEN???

if looks could kill, walder frey would have died when he threatened to turn them over to the lannisters omg there is pure hate in her eyes

the actor for aemon does a good job wjth this scene. the “even the little children” and the way his face shakes when he says “you will live with it the rest of your days…as i have” devastating thanks

sansa looks so relieved when ned starts to confess because she thinks this means he’ll be spared and sent to the wall and live. she has no idea what’s coming. then, arya looking around in horror that the entire crowd is yelling for her father's death, because she has no idea how little the common people care about this sort of shit. they want a show, that's all. what is that man's death to them. nothing.

the scenes with osha and bran are always so good. they have such a great dynamic, every word she speaks to him is so soft, almost reverent. not a kneeler but she adores this little boy and she’ll play along with his silly little ways and lug him around and calm his nightmares, and pray to the gods that he doesn't have the gifts she suspects he does because she knows better than anyone else at Winterfell that his gifts are a burden.

it's a shame that isaac got so big so fast because i deserved more scenes of osha just carrying bran around on her hip omg.

i love that this bard can’t help but put his whole heart into those high notes even knowing that joffrey is insane and unstable. i also love that joffrey makes a crack about ilyn payne’s tongue when ordering the bard's tongue taken out. demented little shithead.

and he IS just a little shithead at the end of the day because his face falls when sansa refuses to react, and he’s so mad when she's able to bite back at him. he doesn't get the reaction he wants, and he throws a tantrum at her as a result.

anyways I'M FINISHED WITH SEASON 1 BABEEEEE. took me long enough lol. i think it's a solid season of tv but it has the exact same faults as hotd frequently has which is making the "narrators" men, and especially kings way too goddamn often. renly's story arc should have been from loras' pov. the argument with robert about aerys should have been barristan's pov. they do a great job showing us sansa and arya's povs regularly, but you can see the cracks starting to show already because catelyn, tyrion, and dany are vastly different from the jump and they cut out all the prophecy/fever dream stuff except when they have to include it like bran's dreams or the dragons. it SUCKS. it's a FANTASY SHOW WHY WOULD YOU CUT ALL THE FANTASY ELEMENTS. STOP GIVING FANTASY SHOWS TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE FANTASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

changes i noticed

okay now we are getting into what i feel is the first purposeful change - shae. well i suppose renly counts here too? whatever. anyways. she’s clearly older, closer to peter’s age, she doesn’t play act at being a sweet naive girl in love; she’s unimpressed, snarky, sultry, clearly hiding something. she unsettles tyrion right away because she’s so hard for him to pin down but that’s why he’s interested in her, because he finds her fascinating, challenging. of course in the end, the parts of her that he finds most interesting are why this would never work - shae is not a woman who can hold her tongue when she doesn’t approve of something and that’s a deadly trait for a lowborn mistress to have, so they were always going to have to leave KL if they wanted to be together BUT tyrion can never leave these people, not really, and as it goes on, he just gets more and more dug in - he’s gonna die here on this continent involved in these people’s lives and there is nothing she can offer him to sway him from this path.

i think i understand wanting to have more uncomplicated romances in the series to appeal to a general audience, but i do think you have to come around to saying something similar with that romance. i think the problem here is that by itself, tyrion being unable to listen to the woman he loves pleading with him to just Leave before it’s too late, and then it’s too fucking late, it maybe gets tyrion to roughly the same point as him being purposefully obtuse to how unhappy and unsafe shae feels with him in the books, but the thing is. that’s not how it goes lmao so we have this great set up where tyrion and shae are more equal in their relationship but their relationship ending is ultimately completely tyrion's fault and shae is simply trying to exist in the world after the man she loves abandons her, except they put that stupid little knife in her hand and had her testify against sansa. i am already mad. alsjdfk.

WHATEVER, i think the actress who plays shae is really good. kind of similar to jacob anderson in that she's putting this whole story together out of nothing and doing a great job, and doesn't always get the recognition she deserves.

i think emilia and iain have unfortunatley great chemistry. when she cups his cheek and goes "is that what you think will happen" before she walks into the fire. it's really good and clearly romantic and i hate that they made this change to jorah. i can't even think of him as jorah most of the time.

[51kas81]

Rupert Mannion comes up as “The Devil” in his ex-wife’s phone. Really, can you blame her? The guy dumped her, claimed he didn’t want children, and then married another woman with the same name … and then had a daughter. But Ted Lasso’s third season made the case for just how inherently villainous Rupert was capable of being, beyond vacationing with his “dear friends” the Sacklers. He’s hit by unsavory allegations of sexual impropriety, has no issue continuing his cheating ways behind closed doors, and then, in the finale, shoves his team’s coach to the ground when he refuses to play dirty on the pitch — losing his precious West Ham United in the aftermath. It’s all so diabolical, his name might as well be Rupert Minion.

Anthony Head, who was “scared of being a spoiler” throughout the season, thinks it’s a hoot that Rupert was Ted Lasso’s only character to regress back to his old ways. He’s also pleased that viewers got to see a little bit more humanity in Rupert at certain points in the narrative, which made his 360-degree turn back all the more satisfying. “A lot of us are very insecure,” Head explains. “So it’s such fun being able to play someone else who isn’t.”

I know we have more important matters to discuss, but can we start with Rupert’s Darth Vader–esque coat? It exuded authority and you looked fabulous in it.

Well, thank you. At the end of season two, when Rupert gets Nate onto his side, Jason Sudeikis whispered into my ear that there was something similar to the Emperor and Darth Vader, and how the Emperor brought Darth Vader onboard. I then whispered that same thing into Nick Mohammed’s ear. Wearing a coat like that is wonderful. When you walk away, you know you’re flowing and have a cloak behind you. It was a fun little twist to put in there.

Your character ends Ted Lasso as the sole villain who doesn’t get a redemption. This is a pretty pointed narrative decision, since the show made great effort to transform the behaviors of a lot of unlikeable people. Are you happy with this outcome?

Yes, I am. I loved episode ten, the Super League scene, where the whole thing with Rupert and Rebecca happens. You can see part of the younger Rupert, how they fell in love, and the relationship they had. What I found fascinating about the whole deal was, for me, it was about playing someone with a heart and soul who sometimes might get viewers to manifest into thinking he might work out. But then, no. Let’s have a spinoff series.

What does this man’s heart and soul look like?

He’s a narcissist. Jason and I were talking about how there are elements of him being a sociopath. It’s like everything in the show: It’s based on how characters have grown and have been built. It may have been his childhood or his teenage years. When I got the part, I decided to make Rupert an entrepreneur who had money early on, probably from the telecommunications boom in the ’80s and ’90s. It made him into a rich man, but not somebody who was necessarily productive. He’s very good at seeing things and making people feel enriched.

It seemed like Rupert was heading toward a good light in the final few episodes, but then he implodes in such spectacular fashion during that final Richmond game. How did you want to approach this loss of control so it didn’t seem unbelievable?

I played it with the feeling of being displaced. His sexual behavior, which he always thought he could get away with, was suddenly in the light. It was a very clever piece of writing that Miss Kakes and Bex, his wife, come together and go to Rebecca. People like Rupert, thankfully, are less and less these days, but they still get away with a lot of stuff. I wanted to play it like he finally realized he wasn’t going to get away with it. That’s the core: He’s lost it and he doesn’t know how he’s going to be able to pull it back together.

There was a quote earlier in the season from Rebecca that has stuck with me: “Rupert always gets what he wants.” We’ve primarily seen that in a material sense, both what he owns and his choice in trophy wives. But how do you think that applies to a level of fulfillment? What does he want out of life itself?

There are a lot of people out there who think about others, How could you do that? Why would you do that? How is that going to be good for anyone? But they believe the world revolves around them. If he wants Miss Kakes, he’ll get Miss Kakes. He’s bored with Bex because she’s dealing with his [daughter] now. It’s hard to say what he wants, because he just wants to win. He thinks that winning Nate over is giving him a flashy car and giving him a beautiful woman to have an affair with. He doesn’t really think twice about anything. He just assumes he’s right.

The whole thing with narcissism is until a narcissist actually owns it, they don’t know who they are. It’s a mental journey. The whole show is about the way that we’re all becoming who we are. We shouldn’t be scared of building and learning. That’s what makes life. But someone like Rupert isn’t going to go through that. He’ll probably feel like he’s been prosecuted and singled out. He’ll say Miss Kakes came on to him.

Are you of the opinion that he never fell out of love with Rebecca?

There’s probably a little bit of love lurking. But it goes back to him wanting to have power. I don’t think he ever thought to himself, Oh, I wish I had Rebecca back. But perhaps he thought he could win her back one day if he needed to.

I had a nice conversation with Nick last week, and he told me about the discussions he had with Jason about the direction of his character over the course of this season. Did you also feel it was necessary to get further reasoning from the writers about Rupert’s behavior?

It’s not necessary for me. You play what you feel. A number of people were always on set, and if they had an idea, they would come out and say, “Well, what about this?” Jason would throw in all of these nuances and explain where a line would come from, because some lines had come from a place of authenticity in his life. I didn’t feel like, Oh, I need to talk this over. If someone wanted to, I was very happy to do so. I remember several years ago I went to an acting school in Los Angeles called Beverly Hills Playhouse. The teacher’s whole ethos was: The words will take care of themselves. Just play the emotions. Try them out in the air. When you get a whisper in your ear, “Why don’t you try it?” you should respond, “Okay.” If you leave yourself open to that, it doesn’t restrict you in any way.

Nick’s journey was more specific and potentially more complex. I can understand why he wanted to know further details. But with Rupert, the course was cleverly set. Him dropping out of sight was essential. You kept thinking to yourself, Where’s Rupert? Sometimes you feel things are played on-camera so the audience can see it all. But here, it didn’t all play on-camera. Not all is said. The show asks us to have a thought about that.

The last time we see Rupert is him being taunted by a “wanker” crowd chant as he leaves the pitch —

The American word is “jerk,” isn’t it? But it’s not as powerful as “wanker.”

And a newspaper headline a few days later confirms he was ousted at the club. What would’ve been your ideal ending for him if this wasn’t it?

I thought he might go down for fraud. Something that would undermine the core of his business. Because there has been a bit of that. People who have lots of money can be pulled to that sort of thing.

[melestasflight]

... then Findekáno released his friend from his chains and saved him

tagged by @grey-gazania and @last-capy-hupping to share a snippet from my fics.

Here, Aredhel is in Estolad and tells the tale of Maedhros' rescue to the children of the House of Marach. Part of To Find a Home in the Twilight

It is easiest with the children, because children are children, be they of the Noldor, the Sindar, or the Edain. She is amused by how they follow her around everywhere. The littlest ones slap their hands over their giggling mouths as Aredhel moves her ears on purpose. The older ones are fascinated by her skill with weapons, especially Marach’s young sons, Malach and Imlach, who spend afternoons on end watching Aredhel carve wooden arrows for her bow.

But the bravest among them is a girl who is often in their company. There’s something about her observant eyes and neatly braided golden tresses that summons Idril’s image as a child, so when the girl comes to join them, Aredhel wastes no time in pursuing this friendship.

‘My name is Írissë,’ she puts her hand on her heart.

‘I know. Everyone talks about you,’ the girl responds in flawless Sindarin, taking her seat between Aredhel and Marach’s boys. ‘I am Zimrahin. Mama says that if I want to become a Wise-woman, I should learn the stories of the Elves. Will you tell me a story?’

Zimrahin has no qualms about being forward about what she wants. She resembles Idril in this also.

‘It would be my honor, my lady Zimrahin. What kind of story would please you on this fine day?’

Three voices at once answer Aredhel’s question.

‘A story about friends,’ says Zimrahin.

‘An adventure!’ says Malach.

‘A scary story,’ jumps in little Imlach with twinkling eyes.

With the criteria established, Aredhel does not have to think long. She chooses everyone’s favorite.

‘This tale is very famous among the Elves,’ she begins, ‘and rightfully so, because it is a tale about the bravest Prince in Beleriand.’ The answering smiles confirm it is the right choice, and Aredhel continues. ‘Long ago, before the Sun and Moon rose in the sky, there lived a Prince across the Great Sea whose name is Findekáno.’

‘Before the Sun and the Moon? That is a long time ago!’ Zimrahin exclaims. ‘How old is Findekáno?’

‘This winter, he shall turn two thousand six hundred and sixteen years old.’ Aredhel purposefully stretches out the numbers, waiting for six little eyes to widen in astonishment. She is not disappointed. ‘But, if you were to meet him, he would look no older to you than your fathers. Anyway, Findekáno had a best friend, Maitimo, and they were rarely apart in their youth, traveling and studying together every moment they could. There was great love between them.’

Aredhel lowers her voice for this next part, ‘But one day, a very powerful Dark Lord got jealous of the friendship among the Elves and decided to ruin their joy.’

‘It must be Morgoth, the Great Enemy,’ says Malach, unperturbed. The Edain, it seems, do not spare their children from the woes of their people.

‘Yes, it was Morgoth before anyone knew him for who he was. He spread many lies, causing strife among Findekáno and Maitimo’s families. But ever more intent on evil, he also stole the Light of the World and took it to his dark fortress in Angband.’

Seeing how her audience does not blink in anticipation, Aredhel carries on, deciding what parts should be skipped in a story for children. ‘Maitimo was brave and decided to cross the Great Sea and take back the Light of the World, but Morgoth captured him and took him to his fortress also.’

‘Did he die?’ Little Imlach squeaks and Aredhel does her best to ignore the shiver that runs down her spine.

‘No, he was very strong, and when Findekáno discovered that his friend had been captured, he decided to go and rescue him. He left in the middle of the night, alone, with very few things, and went to Morgoth’s fortress.’

‘Did he carry a weapon?’ Asks Imlach again.

‘He most certainly did. A very fine bow of yew.’

‘Was he not scared?’

‘Imlach, if you do not stop asking questions, we will never hear the end,’ his older brother gently reprimands him.

‘He was scared,’ Aredhel answers the question anyway, ‘but he knew he must save his friend and reunite their people. Now, the Moon and the Sun had risen up in the sky, and all of Morgoth’s creatures were scared of the light. Findekáno used this to hide and climb high on Thangorodrim, but try as he might, he could not find Maitimo. Then, in defiance of the Orcs, he took his harp and sang a song that his grandmother had taught him in Valinor.’

‘Why did he have a harp with him on the Dark Mountain?’ Comes from Imlach again.

‘Imlach!’ Both Malach and Zimrahin exclaim at once, shushing the little boy so he does not interrupt the story yet again, for which Aredhel is grateful because she herself still fails to understand why Fingon had decided to take a harp of all things.

‘In any case, Findekáno sang and suddenly, above him, someone answered his song. It was Maitimo, who was chained to the mountain by Morgoth. But Findekáno still couldn’t find a way to his friend, and he was very sad, so he prayed to the Vala Manwë, who is most merciful. Manwë sent Thorondor, the King of Eagles, the mightiest of all birds that have ever been.’

‘Thorondor allowed Findekáno to climb on his back and brought him up to Maitimo. Then Findekáno released his friend from his chains and saved him. Once returned, they renewed their friendship and they are now great Lords among the Elves: Fingon, Prince of Hithlum, and Maedhros, Lord of Himring. They fought Morgoth together and locked him in his fortress so that he can never leave again!’

As the story ends, many voices cry out in excitement unanimously, and Aredhel finally notices that many have gathered to hear the tale, young and old.

‘One day, I will go and fight the Morgoth with Prince Fingon,’ Malach says with determination.

‘And when I grow up, I will go and join Lord Maedhros,’ Imlach rises and swings the wooden toy sword he always carries with him.

Marach comes then to gather his young warriors and winks at Aredhel playfully. ‘But to do that, my sons, you must first sleep and grow tall and strong.’

‘What of you, Zimrahin?’ Aredhel asks the girl as they remain by themselves. ‘Would you like to see the kingdoms of the Elves?’

Zimrahin chews her lower lip as she thinks. ‘I like being home and listening to stories,’ she says at last, simply.

Someone calls Zimrahin’s name, and the girl places a wet kiss on Aredhel’s cheek before she scurries away.

I like being home. Aredhel sits with the thought for a long while, even as the people around her scatter and the village falls dark and quiet. She thinks of her brothers, her friends, and all the places she has called home.

For the first time since leaving Gondolin, Aredhel begins craving a home.

A home of her own.

[florisbaratheons]

Anyone else annoyed with the foreshadowing stuff for team black using the team green stuff. I mean im annoyed...(I feel like I'm in the minority but i want to tell still...you can ignore this if it is dumb)

1. Why are they making a big deal out of creepy!viserys refusing milk of poppy and sticking it out for his "only child" when in the books he is just obese and goes out that way. I'm annoyed coz this is aegons main plot point and was the few things i liked about him (his bond with sunfyre was another) : that he wants to be there for his family and milk of poppy numbed his senses so much that he lost so many and doesn't want to lose the remaining people he has by being unconscious eventhough he is in severe pain.

2. Vhagar roared and was super pissed when aemond lost his eye: they just ignored that and when rhaenyra gave birth to visenya they put a scene for her (which to me did not look aesthetically in place/ bad cgi maybe?), when it is known that syrax-rhaenyra bond is not that special...syrax even killed her son (i think the show will ignore and change this 🙄)

3. Laenas death scene: why the hell did they put that dumb "i want a dragonriders death by burning alive"??? No one says so in the books. It was the worst thing especially since she is a black woman in the show and they kill her violently and in the books where she is a white woman she has such a beautiful scene with her husband. Why can't they let her have a peaceful scene like that? Of course i feel it is to show rhaenyra in the end when she gets eaten/burnt (which i think they'll change to burn only) it will be some badass great awe inspiring scene. I dont like that they take away daemon/laenas love and treat laena horribly without thinking about the racial connotations. I can't believe ppl liked the change. (I know she's not green but still I want to talk about it)

Why can't the showrunners read and stick to the books and not take away the little goodstuff that the greens have and give to the blacks? Sorry for the rant.

Omg, anon, if you are still around, I am sooooo sorry. I started to answer this the day you sent it, stuck it in my drafts, and completely forgot about it.

It definitely does seem that way, that they transferred some of Aegon's book plot to Viserys. I definitely think they are going to dumb down Aegon's injuries and have it not be as bad as it is in the book. Especially since Viserys rotting away was not in the book. And it's fascinating to me with how shitty of a father they made Viserys when in the book he actually does give a flying fig about his other children, Helaena is particularly close to him and brings the babies to visit him all the time, while in the show they transferred that over to where she brings the babies to Alicent instead.

I will forever be ticked off they cut Vhagar having a fit when Aemond had his eye cut out. And it's really interesting to me how the show laid it on thick that Rhaenyra and Daemon have perfect bonds with their dragons and Syrax feels Rhaenyra's pain, but we didn't see Sunfyre at all and Aegon's bond with him was supposed to be incredible, the same with Dreamfyre and Helaena, and the time we see adult Aemond with Vhagar, he loses control over her.

Laena's death was terrible. That was not empowering, and anyone who thinks so is weird. Her death in the book was...idk, for lack of a better word, soft. Laena's life in the book was much happier and much more fullfilled. She was able to travel around with her family, visit Driftmark, have two beautiful babies, had her bestie Rhaenyra coming to see them all the time. Her death was heartbreaking because she wasn't able to get to Vhagar for one last ride. But it wasn't that garbage that the show produced.

I totally understand the frustration! It definitely makes me nervous about season 2, since we are heading into the first huge battles of the war, and new characters being introduced. My witch queen Alys is on the way and I am soooo concerned they are gonna make her a secret black or something. I have all my fingers and toes crossed that they are going to stick closer to the book this go-around since Ryan Condal seems to be a huge book fan. And GRRM is supposedly (just a rumor I heard) going to be in the writers' room as well. But honestly, my biggest worry is time. They still have shitloads of material to go thru and the showrunners seem determined to wrap this up in four seasons and season 2 is ALREADY 2 hours shorter. That is a immense concern of mine.

[myplasticadversary]

Idk if ur into this still but im having more Sheatles universe thoughts inspired by the girl monkees post.

You know how George and Pattie never had children? I think this would have negative consequences on girl George somehow like I think people would speculate on her being infertile and talk about how she’s depriving men of fatherhood and it wouldn’t help that she was already one of the weird girls and people would moralize about how she doesn’t understand the gift that is motherhood a lot, especially if we’re going off the idea of John having Julian and suffering with ppd. Like they’d be pit against each other (“even John settled down!”) or lumped together as failures as women especially in contrast to Paul (and Ringo I think). George also seems the most likely in my eyes to get an abortion but also it’s the 60s so it would probably be very dangerous and would have disastrous consequences media-wise if it ever came out. Thinking of Brian being not very helpful in this scenario because he can’t decide whether he wants to support her decision to get an abortion and help her or if he’s too worried about the media finding out.

I’m not sure if Ringo has Zak in this universe but if she does it makes things even worse for John and George because she’s so maternal. Like behind the scenes I don’t think ringo would actually be that great of a mother especially because I think she’d still have issues with alcoholism, but she’d probably have them more in the “wine mom” sense where people laugh about it and don’t register it as a problem , and her media persona is already the mother of the group so people really don’t recognize any of her issues.

I also think in sheatles universe The Beach Boys should also at least partially be girls. In this universe I think they’d have kept their og name the Pendletones, I also think Brian and Dennis would be the women. Dennis would 100% get the Courtney love treatment she’d be seen as a total bitch hated by the media and given she was the only one actually into surf culture I think this would have a negative impact but I dunno how. Once she dies tho she does have a group of dedicated fans who want to understand her and respect her like how Anna Nicole Smith and Marylin Monroe have now. (Also trying to wrap my head around how girl Dennis dating Mike Loves alleged daughter would have gone. Because it’s important to me that that’s still part of the lore that Dennis was having a possibly incestuous relationship with Mike Loves daughter).

Girl Brian… I’m fascinated with the concept of girl Brian. Brian is already so infantilized by the media (partially his own doing but you know), I believe she’d be fairly heavily put into the “born pretty yesterday” trope by the media. The media would 100% oscillate between praising her genius and making her out to be this totally useless attractive face.

I think she’d technically have her mental issues addressed way earlier than the 70s but it would not be productive at all like instead of getting her schizoaffective disorder treated she’d be labeled as hysterical so fast. Oh my god her body would be commented on so much more; people still give credit to Eugene Landy for “saving Brian” (aka starving him so he was thin) it would be soooo much worse in a universe where Brian is a woman people would be making horrible rumors about her like they did to Cass Elliot. People would be more willing to recognize her as having an eating disorder than they do guy Brian but I don’t think it would garner a lot of respect. I can’t see girl Brian getting pregnant tho probably because I can’t see her dating a 14 (15?) year old especially when Murray was their manager he already smacked them in front of fans he would be so much more controlling if he had daughters.

I do think they would all still be seen as revolutionaries in some ways like I do think Brian would still have an unprecedented amount of control over the studio in the beginning and their harmonies would still be considered great but I’m not sure people would find Brian’s falsetto as impressive if he were a girl. Mike Love wouldn’t have to sue for credits on songs because as a man he’d be seen as way more of a driving force than he’s considered today. When Brian cedes a lot of control post 1967 I think there would be a feeling of like “well she had a good run but now it’s time for a man to do a man’s job and actually run things.” I don’t know if there would be as much of a push for the “Brian is back” campaign in this universe because again they’d think it was time for the boys (in this universe Mike, Carl, Al and I guess Bruce) to step up. I also do enjoy the thought of Brian still writing all those car songs considering it’s such a male dominated interest and I do think there would be some sort of talk amongst guy fans of “wow a woman that shares my interests she’s my dream girl.”

There’s a lot of songs in The Beach Boys catalogue that have been rightfully criticized like “I Wanna Pick You Up” or “Hey Little Tomboy” and I dunno if they would be written if Brian was a woman but if they were it would still be criticized but I think there would be a lot of speculation as well or like, was there some form of sexual abuse going on which in girl Brian’s life I unfortunately think probably would have happened.

I also think the implications of Dr. Landy having so much control over Brian in the 70s and 80s being so so so bad like I just frankly think she’d be taken advantage of even more than male Brian. I’m not sure how Melinda saving Brian would play out.

There’s a part of me that thinks Brian would have ended up with Al Jardine (in which case I think things actually would probably have been way better for her because Al doesn’t have a lot of controversies and seems like a pretty stable guy all around). I can imagine the anger on Murray’s part extremely early years if Brian and Al were like high school sweethearts and it seemed like Al was going to provide a stable life going off to be a dentist and then joined back in the band at the last minute. I actually really like the idea of high school sweethearts girl!Brian and Al. Considering they were “America’s band” there’s a lot of PR that could come from that of this perfect couple playing in a wholesome band where they make songs about going to the county fair together, but then Al would probably be given more credit than he actually had (which was admittedly quite minimal). Meanwhile behind the scenes Brian is losing her mind and Al is just not sure what to do with this new “hysterical” version of her. Oh! It would also make a lot of sense for Brian to constantly take Mike and Al’s side later on with decisions about new managers if she was not only scared of Mike but also siding with her husband.

Ooh I hadn't considered girl Dennis! That does kinda make sense though considering from what I understand Dennis was sort of brought into the group as an afterthought for the sake of including him, and as a girl I'm sure she'd be even more of a black sheep. But then on the other hand she'd probably be the most eye-catching of the group as the "surfer babe" archetype, which means I think they wouldn't want to keep her behind the drums lol. And if she and Brian are both girls that could add another layer to the comfort they find in one another as the trainwrecks of their family, while probably also Dennis envying how Brian gets to be more than just the looks and gets at least some respect as a true artist and musician. I don't know if Murry would still be physically abusive to girl Dennis, but I could see it if she's inclined to instigate trouble, and then there'd be the betrayal from Brian and Audree not sticking up for her more.

(No comment on marrying Mike Love's estranged daughter djgdgj it's so insane to me. I could see there being some element of girl Dennis looking like a pervert cougar though)

So I've got a lot of thoughts about girl Brian (and I want to pause for a second to say that you should totally check out the book "Summer Fun" by Jeanne Thornton, which is a speculative alternate history imagining what if the person in Brian Wilson's position had been a closeted trans woman and it explores her journey of discovery coinciding with their version of Smile as she approaches an ambitious project and intends to come out but gets shut down, and it's really moving and earnest. @telephonicsonnyboy turned me on to it and I appreciate that ❤️) and I'm probably gonna put them below a cut right now!

First off, regarding Marilyn. I've decided not to genderflip her and so instead the dynamic between her and Brian is more that Marilyn admires and wants to emulate her musically and Brian latches onto her as a friend because she has trouble relating to other women her age whose lives seem to revolve around their boyfriends or husbands. And maybe Mike gets a bit annoyed at Brian's fascination with girl groups like, "oh yeah why don't you just go be in one then?"

I have thought about her and Al Jardine, and I do definitely believe that the media would make them out to be this sweet forbidden love story, forbidden because her brothers and Murry would've threatened to kick him out of the band if he ever tried to sleep with her. My thought was that she ends up kissing Al just to get it over with and relieved when the sparks aren't there and they can just be friends, but I also like the idea of him being one of her constant on-off flames.

Now I think of Brian as a lesbian who doesn't realize it for a long time because she figures that as long as she's technically capable of being with a guy her attraction to girls doesn't really matter, and I see her eventually entering a romantic relationship with Melinda and coming to terms with herself having that safe harbor. As for her first husband, I imagine him being sort of a Van Dyke Parks type who sees her potential as a groundbreaking songwriter and briefly becomes her collaborator, and she gets pregnant partially on purpose to get out of the stress of touring and have more time to work on her music at home. Of course this backfires when being a mother turns out very physically and emotionally taxing on her, with her husband not doing much to support her because he doesn't see what he's supposed to do.

Also, for sure Mike would be seen as much more of a legitimate collaborator to Brian (and subsequently get in a big dick competition with her husband), but I think also Carl would be a lot more actively creative early on just due to pressure from Murry like, "if your sister can do it why don't you boys ever show some initiative?" So I think Brian wouldn't have been saddled so much with the responsibility of being the Genius of the band, but her being there and playing and writing her own stuff would be significant enough on its own, and I think she'd get a lot of attention from various counterculture and women's lib groups to mixed effect. There'd definitely be criticism of her more traditional expression of womanhood which would put her on the defensive, but overall the recognition would help a lot to boost her ego at least until her mental collapse.

Landy, right. Oof. For the record, I don't want to openly speculate on what he might've done to real Brian (though I will say there's a non-zero chance, considering that when Landy was under investigation he was apparently found to have had a rape allegation with another patient that he'd settled out of court, and in general he gives me the vibe of a controlling gold-digging spouse), but with girl Brian that's especially likely. And then that in turn makes Melinda all the more empathetic and horrified and righteously angry at Brian's fucked up pseudo-marriage with her doctor.

[cambion-companion]

I have not seen hotd nor read the related books, but when I somehow stumbled upon ... (I follow Tywin Lannister tags, which leads to GoT, which I guess leads to HotD?.. anyway!)... Aemond and I'm like hot damn who be dis! He looks yummy and villanus.

Anyway! I've read your headacanons and notice that you portray Aemond almost like a gentle lover. Why is that? What makes you think he would be such a nice husband and loving father? I know immediately that I'm basing my assumptions on mere looks and would think of him more as a possessive and jealous lover. The type that doesn't desire children whether his "wife" wants or not. Would he even take a wife? Not saying he would ever visit a brothel cause I can't picture him being entertained by whores. But perhaps a woman catches his eye and he just wants her to be his (marriage or not). Either way! He'd be the one in control. Some type of Dom/sub dynamics. OR I picture him loving (obsessing?) someone, from the shadows, not pursuing because he's afraid of being turned down. Rejection is his weakness? So he keeps his distance. OR if a woman does fascinates him he won't pursue cause he sees love/lust as weakness and with that in mind tries to suppress whatever he's feeling.

I clearly can't decide on how I view him when it comes to "love". But I definitely can't see a soft Aemond when it comes to his lover/partner/friend. So I would absolutely love your expert analysis.

Much thanks!😁

Hi my love! Thank you so much for the message, I'm flattered you want me to expound upon my opinion.

I think a key element in further understanding Aemond's depth of character would be watching the show for yourself, perhaps then it would make a little more sense.

The breakdown in somewhat of a nutshell, is Aemond has a few people in his inner circle whom he cares for beyond the shadow of any doubt. Primary among those few are his mother and his sister. In the show it is obvious he is a momma's boy and shows a much more gentle and loving side to her than we see with anyone else. There are also moments when he is obviously protective of his sister, Helaena, taking a defensive stance in front of her when confronted with a) a man being beheaded in court and b) in front of an actual dragon.

I believe because of this that whoever he falls in love with (if that were to ever happen) would also know the more secret softer side to him.

Aemond is an incredibly nuanced character, the show writers have really put in the effort to make him very layered, but on the surface we see someone who is aloof, even arrogant, and who is hell bent on exacting revenge upon his nephew who took his eye when they were children. The show also take steps to give us a look at Aemond's childhood and how he was bullied by his elder brother, Aegon, as well as his nephews because he had not bonded with a dragon yet.

When Aemond is presented with the opportunity to take revenge on his nephew, he jumps at it, demanding an eye for an eye. When his nephew flees from him Aemond pursues and in a tragic turn of events his nephew winds up dead. Here we see again the deeper part of Aemond's character shining through as he looks on with an expression of horror and regret at what he's done, clearly he did not intend on murder despite all his outward affectations.

Should he have pursued Lucerys demanding his eye? No. Did he mean to kill Luke? Absolutely not.

Again, this points to a depth of character that is more than someone who is cruel and psychotic.

When Aemond was 13 his older brother took him to a brothel to "get it wet" and when Aemond is retelling this story he does so with no pleasure or relish. He is confronted by the prostitute who was there when he was a child. She recognizes him, and it is painfully obvious how traumatized Aemond is from this. Another hint to how he is not simply some cold monster, but a lot of his attitude and confidence is a front to make up for all the trauma he has experienced.

So yes, sorry I went on for longer than I wanted. But I firmly believe that if a woman were to catch his eye and they were to fall in love, we would see that warm loving side to him yet again. It would be extremely difficult for him to actually fall in love, because I don't see him as being someone who opens up and trusts easily. But in his heart of hearts Aemond is a hurt boy who has created a hardened shell to survive in his world.

In the books he does fall in love with a woman, Alys Rivers. And I fully believe he loved her. He brings her with him before his final battle and she kisses him farewell. He calls her "my Alys" and heeds her when she coaxes him down from a rage.

"When informed of the greens' defeat in the Battle by the Lakeshore, Alys prevented an enraged Aemond from strangling the squire who brought the message to Harrenhal." (from her Wiki)

So yes, while I fully believe Aemond will continue to spiral as the events of the Dance unfold, he will keep that secret warmth for those who remain within his inner circle. Interestingly enough, most of those people are women. I honestly cannot think of anyone else who qualifies other than Helaena, Alicent and Alys.

But we will see!

Also here is the gif of him looking at his momma when she is worried about him going out in search of his brother.

[themarginalthinker]

(This one doesn't really get a title, it's a near-totally unedited jam between me and @berd-alert for our vampire ocs the Sarahs and the Boys, discussing the topic of Immortal Children, and the vampire baby currently born, which is not the same thing.)

The baby is cradled in her arms, rosy cheeked and with a fuzz of hair already.

The Boys are fascinated with her. She looks like a living doll. Only Paul and Michael are brave enough to accept Sara's offer to hold her.

She takes milk and her mother's blood.

Paul nudges him and snickers "Kind of like you, huh?"

Michael shows teeth, but smiles. "You're only brave enough to say that because I have a literal baby in my arms."

"He is somewhat correct, though." Sara chuckles, slowly taking her daughter back from Michael. "She is much like a fledgling, and she needs the support that a fledgling does. But she doesn't have to kill to come into her own power."

Michael watches as the pair settle back into the large, plush chair, Sara rocking Sera. David was still not back from the run he'd taken with Dwayne. Michael wondered when the weirdness and odd...defensiveness would fade. He hasn't understood the hissed conversation about 'immortal children' David and Elder Sarah'd had, and no one has yet illuminated him.

"So. Is she just going to... Stay a baby?"

Sara looks up at him, expression puzzled. "No, of course not. She will grow up as any child would, and when she chooses to stop aging, she will."

Paul stands, making or the door.

"Still makes my hackles rise. Brr. No offense," he says as he leaves.

Michael can't help but scowl a little at that, and at the growing confusion.

"What the hell is all that about?" Michael asks.

Sara sighs. "An unfortunate side effect of cultural differences. Your kind cannot have children, You must make more via the embrace. My kind still have the ability to bear young. They do not need to be embraced, the gift of the blood is one they're born with. Unfortunately, your brothers see my child, and assume that I have embraced a baby. And, as you know, those who are embraced never grow past the day they were turned."

David had explained it...sort of. As much as he'd known.

There were different sorts of vampires, but the way he'd phrased it made it sound like something some chose to do, rather than something physical.

Michael lets the pieces slip together in his head - embrace a literal baby...immortal child...the pack's reluctance to come so near, the near-fight at the gate when David and Dwayne had seen the kid- Michael's eyes widened.

"Is that - I mean. Has something like that...happened before?"

"Unfortunately, yes. It was a horrid incident. A young woman who wanted a baby. It didn't end well, both the woman and the child were killed"

Well. Didn't that just turn his stomach rather unpleasantly.

"Why would someone do something like that? Like. Knowing it can't possibly work the way they want?"

Sara shrugs, holding the baby closer. "Desperate people. Sick people. They see no other option in the world, and stake their entire existence on one thing - which, even when they get it, brings them no joy in the end because they only really want what's in their head."

"I'm starting to think maybe it's a good thing to not know what else is out there," Michael mumbles.

Sara laughs. "You're just young. And if old Sarah has anything to say about it, you'll learn it whether you like it or not."

"I rightly would."

The older woman emerges from the back room of the little cottage.

She looks Michael up and down, then glances over at Marko, who's been sitting on the kitchen counter. "You boys should leave Sara here to her nursin'. Y'all take coffee? Just put the kettle on out back."

Marko glances up from fiddling around with the well-chewed strip of leather in his hands, exchanging looks with Michael, who nods.

"Sure," Marko says. "I'll take any excuse in why I'm jumping off the walls."

"You don't use excuses anyway," Michael says, following him out.

[kingedmundsroyalmurder]

Content warning for Racism Against Italians.

"Mrs. Williamson was the “saint in spectacles and calico” which Larry West had termed her. Eric liked her greatly." Can it be? A humanizing characteristic? My God, Mrs. Williamson really is a saint!

Joking aside, I am glad that Eric isn't completely aloof from the townsfolk. He's secretly condescending, even here, but it's genuinely refreshing to hear him display any amount of, like, positive feelings towards another person. We also learn that everyone assumes he is also a poor student working his way through school, and he doesn't dissuade anyone of that impression. So it does seem like, despite his internal monologue, he isn't "putting on airs" or being outwardly condescending. Honestly this book suffers greatly from being from Eric's perspective -- I feel like viewed from the outside he would be much more likeable at this point.

(Not that protagonists have to be likeable, but this book does seem to want the reader to like this man, and unsurprisingly, I don't, particularly.)

This book has quite a dim view of marriage, doesn't it? So far the options for marriage we have been presented with are:

-Marry a woman who is pretty and demure and presentable and will keep your house and host your guests and bear your children. She must have good breeding and a good background. (Rich people option)

-Marry a woman who will be your jailer for the rest of your life, and nag and harangue and make your life a misery until you die or she does. (Poor people option)

-Be a nice??? woman??? and marry a physically weak and unattractive man??? somehow??? (I don't fully understand why the Williamson's marriage doesn't compute for Eric. I am hoping we see more of them and it starts making more sense!)

The nice thing about living in a little, gossipy village is that it is not weird in the slightest to go, "Say, I saw someone weird on the road, can you tell me everything about them?"

“Well, now, you know, Master, I reckon it’s likely he does, seeing that that’s exactly what he is. You’ve hit the nail square on the head. Italyun, yes, sir! Rather too much so, I’m thinking, for decent folks’ taste.” And we were having such a good time too! Alas, the Racism must inexorably rear its head. I'm not going to quote the rest but, rest assured if you have not read this book, It Gets Worse. Perhaps Eric is confused why Mrs. Williamson married Robert Williamson because Robert Williamson is Racist? (It's not, but a girl can dream).

"Old James Gordon was living then, Thomas and Janet’s father, and he said he would never turn a child out of his door. He was a masterful old man and liked to be boss." Fascinated by this world in which a man refusing to turn out a day old infant left at his home is somehow the stubborn bad guy making mule-headed decisions. 

“No, why, I thought they were on bad terms,” said Mrs. Williamson, betraying a little feminine curiosity" Eric, my man, you've just been interrogating these people about Neil Gordon. I don't think you can cast aspersions on anyone for being curious about their neighbors.

So the mysterious hot boy is named Neil Gordon and is the child of two traveling Italian peddlers. His mother died the day he was born and his father skipped town the day after, leaving baby Neil in the care of the Gordon family, who had been hosting his parents. Neil was raised amidst the townsfolk, but none of them like or trust him because he is Foreign, despite, you know, literally having been born in this town. Blood Will Out and all that. The Gordons live a little ways out of town and they are Queer and Dour and Keep To Themselves.

Also they have a niece. I am sure this detail will in no way be relevant to the rest of our story.

[alliluyevas]

3, 6, and 16 for the book asks?

What were your top five books of the year?

The Hemingses of Monticello: An American Family by Annette Gordon-Reed (2008).

My parents and I went to Monticello about a month ago and I picked this up in the gift shop. My parents had visited in 1972 (my dad) and 1991 (my mom) and I had never been, and obviously a LOT has changed in how they talk about history at Monticello in the last 30-50 years. I think that the current exhibitions and tours at the site are really doing a good job of engaging with the stories of the enslaved people who lived at Monticello, both Sally Hemings and her children + the extended Hemings family and members of other families, but I definitely wanted to know more. (side note: for my Virginia/DMV followers or anyone who ever happens to be in the Charlottesville area, it is really worth visiting! Absolutely fascinating and they're doing great public history work.)

I literally could not put this book down, I read it in a week while working full time and finishing up graduate school applications. It's beautifully written and absolutely captivating. Gordon-Reed does fantastic work both with existing primary sources and fleshing out some of the things we will never know because no one wrote or spoke about them. It's a deeply sad story and left me feeling very raw, but also thinking about resilience and the eternal complexities of the human heart.

Sally in Three Worlds: An Indian Captive in the House of Brigham Young by Virginia Kerns (2021).

Copy-pasting my Goodreads review: This is an incredibly powerful book that tries to give voice to the story of a woman who was profoundly marginalized both in life and in history, and to the complex dynamics between peoples as Mormon settlers colonized Utah. Kerns does a magnificent job of weaving Sally's story out of source material that is rich in many respects and deeply limited in others. Her writing style is also really compelling: lyrical, poetic, and deeply felt. It also gave me a completely new frame of reference for the history of women in Mormonism and for the dynamics of the Young household. A deeply upsetting book but also one I could not recommend enough.

I actually posted about this last night, but there are a lot of interesting thematic similarities between this book and Hemingses of Monticello. Again, directly copy-pasting from last night's post: They're about very different cultural contexts but deal with similar subjects in many ways: race, gender, slavery, and very complicated familial dynamics...I think both books also do a really good job of portraying the life of a woman (poignantly, the two women actually share the same first name) who left nothing in her own words.

I used the word "painful intimacy" in my first post about Sally in Three Worlds, and I think it very much applies to the household dynamics portrayed in both books.

Like a Fiery Meteor: The Life of Joseph F. Smith by Stephen Taysom (2023).

Again, stealing from my own Goodreads review (I'm the only person who has reviewed this book on GR, rip): I think a non-hagiographical full-length biography of Joseph F. Smith was long overdue, and I was very excited to read this, but I did not expect to find it as emotionally compelling and thought-provoking as I did. Taysom does a fantastic job of telling the story not just of Joseph F., who comes off by turns as both deeply sympathetic and deeply unlikable, but of his expansive polygamist family and their environment. I think this was a very compassionate, nuanced portrait of someone who had deep and profound unaddressed trauma that affected his whole life, and who was capable of both overwhelming love and cruel, controlling and even violent behavior towards his loved ones. I think the book is very aware of that dichotomy and the factors that shaped Joseph F.'s life and choices and is full of really fantastic analysis. I thought the discussion of gender roles and how they related to Joseph F.'s struggles with both anger and anxiety and his interpretation of those feelings was particularly well-done.

These were definitely my top three books of the year, and honestly just fantastic works of historical/biographical storytelling period. I read Sally in Three Worlds in May, Fiery Meteor in June, and Hemingses of Monticello a month ago, and all three of the books have really stuck with me. They're all quite haunting, and very thought-provoking, even months later.

Go Down, Moses by William Faulkner (1942).

I read this much earlier in the year, but again it actually intersects really well as a fictional counterpart to The Hemingses of Monticello. Go Down, Moses is a novel formed out of seven interconnected short stories, centering on the black and white halves of the same family, unacknowledged cousins. I've loved Faulkner's writing since high school (well, really since I read A Rose for Emily in seventh grade, but I read The Sound and the Fury in high school) and I wanted to expand my exposure to his work. I have yet to read anything by Faulkner where I wasn't just blown away by the literary quality of his prose, and I think the interlocking stories setup of the book was very effective.

I did think back to this book and Southern Gothic in general several times while reading about the Hemings-Jefferson family--it's not like I wasn't aware of the historical context behind southern gothic as a genre but it really made it very explicit. Especially during the parts of the book talking about Jefferson's white family and their efforts to create a family legacy that explicitly left out the Hemings relatives, and then thinking about future generations of white southerners like Faulkner engaging--or not engaging--with this past. Like--this is the ghost haunting the house, this is the rot at the heart of the family tree.

Luncheon of the Boating Party by Susan Vreeland (2007).

This feels a bit odd thematically tacked on at the end here, because while it's not like this book is just totally light-hearted, it's not literally about intensely traumatic interpersonal relationships in the way that the previous four are. It is, however, a really great historical fiction novel! It's about the creation of the painting by Pierre-Auguste Renoir that shares the same title, with several narrators--Renoir and some of the people who sat for the painting--telling an overlapping story. The prose is fantastic, which you don't see as often as I'd like in histfic, I really felt the rich sensory development of the historical world, and Vreeland does a great job of fleshing out complex and compelling characters and relationships.

Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

Oh, so much, lol. As well as long-term TBR stuff that will roll over to next year, there are a couple newly released books that I just picked up from the library that I hope to read in the next couple weeks before the year is over/before they go back to the library. (The Vaster Wilds and Master Slave Husband Wife. I can't renew them because they're "hot picks" and a bunch of other people have them on hold.)

What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

I already answered this one in a previous ask, and honestly I can't think of another book I read that I would call over-hyped per se.

[cassynite]

I'm so late to this, and you probably already got most, but how about 🍋, 🌠(probably Crow?), and 💙 for Sparrow?

I didn't get any of these!! Thank you SO MUCH for these questions, it helped me discover something new about Sparrow :)

🍋 Does your OC act petty and jealous easily? What sort of things make them feel like this and do they experience guilt for getting so worked up? How do they deal with these emotions when they get them? If your OC doesn’t feel like this often, why not?

So regarding relationships: Sparrow absolutely experiences jealousy, though it stems from insecurity and how easily it happens tends to depend on how insecure she is in a relationship. It tends to be directed internally, less "what is that other person doing my partner" and more "what am I doing wrong that my partner needs to find it in someone else." It leads to her withdrawing and she rarely acts out because of it; if she does, it would be because she interpreted the actions that made her jealous as a deliberate attack, and would focus her anger either on herself or bring it up to her partner rather than involve the other person. When it comes to non-relationship jealousy...Sparrow can get envious of others, certainly, but she rarely if ever acts on it. People who show confidence and ease in their own skin, people who have happy families or strong friend groups, all of these can inspire a sickening envy. But like with relationships, Sparrow keeps it deeply internal, and would never act on those feelings.

🌠 Who was your OC’s first friend? Do they remember them or are they still friends now? Talk about some of the people your OC has lost contact with over the years. Do they have any regrets about losing these people and would they revist them if they could?

You got it in one--Crow was her very first friend! Her relationship to him is clarified in that idealized childhood, the platonic ideal she'll never obtain again--even when she finds out he's alive and finds him again. He was definitely THE most important person in the world to her for most of her life, even after she lost him. I think besides that, though, she definitely had other friends, children her age that she played with in Dehrukani. Not a lot, mind you, and she didn't see them all the time--she and Crow lived outside of a smaller village on the cliffsides and she didn't have a lot of opportunity to see others beyond Crow's work--but there were children who let her join in on their games whenever she did visit the village. Sparrow no longer remembers their names or their faces, but she still cherishes them as an indication that at one point she was able to make friends easily. I also think that Sparrow was close with another adult--there was a glassblower that lived in the village that Sparrow would watch whenever she was able to go to the town. Saelid was a busy elven woman and Sparrow didn't know her terribly well, but she would always answer Sparrow's questions on the craft, and Sparrow was fascinated with the process.

💙 What did your OC want to be when they grew up and why? Did they have any lifelong dreams or ambitions they never got to work on or are they currently working to achieve this dream? Has their life taken a very unexpected turn and put all these plans on hold for a while or have they given up on any dreams?

Ha I should have brought up the glassblower here! While her earliest desire was to do exactly what her brother does and become an artificer and engineer, her talent never really grew in that area. However, she loved the process of making glass, and her brother had ideas on how to supplement it with magic--the plan was that when she turned twelve she'd actually go into an apprenticeship with Saelid to learn the craft. She had dreams of bigger things than the sculptures Saelid focused on--she wanted to help create buildings with glass that would not break, mixing magic and the process in a way that her brother does with his larger-scale creations. Of course, her capture and enslavement destroyed those plans. She lost a lot of her former interests in the name of fitting into the role of Lady Evaethi when called for, and while she still has a passing interest in architecture and its foundations she doesn't remember a lot of what she'd learned as a child. If she'd never been captured, she would have become a great glassmaker.

[talldarkandroguesome]

7th of Hearthfire, Turdas

What wonderful news! Tel has sent word that they will be arriving next week!

I have let the children know and Sildras and Cariel are both very excited. Kuna, well, she is less so. She does not understand why anyone should be so excited about someone who chose Vivec over Almalexia to follow.

Honestly, I do not blame her. If I had to choose one of the Triune to pledge myself to, I would certainly select Almalexia. Despite her role in the fall of the Chimer, she has stuck to her word. She wanted to take on the role of Lord Boethiah and as far as I can tell, that is what she is doing.

Of course, Lord Boethiah is far more powerful, but for being a mortal trying to step in the footsteps of a god, Almalexia does manage to stay the course. She says she will help the poor, and while there is certainly a small element of corruption in the Temple, the poor do have their basic needs met. The city she protects with all she is. She has seen to it that threats are eliminated.

After seeing how quietly the Maulborn threat was put down, I am sure that there have been hundreds of small threats that she has protected the city from without anyone being the wiser of. I have great respect for that. And so our city sees great prosperity and peace as a direct result of what she does.

Vivec has that awful moonlet that he hangs over his city like a threat to the people. Worship me or I will destroy you all. It is all very doom and gloom. Pageantry with a threat of violence. Very distasteful if you ask me. And he mantles my Prince so poorly. It is pathetic.

Then there is Sotha Sil. Off in his own little hidden city, hiding from the world. Not very good as far as caring for your people. Does he wish to be Azura so badly that he must run off and try to have his own plane? At least Lord Azura will intervene to help Her people.

I was surprised to see a very spirited discussion of the False Tribunal today between my children. Cariel's ideas were much more rudimentary, she has heard much and parrots back what she can recall, but she is still very young. Sildras did well in letting his sisters have their discussion and supported Cariel in explaining what she meant. He mostly worked to mediate the discussion and when Mother came in to find this going on, she went from cross to fascinated. Like me, she did not wish to make her true beliefs known, but simply asked questions of the girls to sort out what they believed and why.

Kuna mostly seems to think that Almalexia is the best because she is a woman and women are inherently more powerful and amazing than men. Mother asked about Vivec, being that he is neither wholly man nor woman, yet somewhat both. Kuna did not seem to know what to make of this knowledge and eventually settled on that if he were half and half, that makes him half as strong as a woman, but half more strong than a man. But if he spends time as both, then he is very powerful only half of the time when he chooses to be a woman.

Mother was certainly concerned and I think is going to have some special lessons with her to talk about that while women are very special and every bit as capable as a man, sometimes more so, there can be men who are also very interesting and amazing.

Cariel seemed to think that it is because the living gods were once mortal that they can understand mortals better than other gods. They know what it was like to be mortal and can therefore better work as our gods by knowing our struggles intimately. Having gone through them, they anticipate our needs best.

I can only imagine how this conversation will expand when Tel arrives. I am sure they will be thrilled by the theology discussions of children. I do look forward to Kuna telling Tel that Vivec is not as cool as Almalexia and seeing what Tel has to say in defense of their beloved Vehk. To a child. A child every bit as stubborn as her mother.

It is going to be a very fun week once Tel arrives.